Show Mercy
by HelpINeedMercy
Summary: (i've been writing this since 2016 , it's not following cannon anymore! ) After the explosion at Overwatch HQ, Angela Ziegler has to manage going into hiding while pregnant with Jack's child, avoiding Talon and trying to figure out who that mysterious mercenary is! but trouble is on the horizon.. (Mercy76 fic) Story contains: pregnancy, PTSD, depression, love, some violent themes.
1. Chapter 1

The room was blurred. her eyes slowly focused on the lights above her. Jolting pain in her shoulder and the taste of metal.

" you're awake luv!" came a familiar voice. a startled grunt came from the corner, along with the sounds of pawing for glasses.

"what..." she tried to verbalize what was on her mind. but her memory felt fuzzy, she started to cry as she slowly regained only the outlines of memories of what had happened.

"there there love, you are safe now, we have you" Lena softly spoke.

"nothing will happen to you" reassured Winston.

But something had happened. Something had gone horribly wrong, the last things she remembered was saying goodbye to the commander in the morning. Each of them going their separate ways for the day.

Then smoke, explosions. The screaming, the building falling.

"but what" she tried asking again.

"nothing to be concerned of right now. we just want our doc back up in tip top shape" Lena comforted. her eyes looked sad and small fresh healed scars dotted her face. Angela truly felt helpless, and then she remembered more.

It overwhelmed her again to the point of exhaustion. Something bubbling up in her stomach. Lena noticed and zipped to grab a tray, softly putting it in front of her distressed friend, and stroking her platinum locks.

Angela heaved into the tray, but nothing came up, she hadn't eaten in what felt like days. She kept heaving as the pain and emptiness overpowered her.

"i think it's best if we let her rest" said Winston, his eyes kind and full of sadness, to his brunette friend.

Lena smiled sadly and stroked Angela's back.

"get some more rest luv, you need it" .

Angela nodded her head and curled into a ball. Shaking with emotions.

'what happened... where was her commander, her jack? . what happened with the meeting with Reyes? why, why did this happen?' and with that thought she fell into a restless sleep. Her dreams clouded with smoke and fire. she kept hearing again and again " we cannot find the commander. We believe the meeting with Reyes did not go as planned"

Winston gripped Lena's small shoulder outside of Angela's room, "while she rests we should inform the rest of the crew that our doctor is awake". Lena winced.

a single tear fell from her eyes. The walked together to the main room where the rest of their crew weary and half asleep. None of them wanted to remain in their own rooms until finding out how their doctor was doing.

The many fears swirling in their heads, now with their commander gone, who would take over? would there be anything left to take over? and what had he figured out?

"Angela has woken up" Winston said breaking the silence. McCree shifted in his seat, he got up and walked to the balcony, striking up a light for his cigar, his worry caused him to roll more than he could probably smoke in a month. He inhaled the musky smoke, the process was comforting, the news was good

but there was so much to still deal with, the uncertainty clouded his mind. Lena followed him, she could use some air, but crinkled her nose as the smoke hit her face, not that she minded. She had grown quite fond of the deep smoky scent that followed McCree everywhere he went.

Inside taking in the news was the rest of the group.

"i should attend to her" Ana said softly, she had been helping with Angela's recovery and now with her more awake, she had a few potions that could help her.

She got up and grabbed her pack, walking towards the medical bay, when she heard Winston behind her. He pulled her aside and said " she was obviously very distressed, anything that you could do to calm her nerves would be greatly appreciated. As we do need her to make a statement publicly as soon as possible" he said matter of factly.

Ana sighed, Winston added " her wellbeing is top priority of course".

"i will do as you have asked, but she will need time" stated Ana as she entered the room where Angela was. In all the years she had known and quarreled with Angela she never wished any of this upon her. Their research varied, but that didn't make them enemies, or competition.

Winston returned to the slightly more uplifted group. Reinhardt looked up at him "well, that's good news with out doctor waking up and all. I say we all get a well deserved drink, will someone let the others know?" he said as he heaved himself up and started to walk away.

"you should sty on base, we haven't told anyone else what has happened, and we don't need panic" said Winston.

"what's it to yeh?" piped up Torbjorn, straightening himself to follow Reinhardt.

"all I'm saying is, after the explosion we don't want to cause public panic. your solemn faces in a bar might not be the best course of action" said Winston.

"eh, we look the same way we always do! nuffen we do could cause public panic, well, besides Reinhardt getting drunk and swinging his hammer around" Torbjorn said with a slight laugh.

Winston sighed and walked toward his room, there was nothing more he could do, he didn't know the fate of what would happen to the group, so it's best he didn't try to interfere. They were all going through too much. Too much uncertainty.

 **A/N:** ** _So! there it is! the first chapter of my first public fan fic. Please review and let me know what you think, if you don't like it, that's totally okay! just let me know what you don't like! and thank you thank you thank you._**

 ** _EDIT: just fixed some typo's and such_**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: it's not exactly a filler chapter, it's more of a setting up things to come later chapter... so a chapter!**

Angela's eyes fluttered open. "where is he?" she asked softly.

"I'm just going to give you something to make you relax" state Ana to Angela, looking at her curled up body made her feel the need to comfort her. To do something, anything to ease the pain.

' Angela has been the on closest to commander Morrison, they tried to hide it' she thought, but no one could hide it from Ana's watchful eye.

Angela nodded in understanding but asked again "Where is he?"

"you know we don't know that" Said Ana in frustration. Then she softened "well maybe you don't know".

Angela clutched her knees to her chest and started shaking and heaving again, her worst fear had come true. She hadn't told him, she thought Gabriel and Jack would have worked things out, that they would have gone their separate ways. She thought that would have been the end of it, no more worries, and she could finally tell him.

Tell him what she had longed too, but he was so stressed, she had never seen him that way. Losing a friend like that, to what? greed, jealousy? power ? she just wanted it be resolved peacefully, to be able to have him walk in later that night, as he would wrap his arms around her, this time with more passion, not in exhaustion, and she would tell him.

The realization that this had changed everything, caused her body to shake harder, and dry sobs shook her small frame.

"oh dear, what can i do?" asked Ana softly, trying to comfort her.

Angela ignored her, nothing could be done. She wanted to try and find him, to find out it was a sick joke, a terrible prank.

Her jack couldn't be gone... he just couldn't be.

Ana sighed, as Angela started heaving again "my dear, I'm going to give you something to help calm you, and something for your pain"

Angela looked at her, her blue eyes filled with tears "Ana... please... tell me this is a nightmare"

Ana blinked back a tear "my dear, I'm afraid it's so.." and her voice cracked, she rummaged through her bag, and expertly mixed two vials together. She held it up to her friends pale lips, usually they were rosy, full of life.

Angela slowly sipped, the liquid felt warm and her whole body felt buzzing in numbness. She needed to disappear for awhile, so that the others wouldn't find out, she thought as she drifted off to sleep.

Lena was still outside with McCree, she tried to grab a puff off his cigar, but choked on the smoke, as he almost laughed.

She had grown quite close to him in the past few days, things had been so uncertain, but she always knew he would sit with her and talk, whether in silence or small conversations.

Sure she was tough, and could fully take care of herself, but with Angela not being around she felt a lack of human connections.

Lena finally broke the silence "it's horrible to see her like this, she's supposed to be the one always healin' us" .

"it was never supposed to be this way, but it's happened, all we can do is wait for her to heal" he exhaled and the smoke swirled around him. A chill was in the air, as they watched Torbjorn and Reinhardt stumbled to a bar.

"feel like joinin' them?" she asked. He eased himself against the balcony, pulling a flask from his pouch.

"fancy joining me?" he asked taking a long draw off his cigar, the ember lit up showing his face under his shadowy hat, a weary face with an expression of hopefulness.

Lena grabbed the flask from him "cheers mate" she said taking a swig, wincing slightly at the whiskey. She licked her lips and handed it back to him.

He took a swig and handed it back, and she took a larger swig and dropped down to the ground, she knew due to her disassociation she needed to be careful about drinking, but tonight was different.

She held the flask up towards him and he decided to join her sitting against the wall, their backs to the building, watching the sun set. Hours and days away from where the fight had happened, where the building collapsed, but the sunset seemed to have a smoky hue.

"dun know how she will take it" said Lena softly "i mean she knows, but I'm not sure she really knows, you know?"

He took a swig, noticing the taste was different, he was holding a different flask, he almost laughed realizing she switched flasks on him, but what she had said made him stop. They all had a suspicion about the commander and mercy.

But nobody wanted to bring attention to it, if anyone needed someone, they needed each other. But they were both so strict, and would have never gone against professionalism.

He handed her the flask back, she took a large swig and spoke again. " i mean, they wouldn't want us to talk about it, but somethin' was real sweet about them. he softened up, and she needed him as much as she needed him" She withheld a sob and stifled it with another swig, trying to conceal her tears.

"he was the best commander, pulled me out of what i was doing, and i joined, without him i wouldn't be here" he stated, looking over at the brunette, he had never seen her like this, she was always so cheerful and hopeful. He reached out and patted her shoulder.

"maybe you should slow down" he said to her.

She chuckled slightly at that "me? slow down? I'll never slow down, not iii. not ttttt...racer" she said slurring her words.

He took another long puff off his cigar, he didn't know what to say, these situations he usually had something to say, but not to her, everything felt too generic.

So he puffed out smoke and looked at the sun setting, he raised his flask and motioned for Lena to join him.

"To commander Morrison, the best damn commander" he said.

She choked back a sob and raised her flask " to commander Morrison" she said as she took a bitter gulp, and stared at the sky, the sun was diminishing rapidly. McCree sighed and place an arm around her. At first she was startled, but then she collapsed into his shoulder, the sun set, the smell of smoke and whiskey surrounded them.

Reinhardt and Torbjorn came into view, laughing and softly joking. It almost felt normal, but their faces told another story.

It had been a long couple of days, and they all hoped their guardian angel would pull through.

 **A/N: i know it's a short one! thank you if you read this chapter! let me know what you think!**

 **Edit: just fixed typo's**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Sorry about all the chapters starting with "Angela woke up"**

Angela woke up covered in a damp sweat. She reached out for a hand that wasn't there, and heard hushed voices talking. It must be morning she thought as she opened her eyes to see sunlight trickling in.

"she can't be, it's just not possible, she has to have known" said Lena in a hushed tone to Ana. Ana inhaled deeply. "my dear, we must not let her know yet, she is in a fragile state, she ma have the spirit of the Valkyrie, but her heart is fragile, she needs rest and comfort". But Angela already knew, if she didn't know she wouldn't be a good doctor, she was pregnant, and somehow they knew.

Angela plunged back into her sleep, her worst fears confirmed. The secret she had been carrying. The beautiful, wonderful secret that she would have told him, that she planned to tell him after he settled things with Reyes. This was unexpected, as unexpected as the pregnancy was, but she knew he would have been happy. But h would have scolded her for her field work while fully knowing she was pregnant.

But her secret was now out, and instead of feeling joy swell inside her, she felt grief. The loss inside was screaming, she would be utterly alone, hr child only knowing the heroic tales of it's father. The images displayed of him in his glory, but not know the real man, the one who told terrible jokes, and who had a laugh that would always make her smile. Being soothed to sleep curled in-between them, it would never know.

She couldn't do this alone, she didn't want to do this alone. She felt herself shake into sleep again.

Her dreams drifted into him standing in front of her, blood soaked and weary, "doc, i think I'm going to need some medicine" he said, as blood dripped to the floor. She looked up from her research and ran over to him. "right this way" she said motioning for him to sit down on the table. She couldn't asses the damage with all his gear on, blood was caked around his neck and shoulders.

She tsk-ed under her breath. " I'm going to need to see what i am working with" she said, trying to hide a faint blush, they had been mildly flirting for weeks, nothing for certain, and she hoped the color rising wouldn't alert him. He slung off his coat, letting it fall to the ground, catching the blood drippings, she helped him remove his chest armor, but the under armor was sticking in place with dried blood and fresh blood.

She swore under her breath in German,here she was thinking about him shirtless when his injuries could be horrible. "I'm sorry but I'm going to need to either cut around it or apply some..uhhh" her thought got lost, as she realized he was mostly shirtless sitting in front of her, part of his shirt stuck to him.

"or some what? doc" he uttered sucking in air. " oh uhm. burny stuff" she said quickly, then immediately felt embarrassed. 'burny stuff? did i just say burny stuff to one of the top soldiers of overwatch?' she thought.

She grabbed the scissors and began cutting, he softly laughed " i assume this isn't the burny stuff?" he asked.

"no uhm, you know what i mean, the alcohol " she fumbled with her words.

" sounds like you have had some today" he teased.

" i am working! and you are distracting me" she retorted, redness flushed into her cheeks, she applied alcohol to the remaining fabric, and pried off the fabric. Normally she would have felt bad, but she was so embarrassed she couldn't process the situation.

He winced "that is burny stuff" he said.

" oh Morrison" she gasped, as she saw the deep wound, immediately she got to work on extracting the shrapnel. "do you need something for the pain?" she asked. trying not to hurt him, or get distracted.

" hurt more going in" he quipped, then inhaled sharply when she extracted the largest piece.

"did it?" she asked, as he sat still grimacing in pain. She stitched him up, he remained stoic the entire time, but she still knew it hurt.

"uh ange?" he said, motioning to the floor, blood caked his boot, she felt like an idiot for not assessing the damage properly, 'this is why we aren't suppose to fraternize' she scolded herself.

She carefully removed his boot, and pushed up his pant leg, a large wound visible. She grabbed her supplies and got to work, his reflexes caused his leg to nearly kick her. He apologized between gasps of pain.

Removing another large chunk of shrapnel from his leg, "i should have been in the field today" she lamented.

"none of us expected it to turn out this way today, it was supposed to be a simple extraction" he said with a sharp inhale as she stitched up the wound.

"instead you are the one getting the extraction" she said softly. she bandaged up the area, and stood up, taking off her gloves and tossing them into the trash.

" i still should have gone, if i hadn't been so busy upgrading my Caduceus staff, i would have been there, i should have been there"

"not much good some bandages and a pistol would have done without your staff ange" he said placing a hand on her shoulder. She blushed and tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear.

Jack smiled at her, she seemed on edge, it had been a long day, and the increasing amount of workloads had piled up on everyone, trying to figure out where the next uprisings were occurring. Getting their gear into top shape.

"hey ange? " he asked cautiously, knowing she was probably busy, or that she didn't feel the same way.

She looked up from washing her hands. " yes jack?"

"would you maybe like to join me for some, burny stuff, the drinkable kind? i know we don't normally drink, and i understand if you are busy, i just figured you could use a break and uh, it could just be coffee...or uh"

Angela blushed harder, she kept her back to him, her head was racing, "jack!" she cut him off. "i would love too" she said, spinning around and flashing a smile, hoping her cheeks weren't bright red, but upon looking at him she noticed his cheeks were flushed as well.

But it could have just been from the pain.

"did you want to meet me somewhere? or we could go now.. or" he rambled.

She smiled "jack, we should probably change if we are going out" she giggled. "i mean, i did cut apart your shirt" she added, she had been trying to avoid looking too long, and actually seeing what was under his jacket and vests he always wore.

"ah... yeah... uhm. meet you out front? in an hour?" he asked, tugging on his ripped shirt and wincing in pain.

" do you need help?" she asked. He let his wounded arm hang "i can't say no to you but don't tell Gabe i needed help dressing myself" he said. ' truthfully, i could put on this ragged shirt without help, but who could resist an offer from an angel?' he thought.

Her heart raced, as she carefully slid his arm through the cut up sleeves, her fingers lingering on his bicep, he looped an arm halfway into his jacket and she helped him with the other side.

"I'm glad you are alright jack" she said. "I'll see you in an hour" .

"thanks doc" he said slowly walking out, realizing the shooting pain in his leg from the injuries, but he walked with a small spring in his step despite the pain, because the excitement of finally asking her for a drink was an adrenaline boost.

 **A/N updated slightly, to change Swedish to German, i made a huge mistake on that one! so sorry!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: continuing the memory from the last chapter, but from Angela's perspective. Honestly this is a rewrite. This chapter has been haunting me for a long time now. It was written when I wasn't confident enough to feel like I could convey their emotions properly and I feel this chapter was one of my weakest. Anyways. Here it is.**

A smile was etched on my face, what will I wear? Is this a date ? Or was he just being nice to me... sure he's always nice to me but...

"oh what is your hurry? we saw Jack bouncing through here a minute ago too, he looked worse for wear" said Ana with a knowing look, interrupting my thoughts.

It was nice to see Fareeha around, I knew Ana looked forward to the moments she got to spend with her. But it went exactly easy seeing her here, being raised with militant parents and being on base as a child a lot.

" oh it's nothing I'm just, well. I have to be somewhere soon and uh. I need to run. We will catch up later, yes?" I said with a smile. Trying desperately to get away.

" of course! Have fun! " replied Ana with a coy wink.

Fareeha waved goodbye as I raced towards my room, and flung open the door once the keycard allowed it.

Everything was scattered around, couldn't work on just one project at a time. First thing must be a shower, once that was done I dried my hair and pulled it back into a simple braided updo. Sliding on some nighttime makeup, pausing as the peach colored lipstick went on, where are we going ? Should I add more or. Oh mein gotte what if. Glancing at the clock, I'm late. What should I wear?! Digging through the closet and eyeing each option. Finally settling on a black dress and some little heeled boots. I had been waiting so long for this moment, I've never really felt an attraction towards anyone like this before, ever. I try not to daydream but his compliments towards my work. His ability to listen to me after a long mission. His willingness to help me with whatever I need. Ugh! Pull yourself together Angela!

Double checking my makeup and eyeing the bottle in the corner. Scheisse! No. You are going for drinks, you don't need liquid courage and you don't want to appear weak, my hand began to shake. Shush Angela, this is probably just a completely normal thing, no need to stress. As I exited my room I heard clunky limping steps come up behind her.

"sorry, took a bit longer than it should have, had to get Gabe off my back" he said with a laugh.

"of course" I replied, I cannot look at him without blushing right now. Scheisse scheisse.

"However, I managed to get away, you ready?" he asked opening the doors. The cold air whipped against against us. I leaned towards him to use as a barrier against the wind. He hesitated at the doors when our short but quiet walk ended at the local bar. A typical overwatch hangout spot to burn steam. We frequented this place after long missions. I would usually try to conceal how much I consumed and thankfully no one noticed. Being here is a sure sign that it's just a thank you kind of thing. Just alone this time, I looked down at my feet for a moment trying to hide my disappointment.

"maybe we should go somewhere else?, i hear the one a block down is more quiet" he said softly.

" ja-yes. Yes, that would... work" my enthusiastic response seemed a bit much. He stifled a laugh and we walked on. My footing hit a crack in the sidewalk turning my ankle and causing my balance to be thrown off, nothing embarrassing because his arm flew out to steady me. His hand lingering on my spine for a moment.

" thank you " I said softly.

" my pleasure " he said as his arm linked into mine.

" just in case" he added, I glanced up at him for a moment, in the moonlight you could see a slight tint to his cheeks and a twitching smile. Is he just as nervous as I am? Feeling his muscles tense against my arm.

" you'd think for a Swiss woman who is so stubborn about wearing heels in the field could manage a sidewalk" he teased.

" these are different" I argued.

" I've seen you climb rocks like a little mountain goat, but sidewalks. The enemy of Angela"

"I didn't even fall! I steadied myself!" I argued back. He had a mischievous glimmer in his eyes and that smile, oh goodness that smile.

We stood outside a darkly lit bar, the candles glimmered from the windows. My heart began racing, this doesn't seem like a place you just take a coworker too. His arm slid out of mine as he opened the door, I stepped in and waited for him, then someone led us to a table near the back, a more secluded area as we slid into the plush seating. He moved closer to me and his shoulder gently brushed mine.

" can I get you anything?" Asked the server.

" vesper" I carefully asked, I know it's strong and I don't want to be judged.

" old fashioned" said Jack. The server nodded and left and returned within a moment, the joys of omnic servers.

" shall we toast with that very James Bond drink of yours ?" Asked Jack with a smirk.

" it is very James Bond, but I blame the base in Germany for it" I said.

" ah yes, well. Here's to you Angela" he said clinking his glass against mine and taking a swig of his drink. I happily took one of mine, letting it warm my throat and hopefully my thoughts. Our silence making me want to just down the drink in one gulp, but I bit my lip instead trying to think of something anything to say.

" how was your day?" Asked Jack his voice showing a slight waver to it.

" it was interesting" I said pausing to take another sip.

" how so?"

" well this blonde fellow came bleeding into my office..." I teased, scheisse too much!

" oh really? He was probably just trying to show off his battle scars"

I laughed and the grin of his face got larger which he quickly disguised with his drink.

" probably..."

" so this dashingly rugged and handsome man, that was the interesting point of your day"

Taking another swig to empty my drink i arched a brow.

" when did I say he was dashingly rugged? "

He let out a wonderful laugh and shook his head and placed a hand on his chest.

" you might as well have left him to bleed with words like that"

" oh pssht, maybe he was dashing"

" just dashing ?"

I started laughing again, this was a step up from our usual causal flirting. Was this flirting?

" would you like another? " asked the server.

" please" I responded rather quickly.

" and for you sir?"

" yes" replied Jack.

Soon enough we had another round sitting in front of us.

" how are you doing ?" I asked after taking a sip.

" well, I'm out having a drink with a charming woman..." started Jack then he took a swig, charming...

" I meant how are your injuries doing?"

His eyes squinted as he smiled and looked down twirling his drink for a moment.

" oh uh. They are doing fine" he responded, his tone slightly disappointed.

" I... i am sorry I "

" for what? Being you?"

I pushed a strand of hair out of my face but it just proceeded to fall back down. Jack's hand grazed my face as he tucked it behind my ear. I could feel my blood pounding through my veins.

" I was just... well you know how I am" I slurred for a moment.

" of course I do, Always on the job"

I took another drink and nodded.

He cleared his throat after taking another gulp.

" I'm the same way though, so I can relate"

" oh I know"

" of course you know..." he said while letting out a sigh.

" is that a bad thing? That our work is so important "

" well, I don't think so, but I thought we were..." and he paused, running his hand through his hair.

I had been wanting to know what this was about, what is going on with us for what feels like an eternity. Maybe it's just how alike we are or...

" are you lost in your thoughts again?" He said softly.

I twitched, please concentrate.

" I'm fine, you were saying?" I said arching my brow at him and smiling.

He looked down and finished his drink, motioning to the server for more.

I downed mine and glanced over at him, he looked anxious, before a mission anxious. The drinks sliding onto the table brought a moment of distraction. Jack's eyes looked nervously around for a brief second.

"Is something wrong? Did I say something or?" I asked as I reached for my drink his hand brushed mine. I could feel the heat on my cheeks as I pulled my drink back to me. Should I have responded? Probably... scheisse.

I downed half of it right then and there. We could small talk all night but nothing would get resolved. Maybe he actually does have feelings for me.

" oh! My latest project has funding, just got approved today" I said trying to break the silence. Ugh work again.

" that's excellent news! " replied Jack as a look of relief washed over his face.

" but was there really a doubt ?" He added after taking a swig.

" there always is a doubt, but nothing like before overwatch, now it's only the cause of minor distress while waiting which I have you to thank for that, and all the lives to be potentially saved " I said

" angel..ah. Angela. You never have to thank me" he said carefully.

" but I do, you know how things were for me funding wise"

"I do, but someone would have scooped you up, I'm just lucky I.. we did first" he then downed his drink.

" I am too" I responded, his eyes locked with mine. I'm not used to this side of him, he's normally so confident. I mean I've seen this side of him around me occasionally, but he seems vulnerable.

I polished off my drink and could feel the alcohol finally doing its work.

" we keep speaking about work, and at work we speak of other things" I said.

" maybe it's just this place, do you want to go somewhere else?" He asked.

" it's up to you! You lead " I replied trying to sound sure of myself.

Jack paid for us, I tried to argue but he just shook his head and we walked to the door and left. The cold air from earlier had warmed up a bit. But the warmth from our bodies being an inch apart at the shoulders was helping.

" I'm going to take you somewhere. Somewhere that I like to think no one else knows about" he said.

" but do you think you can hike a little?"

I stopped and put my hands on my hips. He stopped and turned to look at me.

" you trained me! What do you think?"

He laughed and rubbed the back of his neck.

" I think you will need some help" he replied with a smirk.

" ja? Will I!"

He turned and kept walking and I had to rush a bit to keep up with his longer strides.

" just testing you, you will be fine, but I can help if need be"

Such a typical Jack statement, he would say that a lot to me, always offering to help, not that he didn't think I could do something, I just rarely ask for assistance.

The treeline looming in the distance, as Jack kept walking towards it.

" are you taking me into the woods?" I asked.

" yep" he responded.

" but.."

" I promise it's worth it" he said.

" worth being eaten by a bear ?"

" I wouldn't let a bear eat you!" His voice was cracking with laughter.

" Swiss doctor gets eaten by bear , wouldn't be a good headline about overwatch" he added.

We stood at the edge of the forest and I paused. Are there bears here? Jack stopped and turned glancing at me

" Angela, I promise, no bears will eat you... besides it would look terrible on my record " he joked. I hesitated before stepping forward.

" here" he said as he held out his arm, I linked mine through his and we walked, the leaves crunching beneath our feet as we walked in the soft glow of the moonlight. This felt right, comfortable.

" oh wait stop..." he said quietly. My hair stood on end.

" don't move" he whispered into my ear, tickling my neck with his breath. What, what is happening, my eyes darting around.

" look up " he said softly.

" the stars ?!"

" yes?"

" I was panicking and it's the Stars?"

" well you should be panicking because right up there, is the great bear"

" what?!"

He laughed for a moment and stood behind me and pointed up at the sky.

" see... it's the Ursa Major which means..."

" the great bear" I sighed and shook my head.

" can you see it?"

" no, can you show me" I asked my heart was racing and he put his arms around me moving me into the proper position, just like he would in the range for practice. But this , this was different, he was gentle and his hands lingered on my hips and then on my shoulders before he tilted my head and pointed at some stars.

" I'm sorry, I just cannot seem to see it properly" I said.

A soft glow from his phone as he pulled it up to show me the specifics. I looked back up and gasped.

" I can see it!"

" does that help you forget I made bear jokes just to show you the stars?"

" well now that you reminded me... I feel you owe me"

" owe you what?"

" show me more"

His hands dropped from me as he sat down on a large boulder and motioned for me to join.

I sat next to him, our legs touching and his arm was behind me, just barely touching my back but it just being there was enough to fuel me.

" how do you know all of these?" My voice sounded thankfully calm.

" you really can see the stars on a farm, no city lights to destroy the view, just laying on the roof of the house all summer and sleeping under the stars" his eyes looked sad as he spoke.

" do you miss it?" I felt guilty the moment I said it. Of course he did, I never had something like that.

" I do.."

" I'm sorry that was out of line, I shouldn't have..."

" it's fine really. Besides if I was there I wouldn't get to be here with you angel"

Angel. I'm thankful for the cover of moonlight hiding my probably burning red cheeks.

" I apologize that was "

I turned towards him, his jaw was clenched and his eyes looked so sad. I offered a smile, an anxious smile.

" you don't need to apologize for that" I whispered. His eyes flickered from my eyes to my lips and he glanced away and began looking back at the stars. I leaned closer into him and pointed at another one near the great bear.

" that one is draco" he said softly.

I moved even closer, please don't mess this up, and I gently kissed his cheek. Instant regret washed over me until his hand stroked my cheek for a moment as he looked into my eyes I felt tense. All these months of pent up emotions. I think he feels the same... and his lips met mine, his hands on my neck while his thumbs stroked my cheek. My eyelashes brushed his face. I could hear our hearts pounding and a smile forming on his lips as he pulled away.

His nervous laughter filling the silence. I've never know him to be the nervous type like this. It was just a kiss, it could mean nothing to him. But at least we did it, finally all of those feelings on the surface, shouldn't that be enough? It appears it will have to be.

That's not enough! Rang through my head as I looked at him, just do it ange. I kissed him, this time it wasn't shy it was passionate, it was weeks of buildup coming out, his hands ran down my back pulling me closer. For the first time in a very very long time I felt alive. A kiss that felt like it was burning, a fire that just kept growing, he pulled me onto his lap and the passion and intensity grew. My hands locked behind his neck as I pulled him closer. My lungs felt like they were going to burst and we pulled away for a moment. Our foreheads pressed together while we panted for a moment before bursting into laughter together.

" thank you " he said after a moment.

" what? I've been wanting to-" I started and paused out of embarrassment. This is ridiculous you have feelings for him.

I felt his rough hand touch mine as he held it.

" is the doctor flustered?" He teased.

" shush, it's natural when adrenaline, dopamine and serotonin combine"

A smirk showed up on his face, " that is very scientific of you"

" scheisse I didn't mean, I meant that well yes there's a attraction ... reaction and it makes"

" Angela "

" and it's very natural whenever they combine and release endorphins which are also-"

" Angela"

" yes?"

" you don't have to scientifically explain why we kissed, but if you need too then that is fine, and rather adorable " his hand cupped my chin as he smiled at me, and I couldn't resist.

The inevitable crashing of our lips again, with one hand on my jaw and the other on my hip, I want to wrap myself around him, instead I just rested my hands on his chest and kissed deeper. A startled moan of pleasure escaped his lips as his hand pulled my hips closer. He pulled away for a moment, before kissing my neck, tingling in each area he kissed. The rush of my heartbeat pounding against his lips as I stifled a gasp of pleasure. I shouldn't hold back though. A kiss behind my ear did it, a moan shook my body and I could feel a pleased smirk against my neck, before he surprised me with another kiss, before switching back to my neck.

" I wondered if you felt the same way" I said taking a sharp inhale in when he kissed behind my ear again. Jack pulled away and looked at me.

" I thought it was obvious " he said with a face full of disbelief.

" well, not exactly "

" well I didn't know if you felt the same, or how you would react at all, you are nice to everyone all the time, getting a read on you is impossible" he retorted.

" oh..." I responded.

" that's what I admire about you, your ability to remain calm and kind no matter the situation is beyond admirable" he said a he stroked my hand.

I laughed and then stared at him for a moment.

" oh! You meant that "

" what? Do you not realize how much strength you have?"

" Pshht. You saw my meltdown at the range"

" that was hardly a meltdown, meltdown, that was you showing how involved you are to your own personal path" he flashed me a million dollar smile and I kissed him again, his very words inciting passion deep within. His understanding, he's always been so understanding with me. Realizing all the little signs that had been there. My blood pounding through me, I could feel the heat rising off our bodies in the cold night. This felt right, for once, since losing my parents I feel alive again. My body started shaking from adrenaline.

" hey are you okay?" He whispered, I nodded and kissed him.

" are you sure you are okay?"

" I'm fine, I'm just... I'm happy " I could feel tears prick the corners of my eyes as a smile was etched on my face.

He kissed my forehead so softly and so full of compassion.

" I'm happy too" he murmured. A buzzing noise broke the moment. My phone, ugh.

Pulling it out and looking at the alert.

" ech. Of course "

" what?"

" it appears Torbjorn has finally gotten around to repairing the caduceus, but he needs me to double check the functioning of the nanites" I sighed.

He looked at his own phone.

" a bit late for him to be working on that..."

" yes but he has been busy lately and this will get me back out in the field again " I said.

Jack sighed and brushed a stray hair away from my face.

" we should probably be heading back anyway" he grumbled as he stood up. As I stood I felt myself leaning towards him, wrapping my arms around him and resting my head against his chest.

" another minute" I replied.

I felt an arm rest on my shoulder and one on my waist.

We stood in silence for a moment.

" this changes a lot of things you know" he simply stated. I nodded in response, I don't know how he wants to handle this. He basically recruited me, but I'm the head of the lab and he's probably going to be promoted higher any day now.

" but we can talk more about that another night" he said as he released his grip, his hand reaching for mine as we paced our fingers together and headed towards the forests edge.

We stopped for a moment and we kissed freely under the cover of darkness.

" sorry I just had to do that before well... you know"

" of course" I smiled as we linked arms and walked back to the base. Careful to avoid anyone we knew.

" you head in first, okay?" He asked.

" okay, but Jack?"

" yeah?"

My eyes glanced around for anyone looking, we were out of the cameras view and I kissed his cheek before saying goodnight and taking off. My boots clicked on the sidewalk as I slid my access card into the panel. Tonight changes everything, a smile that couldn't be erased as I walked into the building.

 **A/N: there it is. I completely rewrote it, I'm not sure if I will re-write other parts. This changes nothing to the original story, except I removed a reference to Lena, she wasn't around during this time and I messed it up in here before. I truly am thankful, whether you are reading this for the first time ( HELLO!) or for the second time ( thank you thank you!)**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: once again, i own nothing.**

Angela stirred in her sleep, Ana pulled the covers that had fallen and kissed her forehand. "you will be alright" she said.

It was late in the day when Angela finally woke up. She felt empty, but Lena's soft voice was a comfort.

"love, it's going to be alright, it will be, you are stronger than you will ever know, you are our doctor" she comforted her. Angela smiled and motioned for her to come closer.

"watchu need?, do you need Ana to come?"

"no... i just, can you join me for a minute?"

Lena carefully hopped into the hospital bed with her. Angela curled into her arms "thank you" she whispered. Lena stroked her hair.

"you never need to thank me, it's what friends are for" she said patting Angela's back.

"I'm so sorry... i failed all of you"

"no, no... none of that, you've saved us all countless times, this..this is nothing" she reassured her blonde friend. "everyone's going to be so happy to see you... "

Angela bit her lip "he's gone isn't he?"

"no sign of him, the building is destroyed, we have footage of them entering, but not leaving, an explosion destroyed the area they were last seen in"

"any idea what happened?"

"no more ideas than you have... everything's uncertain right now... i don't know how much you want to know"

"everything" stated Angela.

"I'll get Winston"

"no... stay a bit longer please"

Lena smiled and pulled her friend closer "you got it".

Ana was walking by the room to check on Angela when she heard voices coming from the room, she smiled, and softly knocked.

"who is it?" chirped Lena.

"who else would it be?" replied Ana "might i come in?"

"of course" said Angela.

Ana walked into the room, and saw the two cuddled on the bed.

"you are more than welcome to join" said Lena, making room for Ana. Ana happily sat in the bed, on Angela's other side, stroking her hair.

"how are you feeling?" she said.

"exhausted, but ready to be briefed on the situation, now i just want to know what the next moves are, and any more casualties" said Angela, feeling more like her normal self.

" well, you were awfully close to the scene when it happened, walking into your office. if you don't remember, you suffered a head injury or so Winston says, but Winston grabbed you in time before the building started to collapse, so far, besides the the two we suspect we haven't found anyone else" Ana stated.

"is the medical wing completely gone?" said Angela, thinking of the loss of research, supplies and her Valkyrie suit.

" no, only parts of it, when you feel up to it i will take you to it, they are guarding the remains of the structure so no others may enter and pillage"

"thank you Ana"... she meant it, she needed to find out the exact loss, sure her research could eventually be replaceable, but the time lost to rebuild her designs... would mean more lives lost.

At this point Winston heard voices coming from the room as well, and as he padded towards the door to knock, Angela called out "come in Winston".

He smiled, and breathed a sigh of relief "coming!" he replied, entering the room to see the women piled in the bed.

"it's so good to have you back" he said, thinking of all she probably was told, her face looked weary but there was a small smile indicating the doctor was ready for what needed to be done. "I'll bet the rest of the team will be thrilled to see you, if you feel up to it?" he asked.

Angela smiled brightly, "yes, of course".

Winston padded out of the room to inform Jesse, Reinhardt and Torbjorn.

"you are the good news we all needed" Lena gushed squeezing her friend's hand.

Jesse entered the room, and paused standing in the doorway at the site "well don't you all look as snug as bugs in a rug"

"what does that even mean?!" laughed Lena, opening her arms and indicating to join. He flung his hat into the corner and bounced onto the bed. Angela winced in pain for a moment but welcomed his gentle mussing of her hair. Torbjorn was shouting "let me at her! lemme at 'er!" but reinhardt grabbed him by his back "anymore weight and they will collapse the bed!"

"speak fer yerself!" retorted Torbjorn, he decided to plop himself in the chair that Lena had been previously sitting in.

"it's good to have you back doc' " said reinhardt smiling. Winston padded back in, standing in the doorway and enjoying the moment, who knows how long overwatch would remain, their name now publicly being destroyed. Everyone was anxious, worried and they were now being seen as criminals instead of heroes, but nothing was set in stone yet, some people still believed in what overwatch stood for. But cleaning up the internal crisis would be a mess. But for now, he would enjoy this moment of having their guardian angel back. Losing Reyes and Morrison was hard enough, then Gerard and Amelie before them.

The group huddled together, enjoying the moments that they had. And as night fell, one by one they left the room, but Ana and Winston remained.

Angela had been dreading this moment, speaking of how she went against overwatch's rules, had a secret relationship and was now carrying the dead hero's child. She wanted everything to go away and to return to her research and work. Nanobiologly wouldn't figure itself out, so many more lives to save.

"my darling, we know, and as you know, i had Fareeha and worked with overwatch, and still do" Ana warmly said, patting her arm.

" it's not any of our business, but we are here for whatever you decide you want to do, obviously you will not be allowed in the field anymore, given your current condition... but if you want this to remain a secret, it will stay with us...and Lena, but she finds out everything Anyways." stated Winston with a slight chuckle.

"thank you, i would like to return to my work, i have more lives to save, and more things to get done... i don't know what to do"

"my dear, we will figure it out, i know of many places that will gladly watch over children for you" she winked. "Afterall, i never let it stop me" .

"thank you, really. i just don't think i could possibly handle being a mother, when i already have so many people who need me"

"understood" said Ana "you should get some rest now"

Angela nodded, all of this could be discussed further in the morning and curled into her pillows.

" do you need anything to assist you in sleep?"

"no i should be fine, thank you, for everything"

" it's nothing" Ana said kissing her forehead and leaving the room.

"i hate to be a nuisance, but i will be needing some information from you tomorrow regarding Gabe and jack" said Winston.

"i know, goodnight Winston"

"good night doctor" he said patting her head and leaving.

Her entire body felt heavy ' i know what i have to do, had it have been us together it would have been fine, but alone.. no. i still have too much to accomplish, no child would want to be raised in a selfish household... ' she thought guiltily. Tears filled her eyes, ' first amelie...then Gerard... now Reyes and Morrison...who else will be next in this stupid divide?' as nightmares clouded her head. A dark shadowy figure appeared, no matter how many times she woke up, she kept seeing a dark shadowy figure made of dark mist.

 **A/N: thank you so much if you are still reading, it means so much to me!**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: Shorter one!**

The light stung, her head still hurt she hardly remembered what happened during the building explosion, but ' the grief must have made me forget all the pain, and now it's here... I'll need to remember to grab something for this later'.

She got up, left the room, smiling at her team that usually assisted her with surgery, there were so few remaining now, the ones who stuck behind were fiercely loyal, but today they looked exhausted, worried and uncertain.

She cautiously waved and muttered "i just need to go to my real room... ", being apart of overwatch meant many different places and many different rooms to call your own around the world. She always kept a few staples at each place, yoga pants, leggings, two dresses, and two comfortable t shirts. She slipped out of her hospital clothes and into the shower. Suddenly smelling something familiar, his usual body wash, filled up the shower, months back they had to stay at this facility. There was worry that an uprising against overwatch would happen, so they moved to the lesser used smaller facility. She breathed in the scent, and sank down to the floor, softly crying.

'get it together ange, he would want you to continue fighting, not to cry for things you cannot change. but no one will die on my watch..and make sure of it' she thought as she slid into her yoga pants and comfy shirt. Pulling her hair into a messy bun instead of usual pony tail, she knew she where she wanted to go, and she did not want to attract attention. She slid into her flats and walked to the main area.

' welllll looks like Lena and Jesse are getting rather close' she smiled, as she watched him point out there was icing on her nose. Suddenly Jesse looked over "well it's about time" he said jokingly.

" lookit you! up and about! " squealed Lena rushing over for a hug. "how's ya doin' today?!" she exclaimed excitedly. Thrilled to have her friend vertical and looking more like herself.

"my head hurts, but eh... i want to get back to work" Angela chirped. "and.. go over to the building".

Jesse inhaled and looked down, "you sure you are ready for that?" he asked.

" i know perfectly well what i am capable of, and what i am not ready for, and this i am ready for. I cannot sit idly and let more people die because of my own errors" she angrily replied, ' i don't know why i barked at him like that, he's just looking out for my wellbeing'

He just put his hat on, gave her a shoulder squeeze, as he left the room he looked at Lena and gave a knowing nod. He had a lot on his mind today too, the word of overwatch being under scrutiny, they might be considered a criminal organization. He'd already belonged to one, and wasn't in the mood to be apart of another. If it wasn't for Lena he would have been gone by now.

"well... i guess I'll go find Ana now.."uttered Angela, clearly upset with herself for snapping at Jesse.

"she's going over plans with Winston, something about Talon.." said Lena, nobody wanted to address the growing threat Talon had become, after taking Amelie and killing her own husband, everyone was quite uneasy.

"ah... then ..i guess i can go alone?"

"naw... i could probably swing it" said Lena, " not much else to do around here today Anyways" .

Angela worried ' i cannot possibly bring her into this mess, i just need to see for myself... but i shouldn't go alone either'.

She walked quickly to keep up with Lena's pace. A transport arrived to shuttle them to the location. Angela wasn't prepared for what she saw, the large building that held so many historical meetings, breakthroughs and late night confessionals, a shell.

Lena carefully eyed her friend, and grabbed her hand. The driver showed ID to the gate keeper, and in they went, pulling up to the front. Trying to hide her tears from her worse for wear friend she gulped and muttered something about smoke always making her eyes water.

Angela stood out of the car, holding onto Lena's hand for support. She knew somewhere deep within the rubble was the body of Jack. Her heart dropped and she swallowed her tears. Carefully stepping along to the back entrance of the medical wing. Something felt wrong, besides the obvious, it felt like she wasn't remembering everything correctly, walking through the shell of a door frame and into the medical area. Her office was missing part of a wall, but her desk was intact, a guard handed Lena a box, the rest could be grabbed later.

She dug through her desk, grabbing her most recent studies of revival, but part was missing, and a few pages bore slight claw marks. 'that's...strange...' she thought putting them into the box, maybe the camera's picked up on something, anything. The objects ontop of her desk covered in ash, but still visible, all of her framed photographs still there but one, her heart raced, it was her favorite, the small group of the part of the team, a few days after being asked to join Winston snapped a photo of her, jack, Gabe and Ana. It was gone, she searched the area around the desk. " has anyone been in here?" she frantically asked.

"uh, well. they did find you in here... and people are patrolling so there's a chance"

She swore under her breath in German, and grabbed some more documents. Her laptop was luckily at her actual apartment, she had rented one for some more privacy from everything to study away from the rest, it was a studio, but it had a bed and couch. It was the place she and jack left from the day of the went into the cabinets, her suit was fine, but her caduceus was nowhere to be found, she hoped Winston had it.

"i guess to the rooms" she muttered, growing increasingly weary.

"we don't have to do that yet" said Lena " there will always been people packing up what remains.. besides... we don't know how safe it is in there"

She sighed heavily. "you are right... but we can try?"

"sure..."

Angela handed her box to one of the guards who assured her it would be put in the transport. They carefully walked through the shell, the front of the building and her medical wing took the hardest hit, the front wasn't even there anymore, just a pile of rubble. A make shift tomb was more like it... somewhere in there was the ashes of him... them.

They arrived at the living quarters, or apartments as they called them. They had their own kitchens in this building, but usually they opted for the communal one. Angela pulled out her key but the door was already unlocked.

"weird..."

"could have been from the explosion?" suggested Lena pushing on her own door, which remained locked.

She never kept much here, the flat held her more personal items, including photographs from their secret trips, her nicer clothes etc. More of her notes were missing.

"Lena... we should go, i need to talk to Winston" she said urgently.

"no problem love" .

After returning, she learned that Winston was still in meetings. 'no matter, i can piece together what I'm missing, and start from there'. Her notes, her precious notes.. ' why did i keep them in the lab that day?!' . But she knew why, she was working diligently on her resurrection process, and was in the final stages to begin trials... but now... now who knows what would happen. Her phone buzzed

"Doctor, we need to speak with you, NOW" read a text from Winston.

 **A/N: Thanks for reading! (The update was just to switch Swedish to German, since i messed that up! so sorry)**


	7. Chapter 7

Maybe they found them, maybe they are okay... maybe just maybe everything will be okay. i couldn't walk faster if i tried. Adrenaline running through my veins. I approached the main meeting room, and slowed my pace and tidied my hair slightly. There's only so much i can do without a brush. I knocked on the large doors, my heart is probably pounding louder than this.

The doors swung open, in sat Winston, with a few people i hadn't seen before, or at least that i hadn't formally met, i usually wasn't involved in the meetings, just the lab, briefing people on patients and such.

"Dr. Ziegler we need to talk to you about an experiment you have been working on"

Now i know they could hear my heart...

" It appears on the morning of the building collapse you were in the building? "

"yes..."

"where?"

"in my lab" now i really was anxious, what had happened... what couldn't i remember.

" , we are under the impression, according to footage, that you may have experimented on one Gabriel Reyes"

This cannot be happening, he died, i... an image of a bloody Reyes came flooding into my brain. No...No... No...

"i don't... i don't remember"

" , we have photographic and video footage of you in possession of your..." The man with sharp menacing eyes looked down as his file " caduceus".

"okay?"

" we know about the work you were trying to accomplish, resurrection..."

"well yes, I'm a doctor and my goal is to save lives..."

"Now...Doctor, Gabriel Reyes is now a wanted man, he would have been tried for corrupt conduct and murder of one John Morrison".

How...why... but.

"but... but... they had their issues, but I'm certain he wouldn't have tried to kill Ja-... Commander Morrison"

"Given what evidence we have, we cannot try you for anything, all we are looking for is some answers" he stated plainly, staring into my very core.

" Honestly, i don't remember, and if i don't remember i doubt i would have done it"

"are you saying that you, a doctor, who previously stated her goal is to save lives, and bring them back... wouldn't have resurrected a dying man, if given the chance?"

" i mean, i would, but it is experimental.." what were they trying to accuse me of being in cahoots with Reyes? this situation was getting more ridiculous.

"We are just looking for answers, but it seems you have none, I'll bid you both good day, and I'm sure we will be seeing more of each other in the next few weeks" he said, getting up and motioning the others to follow.

I stared at Winston, he had been silent this entire time, surely he would have known or have seen the footage.

The door slowly shut, my mind racing with every thought.

" Winston... i swear i don't remember"

" Angela... you were found gripping your Caduceus.. the one with the modifications... no rubble had fallen on your head, it appears you had been knocked out... they don't have much footage to prove anything, they are just grasping for whatever they can find. but they do have this" he stated, pulling up a grainy still from a video, i was crouching on the ground with my caduceus pointed at something. He clicked the next image that could be found in the broken and grainy footage, my entire body looking full of light, and then the next image was me laying in a pile. unconscious.

"... i mean, maybe?... i keep having dreams of smoke, and haze" it felt good to get that off my chest, and know that my dreams might actually have a hint of reality to them.

"Angela, we could spend all day trying to figure out what happened, but the fact of the matter is , there are still no bodies, or even fragments of remains... if you used this technology and it worked... it would be outstanding, but also mean that a wanted man is now on the loose... " he frowned.

"i know...i know... "

"however, if you want to experiment on some dead mice later... we could see if it works?"

" you have my caduceus?!"

"yes, we can begin testing later tonight, but for now i need to make a few more calls" he removed his glasses and rubbed his temples. Worry grew on his face, i reached out and patted his hand.

"thank you... thank you for approving the experiment" there was a note of sincere happiness, i needed some good news, i needed to know all my practices weren't in vain.

" I'll message you when we are ready, thank you ange" said Winston, putting back on his glasses and getting up to go to his office, no doubt a long day in store.

I followed him out the door, turning at a different hallway to go through my research, i needed to have my hypothesis, process and theories perfectly clear, this was to be used for good, not evil.


	8. Chapter 8

I was sitting around, furiously writing in my notes that had gone missing, trying to recall as many things as i could from what remained of my notes. Luckily most of it was duplicates, i had a bad habit of not keeping as neat of a work space as i should have, Jack would notoriously "lecture" me about it. Jack... that name kept bringing up emotions, memories and the need to collapse into his arms at the end of a stressful day. No matter how horrible of a day he had, he would bring me into his arms, and make me just feel more secure. Now the emptiness surrounded me. I dove back into my notes, ticking off what had previously worked and what didn't. I never tried it on anything before, so what would have made me try it on that day? what would have convinced me. I wouldn't have let anyone die on my watch, but the uncertainty of the results would have, should have, held me back. Then again...had it have been Jack dead at my feet i would have done anything, anything to bring him back.

Focus... focus... i kept reminding myself, at this point nothing could reanimate ashes. He won't be coming back, there is no way... but Reyes... maybe he was still out there. Maybe it's all my fault, i should have listened more to what Jack was saying about him, about all the things that led to his recent suspicions and distress. Many nights at the flat i would wake up to find him pacing, the moonlight showing nothing with worry lines, and maybe even fear. He seemed to fear nothing though... except... no... no... don't think about that mission. But the memories plagued my mind, i should have reported it, it was a simple operation, get in, grab the gear and hopefully interrupt Talons growing transports. It was me, commander Morrison, Jesse and Ana. Lena was there for back up, and survey from the aircraft, to jump in if needed with Ana. She finally had developed a Biotec field that could last longer, and that was incredibly lucky for jack to be carrying on the mission. I had been following behind Jesse and Jack, jack decided to run ahead and check out some mini explosions happening off the side of the transport. Deep in a valley, i had stayed back with Jesse as instructed until it was clear. But Jesse, being Jesse charged off in another direction, my guardian angel mode was usually stable, but on that day it faltered. I saw something explode closer to jack, and it seemed like Jesse was more than capable to handle two to three men on his own without a damage increase. I had honed in on jack and was on flight course, but one wing was malfunctioning, stumbling into another area, a couple yards from Jack but hidden. My ankle twisted slightly, and i figured i would use my healing to restore it, but as i looked up i saw a shadow on the cliffs, a shot was fired at me, and i grabbed my pistol, i hate that thing, I'm a doctor, I'm a pacifist, but if my life is in danger and my team is in danger i will shoot if necessary. I fired off a warning shot, shocked that the finial shot had missed me. My heart beat was pounding, and i scrambled to find some sort of shelter. " someone is trying to shoot me, my wing malfunctioned, I'm about forty yards south of Morrison, in a rock ledge" i stated into my comm.

"I'm kinda surrounded at the moment, but hiding in a cave off the high ridge, i hear the copter, Ana see if you can pick them off" said Jesse over the comm.

Another shot barely missed me, i tried firing back in the direction. A familiar figure in the horizon stepped out, spoke to the one who was shooting at me, giving me time to climb around the ledge hopefully placing me closer to Jack. It gnawed on me, i knew that build, i know that build... i climbed a little lower, a bunch of rock barreling towards me, when i saw Jack's figure nearby, i honed in on him, please work.. please work... my wings sputtered but gave me a boost to shelter, a few yards from him, he sprinted towards me, pulling me into a cave and pressing me against a wall. "how many?" he said, eyeing me frantically for signs of blood. " ange are you hurt?"

"i took out the three" said Ana's voice on the comm. "Jesse you can come out now, grab what you can, we need to leave immediately"

Jack looked into my eyes and repeated "are you hurt.. can you walk?"

"I'm fine" i said, wanting nothing more than to curl into his arms. But wanting to flee to safety at the same time.

"follow me" he said, he gave Ana our location on the comm.

"where the fuck is Reyes? " he muttered, Blackwatch was supposed to assist in the mission as backup. With Jack recently in command of overwatch and Reyes at Blackwatch, this mission they agreed to join him on, to get Jesse working under both groups, and to extract the items for overwatch. It was rare the two worked together, but Reyes was the one who came up with the plan... and now that plan was shattered. It couldn't have gone worse if they tried.

" Hang tight, we got Jesse, but more are coming, stay where you are, or go further underground" stated Ana, " I'm calling it in" she added.

Jack had a look of ferocity on his face, "follow me" he said. i followed, as usual, as we walked further and further. sounds of gunshots above us.

"what is happening up there?" grumbled jack into his comm.

" about twenty soldiers, all swarming the area, should i call in for backup? "

"Yes, i see light up ahead, don't worry about us. get yourselves to safety, tell me your location of rest, and pull out. wait for my signal but we might go dark for a bit"

"do what you must, I'll keep you updated regardless"

He sighed, and looked around, gunfire continued. But in the distance they heard thundering footsteps entering the opposite side of the cave.

"shit. " he uttered softly. He motioned that he was going to look out our only exit and check. He held his hand behind him in a simple "WAIT" hand gesture. Then slowly curled his fingers motioning me to follow. We crept alongside the outside of the cave, and crept into the next one. All we could do was hope that he remembered the plans of the caverns correctly, but who was i kidding, this was jack, he memorized the directions and paths out of a simple trip to the store... always knew an exit, and if he didn't then he knew he could lose a member of his team. Slowly we crept through the next cave, but footsteps approached all above us, some coming from behind.

"Ana... we are in the northeast bear cave, coming up toward the cliffs, if you can, we could really use some assistance" he said.

I rarely ever heard the sound of fear in his voice, only on some missions were i was corned into a tight spot, but he always got me out... but this time he didn't sound so certain.

"i know you hate it, but I'm going to need you to have your pistol ready" he said his voice barely above a whisper.

"and Ana... where the fuck is Reyes?" he stated in an angry whisper.

" I've been around during this whole operation" came the angry voice of Reyes. "it's not my fault if you got cornered commander" he spat out.

My grip tightened on the pistol, we were surrounded, but gasps of death were heard as well. Chopper noises whirred above them and the sound of Jesse's revolver. Shots whizzed by my ears, and jack let off a helix, i tucked down, and started firing, Suddenly no sounds in the cavern, "come on" uttered jack, sprinting towards the cave entrance. I followed behind, trying to keep up, we heard Jesse taunting out at anyone within shouting distance. a shot whirred by my ear and jack gasped, turning and firing behind me. i ducked down, and heard death moans. He motioned at me to hurry up, tucked my pistol into it's holster and shot a beam of healing into him, it was the most i could do at the moment. We ran into the daylight, and Jesse was standing there motioning us to run, we darted in various patterns, a ladder shot down, Jesse scurried up first, then me, then jack.

I collapsed on the floor catching my breath, and trying to steady my heartbeat. Ana patted my head, and motioned for the pilot to move.

" Reyes, where the fuck are you" said jack.

"back at the blackwatch base... why? what took you so long?" toyed Reyes.

"you weren't supposed to pull out until all of us did..." said jack.

"my mistake, i figured you made it out" replied Reyes cockily.

"did it sound like we did?"

"now calm down soldier boy, i don't work for you"

" we will talk later" said jack coldly.

By this point i had captured my breathing to normal, and was inspecting what Jesse called a "snake bite" it was nothing major, a small wound that my caduceus fixed. I turned my attention to Jack.

" where does it hurt?" i asked trying not to sound completely worried.

" it can wait till we get back" he sighed, leaning back into his seat and rubbing his temples with his good arm.

As we landed, i made sure the first thing he did was come to the medical bay.

I helped him remove his shirt, amazing that in the past years, him shirtless could still make my knees shake, but the wound wasn't as bad as i thought. The exit wound was clean, too clean... Caduceus was good, but not a miracle worker. Which led me to another thought, the familiar figure on the cliffs, the very clean exit wound... I'd seen a wound like this before, but only one type of gun does it... and those aren't used by talon...

I brushed the thought out of my head, no sense causing a rift on a hunch. I patched him up.

"thanks ange" said jack sighing.

" just let me check one thing" i said leaning closer " studio tonight?"

"if i can, i now have to do a full report on the failure of a mission we just had..stay on base, I'll message you if i can get away".

i nodded, i hated when he was this upset, which was his mood lately, but he never took it out on me, instead he would curl next to me, and whisper nothing but sweet things into my ears, about how his life on the farm would have been worth it if he had an angel like me. but i knew that he was a soldier, not a farmer. However, it was comforting to hear.

He squeezed my hand as he left, shoulders slumped, knowing the next hours would be filled with questioning and going over the failures of the mission.

Suddenly my stomach swelled in a wave of nausea, the usual remedy i used must have been wearing off. Racing over to the sink and vomiting. I rinsed off, and walked to my room, i couldn't concentrate on much of anything for the evening, so instead of wasting time in my office, i took a long bath, in my usual essential oils, toweled off and changed into my sweats and shirt. I noticed i forgot my favorite tea in the main cafe, padding out softly, i turned the corner bumping into Reyes.

He smiled wickedly at me, not his usual trickster grin, this one was different. i couldn't shake it. "heard your wings got stuck today... looks like you have more work to do... don't want any fallen angels at overwatch now do we?" he looked into my eyes and curled a strand of my hair around his finger, giving it a slight tug.

"what do you need?"

"nothing just wanted you to know... you better get back to work on those"

then i felt it again, the sudden wave of nausea overtake me. i backed up quickly as he laughed. I threw up into the closest trashcan i could find.

"geez ange... didn't mean to upset you" he joked.

Another wave, and another retch, my body violently shaking.

"good bye Gabe" i said after wiping my mouth.

"oh I'm sure you'll be seeing more of me" he laughed, continuing to walk towards the meeting room. I heard something get knocked off the shelf in the cafe, shit... someone must have overheard that. Lena scooped up the snacks she was carrying, "I'm just... so...yeah!" she said stuttering and half laughing.

"night ange!" she called running off. Normally that would be weird, but lately she had also been sneaking around, i grabbed my favorite tea and headed back to my room, rinsed out my mouth and made a kettle of hot water. When it was ready i poured myself a cup of tea. Wishing that my phone would ring, i curled up on my bed, sipping tea and wondering how the meetings were going, and if i would hear from jack, i desperately wanted to tuck myself into his arms, lose myself in his lips, and drift off to sleep. But no messages came, but sleep did.

Turning over and realizing i was in my room alone was an empty feeling, but when you are trying to keep things quiet you get used to it. Stumbling into the bathroom as my nausea started back up, why weren't the patches working? never mind, more important things than my nausea to deal with. I curled into a warm bath, and took care to remove all tangles, and finally put my hair up nicely again. I had to work on my wings again, there's no way i would be allowed in the field again without them properly functioning. Hell, i could be the reason the mission failed in the first place... no... something wasn't right. I just didn't want to stir up anything. Putting on some light makeup and getting dress, just more more comfortable, "i don't think I'll be repairing any grave injuries" attire. Oh, i should probably eat... but my cupboards just have crackers, but i don't feel like facing the group. The choice was obvious, crackers it is. Making some fresh tea, and carrying my mug to the lab.

I set the wings on the table and just stared, i don't even know where to begin with these. The mission was all my fault, and maybe I'm not meant to be out there anymore Anyways. "ughhhh" shoving my face into my hands. These aren't even mine to fix, Winston and Torbjorn helped me make them.. why am i even trying. I'll just go find one of them. It was still early, so the cafe wouldn't be out of the question. Heading towards the cafe i almost slam face first into Jesse.

"woah there... what's the hurry?" he asked, placing his hands on my shoulders to steady me.

"nothing, i just need to find Winston or Torbjorn..."

"ah, well i believe Winston is still in meetings, and who knows where Torbjorn is?"

"i just, i really need them for my wings, wait what.. still?!"

"yeah, strange things are afloat in case you don't remember the mission?"

who was he to ask? he wasn't the one cornered multiple times, going against his beliefs and shooting at people, he just shot to shoot.

" of course i remember the mission, how couldn't i? that's why i need to repair the wings"

"ah, might want to ease up on the urgency, looks like no one is going out for a while...so relax"

"Great, yeah. fine. have a good day" i retorted, immediately i felt bad, but walking away made me feel slightly more at ease. As i headed towards the main meeting room, hoping that maybe they were letting doors swung open and Ana walked out, inside i could see Jack. His jaw was hard set as if he had been holding back screaming for the past hours. Winston looked solemn and a few other people she hadn't met were pouring over something on the table. The doors closed. Feeling strangely empty i paced back to the lab, i had resurrection to work on.

Hours passed and while i discovered a few new adjustments i needed to make, something still felt uneasy. The feeling of uncertainty, the run in with Gabe and the sinking feeling that that wasn't the first time i had physically seen him that day. My stomach growled, it had been over seven hours since had the stale crackers. Maybe Torbjorn's back, and i can finally work on these winged monsters. Sliding my notes into my bag to work on in solitude later if he couldn't be found. My phone buzzed, the message from Jack with no words, or symbols, just blank. I hate secrecy. Usually that meant stay where you are, as much as i would like to pretend my schedule isn't the most boring and by the clock schedule i am predictable. Stepping out of the lab and into the medical bay area i spy his weary face coming towards me. If i could openly hug him longer than a second or a side hug i would.

" shoulders acting up" he said sleepily.

"well i can take a look at it"

"no need, walk with me?"

"jack, if your shoulder is acting up yet again i need to look at it"

"walk. with. me" he stated. clearly tired.

"fine" i followed as he led the way. The hallways were vacant, and we walked to his room. Despite sneaking around, nobody ever found going into rooms suspicious since they were like little flats. He opened the door and i slid in quickly. He came in and shut the door, closing his eyes for a moment, motioning for me.

"i don't think i can make it to the couch"

" oh no... not the big strong commander" i teasingly said, curling under his arm and walking him to the couch. He collapsed in a thud pulling me with him. He laid on his back and pulled me onto his chest, half curled into his chest and arm. I kissed his cheek, and he pulled me closer.

His stomach lightly rumbled, "ice cream?" i asked,

"yes... but don't get up" he pleaded.

"but my love, i must, if you want to eat" i said kissing his cheek, he tiredly flung an arm motioning me that it was fine. I carefully got up and grabbed spoons and a carton of butter pecan, for some reason our current flavor of choice. I fit myself back on the couch, into the area of his back that didn't touch the back of it. Opening the container and driving in a spoon. Saving the flavor. He moaned "where is mine?"

"you know how to eat!"

"but you are my doctor" he said with charm.

I swore softly in German and held out a spoonful. near his mouth but apparently not close enough.

"come on jack... just a spooooonful of sugar helps zee medicine go down"

"agh, fine, I'll feed myself" he relented, sitting up and grabbing a spoonful. I stroked his hair with a free hand. This felt wonderful, it was a normal ritual after a hard day, but tonight he seemed more troubled. His slight joking was a good sign, but part of me wondered if he was doing it on my account, instead of how he was truly feeling.

He shoved a few more spoonfuls into his mouth. Resting his chin on my head.

"you need sleep my love" i said kissing his cheek. He wrapped his arm around me, cradling my chin in his hand, and pulling my face up to his, he kissed me, the warmth and the cold colliding. Despite how tired he was he had this ferocity about him. He laid back pulling me on top of him, My pencil skirt restricting me from straddling, he started to kiss down my neck, one hand lingering under my shirt. "we can't do this here"

"well i can't leave here for the next 24 hours" he said while removing my shirt.

i leaned down kissing him, hands buried in his hair, his hands wandered from my back to my ass, carefully unzipping the skirt and pushing it down. I kicked off the rest of it, getting lost in his kisses and warmth. Suddenly something buzzed , and i slipped off the couch, causing my right hand to land into the ice cream. Fuck.

He was looking down at me, and slightly laughing, then full on roaring.

"this really isn't that funny..."

"when you've had a day like mine, this is gold" he said between laughs.

i searched for the source of the buzzing, finding my phone, the message read "torb was working on something, and he kinda smashed his hand in...need a doc" .

I read the message outloud, and a picture came through, of a very very purple hand.

Jack sighed and grabbed my hand, licking the ice cream off of it "oh gross! theres spoons in the ice cream" i shuddered, thinking of all the germs hands smiled and nodded, "eh i should get some rest, morning run?"

"i thought you weren't allowed to leave..."

"ah, i just said that, i didn't feel like moving"

"ugh" i pulled on my shirt, and skirt. Pulling my hair out of the messy ponytail it was in and shaking it out, and putting it into a messy bun instead. I started towards the door when he uttered a small "Hey", turning, and putting on my flats "sorry sorry". dashing over to him and hugging him tightly.

"i love you angel" he said kissing my forehead "now go fix that hideous hand of his, we need your wings fixed afterall"

I started to open the door when i heard Gabe's thundering laughter, i don't think I've ever shut a door harder. Jack shot me a confused look, "it's nothing... just. some people in the hall.. i didn't want to get caught er.."

He nodded sleepily, "get some rest, please" i asked softly. There was some mutter of a yes and i carefully opened the door and crept out.

Making my way over to the medical bay and there he is again, this time with two other blackwatch members. make yourself look busy, something anything. I yanked out my phone and pretended to be inspecting Torbjorn's injury,i was so close to the medical bay ..if i could just.

" hey there doc"

"hi" i muttered back increasing my speed.

"now what's the rush?"

"i have a patient"

" be careful, we wouldn't want to see you fall" he laughed, the two people with him joined in, it sounded sinister, and the silhouettes looked so familiar.

I'm just tired, I'm just tired and seeing things, there is no way that Gabe would have ambushed us, none...

Stepping into the bay, and hearing torbjorn flirt with my medical team was just what i needed...

But the thoughts of the future nagged at me.

(end of memory)

' this should be everything i need to convince him' but worry plagued my thoughts, i should have mentioned something, i should have said something... and now why would i have revived Gabe instead of Jack, unless... there was nothing left of Jack, if Gabe's intent was to get rid of Jack, it had worked. Not tears again, come on, you are stronger than this.

Buzzing on the table.

"Angela?"

"yes"

"we are ready for you" said Winston.

 **A/N: a little bit of a longer one, let me know if you like longer or shorter chapters! thanks for reading!**

 **Updated to switch Swedish to German.**


	9. Chapter 9

I quickly stuffed all my research into my bag. I will perfect this, after all Genji was near death when we found him, and he's now functioning as far as i can tell. He hadn't been by in months, something to do with attacks in Hanamura, He would be in contact if anything needed work done. Walking into the lab and Winston looking down at me.

" we wanted to start with bugs first" he confessed.

"not a problem" wincing as he killed a large cockroach, and handed me my Caduceus.

"now show me how it works..."

"well, i place my hand down on this part, and i say ' heroes never die' and then the revive should happen" Explaining my theories out loud always sounded stupid, but on paper the methods and science were soundproof, as far as i could tell.

"you see, here's the basic plan, and how the nanotech works... instead of just restoring hands, and feet... now it can restore full life form when fully increased in function..." laying out the plans, and indicating the processes.

Winston nodded. "well, give it a try"

i could feel my heart in my ears, squeezing the trigger like button and shouting "heroes never die" a gold light appeared, the partially squished bug curled up. "ugh, i guess there's a few more steps i need to consider, and this is just a bug aftera-oh!" The bug uncurled, but part of it vanished, "what the..." mist followed it.

"Doctor... what is that? " asked Winston

"i... i honestly don't know what i did... " grabbing a jar and ensnaring the bug inside.

"i think it's safe to say, we will not be taking that version into the field anytime soon"

" i understand, I'll get back to work" sealing the jar and studying the effects it had on the bug were a priority. It felt good to be working again, and to have the support backing it. A pat was felt on my shoulder

"thanks Winston"

"it's been a pleasure, keep me updated" he said while leaving.

Digging through my desk i found a new small notepad, " Cockroach A" was what i decided to title it. Quickly making my first observations on the bug. It's neither living, nor dead, if i used this on a person... oh god... no. No. This is for saving lives Angela, there's going to be failures, but the only true failure is death, now.. back to work!

Turning down the cells, and increasing the nanobots should work better than before, and shouldn't turn into the undead... but this is just another hope, I'll need to run it by Winston later. What time is it? The clock showed 11:30 pm... shit. Breakthroughs always made me lose track of time and everything. Flinging my notes into my bag and hurrying off to grab something to eat, probably just an apple, and tea for later. Sleep would be a welcomed thing.

For the next three months, most of my time was spent in my lab, working on the resurrection. Dealing with Ana's " you are eating for two " lectures, always in secret. We had already discussed where the child would go after it's birth. Since i had no family, Ana's family offered to look after the child. There's a lot i admire in Ana, actually, there is probably nothing i don't admire. She was beautiful, wise, kind and so compassionate. Her fire and her energy were contagious, and her doting ways with Fareeha were heartwarming. Fareeha was getting older now, going into her teens, she didn't know a thing about the child coming to stay with her, it was meant to be kept that way. I saw little of her as it was, and my belly wasn't as big as it should be for how far along i was, but everything looked normal. i just looked like i put on a bit of weight, which luckily could be played off as grief. However, eating was the last way i wanted to handle the situation. The bed was still always cold, his scent was fading in every way. I had snuck into his room and stole a bunch of his shirts, curling into them at night. Pathetic, but it helped with the nightmares. News of the explosion at headquarters had spread, the news was full of lies, saying that overwatch was potentially a terrorist organization. The investigation into the deaths of Reyes and Morrison were tearing apart the team more and more. Jesse had already packed his bags, and Lena contemplated starting the begriming of her personal world tour with him. But she didn't want to leave the group behind. My lab crew was completely gone, they left months before, and the growing stress and growing child weren't helping. I avoided leaving the building, i didn't want anyone picking up on my pregnancy, my grief or what happened. The United Nations was working hard at the investigation, and the human welfare inside the building. Countless hours spent going over what i was trying to accomplish, how it would save lives, but they didn't care, they were looking for reasons to destroy us.

Ana kept randomly disappearing, she said she had some leads and was trying to be as covert as possible. But today was the day i needed to move out of my in building flat, and to the studio i shared with Jack, i was three weeks away from 8 months. When jack was alive i worried he would figure it out, but i was working so hard to keep him and Gabe from attacking each other, that i didn't want the news to be tarnished, ugh, keep telling myself that. But in truth, i was worried about the rift, i wanted them to be civil before revealing the news. I was also worried with his new position that he could lose his job, sure we could have played it off as i got randomly pregnant by someone random. But that wasn't who he was. He would own up to anything he did. Eating the last bit of ice cream (that he bought!), using the last bit of shampoo or even forgetting the tiniest things.

"ready to go love?" asked Lena scooping up a box. "it's a good thing it's winter!" she said pointing at my puffy jacket. "then again, it's hard to tell Anyways, you sure it's not just a food burrito?"

Rolling my eyes and laughing "oh I'm sure..." She shot me a smile. It was so kind of her to help me, we had been slowly moving stuff out for weeks, trying to avoid any suspicion. But today was the day, the last of my lab notes i had ticket into a bag.

"okay, love, I'll meet you there!" she said zipping off at lightening pace. i waddled down the streets, with my bag in my hands. Something felt weird . i picked up my other phone and dialed Winston.

" Eyes on me" i stated simply.

"I'm on it" he replied grumpily. He sighed, marching outside. He was more of a higher target than i was, so i welcomed the brief distraction while i darted down the street, taking the longer route.

Finally the welcomed site of my studio came into view. Trotting up to the door, and smiling seeing Lena propped up against some previously moved boxes.

"what took ya so long?"

"I'm not you! and i had some of our watchful friends keeping an eye out on me" i flatly said.

Lena picked up a photo from a box near her "this one's so cute!" she exclaimed, it was Jack and i during one of our brief "vacations" his hand in my hair and we were staring directly into each others eyes, smiles practically rendering our faces useless. But now it's just a memory, that's what pictures are good for, reminding you, hurting you.

"that's one of my favorites... but I'm missing my absolute favorite, probably got lost in the move or something. someone could have found it so i wouldn't blame anyone for destroying it".

"nobody would have destroyed it"

"we are currently under investigation, have you not noticed the piles upon piles of work that has been destroyed? years of work, just... destroyed" i was crying again, this happened more frequently now, I'll blame the hormones.

"uhm, do you need me to stay tonight? we could watch some movies and drink some... uh.. milk?"

Smiling i responded "i would love that, besides the goon squad is lurking, better you be out having a fling, than be caught wandering into the base late"

We laughed and made some popcorn, watching some random movies i had been collecting throughout the years. I always tried to have foreign films, it helped keep me fluent in multiple languages. Tonight's choice i thought was appropriate for Lena "Run, Lola, Run", it's a much older film now, but the filming style was perfect,and i knew she would love it. With everything that has been going on, i was truly grateful for Lena, she had already fallen asleep and i curled next to her as usual when we did these nights.

 **A/N: i'm so sorry, another short one, i have more chapters ready but i don't want to overwhelm anyone.**

 **Edited: apparently i messed up and had this chapter attached to the previous chapter, if this is your first read-through then you are fine! it got edited, and that's about all, then some typos cleaned up!**


	10. Chapter 10

Another week had passed, then another. Thoughts of Jack increasing as my belly is close to dropping, Ana has been stopping by nightly, checking in on me and transferring notes and data to Winston. Trying not to do too many experiments with the due date coming up. Apparently Talon is gaining in strength and talk of a mission is closing in. My phone buzzes.

"Doctor, you are needed at the lab" -Winston. Sighing, i slide into the biggest clothing i can find to cover up. But it's not easy. I knew he would turn down the heat in the building so my giant coat and hoodies would make sense, but the belly is fully here, I'm still smaller than i should be. I take the long roads around, trying to avoid anyone tracing me back to my "hideout" . Security around the headquarters is swarming, upcoming debates and decisions are being made. I clutch my bag closer to me, Lena dropped off my Caduceus earlier to Winston, i knew the message would be coming soon. I flashed my badge at security and they let me in.

"Doctor " Winston greeted me, patting my shoulder and padding off towards the lab.

" what do you need?" my nerves at this point are frayed, i rarely show up here.

" I've been reading up on your studies, and i think it's ready to test the resurrection" he states point blank.

" you got it" i sighed looking at the dead mice on the table. Sliding on an older but stable version of my Valkyrie suit, it doesn't fit well, everything on me has grown.

Pointing my staff at them i utter the phrase "heroes never die" the typical light beam appears, and my breathing quickens, the mice are now mobile. Scurrying around, no signs of mist, smoke, or decay. Tears well up.

"You did it! YOU DID IT!" he shouted. It's a victory, but it feels so empty. Sliding off my suit an putting it back in the cabinet. His warm hand touches my back, and he turns on the little radio in the office.

" i need to talk to you" he says quietly . I knew this trick before, we were being listened in on, or there was a great suspicion.

" we are going to be putting your work in a safe location, well.. Lena is going to be putting your work into a safe location, if the day comes when we can no longer work here, i need you , and only you to retrieve your items and run. "

"but.. why? i haven't done anything wrong"

"i know that, we all know that, but we don't want these things falling into the wrong hands, if the nations shut us down, they will take everything. Jesse is leaving tonight, as well as the few remaining members. Genji has been officially off the radar for over a month... Lena will probably follow Jesse depending on the verdict in a few weeks. But we do need you to stand trial, and talk about the efforts you have made and the things you have accomplished. We will need to temporarily alter your back up staff and suit to look like your current ones, but they need to have a kill switch... Torbjorn is here to assist you with that... Now. I've briefed them about your current weight gain and said no mention should be made... as some tests or something have gone wrong" he urgently said.

"...okay.. and they believed that? and why is my ...you know... under such debate?"

"because ange...we don't need more people knowing of your situation, if we are shut down we need you, well all of us to go into a sort of hiding, I'll be giving you all devices in which i can reach you after the fact, should we ever need to meet up again... do you understand?"

"yes ..but" everything is racing, my entire body is feeling full of electricity.

" good, now. we still have the plan in motion for your delivery, Ana will take it from you and put it into hiding. She is going on a mission tonight, and i just wanted to reassure you... okay?"

"okay...but.. Winston. why... why so much secrecy?"

"i guess you haven't heard... we are being viewed as the enemy now. " he sadly said, his eyes looking glassy.

i couldn't believe what was happening, as he left the room, Torbjorn entered.

"so... we gotta make a kill switch..." he said.

"yes, and quickly" i stated. Turning up the radio and starting to get to work.

We worked all night, the old staff worked just like the new one. I doctored some notes with the basic theories, and plans, but left out the actual method. everything was set. But i had to stay overnight.

Ana came in later to check on me and brew some fresh tea. Rubbing my ankles and softly singing me into a deep sleep.

"my dear girl. i love you" she said as i drifted off into sleep, her smile and kindness made me feel safe in my old room.

I woke up startled to the sound of Lena crying, curled up next to me. Her warm body shaking and tears falling onto my shoulders. Turning to look at her and stroke her hair.

" lovely... what's wrong?"

"he's left. he had to go" she choked out. burrowing herself into my chest, her knees tucked under my belly. One hand slowly rubbing my stomach.

"I'm so sorry, can i do anything for you?"

"make this not end..." she softly said pulling at a loose strand of my hair.

"i wish i could, i wish i could build something to change everything." I stroked her hair and softly sang to her. slowly i could feel her falling asleep, kicking now and then.

We woke up, curled tightly together to a soft knock on the door.

"Angela, it's time to go" said Winston. I kissed Lena's sleeping forehead. and noticed a nice maternity disguising outfit, professional, but baggy. Studying myself in the mirror, i just looked stressed.

"Lena... darling, it's time to wake up, we need to go"

She stirred and frowned, straightened herself up and ran off to change.

Reinhardt was standing near the entrance waiting, so was Torbjorn, and Lena ran up to us, i reached out for her hand, and she grasped it tightly.

We all piled into the convey, avoiding the press and protesters.

"so it's come to this, has it?" barked Reinhardt.

"criminals? terrorists? is that really what they believe?!" said torbjorn.

I scanned the transport... where's Ana?... she had a mission, maybe she got trapped, or stuck..or something.

We pulled up to the huge united nations building, Lena wouldn't let go of my arm, and i wouldn't have it any other way. "it's going to be okay" i whispered to her. She smiled weakly , we walked in and took our seats. Each member being called to the stand one by one. I couldn't stop tears from trickling down my face, and kept wiping them away.

"Doctor Angela Ziegler, to the stand please" called the judge's booming voice.

I slowly got up, trying to walk straight instead of doing the "hey I'm pregnant waddle" .

I swore my oath, and took my seat.

"Doctor Ziegler, we are under the impression you worked closely with Commander Morrison... true?"

"True"

"and in the months leading up to the disappearance of one Gabriel Reyes, and John Morrison, had you known of the internal fighting?"

"Yes, but it wasn't"

"i asked you yes or no"

"yes."

"have you been experimenting with life and death methods?"

"Yes"

" have they worked?"

"Yes"

"I'm bringing the items for you to demonstrate, would you be willing to?"

"yes."

My old suit, my old staff were placed in front of me, i slid my arms into the suit and carefully picked up the staff, i hope this works, i hope this works. A small dead rabbit was placed in front of me. Had this been a normal day i would have slightly laughed, they think of me as a magician... producing a rabbit back from the dead?.

"are you ready?"

"yes... i will need a moment" i took a deep breath and uttered while pressing the button "heroes never die" the rabbit shook, and slowly it began to return to living. A sharp pain started in my belly.

"that will be all for that. please return the items"

Here it goes,...here goes all my work, well.. the copy.. i pressed the switched on both things, and carefully palmed them, now they wouldn't work to the extent they wanted. i scratched my shoulder with one hand and slid the switches into my pockets in the other.

"Doctor Ziegler, are you understanding that your work could be used in.. unnatural ways? promoting violence and corruption"

"excuse me?"

"Doctor Ziegler, your weapons in the wrong hands, or even in your hands could bring back dangerous criminals. "

"but it wouldn't be used"

"And did you or did you not use experimental technology after the argument between Commander Morrison and Gabriel Reyes?"

"i don't remember... all i remember is walking in, and waking up later at another facility"

" do you swear.. under oath that that is all you remember?"

" i swear" trying to clear my mind and push the images of Reyes out of my head.

"Did you bring back a former mob associative one, Genji Shimada?"

"yes"

" were you aware of his former associations"

"I'm a doctor, i treat the dying"

"but did you know of his former associations"

"i was informed, yes"

"and you still went through with the process of bringing him back as a weaponized human?"

" that was not my intention, my intention was to keep my patient alive"

"yes, but you went beyond that, you created a weapon"

"no, i created a shell in which a human could fully function, given his previous flexibility i didn't want to destroy his quality of life, He agreed to all actions that were taken'

"that wasn't the question"

"well, I'm not sure how you want me to answer"

"honestly"

" i am being honest, i swear, anytime i treat a patient i do not know the intent of their soul, i just patch them up to the best of my abilities, and hope that they will be good. "

"but he had weaponized attachments"

"yes" i answered softly

"did you knowingly install them?"

"Yes" i could feel my voice start to break, tears welling in my eyes.

"no further questions, you may return to your seat"

The walk back felt like a mile, my abdomen was twitching in pain, and i felt the soft kicking, why... why now. It already has the spirit of Jack, little fighter. I slide back into my seat, holding Lena's hand. The next few hours dragging on, i was glad i didn't drink anything this morning, usually i would have peed three times by now. A knot growing in the back of my throat with each mention of Jack's name, this would be happening all day. Finally the trial broke, proceedings would be known later in the week, Lena and i were finished there, but they still wanted to question Winston and Ana... wherever she was .

Pulling back up to the headquarters and sneaking by the protesters and press we sat, quietly in the main room. The baby was kicking so fiercely now. I gasped in pain, clutching my stomach, and Lena softly asked "what's wrong?"

"i need to go to my room" i said, quickly getting up and trying to power walk. She followed me. "what's wrong?" she asked again, i placed her hand on my belly.

"aw... even it knows what going on" she said quietly . "I'll bring you some tea"

Thank goodness for Lena, now i could just lay down instead of worrying about anything. Except where Ana was...

Suddenly the sounds of shouting echoed through the halls.

 **A/N: i wanted to thank everyone who is reading and following this fiction! i hope it's okay! 3**


	11. Chapter 11

Lena popped up "I'll see what's going on luv, you wait here" She zipped off into the hallway.

I waited for her returned, the soft glow of the TV still on, i hit replay, and curled as best as i could in my condition.

Faint cries could be heard in the distance. Groaning as i stood up, making my way towards my door when a soft knock was there.

"luv, you decent?" came a muffled Lena voice.

"of course" i replied, worry gaining, Into the room came a grief stricken Lena, and a teary eyed Winston.

"Sit down Angela, we have some news" said Winston carefully.

No...no no no ... no... i gasped in pain, the kicking had increased.

" we ... we lost Ana. "

The next sound that came out of my mouth was almost unearthly. Sobs escaped and my entire body was shaking.

"Angela... Angela... we need you to calm down it's not good for"

"FOR WHAT?! WHAT ISN'T IT GOOD FOR?! " I screamed. Then gasped in pain, this couldn't be it... I'm a month early, no no no hell no...

I felt his hands on my back, and Lena curling into my side.

" no no no no no no " i shouted half in misery half in pain.

" As far as we can tell it was quick. she was in no pain"

" NOOOOOOOO noooooo noo no no no no no no no no, who was with her?!"

" she went alone luv" whispered Lena.

"WHY"

" because, well you know her"

"yes.. i KNEW her" i coldly stated, my face felt completely soaked with tears.

"we've informed the family, they will be here within the morning. i know Pharah would want to see all of us" said Winston, continuing on.

"can... can you just ...leave?" i gasped out between sobs.

"yes but.."

"just... go" i said, rocking back and forth, trying to steady my heart rate.

"are.. are you sure love?" asked Lena, still crying.

"i don't care" i said, turning away from them, curling into my body pillow and sobbing.

I heard Winston leave the room, but whispering to Lena, too exhausted to even try to figure it out. I heard her curl into my chair in the corner, softly crying.

I motioned for her to join me, and in the next moment her warm body curled against mine. Not saying a word we cried to sleep.

My dreams turned into weird realities, i was walking on a beach, one hand holding my caduceus, the other hand holding Jack's . He smiled at me. I felt good, safe. When suddenly Amelie appeared with Gerard, i screamed at them that a wave was coming, they smile and waved jumping into the ocean, laughing. Then Gabe appeared, and grabbed Jack away from me, i was screaming about the waves, the waves. But Jack dropped my hand and followed, never turning back. Gabe turned and smiled sinisterly at me, Ana was next, following blindly into the ocean, as a giant wave crashed upon their heads, all smiling and waving as the ocean swallowed them. I was screaming, running through the water trying to find them, screaming their names. Gabe appeared floating out of the water, two pistols in his hands and started firing at my abdomen.

I felt my back being shaken awake.

"What... what is it?" i muttered.

"uhm. Ange.. your water... uhm..." muttered Lena.

"my water? what about?" the pain was real, the water was real.

Lena jumped up " back in a moment love" she sped off screaming for Winston.

I could hear doors opening "go back to bed this doesn't concern you!" she shouted.

I heard rapid footsteps, everything in my body was aching, screaming and tearing.

The next thing i knew Winston was cradling me and running full speed to the medical bay. Nobody was left on my team, not that they knew, but no one could help.

"oh hell" i muttered. " okay, I'm going to need you to write this all down, I'm early, obviously. AHHHHHH , this isn't good AHHHHHH. But it's better if i deliver now since I'm AGHHHHHHH not at the right weight... " gasping for air.

"Don't worry, i looked up information for just this kind of reason" said Winston, trying to sound calm.

Lena squeezed my hand. "okay... so... AGHHHHHHH" i threw my head back against the table, screaming. Lena using a free hand to look up how to delivery a pre-term baby on the internet, while softly panicking.

The pain shot through me, I'd been shot before numerous times, but nothing quite compared to this. Then darkness. I woke up still leaking fluids.

"well, it looks like in the next 24 hours we could have a baby" said Lena while rubbing my head. "well i mean, you, not us" she giggled.

The next few hours were full of pain, apparently i was dilating, according to Lena's extensive internet search. I felt that i was , i was in too much agony to not be.

Winston got a call, it must be morning because Ana's family had arrived.

"go on, I'll message you if any changes happen" Lena said to him. Winston smiled and left the room, we knew it could still be hours.

"so... this is fun" said Lena beginning to pace.

"if you want to go lie down or something, I'll be fine...promise" i said, "i mean, this could take hours"

"it's already been five hours" she said while pacing.

"well I'm sorry the baby is not running on our schedules"

She laughed a little. "hows the pain?"

"it's about the same, but i think I'm adjusting to it"

"i swears only you would say ' oh I'm adjusting to labor pain! doo dee doo! don't mind me! gonna go do some minor surgery!'" she teased.

"at least go get something to eat" i pleaded, knowing that she hadn't left my side in hours.

"fine... do you need anything?" she asked.

"no... I'll be fine, well, as fine as i ahhh can be..." wincing in pain. I smiled at my friend as she left to grab something.

I was now alone in my thoughts, wishing that Jack was here to experience this, but he's gone, forever. And soon the baby would be here and gone as well. With Ana's family here i knew the plan was still in motion, they had a nurse in case waiting at home. The arrangements had been made, with all that is going on with overwatch it's better this way. It's better i don't have any involvement besides being a vessel. Stroking my belly and crying in pain. i tried to focus on breathing, and keeping my pulse rate normal, but my pulse hadn't been normal since the experiments. Changes had been happening, but i couldn't figure out what or how. Nanotechnology is a newly developing field. I just have to deliver, i just have to get through this, and through everything. I wished Ana was here, she was so excited. She had been like a mother to me, i never really knew what a family was until overwatch. The sacred bond of friendship, hope and love. It was now all gone, a fading memory. But i have Lena and Winston for now. For how much longer i don't know. The kicking had started again. "i know you want out, you will be out soon enough" i said outloud.

At least an hour had passed, Lena strolled in, tears in her eyes.

"what's wrong?" i asked, needing something to take my mind off the excruciating pains.

"i saw pharah, she just... she just held me crying. Telling me how much she wanted to enlist..but she's still too young, Ana would be so against it, she told her that, ya know... no joining us... but she's a real fighter that one. A true copy of her mum..." Lena trailed off staring into my eyes.

" anytime now" she said.

"i know... i can feel it" i said, patting my dropped belly.

The pain kept increasing, and my breathing was straining, i motioned to Lena all the tools she would need to assist me, Winston would be along soon too. He was so scared and excited. Apparently he had been studying childbirth in his spare time, how very much like him.

"little fighter this one is.." said Lena holding her hand on my belly.

Suddenly the pains reached a point in which i couldn't think clearly, sweat was soaking the sheets, and i couldn't stop screaming. Winston came rushing in, along with one of Ana's sisters, Meera.

"I'm here darling" she softly cooed at me, glancing between my legs.

Winston blushed, well as much as a blush as i could ever see.

"you are going to need to start pushing soon" she comforted. Lena sat down in her chair, gripping the arms.

I felt a complete shift, shooting pain everywhere, and i started screaming, swearing and sweating. I felt so weak.

" alright my darling, I'm going to need you to breathe, do you know the breathing?"

" of bloody fucking course!" i screamed, Lena grabbed my hand, Winston grabbed the other. I started breathing, the contractions were getting worse.

"and breathe" she coached.

I did my breathing, Winston and Lena joining in, i swear Winston was getting pale. He had a look of worry in his eyes, as Lena pushed my soaked hair out of my face.

"okay... push" she shouted.

I started pushing, my entire body shaking, i could feel my eyes closing and things getting dark.

"push!" she screamed, i was trying to breathe. Struggling for air

"PUSH!" "PUSH! PUSH!" she screamed. This went on for what felt like hours. I felt it leaving my body, or starting too.

"ouch love" said Lena trying to pull her hand out from mine.

I screamed some more, my voice growing hoarse. The darkness started to take over me again, stars shooting infront of my eyes.

"push... and push..." coached Meera.

i was trying so hard, the mix of emotions, pain and exhaustion taking it's toll.

Winstons eyes showed fear to Lena, they shared a look.

"it's okay, it's okay" comforted Winston.

"PUSH NOW! AS HARD AS YOU CAN" yelled Meera.

I gave a large push, body shaking and tears and sweat mixing. I felt a weird release.

"one more" said meera

i screamed, louder than i ever have, when suddenly nothing.

"there you are love" said Lena looking over at Meera. She had tears in her eyes, as she reached to cut the cord.

Everything in me collapsed, and the room went dark.

i woke up to Winston talking softly to Lena and Meera.

"Love, he's beautiful" said Lena smiling at me, she looked completely exhausted, i could see where the tears had been.

Winston smiled and patted my shoulder.

"beautiful and surprisingly healthy" said Meera, motioning towards the makeshift baby bed.

"would you like to hold him?" she asked.

No, i don't want too, if i hold him i will bond, and if i bond i won't be able to let him go... like i won't let Jack go ...or Ana go...

"I'm... very tired" i said, it was the truth, but only half of it.

"we will let you rest, I'll be right in here with the two of you" comforted Meera.

A soft cry escaped the baby's mouth.

"however, we will be leaving soon, and I'm going to need you to feed him, or pump?" she said.

"we don't have a pump here... just some formula i picked up" said Winston sheepishly.

"i... i understand" i said carefully. this is the last thing i wanted to do, to share a brief bond with him before he left.

"get some rest, we have a few more hours here" said meera. I closed my eyes and curled up. trying to control my tears.

I woke up a few hours later to the sounds of him crying, the crying caused me to cry, and meera picked him up and was slowly rocking him.

"my dear, we don't have much time, we want to leave while it's dark, easier to sneak this one out..." her voice sounded full of worry.

"okay... fine... " i extended my arms, i never was this cold to anyone usually, now my own child i was being rude about. My child... but it's not mine, i just made and carried it. It's not mine, anything belonging to me dies.

Meera cautiously walked over, laying this perfectly beautiful boy into my arms. He looked at me, he looked like a blend of jack and i, but had jack's eyes, and strong cheek bones. i slid my arms out of my shirt and brought him up to my breast. it took a bit of work but he finally latched on. I clung to the warm baby, the product of love, love that still existed, but was lost.

I relaxed at the feeding,when he was done i held him to my chest and started crying, I'm losing everything. Everything i cared about. Lena came into the room, and raced over to me.

"there there" she comforted, stroking my hair.

"my darling, we will be back in an hour... take your time. " said meera as she left the room.

" i don't know how i can do this" i said softly.

"you don't have too... you two could run off and hide somewhere together"

" how.. for how long? we don't even know the future of overwatch, and with everything being uncertain i don't want to become a target, or make all of us into targets" i said. i had been thinking about this a lot. There's not certainty in the future of overwatch, if we are disbanded, branded as criminals, i cannot raise a child in fear. Their name tarnished, as their fathers was being.

"i just can't" i said looking into my friend's eyes.

" this really bites.. all we wanted was to help people. this whole case is nutters. complete bullocks" she said while stroking the baby's head.

We sat there in silence, both taking turns holding the baby. Winston knocked on the door softly.

"may i come in?" he asked.

"of course" i said, he padded into the room.

"Winston.. would you maybe like to hold him?" i asked.

"oh me?! why... yes! yes!" he said excitedly, pushing his glasses up and holding out his large arms. I gently placed him into Winston's arms. His face fully smiling.

"ow's that little guy? it's a rare day to be held by a gorilla!" Lena said with a laugh.

I giggled too. Winston was being so cautious, he reached up for Winston's glasses.

"not yet! maybe in a few years, but by then your mother will probably have figured out a cure for all eye problems" he softly joked.

Your mother, a lump formed in my throat, and tears ran down my face.

"oh... I'm so sorry" said Winston, handing him back to me.

"no.. no i can't" i said through tears. Winston nodded.

"they should be back any minute now... " he said.

"fine." i said grabbing the little boy. He almost smiled at me, which only caused more tears. i clutched him to my chest, sobbing.

"he's a stoic little fellow, just like his..." Lena started to say, then immediately shut herself up.

"I'm so sorry Angela" said Winston. He stroked my hair, and touched the baby's cheek.

"it's fine, it's my fault Anyways" i said.

"eh, it's probably both of your faults" said Lena with a wink.

She was probably right, we hadn't been as careful as we should have been.. but that's another memory for another day.

Meera knocked on the door. "come in" i said.

She was bundled up and wearing a sling inside a large jacket. Winston carefully attached a small tracking bracelet onto the baby.

"you have the button as well?" he asked her .

"of course, Ana made sure we had one at the house for pharah as well" she said.

The button, the emergency tracking beacon. In case of danger you press it, it puts you into direct communication with Winston, this was all done without overwatch's knowledge. It was a small comfort.

"did you want to name him?" asked Meera gently.

"i was thinking of maybe john, but that's not set in stone, or can just be a code name" i muttered, i didn't want part in the naming, i didn't want a part in bonding, but that happened.

"okay, we need to go" she said, her arms extending.

Lena patted him on the head "you take care of yourself love, you have soldier and Valkyrie in you... " she sniffled.

I gently kissed his head, " i love you, and he would have loved you" i whispered. "this is for your safety... i promise" .

I held him tightly to my chest, and gave him another kiss. I felt Lena's arms around me.

"he will be alright" said Meera softly. gently placing him into the carrier around her and slowly zipping up her coat. "I'll be in contact if i can" she said. and with that she left the room, Winston patted my shoulder and followed her.

Gasps of crying left my mouth, i shook all over and Lena curled into me.

"it's going to be alright love, you'll see him again soon, I'm sure of it"

"no... it's for his safety" i whispered between sobs. I had nothing left to cry. Lena got up and held out her arms. "let's go to the room love, no sense in staying in here.

I cried harder, no tears came out, but the feeling of despair washing over me. I carefully got up and followed her.

We snuggled under the covers, we put on some old films that i loved, the golden haze of the TV washing over us. As i fell asleep in her arms.

 **A/N: Thank you again for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Super short chapter**

The following day i got up, and gently covered up Lena, i was starving, i threw on some baggy clothes and wandered out to the cafe area. Grabbing a bagel and poured myself some tea. Reinhardt and Torbjorn were happily laughing in the corner over a game of cards. They were trying so hard to just stay focused.

"oh there's the doc, how've you been handlin' all this?" asked Torbjorn, completely unaware of the pain i went through.

"uhm. i miss her" i said softly, thinking of Ana.

" we all do, what a pistol she was, stand up young lady, I'm sorry you got ill last night, must have been a terrible flu" said Reinhardt, slamming a card down.

"yeah... it was.. it was something" i said, if only he knew.

Winston came out grabbing another jar of peanut butter.

"Angela i have something for you, whenever you are ready" he said.

I nodded while sipping on my tea, and slowly chewing a bagel. It felt like crumbs in my mouth, the tea helped wash it down.

"I'm ready" i said with uncertainty.

He motioned at me to follow him, and i did, once near my room he pulled out two envelopes.

Right away i realized when i saw the handwriting. It was jack's final wishes, we all wrote notes in case of anything happening. the other was addressed to his family. A lump formed in my throat.

"what should i..."

"i figured you would know what to do, i could just send it, but if you ever feel the need to deliver something in person, you have all the time you need" he said.

It was true, our small crew was smaller, with everything leaving because of the suspicions and threats. I grabbed the letters and held them tightly to my chest. I walked slowly back into my room, Lena was still in the same curled up position. I crawled in next to her, and snuggled her back.

 **A/N: it's mostly short because i didn't want to reformat the file completely, so i might post another one today!. Anyways, thank you again for reading.**


	13. Chapter 13

**A/N: Added another chapter today because the other one's length really bothered me.**

A few days later.

Lena and i had been sharing the bed for a few nights, our days filled with just sitting and eating, making plans in case we had to move out. All of it had taken it's toll on us. Everything hurt.. i stirred in bed, i still hadn't opened my letter, i couldn't do it yet. Everything was weighing heavily, and i needed a break. When suddenly i felt Lena stirring next to me. It was our midday nap, which we had been taking lately due to being up all hours and usually she slept light.

She softly murmured "Jesse?"

I couldn't help but grin, "that would be weird if i was" i said softly into her back.

She jumped. "oh... love I'm sorry! i thought you were uhm..."

"oh hush, you think i didn't know?" i chuckled .

She turned to me, her cheeks flushed. "but..."

" it's fine for you two to date, you weren't dating a commander... "

"true but... we didn't want to ya know. be completely obvious"

"How long have i known you two? how long do you think you could hide anything from me? i knew from the first Howdy! he had something for you...it was sweet really" i wistfully said.

"yeah, and everyone had a feeling about you and Jack... all that sneakin' and runnin around... comin' back all flustered and what not!" she joked back.

I clutched the letter i had in my pocket. "oh really?" i cocked an eyebrow.

"yes really! we aren't that daft around here! you shoulda see his face whenever you were on the field without him. " she said

"oh do tell, i could use the memories"

She stood up and started pacing " i swear! i don't know how we let a pacifist on the field like that! i swear, if they don't look after her! they are as good as dead" she said trying to mimic his grumpy voice, adding extra big steps to the pacing.

i couldn't help but giggle.

She mimicked talking into a comm " REINHARDT! your shield isn't up near mercy! she needs that shield up to heal Torbjorn! TORBJORN! stand still! you aren't making this any easier on her! STOMP STOMP STOMP"

"oh gosh, was he really like that?"

"allllll the time! i swear oneday he almost punched Jesse out , because Jesse started mocking him for it. he was all like ' mccree! quit screwing around! if she's down you are all dead!'" she laughed harder. "he was a proper riot that one, so caring too, whenever you were hurt he would run down to the medical bay and practically prep them for your mutilated body, when you just tripped or something minor, but the way he was going on you woulda thought you lost a limb!"

I smiled, that was him, "oh gracious, you should have heard his little 'lectures' to me ' now! Angela, you know better than to fly in on someone ' and i would be like ' jack... they were hurt! ' and he would frown and stare into my eyes, softly stroking my cheek..."i trailed off. i wouldn't feel that sensation ever again from him. The passion and worry he had for me...

"no no love! this is happy thoughts! this is happy time! no cryin' he wouldn't want you to cry"

"oh yeah? what would he want me to do then?"

" curl up with your pal Lena and watch those terrible movies like we always did, you know... the ones he would always pick on"

"uft... he did hate the majority of things we watched together, i mean i have other tastes obviously, and both you and i and me and him shared similar tastes. ours were more guilty pleasures." i said.

"hey love... I'll bet Reinhardt and torbjorn have some whiskey we could drink.. if you know. you want to unwind"

the idea of drinking did pique my interests, and being more social, since i had been in general hiding for the past few months.

"you know what.. i have just the thing" i said opening my closet, a half empty bottle of vodka lay in there still, thank goodness i left it behind... I grabbed it and held it into the air.

"i need this" i huffed.

"welll... i could still use something, eh. less... vodka-y more

whiskey" said Lena. Pulling on her hoodie.

We opened the doors and walked out to the cafe area. I plunked into the big comfy chair and stared at Torbjorn and Reinhardt, they exchanged glances, and pulled out the big bottle of whiskey. Lena motioned me to scoot over, as she sat next to me, the chair could easily sit the two of us, we tried to keep around multiple Reinhardt friendly chairs.

Torbjorn grabbed some glasses, i waved my hand at him.

"nope. not going to need a glass, unless any of you like vodka"

"pehhh... wouldn't touch that stuff" snarled torbjorn.

"ah so zis is what the doctor drinks!" shouted Reinhardt, slamming down his cards on the table.

"cheers mates" shouted Lena, filling up their glasses, i clinked my bottle with their glasses. Taking a large swig.

"ufff" i snarled, as it stung when swallowing.

" so wut brings you two fine ladies to our drinking corner tonight?" asked Torbjorn.

"it's been a long... long time" i said swallowing another mouthful, shuddering.

"far too long!" shouted Lena, pouring herself another.

Winston came padding into the area, reaching for another jar of peanut butter.

"oi! Winston! join is!" said Lena.

"oh..i couldn't possibly" said Winston. But Reinhardt poured him a drink and slammed it in his face.

" come on then! cheers love!" giggled Lena.

I smiled brightly at him, taking another swig. This time it went down smooth, i missed this, i missed this group.

"torb, another game?" asked Reinhardt

"no! poker!" shouted Lena, quickly pouring more shots.

"not to ruin teh party, but shouldn't you ladies slow down?" asked Torbjorn, eyeing us.

" trust me.. i'm a doctor" i uttered smiling.

Lena burst into laughter, we had been watching a lot of old British television at night.

"I'm sure these fine ladies know how to handle their drinks" said Reinhardt.

I sighed and grabbed some pretzels, dumping them onto the table.

"poker chips" i said, munching on some.

" ladies...maybe it would be best if you slowed down" said Winston.

I chewed on another pretzel, staring at him. Blinking.

"fine" we agreed in unison, i settled my bottle on the floor and tucked my feet under me.

Winston sighed happily, he looked amused for his first time in weeks..months even. Everything that had become of the team was weighing heavily on all of us. Everything hurt, we needed this.

"anyone willing to play chess?" asked Winston.

I shrugged, the idea of chess right now made my head hurt a little bit, i couldn't fully concentrate Anyways, and i was incredibly rusty.

Reinhardt smiled " I'll play with you!" he shouted.

Torbjorn made a "peh" sound and nursed his whiskey, turning his chair to watch as Winston gleefully set up his chess kit on the table. I curled into Lena.

"hey, so uhm, everyone remember that time that Ana broke a teacup over Jesse's hat?" said Lena.

I snorted "who could forget?"

Reinhardt let out a large laugh and so did Winston.

" she was furious for days! called him a child and everything" said Lena giggling.

"well he had it comin' fer a long time" said Torbjorn laughing.

"wait... i have an idea" said Winston "don't let him cheat while I'm gone"

He bounded off, a few minutes later returning with a large photo album.

" i know it's a bit old fashioned but, i figured, maybe we could all have some memories" said Winston sheepishly.

Lena grabbed the book, letting it lay open on the table.

Memories of the better days at overwatch...

"oi! look at this one! " said Lena pointing at a photo of Jesse eating Winston's peanut butter,

"oh yes! i had been missing jars for weeks, so finally i staked out, and caught him in the act!" laughed Winston, moving a chess piece.

"oh and that time you dressed as a witch" said torbjorn wistfully.

"oh hush! it was for Halloween" i blushed.

" oh yeah sure love! for Halloween" she did air quotes and ribbed me in the sides.

"IT WAS! look even torbjorn's dressed as a biker in the photo" i said

"love, it was.. oh never mind" said Lena waving her hands around and turning the page.

i smiled to myself, yes, it was for Halloween, but that night was special, well... every night with jack was special, but that Halloween we all got so incredibly drunk that we all stumbled around, mouthfuls of candy and alcohol. I felt so strangely powerful in that costume, i felt a blush appear on my cheeks. I was rarely the dominent one, but that night i had Jack completely under my spell...so to speak... the blush on my face got deeper.

" yeah for Halloween" joked Lena again, noticing my face flush.

The next photo was of Lena running a race with a bunch of children, huge smiles as they looked up to their overwatch hero. The next one of reinhardt sitting in the remains of Winston's desk chair, he clearly broke it and Winston was on his back laughing at him.

Then there was the photo of reinhardt and i, a favorite, his hands holding me up in my Valkyrie suit in front of a tree, pretending to be a Christmas angel. He was covered in wreathes and lights, torbjorn poking his head out of the tree like an angry elf, and Lena dressed as an elf. Slowly flipping through the photos i took a few more swigs, when we came upon the day Jack's title changed to Strike Commander Morrison, we all looked so proud, except of course Reyes, he had a noble look, but clearly you could see he was upset.

Tons of photos from that day, but one made me almost burst into hysterical tears.

It was Jack and I standing in a corner near the end of the night, I was beaming and so proud of him, and he had this look of love and determination on his face, content. Moments after this was taken, he lightly grabbed my arm, we had ducked into an empty hallway and he passionately kissed me, pressing me against the wall, playing with my hair. Sliding his hands under my dress, and i had jumped up and wrapped my legs around his waist as he gently rocked me up and down, Then he pulled away, had this gleeful, worried look and seemed about to say something. But then we heard Reyes calling out his name drunkenly. He returned to the party, and i returned a few minutes later.

I choked back a sob, and took another swig of Vodka.

"you can keep that one if you would like" said Winston softly, i grabbed it, stuffing it into my pocket with the other envelopes, i didn't have the heart to open mine yet, but i kept it on me, somehow it made me feel like he was there.

Winston took the album back and tucked it under the chair.

" here's to the golden age of overwatch, and here's to hopefully more" said Reinhardt, raising his glass. We all joined in, quietly drinking, and just enjoying the company.

Winston, Torbjorn and Reinhardt decided to call it a night, but Lena and i remained in our chair.

"i really miss him" i softly said.

"i know lovely, but you know, he would want ya to ya know.. " her voice tried to imitate his "soldier on" .

"you are right, there's more to be done, more lives to be saved, and falling into misery would be the worst thing i could do to him". I took another swig.

Lena hopped up "join me in my quest to find true heroes! and something to eat!" she said with a laugh.

I stood up, and gave a slight spin on my tip toes.

"yeah yeah, show off!" joked Lena.

"it's not showing off! it's standing"

"yeah well, i should remember to never ask you to stand while wasted, you always turn into this weird, dancing thing" said Lena.

"i do not"

"you sure do! ask anyone, it's like your body gets lighter and you have to walk on your toes or you will fly away!"

"ah. " i said, it was true, i had been a dancer for most of my life, not professionally or anything, just took a lot of dance to get out my emotions. Plus i needed some type of athletic abilities if i wanted to sprint around medical fields.

"oh! i found something!" giggled Lena, pulling out popcorn, she stumbled to heat it up, but hopped onto the counter for balance.

I started cleaning up the glasses and bottles we left, floating around and putting them away.

The popcorn was ready and Lena and i staggered back to my room, to curl up, eat the popcorn and sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: i am absolutely thrilled with the number of follows and views! Thank you all so much!**

Knocking was heard on our door in the morning. It was forceful.

" Angela, we need you" shouted Winston, Lena woke up with a start with me, she zipped to the door.

"what's wrong?" she said. I quickly got up and stood with her,

" they reached a verdict. we need to hurry, get dressed and go "

My pulse quickened and my heart felt heavy. I put on something practical, my pencil skirt, a slouchy v neck, and large jacket, i still had some pregnancy weight to lose, but i still needed to look like i hadn't just had a baby. I brushed on some eyeliner and mascara . Stored jack's letter into my pocket and met up with Lena. She grabbed my hand, and i squeezed back, we piled into the transport. Everyone had solemn faces on.

"they just, they have to find us innocent" stated reinhardt breaking the otherwise silent ride. I softly patted Winston's hand with my free hand. He looked at me, his eyes glassy.

"i just wanted to say, i know we are the last remaining members, and i thank you for not leaving, but it's been a long time coming. I'm sorry to have failed you, and to have failed what overwatch has stood for"

" then what are we goin' to this thing for?" asked Torbjorn.

I sighed, he could have informed us last night, hell, this morning. Told us all to pack it up and go. The one thing we have been waiting to hear, but trying to deny.

" i think because, we need to show that we still believe in what overwatch has stood for" said Winston. "but any of you can leave, we can send another transport back" .

Lena was silently crying next to me "it's not fair"

i kissed her temple, and pulled her into a hug.

" we are supposed to be a team, i wouldn't have stayed so long if there was no hope!" she shouted. Then she bit her lip "I'm sorry, I'm just... "

"it's okay" said Winston. As we pulled up and saw rioters, protestors. Some even with old posters from our glory days on them, which big X's over our faces, calling us traitors and murderers. One sign proclaimed "Doctor Death". i gasped and tried to put on my bravest face, but some of the signs had Jack on them, his face practically etched out with writing all over them.

" get behind me ladies" said reinhardt, stepping out. I helped Lena get out. I couldn't even cry, i tried to think of all Jack stood for, how hard he fought to keep overwatch standing, despite all the fighting inside, the deceptions he had faced. I had to remain strong for him.

" it's going to be okay" i whispered to Lena. As we walked inside together.

We were told to sit and wait. Armed guards came over to us, patting us down, i inhaled deeply trying to remain focused. We were called in.

Faces stared at us. Photographs taken, and camera's practically up our noses.

" As of today, overwatch will be no more. The Petras act has been signed, deeming all Overwatch activity as illegal, criminal acts, worthy of punishment. "

The breath i had been holding escaped. I felt Lena let out a gasp, as she fell into me.

" Lena... Lena... stay calm, stay calm"

"you will all be escorted back, you may grab personal belongings, but that is all" said the judge sternly.

I felt my heart yanking out of me. A scream was lodged in my lungs. But i felt Lena scream first " WE WERE JUST TRYING TO HELP" she said in shock.

Winston patted her shoulder. she kept repeating it softly.

I rubbed her other arm and whispered "we will be okay."

The guards followed us to our transport, cheers from the rioters erupted as they got the news. We piled into the transport and immediately slammed the doors, i was holding back my tears until we were out of site.

Winston gave a knowing nod, we had been preparing for this for months, secretly removing a ton of my work, leaving behind half finished notes. Most of my things had been moved to the flat, or buried in the forest. Which sounds silly, but it's the safest place.

"so this is it then... "said torbjorn angrily. " we spent years making this world safer, and this is what they do? turn us out at the first signs of problems?"

"it's more than that " started Winston.

"i don't care what it is, it's unjust and you know it!" shouted Lena.

I sat in silence, processing the entire situation was impossible at the moment, despite preparing for it mentally, nothing can fully have you ready for this. At worst we assumed disbanded, not criminalized.

Suddenly the panic set in, all my experiments, if used medically could be considered a criminal act, saving lives... a criminal act. My throat felt tight, and i just sunk down lower in my seat. Now any chances of me actually being reunited with my son, vanished.

"all of my advances... " i started to say. what was i going to do... all of us.

The arguing continued, i couldn't even focus. For the second time in my life i was losing my family. This time less permanent, but dates, meetings would be under speculation. Everything would be under speculation. Lena was young, smart and full of energy, she still had so many options ahead of her, and she could join up with Jesse if she chose, retire, live somewhere nice. What.. what was i going to do. I'm being utterly selfish, here was all are suffering and I'm thinking my struggles are more important. What of everyone... What about everyone who died doing their jobs? protecting the same people who turned on them... what justice was this?

Upon arriving back at the base, we each had two guards, the place was swarming, i swallowed back tears. Glad that we had moved most things out that we wanted to keep. But there was still some things to attend too, but not with goon one and two over my shoulder.

I walked into my lab and began trying to pull down some "research" this was mostly for show, so they didn't get suspicious.

"Nope" one said.

"but it's my..."

" this isn't yours anymore, any photographs on your desk you may take, or diplomas.. medals...etc, nothing detailing your research here" he said strictly.

"fine..." i said crumpling up a few pages.

"what are you doing?"

"nothing, i don't want my random scribbles to be put under the microscope" i snarled.

"ma'am... it's merely a courtesy that we allow you in here again, so don't push it"

"it's doctor" i said bitterly.

" i doubt for much longer" the other one sneered.

That one hit me harder than i expected, i blinked back tears and grabbed a few framed medical awards. Shoving them into a box one of them was holding.

"aw look, one for humanitarian work... " laughed one guard.

"look, I've had just about enough of you two" i shouted walking out of the lab and towards my room. I had just a few items left, mostly clothes, and movies.

I passed Lena in the hallway, we shared a somber look, her eyes puffy.

I grabbed my clothes, they demanded to check the pockets. i clutched his letter in my pocket.

I carefully packed my shoes and makeup bag. When i noticed them pawing more at my packing them.

I heavily sighed, "do we get to walk out together?" i asked them.

" if you want, depends on how long it takes"

I heard distant clattering sounding like torbjorn and reinhardt had gotten into a huge fight.

" gentlemen, calm down, these men are just doing their jobs!" said Winston. He was thrilled at how well everyone was being though, since most of the plans and supplies had been carefully moved out for weeks. A lot was left at the other facility that had been destroyed, but Winston had another place, a place no one knew about.

Lena entered the hall and linked her arm in mine. We sat in the large chair waiting for the others. Shouting was occasionally heard.

Suddenly everyone was standing together, we all sadly glanced at each other as the guards double checked our boxes. Lena was holding my hand and Winston's.

"alright, listen up, as of today, the minute you walk out those doors you will not be allowed to re-enter, ever. Any acts of overwatch will be considered a crime, and punishable to the fullest extent. " shouted a guard.

"alright, say goodbye to overwatch" said another.

Those words echoed in my head, my hand felt like it was being squeezed off. As we walked towards the doors, i peered up at the huge poster of all of us on the wall. So happy, and full of dreams, now more than half of them dead, and the rest in hiding.

"it will be okay " said reinhardt putting a hand on Lena and i's shoulders.

I nodded slowly. once outside i hugged Torbjorn and Reinhardt tightly. Then waved as they drove off in a transport together.

Lena, Winston and i stood there, the guards watching us, Lena and i were going to stay at a hotel for the night, since she was flying back to London in the morning. Winston, well.. who knows what he had planned. He hugged me tightly "don't forget" he whispered. I knew what he meant, don't forget this isn't the end, just an end of this era, and the beginning of another one would start again, if we chose.

Lena sobbed as he got into a transport. We waved, and got into our own, headed to a nice comfortable hotel far away from the city.

As we pulled up, Lena sighed, and i helped her out of the vehicle. For once she wasn't bounding or running, just slowly walking, and crying. I put our bags and boxes onto a cart, checked in. "hey Lena... wanna ride on the cart?" i asked. Hoping it might brighten her mood a little. But she just frowned and walked next to me.

We opened the doors and collapsed onto the giant bed, not saying anything, just curled up and crying.

"where... where are you going to go?" asked Lena.

"ah. i got some stuff to pack away and sort out, but i have somewhere i need to go" i said pulling out the letter from jack to his parents.

"are you really going to do that?" she asked.

"yeah... i thought about it, and i know they already know, but maybe meeting someone he knew and hand delivering would be the kindest option" i whispered.

She smiled slightly, and curled up a little tighter "i might see Jesse later" she softly.

I nodded, of course she would. There's only so much i can do, i can heal the physical pain, but the mental is something that takes more work, if could i would give anything to help ease her pain. But we were all suffering.

We fell asleep curled together, when she kind of mumbled.

"what?" i asked.

" what... what will happen to your baby now?" she asked, regretting it the instant it was said.

"everything will remain the same, disbanded is one thing, criminalized is another... i don't want to raise John in hiding Lena" i uttered, feeling my grief come to the surface again.

"yeah, but... for how long?"

" how long for?"

"how long till you think you will see him again... or any of us again"

"Lena, if i knew i wouldn't be so devastated at the moment... I'm sure after some time has passes it will be realized the horrible mistake they made... do you even know where Jesse is?" i added.

" yeah, here, I'll give you the coordinates of his one of many safe houses, they usually keep a phone in there, ya call and bam, he is notified" she said with a slight smile.

Everyone had everything planned out as best as they could, but my plans didn't seem so sturdy... random flight to Indiana then to who knows where to help who knows... i sighed, turning on my side and drifting into sleep.

 **A/N: Again, thank you so much! and i promise that the story progresses quicker in the next few chapters.**


	15. Chapter 15

**A/N :Huge thanks to mrenteria99 for giving me a fantastic idea! and some awesome dialog. Warning, some violence in this chapter.**

( **This part takes place after the transports leave** )

The two guards stood on the overwatch base. They picked through the offices, trying to find stuff to loot for themselves, while also packing up the items for UN purposes.

"alright nothing too good in these rooms, stupid overwatch filth. " Said one guard (peter).

"yeah but they did have some pretty sexy women working for them, idiots, but hot... should have taken more time with that doctor"

"oh, Andy i may have something here" said the second guard to the first.

Andy went running to where his partner was. The room was destroyed, lockers yanked out.

"found out this room belonged to that sexy doctor, and well... " a real nasty grin appeared onto his face.

"i swear if you found any of her panties, or whatever you have to share"

"oh... even better, bosses are going to be thrilled with this, i found it under the locker, must've slipped through the crack" he handed Andy a card,

"turns out there might have been more goin' on here than we originally expected. between her hidden files and this... we are golden. " he continued.

Andy looked down at the card, his lips curled into a wicked grin.

A loud crashing was heard in the distance.

"hey what the..." said Andy.

A dark figure was lurking in the corner, he threw the objects to create a diversion.

Peter stepped out into the hallway to investigate, he wasn't exactly sleuth. Andy had stayed behind.

" i swear if they returned-" a fist met his face. He could feel his nose turn into jelly. His eyes black out for a moment. Peter spat out some blood, trying to get up off the ground, but a heavy boot was keeping him down. He stepped harder into the boy onto the ground, slowly hearing ribs crack. Blood began to cough up.

"get the fuck off me" gasped out Peter. His lungs filling with blood. The vigilante placed his other foot onto his belly, gently applying pressure, then stomping. Blood poured out, his eyes rolled back.

Andy shouted from Angela's room "hey! how hard do you think it would be to get her to come back here? she seemed pretty eas-" before he could finish the vigilante had him by the throat, slowly squeezing down. He slammed him to the floor.

"who...the...fuck...are... you?!" he gasped out, trying to reach his weapon.

"i wouldn't try that if i was you" the vigilante said as he kicked the weapon out of his reach, placing one foot down on his ankle, and kicking it with the other, a satisfying snap if he had ever heard one. Andy screamed in pain.

The Vigilante reached for a random closet rod, and started cracking it into the other ankle. Then the abdomen. Andy tried begging, but he was finding it harder to talk as his organs were being turned into mush. Finally he slammed him against the floor, Andy twitched, his body responding to the unpleasant death.

The man looked to the floor, eyeing the card, it was Angela's handwriting, he knew that for certain. it said "Zwei Monate, ich liebe dich Liebling" which if he could remember correctly translated roughly to, Two months, i love you my darling. He swallowed, he could feel his throat tightening, turning the card around was an ultrasound. He could feel panic, he was just here to grab his pulse gun,and some other supplies... never expected to find this...

Shit. this can't be true... why wouldn't she have told me? ... what. Why was this just left here? it didn't matter anymore Anyways. I am dead to everyone.

Running to the armory, i grabbed my pulse gun, some tons of ammo, biotech packs. There's just going to be more men coming... i could hear their radios going off. Well time to get the job done.

He carefully dumped out some fuel all over the place, leaving trails of ammunition, exiting the building, and standing on a far hill, i blasted off some helix rockets and watched the place burn.

 **The Next morning: (Angela's POV** )

Our alarm woke us up early, she had agreed to help me completely empty the studio and move it into further hiding. We both put on our darkest clothes and hoodies, trying to just blend in with the area. It didn't take long, since most of it was already packed.

I put all my medical kits into one bag, my basic field bag, and packed lightly, a few photos, my makeup, a few clothes depending on weather.

We turned on the news while we packed, hearing the news of our secondary base exploding, oh well... everything should have been gone and everything forgotten...burned. I half questioned if Winston was behind it, but i doubted it.

We both went to the airport together, clinging to each other.

"i love you Lena, take care of yourself, and your cowboy" i said pulling her in for a tight hug, i kissed her forehand when noticing a trash magazine stand.

"oh my god... Lena.. look" i pointed to a bold garish cover.

"Inside overwatch's final hours!: Undercover lesbians, diabolical doctor death, angry gorilla conspiracy" said the cover.

I stifled a laugh but then felt an ache. Surely they don't mean I'm diabolical doctor death...

"oh don't think anything of it love, it's trash! " said Lena, buying a copy and shrugging "what? Jesse will love this, always thought we had a little somethin' goin' on" she winked.

"oh please" i sighed rolling my eyes.

"i know, you are like my mother" she said tearing up a little bit.

The words mother stuck to me hard, making this goodbye harder.

She kissed my forehand and hugged me again as her flight was earlier than mine.

I waved to her, feeling completely empty. I would soon be alone, flying to Bloomington , Indiana to see my dead boyfriend's parents and deliver his letter. Fun. Great.

I wandered around with my carry-on bag. Grabbing a coffee and fixing my makeup.

I was still wearing the hoodie for comfort and mild secrecy, i really didn't want to deal with anyone recognizing me today.

I settled into my seat and closed my eyes. It was going to be a long long flight. First arriving in New York, then my next flight to Bloomington Indiana...

The flight was uneventful, i had a row to myself, and nobody paid any attention to me, thankfully. Even the attendants seemed to pick up on leaving me alone.

Arriving in new York and jetting to my next flight, bags in hand, and racing, trying to get my blood flowing, the flight had been long and i was so exhausted.

I heard the announcer saying they were boarding, so i ran over, and curled into my next seat. a small girl kept peering at me, her mother told her it wasn't polite to stare, but i waved my hand indicating it was no problem, i slid on my headphones and fell asleep.

I felt the plane landing, and carefully stretched in my seat, the little girl still staring over at me. I half smiled. In another world this could have been jack and i, with john, flying to see his parents, and john's grandparents.

The girl's mom broke my sadness with a start.

"she thinks you are that doctor from overwatch"

i blinked and thought of a response.

"she was her favorite, but now we are trying to tell her that sometimes heroes aren't always heroes" her mom said with a sigh.

my foot shook anxiously "well.. heh, uh. Kids need to learn to be their own heroes" i stuttered out, scrambling for some kind of words.

The mother and daughter smiled, and gathered their things. I looked out the window and sighed heavily, it was raining.

I was exhausted, hours upon hours of flying, the last thing i wanted to do was get into another mode of transportation, but i figured i would just check into a hotel, and rest up.

Once checked in, i looked around, at the small town, deciding to go for a run.

It all seemed familiar from what Jack had told me, the small town community, everyone saying hi and being friendly. Not what i needed right now, i didn't want to smile, or talk about myself. I felt a shiver, as the rain poured down more. My shoes soaking, and my hoodie drenched, i relented and ran back to the hotel, an hour jog was good enough. I went to my room and showered, feeling warm again. He said there was only this one hotel in town, we had planned to visit his family at some point, but never got around to it. Tear formed in my eyes, i curled into bed and ate vending machine food, and instant coffee. Anything to get warmer. At some point i must have fallen asleep, because there was light pouring into the bedroom. Today is the day, i go and meet them, and hopefully not upset or offend them. Jack always said his family was the most accepting and kind family, but he just needed more in his life. I jumped into the shower, carefully did my hair and makeup. Put on my green skater style dress he loved, and leggings, since you never know how cold it will get. Lacing up my boots i noticed my hands trembling. You can do this, you got this. I walked out to my car with coffee in hand and breathed in the air. It smelled so ... fresh and alive.

The rental was nice, compact, and i carefully placed my coffee and input the coordinates into it. I drove past farm after farm, softly squealing at the cows and horses. I adored horses, but never really rode much as a kid, then again i didn't do much as a kid once my parents... nope. not going to think of it today.

I spotted the farm he had spoken of, i didn't even need the directions at this point, it was so beautiful. I carefully pulled into the driveway, taking deep breathes. Come on Ziegler, you got this. i repeated, shakily stepping out of the car. I wished he was here, holding my hand, introducing me to his family, instead I'm here like a miserable reminder of their son. I walked up to the door, each step feeling like tons. I raised my hand to knock but stopped myself. I was panicking, i can't do this, i can't do this. I forced myself to list multiple things i could see, bench, door, cows, horses. I smell hay, i see sky. Slowly calming myself down, when i heard a voice sounding like jacks.

"well hello there" came the voice from behind me. I spun around, my face probably bright red.

"hi... " i softly said, frozen in place, as i looked at Jack's father's face. My god, they looked alike, it was like seeing an older jack in front of me, my heart pounded.

"how can i help you? are you lost?" he asked.

"I'm not.. I'm not lost I'm just" i muttered, trying to find words, i couldn't look at him, it hurt too much. I felt my reflexes kicking in, and walked by him back towards my car when i heard the front door open.

"Rick, is someone there?" called a sweet voice.

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

"I'm not sure" said Jack's father looking at me with a slight smile. " are you really here?" he asked.

"who.. how?" i stammered. ugh, pull yourself together.

Out from the house came a beautiful woman, she looked so kind and comforting, her white hair tied into a braid.

"oh my god" she said. Then before i knew it she was running towards me with her arms open, she flung her arms around me.

"Angela I'm guessing?" she said once she let go of me.

"how did you?"

" Jack told us all about you, even showed us pictures" she said warmly, tears in the corners of her eyes.

I couldn't control what i did next, i went to hug her, her warm arms surrounding me, and patting my back. A soft cry came out.

"come on inside dear" she said, motioning me to follow, while lacing her arm through mine. i hesitated in the doorway, it was all so nice, perfect, exactly as he told and showed me.

Pictures of jack at all ages on the walls, his awards happily framed. Then on the mantel were more recent pictures. Mostly of us, Jack and i took plenty of photos on secret vacations and i guess this is where he sent them. I smiled. We looked so happy. I felt tears coming on but i blinked them could have been all three of us, then the generations of males all looking alike. I really had to shut down my tears at this moment.

"we always wanted to meet you" said his father "I'm Rick, and this is Mary" he said gesturing at his wife.

"I'm Angela, obviously" i said, suddenly feeling shy, it was like meeting your boyfriends parents for the first time... oh wait. probably because it was, except most don't meet them after your boyfriend dies in an explosion, and their only grandchild they don't know about is god knows where...

"so what brings you out here?" asked Mary "not that i don't love the visit"

"oh.. i .. i wanted to deliver this in person" i said softly pulling out the letter.

She motioned at me to sit next to her. she wrapped her arms around me again.

"it's so nice of you to do this" she said.

Rick shuffled in the corner, looking uncomfortable at the situation.

" i can uh, leave, i just wanted to deliver that, and say how sorry that i ...am" i said choking back tears.

"No no, stay, we have wanted to meet you, and now we can" said rick moving towards a chair.

I looked up at a photo of us smiling back, i wanted him to be here so bad. The next hour was filled with telling them about overwatch, the case, what had happened, and now the uncertainty. I sighed, i swear they knew all of this, but maybe they wanted the actual story instead of the letter and brief visit they had. and Mary went to the kitchen to grab some fresh coffee.

Rick was just eyeing me. " he wanted to live a life away from here, to experience new things, and become someone greater than just a farmer" he said .

i nodded. not knowing what to say, or if it was my place.

" i feel like him staying would have killed him faster" he added.

I nodded again, shifting how i was seated.

"But he was a good soldier... and he proved to me that he was indeed more than a farmer. i just thought he wanted an escape"

i smiled " he was the best commander too" i said "he never showed fear, he was powerful, brave... everyone admired him".

"except the bad eggs" said his dad bitterly.

"yes. war, and jealously bring out the worst in people, and they turn to fear. Too often we let fear guide our paths blindly, but not Jack..." i said softly.

Rick smiled at me. And Mary returned with the coffee. The aroma was intoxicating. and it tasted even better. i slightly giggled to myself.

"what is it?" asked Mary.

"oh, he was always complaining about the coffee, and now i know why, this is amazing, i mean, i remember you sent him some beans, and it was delicious, but he went on and on about how it's not the same if it's not from home" i said.

Mary smiled and blinked away some tears. "i should have sent more"

"oh no, believe me, he was wired enough, if he actually liked the coffee he was drinking he would have been everywhere, all over the place" i said.

"he always was full of energy..." said rick wistfully. I still couldn't look at him for too long, it was like looking at a ghost of future jack. Something i would never get to see.

"oh, would you like to see his room?" asked Mary "you can say no of course, it's still hard to pass everyday, atleast before i would know he could always come home.. now i..." she trailed off.

I patted her hand, "i would love to see it" i said, inside i truly didn't, i mean, i wanted too ... but another part of me knew how much it would hurt.

She got up and held my arm, leading me down a hallway, the wood floors creaked. It was so wrong but part of me felt a bit jealous, i hadn't known what a family was like since.. forever, the closest i had was overwatch.

She carefully pushed open a door, it was like stepping into a time capsule, "he was only back once since he left for overwatch" she said. "even then he slept on the couch, saying his room was too weird, and wreaked of adolescent depression"

A grin flashed across my face for a moment. Notebooks, movies, music, all perfectly in place. Enlisting posters across his wall. Everything looked so neat "no wonder he couldn't stand my office" i said outloud.

"yeah, he always was a bit orderly, even as a kid, mind you he could make a mess if he wanted too. But before he left he straightened everything up"

A small collage of photos from his high school years was in a frame, i carefully walked over to it.

"he loved to play sports, but he was always a natural leader" said Mary, smiling with tears in her eyes.

"oh that one must be mark" i said pointing to a boy with black hair, who kept appearing in the photos.

"yes, his best friend growing up, but you know how things change"

"thank you" i said, turning to leave the room, the grief was overwhelming, i kept seeing things i could tease him about, but now it was a time capsule. A silent tomb. i felt guilt creep into me, i should just tell them, but why? what would it accomplish... oh you have a grandson, sorry i don't really know where he is...

Mary wrapped her arms around me, "would you like to stay for dinner?" she asked.

"it's just leftovers, but it's vegetable lasagna with vegetables from the farm, and cheese from the cows" she rambled.

Now everything really hurt, just being here. With his family about to eat dinner, where he sat for years.

"i... i can't" i stammered, trying really hard to not sob. But i could feel it coming,the walls breaking down inside. Everything, and i mean everything was being held by one strand.

"i know this must be hard for you, it's hard for us too, we had been planning on meeting you soon. He always spoke so highly of you. Saying all these medical breakthroughs, we were so excited for him. While his job always came first for most things, it seemed like you were his ultimate reason for staying there, and schedules just never worked out for a visit"

I gasped, as tears just started streaming. She led me gently to the couch, and pulled me into her chest, i felt tears fall on my forehand.

"I'm so sorry" i said in between tears. "i am so sorry"

"for what? you didn't do anything, if anything you gave him hope. He wrote about how all these daily battles and wars had really been getting to him, he wrote of how he was going to recruit a doctor who was young, but the best in her field. But how depressed he was, how much he missed home. But suddenly, after that letter his attitude changed. He joked about how his strength was improving, how this doctor had been trying some new medication on him. " she paused and wiped her eyes, then softly rubbed my shoulders.

"you. " she said " you changed him, he was always so stubborn, had an odd sense of humor. But once he started writing about you he changed. He showed more compassion. And he said it's all thanks to the doctor. About how he was excited to go out and do things, instead of spending his nights and weekends practicing, you my dear, did a lot. You made his life better, and in the end that is all we have" She said. She patted my hair.

I could finally feel my heartbeat resuming it's normal pace. "thank you" i said.

"Now... you are staying for dinner, Rick and i won't have you leaving without eating something" She patted my hand and went to the kitchen.

Rick walked in, looking exhausted. "sorry to have left, i had some things to take care of " he said.

I nodded, wiping the remaining tears off my face, and half smiling " a farmers work is never done?" i said

He grinned ear to ear , eyes looking upwards with a slight chuckle.

"i need to go get cleaned up, or she won't let me eat" he said with a wink, walking off.

I walked into the kitchen, asking if i could help with anything, it was a beautiful large kitchen, out the window you could see all the animals, and fields that stretched on and on.

i heard his voice in my head "and at night we can sneak out and sleep on the roof, you see the best stars up there angel" . I smiled to myself.

"can i help you with anything?" i asked.

"no no my dear, you just, sit there" she pointed to a seat and smiled, bringing me some more coffee. The most amazing smells swirled in the kitchen. As i sat as she softly hummed while working her kitchen magic. Dinner was delicious, we didn't talk too much other than bits and pieces about overwatch, and farming. After the meal was done, and i helped wash the dishes. Standing next to Mary, and feeling almost at home.

"so tell me, how did our son win you over? because, we always told him he had to have been lying about you" asked Rick.

"ah. heh. there was just something about him, he was very caring, and brave. He reassured me about my research not being weaponized, of course that changed but he tried everything in his power to stop it. When they came to recruit me, he just sat there, carefully explained everything, the man he was with... uhm, he was aggressive. Tried to force me into joining, But not Jack. He assured me of all the good i could do, and that was when i first started liking him." i said smiling. "and i am far from perfect, i was beyond lucky to have had him, more so than him having me"

"nonsense..." said Mary, wiping her hands off on a towel.

"Anyways, i should really get going" i said, i loved being here, but i didn't want to see the sun set, i didn't want to see the stars without him...

"do you know what you are going to do from here? now with overwatch being gone" asked rick

" uhm, no and yes. there's always wounds to heal... and research to be done" i said carefully, not sure what to do in actuality.

"okay dear, well... please keep in touch.. and give me a minute please" She scurried off.

Rick sighed "thank you for coming, she hasn't been this happy in months, you are welcome here anytime. "

"Thank you, I'm sorry if i upset you though..."

"you didn't upset me, i fear i upset you"

I nodded slowly "no not at all" i lied, looking at him physically hurt.

Mary came back with a box. "he asked me for something, to hold onto in the future for him, for when the time was right.. and well... here" she pushed the box into my hands "open it whenever you are ready, but not here"

"thank you, for everything, " i said softly. I hugged Rick, then i hugged Mary. Slowly leaving, clutching the box in my hands. I looked at the sky, the sun was setting, they were waving on their porch. I waved back and slid the box into the passengers seat. Starting up the car, i waved again and drove up at the beautiful sky, I turned on the radio and a familiar song blared out, right at the line "if you must die sweetheart, die knowing your life was my life's best part.." ...everything went numb inside. i drove staring at the sky and at the road. At one point i swear i saw the shadow of him, but my eyes must be playing cruel tricks on me. I pulled into the hotel with the box carefully tucked under my arm. Walking to my room i collapsed onto the bed. Setting my alarm, i would be flying out tomorrow, where? i don't know, i was just going to grab a ticket to somewhere and try to do something good, find something...

 **A/N: The song on the radio i heard this week and found it incredibly fitting, it's "you" by Keaton Henson.**


	16. Chapter 16

**A/N: I fixed the chapter i double posted by mistake!**

Getting to the airport was my last priority, i walked out with my bags, and threw them into the car, gingerly placing the box Mary had given me in the front seat, i still hadn't opened it. I couldn't bring myself to do it. I kept feeling like someone was watching me from a distance, but shrugged it off as paranoia from overwatch being deemed criminal. I tucked my hair behind my ears, the messy bun had proved once again to be indeed..messy.

I sat in my car, staring at the town, it seemed lost in time, everyone just milling about and waving. Catching up on gossip, i assumed. I would miss it here, but i could always return if my heart would let me. Being around Jack's father hadn't helped much though. I hated that, he was so kind and hardworking, jack truly followed in his footsteps in most ways. But the idea of looking at someone who lived to be older than jack, and looked like jack freaked me out. Which makes me feel ridiculously guilty. I spied a coffee shop and carefully got out of the car, locking it up, and walked over.

A TV was on in the corner. "News of the fall of overwatch is spreading, what will this bring to the world? could the terrorist groups rise again? or was overwatch in the lead of it?" announced the TV, i placed my order to go, and eyed the screen.

"shit" they used the photo of all of us with our medals, oddly i hadn't aged since then. i pulled my hoodie over my hair, and tried to blend in.

"New in town?" chirped the barista, she was small, with brown hair and green eyes.

"just visiting" i said softly. Hoping my drink would be made next, but no such luck.

"oh! i thought so, we rarely get visitors in this area! " she said brightly.

" news that one Gabriel Reyes could have survived the accident" said the TV.

Shit shit shit shit. Please no.. please don't... i could feel my heartbeat quicken.

"oh so you know one member of overwatch was from this town!" she excitedly said. "but he's dead now" she added, her face softening.

my heart pounded, as she finished making my drink, handing me the cup.

"see that's his picture with his overwatch team on the wall there" she pointed to it, then glanced at me, then back at the photo.

"oh.. i " she started.

I grabbed my drink and carefully put down the money plus extra.

"that's not me" i said quickly darting for the door.

"sure looks like... you" she started to shout after me.

I ran to my car, put the coffee in the holder, and started the engine. I need to get out of here, now. I backed up and sped down the road, making my way to the airport.

I gathered my bags, coffee and box, and made my way to the ticket sales person.

"where are you traveling too?" she asked.

I stared at the upcoming flights, then eyed the news stand, "war in Numbani many casualties" .

"Numbani" i stated.

The ticket woman looked at me with wide eyes "okay..."

We selected a time, and i was off to check in. My flight didn't leave for awhile so i decided to peruse the magazine stand, but news of overwatch was plastered all over them, including not so flattering photographs and taglines about all of us. I swore in German, finished my coffee and walked to a seat. Pulling my hoodie tightly around me, and trying to just sink into the crowd. Unfortunately the wait area for Numbani only held a few people. This wasn't new to me, i would often be the only one flying to war torn areas, helping with the sick. There were so few willing, for so many victims. For the first time in a long time, i was answering to no one. Soon i would be back on the field, tending to the wounded and hopefully saving lives. I wanted to message Jack, or Lena, informing them of my plans, but that would only risk her, and well... there was no jack to text, or check in with. Emptiness. Just a few more hours of waiting, scrolling the news on my phone with only the key words of Numbani. Apparently an unknown terrorist organization was attacking the area, injuring civilians for who knows what purpose. Maybe this was stupid... no... i cannot think that way. I'm helping people, without a team to protect me. Shhhh, you have done this for years, that's how you were recruited in the first place. I smiled for a second, picturing Jack and Reyes wandering through the makeshift hospital. i had a little office set up, so i could keep notes and tallies of supplies needed and patients who needed what. I could still picture the handsome man bending over questioning my patients where the doctor was. They all called me Angel, now I'm known as the angel of death... but then, then i was needed. He walked over to me, Reyes was chewing on a toothpick, looking bothered to even be there. But Jack started talking to me, and telling me about overwatch. At first i laughed in his face, explaining I'm a pacifist and that it's not a place i want to be, making weapons and fighting. He shrugged and tried to explain it to me.

But i was stubborn. I continued on with my patients, and then Reyes told me "you'll never be able to save the world and if you believe that by staying here is actually helping then you are a complete idiot". Jack had almost grabbed him and dragged him, instead i saw him angrily sigh and apologize to me. I went back to my work, but the next day jack returned, Reyes in tow again, he tried to persuade me by insults, and jack just quietly stood there. I had an assertive attitude back then, or maybe i was just annoyed because they kept distracting me. i agreed to a word with jack and jack alone. Reyes had sneered and left. But jack knelt down with me, as i bandaged a few people, he gave them words of hope and comfort, asked how he could assist me. Then when i finished with a number of patients we met in my office. we drank terrible coffee and he reasoned with me, maybe it was the way he treated me, or his words, I'll never know. He told me "yes, we do fight wars, but we fight wars to end them, to keep the peace. Your medical research would spread around and save more lives that way. You will have teams of assistants and more than enough supplies" . He continued reassuring me, but i told him i needed to finish with these patients first, to make sure they would heal alright. He agree to it, and even sat by a few bedmats, fetching water, and things they needed... shoot, I'm crying again. I wiped a few tears away with my sleeve, and got up to look for something to drink. I should probably cut the coffee out. At least for now.

I bought at tea and stared up at the news, more about overwatch, more talking about terrorist organizations. I'm doing the right thing, I'm doing what i started out to do. But no family, all over again. As if to rub it in further a happy little family walked by, jealously was setting in, i tried to focus on anything else. Hmm... overpriced protein bars.. perfect.I grabbed a few, paid for them and my tea, walking back to my seat. Any minute now they would start boarding the plane... I paced while drinking. Then heard that boarding was allowed.

I settled into my seat, and waited. Slowly falling asleep. After one plane to another i had finally arrived. We landed in one of the bigger cities, but it was plagued with devastation. Everyone rushing around, loading up vehicles, preparing for the worst. I walked to the first hotel i saw, checked in as all the employees stared at me.

"ma'am... uhm. why are you here?" one finally asked.

"I'm a doctor, I'm here to help" i said with a slight smile.

They just nodded and handed my my room keys. I didn't want to venture out too late, i knew better than that. I got the hotel as a one night thing, tomorrow i would probably be climbing around recent bombing zones, and other things, sleeping where i could. There is nothing to be done tonight, tomorrow begins the real work again. I was sleeping so much, but the jet lag kept catching up to me. I took a quick shower, trying to conserve a bit of water, but still allowing myself my last luxury before the storm.

Sliding under the covers and snuggling jack's letter to my chest, i fell asleep.

The next day i changed into sweats and my hoodie, a tank top underneath. I condense my gear, and followed the smells of fires. It was far, but the walking was helping clear my head, a sort of self healing and discovery sort of journey. I shifted my large backpack, and carried on. Noticing half destroyed homes, i carefully called out if anyone needed any help, nothing. I kept walking, and calling out, still nothing. When i stopped i heard a small sob. Turning i could see a small hand sticking out from a fallen house.

"hello?"

"yes" croaked a tired voice.

"don't worry I've got you" i said with certainty, i carefully moved a few small rocks, and began digging with my hands, clearing an opening to crawl into or out of.

"Can you move? are you injured?"

"i can move" said the small voice, both arms came towards me, i gently helped pull them out, out tumbled a small girl, clothes covered in mud and ash. Other than being exhausted and dirty she seemed just fine.

"where is your family?" i asked.

"they went into the town for help" she said softly. I handed her some water that she happily drank.

"think you can follow me for a bit? I'll take you into town, i just want to make sure no one else is here" i said.

She nodded. "do you know anyone's number you could call?" i asked.

She nodded again, i smiled "okay... here is a SAT phone, you can dial any number and talk to someone... okay?"

"okay" she said while dialing a number and sitting down with the water i gave her.

I finished out some snacks, and checked her pulse and lungs to be safe, all normal.

She was happily talking away to i believe her grandmother, i asked her to let me know where to meet them, apparently a makeshift hostel had been set up on the outskirts of town, how could i have missed it? ...oh well, I'm rusty at this.

I checked the other buildings or what remained of buildings, and when no one was found, i took the little girl's hand in mine and we started walking back.

"i just realized i don't know your name.." i said trying to make conversation.

"Abby" she said.

"ah, nice to meet you Abby" hopefully she wouldn't ask for my name, i didn't really have a good made up one yet... i had a temporary ID in case of emergencies that listed me as "Ella", but that was weird to me. We always tried names with some similar aspects to ours, so it caused a response. No looking like an idiot when you don't register your own name, if it's close enough you get a look of recognition.

We made it back into the town fairly quickly, upon arriving at the makeshift hostel i realized this is where I'm needed.

The next few weeks were full of bandaging, comforting and healing. I rarely had time to sleep, or focus on anything other than the sick and weak. It sounded completely horrible but it was so refreshing to not have the shadow of grief constantly looming. I made a few friends with people, and everyone was friendly enough. Luckily nobody recognized me, except as their doctor. I was however running low on supplies, but the wars seemed to be ending, i guess they got what they were looking for. Seems like it wasn't about dominating the country, more like collecting assets.

A few more weeks later and i was ready to head out again, to find another place to temporarily call 'home'. I walked back up to the hotel i was staying at the first night, checked in and drew a bath, the past six months melting off of me. I could have fallen asleep in there, in fact i was so used to sleeping on the ground the bed was almost too soft. But tomorrow was a new day, another place.

As i toweled my hair dry i flipped through the news looking for areas to go to. Fighting was happening all over, three months since overwatch had been criminalized. I could continue my work here, but everything seemed managed, and i needed to find another area to quietly work in. I held his letter in my hands and walked to the window, the entire city was looking better, but it was quite, almost too quite.

Thats when a blinding light fell from the sky, i felt my body fly into a wall. Warm blood covering my eyes. Glass shards in my arms and cheeks. My mind went into crisis mode, alarms started going off, i grabbed my medical bag and ran. Adrenaline coursing through my veins, sounds of screaming everywhere.

Looks like i wasn't done here yet. i pulled out a few shards and dumped them into the trash, running into the lobby and out the emergency exits. A group huddled outside, most covered in dust and blood. I pulled out a few more shards, everything on me was superficial, i assessed the people around me.

"I'm a doctor, now tell me who is in pain" they all looked wearily at me, "ah right."

"who knows a bit of medical knowledge?" silence again. I sighed.

"okay, first we must get to a safe area, can everyone walk?" i asked. Then i noticed one person with blood dripping from their leg, i pointed at two bigger men "can you help him get to safety? there should be a shelter a few blocks from here, it should be outside the zone" i said. Surveying the twenty or so people with me, some recording the whole ordeal on their phones.

"I'm going to go ahead of you, and make sure it's okay" i said , putting on the bravest face i could. I walked a block in front of them, checking my corners and above me, if this wasn't terrifying, i would have felt like my old self. The shelter was a just a block away when i saw a bunch of men in black, i stopped in my tracks. They had a few people with them, almost like hostages? maybe, i couldn't get a clear read, i backed myself into a building, carefully motioning at the group to stop.

I crept closer, trying to figure out the situation. When i heard an almost familiar voice, it almost sounded like Reyes, but it couldn't be... Everything was confusing, so i backed up, and crept back to the group who were standing in the rubble of a bakery. I went inside to join them and checked the back rooms. "okay everyone in the back, I'm going to lock us inside" i said as they filed into the room.

I locked all the doors, and started working on the wounded. Luckily the bakery had some first aid supplies as well, as my bag was running low. Nobody had too massive of injuries but it was a lot of work for one person. Hours went by. Some people mentioned that relatives were in the area and would house them. Everyone just working together, some people left, some stayed waiting to get a better idea of what happened and what to do. I just worked on injuries as i saw them. At some point i had pulled out all of the glass from my own body, thankfully, because it probably looked bad to have a doctor working on you, while still covered in blood and glass. A few people offered to house me, but truly i just needed to get away. Something didn't sit right with me about the whole attack, everything was seemingly peaceful, hearing a voice i thought i knew. Eh... probably nothing, probably exhaustion. Everyone had left, and i just gathered my things and made my way through the hotel i was staying at. Only parts of the building destroyed, namely near my room..now I'm just being paranoid, if it was an actual attack they wouldn't have set up the explosion like that. They would have made sure i was gone.

I'm just glad i always keep my letter and my box from in my medical kit, maybe as a reminder... or maybe because it's the one bag I'm guaranteed to watch out for.

Glass crunched under my feet, i pulled my hoodie closer around me and started walking in a direction away from the hotel...maybe the airport? eh. somewhere, anywhere.

Crunch crunch crunch, i stopped crunch.

"what a pretty little bird" came a voice.

i felt my heart race, immediately i began zig zagging down the street. Ducking into an alleyway, i caught my breath and listened. Silence, absolute silence, i slid down the wall, my knees hitting my chest and just sat. I pulled out my phone, the battery was dwindling, great... just great. Footsteps in the distance again, probably just you know...normal people, but my brain felt programmed to run. I ran to the end of alley, and started darting down the streets again, zig zagging around, ducking into any little areas that i could. Softly breathing, and surveying my surroundings. Get it together, you aren't being followed! you are paranoid! More steps, voices in the distance...it's nothing, it's a city recently attacked it's nothing. But that's not what my reflexes thought, i was off again, i must have ran an hour because i was in almost complete darkness, no city in site. If you stay exposed, and you are being followed you are basically waving a flag screaming "come get me!". It was dark but i could see a few cliffs in the distance, harnessing what energy i had left i crawled and climbed towards one. Thank goodness for doing some climbing in my free time with Lena. I pulled out my little flashlight and checked the small opening of a cave. Clear, of anything human Anyways. Tucking myself into a small corner, i leaned against it. I needed rest, but couldn't get my body to calm down.

Hours passed, i didn't hear a thing, just the soft hum of insects and helicopters, those don't usually strike me as odd. I got to watch the sun slowly rise and i could survey where i was. The middle of no where.

I turned my phone back on, and quickly located where i was on the map, then to the airport. I memorized it, turned off my phone to conserve battery. I usually carried extra batteries, but i wasn't thinking straight. The ground felt soft, and i started up running again.

A few hours later, with a few breaks to sip water and chew on a protein bar i carried for emergency victims. I started a jog again, trying to look intentional.

A transport pulled up to me.

"hey!" shouted a gruff voice. I kept running, acting like i had my headphones in, which i did, but as more of a defense mechanism. Suddenly it pulled in front of me.

"i said hey" shouted a voice, i tried to avoid looking up.

"FUCK OFF" i shouted, walking around the vehicle.

"now that isn't very nice" said the voice.

I looked over at him, i could see the symbol of blackwatch on his arm.

"fuck off please?" i said cocking an eyebrow.

" fine, you can die out here bitch" he said, laughing to his buddies.

I shrugged and continued, taking a few extra turns to make sure i wasn't followed.

Fuck blackwatch... why would they be following me? suddenly the transport reappeared. Fuck. Nothing but alleyways and little shops. Shit shit... i ducked into one, and sighed. I must look like a complete mess. The shop owner looked at me with concern.

"are you alright miss?"

"yeah I'm fine, just... long night"

"i hear you, I'm guessing you were around the explosion area?" he asked.

"yeah" i said carefully. Looking out the window, the transport was gone.

"do you need anything?" he asked kindly.

"uhm. just a ride to the airport" i sighed.

"oh it's just a few blocks away!" he brightly said.

"oh...thank you!" he gave me some directions, i bought some water and more protein bars and headed out.

Arriving at the airport was a slight comfort. i used my false ID, that completely worked, thank goodness, and bought a ticket to the next warzone. In Brazil of all places, something about corporations trying to buy each other out, bombs going off. it had been years since the omniac crisis, but i guess things still needed sorting out.

I went to the bathrooms and rinsed all the dirt off my face, and tried to remove it from my hair, but it was matted. Carefully combing it out with my fingers, i braided it back and applied a touch of makeup i had on me. I guess I'll make use of my time here and went looking around at the overpriced things in the airport gift shop.

New eyeliners and foundation, i carefully applied it, different than usual because let's be honest, i do not want to be noticed, i just need to blend in and look different. Easing into my chair i waited for the flight, and kept my eyes peeled for blackwatch, or anyone suspicious.

 **A/N sorry for this being so long, i don't want to exactly skip over the years leading up to the recall, but i also don't want to drag it out. Just let me know if it's bothersome, but i should finish up the 4 years in the next two chapters. It will probably be long, i apologize! Also, the history of overwatch is spotty about when they were disbanded and when they were recalled, so I'm just guessing around. Also, yes i know blackwatch was shut down as well. But ..eh I'll explain later. Because i want this to be a story, and not entirely told spoilers in authors notes!**

 **Seriously though, thank you for reading!**


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N: This doesn't follow tightly to canon, mostly because the history is spotty at some points but oh do i try. Also i apologize again if this delves too much into what she did while overwatch was disbanded. Also it's so long because... well! i lied when i said i had a few chapters to cover the years away! Whoops!**

Rio de Janeiro.

When i landed i could still see the dust settling,why the mayor turned down Vishkar, then got bombed, gave up Calado then went back to Vishkar was beyond me. I was just here to heal the wounded, not open an investigation. That would have been more up Jack and Ana's skill set. I smiled, the pain of losing them still ached but i tried to focus on thinking of their antics and procedures. It helped me stay on my toes. As i exited the plane, grabbed my bags and headed to the nearest medical supply store. I was running low on most supplies, and traveling with suitcases full of medical gear wasn't exactly going to work in my favor. I paid for the items and set out to Rio De Janeiro inner cities to look for the wounded.

Unfortunately the area seemed to be on tight lock down, apparently the Vishkar corporation had managed to enact some types of strict regulations, this would not bode well for me or any of the citizens. If overwatch... nope. Don't think about it, you are a doctor, you are here to heal and that's it.

I managed to get a hotel with the usual fake ID, just outside the favela's of Rio. The already deteriorating buildings looked worse. I knew at this time of night i wouldn't be able to get out and check on how people were doing. The attendant had informed me of all the new rules, and it is such a shame what is happening. i sighed, settling into bed and expecting a long day when i wake up.

The next morning i raced to get ready, i studied how people dressed and figured I'll just blend in my "I'm trying to be avoided" attire. Securing my hair in a messy bun and walking out, my medical bag in hand, luckily it never looking like a medical bag, just a big Mary poppins bag. I walked through the favela's, each one brightly painted, unique to the people living inside. I kept walking trying to gain my surroundings. I got a little too distracted by staring at all the buildings that i didn't notice someone on skates pummeling into me. i smacked into the ground, a kind face smiled at me.

"hey I'm really sorry!i gotta learn to watch where I'm going!" he said with a smile, i could hear music pouring from his headphones. I looked around me, some of the medical supplies were on the ground, sighing i started putting them into my bag.

"Hey! your not some kind of nurse are you? because man... my little sister has this cough, just won't go away you know? just cough cough hack, it would make a good back up beat if i wasn't so worried about her" he said while helping me.

" uhm. doctor actually" i said.

"alright! wait, no, I'm sorry i ran into you, and now here i am asking you to see my sister, sorry i get ahead of myself sometimes"

"actually, it's no problem"

"I'm not sure we can afford to pay you, but i promise we can make it up to you somehow" he sounded so sure and hopeful, his body swayed to the beat of his headphones.

" think nothing of it, it's what I'm here for, now... show me the way" i said, happy to have someone to converse with that was well.. upbeat for a lack of better explanation.

"alright follow me! I'll try to be slow"

"don't worry about it, i could use a run"

"trust me, you won't be able to keep up!" he said with a laugh.

I followed him, quickening my pace, but he was right... in my Valkyrie suit, sure... but not like this. He turned back every once in awhile and would skate in a circle around me.

"hey i just realized i don't have your name"

"well, i don't have yours either!"

"oh! it's Lucio" he said happily.

"ah, I'm an...I'm... fuck it, I'm Ella" i said, i hate lying. He probably wouldn't care who i was, or know who i was...

"alright cool! well here we are!" he stopped outside a green and blue painted favela. I could smell delicious food wafting out and the sounds of a family... a large family. "give me just one moment"

"HEY! i got a doctor lady with me, so. uh be nice! and she expects nothing! her name is Ella, and i gotta run" he said.

He darted out the door "i got something to do, but they will take good care of you, I'm already inviting you to dinner, which i am always back in time for!" he shouted happily.

I smiled and walked towards the door, a beautiful woman with welcoming arms greeted me.

"hello! welcome to our home!, I'm Lara and now surely you cannot accept nothing!"

"I'm a doctor, it's my job to treat patients not money" i said cheerfully as she threw her arms around me, and dragged me inside.

She showed me to the couch and told me to sit, i sat down and admired the place, it was so ...home like. Various pots on the stove, and various cords laying around.

Out from a room came a small girl, she coughed quietly at me and was being dragged by Lara, I smiled.

"hello there! I'm Ella! i wanted to hear that cough of yours" i said cheerfully, pulling my stethoscope out and motioning for her to sit next to me.

"I'm Amanda" she softly said and sat next to me. I asked her to breathe normally. Then to take a deep breath. I could hear junk rattling around in there, but nothing too serious.

"how long have you been coughing?"

"about two weeks, maybe more" said Lara, Amanda just nodded.

"i honestly think it's allergies to all this dust that has been happening" i said

"so what do we do?"

"um just a decongestant should clear it up, but i can frequently check in on her...actually... where is your nearest pharmacy?..i know there's one near my hotel but that's pretty far" i asked.

"uhm.. no, i believe in town would be the closest one, but i can run out and grab it" she said.

"none sense, I've got it... I'll be back in a little while. "

i opened the door and heard her break into a coughing fit, waaait. I shut the door, Angela you idiot, it's clearly asthma or something of the sort.

The next few hours of running what basic tests i could without an office, and running to the pharmacy flew by. It felt good to be working again, even in a small way. Lara had been cooking all day and the entire place smelled beautiful.

Off in the distance i could hear faint music approaching. Amanda's eyes lit up, the inhaler had been working and she was clearly excited to tell Lucio. He came rushing through the door, with a huge smile on his face.

"Hey! doctor lady, glad you are still here! oh man, Lara that smells incredible!" he said dipping a spoon into a pot and tasting it. "awww! you are gonna love it".

I smiled at him, and Amanda went rushing over to him.

"Lucio! guess what!?"

"WHAT?!"

She took a big breath in and out with a huge smile on her face.

"aw no way! that is awesome!" he shouted "thank you so much!"

"no need to thank" i softly said, it felt so comfortable here, it's a shame what is happening with Vishkar.

We all sat down to the most delicious dinner and wine. Lucio was constantly speaking of music and how he wanted to help the world from Vishkar, and that he just needed to figure out a way. Lara mentioned how many people needed more medical attention, which i happily agreed too, this is what i was here for Anyways, and Amanda was enjoying being able to breathe properly again as she kept telling us.

When it was time to head back for the night i felt genuinely sad, but returning tomorrow would bring comfort. Lara was going to introduce me to some people and i would feel a bit more normal again. Lucio 'walked' me back to my hotel, more like slow skated next to me, he wanted to make sure no trouble would come to me and to be completely honest i really appreciated it. After what happened in Numbani I've been on edge and haven't been able to shake the uneasiness that blackwatch was watching me. Plus the newly enforced curfew in town had people on edge. Arriving back at the hotel i felt sad to see my friend go, but he promised tomorrow would be great. As i settled into bed for the evening i finally felt slight hope for the first time in months.

The next month went by fast, constantly working and figuring out ways to get medicines to those in need. Vishkar was getting more and more controlling each day. The citizens were uneasy, so many eviction notices, people losing jobs... ones they had held for years, in some cases decades. Only to be forced into cheap labor for Vishkar. The whole thing was sickening. As much as i wanted to rebel and fight for everyone, the sad reality was i needed to keep my head down, blend in, and help those in need. I'm a doctor... I'm not Jack or Winston or Ana, I'm just Angela.

As another two months passed i noticed the tight knit community getting even more restless, the injustice upon them was becoming unspeakable and something needed to be done. Even Lucio's sweet and happy nature was becoming more distant... or maybe he just wasn't around as much. I caught him staring hard at my face many times, which slightly annoyed me... i had been trying so hard to just blend in and not look like Dr. Angela Ziegler. Maybe i am lingering here too long? maybe it's time to pack it up.

I was leaving another patients house when Lucio skated up to me.

"hey doctor lady, i had a question..."

"anything wrong?"

"naw... naw... so you know i make music?"

"i for one am shocked" i joked.

He smiled and rubbed the back of his neck " well... i don't know if you know but i do these underground shows" he slowly said.

"NO!" i said mimicking a shocked face.

"aw come on... you knew? i would have invited you earlier"

"of course i knew... and i just figured you thought i was too old for that"

"too old? for music! okay, no! you are coming!"

" uhm. i am kinda too old... what do people wear to these things?" i asked with a hint of embarrassment in my voice.

"i will hook you up! just come by my place in aaaah. hmmmm say like three hours, I'll get my friend Jess to dress you up!"

This was a new and exciting feeling, sure i ate a lot of dinners at people's houses, and socialized but i hadn't done anything really exciting in a long time. I constantly heard how amazing these underground shows were, that the energy filled the room and you could forget things for a while... i needed this, i needed this so much. I finished the rest of my visits and showed up at his house precisely three hours later. I knocked but a beautiful girl with long black hair and bright red highlights swung open the door.

"HEY! you must be Ella!" she exclaimed. "oh i am going to have so much fun with you!".

I nervously laughed "You must be Jess"

"that i am! come in! lucio said we were about the same size, so i just dragged up some of my other outfits, and i figured we could work something out from there." she said.

All over the floor were various items of clothing. Clothing i wish i could have worn when younger, but i would feel silly in now...maybe this was a bad idea...

"first things first, i can hardly tell your size by that jacket you are wearing" she stated.

I took it off reluctantly, and placed it on the couch. Then turned and looked at her, she walked over and instructed me to spin, which i did feeling foolish. Amanda peered out and sat on the couch watching the spectacle.

Jess smiled and grabbed a red corset, some fishnets and a red flame patterned skirt, "i have the horns to go with it!" she shrieked.

"aren't i... uh a little old to be wearing this?" i asked cautiously.

" you... old? pfft" she said putting the clothes in my hands and pushing me into the bathroom, she shut the door and i could hear her pacing outside. I slipped into the garments feeling foolish. I glanced into the mirror, i looked like a devil, not an angel, a lump formed in my throat... i need this... i need to be so far away from what i was known as and instead someone else. I took a deep breath and opened the door.

"Damnnnnnnnn" she whistled. She flitted around the room, and found a black short page boy style wig. " sit!" she instructed and i sat, as she brushed out my hair and twisted it up, then placed the wig on my head. She then produced a large makeup bag and started working on my makeup, dark smoky eyes, deep red lips, and a few dots around my eyes.

"now.. do you know how to put on false eyelashes or do you want me to do it?" she asked holding some large curly lashes.

" i... i used too" i stammered. She giggled and carefully applied them.

"now! boots and horns!" she squealed, placing the horns on my head and pointing to the shoes which i stuck on. "now! spin!" she instructed. i stood up, it had been a while since i had been in tall boots, not since Halloween... a blush crept onto my face and a deep longing in my heart swelled. I had been trying so hard to not think of Jack, but now he was all i could think of. She ran a grabbed a full length mirror, i couldn't even recognized myself.

"damn girl.."she whistled again. I blushed and hugged her. Then sat on the couch waiting for her to get ready. Lucio whisked through the door and stopped in his tracks.

"JESS! who is this?!" he yelled.

"hello lucio!" i said with a slight giggle.

"dammmmmn doctor ... shoulda invited you out sooner!" he said with a chuckle. Jess emerged from the bathroom, wearing a white version almost identical to what i was wearing.

"now we can match and burn up the floor together!" she exclaimed happily.

" Everything's ready, now it's time to go!" said Lucio, tucking a large frog mask under one arm. We walked fast, hiding in the alleys and darting around. Jess passed me a flask that i happily drank from, i needed some liquid encouragement . We finally arrived at a door leading down into a basement. I could hear a quite roar of people. He smiled and stuck on his large frog head and held out an arm to each of us.

Pushing open the door, we had arrived, it was magical, lights music ... dancing and energy. The crowd roared when the saw him standing there. Jess giggled and grabbed onto his arm tighter. "we gotta walk him to his stand" she said leaning back and shouting at me. I nodded, my heart racing. Once we got him to his platform he motioned us to stand near him. He started playing some amazing music and i let the beat take over me. Jess grabbed me and pulled me into a dance with her. Dancing with her was like the world melting away a little, being just in one place, not focusing on everything... everything i had lost. She grabbed my hand and jumped from the platform, bringing me with her, all the bodies swaying and bobbing to the beat, feeling like a small community of everyone needing so desperately to escape just for a little bit, before returning to the insane controlled state Vishkar had them all trapped in. I felt her arms circling my waist and pulling me against her, in a weird dancing bear hug. My heart raced and pounded with the beat moving with her, feeling invincible. She stomped around and i stomped with her, bodies forming into our space and warmth washing over me, she handed me the flask she kept with her, i took a large swig, smiled at her brightly, she took a swig and smiled back, then tossed her head back in a trance like happiness. This went on for hours and hours, then suddenly just ended, each group leaving carefully. My heart was still racing as she held my arm tightly, our voices hoarse from yelling, legs sore from dancing and stomping around. Lucio threw his arms around our shoulders, leading us out.

"thank you so much for inviting me, and helping me" i said to jess shyly, she smiled brightly and said " think nothing of it! i loved dancing with you, and helping you get all dolled up!" she grabbed lucio's arms and smiled at him coyly, he kissed her cheeks and smiled back.

"i knew you ladies would hit it off!" he said happily leading us back to his place.

"i should probably head back to my hotel"

"no no, it's too late and i don't want you getting into any trouble" he said "you can crash on the couch! " i smiled at the offer, to be honest returning to the hotel would be such a low point of my evening, forced to think of everything all over again, i just wanted to stay in this happy high bubble.

I washed my face off and changed back into my comfortable clothing. Lucio had put a pillow and some blankets on the couch for me. Jess was sitting there and i handed the clothes to her.

"i kinda want you to keep those" she said "and that's something i never do! so you have to accept them, and join us again next week" .

"thank you so much, and i would absolutely love too, anything i can do to return the favor?"

"naw, just always be my dancing partner" she said with a wink, Lucio appeared out of his room and wrapped his arms around her.

"and on that note! goodnight!" he said pulling her off into the bedroom.

I curled under the blankets, my ears still ringing a little but feeling happy, having this warm family feeling again made me feel safer again for the first time in a long time.

Before i knew it, three months had passed, doctor by day, secret underground dancer once a week with lucio and Jess. I adored them, everything about them was so comforting to me. His "family" was so welcoming to me, there was always more patients to tend too, and always delicious meals served as payment, sometimes even real money was offered, i accepted only when i needed it, i still had quite a bit from overwatch but who knows how long that will last.

As i was walking to a patients house i noticed i was being followed by a large black car, i dipped into an alley and hid for awhile until the coast was clear. I had inklings of being watched for the past month or so, i knew eventually it would happen. My safe happy bubble closing in, i hurried to the patients and warned them i couldn't stay long, tending to all who needed me.

I rushed over to lucio's house and sat shaking on the floor, another black car had been following me, but i made sure to duck around a lot.

"lucio, we have problems" i said walking in like i usually did. Then the image i saw completely startled me.

"lucio... what have you done?" i whispered.

Jess eyed me carefully, "we need your help... mercy" she said whispering.

"how.. how long have you known?" i asked my pulse quickening, i wanted to bolt.

" i had to do something, they were going to continue tearing down our homes" he said. holding his megaphone device, which i knew was vishkar technology.

I shook my head... "you could get into so much trouble, you knew who i was and still associated with me, and now this?" my voice cracked.

" don't worry, we only figured out who you were because oneday, it just..clicked. Doctor, blonde hair, super sweet... then your photos were surfacing online more frequently, you did a good job disguising yourself for so long... but we figured it out" he said.

"what do you need my help with..."

" so... i made this, but i was wondering if you knew of anything you could do to maybe... improve it... "

I sighed, looking at the device... he explained what he was trying to do with it, but he wanted it to be able to help beyond the amping.

"you want to add healing..." i slowly stated

"yes, ideally"

"okay... I'm going to need some supplies, but we cannot be seen, Jess you probably have a better chance of getting these things" i wrote down a few items on a list, things that i could use to modify and turn it into some sort of boosting nano.

The next few days lucio and i worked non-stop. I was constantly in a state of fear, i didn't want to leave, but i knew once this was done i had to run, and far... everything i had begun to love was now leaving again.

The healing portion was a bit crude, but it was an attempt. Chances are it would break in a few months, but at least i had tried, Torbjorn would have figured it out, but i couldn't. The idea was a sort of biotech field. Either way... he would be going out the following night to test it out and i would be already off to my next destination.

I carefully packed all of my things, including the box i never opened and the letter i never read. I added in the outfit Jess gave me as a reminder. It made me smile, and who knows... i could wear it again someday, if not Lena would get a kick out of it... Lena... i tried so hard to put her out of my thoughts. I hoped her and Jesse got together and were living life happily. A wave of slight jealousy pulsed, but i was happy for her regardless.

I ran over to lucio's one last time, i wrote down things for patients that needed to be done, and thank you notes to a few of my favorites, which as a doctor i shouldn't have... but you cannot help it sometimes.

Jess gave me a huge hug and kiss on the cheek. and lucio just held me for a few minutes.

"Thank you for everything" he said.

"no, thank you... in the past year this has been the happiest i have been..." i said softly.

Lucio had set up a friend to drive me to the airport, nobody knew who i was, except lucio and Jess, for that i was grateful, but for how long could i have lived like this?... how long will i live anywhere?

The next year and a half i spent in various locations, i was outside of Egypt, working in war zones. Helping the wounded and focusing solely on that. I had seen Lucio on the news, leading the people against Vishkar with his new toy. Everything turned out just fine for him, he seemed happy, he was even releasing an album. But my life It was a struggle, but i fell back into my old ways. Avoiding my life and dealing with medical things. Longing to study, and longing to create better medical devices...

I was sitting in a cafe in Nepal when i heard a familiar voice behind me. Practically talking in a hushed whisper, telling me not to be alarmed, and not to look around. The hair on my neck stood up. I had colored my hair brown for the time being, all the traveling and running was taking a severe toll on me, and i really didn't want to be figured out.

I carefully set down my coffee, left my tip and walked out the door. I heard soft footsteps following me as i went down an alley. My hand gripping the knife i carried with me. Why a knife? i needed something to tear bandages, ties, whatever patients needed, also for a bit of protection.

"you can put down your weapon Angela... you know me"

I spun around, face to... sort of face with Genji. I could have cried. I ran to him and wrapped him into a hug.

"What are you doing here?!" i whispered excitedly.

"learning forgiveness, and peace" he stated simply. "walk with me"

I followed him around, he spoke of his past few years, including studying with monks and a special omnic Zenyatta.

"he taught me to accept the new body i was given"

i could feel my eyes welling with tears. "i didn't mean to..."

"it was my decision to become this way, you asked which was much better than anyone else gave me. You gave me a choice and i accepted it... then i lost my acceptance and needed to become more... peaceful with the fact" he stated.

"that's good" i said, shuffling my feet a little.

"but i see that you are now sad, worried and overly troubled"

i laughed at that, of course i was... if he had people following him, and his life's existence questioned and lost everyone he loved i feel like he would feel the same way...wait. He would understand this better than anyone i know.

"come with me, let's get out of the streets, my flat isn't far from here" he said softly.

I nodded, i didn't have anywhere to be this evening Anyways. We walked a few blocks, weaving around the streets and arrived at a small adorable looking little cafe, with steps leading to another level. He slid his arms into mine and led me upstairs, carefully unlocking the door. He opened the door for me, i stepped inside, it was almost bare, a small table and chairs. A small bedroll in the corner and a nice kettle on the stove.

"please, sit..and would you like some tea?" he asked locking the door.

"i would love some" i said still peering around, his blades hanging on the wall. Photos of him and Hanzo, it brought joy to know that the photos were recent.

He set up the kettle and sat across from me. Although his mask remained expressionless i had spent enough time with him to understand his posture and slight changes in tone to know how he felt.

"How have you been?" he asked now that we were safely away from prying ears.

My jaw shook slightly, i hadn't been with anyone from overwatch in years.

"I'm trying" i said softly, as a few tears slid down my cheeks.

"i am sorry i left, but i did need to work on myself and my family" he replied.

"don't be, it all was going downhill Anyways, Reyes and Jack fighting... blackwatch... Amelie"

"I am sorry for your losses" he said carefully.

I could feel more tears coming, the kettle whistled and he went to grab it and poured a cup for me. Carefully straining the tea into the cup, then placed it in front of me.

" i just... I've been trying so hard to avoid everything, i feel like I'm being followed and i have no where to actually go. That I'm just wandering and hoping that i can help as many people as possible"

"i understand, go on"

" i just... i feel like i could have done more, worked harder to bring Gabriel and Jack together again... but in the end i think it wouldn't have changed things"

" Gabriel's heart was set on more, and Jack was just trying to hold things together, it didn't work, Gabriel was already corrupt beforehand"

"how did you..."

" Looking back and thinking over everything you can see that Jack's leadership was too much for him, they had been fighting side by side and felt slighted... but he wasn't meant to lead"

I took a sip of my tea, the warmth filling my throat, i smiled at him.

"thank you for this"

"it's not a problem, thank you for this" he motioned at his body.

"but how have you been, besides training and becoming one with peace?"

" ah, Hanzo and i have been speaking... i made amends with him"

"i don't think i could forgive Reyes if i tried" i said coldly.

" there will be a point when maybe you can, i think he was corrupted, much like Amelie... "

That made me stop and think, if Reyes had somehow been corrupted on his already fragile ego... it would have made him a good target for what went down with him, but that would make me forgive him killing jack, and i wasn't ready for that... not when i had this open wound inside my body that wouldn't heal. If Reyes hadn't done what he had done i could have had a real family with jack and our son... instead here i was, hiding from the UN, feeling sorry for myself, and throwing myself into emergency medical work instead of working on new methods and research. More tears appeared.

"i am so sorry Genji, i am so happy to be here with you, I'm so happy to have a familiar face"

" You should let your emotions come out, instead of bottling them, you will learn eventually to control them better, but for now you need to let it out, i see much is troubling you... and i know you haven't said it all" he spoke with such kindness that it only caused more tears.

"Angela, i think you should lie down for a while" he gestured at the back room, i could see a bed peeking out. Weird for him to have a bed since he doesn't sleep... but then again it could very well be a friend or someone's...

I sighed finishing my tea "thank you" i said softly going into the bedroom and laying down. The tears kept falling, everything i had been storing away flowing out. I heard a soft knock at the door, and in walked Genji, he sat on the edge of the bed and softly stroked my hair.

"i am sorry for what has happened to you and to overwatch" he soothed.

I rested my head on his leg, it was surprisingly comfortable for being a form of metal. I calmed down a little bit.

"i just.. i cannot believe how everything just happened, it just all got destroyed and nothing can be done about it"

" If you continue working as you do, then overwatch never really died, overwatch was more of an idea"

"but i had family there, well the closest thing to family i had"

"if i may be bold, i was part of overwatch too, and i owe you a great deal of debt, as does Hanzo. You are welcome to stay here for as long as you like, to come and go as you please" he said rubbing my back carefully. My heart rate steadied and i sat up.

"do you mean that?"

"i wouldn't lie" he said. I smiled a true happy genuine smile at him. Finally a place to call "home" and not have to live out of a hotel or tents constantly. I could still travel and come back here... relief washed over me.

" thank you so much, i cannot possibly express how i feel about this, just thank you" i squeezed his hand in mine.

"now, you should probably rest, this is where Hanzo sometimes sleeps, but i know he won't mind as he has many places he calls home, and he rarely has reasons to come to Nepal" said Genji kindly.

"i should probably go back to my hotel and get my things"

"don't worry about it, I'll take care of it for you" he said.

"thank you again"

"you can stop thanking me, i am alive because of you"

He later returned with my bags, and carefully stuck them into the room. i had restless sleep for the past year and tonight was no exception. He noticed me stirring in my sleep and sat watch, softly chanting which lulled me to sleep.

I woke up hours later feeling more rested than i had in years, ugh, i could say that now... years. Genji wasn't there when i woke up but i found a note that he was going to see Enya today, and a key nestled into the note. I scribbled one back to him while pocketing the key. I had some work to do, but it would be hours away from here, helping more people. I didn't know when i would be back, but i left my regular cell number for him in case of emergencies.

More and more war and violence kept me away from Genji for six months, i never expected to be traveling out there for so long, especially in one area. I tried reaching Genie to let him know, but he was going to Hanamura for a little while. I returned to the flat Anyways and enjoyed the non-hotel environment. I made tea and curled up in bed, scribbling down some notes in a note pad i kept on me. I was researching how to make biotech fields more powerful, but i lacked the supplies to actually experiment. I helped out at the local shelters for a few weeks, that turned into a month.

When Genji returned we ate a meal together, well i ate and he observed as i described everything to him. I curled up with the local paper, wars going on everywhere, gangs getting more powerful. None of this would have happened under overwatch's eye. I could feel my heart sinking again. Genji turned his head at me, our on and off living together was making us more aware of each other, well he was more aware in general.

"what?" i said knowing he was about to ask what was on my mind.

"you know what i am going to ask" he stated... creepy? eh, it was Genji.

"i just, i miss my lab, i miss doing research, not that i don't love helping people because i do that is my main goal. But without funding and without my team i just, i can't do anything. I'm regular, i used to make things that could heal multiple people at a time, instead i have to watch people die as they wait for medical care"

"i see"

"yeah, well. That's what's bothering me"

"would it help if maybe, i could get you some things?"

" i mean, yeah... but how is that even possible?"

"there are legal ways, and there are Hanzo ways, and Genji ways" i could detect a slight sense of excitement in his voice. Since he had become more Zen, you hardly heard the joking side of him, or the rambunctious side. I couldn't help but grin at him brightly.

Another five months passed, my life filled with jumping from war zone to war zone. Whenever i had a free moment i would scribble down ideas, things that would be more efficient to the general population and not just my old team. This would involve more readily available prosthetics, while i could regenerate most body parts i didn't have years upon years to study it on normal civilians, before normalizing it. That nagged at me though, i could heal so much, but half the time people lost limbs. Buildings crushed the bones beyond repair. I had some serum i used to regrow bones, but i didn't want to experiment on people without fully detailing the process, and in war zones there isn't time for that.

I had been working on a smaller Caduceus staff, one that could be used in the field on regular humans, but the problem was, they didn't have the nano injection, so it wouldn't work, the staff helped amplify the effects of the nanobots. So this wouldn't work without a lot and i mean a lot of work. I could easily give shots on the field and use it, but the lasting effects are unknown, typically good. But there could always be the one that it could bring more harm than good too.

When five months later i got the call about violence in Dorado, i packed my bags immediately, innocent civilians getting caught up in gang violence. Genji offered to come but i shook my head, he had dealt enough with gangs, but if i needed him i would call.

There had been some earthquakes there and ran into a lot of doctors out in the fields, a little rouge like me. They left their jobs to aide in the rescuing of lives. I wish i could have been that honorable, i used to be that honorable, but now i had no choice. Well, i could just as well not do what i was doing... i did have some sort of choice. Oh well. As we all were preparing to leave another cleared disaster zone a doctor grabbed me by the arm, he was nice, okay to look at but i felt nothing for him, so when he invited me out on a date i just responded with "okay". He looked almost shocked, I'm not ready for a date, it's been years, but my heart still ached, i couldn't even bring myself to read Jack's letter or open the damn box.

The entire 'date' was uncomfortable, outside of the field he was cocky, arrogant and pushy. I almost left after getting my wine, and bread. I could feel myself counting the number of people in the restaurant, i hoped i didn't look visibly bored. At least i dressed up for the first time in... years. Genji had taken me out for my birthday and demanded that i bought something nice for myself and that was about it. I started twisting the bracelet on my arm, politely nodding and trying not to gulp the wine. When the food arrived i just really wanted to leave, he was the complete opposite of me, everything he said annoyed me. What the hell am i even doing this for? is it because it's been over three years? i spun the bracelet harder, taking small bites of food. It's been over three years since the fall of overwatch, and... longer since losing Jack. I drank some more wine, trying to make myself less tense. All it was doing was annoying me more. I declined desert and said "i really should be heading back to my hotel, i have to pack and fly out tomorrow" .

He was beyond unpleasantly drunk at this moment, i needed to leave, now. I thanked him and walked out the door, but i could hear him following me.

"hey..." he laughed, catching up with me "i paid for your dinner"

"and i thanked you, that was very kind of you, but i must go"

"what's the rush?"

i sighed, I'm in no mood for this "i told you, i have an early flight"

"awww, come on, i can make it wor-" i cut him off

"No, you will not make it worth my while, you have already wasted my time, and now i need to start getting ready to leave" i sped up my walking, but he was in pursuit.

He slammed me against the wall.

"Doctor Angela Ziegler, i paid for your dinner"

"And i thanked you, so kindly FUCK OFFFF" i screamed, squirming out of his grip, he knew my name, fucking prick, knew my name.

"also... that's not my name, but i appreciate the compliment" i spat at him. I really should know better, i didn't have a team watching my back anymore, i didn't have anyone really. Genji had been training with me whenever he was around, so i didn't fall out of practice. I started running.

I heard rustling and footsteps all around me. Fuck, fuck. it's fucking late, and Los Muertos would be prowling at this time of night. I slid into a doorway. My heart racing, carefully looking around me. I heard nothing, then i saw the glowing tattoos. Shit shit shit.

I had been known to run in heels, but these streets kept snagging them. I pulled them off and chucked them down an alley, hoping the sound would distract them momentarily.

It worked, a little. I heard my charming date yelling after me " not safe this time of night for bitches!" a loud laugh following him.

How... could i have been so stupid... it was free wine wasn't it? , the chance to feel normal again? idiot. I reached for the small knife i kept on me for emergencies, and bolted. My feet making the softest sounds on the ground. Zigzagging and darting around, i would call Genji but he was more than hours away. I could see the light of the hotel looming in the distance when SLAM, my body hit a wall. I slid down. No no no no... this isn't how i go. I could feel my body aching and trying to resist standing,but i jumped up, staring at the glowing face in front of me.

"HEY boys! i caught her" he shouted with a laugh. I hated doing this, i hate hurting anyone, but... sometimes you have too... i heard jack's voice in my head, telling me that it's okay.

I looked at the Los Muertos member where his tattoos indicated is eyes were, slightly smiled, then dragged my knife across his neck, non-lethal but startling, blood gushed out... but i knew how i cut to avoid nicking any main arteries, just enough to make him bleed.

"Stupid Bitch! the stupid fucking bitch cut me" he yelled as i took off again. With only a block left to go, i swerved down an alley, trying to throw them off my destination, but a few members were on my trail. When suddenly i heard a soft firing sound, bodies falling and screams of death.

I turned, bodies being shoved into dumpsters, a muscular figure wearing some sort of red glowing mask dumping them there. He was making a growling noise and just, tossing the bodies. This must be the vigilante people have been talking about, i heard rumors and saw little sketches here and there of him. But never in person, he walked towards me, throwing his gun over his shoulder.

"thank you" i said softly, if i didn't know any better that figure was Jack, or the ghost of jack... which means I'm going crazy and probably exposed myself to far too many chemicals.

He grunted, and reached into his pocket, handing me my heels.

I cocked an eyebrow "thank you?" i said a small laugh almost coming out. If i hadn't been absolutely terrified a few moments prior, i probably would have though of something more... thankful? It was hard to get a good look at him, but he walked away almost immediately. I held my shoes in my hands and made my way to the hotel, feeling as though i had eyes on me the entire time, but this time watchful eyes. Not evil.

I collapsed into my bed, i switched rooms out of fear and pulled out my phone looking for more information on the vigilante. Everything reminded me of Jack, except a more unstable Jack. I couldn't sleep the entire night and instead took a long long bath, and watched the news, Nepal was under attack again, so was Hamamura, natural disasters left and right... Nothing made sense the world was going completely mad. I felt around my suitcase and sighed, it was time to finally read it.

"My Angel,

If you are reading this... Well, you have this letter, and you have been told I'm dead, hopefully from something noble and not tripping over your papers. I love you, I'm not so sure I'm good at writing these, it feels darker than necessary but i wanted you to know. That i do love you, at least i know i told you that already. Please know that in my life, you have been the single most important thing to me, and i wish we could have settled down somewhere because you know we would never retire. Fighting off gangs, while you try desperately to heal them and change them for good. There is such good in you, Angel. I didn't know i could meet a kinder and more compassionate person in my life, or somehow convince her to love me back. I didn't know i was capable of it.

You are incredible, strong, loyal and brave. I love you, in all my years serving death always seemed like it was part of the job, but with you in my life i have never felt more motivated to fight for what is right and honorable, to keep you safe.

I love you, and i hope that there is indeed world peace in your lifetime, because if anyone can accomplish that, it is you. Don't let anyone walk over you, i know you have stubbornness in you, that's part of your charm, use that when you need it and don't worry too much about others feelings when you need to take care of your needs first.

I also hope that some nights you actually fall asleep in your own bed, instead of your desk. You work too hard sacrificing yourself, but i understand it. Just know that writing this letter already makes me feel such regret, because i know i won't have accomplished what i wanted. You still have time Angel.

I love you."

Suddenly all of the pain rushed back, curling into the tightest ball, and sobbing openly. I reached around for the box his mother had given me, since it hurt this much i might as well yank the wound clean open. But my eyes got so heavy and swollen from crying that i just curled around his letter and the box. Light streamed through the windows in the morning, i knew i was headed back to Nepal, more explosions, whether natural or unnatural, everything was a disaster. I shoved the rest of my items into my bags, and headed for the door, carefully pocketing the box and letter. That stupid doctor from last night still creeped me out, the thought of him knowing who i really was was bothering me. I tried so hard to blend in, frequent hair coloring, always changing various shades of brown. I did black once but it seemed too dramatic, but i was considering it again. I got onto my flight and ignored most of the passengers, Going to Nepal during war or natural disasters wasn't exactly their idea of a vacation either. I noticed a few other doctors and nurses i had worked with. Shit, i should have redone my hair. Instead i pulled the hood up tighter and stared out the window.

Hours later i arrived in Nepal, darted through the airport collecting my things and jumping in the first taxi i saw. I never parked anything at the airport anymore, it was too risky. I messaged Genji that i was on my way home. Our town looked untouched by anything. I would rest up for the night here before taking the train to the disaster areas, i needed time to work with Genji and resupply my medical kit.

Maybe it was time that i took some of my experimental medications into the field... no no... too risky, and i don't want anyone getting hurt, that is the opposite of what i do. I sighed. Genji walked in as i was furiously scribbling down some more notes. I jumped a little and rushed to hug him.

"hello friend" i said, as he returned my hug.

We caught up on everything going on,he briefed me on the situation in the middle east, and i explained of my plans to travel there and help, which he already knew. I told him of the weird encounter in Dorado, how i felt like Jack was still out there and he listened. Then he softly spoke.

"i thought it was good that you went on a date, but that clearly didn't go as planned, but at least you tried, but now you think your dead boyfriend is back?"

" they never found the body" i said softly, as good of a friend as he was, this was rather rude of him. If anything i thought he would have been supportive, or at least looked into it with me.

"yes, but there was almost no chance of survival"

"we don't know that... they already think Reyes is somewhere on the loose" i choked out, my throat getting tight just thinking about that entire mess.

" i don't know what to tell you, but i will tell you this, move on with your life, go forward not backward"

He was right in a way, if it was Jack, he would have reached out..or something, it had been years and my mind was probably just trying to finally let it all go.

"I'm really tired, I'm going to go lie down" i lied, giving him a quick hug and heading to the bedroom. I sat on the bed, and pulled out the box. Hands shaking i opened it, inside was a letter, clearly written by Mary, and another written by jack, but only part of it. Something small rattled inside of the box, a small silver ring. I blinked back tears, this is silly of me. Why would she give this to me.

"Angela, i had always hoped to meet you. With my son of course, never under the circumstances in which we did. As i write this you are talking with Rick, and it pains me to know that we all lost someone we loved. He was always a good stubborn kid. My only son, and child, we had always hoped for him to settle down with someone, have grandkids... but we figured that life wasn't for him.

But then he met you, as i told you i had never seen that side of him. He always was so goal oriented about fighting for justice, and peace... but when he started writing about this doctor, we knew... we knew he had someone else to fight for.

He asked me for the ring, as it was my mother's. She always intended for it to be kept in the family, our family is all gone now, he was all we had left and we figured you should have it. I've included what he has written, because it was for him to tell you, not me.

I hope it brings you comfort and not sorrow.

Take care of yourself, you will always be welcome in our home.

\- Mary"

I sighed, pulled out the brief statement he wrote.

"Mom, i know this might be strange, and don't get overly excited because it's not going to happen for a long time. We both have our own paths we need to take, but if you could. I would like to have the ring. I want to have a symbol for her so she knows how valued and special she is to me, and to all she helps"

The letter abruptly cut off, i guess his mom kept the rest. i couldn't help but smile at how he wrote to his mother, so typical Jack, direct, to the point. I carefully slid the ring on my index finger, no sense in wearing it on the ring one. But it would be nice to have the reminded of him. Someday if i ever see our son again, i can give it to him... tears dropped down. It had been years since i had let our son go.. He would almost be four now, hopefully living a happy life... maybe in a few months i will go to near Anubis, try to reach out to Pharah and visit... there... that's better, maybe? almost four years... lightly punching the pillow i twisted around in the sheets trying not to sob. Genji could always tell when i am crying and i am in no mood to handle this today, i don't want questions i just want to cry. But sleep came and soon it was morning. I had touched up my hair in the bathroom, the darkest brown i could find, it worked... i didn't look like me without being too over the top. I missed my platinum locks, but it wasn't meant to be for a bit.. I'll be fine, people are dying and I'm complaining about hair...

The next five months flew by, i avoided most interaction with the other doctors and nurses, except to discuss supplies and patients. I performed a few minor surgeries, which felt good to finally put that knowledge to use again and to be able to save people.

I boarded the train and went back to the flat. Genji was sitting and meditating, i carefully closed the doors behind walking to my bedroom, i had to continue with an experiment i left off on. I was trying to up the dosage of nanotech into one's body. I wasn't exactly the best candidate for the cause, since i was exposed to so much during my years at overwatch. But i still had been giving myself injections, trying to up the healing, it worked in i heard a shrieking noise from my bag. Genji darted up and we heard another one in the corner of the room.

"what the hell?" i ripped open my suitcase, it was the communicator Winston had given us.

my heart sank, he must be in trouble, but a video loaded. There was Winston looking hopeful. Recall...

 **A/N : once again sorry for the length! i hope it's okay, i just wanted to put the rest of her years away into this. Let me know what you think if you wish!**


	18. Chapter 18

**A/N: Hello to all the new readers! and to my regular readers.. you guys are fantastic! thank you! This chapter is shorter, i apologize!**

Recall:

Genji and i stared at each other blankly, my eyes were leaking tears faster than i could stop it. We knew where we needed to go, and when we needed to go.

"we should go separately, to avoid any suspicions" he said finally.

I nodded, i cannot believe this is happening, this is a dream, finally back with the only family i knew! I furiously packed my bags, and hugged Genji tightly.

"i will see you when i see you!" i said excitedly. It was like i had won some sort of lottery, i could stop aimlessly going into war zones alone, i could stop being so damn lonely. I hadn't felt this alive in a long long time. As i sat on the plane my heart started to sink, he wouldn't be there... Ana wouldn't be there... no no... i shouldn't think that way, i should never think that way. This is to honor their memories. What they started needed to be brought back, the goals the dreams could all become reality again.

I had a few random stops and flights to take, i made sure to make my itinerary as chaotic as possible. My clothes as plain as possible, and luckily i touched up my hair the other week before returning. I settled on black again, it made me look more inconspicuous than my platinum locks. It was also a good change of style for me. I smiled to myself, and twisted the ring on my finger. I could finally find out how my child was doing, and at least feel somewhat like a mother. Four years is a long time though, he wouldn't even know who i am, or anything. Sighing i settled into my next flight. I must have fallen asleep for a while because i woke up to the plane landing, i scrambled to make my next flight and the next, then a train.

I walked the rest of the way in the snow, trying to avoid any real interaction. I still had miles to go, so i stopped off in the woods and sat for a few minutes to rest, carefully avoiding being seen. I had a new filthy habit, i smoked every once in a while, hysterical for a doctor right?

I could have just easily curbed the habit using a simple medication, but i chose not too, mostly because i wanted to study if it would damage my body in any way. After all McCree had been smoking his entire adult life, and my healing and Nanotechnology proved to be quite effective. I inhaled the fragrant smoke and looked around, nobody was coming or going, which was comforting considering the past few years i had numerous close calls with blackwatch. I brushed myself off and continued walking, letting the ash fall as a i walked. Another hour to go, ugh, why did i chose to walk? wait... i didn't bring my suit or my caduceus.. shit. oh well, maybe Winston grabbed it for me? he initiated the recall, he knew where it was located... I took up a light job and pulled my hoodie over my head more, trying to just look like a hiker i guess? . The large backpack full of my recent research. Ahhh research, soon a lab again, saving my friends. I could see the building in the distance, panic and relief washing into me at once, i lit another one and kept walking. I blew out a large cloud of smoke when i heard a familiar southern drawl behind me. I spun around and squealed "JESSE!" .

He looked startled, so did Lena, i guess they didn't recognize me from the back.

"well... hello there!" he said brightly.

Lena shrieked and had her arms wrapped around me tightly in no time. She knocked my smoke out of my hand and rolled on top of me.

"ANGIE!" she kept shrieking with happy laughter and tears. I tried to sit myself up but it was a very turtle like situation with the size of my backpack being under me.

"LENAAAAAA" i shrieked back. Jesse offered us both hands to get us up. Once vertical again i grabbed Lena's hand.

"how have you been!" i asked excitedly as we all walked together towards the base.

"oh ya know... missin' you!" she squealed. "ow's bout you love?"

"eh...long story, better discussed over something" i replied, i wanted to spill everything, but i just was just so excited to see her i didn't want to get into depression right away.

As we approached the door we could hear roaring laughing of Reinhardt and Torbjorn.

Lena raced inside dragging McCree and i with her, "ELLO LOVES! " she shouted happily.

I couldn't hold back the tears as i hugged them all. Winston engulfed me in a huge hug.

It was just me, Lena, Torbjorn, Reinhardt and Winston. All standing and smiling at each other.

"we have work to do, and catching up to do, i feel like we should all train before we even attempt field work" stated Winston.

"but tonight my friends, we celebrate!" shouted Reinhardt.

"i do have some good news for all of you" said Winston happily, we all got quite and stared waiting.

"Ana is alive, she will be joining us later but she is working on recruiting some newcomers" he said with a huge grin. I sunk into a chair.

"but how did she?"

"it's Ana love! ow' could she not!" chimed Lena. i felt my heart swelling with happiness, happy tears streamed down my face as the rest of the group cheered.

"always knew she would pull through" said Torbjorn, taking a swig from his flask.

As much as i could feel the weight of traveling so much, i still felt the need to socialize, my body was tired but my spirit was flowing with joy. If only jack could see this.

"oh! genji will be on his way later" i said

"now i don't know about all of you, but i could use a drink" said McCree, waving a large bottle. I sighed and reached into one of my bags pulling out some vodka.

Reinhardt disappeared and rolled out a barrel. We all poured our selected drinks and toasted to our little family.

"so... love! who are the new recruits?" piped up Lena,

"they will be revealed when the time is right, i don't want to get any hopes up without knowing" said Winston. I nodded and took a large swig, alcohol was doing nothing for me lately, i could drink and drink and only feel slightly drunk, i should probably include this in my notes. I took another swig, trying to catch up with the team.

"So! torbjorn and i had some run in's with some large bears a while back, and he tried to set up a turret, only to have realized his back was facing the den of little cubs! So the mother bear, she's angry and the next thing i know Torbjorn is flying through the air and lands in a giant mound of snow" regaled Reinhardt. I couldn't help but giggle at the mental image.

This evenings theme was lighthearted stories, i unfortunately had none unless i mentioned Lucio, Genji and i had mostly just laid around relaxing and working on things...

"Right! so! Jesse an' i were visiting this neat little arcade, and there's this hammer and gopher game, welllllll he got so frustrated that he ended up pulling out the peacekeeper and shooting six shots into the poor machine, the little gophers were smoking, there was fire and welllll that's how Jesse got banned from an arcade" laughed Lena.

" those pests had it comin' " uttered Jesse.

"oh i'm sure they did, horrible... uhm Varmits!" i said trying to mimic jesse's voice. Lena almost dropped her drink. She stood up and posed herself like him "I'll getcha! you, you little varmits! pew pew pew!"

" now darlin' you know peacekeeper... she doesn't PEW..." argued Jesse exhaling a large puff of smoke.

" Winston, what have you been up too?" i asked, he had been so quite i didn't want him to feel left out.

"oh, well you know me. Just... working with Athena, and repairing some old equipment" he said shyly.

I took another swig, and started to feel warm, i carefully removed the hood from over my head. I had completely forgotten that i had a hat on, my long freshly dyed hair fell down as i shook it out.

Silence.

"uh?" i said cocking an eyebrow.

"how did i miss this!" shouted Lena "you've got punk!"

"i have not! i just needed a change"

"oh love.. " she said sympathetically.

"what... does it look that bad?" i asked feeling suddenly extremely self conscious.

"no..no it's just... it's just.. so far from you!" her eyes looked concerned.

"well, i had to do it, can't be running around playing doctor with my face and hair" i took another swig and started putting my skull cap back on.

"now don't go ahead and do that, we were just worried, that's all" said Jesse

" it's hair... it's not something to worry about, i ran into some bad people and i needed to go into deeper hiding, nothing more to discuss" why... why was i acting this way. This is my family and I'm suddenly defensive at their worry. I forced a smile "sorry... bit touchy, multiple flights, followed... I'm a little on edge" . They smiled and nodded, and Jesse started talking about Lena running marathons dressed as a giant marsh mellow.

"but.. why a marsh mellow?" asked reinhardt trying to hold back one of his loud laughs.

"oh! it was one of those weird races, where you need to do all these obstacles! so you dress all funny and have at it! figured if i fell it wouldn't hurt!" she said defensively.

The very image of her in a giant marshmallow costume almost sent me over the edge, i laughed so hard i cried. Quickly downing another drink and taking a drag on Jesse's cigar. We exchanged smiles.

"somehow all your doctor business has been keepin' us on the healthy side of life" stated Mccree with a huge smile.

"ah! that is excellent to hear, i will be taking medical reports in the morning, i want to make sure everyone is in tip top shape" i said eagerly, being back here was so good for my mind. All the things to accomplish, study and experiment on.

Winston was quietly observing all of us, you could see a smile creeping onto his face laughing and taking everything in.

I couldn't help but disappear into my own head... what is Jack was really still alive, and hadn't reached out to me? Would he re-join us, or would he just stay the vigilante i suspected him to be. That stupid proud man... My mind drifted further... the warmth of the alcohol finally getting me tipsy. I could almost picture him here laughing and reminiscing with us. His strong always warm arms wrapped around me, finally without being controlled by higher ups, we could be at peace to be ourselves. That's silly... it's been years. Years where he could have reached out to me if he wanted too. If he really cared at all, or maybe this was his way of caring. Who knows how long he could have been following me? all those run in's with blackwatch ex-agents... could he have been fighting for me this entire time and i was too thick to realize it?

I felt a slight jab into my side "hey ange... you alright love?" said Lena softly. I nodded slowly, taking another swig of my drink.

"I'm fine" i stated.

"i know.. this is hard, without all our usual friends, but hey! we all got ya! " she comforted. a half smile crept onto my face.

"i think i just need some rest..." i looked at Winston.

"ah yes, rest up, tomorrow we will begin all your vigorous medical tests" said Winston, he held out a hand "I'll show you to your room" he said leading the way.

With this being one of the many hidden locations Winston had at his disposal it was practically a mock up of the one in Sweden, just a bit smaller. He opened the door of a room near the medical bay, "here you are Angela" he said.

"thank you Winston" i pulled him into a hug, tears streaming down my face "i cannot thank you enough for this" .

He embraced me and smiled wiping my tears away " it's been a long time coming, I'm glad you answered the call" he said. He let his arms fall and padded back to the group.

I sighed, yanking my bags into the room and switching into Jack's old Aerosmith shirt, it fell to my mid thighs and was always such a comfort to me. He would probably kill me for taking it. It took him so long to track down a vintage "Get a grip" tour shirt. It had a few wonderful worn in holes. Every time i would try to steal it from him he would chase me around the room, tackling me gently and pulling it off me, then showering me with kisses and tickles. Well... if he is still alive, then i rightfully earned this shirt. He had plenty of old band shirts he went through a punk phase, as did i... shocking i know... Aerosmith wasn't exactly punk, but he loved them all the same. His rob zombie shirt was also tucked away, hysterically we shared the same shirt, only his was obviously a different size. I sat on the bed and pulled my knees under the shirt, slowly drifting off to sleep, dreaming of Ana's return.

 **A/N: next chapter is loooong, so i wanted to split this one apart from it! i apologize for the shortness, there was no other way to do it!**


	19. Chapter 19

Waking up back in an overwatch base felt like a dream. I could smell Reinhardt cooking bacon and eggs. I switched into my emerald babydoll dress and black leggings with some boots i fell inlove with. The heels clicked around as i wandered into the kitchen.

"ah! goot morning my friend! care for some breakfast?" cheerfully asked Reinhardt. Torbjorn was already devouring his. I noticed a lack of Jesse and Lena and smiled to myself, At least they are happy.

"i would love some, it's been a long time since i had something like this" i responded happily, retrieving a plate as Willhelm placed an egg and toast onto my plate, i would have gone with bacon, but i had been trying to cut back on meats. I grabbed a cup of coffee and sat at the table giggling as torbjorn wiped some grease off his face. It was incredible, i forgot what good home cooked meals were like, Genji wasn't exactly a chef and ever since leaving Rio i hadn't had the opportunity of cooked meals, just reheated.

"i haven't had food this good in... years" i admitted.

"hey!" came a voice from the corner. shit... genji

"oh... i mean. your food was great, the way you reheated that ramen that one time... excellent" i teased.

Genji resumed his meditative pose, i could tell he was scowling at me slightly.

"oi! no need to get your feelings hurt love! we will let you prove your culinary skills to us!" said a sleepy voiced Lena.

"i would rather not" replied Genji.

"suit yourself partner" said Jesse with a laugh, grabbing some food and sitting next to me. Lena had already raced to grab herself a plate, but ended up picking off of Jesse's as well. For how tiny she was she certainly could eat like Willhelm.

Winston padded into the room "good morning agents! i hope you found your accommodations acceptable"

" wonderful Winston, thank you so much" i said brightly. It was true, my usual nightmares hadn't visited me. Normally no one noticed in the field, but Genji would often shake me awake and hum me back to sleep. It was usually a reply of all that had happened. Dead bodies, dark shadows... the like.

I carefully rinsed my plate and turned looking at the group after grabbing another steaming mug of coffee.

"who will be my first patient?!" i asked.

Everyone cowered a little.

"not all at once" i joked.

Genji sighed "i shall be"

"okay give me a bit to set up, then i expect you in my office" my office! i couldn't contain a slight squeal. I rushed down the hallways, and into the medical area, i touched everything, it was perfect. Some of the stuff the same. I prepped the exam room, and sat down at my desk sipping my coffee and smiling to myself.

Genji walked in and i ran my usual tests i used too on him, nothing felt clunky or unnatural, it was like the years away changed nothing. Either that or i was so used to repairing everyone that it became second nature.

i finished up with him and Torbjorn came walking in, i had to inject him with some of the older nanotechnology. I had only been using the newer stuff on myself, and i didn't want it to affect any of them weirdly as it had been doing for me. Torbjorn always put up such a fight around needles, but after some light coaxing he relented. Next came Winston, he was always one of my best patients, he just happily sat there.

"i have something to talk to you about Angela, unless you would rather have Ana tell you?"

My heart sank... something had happened to our kid... but.. that's not possible, i had an alert system for exactly this reason. No no...

"oh! nothing like that! I'm sorry! i didn't mean to worry you, it's just about how he's doing!" explained Winston quickly, he must have seen the fear in my eyes.

i sighed, relief washed over me, in truth i had been dying to know how he was doing, what he looked like... what he likes... if he even knows who his family is. My heart was aching to actually see him.

" i can arrange a meeting at some point if you would like, if you would like to be involved at all... we never got the chance to fully discuss everything, but he is doing well. Apparently has the spirit of both of you. Meera has been sending me regular updates" said Winston kindly.

Another sigh escaped and my eyes welled with tears "thank you... thank you for everything" i gasped out.

He smiled, reaching into his suit he pulled out a photo of a little blonde haired boy, huge toothy grin, holding a captain America action figure. He really looked like a mini jack and was absolutely adorable.

"thank you.. " i gasped out, tears still flowing.

"you can keep that, obviously" he said kindly.

I clutched it to my chest and sighed "does he know about us?" .

"that will be something to discuss with Ana upon her arrival" stated Winston patting my shoulder and slowly leaving the room.

I sunk into my chair, while still clutching the photo, of course he would like captain America, he was basically Jack in fantasy form. I remembered Jack and i had planned being Captain America and i was going to be agent carter for Halloween... sigh. didn't want to be obvious but oh well.. Memories i wish i could push out of my mind. I missed him so much, and i have a feeling seeing John would just bring up everything. But at the same time it would help keep his memory alive... Jack would probably be so disappointed to know that not only overwatch fell, but that i abandoned our child. But he would also know that my mission in life is to save lives, not destroy them... maybe that's why if he's alive he is in hiding... maybe unable to face everything that he stood for fall in the explosion. Damn Reyes... i should have known i should have listened better instead of focusing so hard on mending things between them.

I should have also listened when he told me to avoid him, Reyes had gotten me hurt multiple times... to the point i should have noticed. Instead i tried to see the good in people but these past few years have changed me a lot. While i still strived for peace, i would also accept that some things happen, some horrible things no matter how good of intentions fall.

Jesse entered next, and i treated him, everything was up to par on him, his robotic hand still doing wonderful, Torbjorn would be thrilled to know, but he probably already assessed it. Our building skills together had saved multiple limbs, now with my new studies and technology i could repair them to their form instead of relying on prosthetics. It really was a new wonderful age. He flinched as i injected him with he old serum. Then he thanked me and sent in Lena.

"Hello love! how's it really been?" she asked i was went through the motions of assessing her health, everything was normal and wonderful just like her. She never flinched during her injections and always smiled...if i gave her a sticker.

"it's been... it's been years" i said softly.

" i know love, are you okay though?"

"not really, but I'm better now that I'm here and with you all" my eyes once again filling with tears.

She gave me a huge hug and held my hands.

"hey... maybe we could do drinks, or watch something terrible tonight?" she asked hopefully.

The idea of just curling up with her like old days did bring a true smile out.

"would you maybe like to see something?"

"oooooo you know i would!"

i pulled out the picture of john and handed it to her slowly.

"OH! lookit im'! he looks just like his dad, there's no denying that! and AWWWWWW he's got a little cap'n in his hands! oh goodness! he is perfect! have you seen him?!" she gushed.

I shook my head slowly.

"oh love! you gotta! he would be thrilled to meet you, i know it" she warmly enthused handing me back the photo.

"i just... i don't know how it would feel... you know? i don't even know if he knows i exist" i said.

"I'm sure he does, there's no way Ana or pharah wouldn't have told him" her eyes looked so kind and caring, i couldn't detect any falseness in her voice.

"i hope so, I'll figure it out eventually... i just cannot wait to see Ana again"

"yeah it'll be like seeing a ghost!" shouted Lena.

My heart sank a little, i debated telling her about my run in with the vigilante, but i didn't want to get her hopes up too. Maybe it's best i keep my delusions to myself.

I had Reinhardt next and he loudly knocked on the door

"doctor! i am ready for you!" he shouted. Lena giggled and raced out.

Reinhardt was always a good patient as well, i quickly finished up with him and we headed out to the main room together. I grabbed more coffee and settled into a big chair that Jesse and Lena were in,

"make room!" i yelped at them, Lena half sat on his lap and i squished in next to her, sipping on my coffee and looking around the room, Torbjorn was waving enthusiastically at reinhardt, a chess board already set up. Soon the two were shouting happily.

"i wonder who the new recruits are going to be" i said out loud.

Winston looked up from his notes.

"i would like to tell you, but one we aren't sure of... the other would be Hana Song, otherwise known as , she is really a remarkable young girl" he said .

Lena gasped "oh! I've heard of her! she's a real kick that one" .

I smiled, some young fresh face would be good to have around all of us.

"don't get too excited because we aren't sure... another one i have been milling over is Lucio...whom I'm sure you have all heard of"

"Lucio?! , oh he would be wonderful to have here, i tried helping him add some minor healing modifications on the tech he stole from Vishkar, but i didn't have Torbjorn to guide me" i said, smiling to myself thinking of my friend. He had been touring and i always intended to make a show of his but never could find the time. He was really turning out to be more and more incredible.

"ah! so zat is what you'd been up too" said Torbjorn

"ha! not so much, i ran into him during my time i spent in Rio... i helped with the horrible things Vishkar was doing to their people" i had been wondering how everyone was doing, i should have reached out but i wanted to be careful.

"so would you be putting in a good word for him then?" asked Winston.

"of course, his heart and his spirit is truly what overwatch stands for"

"Anyone willing to steal Vishkar technology is good in my books" laughed reinhardt.

I nodded and grabbed some more coffee.

"oi' Winston, is there still that rundown bar in the area, where we can actually go?" asked Lena.

"of course there is my friends" said Reinhardt "we go this evening!" he shouted.

"actually, i would feel safer if you all stayed here tonight, you can drink here and tomorrow night go there, i just want to be prepared for when Ana arrives"

"i thought..."

"i just got confirmation, you know how she is" .

I nodded. "well i have things to do, please inform me when she arrives" i stated, walking to my lab, i needed to run a few more tests on the serum i was working on for that past decade. Plus i had some more things to work out with my Caduceus.

Hours had passed, pages upon pages of notes, careful observations and looking through my old work. Everything seemed to match up, i could continue what i was working on at Genji's. It felt good to have all this gear at my fingertips, to be able to truly work and not worry about having to move my things around, code it and disguise it completely.

A soft knock at the door startled me, it must be nightfall.

"ello' love, you have been working too long.. already"

"it's just..it's so good to be back, to be able to work on things again and it's just... it's wonderful" i murmured.

"well... i wanted to see if you wanted to sit on the roof with me and Jesse... we wanna see if we can spot Ana sneaking in" her voice was laced with excitement. Who was i to deny her of this? i grabbed my flask and nodded.

Sitting on the roof as the cool breeze rolled by was comforting, Jesse was puffing away on his cigar, i stole a few drags here and there. Sharing the flask and taking small sips each. They kept prattling on about nonsense that happened when they were away.

Suddenly we saw movement in the distance. I carefully flattened on the roof, stealing Jesse's cigar and peering over the ledge. Jesse laid on his stomach as well, but Lena dashed off before we could stop her.

"well, that's Lena for you" i muttered, making a smoke ring and watching Lena jump up and down in the distance.

" I'll reckon it is Ana then" he said.

They came closer into view, and i could feel tears coming to my eyes.

I passed the cigar to Jesse, he took a puff and passed it back.

"you know, i always judged you for these, but they are actually quite good" i commented, it had a nice drag, a smooth taste... ugh sometimes i hate my experiments but i could at least make it slightly enjoyable. I puffed on it a minute and Ana came into view, i almost dropped it but i pushed it back at Jesse and sprinted towards the ladder leading down.

I ran towards her, i still cannot believe she is alive, Ana is alive, i almost stopped in my tracks, but instead slid into Lena, who quickly caught me. Soldier 76 was with her. This was too much.

"Careful luv!" said Lena squeezing me tightly.

"Ana!" i softly said.

"my dear Angela" she said embracing me into the most amazing hug. I started to cry a little, she carefully patted my back.

"come on loves, and.. new guy! let's go in! Winston will be thrilled" squealed Lena. We stepped into the building, the light washing over us and i could get a better look at Ana, she had an eyepatch, looked exhausted but was beaming.

"Angela, i see you changed your hair" she said with a slight laugh.

"ah. yeah, apparently blonde was a bit noticeable, couldn't blend in as well, i know it looks weird"

"my dear it's not weird, we all did things we had to do"

Reinhardt, Torbjorn and Winston came racing down the hall, all yelling at once, but stopping once they noticed the soldier with her, his face was obscured by his mask.

I doubt they would suspect anything, but seeing him in the light made it rather clear who it was to me.

"oh i am terribly rude, everyone this is Soldier 76" said Ana,

"pleasure to meet you" roared Reinhardt.

Everyone explained pleasantries, but i was pretty much frozen how i was, i was squeezing Lena's arm, and i don't think she appreciated it much when she finally yipped

"Angela!, i know you can repair it! but don't break it!" . i loosened my grip and snapped out of the shock a little. I muttered something to him about needing to do a medical evaluation on him tomorrow, he just tilted his head and gruffly said "okay".

I said the same thing to Ana and she said "i wouldn't expect anything else" then i carefully snuck out of the group.

"oi! love, where are you headed?" shouted Lena, she was really just... speaking her mind tonight. The group turned to look at me.

"uhm. ah.. " come on Ziegler you got this... say something, anything "Science!" idiot!

"ooh... alright then uh, have fun with that"

"i will lots of, stuff and things" shut up shut up shut up.

Jesse was trying really hard not to laugh and so was Lena. I scurried off to my lab, face probably bright red, ugh. I can perform surgery but speaking, yikes.

I buried my face in my hands, propping my head up on my desk. It's him, i know it's him, and i cannot handle it being him. Years ago i would have given anything to have him back, but now i wonder if he even still cares about me in the slightest.

Now i sound like a child, he had been through a lot if it was for certain him, fought his best friend, technically died...still not sure how he survived that one. Probably witnessed the fall of overwatch, everything and i mean everything he worked for destroyed, everything shattered. He was too proud to probably attempt a public "I'm alive" appearance. That just had to be such a huge emotional and mental blow... there's no way he is unaffected by it all, otherwise why would he stay dead? i had noticed his mood changes the months prior to 'dying', Reyes had done a number on him, and my attempts to mend it probably did no favors for him. Except prevented a few public fights since Reyes would always try to show that Jack had a temper. Which, he really didn't. He could get furious, but mostly when lives were being lost. He was pretty psychologically sound for a soldier who had seen some stuff people cannot even fathom. He always passed the psych exams, and remained calm during most things. Behind closed doors he would get emotional, but nothing extreme, he liked to be stoic about things.

Ugh... things with Reyes had gone too far, even before the explosion, i could have and should have stepped in. It's too late for thinking this way, i could have done more years ago, but you cannot solely focus on it... so screw it. Back to work.

I started to feel myself fall asleep while scribbling down some theories i wanted to test on organic matter in the morning. Still perfecting this serum I'd been using for years, but before i try it on anyone else it has to be perfect. I rubbed my eyes, and before i knew it was i desk sleeping, despite the roar of everyone introducing themselves and trying to get to know the mysterious 76.

I woke up to Genji gently stroking my hair and reminding me that it was a nightmare. My notes crinkled under me. i must have fallen asleep...again at my desk. In my own room i could have my nightmares, but not in my office...

"another bad dream? i thought we handled this?" he asked.

"we did, i just... i must have been over thinking about everything"

He nodded, and extended his arm "let's get you to your bed" he said.

"okay" i sighed heavily, i looped my arm into his and he led me to my room, i saw Ana giving me a quizzical look, but then she returned her gaze to the group. I opened my door and said thank you to Genji, he simply nodded and walked off. i changed into my nightclothes and went through my nighttime rituals. I was so excited to see Ana tomorrow and catch up, but at the same time i was dreading it. Not because she was alive, but because i had so many questions and I'm not sure i wanted all the answers yet.

I kept tossing and turning all night, Lena carefully knocked on my door.

"love, need some company?" she asked softly. Shit, if i was yelling again and she heard me then probably everyone did.

"sure" i replied, she entered my room and curled up with me as she used to do, slowly stroking my hair. I finally fell asleep after that, waking up to my caring friend curled up with me was wonderful. I felt slightly bad for Jesse, but he had her for years, and i hadn't seen her in ages. I got up slowly, trying not to wake her, i slid into another dress, with a deep V cut, it was dark purple, i opted for tights today instead of leggings and took a little bit of extra time with my makeup and hair. My hands shook as i laced up my boots. I wandered out into the kitchen, i seemed like the first one up, thankfully... i started coffee and ate some toast. Technically i should have gone on a run, but i didn't feel like it today. I poured myself a cup and had a morning smoke outside sitting near the track.

I would be alone with him today, and i have no idea how to handle it. Do i avoid asking him who he really is? do i let him tell me... or just back off and respect his privacy. Ugh I'm too old for this. I flicked the cigarette out and walked inside. I saw Ana sitting at the table inside and i slowly crept by her.

" darling, you couldn't sneak if you tried" she laughed.

I froze, and hung my shoulders. "i know" i said turning to face her.

" when will you be ready for me?" she asked with a smile.

"whenever you are" i said walking away, i really need to be nicer,I'm a nice person... what is going on with me. I got into my office and checked my scheduled dosages for myself, maybe it was time to up the dosage? i don't want to think about that either. I sipped my coffee and argued with myself mentally some more. A soft knock was at my door, and i stepped out greeting Ana and we walked to the exam room.

Everything was normal on her except for the eye of course... which she declined any treatment for. Not that i was surprised...

"now, i know something is bothering you, i assume Winston caught you up on John?" she asked quickly.

"yes" i leaned against the wall, "what's he like?"

"an absolute joy, and menace, he apparently stood up to a boy two years older than him because he stole a toy from another kid"

i smiled, blinking back tears, well..." we know where he gets that from"

"yes, indeed we do... he's been safe as well, we make sure to move a bit more frequently than usual"

i sighed "I'm so sorry to have put you through this... all of you through this"

"my dear it's not a problem, he is an absolute joy, and we have enjoyed having him with us.."

" but?" i asked.

"but... the problem is, he is curious, we tried telling him at first that you were just gone for a long time saving the world, but he's so smart, we never got the full chance to discuss everything, and now that we are back together, maybe it's time to meet him again" she said carefully.

"i know... can i just have some time please? everything is still settling down and i want to be able to give him all my attention when we do meet again" i said each word spoken with exact precision, i had been worried about that question, i had been worried about my own answer. I wanted so much to bring up Jack, i find it hard to believe she wouldn't know... considering she brought him back to us.

"well my dear girl, i must be going for now, but if you wish to speak of this more later we always can" she said as she started to leave.

"Ana, thank you, I'm so glad you are back and in my life again" i said softly. She smiled and left.

I walked out shortly after her, returning to my office and calculating the exact dosages i would need to maintain my current state. I was also trying to work on the nanobots in a more controlled environment, avoiding full exposure to them in high doses... but it's quite impossible, even with the proper lab. I heard a knock on my door and my heart skipped a beat.

"yes?"

"soldier 76" came the gruff voice, he sounded older, but it could be the mask.

i stepped over to the door and opened it, " I'm going to need to get some information first, then we can head over to the exam room, uhm. soldier" i said trying to avoid staring at him, or bursting into a fit of tears, i felt my heart speeding so fast.

" i guess for name I'll just put soldier 76?"

"yes"

"hm. okay, any known medical problems?" i asked, i looked up and saw him arch an eyebrow.

"you know what? I'll just examine you for myself then" i said standing up and walking to the door, he followed me into the exam room. Sat on the table and i went through vitals, he wouldn't remove the mask well..i didn't ask. i couldn't do it. There was a long scar coming from it, i won't deny I'm not curious, but this is his business, not mine...

"i'm going to need to inject you with a serum, it contains nanobots and it helps me to be able to hone in on you with my staff... is that okay?" i asked carefully.

He nodded and held out his arm. Jack was always so good with shots, or he just pretended to be... who knows. I finished with the exam and i sat down in my little exam chair and just stared at him, i couldn't tell if he was looking at me, but touching his arms, touching any part of him during the exam took a toll on me. I wanted to leap at him and hug and kiss him, but i knew that wasn't possible... but i needed to say something...

"i.. uhm. i just..."

" if there's something you are trying to say, just say it" he said gruffly.

" I'm not mad at you"

Silence. I could hear him getting up.

" i mean, i could be, but I'm not, I'm just happy you are alive" i said my voice shook at the end.

" are we done here?" he asked.

I knew my eyes were glassy, i just nodded and looked down. I heard him exit and i let the tears just roll out of me. I heard a knock a few minutes later, i quickly wiped my eyes and asked who it was. The door just opened and he walked back in.

"I'm sorry, i wasn't expecting that. " he stated.

"it's fine, i wasn't expecting you, but I'm glad it's you"

" in some form, yes" he said, i couldn't read him, the mask completely cut off his face, not that he was full of facial expressions before. He had the ability to hide everything that was wrong. But something about him i just couldn't read.

He nodded "i just, i didn't want this to affect our field work" he said.

I sighed and nodded at him. "i appreciate that, but are you okay?" this conversation felt so forced, i didn't want to push him, something about him was completely off... like a shell of who he was.

He didn't say anything and i just kept talking "if you need to talk about it, or get any medications just let me know then..."

" Fine" he said and went for the door, he hesitated but walked out.

So it was him, my darling jack was back in my life, or some version of him was back... But i still felt empty. I couldn't be mad at him, especially not for this... i needed time as much as he did. As much as i hated to admit this to myself. Well there goes my concentration for the day, i stepped outside lighting another one, who was i kidding, this was for my experiment but i didn't need to smoke this much, just two a day would suffice to know the effects. I sat down outside in my new usual spot, letting out a large cloud of smoke. I could have attempted to make physical contact, i could have said something else, i could have been kinder... i should have been more.. more anything. i had dreamed about that moment but it was a let down. Him being alive wasn't a let down, i was a let down. Once i finished i went inside, Genji rushed towards me, carefully placing a hand on my arm.

"you seem troubled today, and i heard you last night.. how is your sleeping" he asked, i could detect concern in his voice.

" i love yelling in my sleep.. what can i say?" i half joked. "eh, I'm okay still trying to get used to being here"

" ah, yes. That will take some time. I was talking to Torbjorn about a few modifications i need... and i wanted to run them by you when you get a moment"

"sure, we can discuss that in the office, or wherever" i said, a much needed distraction, and i was extremely grateful for it. We walked to my office and he pulled up some images on the holo pad. He wanted a few extra Shuriken spots made available. Which would be no problem, i still was opposed to violence and still for peace... but the more the world destroyed itself, the more i wanted to fight... which i needed to practice again with my blaster.

The fact of the matter is, jack said it best years ago, my fighting only helps go towards peace, which sounds like an oxymoron, but it's not. In order to have peace sometimes you do need to fight, you need to either get rid of or try to change those who bring harm to others.

"uh... Angela? have you heard what i have been saying?" asked Genji.

Ugh... "ah, sorry, no" i blushed.

"you really need to get more rest, Winston has been talking about a mission in Rio" said Genji.

"wait... did i miss a briefing?" was i already falling behind?

"no, he mentioned it when i walked by him earlier, he was going to brief everyone later today" i could hear a little bit of annoyance in his voice, probably from me basically ignoring him. Which was horrible of me.

"I'm so sorry Genji, i really didn't mean to ignore you, my mind is a mess today" i confessed, trying to fight rudeness with honesty.

"clear it, then we will talk more"

"no no... we really do need to discuss this, especially if we have a mission" i said, looking again at what he wanted to get done, we discussed a few options that would work with his current muscles and reflexes. I wrote down notes for Torbjorn, and off Genji went. Happier than before.

I left my office for more coffee and passed Winston in the hall, he grunted and said "briefing in an hour" i nodded, and went over to grab some coffee. I needed to do some repairs to my suit and torbjorn would probably want me to test my wings... oh gosh. Flying again...

I was working on some minor repairs when the buzzer went off for the briefing. I headed right over and took a seat next to Lena and Torbjorn. Winston was shuffling through some files and pulling up images of Rio, it seemed like Vishkar was at it again. For whatever reason, i guess with Lucio touring they might as well try again. No matter how famous he would always send most of his money back to the community, so this came as a shock. Winston mentioned that we would most likely be teaming up with him, he would help with the healing and giving boosts of energy when needed. I smiled, everything sucked in Rio but it would be good to see my friend again. We would be leaving in the morning and still had a lot of prep to do. It seemed like no one knew who 76 was, and as far as they knew he was just going to help blast away a ton of things, he remained quiet through most of the briefing, offering advice on how the attack should go. Luckily it seemed like it wasn't talon this time, and was going to be a bit easier dealing with just Vishkar brutes.

Once the briefing was over Torbjorn muttered to me about testing my wings, as i figured. I followed him to his workshop, and put on my suit, it still fit, it felt so weird to be in again, i could accomplish so much more in this than how i had been managing in the fields alone.

Lena peeked her head in, she knew i would need to practice on my descent to her and walked out to the track area with Jesse and Torbjorn. I stood on the roof with my suit, wings and caduceus, Lena shot me a thumbs up sign and started darting around.

Oh these better work. or I'll fall to the ground. Reinhardt came barreling out, " don't worry Mein friend, i will catch you if they fail" .

I shot him a quizzical look and shouted back " oh yeah... GREAT" giving him a thumbs up.

"NEED HEALING" joked Lena, bounding about. I took a deep breath in and jumped. I honed in perfectly on her, but my landing needed a lot of work. I felt something lightly yank in my ankle, but i ignored the pain. On the field if my team is hurt, i heal, i cannot take time for myself or i create dead weight.

Jesse peaked out from a tree and shouted out "I could use some healing". i groaned, i didn't miss this... i flashed over to him, the landing wasn't as bad, but my ankle still hurt, slightly. It was healing fast, at least that works. This went on for a hour or so, everything worked as it should, thankfully. I noticed Jack outside sitting and observing, i guess trying to blend in? not my problem, focus Angela... focus.

"oi! 76, over here, let's make sure it works on you" shouted Lena waving at him. I sighed, and tried to calm my nerves.

He shrugged.

"We'll take that as a yes! " she shouted again, and giggling.

I climbed up the building again and pointed my staff at him, took a deep breath and launched myself towards him. Honestly, i tried so many times on the ground and only a few from above, so this was always exhilarating to fly i landed next to him and half smiled.

"thank you!" i said, he nodded and turned to go inside.

"wait" i softly said, but my entire being panicked, he almost turned kind of uttered what, or something of that sort, and i just flew over to Lena. I could feel my cheeks were flushed red.

" ooooooooooo" said Lena lightly punching my arm.

"What?..." i asked.

"oh nothing" said Lena smiling.

"alright i think we can safely assume it works" said Torbjorn, as he walked inside, he had work to do with Genji.

"uhm, so ... does anyone want to do target practice with me?" i asked. Jesse and Lena both looked at me with wide eyes.

"what I'm out of practice, and i don't want to let anyone down..." i said "but i can just go alone, i just... i thought"

"naw, I'll go with you!" said Lena. We agreed to meet in a little bit, because i had to change out of my suit and into something more suitable for shooting, i pulled my hair up into a ponytail, and put on my black work out pants and green tank. I attached my holster and walked over to the range. Carefully loading it, and taking aim at the target. Miss, miss , miss. still a terrible shot.

Fuck, i softly said to myself reloading, i heard a throat clearing behind me. Jack was sitting there, is he everywhere? i mean not that i mind... but

"yes?" i asked. He walked over to me and my heart started speeding up.

" show me your position again" he instructed.

I put myself into the position to shoot, he gently lowered my arm. Straightened my neck, and put his hands gently on my back shifting my hips.

"there, now try again, and stop over thinking it" he gently said.

I took aim and fired emptying the chamber. It wasn't great but it was a vast improvement.

"Thank you" i said. He twitched slightly.

"I just want everyone prepared" he gruffly said. I reloaded and smiled at him.

I fixed my posture and emptied the chambers again. This time making more of an improvement.

"better" he said, sitting back on the bench "again"

It felt natural, he was the one who originally taught me to shoot, after i put up a huge fight, but putting the team at risk because i refused to shoot would be unfair to them and get someone killed. I reloaded and repeated, it was improving still, not great but definitely would do some sort of damage, which made me feel guilty... but that's what happens when you fight. I sighed, walking over to the bench, careful not to sit too close.

"i want you to try that again, and again until it's correct"

"give me a moment okay?"

"there are no moments in combat"

I looked at him, raising an eyebrow "i know you are correct, but i just... ergh" i got up and reloaded, repeating the process multiple times, getting closer.

"Much Better" he said, i could almost hear half a smile in his voice, but i don't want to lie to myself.

We heard the door open, and Lena was dashing in, Jack got up and nodded at her and walked out.

"... am i interrupting somethin' ?" asked Lena

"no... i was just getting some shooting lessons" i said "You are laaaaate".

She blushed "i had to run some more laps".

I faced her and gave her a "i know you are bull shitting me" face.

She lightly laughed, "hey. i refuse to be teased"

"pfft. check this out" i said , loading and shooting. I was now completely hitting near the bulls eyes, each shot more confident.

" Hey love! turns out you didn't need me, just some testosterone round you! " she teased.

I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks. "shush! i think that's what you were doing".

She laughed and smiled "try again love" , she fired into her own targets, nailing them perfectly.

We continued practicing for another hour. By the end i was perfectly hitting the targets about 75% of the time, i would never be a perfect shot but it's most to distract shooters, and wound. It can kill, but i really don't want it to come down to that.

I headed outside to grab another smoke, and to watch the sun set, i had a coffee in hand and the beautiful sunset. Tomorrow would be a big day, our first mission together again. There's a lot to worry about but it should all work out. The excitement of seeing Lucio again was thrilling. I could use some of his happy energy. Hopefully we will be able to find the group who Vishkar hired, if not, at least getting their tech will be good enough for the time being.

I brushed myself off and walked inside, i hoped tonight my dreams would be good, but as i finished my nighttime routine and settled into bed my brain wouldn't shut off. I just wanted to be near him, i wanted to hold him and curl up next to him. Fear was lodged in my chest, tomorrow would be our first mission as a team again, and i didn't want to let anyone down.

 **A/N: he's back! jack's back! Sorry it took so long, i had more to cover than i thought. Let me know what you think if you have a moment! Thank you for reading!**


	20. Chapter 20

My dreams were filled with images of war, people dying, and my inability to save anyone. A dark figure was looming in the distance laughing maniacally at me. I tried so hard to not wake up frequently, but my own yelling would yank me out of sleep. I needed to deal with these nightmares better, a soft knock was at my door. And i carefully walked to open it. Genji was standing there.

"are you alright?" he asked softly.

"I'm... I'm not okay" i said opening my door for him to come in.

He sat himself down in the chair i had in the room and i perched on my bed.

"you apparently aren't the only one with nightmares here... " he said.

My head jerked up and looked at him. "who?"

"the soldier, i hear him pacing around at night, last night and tonight... it's not my place but you are his doctor. I know you could prescribe something for it..or at least for yourself"

My heart ached, the fact that he had nightmares made me want to run to comfort him, but i knew i should keep my distance for the time being.

" you know i won't take anything yet, I'm still working on it"

"but you could, and you should, or work on the meditations we did" i could hear concern in his voice, sometimes i wondered why he wouldn't show his face anymore, but i guess he came to terms with being more cyborg than man. Jack had his own reasons as well... but i couldn't help but wonder how bad the damage he had faced.

"yes, i could... but"

"but you are working on yourself first, i understand, these things take time, but we have a mission tomorrow and you need to be rested"... he certainly was persistent.

"i can stay if you want me too, or i can go" he said. i nodded, as much as i wanted company, and as much as he had helped in the past i needed to be alone, or figure something else out.

"I'll be fine, i might go make some tea or something"

"very well" he said, we both walked to the door and out of my room together, at that moment we both saw 76 emerge from his room as well, holding a hand to his temple. He made what i would assume is eye contact. i froze, this probably looked weird. Genji walked off, not really caring that this was rather awkward, or rather he just didn't think anything of it, because he didn't know who the soldier really was.

"are you alright?" i asked him, my voice slightly shook.

"I'm fine, i just needed water" he said, absolutely no emotion i could detect in his voice.

"ah, genji just heard my nightmares and was checking on me" i said softly. "i was going to get some tea, i can make some for you if you would like"

"I'm fine" he said again, we walked in the same direction together, silence filling the air.

I filled up a kettle and he grabbed a glass of water and left. I just wanted to help him. but he clearly didn't want any help from me. I made my tea and returned to my room, my thoughts swimming into sadness, at least i could sleep well in sorrow.

(Jack's POV)

Not being able to sleep properly wasn't something i had gotten used too since my disappearance and return. Being back in the old routine under a new persona was difficult. Proving to be even more hard around her. Helping her shoot today was hard, i still wanted to protect her, to be near her in some way. But she had changed, as had i. I'm not even sure what to think of her, well. Besides what i have always thought of her.

She was still angelic, despite the change of hair, but she seemed more worn down, more tired and depressed, and i cannot help thinking that it's all my doing. I wrecked her, destroyed her. The one person i truly loved and cared about, and here she was as a shell of her former self. It's all my fault, i cannot repair the damage i have inflicted upon her life. Fuck. I just paced most nights until i tired myself out. But now i needed something to distract me, she had mentioned she would help me if i needed anything, of course she would... that's who she is. She would help anyone, no matter what... even Reyes... My mind clouded, and anger surged. I tried to put that day out of my mind, but it haunted me, our fight, the explosion, seeing Angela perform some sort of revive on him... i could hear blood pounding in my ears. She revived him, she somehow managed to make it work, on him. I slammed my fist into the bed, and paced some more. For him. How could she even do that? after all she had been through with me, and with him... That's just who she was, amazing but so full of hope for things that are not what they seem. I had to protect her from myself. These years away only brought me more longing for her. To just kiss her or be near her. But i couldn't protect her that day, i just walked away, broken. It was better for her that i died, instead of her facing this bitter old shell of a man, with scars printed across my body, my face looked like a phantom. I deserved this for failing, i don't deserve happiness, i just need to make everything right i wronged... but i cannot deny that all i really care about is her, and her forgiveness, i let her down most of all on that day. I left not only overwatch, i left her. I slammed the bed again, i need a drink.

I opened the door and started walking, when i saw her and genji emerge from her room. Of course, it's been years... i always had a feeling she would grow more attached to him. But seeing it again, with my own eyes just... calm. I need to focus, ignore them. Ignore the thoughts.

"are you alright?" came her sweet voice, floating through the air. I tensed.

"I'm fine, i just needed water" i said, disguising my emotions.

"ah, genji just heard my nightmares and was checking on me , i was going to get some tea, i can make some for you if you would like"

I calmed down at that a bit, she wasn't a good liar, and she sounded completely honest, and quite rattled that i witnessed this. "I'm fine" i said carefully. We walked together down the hallway, i reached for a cup and filled it with water, her back was turned to me making tea, part of me wanted to hold her, but the other part was filled with regret. I walked away, like the idiot i was, it took me so long to originally ask her out all those years ago... now i cannot stand being near her without feeling all these thoughts of dread, sadness and anger.

I had to protect her from myself, i had changed. I was crueler, more violent, revenge filled my mind. But she was like this light, this light cast into the darkness i had been living in. I just needed her to be okay. i settled into my room, drank the water and paced until i exhausted myself. Nightmares filling my mind.

~~~~Angela's POV~~~~~~

The alarm went off, and i quickly got ready to head out, packing lightly, and pulling my hair up into a ponytail. My suit and gear would already be on the flyer. I ate a protein bar, and headed out to grab the quickest smoke beforehand. My nerves were so rattled, i heard Genji approaching me. "i think we will be ready to go in a few" he said shuffling his feet. I nodded and closed my eyes, inhaling the smoke.

"did you get any sleep?" he asked. I nodded again.

" nerves?"

"yes... i mean it's our first mission together again"

"And with the new recruit" said Genji.

"ah... yes true" i lied. I was a bit worried about him, but i knew he was able to handle whatever would be thrown at him. He would always be a soldier.

"I'm sure he will be fine, Winston and Ana wouldn't have recruited him otherwise" he stated.

"yes I'm sure of that" i said, i just wanted to sit and enjoy this, not be conversations about someone i actually knew.

"oh, I'll be going inside, I'll see you in a few" he said, i could tell he knew i was annoyed, and once again i was feeling bad. I hadn't been a good friend, but i was so distracted. Fuck.

I lit another one and paced. I can do this, it will be a short flight with Lena, Winston will prep us again... it will be fine.

Jesse poked his head outside "want some company? we will be leaving soon"

"so I've heard" annoyance clearly present in my voice.

"pardon me then" he said turning to go back inside.

"hey, I'm sorry... I'm on edge" i confessed, exhaling a large cloud.

He half smiled "ah doc, you'll do just fine, just leave the shooting to us" he said with a wink.

He took a long drag off his cigar, and i calmed down a bit, enjoying my own. Ugh enjoying. I'm a doctor.

I finished it and headed inside with Jesse, everyone was there but Winston.

"alright loves, we can start boarding now if you like, and 76' this is your captain speaking! i do my best but turbulence happens" she said as she sped off to the flyer.

I slung my gear over my shoulder and walked next to Ana. She looked remarkably calm. As we boarded i settled into my usual seat, my heart ached because i used to sit next to Jack, but we all know that wouldn't happen. I sat alone, my legs curled up and i slung on my headphones, i didn't want to deal with this today, i knew Winston would be planning out the mission soon, but first he was talking to Ana and Jack. Probably planning a course of action. With Ana's new healing abilities in her gun, she wouldn't need to have me too close. Lena i never bothered keeping up with, so i would probably be back with torbjorn.

I closed my eyes and tried to relax, soon i would be seeing my old friend, and hopefully seeing all the work we did on his sound device. I hoped it still worked, but as far as i know it did. Apparently he did a video call with Torbjorn for some adjustments. I had detailed what we did to it before. I sighed, and almost drifted off to sleep, when i felt a gentle hand on my shoulder. Ana was slightly nudging me. I took of my headphones and looked at her.

" we figured it would be best if you stayed up with Torbjorn, Lucio is going with Reinhardt and Soldier 76, I'll be up top making sure of things, and Winston will be staying behind until needed, Tracer will be with McCree and Genji, so keep an eye on them and your comm" stated Ana. I nodded. Simple plan.

Winston pulled up a map of the area, and pointed out the designated locations, where the transport would be headed, and the importance of stopping it and taking what was on board. We had a good idea of what would be on board, but not fully, which was rather unlike us...but Lucio knew it wasn't good. His community had been buzzing with the things Vishkar was attempting again.

"we should be landing in the next fifteen loves" said Lena.

I began putting on my suit, because i didn't feel like wearing it the entire flight, it was a bit of a pain to wear recently.

Lena was leaning on her seat "it's always so startlin' seeing you in that, with your hair"

"Hair is a very startling thing" i said arching an eyebrow, i swear i heard a half laugh from Jack, but i wasn't sure.

Lena shook her head and smiled. She landed, a bit away from where we needed to be, this was where we had to grab Lucio. She opened the doors and in he came.

" ALRIGHT!" he yelled happily, reaching out a hand for Winston. They all exchanged greetings, as i stood back. Then he saw me and let out an excited yell. We had taken flight again.

Lucio skated over to me " DOCTOR!" he shouted pulling me into a huge hug and spinning. I hugged him back tightly.

" you look the exact same girl! how do you do it? besides the whole retro Goth vibe with the hair"

I rolled my eyes " shut up". He laughed at me.

"well i mean now if you join me again you don't need the wig!" he said.

Lena whipped around in her seat

"WAIT WHAT" she yelled.

" team focus" said Winston.

Lucio smiled mischievously "I'll tell you all later!" . I shook my head and sat back down. I forgot what a pest he was sometimes. Winston re-briefed Lucio on the plan, and we all prepared to land. We broke off into our groups and i rechecked my healing staff, as i follow Torbjorn. He began building his turret and i just peered over the ledge, checking in on everyone.

"transport spotted two clicks away from your location Torbjorn" said Winston, who was back on the flyer, looking at maps.

"I'm ready for it" Torbjorn responded.

" i see it" said Ana into the comm " little security, but I'll make sure there are no followers" .

Ah, yes the waiting game, i probably was useless today, since Ana could heal and now so could Lucio. But it was a good test run for him. All i can do is hope that everything goes smoothly.

I heard that McCree, Genji and Tracer were behind the transport and hadn't spotted anyone either. It was almost too quite, but Vishkar hadn't been challenged in a while, so they had no reason to be.

"Looks like we may be able to take this down when ready" said Tracer.

I eyed Torbjorn, as we heard noises in the distance, it must be the transport coming. Torbjorn hammered his turret a little bit more, and indicated we should probably move back.

"My turret is set to fire, it's almost here" he said into the comm. The minute the transport came into view his turret started firing. Some return shots flew up and narrowly avoided hitting the turret.

"don't worry my friends" shouted Reinhardt.

I could hear 76's pulse rifle going off, and the flash of some helix rockets. I readied myself for flight if need be. Torbjorn looked at me and i shrugged, i just wanted to be ready.

"hey give me a boost" he said, i obliged and his shots did more damage, he looked over the edge, and smiled "i think they almost have it secured" he shouted.

" Tracer get the flyer ready, we will have this transport ready to be loaded in no time" said Reinhardt.

"ROGER!" shouted Tracer.

I peered down quickly surveying the scene. Jack and Reinhardt were taking care of the guards and lucio was being good backup. I had to smile. Mccree ran out to join them as was probably somewhere sneaking, I guess they called for more? Hm. Sometimes we didn't get communication from other groups unless they pinged us in. Torbjorn was happily firing away.

" incoming more hostiles are coming. Hurry up and get it out of there" barked Ana.

I powered up torbjorn and he took care of the rest of the guards.

" they have turrets on the incoming transport. I got rid of a few. But the rest are on the north side. Torbjorn I trust you will get them? Reinhardt get your shield up. They should be arriving in five " Ana ordered.

" it will be a pleasure" shouted Reinhardt.

I anxiously watched from the cliff. I knew lucio could handle knocking people away. But the healing was worrying me.

The next transport arrived. And torbjorn quickly got rid of the turrets. Reinhardt still had his shield up and lucio and jack were working well together. Taking down the guards. I saw a shot hit Reinhardt. Lucio switched to healing. And he seemed better. I was griping my caduceus.

" get down there" barked torbjorn.

A bullet hit jack in the foot. I honed in on him. Descending down upon the group and trying to hold my flight and healing beam. Once he seemed better I put it on Reinhardt " it's just a scratch " he yelled.

I backed up and took cover as more bullets rained down. Where was this coming from ?

" we got more company" shouted Ana.

" mccree I'm boosting you" I said into my comm.

I could see a smile form as my beam hit him. His perfect shots becoming more deadly. Another guard down. Followed by another from jack. Lucio got one thrown off a cliff, but took damage from a last ditch shot. Luckily it wasn't anything serious. I hadn't injected him yet. So my caduceus wouldn't do much. But jack threw down a biotech field which laced the wound together. Or it should Anyways. Genji was flitting around, slashing through enemies.

Soon the current group of guards were down.

" not to worry all of you, but I would grab the gear and get out. Tracer is with me. We can have the flyer to you within two. Grab what you can and get out" ordered Winston. He inputted the coordinates to us. Reinhardt ripped off the doors of the transport and began rifling through the boxes. " we got trouble" he shouted.

Looking into the boxes we saw heaps of ammunition, other boxes contained guns".

I got a nagging feeling in my stomach but couldn't place it. It felt too easy yet again.

" I'm not seeing anyone else coming" said Ana. " but don't I don't completely believe that" . It was comforting knowing i wasn't the only one feeling this way. But general uneasiness was in the air.

Reinhardt loaded his arms with the goods.

" this is messed up ! " said lucio. Clearly annoyed at the contents. He had a right to be, Vishkar had been horrible to his community before, but this was a new low.

" not the time " said 76, as we all raced to get out of there.

The flyer appeared once we reached our destination point. They quickly loaded the items onto the flyer and we all scrambled in.

"just gotta pick up Torbjorn and Ana! Winston did you send them the points?" asked Lena

"indeed i did, according to the map they should be there in... oh. " said Winston his voice dropping.

" Torbjorn, once you reach the destination i need you to set up a turret" said Winston, his eyes looking panicked.

"Ana, i need you to keep watch over him, make sure the others don't show up and before we get there"

" understood" she said.

"well, looks like this is about to get interesting" Said McCree, taking a puff of his cigar.

"Hang on loves, new plan" said Lena.

"so far it looks like we can avoid them" said Winston eyeing his map closely, 76 walked over, and they started muttering together.

"Alright team, new plan. Tracer will land us above the destination point, there are multiple entrances, Here, Here and here, Ana will be up here sniping of course, and Torbjorn there with his turret, but i need you four to go in" he said pointing to various locations then to Reinhardt, Jack, Genji and Lucio.

Lucio... why?! this is a more hostile situation than before and, i glanced at Jack, he probably didn't want me out there. Frowning i returned to my seat and stole a drag off McCree's cigar.

"Thank you" i muttered.

"hey now, I'm stuck here too" he said.

"oh you know you won't stay for long"

"and neither will you" he said , taking another puff off his cigar and smiling.

We sat back and waited as the group left the flyer. Lena would of course be staying this time since we needed our pilot.

We listened carefully on the comms as Ana updated us.

" i see a few entering, they are being cautious, Reinhardt i would activate your shield now"

"Already on it" he announced happily.

The sounds of gunfire and Reinhardt's laughter was heard.

"we got them my friends!" said Reinhardt.

"Torbjorn, i need you to come up to the flyer, Ana i need you to start descending, find a new point and clear the area" said Winston studying the map, the heat signatures seemed to be only of our team. But more could be spotted in the distance.

He sent the map to the team, " Maybe move locations but get another turret up" said Winston.

"Yes, Yes. Build em' up" said Torbjorn, he had thankfully moved locations and was more hidden than before. Ana's heat signature was moving downwards, flanking the right side of the team from above.

A rainfall of gunfire was heard. McCree and i braced ourselves, looking at Winston who was frantically clicking through the maps and charts.

"There's just going to be more coming and more, so get rid of that group and get out of there" Said Winston. He looked at us, and sighed.

"sending out McCree and Mercy, they will flank the left, just get out of there" said Winston.

He was right, the further we pushed, the moved trapped we would inevitably become. The abandoned stretch of buildings wouldn't be abandoned for long, once the rest of the responders arrived for Vishkar.

I followed behind McCree, i didn't want to boost him just yet, until we were sure to be hidden.

We could hear footsteps approaching, i readied my boost on McCree, he softly thanked me. Before firing peace keeper at multiple hostiles. He got hit in the thigh and i immediately switched to healing, as he moaned slightly in pain. He continued firing as two more fell.

"I've been hit" said Lucio.

I looked at McCree, he motioned at me to go. I raced, using my wings to get there quicker, i saw the group of enemies taking fire. Shit. i stopped my stream, and dropped. Less of a target on foot, I hid behind a wall and used my healing on him. I wonder if his healing mech had worn off... eh problems for later. I hid nearby once i had fully restored him.

As they picked off the remaining guards, i stood nearby, i applied my boost to 76, and it got the job accomplished quicker.

"Everyone get out now, before they get another chance to strike" Said Ana.

Lucio raced towards the flyer, i was behind him, Jack to my right , Genji to my left and Reinhardt walking behind us as a shield, just in case. When we arrived Torbjorn, McCree and Ana were waiting, i guess we were further than we thought.

" all right team. Not bad for our first job together again" said Winston.

"everyone get locked in, we are movin'" shouted Lena.

"Lucio, are your wounds fully healed? or do you require attention?"

"oh i require attention alright, but my wounds seem to have healed fine" he said showing the entry and exit points.

"very well, i will need to see you later Anyways for your injection"

"oh hell no" he stated.

i arched an eyebrow "if you are going to be a part of this team, you need your shots, doctors orders" .

He slightly chuckled and shook his head. "whatever you say" .

I made my way around checking injuries and adding extra bursts of healing. The wounds had all healed nicely, Reinhardt was correct, his truly was a scratch. I sighed, and finally settled into my seat. We arrived back at the base and all i wanted to do was take a long bath and curl up. I knew Ana and Winston would be going over the mission in detail and figuring out what went wrong and try to make sense of the situation, Ana might put in a good word for Jack to join in, or so i hoped. I headed back to my room and settled into the tub.

It felt good to be back,i felt rather useless today with so many potential healers, but if anyone had been seriously injured i would have been the one to call. Everything felt natural, but lonely.. then again he usually would stay for post mission reports, so i don't know why i felt lonely this time. I dried off and put on a dress and leggings, Pulling my hair back up and applying a small bit of makeup. I guess the post-report ended early, because almost everyone was sitting around the main area. Most people being polite and getting informed about Lucio's life. When he saw me he smiled brightly "there she is" he said. Everyone, well almost everyone had a drink in their hands. Clearly already a bit tipsy.

"oh no... oh no no no " i could feel my cheeks flush.

"OH YEAH! you said something about a wig! tell us!" shrieked Lena.

"no no no no no" i said rushing over to the group.

Lucio was giggling "oh yeah! i did promise didn't i?"

"you wouldn't!"

"oh but i would" he said a huge grin on his face.

"i just need to find them, i had to get rid of a lot of them, because well... i didn't want anyone openly recognizing you, but some i totally had to keep, or Jess would have disowned me, which she did later... but eh" he prattled on. I was shaking my head and trying to grab his phone from him.

"this isn't funny!" i said

"oh it isn't! it's amazing" he said. "i mean look at you! damn girl" he had found a photo. I was captured mid dance with Jess, my face partially obscured by my hair, i had to admit, i didn't look bad... i looked powerful, and seductive... weird. The corseted top hugged all my curves and the camera caught my skirt in motion with a slight peek at the hot pants i wore under all my Lucio party clothes.

"OH MY GOD! ANGE! YOU LOOK FUCKING HOT" shrieked Lena, grabbing the phone and typing in a few things, the picture was now projected onto the wall.

"oh, real nice Lena..." i said growling.

"oh there's more if you scroll to the right" said Lucio leaning back and smiling.

Lena squealed and scrolled through a few quickly before stopping on one that even i was like, wondering if that could possibly me, and how i never noticed. Jess and i were posing on a balcony, she was crouching and i had my side facing the camera, Jess had taught me to pose with my back slightly bent, leg up, and my silhouette of my curves on display.

"if i was a younger man, this would have been on my wall" said Torbjorn.

i shot him a look.

"there's probably videos on the web somewhere from the underground parties, but i think that might be enough for today" said lucio, smiling at me.

I was shaking my head, and Lena was squealing and typing into the internet.

"you wouldn't" i said.

"easy girl, you look mighty fine if i may say so" said Jesse, smiling. I shook my head harder. I'm going to kill her.

"oh! oh! wait was she angel or devil" shrieked Lena.

"Devil" said Lucio.

"NO! YOU WOULDN'T DARE"

"oh i would" said Lena teasingly. I don't know what got into me, but i lunged, and we rolled around on the floor, fighting for grips on the phone.

"you know i could always jump away from this... " said Lena giggling, rolling ontop of me. and shaking the phone in my face. I struggled and squeeze my thighs against hers, flipping ontop of her.

Winston padded into the room at the sounds of commotion "what's going on in-" he saw the image on the screen. "oh uh. very well then"

"phone!" i demanded.

" you know, in all the years we slept together i never-" started Lena

"ERGGG!" i slapped the phone out of her hands and it went flying into the wall.

Reinhardt was laughing so hard at this point along with Torbjorn and Lucio.

"Children, behave" said Ana, smiling into her tea. I hadn't noticed but Jack was in the room, fuck. He had a hand up to where the mouthpeice of his mask was, i wasn't sure if he was laughing or horrified.

"my phone!" yelled Lucio.

i dusted myself off " that's what you get" i said. blushing profusely.

"for what?! showing how hot are you? oh! sorrrrrry!" he fumed.

"this is like my family! you don't show family butt photos!"

"if we aren't related family we eh appreciate butt photos" said Torbjorn.

"oh please, there was hardly any butt in those photos it was mostly your tits!".

"yeah, i mean, it's a right miracle you have been hiding those and only letting them free during halloween, and now, your secret double life!" laughed Lena.

I shook my head and walked out, slightly fuming, i needed to cool off.

I lit up a cigarette and paced. While there thankfully wasn't nudity i still felt slightly betrayed. Or maybe i felt like i betrayed Jack, partying, and dancing... but i never intentionally danced with men, just women. Wait... why do i care? for all i knew i thought he was dead then, i was depressed, people do things when they are depressed. I just happened to don devil horns and corsets... ugh.

I lit another one and paced, and paced some more. I'm a doctor, they are my family, they just were poking fun, it's all okay... I'm fine. I walked back inside.

"hey I'm sorry love, we were just teasing, besides it was nice to see you having some sort of fun"

"it was my only fun during those years" my voice cracked a little and Lena patted the seat next to her on the big chair, i curled into her side.

"we really didn't mean any harm" said torbjorn turning back to his chess with reinhardt.

Lucio was smiling and working on some music and everything felt comfortable, i noticed jack getting up and leaving to go who knows where, i wanted to follow him and explain, but i felt like i had nothing to say, besides what was obviously locked in my mind. I had a bad feeling Ana was judging me for presumably spending my time partying while she took care of my child, our child... ugh. he doesn't even know... how would i even tell him?

"what's with the sour face?" asked Lena patting my head.

"nothing, i just have a lot on my mind" i said softly "I'm just going to go inside and look over some stuff" . She nodded and gave me a quick hug as i went to my office.

i turned to look at my notes, i hadn't injected myself today, and i was doing fine, maybe i had done enough and this part of the experiment was over. I jotted down a few notes, and sighed. It was already late, and the day had exhausted me. As i stepped out of my office i saw him standing nearby.

"can i help you with something?" i softly asked.

He faced me and said " not yet" and walked to his room, my heart ached and more tears fell. I made my way to my room, and filled the tub, slowly sinking my body into it. I missed him. He was a door down and i missed him. The ache was filling my entire being, as i sobbed in the tub. At least i would hopefully sleep through the night. I curled into bed and heard pacing. I contemplated checking on him, but i didn't want to annoy him. He was always too proud for that. The last few nights i spent with him before he presumably died, he would wake up pacing, debating what to do about Reyes, i didn't let him know i saw him. Every once in awhile i would wake up, pretending that i couldn't sleep. He would confess some of his worries to me, and i would wrap my arms around him. Kissing his neck and hair, pulling him back into bed with me. He would either fall asleep or we would end up entangled in passionate love making, he would exhaust himself and fall asleep kissing me and whispering how much he loved me after we finished. Those times were some of the most intense, it was like he was fighting off all the stress and channeling it into some amazingly romantic and fulfilling times. Great, now i was pacing, my desire to go and let him take his stress out onto me was driving me crazy. I hadn't been with anyone else since him, i couldn't imagine it with anyone else but him. Screw it.

I left my room and walked to his door, lost my nerve and leaned on the wall next to the door, taking deep breaths, i could hear him pacing more. I gently knocked. The pacing stopped and he started rustling things around. Probably putting on his mask. The door cracked, i was still leaning on the wall, frozen.

"yeah?" he asked gruffly, he sounded tired.

"i just... i wanted to make sure you were okay"

"I'm fine"

"if you need help-"

"i don't"

I couldn't hold back the few tears that slid down my face.

" is that all?" he asked.

"i just.. " i couldn't finish my thought. I just started walking back to my room, i could hear him sighing and closing his door.

I went back into my room and crawled into bed, crying myself into a deep restful sleep for once.

Jack's POV:

The day had been harder than expected, being on the field with the old team again. This time as a stranger to all but Ana and Angela. It should have been simple, i should have offered more advice into planning, but that would only give me away. Damnit Jack, you could get people killed because you cannot face who you are. You are a coward. You can't even face her without self loathing. Damnit. I paced. She was doing fine before you came back... well... for the most part. I had followed her around a bit, not to Rio... i guess she had fun there. I guess she had forgotten for awhile. She deserved happiness. I couldn't give that to her, not anymore... not as who i am now. Maybe i never brought her happiness. Maybe it was just an ego boost... maybe she knew i was breaking and looked at me as a patient. No... not Angela. Not my Angel. She wasn't like that, she wouldn't lie like that to me, or anyone.

But who was she now? the glimpses i looked into her life, slowly following her, and keeping an eye out. I should have been there more, who knows what happened when i wasn't following? that night with the gang still haunted me. She was tough, but what if she couldn't fend then all off... what if it had happened before. My knuckles clenched. Think of anything else... no not her in the corset... she looked so beautiful. She was always beautiful, even asleep at her desk with her hair falling everywhere. Even after days of staying awake working on things.

Don't think about her... don't think about her. I paced some more. I could have led the team better today, I'm not a leader anymore... don't think about that... flashes of death came into my mind, gang violence, attempting to save people. Stop... you need to think of nothing. Think of nothing at all. I couldn't save them, i couldn't save overwatch. Who would want to know that Jack is alive? it would only mess up everything, everything everyone had worked for. Failure, I'm a failure. I constantly let people down, if only i could have seen the change in Reyes. Had not lost Gerard to Amelie... All my fault. My fault... i need a drink. i need rest... something anything.

A soft knock pulled me out of my thoughts. my mask... there it is. I carefully placed it on my head. Slowly cracking the door, Angel...

"yeah?" was the first thing that came out of my mouth, idiot.

"i just... i wanted to make sure you were okay", she certainly wasn't making this easy on me...

"I'm fine" I'm not fine, i want nothing more than to be with you, but i want nothing more than for you to not know who i have become... she's in love with the old me. The one who was a leader, strong, confident. Not this shell...

"if you need help-" i couldn't listen to this.

"i don't" i cut her off... i didn't let her finish. But i also wasn't prepared to see her crying. I wanted to hold her, to tell her it would be okay, that I'm just completely broken, but comfort her at the same time. i just wanted to talk to her... i just needed to say something anything... i want her to stay,but i want her to leave... she deserves better.

" is that all?" i said as confidently as i could, despite the internal fight.

"i just.. " she had started saying, but then she just walked away. She has given up on me, or she should just give up on me, I'm not worth it. Jack is dead, he was just a want to be commander, who got the title, but couldn't hold the honor. i failed everyone i knew. I couldn't handle this, i couldn't face her in all those years. The fact she even wants to talk to me is a miracle. She would hate who i have become. I'm just a soldier now. If i can even bear to call myself that. I'm more failure than soldier. I fished out the bottle of gin i had and took some long gulps. It stung and made my eyes water, but as i paced and thought of her.

 **A/N: i tried to edit this one as best as i could, but a lot of it needed some cutting, if it's too much just let me know. Also! happy new year!**


	21. Chapter 21

The two days had been filled with more and more research, i hardly left the lab. I knew everyone was practicing harder and harder. Trying to work better as a team, but i couldn't handle it, i isolated myself. Ignoring everyone. Thankfully due to all the training no one really noticed my absence. I worked during the night and slept during the day as best as i could. I completely avoided Jack, i was too ashamed to face him after knocking on his door the other night. Jotting down more notes about my Resurrection abilities, i smiled. I was glad to have it perfected by now. But it still hadn't been used on a human... well not since i repaired and studied more. Don't think about Reyes, it's a nightmare that never happened. I desperately tried to banish the thoughts from my mind. I went outside to stare at the moon, thankfully due to it being late night, no one would be awake, except for probably Jack, but that's not my problem, if he doesn't want to sleep that's not my problem... but i am still concerned for him. Climbing onto the roof was freeing. The silence made me relax, i lit up a cigarette,I just want to accomplish what i need to do, to help people and to make things better. To heal people... i just wish he would let me in. In some way, shape or form. Sighing i lit another and took another drink. I let my legs lightly tap the sides of the building. I liked heights more since we gave my suit the guardian angel form. It felt freeing to fly, and help people. I sound so repetitive. I just want things to improve. I want him to not hate me, or be afraid of me.

I slid my legs back onto the roof, and headed back inside. I carefully crept back to my room, stopping at his door, listening to him pace, when i stopped in front of the door, he stopped pacing. I wanted so much to try again, but there's no point, he would come to me when he is ready. As i walked to my room, i heard him resume pacing. If only he knew how much i actually wanted to help.

I returned to my room, dreading the nightmares that would come... Reyes was the star character in most of always ended with Jack burning alive, and me helpless to do anything...my arms tied behind me and everyone was being massacred. This nightmare replayed almost every single night since being back here.

I woke up, showered and slid into my clothes. Applying a tiny bit of makeup and twisting my hair up. I headed to my office when i heard Lena call out to me "oi! it's about time you showed your face again!".

"I've just, been working night... er at night" i replied, just wanting to get to my lab and figure out exactly what i had my breakthrough on. For some reason my brain was fuzzy.

" well... alright then" she returned to the rest of the small group in the kitchen, she looked slightly hurt, i had been so excited to get back with everyone but now that i had i was ignoring them, typical.

I saw Lucio. shoot, how had i ignored him for the past two days? he needed a medical evaluation.

"hey Lucio" i called.

"yeah?" he asked, sounding unsure.

"i'm going to need to do the medical evaluation today"

"awww man, i had hoped you had forgotten"

"nope" i headed to my office, motioning for him to follow.

I could hear him slowly follow me, he never did anything slowly so this was new.

We reached my office and filled out the medical evaluation. Everything checked out as normal, i figured since i gave him regular checkups when i lived near him.

"everything looks good" i said inputting the last bit of data into his files. Now for that shot... i said reaching for the needle. He bolted out of his chair and skated out the doors.

I recapped the needle and ran after him.

"you gotta help me" he shrieked hiding behind Reinhardt.

"what is all of zis about?!" shouted Reinhardt. I ran into the room.

"he needs his shots" i stated with a sigh.

"don't worry my friend, i will protect you!" shouted Reinhardt again.

"oh please, come on... he needs his shots"

" hang on there partner! no one will get shot around us!" said Jesse with a smile.

" oh no... come on..." i was feeling my nerves twitching. "it's a small needle"

Lucio shrieked louder dramatically, i rushed after him but Jesse grabbed me holding me back.

"Jesse! stop... Let me go!" i pleaded, i just wanted to get this over with.

Lena came running into the room "oy what's all this about"

" Lucio is avoiding getting his shots" i stated again.

"oh Jesse get her!" squealed Lena laughing, she started tickling me, while i squirmed in Jesse's arms, i started screaming, when suddenly loud footsteps rang, and the next thing i knew i was on the ground and Jack had his hands around Jesse's neck, pushing him against the wall.

"easy there! it was all in fun" Said Jesse, looking concerned.

" hey... HEY! LET HIM GO" shouted Lena panicking. my thoughts started racing, as everyone looked on in horror. Shit... he probably thought someone was being attacked, i panicked, trying to think of what to do, while Jesse tried prying Jack's hands off of him.

Lena was smacking his back which only made him angrier. He kept shouting gibberish about gangs, and fighting.

"Soldier" i firmly ordered. His grip slightly loosened. Lucio had skated off to grab Winston, but Ana came running instead.

"Soldier! i need you to let him go" His body stiffened and he half flung Jesse into the other wall.

Torbjorn made a dive for his legs to try and topple him, but he kicked, reaching for his side arm.

"SOLDIER" i yelled, trying to sound as commanding as possible. "those aren't your orders".

Ana readied her shot.

"Ana please don't..." i said, i needed to calm him down not harm him and cause further damage.

He lunged toward her, and she fired, he shook for a minute before toppling to the ground. The group sighed in relief, but my mind was racing.

"can someone help me get him to the medic bay?" i asked, clearly frustrated.

"Jesse could have been hurt, and you are worried about him?!" Lena barked.

" Lena... i'm treating him for something and i may have given him the wrong dose, instead" i lied.

She sighed and went back to Jesse.

" Jesse i'll need to evaluate you as well" i said softly.

" think nothing of it, no harm no problem" he said rubbing his neck.

"and you" i growled at Lucio. He winced, and i walked up to him, whipping out the needled and jabbing him.

"OUCH!" he yelled, rubbing his arm. I shook my head and walked back to Jack, Reinhardt agreed to help me with getting him to the medical bay.

"do you need me to stay watch?" asked Reinhardt.

I sighed "no, i'm fine... he wouldn't hurt me" i said softly.

Reinhardt's face softened looking at me "you don't know him, none of us do but Ana"

"and don't you trust her judgement?" i asked, as his cheeks lightly flushed.

"Well, yell if you need anything" he said leaving.

I pulled a chair up to the bed we laid him in, i monitored his heart rate and debated giving him another dose of a mild sedative, especially when he started twitching in his sleep. I wish she hadn't shot him with the sedative... it was supposed to only be used in the field, not against one of our own... i carefully reached out to touch his hand, lightly holding it and resting my other arm on the bed. There is some war going on in his mind, and i just want to fix it. I could give him anxiety medication, but i know he would never take it, nor would i lie to him about it. The rest of the team will hopefully trust him again, i lied to them. Never giving him anything for his PTSD, but i was trying to help treat him. Lying on the bed is the man i love...loved? love... and i am utterly helpless in this situation, i've dealt with this before. Being on the field during wars always caused mental repercussions, hell i'm currently living with mine, but he's different. He has been through too much. Blinking back tears i rubbed the back of his hand with my thumb. I felt his hand slightly grab mine... could he be waking up?

He whined slightly in his sleep, i could see his heart rate on my holopad, it was elevating, but he was still fully asleep... his whole body shook and i held his hand tighter, softly speaking to him, and humming whenever his twitching would get worse. This really should have worn off by now. I heard footsteps in the distance and i released his hand. Ana waved through the glass, i hadn't pulled the curtain shut which was slightly foolish of me. Motioning for her to come in and she entered.

"Ana... i swear you fired one shot, but did you do two?" i asked eyeing her.

" i modified it to last longer while i was away" she stated simply. Looking from me to him, she spoke again "my dear, when he wakes up come find me, i need to talk to him"

I nodded, i didn't let her know i knew who he was, but i desperately wanted too.

"where have you been, we haven't seen you much in the past few days"

" I've been working, on my research mostly at night" i sounded unsure of myself, despite that being the truth.

"you really need to do something about your sleeping"

"i know, i'm working on it, hence the late nights" i lied, i hated lying to her.

"if it doesn't work i can always help" she said.

"i believe you have been enough help" i didn't mean to sound so harsh but i was annoyed at the entire situation.

" i did what i had to do,he would have preferred it that way, rather than have another innocent person hurt" said Ana calmly.

" i understand, but he won't be able to handle those situations if he isn't awake during them, it will only cause more confusion" annoyance charged my response.

" you can be as mad at me as you like, but you don't understand everything, i'll be back later, once he wakes up" she said while leaving. I got up and closed the curtains, and settled back into my chair, carefully holding his hand again, his heart rate had stabilized in that moment, and it made me feel slightly hopeful, maybe he knows i'm here... he stirred in his sleep, and i almost started drifting off into it as well.

His hand squeezed mine tightly, and he sat straight up, looking around the room, his body tense. I could feel my knuckles popping.

"shhh hey" i softly said. His head turned to me.

"it's okay, you are okay" i comforted.

"it's not okay, what happened, details" he said gruffly, he sounded on edge.

" You are alright..." i started to say.

"cut the banter, what happened"

I winced openly at his response, my eyes going glassy. "you attacked Jesse" i said softly.

"i what?!"

"i was shouting because he was holding me back from giving Lucio a shot, and the next thing we all knew, i was on the ground and you had him up against the wall by the throat, tried calming you down, and it started to work, but then Ana shot you with one of her sleeping shots" i said my voice getting shaky.

He grunted.

"I told them i had been treating you for something and must have miss-dosed you"

"you don't need to cover for me"

"you needed some sort of help, they don't know who you are... "

"and i don't intend on them finding out" his voice was so angry, i couldn't tell if at me or himself.

"i know that, i just said that, because i really don't want them to not trust you, your a good person... you just need some-"

"some what?! some medication, someone to tell me everything will be okay? someone to sugarcoat all the mistakes i made?! what... what do i need?!" his voice was raising.

I wiped my eyes " i just want to help"

"stay. out. of. it" he said coldly.

" i'm sorry, i can't... i can't let someone who is so "

"angela, Stop. I know what you are going to say and i don't need to hear it, i can take care of myself"

" i know you can, i never said you couldn't. i'm just trying to help"

" that's all you ever tried to do, that's all you do, do you ever once think that maybe some people don't want it?, do you ever stop to think about what could happen?"

" you don't mean that"

"Can i go? or do i have to stay in here tonight?"

" i need to go get Ana, she wants to talk to you, so, just stay here and listen. i'll figure out what is the best choice for you tonight" i tried so hard to sound strong.

"Fine" he said.

"i'll go get her" i whispered. i slipped out of the room, and looked around, he couldn't see me through the curtain and i let a few tears fall. I wiped them away and started walking to find Ana. Everyone was still in the main room, talking in hushed whispers. I motioned at Ana and she walked to me.

"he's awake now, you can talk to him, he probably wants to return to his room, tell him it's up to him, or whatever" i said.

" what do you think is the right call?"

"it's up to him, he's a grown man, he can stay in there and i can medicate him again, or he can return to his room" i sighed and headed outside. I tried not to notice everyone staring at me. I climbed to the roof and lit a smoke, finally letting myself break down a little bit. I know he didn't mean those things he said, he was probably feeling ashamed and spoke out of hurt. But it hurt me regardless, but i know how it can be... i had hurt a lot of people recently.

I heard someone climbing the ladder, and smelled cigar smoke.

"figured you could use some company" said Jesse "but i can just as well leave" He held out a flask, and i gladly took a swig. He took out a second one for himself.

"you can stay, i hope Lena isn't too mad at me"

"you know her, she can't stay mad for long"

i laughed at that " Lena? she is the bubbliest person i know, but she can hold a grudge"

He made a fake face of shock, taking a swig and smiling.

"how are you feeling?" i asked genuinely concerned, and drinking some more.

" takes a lot more to hurt this cowboy"

I nodded, looking at the sky. It was already dark out, the day had gone by so fast... my attempts at trying to be more social had backfired in the worst way, but having Jesse by my side made me feel more comforted.

" who exactly is he? " he asked.

"i couldn't tell you if i knew, but i don't" i lied, continuing my trend for the day.

" seems a little rough around the edges, my type" he said taking another drink.

I gulped down some more and lit another, looking at him, he genuinely looked concerned about the situation.

"what were they saying down there?" i asked blowing out a cloud of smoke.

"it was mostly Ana keeping the peace, and that woman will never reveal anything, that's for sure" he had a slight laugh in his voice. I smiled at him and handed him back the flask, i had emptied it.

" you might want to slow down there"

"too late" i sighed, wanting to just enjoy the rest of the evening.

He nodded, and we sat in comfortable silence. He finished off his flask and extended and arm to me, i linked arms and i went down the ladder first, he followed afterwards, and we both went inside. I noticed Ana was still missing, but i needed to check on the situation. The curtains were closed and i just sat outside the room and waited. They must have heard me because Ana peered out the window and motioned me to come in, she stepped out as i stepped in.

"have you made your decision" i said with a slight aggressive tone to my voice, i was slightly tipsy.

" I don't want medication" he flatly said.

"alright then, then you made up your mind" i said slightly shrugging my shoulders. i won't deny i was annoyed at this, but what could i do? forcing him to take medication would only cause him to doubt it working, and it could also cause some weird effects that he wouldn't want... so i was at a loss, all i could offer was listening.

" i did, can i go now?" he asked.

"i'm just going to recheck your vitals, then yeah, you are free to do what you wish" i said, reaching for my stethoscope, i listened to his heart, it was slightly racing. My hand lingered too long on his chest. I audibly sighed and blushed.

"alright, one last question, how do you feel?"

" Fine" he said standing up. I dropped the stethoscope and then knocked into the chair i had sat into earlier. I reached down to pick it up and felt my cheeks grow red.

"angela are you drunk?"

"Nope, had a few shots, but i'm good" i said sighing and looking at the visor that served as his eyes.

" you always drop stuff when"

" i always drop stuff in general and meddle" i said grumpily.

He just nodded.

"well if you need anything you know where to find me, if you don't want medication that's your decision, but you should talk about this stuff"

"I don't need to talk about it"

"that's your call not mine." i said my emotions were showing, i didn't want that to happen, i didn't want to cause him to think i was mad at him, or frustrated... i just wanted to reach out and show that i cared.

We left the room together, he headed to his room and i headed to mine. I quickly filled the tub, drowning out my sobbing, containing it while alone was impossible. I slid into the tub, trying to think about anything other than him, but he was firmly rooted there, like an obsession. I was never this dependent on him, i tried to fend for myself when we were together, mostly because i had too. I didn't want to expose us for what we were. But Reyes found out, unfortunately. It was the long time bickering about me actually that caused him to find out, but i needed to put that out of my head. It wasn't my fault. It wasn't anyone's fault.

I got out of the tub, dried off and heard a soft knock at the door.

"hey love" said Lena softly, she pushed the door open.

i guess Jesse told her about our talk. She climbed into bed, I happily pounced in next to her and she wrapped me in the biggest hug, kissing my cheek and pulling me against her. I won't deny i don't adore these nights, i craved physical contact and her being there was exactly what i needed.

"i'm sorry about everything"

" hush, nothing to be sorry about, you are a doctor love" she said. on that note we fell asleep, and i slept with only mild tossing and turning... and just a few nightmares, but she held onto me the entire night, calming me down and comforting me.

When i woke up she wasn't there, rather unusual for her to be up before me, but that's okay, i had things to do. Getting dressed and grabbing coffee were my first priority. After accomplishing that i headed down to the medic bay and my office. Only to see Torbjorn and Ana waiting for me. Sigh, i know what this is about, it's about her rifle. The one we fought about years ago, i didn't want to have any part in weapon making, but i was basically forced into helping with her rifle, and Torb's turrets.

"Good morning!" said Torbjorn cheerfully. Ana smiled warmly, and i asked "what can i do for you two?"

"we err wanted to upgrade Ana's Rifle, i did all i could, but she wants some more things added to it" said Torbjorn.

I eyed the rifle, still annoyed slightly at Ana from last night, but what could i do, we both knew the man, and we both valued his privacy.

" i drew up some plans for yeh, but Ana can walk you through it if yeh wish"

" That will be fine, come in" i opened the door, cleared a few things off my desk and sat behind it, waiting for the designs to come out. Ana rolled them out on the table and i will admit, they are good plans. She just wanted the healing increased, Torbjorn had made the range longer...but now i needed to boost it.

"wait.. what's this?" i asked pointing at another type of bullet.

"that would be the nano boost, if you can accomplish it. It would basically increase someone's abilities, empowering them to move more productively, i remember you talking of it years ago"

" so, you are asking me, to use my experimental nano boost in your rifle?" i leaned back and slightly laughed. Years ago i was against this, completely. Why would i want to make a killing machine? i audibly sighed.

"Alright... give me some time, i would need a subject to test it on though"

"are you sure?" asked Ana in a slight shock.

"yes, i'm sure... I've seen too many people die due to too slow of responders, if we can get someone in and out, then sure. " i sounded sure of my answer, but i'm not fully for it.

"Alright doc! thanks" said Torbjorn, he headed for the door, and Ana followed.

I reached for my coffee and took a sip. Staring at these same plans i looked at so long ago, i brushed a stray hair out of my eyes and began digging through my files, when another knock was on my door.

"Come in" i shouted, still digging, Winston really made a mess of these, i'm so glad to have them back, but ugh.

The door opened and in walked Jack, i busied myself with finding the correct folder, and finally found it, tossing it onto the desk.

His body posture was anxious, i motioned for him to take a seat.

"what can i do for you?" my voice said, or it sounded like me anyways, i wasn't expecting to see him so soon.

"You said to see you in the morning" he stated.

I arched a brow "... i don't believe i did, but regardless i'm glad you are here. How are you feeling?" i pushed the files over to the side of my desk, and looked up at him.

" Fine" he moved a pen that was laying on the desk about to fall off.

I nodded " any nightmares?"

"i don't have nightmares" he said.

" it's going to be hard to help, if you don't answer me truthfully... "

"I rarely sleep"

" do you need help with that? or? there's medication for that, or i'm sure Ana wouldn't mind shooting you some more" i stated, hoping it wouldn't bother him to mention that, ugh. i'm an idiot.

He slightly laughed and said "No, i don't need help, i just don't need as much anymore"

"that shouldn't be a side effect from the super soldier"

"it isn't"

"alright then, do you feel rested during the day? up to your usual amount of activity... find yourself feeling drowsy? dizzy?" being so formal with him hurt, being near him hurt. I'm stronger than this, he needs help, and i can help... if only he would let me.

" I"m fine" he said. i was getting rather annoyed by this phrase but if that's his answer that's his answer.

"well alright then" i opened the file and shuffled some papers, if he wanted to talk he could. But i had work to do, or at least appear like i still functioning.

He glanced at the papers.

"the nano boost?" he asked.

"yes, Ana and Torbjorn wanted me to work on it for them, so i needed to find my notes first and go from there" i stated, pulling out the basics of it, i had re-written the formula so many times, but i knew the main study was in there and practical. It worked as a sort of epinephrine, only instead of just kick starting the organs, this supercharged them.

He shook his head at me. " Well this is a surprise" he said, i swear i could hear him smiling if that makes any sense. Like a smile in his voice.

"i'm full of surprises, that's me" sarcasm coming from my words.

"what? it is surprising, you argued and argued against this sort of thing... you would get really serious, and start gnawing on your lip in frustration as you..." he trailed off, and got silent. His posture even changed...

"Jack..." i softly said. He shook his head and got up.

"i'll let you get to work" he headed for the door.

" i hate to sound like a broken record, but are you okay?" .

He turned and shrugged.

"Honestly, i can do this work with my eyes closed while watching something else, if you need to-"

"Talk, i'll talk... but not now" he said leaving the room and closing the door behind him.

Great... back to this Nano Boosting. It was going to be simple, since nano technology was my specialty, amping them up wouldn't be the issue, it would be making sure the person being boosted wouldn't suffer any damages afterwards. I sipped my coffee and went back to work. But my mind trailed a little bit, i never told him to come back and check in the next day... maybe that was his way of checking on me after last night? ... Get it together, focus, you can think all these thoughts later. I threw myself back into my work, letting the science and nanotech take over my thoughts. It always helped. Just not focusing on reality, and focusing on the medical field, the lab, experiments and controlled subjects.

Hours had passed and before i knew it, i had the entire formula worked out and in a vial in my hands. A smile crept onto my face and i walked out to find Ana and Torbjorn. Luckily they were easy to locate, sitting right in the main area talking with Winston. I walked over with a great feeling of happiness.

" I did it!" i said happily.

" good timing, we need to test it right away" said Winston, his face was solemn.

"ookay... i didn't know you had someone for a subject already, i was hoping to maybe test it on i don't know... "

"angela, you are by far one of the most skilled doctors, recruited at 17 for a leading hospital... i know you want to test it on something first, but we are going to have to go straight to the people it will be used on, we are running short on time" stated Winston.

" i uh... what's going on?" the joy i had was leaving quickly.

" Talon... apparently the agents of blackwatch have joined up with talon" said Ana bitterly.

I will admit this didn't come as a shock, i had a bad feeling that's what was happening, but i didn't want to face that information just yet. I sighed, sinking into a chair.

"Who's the subject?" i asked once i calmed down a little bit.

"Genji" said Ana, i nodded, a good choice, he would be the easiest to medicate if something went wrong. "i'll call him down, we will head down to the test range"

I nodded "i'll just need to grab the vial and you can insert it into a bullet...or whatever you chose" i said softly. I walked to the lab feeling slightly defeated, grabbing the vial and my notebook and holopad. I would need to take notes. I returned to the group, Genji was waiting.

"you sure you want to try this?" i asked, Torbjorn handed me the dart it would be going into, i carefully put some into it.

"it would be an honor to test out your work for you" said Genji.

"alright then" i gave the dart to Ana. I checked Genji's vitals and recorded the data. Then we headed down to the test range.

He readied himself, as Winston starting up the test bots for attack.

Ana had her rifle aimed at him "does it matter where i shoot on him?

"focus on the abdominal plugs, or the cracks in the armour" i said, eyeing the entire process. My heart was racing, i didn't want him to get hurt.

"Ready Genji?" asked Winston.

Genji gave a thumbs up. The bots started attacking, and i recorded his fighting before the Nano Boost. Then Ana nodded at me and fired. The shot hit perfectly, a slight blue aura was in the air and his body went faster, and more efficient than he already was, slicing and jumping. The second wave of test bots for the nano test, were destroyed in less than a third of the original time. Winston let out wave after wave, his speed not changing.

" Genji are you alright?" i called out. He was barely visible at his speed.

"Doing great" he shouted. Another wave and another wave, then he steadily declined, then called out "okay i think it's worn off".

Winston shut down the practice bots, and Genji rejoined us. I finished writing down some data, and Winston was furiously typing.

"Athena, can you record the hits he had? and send it to my tablet?" i asked.

"Certainly" responded the friendly AI.

Winston got the data at the same time, zero misses, all fatal hits. My eyes widened, and panic set in, i had officially turned someone into a killing machine... this wasn't what i intended, this wasn't what i wanted to do. I could feel anxiety soaring in me, and i had to get out and think alone. Before i could say anything my flight mode kicked in and i was running. Actually running, my cheeks felt wet but i kept running, onto the track and around it multiple times. My mind was racing and i let out a small scream, then collapsed onto the ground.

Lena must have been running at the same time, because i felt her hands on my back.

"love.. love what's wrong?" she said softly.

"i never wanted to do this" i said, gasping for air.

"do.. do what?"

" i made a killing machine, i made a way to make a complete assassin" i said, pulling my knees to my chest.

" shhhhh, you are helping us fight people who are bad... it's alright love" she said rubbing my hair.

"thank you but... i need to just.. i need to" and i just got up and ran again, running back inside and towards my room, not watching where i was going i ran right into Jack, i felt myself falling but his hand grabbed my back, steadying me on my feet.

"thank you" i said softly, and instead changed my pace to walking for my room, i'm acting like a child who didn't get her way. My beliefs were holding me back from being helpful, i just...

" are you okay?" asked jack, his voice breaking my thoughts.

" i'm fine" i replied putting my hand on my door, my body shook.

" are you sure about that?" he asked, walking towards me.

" i'm sure, i'm just..."

" the nano boost" he said

"yeah. i just... "

"it worked and now you are destroying yourself over it?"

Ugh, he was good, he may not seem like the same person since 'coming back to life' , but this felt like him... let's add another thing to the list of things making me breakdown at this exact moment.

"yes" i sighed out. He leaned against the wall and i could tell he was looking directly at me.

" you did your job, as we all knew you could. There's nothing to be upset about"

And there it was, the unemotional version of him. Jack would have told me something about how it was going to help people, how it was for the greater good and that this is what it means to save lives, that the ones destroying them needed to be taken care of, whether medically treated, or taken out... hm... nice mental pep talk.

"yeah, thanks" i muttered, turning the door knob and opening the door.

"don't beat yourself up over it" he said.

Same could be said for him, was what i wanted to say, but i didn't want to hurt him. I shrugged.

"if they look for me just tell them i needed to lie down"

" You will be fine, get back out there, and finish your study"

was he not understanding that i needed to clear my thoughts before dealing with all of this?

But he was also right, time was of the essence, and i needed to finish this, despite how hard it was. This needed to be ready, our group was small now, and Talon having the additional members means we need more power.

"Fine" i said. I turned back towards the test range, and i felt a hand on my shoulder.

"You are doing a good thing" he said gruffly, then i heard him walk off. The touch of his hand on my shoulder was still there mentally. Tears slid down my face and i wiped them away while walking back to the range, when i opened the doors, they all turned and stared at me. Jesse was now there, great, another subject.

" Angela, we need you to make another dart" said Ana. I nodded and did as i had done before, checked over Jesse's vitals, recorded the data, and he headed for the range.

Winston called for the test bots to fight, and he defeated a wave, all the data recorded by Athena, and immediately sent to my pad. Ana asked him if he was ready and he smiled and tipped his hat at us. Ana fired the shot into him and the next wave started. Each shot landed perfectly, and his speed was amplified, he fell into a beautiful rhythm, whooping and hollering around the range. Then after a few waves he slowed down and returned to normal. This was all very good, and consistent.

"This is excellent work" Said Winston, Jesse joined us and sat in a chair.

"How do you feel?" i asked

"just fine" he answered.

"how did you feel during the boost?"

"like shootin' fish in a barrel" he stated, a smile on his face as he took a long drag off his cigar.

I nodded, checking his vitals, nothing was elevated, the same as when he started.

" should we test a few more? or did you want to give it the night to see i any side effects appear?" asked Winston.

"i know we have little time... but i would prefer not to do more than one more today" i said, glad he was respecting the study.

"Send in Lena" said Winston to Athena.

The doors opened and she rushed in.

"I've been waitin' for this! ow' was it Jesse?" she asked excitedly.

" like i was possessed, but i cannot say i disagreed with it entirely" he said with a smile.

I went through all the same motions with her, and we sent her off into the range. I handed a fresh dart to Ana and took a deep breath in. I was worried for her, she was already so fast, and a perfect shot...

The test bots went out, and i stared at the data, trying to focus on numbers instead of potential victims of the weapon i just created. Ana fired the dart into her, and you couldn't see her at all, test bots beeping and dying all over the and more waves of bots, until she resumed to her normal fast pace.

"That will be all Lena" said Winston, She happily bounced out of the room, and let me check her vitals, everything just as before, even with all her excited energy.

"how did it feel?" i asked.

"Amazing! like i was unstoppable!" she must have noticed the slight frown on my face and added " it just felt good yanno?"

" That seems to be a common theme, Athena the stats please?" i said.

All perfect shots, no misses, it was like five Tracers instead of one Lena.

"okay that should be all, i'll be checking in on all of you later, regular monitorings, as always if you notice anything different i must know" i stated, returning to my data.

"Excellent work, wonderfully superb" said Winston excitedly.

"yeh did good" said Torbjorn with a smile, he had work to get back too, making more darts for me, so i could inject them with the NanoBoost. It would be him getting ahead of himself, but it did go so well. The night would be telling if it all worked out for the best.

" i'm going to go and work on this data" i said , slowly backing out of the room while Ana and Winston discussed the next courses of action. I knew a fight would be coming up, otherwise they wouldn't have been so aggressive with me. Truthfully i needed this, i needed to feel useful and to continue creating. My slump was hopefully over. I headed for the outside, going to grab a quick smoke before working on everything. The sky was already growing dark and i could feel a chill in the air. Exhaling and inhaling, and thinking of all i had accomplished, this was for the greater good. I may have taken an oath years ago, but that world had let me down, branded me a criminal and tossed me out. Working under an assumed name in war zones... this is my chance to fix things.

The night sky was comforting me. I mulled over our conversations today. I couldn't deny I was still completely in love with him. The one date I went on after his supposed death was solely to try to convince myself that I could try. But it hadn't worked. And with how it ended with an entire gang chasing me down and jack rescuing me was rather telling. I'm not over him. But he doesn't seem to care about me. I went back inside and settled into my office. Pouring out my notes and data. Genji, Jesse and Lena came when I requested for check ups. Everything was perfect. Not one side effect was happening. I walked out to get some more coffee. It was a miracle I didn't have a machine in my office yet, but I'll let this slide for a bit. I glanced up at the clock. It was past midnight, I shouldn't be drinking this but I'm kinda on a roll.

I passed my room and jacks on the way to my office. His soft pacing could be heard. I hesitated, he did have a rough day yesterday and I could... I walked towards his door and the pacing stopped. I took a deep breath and just waited, frozen again. Was it possible he heard me? Then again I'm the only one here wearing high heeled boots inside. Ugh. Knock or leave. I raised my hand to knock and a voice said " I'm fine doctor".

On that lovely note I turned and walked away back to my office to lose myself in my studies. I had made it through the past years alone. I can handle this.

The next few hours were filled with more analyzing, everything was on track to succeeded. My only worry was if it hit jack. Due to the super soldier formula I had to be slightly careful with interactions. He was already more powerful than he should be, but it was his mental state I worried about. I typed 76 into the machine and began theorizing the effects with the super soldier formula. It would make him a complete weapon. Just like Genji. Sure Jesse and Lena had done wonderfully, but when you have bodies enhanced by the serums each of them had... it's a bit unpredictable, but would yield efficient results. Lena had done fine despite her already super speeds and chrono accelerator. I'm not sure if I could explain that one of our most useful agents couldn't be weaponized like this until he was more stable. It could produce amped up trauma or flashbacks and that could do more harm to our team than good. Especially if we were all out there with him. We would need to discuss this tomorrow. I rubbed my temples. Something more must be going on for them wanting to accelerate everything so much. I finished up a few things and headed to bed, he was still pacing. And I tried to push that from my mind as I went to sleep.

 **A/N: i just really really wanted to thank everyone for reading, once again i have some chapters written in advance, but if you have any suggestions i'm completely open to them! Also I know I know this is mercy 76. I promise**

 **(mild spoiler for when if you want to know. But it's soon and not like 20 chapters soon. Like. 2 chapters soon. Just remember he's fighting ptsd and i dont want to gloss over it. But I also don't want to take forever to have them be all** **couple-y But I hope the POV's help show how much they love each other. )**


	22. Chapter 22

The next morning I checked Genji, Lena and Jesse's vitals. Everything was still normal. No side effects reported. It had worked, usually I wouldn't make the call this early but it had worked. I walked to Winston's room and knocked I knew he would be expecting me. Hushed voices were arguing inside.

The door was pushed open and Ana stood there pulling me inside.

I blinked and saw just Winston, they must have been arguing like that together , weird.

" according to the early results everything is working as expected. No lasting effects have been reported so far. But due to its dissolving nature it shouldn't cause anything except maybe a change in urine color" I said with a slight smile.

" excellent work. We can try the next few today"

" okay but I needed to bring up a point. "I pulled up my file on 76.

" due to his reactions the other day, I don't think it would be wise to try this on him" I said softly.

" it's not supposed to affect the brain is it?" Asked Ana

" not exactly. but it heightens your senses and since you may not know how he is at the exact moment of injection. I don't want to risk it, he is already more powerful than most, can't we leave it at that?" I pleaded.

" if he is fit for the field he can certainly do this, Angela I trust your judgement but I think your fears are more about how powerful he would become"

" no, my fear is for the mental well being of the patient. " I stated, why are they questioning me? I'm the one who made this and I can take it away.

" what if we tried a lower dose first? " asked Ana.

" it would just wear off faster" I said, it would be better to attempt a smaller amount on him anyways if this is really what he wanted to do.

I have no doubts in his abilities. Or in people with ptsd advancing in life. Plenty of my former patients had it. Had bad and good days but lived their lives. His extent I'm not sure, he won't talk much about it and keeps re-exposing himself to environments that can cause episodes to occur. This is why I'm worried.

" alright then. We shall begin testing on them in a little bit. Go and prep your supplies" said Ana. I shrugged and walked out. I'm the one who agreed to this. I would rather have enemies dead than the ones I cared about. And innocent lives, but this could cause a lot of pain. I sighed. I would prep a mild sedative in case his situation went wrong. A slight sedative, not as strong as Ana's. Just enough to decrease his heart palpitations and bring him back down. I invented the perfect formula in my early years at overwatch. I had to use it on Reyes more than once just to calm him to be treated medically. He broke so many hospital beds and fractured so many staff members wrists. Jack would always come running down the minute he heard he had to be medically treated. Once I developed the mild sedative he calmed down for super soldiers you have to have certain amounts of medications that normal people would pass out with. With them it took the proper dosage to just mellow then out. Like a smooth high. I'm a terrible doctor for thinking this but half the time I just wished I could constantly inject Reyes with it. His stubbornness, arrogant self needed to be contained. Especially his anger, I know jack took the brunt of it, but I also hid a lot from him as well. A knot clenched in my stomach, I stared at the finished product in my hands in a small vial. I just wanted him to let me help. My stomach growled and I fished out a protein bar in my desk. It tasted like ash. But it settled my stomach. I didn't have much of an appetite lately. But whenever I was in work mode I would constantly forget to eat. So often that if jack hadn't brought me snacks during my busiest days I probably would have never eaten. He was always so good about that. Nobody questioned it because I was on his team, and because I was absent minded when it came to eating, or sleeping. Many a night he would have to carry me from my office and lay me in my bed. That raised a few eyebrows here and there. But he always just placed me in bed, took off my shoes and left. Sometimes returning, other nights working.

I just want to care for him like he cared for me. I slid the vials into my pockets and walked towards the testing range.

I carefully loaded up the three darts. One for Reinhardt. One for Torbjorn and one for. Lucio? I stopped.

" we added more damaging powers to his weapon. And he can blast people away! " said Torbjorn excitedly. I raised an eyebrow and pretended to ignore what I was hearing.

Reinhardt walked over to me first. I did his vitals and recorded everything. He stepped into the range and began fighting the first wave. Then another. Winston asked if he was ready. To which he replied " it is an honor!" As Ana shot him he yelled out in excitement " ARE YOU READY? Here I go". Smashing. Plowing through all the test bots in his way. Another wave and another " I am unstoppable!" He shouted with glee.

Everything Athena was sending to my pad looked normal. Nothing out of his normals. He calmed down and came back to the group, I ran over all of his vitals and once again, no change.

" thank you my friend. I felt powerful!"

" you already are powerful " I stated. I'm making killing machines.

Torbjorn was next, he excelled in the range. And anything that hit him ended up not affecting him as much. I didn't want to purposely hurt him. This would require a little more time and research, however the nano tech boosted their healing abilities as well. Which I knew would happen, but seeing it in action was exhilarating. At least I could feel proud about that. When I couldn't heal and her healing bullets weren't enough. Then this would keep them protected from enemy fire until I could repair them. Well. Mostly protected.

Lucio was next and I held my breath as I witnessed the new additions to his weapon amplifier. Every. Single. Healing device I make here gets turned into a weapon. Don't think about it. Think about your research and focus. He did excellent. So far everything was exactly the same as yesterday, increased skills , no elevated heart. This was working. I thanked Lucio and Reinhardt and they took their leave. Torbjorn wanted to stay for the next one but I said we would be fine. Ana left to retrieve jack. My heart was panicking. I loaded up the dart with only half the amount. And I loaded another dart with the mild sedative.

My hands were shaking as the doors opened.

" I already briefed him on what will happen. But feel free to add in anything you think" said Ana

I reached for his arm to pull him aside. But he followed me.

" due to your. Uh. Your"

" are you going to say anything that remotely makes sense?"

" ugh fine. Let me check your vitals" I said with frustration.

" you pulled me over here to check my vitals" he said

" 76 I am not in the mood for this" I quickly examined him and compiled the data.

" he's ready" I said. " but remember if you need to stop. Just let us know" My voice shook a little.

" I'm sure it will be fine" he slung his rifle over his shoulder and walked into the range.

" wave one" called out Winston. He destroyed them in no time. Perfect precision. He really was amazing to watch.

" wave two" said Winston.

He destroyed them all. No damage to himself. I smiled maybe this would turn out alright.

I handed Ana the specific dart. She smiled and readied herself.

" are you ready soldier ? " asked Winston.

" just get it going " he said. Ana shot. The next wave appeared and he was frantic. But destroying everything in his sites. As I suspected the half dose was more than enough for him. Another wave and another wave. But I could see his heart slightly elevating. This hasn't happened to anyone else. I wanted to stop this and hand Ana the other dart. But I couldn't. He was doing better than expected, slight elevated heart rate was normal with this, it's just it hadn't happened to anyone else. He slowed down a little bit but not by much. Wave after wave.

" should we shut this down?" Asked Winston eyeing the data with me.

" he hasn't slowed down the same way the others did. They slowly slowed down. But he is going even slower" I frowned. If I was worried about Genji being a weapon then this. This was too much.

Another wave and another. He only slightly declined. He showed no signs of getting weaker or tired. I glanced over at Winston and Ana

" I expected his reaction to be different. But not like this. " I stated. Furiously typing. Finally he just stopped. No rhyme or reason. He exited the range and came out to us.

" I figured my stopping would indicate I didn't feel the effects anymore" he said. I blinked. And motioned for him to sit.

" how do you feel?" I choked out.

" fine"

" how did that feel? After being injected?"

" unstoppable. "

I nodded. Writing it down. I pressed my stethoscope to his chest, his breathing was normal. Heart rate was normal. Blood pressure normal. This didn't make sense.

" how did I do?" He asked. I knew he wanted to see the statistics. I pulled them up on my pad and he leaned over next to me and studied it. I could almost feel his hair graze my face. Oh my god. Get a handle on yourself.

" I don't even think you got injured once in there" I stated.

" not that I felt" he said.

" you see the problem is. I gave you a lower dosage. Because you already have the enhanced abilities due to your soldier serum. So we didn't want to see anything long lasting which is lucky"

" why didn't you try the full dose? Did you think I couldn't handle it?" His voice was annoyed.

" I was just explaining. You are already a super soldier-"

" well make me better. Improve it fully"

" if you would let me finish" I said sternly. Arching an eyebrow at him and sitting back in my chair. I pulled up the others data and pulled up how long it lasted.

" you see. I worried it would have too long of an effect. Since you are the only one here with the super soldier serum I had to be careful. I know how it works and I've had a lot of experience with it. However, I'm not going to give someone with enhanced abilities a full dose of something that turns others while excellent and above their own in their class abilities, into fighting machines. To someone who already is. "

" did you give a full dose to Genji" he asked.

" this isn't the time to discuss this" I said my eyes looking into his visor and pleading with him.

" I want to try the full dose" he said

" you will. But I believe we will have to get Torbjorn to rebuild our testing range" said Winston motioning at the destruction jack had left behind.

Jack grunted and took his leave. I sighed and looked at Winston and Ana

" Angela. You are incredible, if I haven't told you lately. " said Winston. I half smiled. I didn't want to give him the full dose. I didn't want to give him the half dose either. He's a consenting adult, he can make his own choices. No matter how foolish they are. We wanted to try it on Winston. But with our test range currently riddled with robot mess, we knew that wouldn't be possible.

" alright I'll be heading to my office. I'll give you both the status of the subjects as I evaluate them throughout the day. " I said while leaving. I walked back to my office and felt sick. Genji spotted me and walked with me.

" how did the testing go today?" He asked. Keeping pace with me.

" well" I said

" Angela" he said. Putting a hand on my arm. I stopped and looked at him. He slightly opened his helmet.

" we are worried about you" he said. His eyes looked soft and worried.

" I'm fine Genji. I just need to think a little bit. But I'll follow up with you later " i said continuing to my office. Jack was waiting outside the door. Leaning against the wall. Ugh. Normally this would have been a nice surprise but I knew what he wanted.

" can I help you ?" I asked opening the door and motioning him to come inside. Once inside the office he paced a little. Then finally spoke. I leaned against my desk trying to remain calm.

" why. Didn't you try the full dosage on me?" He asked. His voice sounded slightly drained.

" I already explained this"

" Angela. You can just tell me to my face"

" I'm worried about you. I worried something would set off in you " I said honestly. I didn't want to lie to him.

He paced some more. His shoulders tense.

" you know I'm a soldier. I'm trained well and I can handle myself. I don't need you protecting me. I need to be treated like everyone else".

" I understand that. The problem is"

" what. My mind? God don't you think I know that?! I just need you to say it. Don't sugarcoat this for me. Don't act like I'm less of a human. For fucks sake you gave Genji the full dose didn't you?"

" I..."

" you need to treat me the same as everyone else. You never worried so much about my super soldier bullshit before interfering, why now. " he snarled.

I sank down to the floor. And shook a little. I hated when he was upset. He never used to get angry with me like this. So having this. Version of him was startling.

" I wanted to make sure okay? I just wanted to make sure you could handle it. I didn't want to have to shoot you with a sedative. I didn't want to cause anymore emotional stress but I see that's already happened regardless. " I paused. " you. Need. Help. I don't care who you talk too but you need to talk to someone about this because this. I don't care how many years pass and how people change. This isn't you. And you know it" I said my voice barely above a whisper.

He stopped pacing. His shoulders relaxed a little and he just stood there. Staring at me. Or at least in my direction.

" I don't need help. I need to get the people who destroyed this in the first place. "

" yes. You do need help to do that why else would you be here otherwise" I regretted asking that. His fist clenched. And he walked to the door.

" I wish you would just talk about it. " I said softly I didn't care that I was crying. I just cared that he knew he desperately needed to talk or deal with his demons at some point. Or acknowledge their existence.

I wiped away some tears and said as he opened the door " I will be needing you to stop by later. I need to monitor the results ". I stood up carefully watching him walk out the door. I sat back down at my desk and began highlighting all the things in the studies. They all went a little bit too well. At least I knew I still had it at something in my life.

The rest of my day was spent tallying data and compiling it into a coordinated list. A sigh escaped my lips. I crunched on another protein bar and knew Reinhardt would be coming in soon for a check up. Sure enough I heard his hearty laugh with Torbjorn.

" come in gentlemen" I said. Grabbing my gear

" doctor you are brilliant!" Shouted Reinhardt. " do you understand how excellent this will be in combat?! "

" yes" I said writing down his heart rate and blood pressure. I turned to Torbjorn, I was still slightly annoyed at him for Lucio's weapon.

" doctor will you join us for a victory drink tonight?" Asked Torbjorn.

" you shouldn't. " I said. Frowning slightly. I never bothered wondering if it would stay in the blood long enough to interact.

" too late! " said Torbjorn smiling.

I rubbed my temples and frowned.

" you know what. Sure. Are we going out?" I asked. I should stay on base to monitor the other subjects. But I wasn't feeling particularly obligated, and the idea of drinks was tempting.

" yes! Would you like to join us?" Asked Reinhardt.

" who is going ?" I asked cautiously.

" me Torbjorn. Jesse Lena and Lucio" said Reinhardt.

" alright. I need to check on 76 and Lucio first" I said.

" and change" said Torbjorn with a wink. I frowned harder.

I was in my comfortable clothes. And besides that. That was rude.

" well we shall send them in for yeh" said Torbjorn. I smiled and nodded.

After a few minutes Lucio came in. Happily skating around and chatting about how great his amplifier was and how excited he was about tonight.

I nodded and went through all the checks I needed too.

" have you seen 76?" I asked.

" nope. But he's a loner. Probably hiding out in his cave or somethin' " he said heading towards the door " we leave in an hour".

I figured I should go get ready while I waited to hear from jack. I changed into my green skater dress and shiny black leggings. Carefully applying my makeup with dark smokey eyes and a dark lipstick. I half pulled up my hair. I was so used to my pony tails and messy buns I decided to do something different for a change. Sliding into my favorite boots I left the room. Still no sign of jack. I walked to his door but was shocked to find him waiting outside my office. I walked up to him heels clicking as I walked.

" ah you showed up" I said. Reaching for my door. I could feel his eyes on my back.

" well come in" I said with mild frustration. I didn't want to be mean but it had been a long day dealing with him.

" Angela. I'm sorry" he said once the door closed behind him.

" thank you. " I said as he slid his arm out of his jacket. I strapped the cuff around his bicep. And lightly blushed as I touched him. Touching him would just bring back everything. Blood pressure normal. I slid the stethoscope into my ears and listened to his heart.

" your heart rate is elevated " I said.

" well" he said.

My eyebrows furrowed. " are you feeling all right?" I asked with concern.

" Angela. " he said softly.

I shook my head. " what?"

I let out a sigh. His heart pounding faster.

Then it occurred to me. I'm bending over him. And in my low cut dress. I blushed.

. " I'm sorry. I didn't mean to get upset with you. I just. I don't want to be tested like I'm fragile" he said.

I leaned against my desk.

" I know. And you aren't. I just worry about you, which I need to stop doing because if you can do anything it's take care of yourself. " I said softly. Trying to not think of the years he was in hiding.

" well I just wanted to-" he started but the door flew open. And Lucio and Lena burst in

I scowled at them " I'm with a patient" I said sternly.

" oooooh we are in trouble!" Shouted Lucio.

I shook my head.

" oi! Ask your friend if he wants to come! We are going to the rusty nail! " shrieked Lena. As they closed the door scooting out of it.

I sighed.

" you were saying?"

" nothing forget it"

" well if you want to come you can? I would like to monitor your heart rate " I said.

" I'll just stay in. If I need anything I'll let Winston know. Or Athena. " he said.

" are you sure. You have my number right?" I asked.

He nodded " yeah Winston gave me a new one. And it has everyone's contacts".

" okay. Just let me check you again" I said. Listening to his heart relax was comforting.

I started to regret agreeing to go out.

" are you sure you will be alright?" I asked.

" I said I will be fine. " he said a bit more gruffly. A lump formed in my throat and I nodded.

He got up and walked with me out the door. Holding it for me.

" well. Hum. Have a goodnight. I might ah. I probably will check on you when I get back".

" don't worry about it. " he said. Walking towards Winston. Lucio was trying to get him to go and Jesse was laughing saying he never comes out with us.

Lena raced over to me " oh love you look fantastic! " she squealed grabbing my arm.

" we tried convincing Ana but she declined. And so did Winston and Genji. " said Lucio with a slight pout.

But then he did another take at me, and grabbed my other arm.

We said our goodbyes and piled into a beat up truck we used sometimes for in town runs. It was the most inconspicuous vehicle. And Reinhardt could fit in it. I sat in the back with him and Lena. Jesse was driving for whatever reason. We did have an auto drive installed for these nights thankfully. In a short amount of time we arrived at the local run down bar. Nobody cared about anybody there. We all had a few drinks and relaxed talking about the day. Lucio looked at how much Reinhardt and Torbjorn were drinking. " I'll bet you two win a lot of drinking contests! " he said. Downing his beer.

" that we do my friend! " roared Reinhardt. I smiled. And laughed.

I was feeling slightly tipsy. I had the bartender give me a potent mixture.

" I'll bet. I can drink you under the table" I said slightly slurring. I knew the effects wouldn't last long. So why not test my theories. They all turned and looked startled.

" oh now this is a wager I'll stake a bet on! " shouted Jesse. Lena gasped and went " love! Are you sure!"

I nodded and motioned for the bartender. Soon Reinhardt and I had tall steins. I chugged a bit. The malty taste warming me.

" don't worry I've got this" I said with a wink.

They groaned slightly. As Reinhardt and I polished off our first round I started feeling tipsy. Jesse and Lena got up to get us another round. A guy approached them and I perked up. Lena was smiling and nodding. They walked back each carrying our drinks.

" you know. I told. You guys not to drink and I'm encouraging it. Haaaa" I laughed. Smiling brightly and chugging a bit and Torbjorn started talking war stories. And I snuggled into Lena's side while drinking.

" your hair is so perfect. How. Is it so perfect. Mines a mess" I muttered st her. She stroked my hair oh love it's called t- racer racing hair " she giggled. I finished my drink and waved at Reinhardt " you need to stop yammering and start hammering " I scolded. Slurring my words. I motioned for another and another was brought right over. The guy Lena and Jesse had been talking too sat down next to me.

" hello little lady " he said with a smile. I laughed audibly at him.

" jesseeeee is this. This. Is this your brother?" I asked. Laughing and taking another drink.

" ma'am I can assure you. He's not my brother" said the man.

" well then who else talks like you?!" I said with a laugh. Lena looked from me to Jesse.

" ma'am I would like to buy you your next drink "

" oh no. No i'm fine" I said running my hands through my hair. Was I flirting. What is flirting anymore anyways? He wasn't bad looking. He just. Wasn't my type at all. Then I saw his teeth. Filed like razors.

" and what's your name?" He asked. I held back a laugh.

" not tonight" I said.

" aw come on. Not even a name? " he touched my shoulder. I seized up.

" my names chainsaw" he said.

" I can't imagine why" I joked.

Turning back to Lena and Jesse hoping he would back off. I finished another drink. And Reinhardt brought me another. His cheeks were red.

" doctor I fear you are doing better than I thought " he admitted.

" surely you must be tricking us. Or working on a formula for unstoppable drinking. My mind felt so dizzy. And I couldn't think straight. So when I felt a hand on my shoulder turning me. I completely lost it.

" I gave you my name. Now what is yours? " said chainsaw.

" not interested" I slurred.

" now that isn't very nice " he crooned. Then reached another grubby hand towards me. I gripped his arm and felt a pop.

" fucking bitch!" He yelled.

Jesse stood up immediately. Along with Lucio

" sir. I'll reckon you should leave the lady alone. Now. "

" nobody calls my friend a Bitch " growled Lucio.

" she fucking fucked my shoulder " my head was spinning and pounding.

" I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. You touched me! " I shouted.

I saw his hand raised towards me and Reinhardt slammed his hand on the table.

" touch my friend and you will meet your end" he said.

I sprang up and grabbed his injured arm anchoring my knee into his back and relocating the shoulder.

" I'm sorry. But but. Uh. verpissen Arschloch" I said. German slipping into my words. Fuck. ( it means : fuck off asshole).

He rubbed his arm and ran off to his group of friend who were laughing at him.

" we should probably get out of here" said Lena. Looking mildly concerned mostly drunk.

" no. No. We are having fun. I need fun. I love fun" I slurred.

I cuddled into her " ich liebe dich Freund" I whispered into her ear. ( I love you friend).

" aw shucks ange. You know German makes me all bothered" she teased. Lightly punching my arm. My mind unfortunately went to jack in that moment. In the heat of some moments I would moan in German, which he always thought was hysterical, but also a huge turn on that I reverted to my native tongue. He tried to learn some German and was actually pretty quick at picking it up. Fuck. I hope he is okay. I twisted my hair.

" now. Reinhardt. I believe I am one ahead ahead. Offfff youuu" I said.

" you would be right. I believe you might have won"

" nonsense... bar. Barrrr I we need another round" the bartender looked at us suspiciously.

" I'll reckon you twisted his friend's arm" said Jesse. " and I'll wager I lost this bet".

Lena got up and grabbed the drinks. The room was pleasantly spinning and I had my feet propped up. Slightly moving to the music that was playing and giggling.

" well yeh made a safe bet" said Torbjorn.

" yeah, how was I supposed to know the doc was pounding drinks while away from us?" Said Jesse with a laugh.

" yeah apparently she hasn't pounded in awhile" teased Lena.

I blushed. " Lena! We. You. Don't talk about my stuff " I was probably bright red.

" you know. Your right. When she was around me she drank a lot but never left with anyone" said Lucio looking over at me.

But it's true. I hadn't been with anyone at all since jack. I hadn't kissed anyone either. Stop. Stop. Thinking. I felt some tears fall from my eyes. I quickly wiped them away.

" Jesse if I win. I get your hat and poncho" I lit a cigarette and leaned back eyeing him.

" now hold on. That wasn't the bet" he argued.

" I don't want money. I want to wear your hat" I said giggling.

Lucio laughed with Lena.

I finished off the drink and Reinhardt relented. " my friend it appears you have won fair and square. Jesse. give her what she's won"

Lena was giggling so hard and snatched his hat and poncho, placing them onto me. I smiled at her. Her smile was so beautiful. Her adorable little nose and laughter.

" oh and your cigar !" I said making grabby hands.

" easy there! " he laughed. Chainsaw and his group started to approach us. I tried to stand up to move closer to Reinhardt. But my legs fell out from under me. Landing on my butt and giggling.

But their group got right up to us. I scrambled up.

" on this note I think we should all take our leave. " said Jesse.

" yeah. Someone help me with her " said Lucio pointing at me. I sighed. Reinhardt picked me up with one hand and threw me over his shoulder.

" I'm flying!" I shouted. Kicking my feet.

" careful!" Said Reinhardt. As we passed the group I shouted.

" sorry about your arm Arschloch" ( asshole). This was highly out of character for me. But my head and body felt so drunk. I couldn't remember being this drunk. Except for the last Halloween with jack. Ugh jack. Stop stop stop stop thinking about him.

I shouted stop it out-loud a few times. Causing alarm. I hadn't even noticed we were in the car and on our way back.

Lena was stroking my hair and I was sitting on her apparently. Her arms wrapped around my waist so I didn't fly around. Something about it was extremely comforting. Every time I had a slight physical contact I felt a yearning for it. I just wanted to curl up with jack. Stroke his hair and kiss his neck while drifting off into sleep.

" hey love. Love. " Lena startled me. And I realized with a huge blush that I had kissed her neck. Luckily it was dark so no one noticed besides obviously her.

" Es tut mir Leid" ( I'm sorry) I repeated again and again.

" love I don't understand but it's okay".

We arrived back at the base, I tried to stand but I tripped. Feeling a slight crack in my ankle. Why did I wear heels. I yelped in pain.

" don't worry my friend. I've got you!" Said Reinhardt. He scooped me up. And threw me over his shoulder this time. My head facing his shoulder blades.

" offfft careful. " I said. I could hear the doors opening and Ana laughing softly with Winston.

" oh no. What happened to Angela? " asked Winston. Lena burst into giggling.

" she challenged Reinhardt to a drinking contest" laughed Lena.

" and won! " said Jesse feeling naked without his hat and poncho.

I kicked my feet into Reinhardt chest. " put me down put me down" I shrieked.

I heard Genji softly laugh.

" how. What?!" Asked Winston.

" don't ask us! But she dislocated a guys shoulder! Felt so bad she cracked it back in for him"

" Angela. You know this behavior is frowned upon. " said Ana holding back a laugh.

" well he started it. Apparently Angela cannot deal with flirt" said Lucio.

" oh please his name was chainsaw" I argued. My head still spinning slightly. The effects were wearing off. " I have work to doooooo" I whined. Kicking my legs into Reinhardts chest again.

Torbjorn was laughing pretty hard at this point.

" she's more of a pistol now than ever"

" halt den Mund" I hissed at him ( hold your tongue).

" oh and she's been speaking in German soooo there's that " said Lucio.

" she said hold your tongue " said jack. I didn't know he was there. Then again my ass was facing the group. Luckily in leggings.

" ah well , she's making sense now"

Said Torbjorn.

" please put me down. I'm finnnne" I whined.

" to bed with you" said Ana firmly.

" I'm quite fine. Just a bit. Hum. A bit. Drunk" I argued.

Reinhardt flipped me down. Holding me steadily in his arms. I straightened Jesse's hat on my head.

" am I going to get that back?" Asked Jesse.

" nope. It's mine now" I said. A smile on my lips. " unless you take me outside"

" all right. Hand her over " said Jesse extending his arms, Reinhardt gently placed me in his arms.

" I'm going to get some rest" said Reinhardt waving to everyone.

Torbjorn followed behind him.

"Hey. Hey. Hey. Guess what time it is?!" Shrieked Lena.

" it's hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh nooooooooon" I said doing my best Jesse impression.

" hey easy! I can drop you anytime I want" said Jesse with a laugh.

" noooooo" I squealed. I pulled the cigar from him. And wriggled free. Sitting on the floor of the main area and smiling up at them.

I puffed on it and hiccuped.

" my apologies. But I'm feeling much better now " I said. Leaning against the wall for back support on the ground. Ana laughed.

" well I'm glad you had fun" she said. " and I assume you got all the data ready earlier?"

" of course, I wouldn't have left. With. With without completing it". Shoot my brain is lagging a bit. All of this was also valuable information. Why? I don't know. It's not like it was important to be able to still get drunk. But I could feel the warmth and giddiness wearing off.

" I forgot to check their hum. Their blood pressure " I said with a slight whine.

" wait. Wait. Lucio. Let me check yours and him. You! " I pointed at jack " I'll do you after".

Lena stifled a giggle. And so did Jesse.

Ana went to get me my supplies, I guess she assumed the walk would tire me out. Winston was yawning. " Angela. I'll be waking you up tomorrow if I don't see you in time" he said.

Ana returned with my things and I managed to get Lucio's information and input it into the pad. Slight headache. But I was normalish. His vitals were strong. He left to go to sleep. As did Jesse and Lena. But he stole back his poncho and hat first. I lightly growled.

" wait. Why do I need to be up early ?" I looked at Ana.

She sighed and looked at jack " he will explain, I'm going to go get some rest and you should too"

I sighed. I was still rather dizzy.

I took off my boots flinging them near the door. My ankle was swollen but the bruising was going down. I limped into a chair.

" okay. So what's going on ?" I asked wincing slightly.

" I wanted to try the full dose tomorrow. I got my vitals checked by Athena earlier. " I nodded. Rubbing my temples.

" that's fine. " I said. I was in no mood to argue. If he wanted to do it he could I couldn't stop him regardless.

" but. We wanted to try the damage increase with it. " he added.

I arched an eyebrow. " but why. "

" just to fully see the potential of what you have created".

I sighed heavily " in other words what kind of killing machines I can make"

" you know what you are doing is valuable. You help create more efficient field devices. Devices that save lives. And instead you wallow in self doubt because some horrible people will be killed in the cross hairs "

I chewed on my lip. " you know how I feel about this "

" yes. I do but it's something that needs to be done. Someone has to try it and I volunteered. " he said.

But why. I could have easily redone the test on someone else and boosted them. Why him.

I ran a hand absently through my hair and stared at him. I wish I could see his whole face. I just needed to see it again. His mask felt so emotionless. But I think that's the point.

I leaned forward and whispered softly.

" I may have been recruited to help but I feel I have hurt more than helped. "

His posture changed. And he let himself be on my level. I could almost see his eyes in his mask. Just almost or maybe it was something I so desperately wanted to see that I was willing to believe it.

" you are an intelligent woman. And you will learn to get over this constant self doubt. It's hindering you and we need you focused. " his voice was gruff with a mix of concern.

I was just inches away from his face.

" thank you" I said softly.

I grabbed my medical gear " I need to uh. Check your stuff" I said. Forgetting my words. The partial buzz still remaining. He lightly laughed under his mask.

He removed his jacket and I put the cuff around his arm. And then listened to his heart. Typed some things into my pad. Then I listened to his heart again. I wanted to fall asleep to it's beat. As I used to do. In his arms. His face buried in my neck.

I felt his hand touch my arm " Angela" he softly said. " did you fall asleep ?"

" ich vermisse dich" I replied ( I miss you).

He sighed. It sounded deeper in his mask.

" I'm sorry. I..." my voice trailed off tears filling my eyes as I wrote in more information.

" Angela " he said.

I looked up at him. Trying desperately to read what what under the mask.

" you need to get your rest " he bluntly said.

" right. " I said. " you should as well for real this time. "

He stood up. And I attempted too. But my coordination was still slightly off. That would need to be recorded

" need help?" He asked.

" I should be able to manage" I attempted another step. Followed by another. It was pretty unpredictable. They felt like weights had been attached. This was weird. But the rest of me was no longer drunk.

I heard a slight laugh.

" did you really dislocate and relocate a shoulder?" He asked.

" I guess so. Does that make me a terrible person ?"

" depends on what happened" he replied. I could feel his arm hovering behind my back in case I fell. It never touched me but I could feel the presence of it.

" eh. He wanted to know my name. And apparently more than that. So he grabbed my shoulder. " I said with a slight shudder.

" then he called me a bitch at some point ".

I heard him snarl slightly under his mask " then he deserved it. Probably not the free shoulder resetting though"

" ah yes. I'll bring my bill sheet next time "

He laughed a little and I tripped slightly in shock of hearing his laugh. It was weird in the mask. He caught me. His hands holding my waist. I pressed myself against him and lightly hugged him. He winced slightly as if afraid of my touch. I pulled away.

" I'm sorry, I just" I stopped myself. I didn't want to frighten him. I didn't know what was going on in that head of his. But his flinching was fairly telling. He sighed softly and lightly touched my arm. With his gloved hand.

" I didn't. I didn't expect that" he said.

" i understand" we had reached my door. I didn't want to leave him. But I didn't want to freak him out. " you can come in if you would like. We could talk or"

" I think you need rest. " he said after an awkwardly long pause. My eyes were glassy. I just wanted him so bad, not just physically but emotionally. His would take time. If he even still cared about me like that at all.

" but if you do need to talk. Please know I will always listen. No matter the time of night. " I said softly.

" thank you. But I'm fine " he said the emotion drained from his answer.

" I would like to hug you if that's okay"

" I don't think that would be appropriate " he said.

I turned my head. Tears openly falling. " get some rest. I'll see you in the morning. " I said. Opening my door and disappearing inside. Letting the tears roll down my face as I washed it. Brushing my hair back and sliding into one of his old shirts. I was hopeless. I had too much hope in the impossible. He doesn't care anymore. I cried myself to sleep. But at least I got sleep.

Jacks pov:

Her hug had caught me off guard. The smell of her hair washed over me. She always smelled of sugar. Her touch was intoxicating. Everything about her was wonderful and depressing. It was like the scars on my body mimicked the scars she left on me internally. I sound like a lovesick idiot. I need to concentrate. I need to destroy those who tore us all apart in the first place. I'm not sure what she wants from me. Besides to heal me. I don't need healing, I need to finish the job I started. And not lose focus this time. But her being around was a distraction, just as I distracted her. She should be focusing on the entire team and it just me. She should be living her life. Not mourning someone who wasn't coming back. I had hurt her so much before, I had left her. No amount of apologies could make this up to her.

The only thing I could do is restore what she used to have at overwatch, stability in her work and success with it. That's the best thing I can give her. However I didn't need to be so mean to her. I just don't know how to properly control myself, her voice takes me back and depresses me.

My pacing began. I straightened the sheet on my bed, then crumpled it. Throwing my mask off. It slid across the floor. Stupid. Stupid. If you break this one and cannot repair it in time then they all will know.

Ana and I had a good talk earlier with Winston about the experiments. I'm glad they agreed and trusted it to be tried on me. Ana knew me. Winston had an idea but wasn't fully informed. All in good time. But he trusted Ana who trusted me. I don't know how well things would go over if he knew who I was. But he did accept Jesse, but Jesse mccree was different. He had been blackwatch and before that a deadlock member. Then turned overwatch after Reyes had failed him. That name always triggered my nightmares. That complete asshole. I trusted him. I trusted him. Instead he got my men and women killed. Destroyed overwatch and was probably out there somewhere because of my love. My ex love. Still love. I still love her. Keep her out of this. She couldn't possibly love you back. You are no longer strong. Weak. You are weak. People died because of your arrogance. Weakness. Inability to leave.

Failure. You are worthless jack. Always have been. Always will be. Should have stayed on the farm. Should have never joined, accepted the positions. Taken her away from her head position in a hospital. I ruined her.

She has every right to hate me. She's in love with the old me. She could never love me again. And I would fail. Fail her. Fail the team. I would be better off gone. If I was gone nobody would know. Just another soldier dead. Like all the others that died under my watch. All the innocent lives dying since overwatch fell. Lives on my name. I caused this. I caused this. I could see the faces of dead agents. Burning in rubble, shot in the head. I ran my hands over my face. I'm nothing more than a monster. And nobody would ever even realize if I died again. She would probably finally be able to move on with a body. I paced harder. My heart racing I fell onto he floor shaking. I'm weak. So weak.

 **A/N: I am still so thrilled with everyone who is reading this! i hope this chapter was okay!**


	23. Chapter 23

My pillow was covered in makeup I forgot to wash off. The mirror reflected the same. Stepping into the warm shower was a relief. Knowing what the day held... not so much. He hurts so much inside, I think he fails to see people genuinely caring. I quickly got dressed but took some time with my makeup, I needed to either bleach or re-color my hair soon. Ugh.

As I walked out of my room I spotted Ana and Winston waiting. I knew I wasn't late so I walked up to them.

" Angela, there's been some threats going on near Route 66 , we are going to need you to prep everything and work more on lucios amp. But for now we will test the rest of this tech on soldier 76"

" what kind of threat?"

" possibly talon. They are looking to expand their bases, and I guess taking over a defunct town would be ideal for them in a power play. We just need to make sure that doesn't happen"

I nodded. Walking with them into the testing range. Jack was sitting in a chair rechecking his pulse rifle, he looked up when we walked in.

I slightly waved and went to filling the dart, and handing it to Ana. Then I went to change into my suit, which only took moments.

" so I guess we are testing you with my boost before and after?"

The group nodded. I checked jacks vitals and recorded them. My own hands shook a little and I tried putting everything out of my mind. We walked into the testing range together and motioned that we were ready. Winston was taking notes for me as was Athena, but artificial intelligence knows what to do usually.

" ready when you are" I said to jack. He slightly grunted and motioned to Winston. I shot a beam at him of blue light and he began attacking the first two waves. Then Ana fired the shot and he was unstoppable. I followed him as best as I could. Having to use my wings more than once just to keep in step. Out of practice is what I was, I would need to train harder it seems. We had a pace we worked together with though. I would step into his motions. And could anticipate his movements despite them being erratic, I had followed him for years before... nope. Focus.

Wave after wave. I kept up with him somehow. Then he finally said " okay it's worn off". I relaxed and we walked out together. I grabbed my pad from Winston and stared at the data. He did just as well as yesterday but doubled his efficiency.

He came over to look at the reports with me.

" this is excellent soldier" I said switching so he could see the color of tests. The red from today showed the massive progress.

" you just need to keep up with me better " he said.

" excuse you" I said with minor annoyance.

" well. If you cannot keep up then how do you expect this to work?" He asked

" wouldn't this data be useless if you couldn't double the boost?"

" well yes. So"

" so what I'm saying is. You need to keep up. Whether training more or getting a boost yourself. " he said plainly.

" he does have a point. He is one of the most valuable in combat assets. And if he cannot be used as such and get the proper treatment then there is almost no point " said Ana

" there is a point. With the nano boost he is more efficient and faster. My boost just provides an amplifying kick, it's not necessary and probably slightly dangerous" I replied digging my nails into the palms of my hands. I do need to train more , but to be so all or nothing about it was ridiculous.

" we leave in the early hours tomorrow. I suggest once you work on lucios amp you train with soldier" said Winston.

I arched an eyebrow. " fine" I muttered. I had to go find torbjorn and lucio anyways and get out of this suit for now. I took it off and carefully put it away. Swearing the entire time out loud. I shouldn't be taking this personally but for some reason I am. It's a logical request if I cannot help my team then I'm killing them.

I found lucio and torbjorn, we talked over coffee and plans. The warm liquid causing me to clear my head a bit as I focused on the healing portion of his weapon. It lasted a few hours and I huffed off to the roof for a few to smoke and hopefully get a moments peace. The smoke filled the air and I spotted jack coming outside under my feet.

" Verdammt" I uttered. I needed this moment alone. I saw him turn his head and I scurried away from the ledge. Get ahold of yourself. You are a grown woman. Not a child about to be punished. I sighed. Finishing my smoke and climbing down the ladder. Jack was waiting.

" it's about time" he said.

" sorry. Stuff with lucio and torbjorn took longer than I expected. " I muttered.

" and hiding ?"

" I needed a moment"

" in war there are-"

" no moments soldier! " I said mimicking him. Fuck. I am acting like a child. I heard a slight laugh come from him.

" Angela go change. I managed to get Lena and Jesse to help with your training as well. " he said.

" what lucio ignore you?"

" I don't know how to approach him" he said.

" you say ' hi I'm soldier 76 would you like to play with me?' " I joked.

" not funny"

" it was to me. " I said. " I'll be back I'll grab him if you want but I think he wanted to practice using his amp" I said.

" run doctor"

I picked up my pace and turned around running backwards " yes sir" then spun forward and ran inside. I quickly changed. Back into the suit. Grabbing my cadeceus and looking quickly for lucio. He was no where to be found and I didn't fully feel like pulling the whole team outside.

Lena was yawning and walking outside with Jesse.

" hey love. Gotta whip you back into shape " she joked.

" don't remind me " I uttered as we walked towards jack.

" what. If anyone can I'll bet it will be him! So grumpy!" She teased. " I'll bet you could fix that" she added

" Lena. Not everyone is a potential mate and not everything is fixed with sex" I said sternly. My face was probably flushed.

" I don't know love, you both seem grumpy! Could work some of that off!"

I angrily turned to her " my frustration is not sexual!" I swung my arms around turning away from her and slammed right into jack. Yeah. Just what I needed to make this day worse. Yelling about sex and running into your undead boyfriend... i knew i was blushing.

While Lena was giggling with Jesse

" speaking of grumpy, whaddya want us to do?"

" create a mock fight. I need you to on and off fake injury and yell out. And dart around. Ana will be shouting out which of you is boosted and Angela will have to work accordingly. " Stated Jack.

I readjusted my messy bun on my head. " ready when you are" I said. I wasn't actually feeling ready but what choice did I have.

Everyone darted in various directions. My landing needed work. My well. Everything needed work. I flew to whoever yelled out for me, jack was talking through my comm creating enemies that I could only hear about and not see. So I remembered to watch my back. Truthfully I didn't care too much. If I was taken down I should heal remotely quick. So it was one less thing to worry about , but they didn't know that.

I darted around obsticals and flew to Jesse who was playing the distressed patient. Flailing around and screaming. It was quiet hysterical. As I " treated him" I felt someone grab me from behind and started dragging me

I kicked and wriggled. Finally twisting myself to break free to see Lena giggling.

" what the?" I asked

" had to make it real. You forgot to check over your shoulder. Tall, silver and grumpy told me to go for it"

I playfully punched her shoulder as I got another alert. Back and forth. This went on for two hours. Until finally Ana called out that we were needed in the meeting room.

I linked arms with Lena and Jesse followed. Jack was behind us.

" honestly though. Sorry I teased ya, ya know I love you " she said. Kissing my temple.

" hey soldier boy how do you think she did out there?" Asked Lena

He grunted.

" eh take that one as a compliment" said Jesse.

We reached the doors of the room and the rest of the team was waiting.

Winston looked upset as Ana was rattling off information to him. Torbjorn was fiddling with a contraption and lucio was being well. Lucio, while genji listened in.

" good now that everyone is here we can get started" said Winston pulling up a holo map.

" we have heard rumors of talon taking over the abandoned Route 66 being used as a base for talon. For those of you who don't know talon has recruited some members from blackwatch , these members will know us well, so we need to exercise extreme caution in the area while attempting to reclaim the area" Winston sighed. Adjusting his glasses.

" I would like to recruit some more members but now doesn't feel like the right time, since we leave in a few hours"

" I could get hanzo there , possibly zenyatta" said genji.

" that would be helpful but I'm Not sure of the time schedule they could be there in" said Winston. I smiled. I did miss hanzo and I only briefly met zenyatta. Genji fiddled with his phone. While Winston carried on.

He was explaining how figuring out who was working for talon exactly.

The mission plan sounded simple. And everything felt rather normal. We were told to rest a bit and be prepared to leave within four hours. We wanted to move in darkness.

" so basically we are going on a mission to figure out exactly what we are dealing with by moving them out and trying to get their records" said Winston.

" so what does zees mean for us exactly " asked Reinhardt.

" well. I'll be talking with Ana and 76 on how to best deal with our entry, Jesse I will also need you to sit in, as you know this place well"Winston stated. Jesse tipped his hat and nodded.

" how do we know we can trust 76?" Asked Reinhardt. Our heads all turned to him.

" ziss is true, we don't know much about him and you are letting him in on talon missions " said torbjorn.

I tried to hide my disappointment in them but luckily Ana took over.

" after I was shot down by talon. I went after them, that's how I met him. He had multiple dead agents around him , I don't believe a talon agent would go to the lengths he has with me on the mere chance he could help an ex overwatch agent on the off chance that he will be recruited. " said Ana bluntly.

I hid a smile behind my hand.

" good enough" said Reinhardt.

" it's fine to be on edge but do not doubt my judgement " said Ana sternly.

" alright the rest of you are free to go pack and rest up. We leave in four hours" said Winston.

Lena and I walked out with torbjorn, Reinhardt, lucio and genji.

The rest stayed back to discuss strategy. I needed rest but i should probably work on filling the darts with nanoboost.

" torbjorn do you have anymore of those darts?" I asked.

" yes! Just give me a moment. I'll bring them to your lab" he said scuttling off.

I made some more nanoboost and filled the bullet darts soon after torbjorn dropped them off.

Two hours till we leave I thought with a sigh. I prepped my med kit. We had a large enough supply on the flyer but I always needed one on me in case.

I heard a small knock on the door it was already open and jack was standing there. Please please don't be another lecture.

" Ana just wanted to make sure you had the boost ready."

" yep" I said grabbing the small box that contained them. I handed them over to him.

" thanks" he said turning to leave but paused " you should have gotten rest"

" yeah well. You know me" I said. reaching for a protein bar.

"oh god, you still eat those?" he asked sounding slightly shocked and amused.

"yeah, i mean, it's either this or an abnormal amount of carbs" i said muttering into my papers.

"do you need something to eat before this mission? i don't want you fainting out there" he said.

"i have not once fainted on the field " i argued, beside getting unjured, but usually it was a brief moment and i woke up immediately.

"unless of course you are offering food, which i wouldn't turn down" i added.

" i could? " he said

" no no, but i will accept your offer at another time, for now i need to eat this and i'll be fine" i said with a smile. Food offers can be considered as progress...

He nodded " well, uh thank you for these" he said motioning to the bullet darts.

" not a problem, saved me a trip" i said looking back down at my papers as he left.

I braided my hair up and out of the way, while eating my protein bar. I headed out to the main area to drink coffee and wait. I knew I could nap on the flight over. Genji was meditating in the corner. And I could hear jack and Ana arguing about something softly in the distance. I grabbed some coffee and sighed waiting. Genji walked up to me. " would you like to join me?" He asked softly. I smiled at him.

" we can stretch but I don't think I can go full zen"

" very well" he said.

He carefully went into the lotus and motioned for me to join. Regulating our breathing. We moved through the warm ups before switching to the harder positions. Our old rituals when we lived together. It felt comforting and he had tricked me into feeling more relaxed. As I inhaled and exhaled slowly easy into the scorpion pose. I felt my body relax and tense up at the same time. My spine carefully bending suspended above my head as my arms slowly lifted me up, toes pointed down at my head. Genji carefully corrected my back into a more C shape which I was thankful for. I held this pose for awhile. Somehow it always made my back feel better, each disc slipping into place. And I breathed. Then heard shouting. Genji put his arms behind my legs and helped me ease back to the ground. Had he not been there when I was startled it would have been a beautiful face plant.

" aw were you doin' yoga without me?" Pouted Lena as she slid into a chair.

" didn't want to wake you" I said.

" ah. Not much to wake up , hardly slept"

Ana came out and looked at Lena " we need the flyer prepped. Wheels up in twenty. ".

Lena sighed and rushed off.

I went to go grab my gear and load it onto the jet. I put it in my usual spot and noticed Winston and jack still talking. This shouldn't be too tough of a mission. But then again last time was supposed to be easy too. I just want to go help the more populated areas but I guess dealing with each small out post was worth the trouble, and would help decrease their numbers. I got into my seat and curled up. I know the rest of them will be here soon. Lena was chattering to herself. Mostly swearing and flipping the controls around. Soon enough everyone was on board and we were in the air.

Jack was mostly going over things with Winston still. I don't understand what exactly they are planning.

Finally they broke the silence. Jack took the seat next to me as Winston briefed us.

" We will move in teams of three, we desperately need this to be an in and out mission. The less engagement we do and the more take downs the better. " I sighed. Great just going in and killing. Great.

" the plan is to send in Ana to scout along with Jesse. They will both be on opposite sides of the canyon. It's not too far if they wanted they could sprint to each other. Genji you will follow after Jesse but keep some distance, lucio we will need you with Reinhardt but that won't happened right away. Not until we are sure we have what we 76 will be all over. Checking on our groups and picking off what we located on our maps " he paused and looked at me.

" Angela, you will be with Jesse, but I don't want you interfering while he is checking the area. You know to hold back and wait for his or my signal. It's very important you just stick to this plan. " said Winston.

I nodded. Torbjorn would be building his turret outside of the base for the beginning. As they trickled out it would pick them off. Everything was set into motion.

I slid into my suit and waited. One of my wings felt slightly weird and I sat on the floor so torbjorn could look it over.

He removed them from me and hammered on something.

" there... those should hold but don't overuse them" he said with a grunt.

I slid them back on and nodded. Since I was mostly sticking in stealth with Jesse. Ha. These wings ? Stealth ? I didn't plan on using them as much. We arrived at the location and each took our leave. I watched Jack sprint off with torbjorn.

We were the next to be dropped off. I made sure my watch was matching up with the others. Jesse sprinted ahead of me while I followed carefully behind. The sides of the cavern were really beautiful.

Jesse stopped behind some abandoned building and motioned for me. I crept up to him and sat in ready position.

" no signs at two clicks out" said soldier over the comm.

weird.

Genji crept up behind us. His shurikins readied.

" it's too quiet. I can't stand quiet. " said Jesse.

" nothing out here " said Ana. Her voice sounded tense.

Is this some sort of trap?

" aw hell" muttered Jesse. He flipped onto his comm

" we got dead lock" he said. His guns readied.

What?! No. This was supposed to be talon. Just talon.

" and talon" hisses Ana.

Shit.

I boosted Jesse. As he jumped out taking aim.

" Winston, mccree is engaging" said Genji.

" sending out Reinhardt and lucio" said Winston.

We could hear Reinhardt roaring in the distance. A shot whizzed by my head.

" mercy back" said Genji pushing me. I fell back on my ass and looked up at him. My heart was racing. This felt like an ambush. Shots fired from above and around us. Genji deflecting as I boosted Jesse.

" Winston send in tracer, reinhardts shield is damaged. I didn't peer down at the team. Too focused on my own but I saw the heal pad beacon lit up.

" what's happening down there?" I shouted into my comm.

" taking damage get down here " shouted lucio. I heard the boost of his amp rocketing people off.

" stay where you are we will make our way up when we can" said 76 angrily.

My head raced. but i kept my thoughts calm and leveled.

" Ana nanoboost Reinhardt" shouted 76.

" I'm on it" said Ana. " you're powered up get the hell in there"

We heard crashing and screaming from talon and blackwatch.

I saw the bursts of helix rockets.

Shouting from lucio echoed on the comms.

Lena appeared behind us. Shooting upwards

" we have snipers" shouted Lena.

Genji got hit and I charged my healing onto him.

" I'm fine. Get mccree" said Genji. As mccree got hit in the leg. He fell to the ground. Firing upwards. A sniper fell to their death. I healed Jesse and looked at the team with me. As I felt a bullet hit my wings. Fuck.

Torbjorn turrets could be heard as more snipers fell from the cliffs.

Soon the snipers had been removed from the canyon walls and we raced to the bottom. I was using my wings to glide over the team. My eyes caught 76 and lucio pushing talon off the canyon.

Reinhardt was fighting with a fury. His hammer slamming down on the deadlock members. One took aim at Jesse, but he ducked. The bullet knocking his hat off.

" that was a bit too close. " he said.

" pull back. " said Ana

"We got this" said 76 gruffly. More showers of bullets raining down. Genji ran down with them. Slicing as he went. Jesse took a bullet to the stomach.

I flew over to him. My wings failing more and more with each use. I ran and healed him. " mccree. Retreat. You can't keep taking the damage" I said sharply.

" tracer get him out of here" I shouted to her. She nodded then a bullet slammed her leg. I ran and healed. It would only do so much. These needed to be properly treated.

" I can manage" said mccree.

" Winston. Do something" I shouted

" situation" he asked.

" multiple bullets taken. Abdomen. Leg". I said. Assessing the damages. Blood was leaking.

" mccree pull out" said Winston.

Jesse gave me such a glare.

"These were my men. I'm taking them down with Me" he fired off more shots the bullets landing into them fatally.

Our ledge was cleared. And we ran towards the group on the ground. Jesse was limping. Lena had slowed down.

"Scheisse fine!" I shouted into my comm. the bullet flew and hit Jesse as I added a boost. Lena was darting around. Killing as she could. I pulled out my pistol and fired a few shots as well. Then i switched back to my healing to help Jesse remain focused. Jesse fired all around. Shots kept raining down.

Jesse was firing like a mad man on a mission. Taking out dead lock members. I tried to block out the looks of shock as they fell. Was it betrayal or something else. No time to think.

Genji jumped over my head deflecting a bullet that was aimed for me.

" mercy. Move" he shouted.

I hid behind a rock.

" keep me updated" I said. Feeling utterly useless.

" mccree took another bullet. " said Lena screaming.

I glided to him. Half stumbling on my landing. I applied healing. I could see the boost was wearing off.

" get out of here. You are dead weight" said 76 to Jesse.

Jesse slumped down. Blood streaming from his leg. Jack threw down a biotech field around us. I tied off the leg and looked at Lena. " get. Him. Out of here" I said.

She nodded. And helped him up. I added healing and off they went. Lucio and Reinhardt pushing for the hold. We were almost taking the base. But more talon appeared from the sides flanking us.

" spread out" ordered Winston.

Lena reappeared behind them firing at them and dropping some as jack fired off some more rockets. Reinhardt slammed down his hammer. The remaining members fell to the ground and he charged through them slamming. Genji ran up and sliced. I jumped behind jack charging him. He glanced back. " Ana. Boost me" he said. As Ana shot him. I kept up with him giving him a boost. As he fired up at more snipers. I heard Lucio scream, he was surround and shot but switched to his healing thankfully. He could be helped later. Right now clearing this area was more important.

I noticed more agents appearing on the cliffs. Reigning bullets down upon us. One hit my shoulder. Grazing my armor. Unharmed.

Jack fired up at the sniper as they fell mere feet away from us. Bodies seemed to just keep falling as I avoided them and kept boosting him. He activated his visor and fired wildly. Bodies littered the ground.

" Reinhardt push for the flyer. Get out of there. We almost have it but get out before more come. "

He grunted in agreement. Lucio followed. I hung back with Genji and jack.

" I'm coming down the cliff" said Ana.

The area seemed cleared. But Torbjorn's turret suggested otherwise.

Jack took a bullet to the calf. I quickly healed it as best as I could. He nodded at me.

Genji deflected some stray bullets. We pushed the remaining agents away from the base area. Ana darting down the cliffs. Firing healing and sniper rounds.

As we pushed I darted from team mate to team mate healing and boosting. Trying to keep them safe. But my wings were getting worse. I could tell bullets were trying to destroy them. I guess better the wings than me.

" we need to get in and out" said 76.

" at this point I think it would be unwise to try and attempt the documents they may or may not have. It would put everyone at risk" said Winston.

" we can do it" said 76. I wasn't quite sure what they were talking about. But with the path clear to flyer I really didn't understand. Unless he meant back at the base.

Ana had crept back to the flyer and Reinhardt was already inside.

" I'm going to try" said 76.

" don't attempt too. We didn't fully clear out the caves" said Winston.

" peh my turret was destroyed. " shouted Torbjorn. Collecting the fallen pieces and heading back

" Winston we came here for a reason. " said 76 angrily.

Everyone was already back inside for the most part. I started to look at Jesse's wound. It had healed fairly clean. Lena was stroking his hair.

" 76 don't. " said Ana.

But he was rushing back. This wasn't like him at all. He would never disobey orders. And certainly not attempt something like this without back up.

" did he just leave ?" Asked Winston. I looked behind me.

" did he just go alone? " I asked softly.

Ana held up a hand.

" well. We aren't just going to let him go alone. " I said.

" love it's his own decision " said Lena.

I snarled running for the door after him. He wasn't going to go alone.

" Angela!" Called out Ana.

I kept running. I spotted him dashing.

And I honed in on him. My wings didn't quite get me there. But I was a few feet away. A sniper was taking aim.

" 76 above you " I hissed into my comm. he fired shooting them. Then he growled at me. " what are you doing here ?!"

" you couldn't go alone. It's suicide" I said. My voice shaking slightly, but i steadied it, this wasn't the time for fear.

" you will only get in the way" he said firing another round. We crept into the base. And he started looking around.

I followed closely behind him.

He yanked his comm off.

" why did you follow me?" He hissed again.

" I couldn't let you go alone" I said softly. He located an old computer system and broke it apart looking for the hard drive. He would glance up frequently looking around. I had my back to him and was standing watch. Soft footsteps carefully echoed.

I got my pistol ready.

"I could have done this alone. "

" mercy I demand you come back at once. Report your status. " said Winston into my ear. I yanked out my comm and crushed it.

" no. You wanted to do this alone it's different. You are going to get yourself killed doing this. I thought you knew better " I scolded. He grunted and pulled out the hard drive.

" maybe I don't care enough to know better. I just needed this. Or to destroy this" he said. Giving the hard drive a final yank out of the system.

" look out. " I yelled. I raised my pistol and fired at the shooter approaching us. He didn't move. Jack didn't move. The sniper was aiming right for him. He only missed because my shot startled him.

Why. Wasn't. He. Shooting.

My mind raced and I bolted charging my body weight into his. I felt a shot go into my shoulder. Sharp pain entered my body. His body snapped into action. Firing at the shooter who took aim and fired another one into me. I let myself be a shield. I just didn't care. As long as he got out. Copper taste filled my mouth. The shooter fell.

" WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" He yelled in my face. I shook and gasped.

He stored the hard drive into his bag and lifted me up in his arms.

I shouldn't be able to die like this. My studies had shown that I couldn't. I shouldn't. But I saw my blood leaving a trail as he carried me sprinting. I was clutching my pistol as I noticed another shooter on the cliff. They fired into us. Right into my arm. I gasped.

" fuck. Fuck" screamed jack. I used my good arm to return fire as best as I could. Apparently my aim wasn't terrible.

" why why did you have to be so stupid. " he said. I felt his mask press into my head as he ran faster. I felt blood drip down my chin. Why am I not healing.

The flyer was in view and Ana jumped out shooting at the straggler shooters.

We got into the flyer and he placed me carefully onto the couch. I could hear Winston yelling. And everyone else. But my vision was fuzzy. Ana rushed over and the flyer took off.

I felt my armor getting removed.

" shit shit" said 76's voice.

" what's...What damage?" I whispered.

" back left shoulder gunshot. Wait. " I felt Ana wiping my shoulder. " two. Two gunshot wounds upper left shoulder. And left arm gunshot. But the bullet just grazed it. "

She began wiping away the blood.

" I need my suit" I said a slight gurgle was in my voice.

" what ?" Asked Ana.

I tried to sit up. " I need my suit. " I repeated.

"Okay?" Said Ana she placed my suit over me. And I drifted off for a bit. He was okay. I would be okay. It's all okay.

I woke up shivering. With my head in Ana's lap. She was stroking my hair. And applying pressure to my shoulder wounds.

I used my right arm to sit myself up.

" rest my dear. " said Ana softly.

" I'm fine " i said with a smile. Reaching for a bandage and I spit out a large chunk of blood.

" I patched you up as best as I could. But it seems to me like you are healing at a rapid rate. Have you done something new to your suit?" Asked Ana.

" or something" i said collecting my thoughts. Jacks head turned toward me. Apparently his argument didn't last long. My body ached but the wounds didn't hurt anymore. Luckily Ana had them patched. Because I swear they were probably just scars. I heard the flyer starting to land. And I felt slightly naked. Apparently she had to take off my shirt and my suit to patch things up. Lucky for me I always wore a sports bra type on missions.

Reinhardt came over and picked me up. His metal armor was so cold against my skin. " to zee medic bay with you " he said.

" i'm fine really" I said.

" ha! You took three bullets"

" Jesse took more!" I argued.

" you healed me in time. " he said with a grunt.

I sighed. " I'll need to attend to you as well" I said.

" ha " he said. Reinhardt laid me down in the medical bay.

" I'm fine really. I can attend to myself. But I'll need Jesse in here in a bit."

" doctor I insist you rest" said Winston. He looked exhausted. But was gripping the hard drive that jack had procured.

" I'm fine. Now please leave" I grunted.

As they left the room. I carefully peeled off the bandages. Just light scars remained. Soon those would be gone. It works. It works better than I ever suspected. The nanobots could always heal well but this. This was unexpectedly fast and efficient. I hopped up and went to find Jesse. He was just sitting outside.

" Lena insisted I get patched up. " he said. Lena hugged me gently.

" I'm so glad you are okay love. You should've heard the group"

" Lena I love you but I'm tired. I just want to check his wounds and get some sleep" I said sighing softly.

Jesse followed me into the room. I checked his vitals and inspected his wounds. I cleaned up the injuries and scanned him for any internal wounds.

" how's it look doc?" He asked.

" you will be fine" I said with a smile.

" thanks doc, now rest up. I'm sure Winston will want words with the two of you" said Jesse with a sad face.

" thanks. " I said leaving the room. I went to my office to inject myself and then headed to bed. I felt so emotionally drained from the entire day. Why would he do that. Why would he... and I felt myself drift into sleep.

I felt the world go dark. Jacks face was being burned off. And blood was pouring out all around him. A scream couldn't even burst through my throat as I witnessed it. It felt tight and closed. Capturing the noise within and rattling my chest.

I woke up mid scream. But I heard the sounds of thrashing in the room near mine.

Jack...

I raced outside to his room. His door firmly locked. More thrashing.

I knew I shouldn't do this but since he was on my medical and psych watch. Unbeknownst to him, I raced and grabbed my key codes.

It was dark and I couldn't see anything. Until I felt cold metal on my neck

" state your name soldier" came his rough voice. I could feel a sting in my neck

" it's Angela "

" state your business soldier" I could feel his heartbeat through the blade.

" jack. It's me it's Angela"

A hand gripped my neck. The blade dropping

" state. Your. Name. Soldier" he spoke again.

Fear flooded through me. He wouldn't hurt me, I need to de escalate this.

His grip tightened

" jack. It's me. It's Angela. It's Angela " I gasped out. My throat getting tighter. I felt my body get pushed to the floor.

" jack. Please. It's me Angela. You are safe please jack". I gasped out. His grip loosened.

I felt him shaking ontop of me then curl up.

" jack. You are safe. You are in your room at the base. I need your confirmation that you understand me"

I gently felt around for him. My hand carefully found his.

" jack. Please"

I could hear his breathing still shake.

" I hurt you "

" no you didn't. Not intentionally, jack. Tell me what happened. Or list a few things you have in your mind. The feeling of the floor. The scent in the air. "

He sighed heavily. I sat up in the darkness. One hand slowly rubbing his hand. I placed the other on his heart.

" I smell sugar"

" that's very good, what do you feel?"

He sighed again. I could hear his breathing stabilize.

" your hand. "

" describe it"

" soft".

"And?"

"Cold"

I smiled. He would always say that to me about my frozen hands. Focus Angela. Stop thinking about his arms.

" very good, how do you feel?"

" lost"

" you aren't lost , you are here in your room with me. "

He sighed. His breathing quickened for a moment.

" I feel lost ange"

" that's okay, that's normal. It's very dark. You had a nightmare" I felt his hand squeeze mine.

" I'm so sorry"

" jack, it's alright. I know it wasn't intentional"

I could feel him switch to a seat position. I scooted a little closer and linked my arm into his gently.

" is this okay?" I asked softly.

I felt his head lean onto my shoulder. He shook a little bit

" Angel. I'm so sorry".

Angel... I hadn't heard that from his voice in years. A lump formed in my throat and I had to fight back tears.

" shhh. Don't be. I'm okay. You are okay. "

" but I'm not. I hurt you. I hurt you".

" jack... you are hurting, you didn't know, it was dark and your instincts set in" I ran my fingers through his hair. And gently kissed his head.

He slumped against the wall. " I thought I lost you today"

" shhh it's okay. Jack. You don't feel well. The mind needs a break"

" angel. You don't understand. I cannot lose you".

Now I really had to focus on controlling my emotions. Audibly at least. I just kept slowly stroking his hair and his forehead pressed into my chin.

" you had a nightmare jack. That's all. We have both seen some horrible things out there. I imagine you more than me. It's okay, and you are safe" I carefully reassured. I wanted to so much hear him go on about me, but his mental state mattered more. Without that then we couldn't move forward. This was the biggest breakthrough so far, I couldn't risk it for my own needs.

" jack you should really get some rest now. " I keep stating his name to make sure he knows who he is. That I am addressing him and so it provides a sense of direct calm.

" can you stay?"

" whatever you need" I said trying even harder not to make a sound indicating how hard this was for me.

" you should probably lock that stuff up" he said I could detect a hint of embarrassment in his voice, but I was proud of him for knowing that it's safer that way. I carefully removed myself from his side and locked away his pulse rifle in the locker. And I slid the knife under the bed. Just in case. I could hear him ease into the bed. And I walked over and sat on the edge I could feel his body curl into my back.

As I sat up I tried to not feel sorry for myself. I had a wonderful kid. A great 'family'. Do not try anything.

" Angela?"

" yes jack?"

He reached up and stroked my cheek.

He slowly sat up " when I said join me I didn't mean for you to just sit up while I get sleep"

I smiled, he couldn't see it but his hand could feel it.

" okay" I laid down on my back and I felt him lay down next to me turning to face me. Still carefully stroking my cheek.

I softly sighed. I knew he found the tears because he gently wiped them away.

" I didn't mean to make you cry" I could feel his heart rate increasing.

I rolled over facing him in the dark. My hand pulled his away from my face. Lacing my fingers through his.

" I'm happy, I'm not sad". It was a half lie. This is all I wanted to just curl up with him. To feel his hands again.

But my heart was aching for him, I didn't want to compromise everything he accomplished in this evening.

" is this okay for you?" He gently placed an arm on my side gently pulling my face into his neck. His chin resting on my head.

Keep it together, I coached myself. Keep it together.

" it's perfect " I said softly. I slowly felt him drift off into a sleep. Sleeping wouldn't come to me as easily. I had my own nightmares and I wanted to avoid distressing him or causing any change in the bed.

I could hear him softly muttering. And lightly kicking. During those moments I would gently stroke his hair and whisper that I was here, he was okay. He would lightly sigh and hour by hour he crept more and more onto me. When I glanced at the clock I knew he would be getting up soon. And I didn't want him startled or upset. But there was no way I could slip out without him noticing , oh shit. Or the team.

His head was on my shoulder. His warm breath on my neck, his heart rate was normal, his feet curled with mine. Arm over me holding onto my waist.

I missed this. I missed this so much. I tried to calm my breathing so I didn't cry. I gently stroked his hair, a little more force with each rub, gently trying to orient him into waking up in.

With no actual windows in the room it would be hard to get out without him know as well.

He gently stirred. Initially startled he seized up a little.

" it's just me jack. It's just Angela" his tense muscles loosened.

He sort of snuggled his face into my neck and a warm tingling feeling rushed over my body.

" how do you always smell like sugar?" He asked softly. I felt his lips slowly kiss my neck. Try to focus. Try to focus. Cannot focus. He made his way to my cheekbone.

" jack" I said softly.

He kissed my cheek and nudged me with his nose.

" I don't want you to see me like this" he said reaching for his mask.

It's not like I hadn't seen scaring before. I repaired Genji from practically nothing. But I wouldn't push , this wasn't the time and he already had made some breakthroughs.

" alright I'll be heading to my room " I replied. I kissed his forehead. And headed to the door. I listened so see if anyone was awake. It wouldn't be so startling to see me leaving a patients room In the morning. But I was just wearing one of his old band shirts. So I would be pantsless leaving a patients room. At least I had on my boy short cut underwear. They were more comfortable.

It sounded like no one was outside. I could feel the soft red glow on my back as I cracked open the door checking.

" hey ange. That's my shirt " he said gruffly.

" oh. Hey jack. It's mine now" I said with a grin, on that note I dashed out the door and scurried back to my room.

I cannot push my own feelings onto him. I cannot hope for the same jack , the same relationship. All I can do is focus on his well being. If anything changes or if he wants to carry on then that is our choice together. But everything hurt so bad. I wanted to leap into his arms and kiss him. I wanted to be able to curl up and just sit. I just wanted him. So bad.

I dried off and got dressed. Sliding into a purple dress this time. Leggings and my favorite boots. I pulled my hair into a messy bun because as far as I knew nothing was planned for today. No attacks no upcoming plans.

 **A/N: There it is! i hope this one was good, i know it was long but i felt the need to make it long and have a decent pay off... i wrote this chapter before the past few, so i'm sorry it took a bit to lead into it, but i'm fairly happy with it, and i hope all of you who are still reading this enjoyed! The next few continue in this trend! once again, any advice or reviews are massively appreciated.**

 **Also! i must add...wow! thank you so much for all of your reviews! like... i have been having a rough time lately, and the reviews are so wonderful. i write this as a form of therapy, so i'm insanely thankful. Thank you so much.**


	24. Chapter 24

I walked out to the cafe area and smiled Lena and Jesse were stealing each other's food. Why they didn't eat their own was beyond me. But whatever. They were in love and open with showing it. I won't deny I'm jealous. But jacks progress had me in a pleasant state.

" love did you have nightmares again last night? I heard you messing around " Lena looked at me with concern.

" ah. Yes. I'm fine now, just a dream"

" you know love, maybe it's time you moved on. I see you and 76 are getting along better"

Ana looked up from her tea and raised an eyebrow suspiciously.

" ah. Hem. Well" I scratched the back of my neck and started getting myself a cup.

" I mean. I say go for it. You could use a good lay, maybe bring a smile to your face again "

I blushed hard. And heard jack clearing his throat.

Lena turned red. " whoops! On that note! " she threw a piece of bacon at Jesse and dashed off. He sighed and went " jobs never done" while chasing after her.

Ana slightly chuckled. And looked back down at her tea. I knew she knew who he was. Obviously. She brought him on board. Which I am forever grateful for.

" that child, always saying everything that pops into her head" she chided.

I sipped my coffee and nodding. Trying to hide my blushing intensity from jack. Who just grabbed coffee and toast and left for his room.

I sighed. Easing into the chair and looking at Ana with a quizzical expression.

" well. It is good to see improvement from yesterday, you don't look as sore as I would have thought you would have been" she stated. Eyeing me.

It's true. The wounds to my back had healed almost immediately. It must be the tech I've been trying on myself.

" my dear you don't have to carry him alone. He's a grown man, we've all been through our share. What you did yesterday was foolish but commendable. "

I sighed loudly. I didn't want to talk about it. Yes. I had been shot. Numerous times. Yes I was stable. No I didn't want to talk about why or what I did in the privacy of my lab and my years away from overwatch. I used my body to save lives. That's all that mattered. I helped jack we worked as a team. And I didn't want to remember what happened yesterday. At all.

" Ana, you know I love you but I have my own stuff to carry. I know what I'm doing I'm not the young doctor fresh from the hospital. I'm not going anymore and I would appreciate being treated as such"

" my dear, do not take it as I was condescending to you, I was only reminding you that you matter too. Our team would be dead without you. Don't be foolish ".

I never got mad at her before but this was annoying me.

" Ana. I love you, please stop. " I grabbed my cup and walked away to my office. I had some basic notes to run over about my self healing. Then it hit me. I had been working on this for years. Years of building up everything to self heal better and more stronger. If I could survive bullet wounds what else could I stand up too. Part of me wanted to try breaking something but I couldn't quite figure out how I would without the rest of the groups knowledge. Plus once I healed quickly I wouldn't want to explain the self checking and medicating I had been doing. Pacing quietly I snuck outside for a quick smoke. Nothing affected me. Alcohol did. But only in large amounts and the effects didn't last long. I shouldn't be smoking. But what if I designed something less dangerous for those addicted. No this is stupid. Ugh. I flicked some ash. Yesterday was rough. But I think it was a good breakthrough. Keep telling yourself that. Just keep telling yourself that. He had been spiraling and I think it's now only going to go up. The fact stands. I talked him down. Destroyed my communicator. And disobeyed orders. I'm lucky that Winston just sighed in an understanding way. Lena was making jokes and nobody cared. Or knew what I knew was going on with him. He just seemed like a rambunctious stubborn vigilante. Except to Ana. Who also knew. I know she bears the weight of PTSD too. But she has to understand he comes from a different track. He went from golden to outlaw.

I exhaled a large cloud of smoke.

I heard familiar footsteps coming towards me, i looked up at Genji.

He sat down next to me and gently stroked my back.

"i'm worried about you..." he said after a few moments of silence.

"why?" i asked knowing the answer...

" i remained quiet for too long, all those years living with me on and off, you crying yourself to sleep and drinking away what you held in, then crying randomly. What is going on?"

I exhaled and for the first time i didn't want to cry...

" it's just, it's been hard. And i know it's been hard on everyone and for you. But i feel like since you left us early you never saw the ending of overwatch...just the beginning... and i just drink to deal with things, i cry because i don't know what else to do. i have almost zero handle on my emotions anymore and i'm trying so hard. I realized years ago i couldn't save everyone and i think it's wearing me down" i admitted it. i finally admitted it. He reached over and stroked my hair, rested my head on his shoulder. Many nights would be spent this way in the years i lived with him. But i never really talked, i never wanted to bother him or admit that i was slightly annoyed at him leaving.

"i'm sorry, i never thought about it that way. Zenyatta cleared my head and restored peace naturally, family is tough,i know you never really had a chance to have a family, and i suppose this is why you have no emotional control... "

"probably" i said with frustration, he was right... and it was right in front of me, i had abandonment issues.

"which is probably why you didn't want to join overwatch, besides a few obvious reasons, if you just treated people and sent them on their way in disaster zones, you would never have to grow close to anyone"

Shit. Shit. Was he right? i lit another one, and stared at the sky, his shoulder wasn't cold, it was warming to my body temperature.

" i'm sorry if i am speaking out of tern, it's just, we are all pretty worried... i figured i have known you for the years apart from overwatch, just remember, you are one of the smartest people i know, you rebuilt me after-all... don't let the past try to take you back" he said softly, he stroked my hair gently.

"thank you" i said, for the first time feeling the bubble of sadness leave. If i just focus on the present i won't be constantly haunted by the past. We heard soft footsteps in the distance and i sat back up. Jack was approaching and Genji gently patted my hand.

"i'll always be around if you want to talk or something" he said as he left.

Jack walked up to me.

" hey" he gruffly said.

" hello." he is different, this is fine.

" you know those things are bad for you"

I smiled. Blowing out some smoke and looking at his visor.

" it's an experiment. " I stated with slight uncertainty. I could hide stuff from him well. Lena was always thinking a mile a minute and didn't process a lot of things. But jack knew tone.

" okay" he said sitting next to me staring out at the track.

" did you run already?" I asked

" yeah, no elevated heart rate though. Just normal"

I nodded. That's how he's been lately I guess the old serum was good for something.

" I'm glad your keeping track of it" I said blowing out some more smoke.

It swirled through the air and I was relaxing. Just having him near me was comforting.

"'Ange I wanted to " he started to say.

" don't. " I said briskly. I didn't want to talk about yesterday again I didn't want him to apologize. He didn't know what he was doing.

" I need to say something if you will let me finish?"

He reached over and gently held my hand for a moment. His gloved hand carefully rubbing mine.

" you know me. Well you knew me. I'm different now "

" and I am too. Where is this going ?"

Ugh I was blunt.

" I care about you. More than I've cared about anyone in my life, and I need you to be honest with me" he said.

My heart skipped a beat. Me. Be honest with him ? Him who left me for years believing he was dead. He wants me to be honest with him? I am nothing but honest.

" that's all. " he said lacing his fingers into mine and leaning back against the wall. I wanted to hold him. But this would work for now. I noticed he was shaking slightly. I wanted to tell him of John but not yet. He's not ready. It's not a lie really. Is it?

I flicked the cigarette watching the ember disappear. We heard doors opening and he squeezed my hand and let it go. Quickly standing up and walking away to do. Whatever he does.

I was alone. But not exactly. I didn't know how exactly to accept the fact that he was being more open with me. It was like starting over, and while I loved the idea of it and I completely understand it. I still felt sad that it just couldn't pick up where it was left off. But he had been through so much. So I couldn't allow the selfishness to set in. Firstly I am a doctor, I have seen ptsd hundreds of times before and I was lucky a the progress he was making, but if I'm honest with myself I miss him. This new version of him is new and I must move on and accept that he is the same in many ways but in other ways I would need to be careful. That's fine. It will always be fine. I'm still completely in love with him.

Later in the day Winston called us into his office.

" I wanted to discuss what happened yesterday" he said. He fidgeted with his glasses.

My eyes stared straight at the table.

" I'm disappointed in the way things were handled. But the hard drive recovered was very valuable. But still doesn't excuse the behavior displayed "

" did it contain what we suspected?" Asked jack.

Winston pulled up some documents. Documents detailing Amelie , Gerard and the fall of overwatch.

" it turns out we found out exactly what they did to Amelie. The serum they used to do the mind control that turned her into her new identity as the widow maker. "

I sighed. Amelie was always so sweet. A little rough on the edges but so wonderfully in love with Gerard. I knew her briefly it felt. But we always wondered exactly what they used on her.

" doctor I will be sending these notes to you to inspect on the exact methods of injections and what was inside of it. "

" so you think there could be a cure for her?" I asked my voice slightly shaking.

" it's possible. I doubt after all these years of complete brainwashing. " said Winston.

Great. There would have been a chance but that chance was gone.

" I will however advise that you both might have to sit back on the next mission. "

" do you really think that would be wise?" Asked jack.

" honestly I'll need to evaluate you further it seems. You showed a lack of regard for orders. You" he paused and wiped his eyes. " you remind me of someone and that is what is causing me to rethink this decision"

Jack was silent, how bad would it be if Winston knew? I think it would help the situation. But who was I to know?

" alright soldier you are dismissed. I need to talk to Angela about something. " said Winston.

Jack stood up and walked out. As the door shut Winston's face was completely filled with sorrow.

" I know you are a doctor and your patients come first. But please be careful out there. The team. I... cannot afford to lose you. " he said.

I patted his large hand.

" I know. I know. I was foolish. But without me"

" anyways. There's a problem. " said Winston. Pulling up some files.

Photos of me running around during my off overwatch years. It was as I had feared. I had been followed.

" Angela. I think it might be more then this. They followed pharah a bit too, I don't need to explain that further to you. I will inform Ana to move her once more. But your child..." he paused and wiped tears back.

" Angela. I cannot guarantee both of their safety. And I don't know what to do. This is all out of my control at this point. So I will try to talk to Ana about this and what strategy she finds best " he said.

My heart was beating so fast. I felt my chest hurt.

" would you like to be in these meetings or?"

No. And yes. I didn't need a lecture. I just needed him safe.

" I. I want to be informed. But you may talk to Ana first. " I said.

" alright. That is all for now, but if I may ask. How are you doing?"

" I'm fine. Everything healed well" I said. Getting up and leaving. My head was dizzy. I almost bumped into Ana. I apologized and walked past her. I needed to tell him. I had to tell him.

I saw him out of the corner of my eye. Oh no no I can't tell him. Not yet. Not now. He was pacing slightly.

I looked at him sadly and went to my office to look into widowmaker. After a few hours I emerged. My brain was frazzled and I needed something other than a protein bar. Which ironically is what I grabbed. Until Lena knocked it out of my hand. " eat an actual meal. " she said, throwing half her toast at me. I caught it and frowned. Slowly munching on it.

I spotted jack out of the corner of my eye.

I walked up to him.

" you okay?" I asked

" no. But I will be. I wanted to ask you something. " he said.

" walk with me to my office. " I said. He followed. And we went in. I closed the door.

" Angela. I need help" he said softly.

I let out a sigh.

" really?"

" I'm sorry. I. I can't let myself hurt you. And I can try to let you help me" he said.

" okay? What are we talking about here?" My heart was racing.

" I'm willing to try medication. I figure this small break will allow me to be okay with trying something"

I smiled.

" are you serious?" I said trying to hide my smile from getting larger.

" don't make me regret this" he said.

" of course not. Of course not. " I said

" God Angela. I keep seeing it over and over again and I can't stop it. And I don't want you to get hurt by me. " his breathing was getting raspier.

" hey. Hey. " I carefully placed a hand on his shoulder. And walked him to a chair. I knelt on the floor as he sat in the chair. I carefully touched his gloved hand.

" what's going on in there?" I asked. Trying to make eye contact with him.

" everything. Everything. I keep seeing it over and over"

" what. What do you keep seeing ?"

" Angela. I'm a failure. I failed you. I failed everything I failed overwatch" he said gasping.

My heart was breaking for him.

" you didn't. You failed no one. They needed a person to blame. Why not blame the poster boy. " I stroked his hand gently. I didn't even know if he could feel it.

" alright I'm going to inject your first dose okay? It will help calm you so you can sleep for once" I said standing up and looking around through my

Medications. A mild anti anxiety medication. Mixed with an anti depressant. Things i should probably be taking as well.

I carefully measured out the correct dosage.

" okay. I need you to take off your jacket please" I said.

He flinched as he removed it.

" if it doesn't help we can either up it or try something else. But this will help stop the obsessive thoughts " I said softly.

I pushed up his sleeve. My hand lingering on his skin. Scars marked the areas like a map of destruction. I carefully injected him. He flinched slightly.

" I feel so weak for doing this" he said

" you are strong for admitting you needed it. " I said sternly.

" now you will probably feel tired. So you should get some rest, it can wear off after a little bit. But since it was injected it will hit you at once. "

He nodded

" thank you"

" I can check on you if you want. Or if you need anything I'll be in my room. " I said. We both got up and started walking towards our rooms.

" oh and if you need to talk. Because you will. This won't just go away, you know I will listen"

My eyes felt glassy as I looked him.

" thank you" he said. Opening his door and going inside. I laid awake in bed. Hoping that he would be able to

Sleep. I curled my legs into his old shirt I was wearing. I loved him and I couldn't stop how I was feeling. I felt like the young girl that fell in love with him all over again. The butterflies in my chest. But the biggest thing was he asked for help. He wanted help. What a change that happened. Maybe he just needed a push. I sighed. My mind still spinning from all that had happened. And now I needed to talk to Ana tomorrow. Or whenever Winston saw fit. Guilt swirled. I would tell him soon. He would be ready soon. I tossed and turned. When I heard the smallest knock on my door. Probably Lena heard me rolling around. Wait no. Her room was too far. It could be Genji maybe.

I softly walked to the door.

Jack was standing there.

" uh... " I said as he quickly entered the room.

" you said if I needed to talk" he said. I closed the door and smiled at him. The only light coming from the thin lights on the panels. They were dimmed and you couldn't see too well.

My heart was pounding.

" of course" I said. Sitting on the edge of my bed. He could take the seat or join me.

He sat next to me. His hands holding mine.

"I'm not the same person " he said gruffly

" neither am I" I said. One of his hands ended up stroking my cheek. I leaned my face into it.

I pulled him closer to me. Resting his masked face onto my chest and carefully rubbing his back. His t shirt was so soft and so was his hair. I felt him remove his mask. I couldn't see him at all but it was a start.

I could feel his body relaxing and his dead weight knocked me back. He yawned and curled around me. His face nestled into my neck.

My heart racing. Everything that had happened in the past 48 hours had happened so fast. I don't want to startle him. I just want him to realize that he is okay now.

His leg lightly kicked mine, his lips brushed against my neck as he pulled me closer. I just want him to be okay. Healing wounds was no big deal but the mind is another thing. This would take time. This was a start and I'm sounding like a broken record.

Finally I drifted into sleep, feeling secure in his arms. My dreams were full of death. I killed someone. It wasn't my first time. But every time it got worse. The guilt swarmed in me. I had to do it. I had too. They were people just like me. I woke up crying softly and jack pressed his lips on my cheek.

" angel, angel. Shhhhh" he comforted. I snuggled into him. As he held me tighter.

" you are okay shhhh" he said softly. His voice sounded strained. Being with him was comforting but I couldn't help but wonder if it was just for comfort instead of something else.

" I hate killing. " I softly said through tears.

" I know ange. And it's my fault. It's all my fault " his body shook against mine.

" no I did it of my own accord. You didn't do anything"

" exactly. I didn't do anything but put you in danger"

" jack. I made my choice to follow".

" you had no choice ange, it's who you are. If it was anyone else you wouldn't have followed. "

He was right. But it didn't make it any easier. I rest my forehead against his. Our noses touching, lips so close to mine. It was so dark I couldn't read his face but I felt his eyelashes brush my cheeks. He inhaled sharply and pressed his lips to mine, they felt different, a deep scar ran across them. But I got lost in the sweetest of his mouth. His tongue carefully caressing mine. His arms pulling me into him. A soft moan escaped my mouth and he pulled his face away kissing my cheek gently kissing away the tears that were falling. A fire burned deep within me.

" jack I-I"

" shh. " he said. His voice sounded wounded almost.

I kissed his cheek and he sighed.

His hand carefully held mine. Slowly rubbing it with his thumb.

"You are alive and that's truly all that matters to me" I said.

" I should have died that day"

"Don't say that "

" Angela. Are you not understanding that I failed everyone. I caused this to happen?!" He sat up, i sat up as well, and gently touched his hand.

" you failed no one. Humanity failed us. " I said it was true. They needed someone to blame.

" I failed you" he said. " I. I saw you and I did nothing to help you"

" what do you mean?"

" forget it "

" jack. What do you mean?" I pushed.

" I said forget it!" His voice was sharper. And he pulled away. I sat there in the darkness feeling him reaching for his mask.

" jack stop. Jack listen to me please"

" what can you say to make it better?!"

" nothing. But nothing will make it better. It happened. Everything happened. But you are here now, and for once I don't feel empty"

I felt every moment of stability in the past few days slipping away.

" you want the idea of me. Not me. " he said.

" that's not true. That's not true at all and you know it. You are being stubborn, you feel like a failure. Fine. But you weren't. You never were. We all trusted that things would work out. But they didn't believe me I know. I was there, you keep trying to think this was all on you. We all did nothing while you fought so hard to keep it alive. " my voice was stronger than i expected. Carefully reaching out for his back. He twitched and moved towards me. Grabbing my back in a smooth motion and pushing me back down onto the bed. His body on top of mine. I was shaking so hard. Out of wanting him and wanting him to be okay.

" why do you never see the bad in me?" He said.

" because. Because I still-"

His hand covered my mouth and I kissed it. I could feel the slight shake in his hands.

" I'm not who you think I was. Please stop putting me on this pedestal. "

I tried to speak but it was muffled under his hand. He kissed my forehead and rolled off of me and onto his side. My heart was racing.

" I just want you to know that I am here for you. Okay?" I said softly now that his hand was off my mouth.

He sighed. His body turned towards me. I curled myself into the little spoon against him. And I felt his hands slide under my shirt and rest on my waist. It was comforting having his hand rest on my stomach. We both relaxed and drifted back into sleep.

In all these years besides Lena. I was without physical contact , I'm not sure about him. But I desperately needed this closeness. I woke to him softly growling and dragging his nails across my stomach.

" jack" I whispered and he got startled pulling away.

I glanced at the clock. People would be getting up soon. But I didn't want to leave or move. It's not like I had anywhere to be exactly. Except eventually meeting with Ana. Guilt started to gnaw at me, as I felt his lips touch the nape of my neck. His other hand returned to my stomach pulling me closer to him. His breath was warm and causing my hairs to stand on end as he gently kissed under my ear. I turned my head to him and fell into a long kiss. I gently turned my body into his deepening our kisses. A soft moan escaped from my mouth as he carefully pulled away kissing the tip of my nose.

" what time is it?" He asked

" a bit past eight " I said.

" shit"

" I know. " I stretched into him twisting around like a cat.

He softly chuckled " you still do that?"

I could feel him reaching for his mask so I quickly leaned over him and kissed him again. He jumped back a little in shock then moved back and kissed me back.

"Ange. I need to go" he said in between kisses.

" I know" I whispered back.

He slid on his mask. And walked to the door.

" come see me later, I need to give you another dose"

" alright" as he dashed back to his room.

I sighed rolling back around in bed. His warmth still there and the amazing scent of him was back. He was back.

But I'm being delusional, there's more to discuss there's more to be done, and I really needed to tell him " oh hey we have a kid who is possibly in danger while I lay around trying to sleep with you". Ugh. No matter the wording nothing made me sound like the good person. I just. I didn't know how to approach him on this matter.

 **A/N: is this okay? i hope so... i tried to handle the PTSD moments with how i behave sometimes. Any comments or criticism is totally appreciated and welcome here! There's still going to be obviously their issues here and there, but i'm working on them working together**

 **Thank you again for reading! And massive shout outs to :** **destielonmydashboard! your comments make me smile so much! Sword Theory, goodness your comment brightened my day! and PsYchRoxx , your advice really helped me rework the next few chapters! and** **GOWBairdSam, you are a wonderful wonderful person who is super encouraging and kind!**


	25. Chapter 25

The following day was full of working on various devices. My heart swelled with the thoughts of progress jack had already made. But I kept feeling horrible about our son. He didn't know. And I didn't feel like he should know yet despite how many years.

It's not lying if you are trying to wait for the right moment.

I sighed and fiddled with my medication. I could up the dosage. I could try to make it work better.

I carefully lined up the needle and injected myself. The familiar buzz coursed through me. The slight taste of saline. A knock came to the door and I pulled out the syringe and sighed, disposing of the needle.

" come in" I said cheerfully. Jack walked in.

" hello" I said softly. He closed the door behind him.

" I just wanted to see you" he said.

I smiled and blushed slightly. It almost felt as though no time had passed. He sat down in the chair.

" well I am glad you came by, I wanted to make sure if the medication is helping so far"

" I think so, my thoughts aren't racing as much" he said, I could detect a bit of happiness in his voice.

" and your run?"

" went well. Lena joined me for a bit. Seems like you two got really close for awhile there"

" ha. Yeah. She would often sleep with me after everything " I softly said.

" that's none of my business what you did"

" oh not like that. We just co-slept a lot. Especially after Jesse left, we both had trouble sleeping alone. And we watched everything you hated" a grin filled my face.

" Angela, I'm serious though. What you did in those years is none of my business" his voice sounded sad.

" I did nothing honestly. Just moved around a lot, met Lucio and spent some time with him and his girlfriend... but that was about as wild as I went. I had to have a period of happiness in a way. " my smile was fading.

" you always were a good dancer" he remarked.

I laughed slightly. Memories of the golden ages of overwatch seeped into my memory. The formal parties and events. I tried so hard to just belong. Reyes and jack took me under their wings personally. Reyes had some good points but he was mostly abrasive and it was mostly my fault at how things went down. He might have liked me, but it might have been a thing for him to go behind jacks back and steal his interests. But God was he awful. He somehow found out about my dance history. Teased me so hard that a member of the UN heard and asked me to dance. I shot the angriest frown I could as I was dragged away from my corner of safety. Jack had at least shot me an apologetic face while Reyes was laughing.

At least we danced well together, but it caused unnecessary attention at my attempts to hide along the walls. He tried to get me to stick around for a second dance but I politely declined and spent the rest of the night trying to hide behind Jack. Which was also a bad idea since he was high profile among the crowds at these events. Reyes would eventually just start pointing me out to various gentlemen of various committees and they would follow me around as well, until finally Jack would say that i had something else to do. I would smile and mouth thank you as he waved me along out of the room. It got awkward once we started to secretly date, he would get jealous but realize there was nothing he could do publicly about it. But Reyes knew, and it ...

I shook my head slightly " I guess, I needed that though. I hadn't forgotten about you, I just needed something" I softly said.

He nodded. His shoulders fell a little.

" I don't mean that for you to sound guilty. I realized that while I can go from war zone to disaster zone. I still cannot do as much good as I did with overwatch. You were right all those years ago. " my voice slightly shook. His hand reached out to hold mine.

" it was hard for you to see then, but we all knew you had potential beyond what you were doing" came his voice. I smiled slightly.

" I'm so sorry I didn't believe you then" I said

" hey we were young! you hated war!It was basically everything you hated. I wouldn't have blamed you if you turned us down. However I wasn't going to let you. "

Now I did smile and looked up at him happily.

" yeah I'll give you that one thing you were right about"

I heard him grunt under his mask.

" what was that?" I asked looking at him.

" I may have overhead a bit of what you and Genji were talking about, I didn't mean too" he said.

" it's fine, I have no reason to hide how messed up I am currently, but I guess that is part of life. " I sighed slightly.

" it's so weird though. Because I've missed you so much. Not many people get chances like we do"

He nodded slightly.

" I mean. I know this is new and different and we are both different. But we are still apparently learning things... like.. ah.. teaching old dogs new tricks?"

" but you haven't aged a day, actually you look younger which is making me feel so much older" he admitted.

Ah. Shit.

" must be all my lab work, nanotechnology and all..." i was hoping my voice didn't give off any reasonable suspicion. It wasn't a lie. I just didn't want to go into the details, why? i'm not exactly sure, i could easily tell everyone that i'm working on new tech. It's the self testing that they would frown upon. Plus he was never one to understand what I was talking about, but would always listen. Then again his strategy methods never made much sense to me either, but we both learned along the way.

" now I have work on the widowmaker serum to work on, and I'm not exactly thrilled about it"

" yeah... that was a more shocking thing to find in the files. It was almost too easy which I will warn you about. Just please be sure to exercise caution when testing " he gruffly said.

I frowned slightly.

" I hadn't thought about that, but from what I see in the formula it's the basic mind altering chemicals with a twist. So,I honestly cannot detect anything false about it... but they could have left out a main fact" I clicked through the documents again. Chewing my lip in frustration. He could be right...

" you are gnawing your lip off again" said Jack with a slight laugh.

I blushed " heh. Old habits..."

" just don't chew it off... I should leave you to your work now" he sounded almost sad , but he was right about that. I should get back to my research.

" you would be correct unfortunately, not because i don't want to help people... it's just weird to work on" I said.

" well don't work too hard" he responded as he left.

I felt slightly empty but better. My whole outlook was changing. It still hurt but the pain wasn't controlling me as much as it has been. I clicked my pen a few times while reviewing the information again and drawing up some possible theories and reversal options. If I could figure out how to help Amelie. I feel it would help the others who had gone through the same thing.

After a few hours I walked over to the lab. Tying my hair up on the way. I was ready to start synthesizing the antidote. Lena appeared in the corner of my eye.

" hey love! I feel like I haven't seen you lately..." she said.

" hum. Yeah I've been a bit busy"

" well I hope it's with something good" she said lightly punching my arm.

" oh uh yeah" I replied a smile and blush creeping onto my cheeks.

" oh no way! " she said as her eyes got huge with excitement.

" oh Lena. Not like that I meant I've been doing good things. Like figuring out antidotes and stuff"

She rolled her eyes.

" only you would think that!"

" what?! These things are important"

" boooooring! Do something with me later please? Jesse is going to attempt cards with the new guy and I could really use some booze and horrible films" she pleaded.

" if I get this work done on time." I said, I was glad Jesse was taking a chance with jack. Well. 76

" alright I'll leave ya to it!" She said happily kissing my cheek and bouncing off.

It would be nice to just lay around with her. I finally felt in a better head-space, Genji's talk had really helped me realize what I was doing and I just wanted to make things better for myself and my family.

I entered the lab and set to work.

Hours were spent watching the machines spinning the chemicals into a combined formula. Trying it on my organic matter would be a different day , I needed to let it sit for at least a few more hours before it could even be used. However that would work out , because I didn't want to push the tests before talking to Winston about it. The rush of excitement of figuring this out was making me so happy.

I stepped out of the lab and saw jack headed for his room.

" hey! Can I bother you for a moment" I asked.

He stopped with his hand on the handle.

" alright" he responded.

I stood in front of him " I just need to give you your medication" I said quietly. He nodded.

" to my office?"

I said starting to walk in that direction. I heard his footsteps following me. We both entered and closed the doors. He sat in the chair taking off his jacket.

I mixed together the two medications into a syringe and injected him.

" I heard Jesse wants to play cards with you"

" yeah, I figured it's something social to do" he said.

" well that's good, Lena roped me into movies"

" thank god, better her than me" he said with a laugh.

It still sounded so weird hearing the laugh come from his mask.

" hey. I have good movies too, her and I just enjoy ridiculous things too" I tried to sound stern but my smile betrayed me.

" I should probably lie down for a few beforehand, this medication works but the tiredness..."

" is temporary " I stated, slightly shuffling my feet.

" you okay?"

" yeah just anxious about everything. Finished the serum but not sure if it will work"

" I'm sure it will"

" ehhhh I wouldn't be so confident about that one. It seems that a main control is missing...but" I noticed him slightly sway.

"We should get you to bed" I said. Linking arms with him and walking back into his room, he collapsed into his bed and motioned me to join.

" this is really. Making me more tired this time" he yawned, as I snuggled into his chest, his head resting on mine

" I'm sorry. I'll look into it" I whispered as I felt his breathing switch to sleeping.

We only rested for about fifteen minutes or less. I timed it. This worked a little different on him then the usual super soldiers.

He removed his mask and kissed my forehead, gently rubbing my shoulders.

" you will just get tired. Need a small nap and the effects will wear off almost immediately. A few more doses and you won't be tired anymore" I stated.

His room was dark, I really want to see his face but I had years of seeing it before. If he is uncomfortable with it then I will learn to adjust as best I can.

" ah. We should probably get moving" he said kissing the back of my neck.

My hair stood on end as his hands gripped my shoulders.

His lips touched behind my ear and I slightly shook in pleasure.

"We really should go" he said. I turned my face to his and kissed him.

" scheisse. Fine" I muttered swinging my feet onto the floor and sliding into my boots.

He gave me another kiss before I heard his mask click on. I walked out of the room first and he followed. Lena and Jesse were anxiously waiting. Lena had pulled out the couch and was lazing around on it flipping through the catalogue of films we had.

I jumped to join her and she rolled into me. Her spiky hair tickled my cheek. Jack took a seat with Jesse who was already dealing.

Torbjorn and Reinhardt looked up from their chess game in the corner.

" if yeh are going to pick somethin awful go to the room" said torbjorn to us.

" us?! Something terrible!? NEVER" joked Lena.

" I'll warn you soldier, these two are notorious for picking some of the worst kinds of films. " said Jesse taking a long puff.

" I'm sure I've seen worse " said jack with a slight laugh.

" wanna wager on that one?" Asked Jesse.

Lena giggled and pushed me slightly.

" we got a bet on our choices!" She giggled. I rubbed my hands together.

" how bad can we make this one?" Asked Lena.

" I refuse that wager... On account of conspiracy" said jack

" oy! We were merely discussing our choices of bad films. Maybe you have seen something worse?" She argued.

I laughed and smiled.

" troll? "

" don't do it" said Jesse.

" ah. Troll 2!" I shrieked. Flipping the remote.

" is that the one with the crazy lady eating corn?" Asked jack.

" no... no. There's no way you have seen this! I'm calling conspiracy " shouted Lena.

Jack shook his head " I just know bad movies because..." he stopped.

" yeah sure" said Lena. I nodded and rolled into her playfully. Genji walked over.

" mind if I join?" He asked.

We motioned for him to join and he laid on his belly on my side.

" screw it. We are watchin' grease" said Lena.

" oh no. " said Genji softly.

" if you sing like howling cats I'm leaving" said Jesse.

" we don't howl! We croon" argued Lena.

" plus you have never heard a more soulful version of ' greased lightening' than when Genji sings it" I said

Jesse and Lena looked over in shock.

" what? He's not bad" I said.

" it is not meant to sound soulful. He really wanted his dream car" said Genji matter of factly.

Lena turned it on, and Jesse and jack resumed playing cards,Glaring over whenever we got too loud.

" maybe we should take this into the bedroom" said Lena.

" it's true. You are howling " said Jesse.

Lena threw a cushion at him.

" easyyy" he said glaring at her as she stuck out her tongue.

Winston padded out.

" you can watch it in my room. I would enjoy the company, plus I cannot get sleep with all of you shouting " he added.

We picked up our cushions and followed him into his room. As he climbed into his rope swing just in time for greased lightening.

Lena passed out some beers and Genji even opened his mask to oblige us.

The rest of the movie was spent snuggling on our cushions and throwing pillows up at Winston. Sure we were a bit old for this kind of nonsense. But with what we do it's needed to have some silly stress free evenings. I hadn't felt this happy in years. I just wished I could bring up John. I hadn't seen Ana all day and I figure she is probably working on arrangements for him. Which makes me feel guilty. But I cannot really help, besides getting out of the way. I sighed and sipped my beer.

" love! no getting sad during the final songs " said Lena elbowing me.

We all howled along to " the one that I want" and rolled around drinking beers and giggling.

" ange you act like Sandy" giggled Lena." I mean look at her trying to be all tough and stuff"

" hush I am not"

" yes. I could agree with this statement" said Genji.

" Winston... you have to have my back on this" I pleaded.

" well... you do have a tendency to be ..."

" WINSTON!" I shouted. " don't make me cut peanut butter from your dietary chart.

He gasped " you wouldn't!"

" oh I would!" I said fake menacingly.

"Alright fine ange... you are tough, tough and strong" relented Lena.

" thank you, i am"

"actually, she is very strong! just the other day i saw her lifting a large box off the...oh you didn't mean it like that" said winston sheepishly laughing.

"thanks for letting us watch in your room" said Lena with a smile "never knew how big the screen could get in here!"

"well, it's helpful for when Athena and i play games" said Winston with a chuckle.

"well we should probably make sure the rest of the group isn't killing each other" said Lena stretching and gathering cushions. Genji and i hopped up and helped, thanking winston for allowing us to watch in his room.

We walked back out to the main area, Reinhardt was falling asleep at the chess set while Torbjorn was moving around his pieces.

Jesse grabbed us beers and we just laid there.

" whose winning this round?" Asked Lena.

" I am" said Jack flinging down a card. Jesse grumbled and bit down on his cigar.

I smiled at jack. And then flipped back to staring at the blank screen. Genji opened his mask again to drink. Sometimes it's so weird seeing his face again. Knowing that I reconstructed his body. His face had scarring, But it was mostly repaired. He had some of the kindest eyes and slightly winked at me as he tipped back a drink. I smiled back.

" I didn't mean to stare" I said softly.

" it is fine. I've accepted who I am now. And you did do wonderful work on me" he replied with a smile. I smiled back at him. Sometimes I don't give him enough credit and I don't know if it was my own guilt holding me back from becoming closer to him during the years we lived together. He was always so kind and considerate to me. And I basically was keeping him at an arms length.

" you must remember to let things go" he said. I nodded taking a swig.

Lena wrapped her arms around me and snuggled into me. Genji took the other side and I felt so comfortable in this little pile of friendship.

" what shall we do now?" Asked Lena sleepily.

" you know what I used to watch some nights ?" Asked Genji.

" what?" Yawned Lena.

" bob Ross"

I giggled

" what?" Said Genji

" I'm going to paint this happy little cloud" I said softly.

" many nights it lulled you to sleep" said Genji defending himself.

" ah. You would be right Genji" I said softly. He flipped it on and soon we all fell asleep in our little pile.

It must have been hours later when Jesse was slowly nudging Lena awake.

I rolled over and jack was gently nudging me as well.

Genji turned and curled into my side.

" join us! " Lena pleaded.

" I'm not sure how that would work" said Jesse.

I yawned. " it's fine. We should go to our own beds anyways. This one always causes back problems. "

" only she could just wake up and spout medical bullshit" said Lena. Reaching up for Jesse to carry her. He picked her up and they went off to their room.

" I do not need rest " said Genji. He was happily watching his happy little trees.

I let jack help me up.

" goodnight Genji" I said patting his shoulder.

" goodnight Angela and 76" he responded.

Jack and I walked down the hall together I didn't want to assume anything. But we stopped when we came to my door.

" you can join me if you want" I said softly.

" alright" he said. I smiled and opened the door. Dimming the lights and we stumbled over to the bed in darkness. I heard him remove his mask. I removed my clothes and switched into one of his old shirts I had laying around. I was lucky he hadn't taken them back. I heard him removing his clothes as well. And I crawled into bed. He joined me. His warm skin touching mine. I leaned my head towards him and his lips met mine.

We kissed for a few minutes before he gently kissed my forehead.

" who won?" I asked

" I did" he said

" both times?"

" oh. Uh. Yeah at cards. I did twice " he said softly.

He pulled my legs across his abdomen,My back resting in the crook of his arm and my head gently on his bare shoulder. My hand laid gently on his other shoulder. He gently kissed my forehead.

"i really missed this" i said softly into his ear, i should tell him, like... now...

"i missed this too angel... and you smiling and having fun with the team, it was nice"

"did you have fun with jesse?"

"yeah, but it was awkward, he kept bringing up things that used to happen at overwatch and i had to catch myself so many times, it was easier when i was alone or around people who didn't know overwatch's details"

"well it was so over-publicized anyways, i mean random people knew a lot about us, i wouldn't worry" i snuggled into him, his hand rubbed my back pulling me closer.

"i'm sorry you went through that" he muttered.

"it was years ago, you are back, i'm happy for once again"

"sorry if I've been angsty... "

"eh, you've always been angsty" i said with a nudge into him.

"i was stoic, not angsty"

"yeah...okay sure" i giggled.

"what... it was hard being around you, and being with you in secret! so i was stoic, not angsty"

"you had a lot on your shoulders jack..." i started to say.

"i still do" he muttered, i could hear the sadness in his voice.

"can i ask you something weird?"

"go for it"

"what's it like... being around people again? i mean, i understand, but i had a lot of interactions with patients and such, but you..."

"tiring" he flatly said, then he rolled into me.

" goodnight angel" he softly whispered into my hair then planted a kiss in my tresses.

" goodnight mein darling" I said, as I started to drift into a sleep, i couldn't help but think that my time to tell him about john was running short. I would need to tell him. I need to tell him...

 **A/N: i opted to have something light and happy before launching into some heavy stuff that is coming in the next chapter. i figured we could all use a happy little cloud in this story. I'm not exactly thrilled with this chapter, so if you hate it, let me know, but just know the next chapter should completely make up for it.**

 **I am also really sorry about any punctuation errors, i typically write this on my phone, then reformat it, typing at the computer causes my wrists to cramp a lot, so i am really sorry. I hope it doesn't interrupt the flow!**

 **Also i wanted to thank each and every one of you who comments, messages me and sends me encouragement and advice, it is really touching, amazing and wonderful and i'm really lacking how to express my thanks. So thank you, all of you.**


	26. Chapter 26

He woke me up with a kiss, softly whispering about going for a run, and clicked on his mask and off he went.

I jumped into the shower and got ready for the day. Leaving to grab coffee, But Ana stopped me on my way.

" we need to talk now" she angrily said.

" okay ..." I said cautiously.

We walked to Winston's room. And once entering she slammed the door.

" Fareeha contacted me. " she said bluntly.

" and?"

" she's being followed. She wants to join us but she is worried about John and Meera, I never wanted her to join. It was never my intention but that girl is headstrong. "

" like someone else we know" chuckled Winston.

I laughed softly.

" and you... you need to make a decision as to what you would like to do with your child. Meera is more than happy to care for him. But she wants to know what the plan is. Because she can come here with Fareeha and John. You can meet him and we can find another place for them to hide. However I'm worried. "Said Ana her voice had a slight shake in it.

" there is no doubt in my mind I only want what is best for him. But I don't know what is" i admitted, looking down.

Winston looked up. " if you want Ana and you can go out to them and escort them to a safer location. " he said.

" I don't know how i feel about that" I said.

" what do you have in mind?" He asked

" I don't know yet. I wish I did"

My voice was tired sounding, I just started medicating jack I didn't want to drop this on him.

" Fareeha can be here by tonight" said Ana. " knowing her she is probably on her way already despite what I said. But she wants to pull the eyes off Meera and John. "

I nodded my heart started pounding. I didn't know what to do honestly. I needed to tell him. Despite my holding back.

" I need some time. Please. Just. Give me till tonight. " I said softly. I got up as they nodded at me.

I left the room and went to my office. I closed the doors and let my emotions freely out. Everything hurt. I wasn't ready I wasn't ready. He wasn't ready but something needed to be done.

This would be harder than giving him up in the first place. I don't know what to expect. It's not like we would be this little happy family , living in a cabin and telling him bedtime stories. This wasn't the life jack and I had ever discussed other than in fantasy. He was a soldier and he left his life on a farm for a reason. He wanted to serve a purpose and I don't think fatherhood was exactly on his top list.

Hours had passed and Ana knocked on my door. I let her in.

" Fareeha will be here soon " she said with a slight smile.

I smiled back. I had missed her. She was so headstrong. We had all watched her grow up in and out of overwatch. I never knew how Ana handled it. But I guess she didn't know either.

"You know... I've had my fair share of motherhood decisions. But I think you made the right choice. Your work is important " said Ana.

I nodded.

" but don't think that I haven't regretted my decisions. " she added. Her eyes looked far away.

" what did you need to speak to me about?" She asked

" I'm I don't know if he is ready" I said my eyes filling with tears.

" my dear... He helped make him, He can have a say. I know he has been gone for years,And has changed but he is still very much the same person...he cares about you so much, However how you plan to go about this is your own decision. "

I sighed,She was right. He was ours but at the same time he was also mine to bear.

My heart ached.

" I just. I don't know what to do"

A frustrated grunt came out.

" my dear. When I had Fareeha he knew. And we agreed to keep working together and just ignoring the fact that it would eventually change us " said Ana carefully. I had never heard her talk about Fareeha's father before. As a matter of fact. I had no idea who he was.

" ah. I see you didn't know. We kept it that way,We used to be lovers but everything changed after a while. Not because we didn't love each other but because our paths were so motivated... I still love him but not exactly romantically. " said Ana carefully.

Wait... She worked with him... At overwatch ?!

" can I ask who?!" This information was interesting.

" my dear. You know him well. That's all I will say" she said with a smile.

I had treated Fareeha before but I never really thought about anything involving a father. It couldn't be... Reinhardt?

She sighed with a smile.

" needless to say everything can either work out. Or it won't and you need to accept that. " she said straightening up.

I smiled and thanked her. As she left my office I spun in my chair.

I looked over jacks chart, and debated upping his dosage already. The advances we had made in psych medication was intense once the proper funding was provided. Working with ptsd was something I had grown used too. But never usually with someone so close to me. It would all depend on how he would feel. I grabbed my cigarettes and headed for the roof. My stress levels were going up, I should be medicating myself as well. Ugh. Medication didn't bother me, obviously. More of a working out a proper dosage and having someone to talk to me and figure out my progress. I needed a team in general... It was hard enough working alone. Working alone was comforting and I was used to it but it was always nice to have a team to bounce ideas off of. I took a deep inhale and laid back staring at the sky as it began to darken. My stomach slightly growled. Remembering to eat... not one of my strong suites. Or cooking. Or cleaning. Ugh. Oh well. He used to like me regardless and he was a good cook. Don't daydream. You don't even know exactly how he feels about you. I lit another one and leaned over the edge of the roof. Lena and Jesse were running around in the distance. I finished the cigarette and made my way back to my office. Passing jack on the way.

" hey I was just coming to see you but you weren't there" he said

" sorry. Experiment " I said " you can come with me now" I said.

He followed me into my office as I shut the door behind him.

" we can inject or pills. I prefer injections though personally because the medication has some side effects when ingested ". I said matter of factly.

" whichever you think would be best" he said calmly.

Ugh. He's trusting me. He's taking steps. And I'm sitting here hiding information. Ugh. I'll tell him later. I readied the medication and he removed his jacket his bare arm extended. I carefully injected him.

I disposed of the needle and sat on my desk looking at him.

" how have you been feeling today?" I asked carefully.

" better, I didn't think it was supposed to work so fast" he said.

" yeah I'm quite surprised actually , but that is good, has anything caused an up in emotions" I asked

" nothing. Well... you... but that's about it. I went to the firing range today and my head felt clearer as I practiced. My run went well no elevated heart rate at all. Nothing startled me" he said calmly. I smiled at him and rubbed his arm gently. He took my hand.

A blush crept onto my face.

" I'm proud of you" My voice was soft and his posture stiffened.

" for what?"

" for trying this and accepting my help, it's a good improvement. I think you will feel the full effects soon, but you should probably lie down again for bit " I said carefully.

"but... i need to tell you something" i slowly started to say.

He yawned but his posture changed and stiffened.

" i don't know how to say this but..." i started shaking, i need to pull myself together. i need to be strong.

" so. you remember that night in Iceland..."

"Yes, of course i do, how could i forget?" he said.

"jack i'm pregnant." i blurted out.

"WHAT?" he exclaimed.

" i mean. scheisse, i mean i was...i mean. " i was scrambling for words. His hands ran through his hair.

" what happened... do... what?"

"i had a kid... and he"

"HE?! " his voice was raising.

"we have a son" i said softly.

He just got up, and left, not a word, just left... i couldn't even cry, my worries and fears were being realized and all i could do is panic. I walked back to my room, i wouldn't try to follow him, he needed processing time...

No sooner had I shut my door did I hear a knock. Ana and Fareeha standing there. I motioned for them to enter. I quickly hugged Fareeha and she sort of returned the hug. She felt stiff.

" are you okay!? Do you need medical attention ?" I asked gently.

" I'm joining overwatch much to my mothers dismay" she said. Her voice sounded sharp , she had really grown in the past years.

" but I needed to talk to you about John" she said angrily.

I sighed and looked at Ana. Who tried to stop her.

" look. I was also a child of overwatch and I had to deal with a lot. And I mean a lot. But you either have to be there or not be there. But don't put my family at risk because you don't know what you want..."

" Fareeha that isn't fair" said Ana.

" what!? It wasn't fair to me either, I'm just letting her know what it's like. At least I was allowed to come visit, you haven't seen him since you gave birth! And don't try saying it was because you didn't know. Because you could have tried. You aren't stupid " she barked. Her voice raising.

I felt tears forming and my anger was rising. My emotions feeling drained. I couldn't deal with this right now. I deserved a scolding,But this really really hurts. From one person who knows what it's like. I don't want our child hating me... errr us. Fuck. Us.

" I understand what you are saying but I didn't want to put any of you at risk."

" that's bullshit and you know it. You just couldn't deal with the fact that you. You all perfect angelic wonderful doctor Ziegler had a baby you didn't want and abandoned it to my family to watch! DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY TIMES WE HAVE MOVED BECAUSE OF YOUR BASTARD" she shouted.

My throat felt tight and everything started spinning.

" why. Why are you" I gasped out.

" I mean he's a great kid, a wonderful kid if you would even bother to get to know him. " she said her voice softening.

" get. Out" I said. My voice hoarse.

Ana nodded at me.

" Fareeha apologize. You are angry but at the wrong person" said Ana.

" I won't" she said. Opening the door and leaving. Ana gave me an apologetic look and sighed. Going after her.

" fuuuuuck! " I screamed. I punched the closest thing I could find. As I did I saw jack out of the corner of my eye in the hallway, he had probably been coming to yell at me too... i deserved it. But the thing is... i didn't feel anything exactly...i felt completely numb. He froze for a moment and walked away.

I returned to my room.I grabbed my vodka and downed some of it. Grabbing my flask and pacing. This is ridiculous. I need to talk to him. Maybe. Oh shit oh hell. I rushed to alcohol instead of him. I'm an idiot. I paced and walked over to his door. Knocking softly,No answer. I couldn't hear any noise at all.

Hmmmm if he wasn't in his room he could be outside. Or somewhere.

I walked outside. The darkness and air hit my face. I smoked a cigarette while looking for him. Before just climbing up to the roof to get a better view. Why the hell didn't I check here in the first place. I saw him in the corner just sitting, He was holding something in his hand.

I carefully walked over to him.

" I'm so sorry..." I said softly. He flinched. I tried looking at what he was holding but he moved it away.

" don't. " he said.

I couldn't stop myself. The words came tumbling out... like an aggressive wave of regret.

" I wanted to tell you then... I was going to tell you. I just. I wanted to make sure you were ready " I sobbed. I couldn't stop it... why am i like this?

" Jesus Angela. Ready when ? It's been how many years ?!"

I deserved that. But at the same time I couldn't believe it.

" you weren't there jack. You weren't there who would I tell?!" I said. I immediately regretted it.

" I'm sorry" I said.

He flung something at me and I looked at it in the moonlight. Fuck. The ultrasound. I printed out a copy foolishly. I was going to tell him, I had printed the photo to surprise him. But Gabriel had gotten in the way as always.

" I'm so sorry" I said shaking.

" I don't know how to process this. I thought I could but I'm not sure. " he said softly. His voice wasn't angry anymore. It sounded sad. "i mean, i knew in a way, but i didn't think you wouldn't have told me... i didn't think you would hide this from me, fuck... angela. why didn't you tell me?"

" jack please. Come inside with me. I want to show you something. "

" I don't want to go anywhere with you right now"

" I deserve that. I understand " I softly said. " I didn't want to keep this from you"

" Angela, Shut up please... And leave me alone. " he pleaded, i could hear the pain in his voice. I pushed the photo back at him and slowly walked off to the ladder. Carefully climbing down it and lighting another. Leaning down against the building and sobbing. I am a fool for not telling him when I originally found out,But it's not all my fault.

We both screwed up. He disappeared! I could have told him. And somehow he knew? somehow he found the ultrasound. The writing on the back was mine. And who else would I call my darling ? Nothing made sense. Why did it happen like this. And why was Fareeha taking this out on me?

Timing couldn't have been worse. I took another swig and returned to my room. I was worried about him but there wasn't much I could do tonight, I would check on him in a bit. Everyone was asleep... Fareeha probably in her mothers room for the night. I turned on my bath and sunk into it. Letting the warmth ease some tension. How foolish was I? Why didn't. Stop. I needed to stop thinking about this. I couldn't do anything. He probably hates me. I'm almost forty. And here I was playing head games. I toweled off and changed into something comfortable .I heard a soft knock on my door. My heart raced. I just wanted to explain myself.

He was standing there. I motioned for him to come in.

"Look I wanted to tell you " I started.

" I'm the one who came to you now. I have some things I want to say. " he said.

I nodded. And went to sit on my bed because my own body felt like it was falling to the ground.

" why didn't you tell me? where you ever planning on telling me? Why the fuck were you on the field if you were pregnant unless you just... Didn't care or didn't care enough about the fact that we created a child and just. Fuck Angela. I don't know... Just why..." his voice cracked. " Were you scared of telling me ? Did you worry about how I would react or what would happen or didn't you plan on doing anything ?!" His voice sounded so strained.

I deeply inhaled.

" I found out about a month after I got pregnant, I panicked. Because well. Obviously. But I was so happy but so terrified. Then the whole Reyes thing... and I just didn't want to add to your stress level. "

"fuck reyes we aren't talking about him... did you care about me then or did you just look at me like someone you could fix? "

How could he even think that.

" don't you dare say that again to me. Don't you dare. That's not fair. That's not fair to me, I have spent years in love with you,With everything about you. You asked me if I ever saw the bad in you. I do! But I don't care. We aren't perfect jack! We never have been. I made a mistake. A huge mistake. I put everything at risk because I care about people... I care so much about them that I put them first... But I loved you. You idiot. I love you"

I said my body shaking. I couldn't even cry. His body shook so hard and he fell to the ground shaking.

I rushed over to him. " jack listen to me. I'm right here"

" Angela. If. You. Had. Just. Told me. " he gasped out.

" jack shhh I need you To breathe okay. Just breathe please. " I said softly. My hand stroking his back. He tried to move away. And I let him. He tried to control his breathing. But it sounded labored.

"Jack please. Please. Just breathe. Focus. It's okay. I'm so sorry. I just. I didn't know how to find you. I didn't know. I didn't know. " I cried softly.

His breathing calmed down.

" we have a kid... " his voice was cracking.

" we have a kid. " I said.

He shook all over.

" his name is John" I said softly. Stroking his hair.

He shook more. Slowly removing his mask. My heart pounded. His face. Jack's face was looking at me! It was soaked with tears, i wanted to kiss his perfect face, he fell into my lap. His entire body shaking.

He gently rubbed my hand, His face was scarred but so handsome still. He looked older but not by much,His white hair betrayed his age.

"i would have resigned, i would have.. i would have done anything angela... you do understand that right?! what part of that didn't you understand... we were supposed to fight things together"

His eyes shut tightly.

" I'm so sorry my darling " I said crying with him. Somehow in my naivety, i never thought of that. I always figured he would always be a soldier.

"i never thought... i just... i never thought.. fuck. things were so hard then"

"i would have given anything to have just walked away ange... to have been able to just... live, this would have... " he sighed heavily and looked at me. His eyes looked completely confused, nervous, anxious... thousands of emotions registering on his face that i had never seen.

He looked up at me and kissed me. His kisses getting deeper and deeper. Pushing me back onto the floor. His body on top of mine. Slowly stroking my face in his hands.

" I'm so sorry angel" he gasped out when he stopped. He was looking me in my eyes,and he pulled me back up,Cradling me in his lap and kissing my head.

" you didn't know" I said softly.

His eyes angered. " you didn't tell me..." he said.

"i know jack..." here we go again, but what can i do? besides letting him get all of this out.

"Angela you had two months according to the ultrasound. "

I bit my lip and tried to turn away from him.

" four months" I said in complete and utter guilt. His posture changed and he got up. Grabbing his mask and going for the door.

" jack please. Understand "

" angela, i would have... i would have understood" his voice shook and cracked.

This was just going to keep going on and on... but it's him actually finding out that i actually gave birth, and that our son is out there alive... i need to use every bit of strength to get through this.

" i don't know jack... between you and Reyes and the UN. i didn't want you to..."

" i told you i was dealing with him, you never should have tried getting involved"

"i was doing it for us..."

"No angela, you were doing it for yourself, you hated violence... and you didn't want it to end in a fight"

"i tried jack... it was foolish, i tried and i don't know why i bothered because i lost you anyways, and i lost him. i lost everything when you died... i lost everything" my sobs echoed in my own head. i didn't want to get angry at him, it's not his fault... i shouldn't have stepped in, i just wanted everything perfect when i told him.

"you act like i didn't lose anything then..."

"you know what i meant. Please don't turn this around on me. Yes. i made a mistake... i made a mistake i have had to live with, the minute i knew you were alive i should have told you, but would you have listened?! " i stopped crying, my frustration took control, i'm not mad at him, i'm mad at myself for how this went down.

"Angela... i need a minute okay?"

i nodded as he clicked on his mask and left.

Jacks pov

Am I so broken that she couldn't tell me? She went onto the field pregnant. No. Four months pregnant with our child... Our child. A smile slightly formed again,Somewhere was our son. A son. How how could I have not noticed? Reyes. Fucking Reyes. I slammed my hands into the walls of my room. She didn't trust me. She said she did. She said she loved me. But why why wouldn't she tell me? Was I that horrible during that time... was I so far gone that she didn't tell me. Fuck. What the fuck. You are an idiot. You didn't even notice your girlfriend was pregnant... that's probably why you didn't believe the betrayal of your best friend. Fucking Reyes. He ruined everything. Everything I ever tried for in life. He even tried taking her from me... Numerous times to my face. Fuck him...

. Fuck her no. No. I loved her. I loved her so much. I still love her. How did this happen. No. I know how it happened. God did I know how it happened. My mind racing to the night when it must have happened. Stationed in the Iceland. Alone with her... God she was so beautiful. She was always so beautiful. Her small body wrapped around mine... fuck no. Stop. She lied. She lied because she didn't want you to know. That can't be true... I don't think she has a mean bone in her entire body. But this this was betrayal. She never told me. Why didn't she tell me ? Things were awful then. I used her constantly for comfort then. Did I ever even listen to her during those months? The more I think of those months the angrier I feel. He ruined everything. Just like I did. If I would have stopped and stopped fucking her long enough to listen... I'm such an idiot. I'm such an idiot. My chest heaved. Panic filling my mind. I wanted to check on her. I just left her there crying. No wonder she didn't tell me. I wouldn't tell me. Fuck fuck.

I need to fix this. I need to do something anything. I can't let her see me like this. I already cried on-top of her. How will this...

I can't do this... I can't do it. If you can't even talk to her then you are completely weak. She just wanted to help you and look at this mess you created. No... she made mistakes too. She could have told me, unless she didn't trust me, I didn't trust me.

My god this is all Reyes. This is all his fault. I trusted the wrong person, you are supposed to have trust in your team. I trusted so many and somehow it kept getting ruined.

Or was it her? Things didn't start to become strained with Reyes until she showed up. Well, that's my fault too. I recruited her. She put up such a fight, not that I could blame her at all. Her parents killed by war. Being raised by whoever. Shit. She was doing the same thing to her... our son. I wish I would have known. I should have known. We could have retired young and moved to the alps, or somewhere secluded. Then overwatch wouldn't have fallen in that way. I don't know what to do. Again I don't know what to do, the last time this happened I disappeared. It wasn't her, she didn't do this , we did this ... I just don't know... i can't process this, the years i thought something had happened... stress or something made her lose our child... fuck. i wasn't there... and i'm not there for her right now either... you can do this.

I took a deep breath in, i had stopped the spiral of thoughts... in all these years all these voices constantly screaming at me, calling me a failure... i finally stopped the thoughts. Even if i don't talk to her again tonight, i just need to be near her. i need to make some sort of effort on my part.

My feet felt like they were weighted down and i walked to her door and knocked. The door opened and she was standing there, looking angelic as always, her face was streaked red... i caused this. She stepped aside and let me in and i came in and closed the door, dropping my mask and holding her.

"i'm sorry angel, i don't feel like talking anymore tonight, but i just want to be with you... if you will allow it"

Her arms wrapped tightly around me and she said something muffled into my chest.

"what?" i asked.

She pulled away and looked at me in the eyes "das ist gut" (That is good)

She walked over to the bed and i laid behind her, her small body curling into mine, i carefully stroked her hair. It still felt weird with the black hair instead of her blonde, but she was always beautiful, and will always be beautiful. We have a son...

"angela" i said, hearing the own shake in my voice.

"i'm so sorry, i'm so sorry with how i just reacted, this is some of the most amazing news i could ever get, and i ruined it. "

i could feel her twisting her body back to look at me, she ran her hands along my face and gently kissed my lips, her beautiful soft lips touching my scarred ones. She pulled away and looked at me with her kind beautiful eyes.

" i understand" her voice was so comforting, all i wanted in the world was her...i always thought it was to become a hero, but i think that was more of a dream to hide the loneliness, until i met her. Now we have a family to protect, i have a family to protect.

"would you like to see him?" she asked reaching over into her nightstand.

I heard my heart pounding. Calm down, calm down, of course you do... she grabbed a photo, i couldn't see it, but she turned back to face me.

"yes..." my voice was shaking, and she carefully handed it, photo side down... just look. God. i would rather see him in person, but this is probably all she has seen besides... i missed my kids birth, his birthdays... we missed his birthdays, steps... ugh am i crying again? i must be because her hands are wiping my face. I slowly turned the picture over, this could have been me...

"that's..."

"our son" she said with the most beautifully heartbreaking smile. I looked at the photo, then back at her, then back at the photo and back again to her.

I pulled her small body into mine, kissing her hair. "i love you angel." i said into her hair.

"i love you too" she said as she kissed my neck, buried her face into my neck and her warm breathing slowly lulled me into a peaceful sleep, while i held her and the photograph in my arms.

 **A/N: There it is! i hope it's okay, i tried! i re-wrote sections of this so many times, and had to dial back my angst meter.I still wanted him to feel hurt and go through the motions of finding out your girlfriend hid a pregnancy and all the self doubt he usually struggles with. If this is terrible, let me know, i can send my other drafts, and we can fix it. I really tried though.**

 **Also! i am absolutely shocked at how well my last chapter went over! i was so weirdly conflicted about it. However all your reviews and messages have been so encouraging... and i just wanted to thank you all for being amazing to me, i keep saying it over and over but it means so much to me that people are taking the time to read this. Thank you**


	27. Chapter 27

The morning had arrived, his body still holding me tightly.

A heavy knock was heard on my door.

Shit. Jack grumbled and pulled me closer.

" hey shhh, i need to check what's up" the knocking got louder. I struggled free of the jack Morrison death cuddle, and cracked the door slightly.

"Winston needs all of us for a briefing" said Genji.

" k" I said.

"you look unwell... are you feeling alright?"

"uhm. i'm fine... long night" i muttered running my hands through my tangled hair.

He nodded and walked off.

i walked back to the bed and into his arms.

"meeting?" he sighed.

"yes, which means we need to get you back to your room, changed and in the meeting room, and not looking ready to destroy the world" i said.

He groaned "hey at least i wear a mask, you unfortunately have the look of a banshee"

"that was not needed" i grumbled back. "du bist so unhöflich" (you are so rude)

"it's too early and i'm too cranky for german" said jack sitting up and mussing with my hair.

i grunted, and pushed him towards the door, while peering out.

"you should be fine... go" i motioned.

He clicked on his mask and dashed across the hall.

Closing the door and sliding into my yoga pants and tank top. I slid a hoodie on for extra comfort. I washed my face off, slid on some liner and headed to the meeting room. I tried to brush through my hair on the way but i ended up just yanking it into a bun.

As i walked in Fareeha's gaze turned to me and glared.I just pulled a seat next to Lena.

" what's wrong love?" Lena half whispered, that girl couldn't whisper if she tried.

" nothing just tired. " I said.

" we have something to accomplish today it's not far from here and it will be Fareeha call-sign Pharah's first mission with us. " said Winston.

Her name made me internally cringe. I know she was hurting but the way she went about it was completely out of line.

" we just need to get some items away from a small rouge organization, apparently they might be bringing weapons into eichenwalde, for those of you who don't know it is abandoned as well. But it's a good passing point for weaponry " Said Winston.

Reinhardt sighed, looking a bit sad and nostalgic.

" it's been years since I've last been there" he said sadly.

" some things should be left alone" said Ana patting his arm.

I sat there waiting to find out if Winston would allow us on this mission or if we would have to stay behind.

" wheels up in an hour. Get ready " said Winston.

" but 76 and Angela I'll need to speak to the both of you ".

I nodded and Lena shot me a sad look as the group left the room. I leaned back in my chair trying to focus solely on Winston.

" I need to know I can trust you 76. I know Ana trusts you, but after your display I'm not sure"

" he's fine you can trust him. " I said studying my fingernails, trying to look interested in something.

I heard jack clearing his voice " it won't happen again " he said.

" I'm still a bit unsure, stick with Angela better this time, and always remember to protect your healer. We don't want her coming back the same as last time "

" believe me , she won't leave my sights " said Jack.

I felt something stir inside of me. And I half smiled to myself.

" you are both dismissed. I'll see you on the jet" said Winston. " but if anything like that happens again..."

" I know I know. You will throw peanut butter at us "

" well no. I wouldn't waste peanut butter like. ... oh you didn't mean it like that" said Winston shyly laughing.

I shook my head " don't worry. You can trust us " I said looking up at jack, we had both stood up and exited together.

" Angela, a word? " he asked.

" eh. I need to prep. But walk and talk. " I said. It was true I needed to get more nano boosts ready. I did need to do medical evaluation on fareeha. But I could do that on the flyer so she won't start anything.

" I wanted to ... I mean I..." he said stumbling on words.

I felt guilty. Here I am acting mildly annoyed, and he just wants a cleared head.

We entered my lab. And I set to work. He sat in one of the chairs while I measured out what I needed.

" I just... Hum... Do you think the medication will interact with a nanoboost?" He said hurriedly.

I looked up from my bullets and arched an eyebrow.

" seriously ?"

" yes?"

I rolled my eyes " exactly how long have you known me for?"

" a long time"

" and have I ever given anyone anything that would interact without testing it first in some form?"

" well..."

" that time with Torbjorn doesn't count. I didn't know he was on... well. Never mind, anyways. All the components have been checked on organic materials and it's fine " I said with a slight sigh. Going back to my work.

" also will you eat something before we head out?"

" I don't really have time...but I have some protein " I started.

" I'll bring you something " he said

I half laughed " I'm fine. As much as I have missed your food. I'm fine. Save it for when we get back... In one piece this time I hope"

" fine" he said " I won't bother you anymore "

" honestly,You aren't a bother it's rather monotonous in here. " I said as I loaded another dart and placed in into the small ammo box, repeating the process as he sat there in silence.

He was scrolling the mission report and making notes on paper, typical Jack, sticking to the classic pen and paper planning. I glanced over at him. It was just comforting to have him by my side. It felt like the old days all over again, sometimes he would just come and hang around me, silently... to make sure i didn't freak out if something went wrong. My assistants usually weren't in the room during this. It was always such a comforting thing to be closer while still doing what needed to be done.

I mixed up some more and sat there waiting for it to combine. Softly muttering numbers under my breathe and doing math for the appropriate dosing, I heard him almost laugh.

" what?" I asked.

" nothing. " he said. "i just missed this" i looked up and smiled at him.

" you almost done?" He asked.

I arched an eyebrow at him.

" it's just we need to leave in twenty, I know you lose track of time " he said kindly.

" oh. Yeah. Heh. Thanks, keep track of it for me please"

"It's what I'm here for" he said softly

I blushed slightly and almost knocked over my mixing vials.

" can I talk about something..." I asked carefully.

He grunted.

" I'm actually worried about being near Fareeha on this mission" I sighed.

He rubbed the back of his neck and sighed.

" yeah... "

" I just I know I need to put personal issues behind me when on the mission, but I'm not used to having someone be so furious at me before a mission "

" then put it behind you, clear your head and focus on healing and nothing else. It's a mission not a social visit "

" well I know that! I'm just saying, we have the flight over there and back. "

" just sit with me. We can play cards or something"

" you know I'm terrible at cards" I said while finishing up the last nanoboosts.

" I'm kinda counting on it" he said glancing at the time.

" we should probably head over now" he said.

Then it hit me. Here I was worried about Fareeha. When my bigger issues were with jack. But we just sat around comfortably for the past hour... which means either he's calmed down from last night. Or he's trying to be a good soldier. Eh. Or the medication is helping him have more control. Either way it was boding well for my current state of mind.

" hey jack. Thank you" I said softly as we walked out the doors to gather our gear.

" You don't need to thank me" he said, he lightly touched my cheek for a moment.

We grabbed our gear and got onto the Flyer, settling into our areas. I sat with jack and he pulled out some cards.

" oh god you are serious!" I said with a slight laugh.

" I don't joke around" he said shuffling the deck.

I felt Lena glance over at us, and Fareeha just was glaring the entire flight. Winston came over and explained the strategy using some of Jack's notes. Once again simple enough, I was to stay with 76 and Genji. While McCree and Lena charted out the sides. Fareeha would be around for sky patrol as needed but mostly working with Ana. Torbjorn would ready his turrets while Reinhardt was there for shielding if needed.

" we are probably being over prepared but I would rather have all of you and have too many than under-powered and lose someone" said Winston.

" anyways we should be landing within the hour"

I slid my Valkyrie suit on and adjusted my wings then returned sitting back down next to jack.

" Torbjorn sure does fast work on those" he said.

" yeah, I think he hates them with the frequency in which he has to repair them"

Torbjorn peeked up at the mention of his name.

" what are yeh complainin' about?" He asked.

" I was saying you probably hate how often you need to repair these"

" it's about time for a replacement. " said Torbjorn looking slightly distant.

" we can make them with a different metal" he added excitedly. Oh shit.

I needed to check out Fareeha.

" wish me luck" I whispered at jack.

He patted my arm gently.

I took a deep breath and walked over to Ana and Fareeha.

My medical kit in hand,Ana glanced up at me.

" I don't want to interrupt but I need to quickly do a health evaluation. I already have your medical records but I need to inject you with the nanobots. And just do basic vitals. " I said.

" i would rather you didn't " she said.

" look, I don't care what you think of me at this moment. You are an agent and I need to do this or you can't go out there" I said surprisingly stern.

She relented, rolling her eyes and holding out her arm for the shot. I quickly ran vitals and put it into the system.

" thank you" I said softly walking back to jack and sighing.

" that didn't look too painful" he said throwing down a card.

" ha. Yeah well. Go fish?"

" ange we were playing... never mind. Got any 7's?"

I frowned.

" you cheated..." as I threw down my 7's.

" I am appalled you would think so, I take that as a personal attack"

" oh yeah ?! What are you going to do?" I smirked.

He shrugged and claimed his cards.

" oh so that is how it's going to be?!" I flung another card at him and another. As he dodged out of the way laughing.

It felt natural. Like how it used to be... which hurt , but also brought hope.

" loves! We have arrived!" Said Lena. We hadn't even felt a landing. The first groups exited as Genji hopped over to us. He lightly nudged me and I looked at him.

" it's good to see you smile. But concentrate" he said softly to me. I nodded.

As we exited and examined the area. I crept behind Genji and jack. The area was so beautiful. I could easily see why Reinhardt had loved it here.

" detecting movement two clicks north" said Ana into the comm.

" it shows five hostiles" said Winston.

" 76 get ready. They are headed your way" said Winston.

Jack waved us to join him in a dilapidated building. The stone walls were beautiful. I was a bit in awe but had to remain focused instead of admiration.

I crouched behind Genji who was also crouched. Jack on the other side of the door peering out.

" get ready" he muttered.

I braced myself to boost.

" aw fuck. See these? Recent tracks " said one of the hostiles. He sounded so young.

" Winston. These are kids..." said Genji softly.

" what?!" Asked Winston. You could hear panic in his voice.

" they can't be over 19 years old" whispered jack into the comm. my heart sank, This rouge group was so young... war takes all people of all ages. This was the age jack enlisted at...We never expected this.

" spread out and look around guys. We have intruders " said another hostile.

" Winston I need orders" said jack.

" disengage them. And if that doesn't work... you know what to do ".

" mercy stay back" said Genji as jack and him moved forward.

I slid back hiding behind a table in the room. I was ready to go if they needed me.

A scuffle was heard outside and jack and Genji dragged in three unconscious teens. I sighed softly.

" we have three if Ana or someone can pick up the other two stragglers. We can figure out what's going on" jack said.

Genji carefully tied their wrists. As they started to stir awake.

One opened his eyes and blinked looking frightened.

" hello. You are safe" I softly said.

" Angela don't. " said jack, a slight shake of worry crossed his voice.

I shut up and sat back. They must have just temporarily stunned them. The kid looked at me. He looked so young and scared.

" what. What happened ?" He asked

" you are transporting weapons of war. You tell us" said Jack gruffly.

" we lost sights on the others" said Winston.

" where are the others?" Growled jack. The other two woke up.

" we won't tell you! " said one trying to break loose.

The one who woke up originally looked at me in the eyes. He looked so sad, my heart was aching for him. He probably had no choice...

Genji was peering out the door and he drew out his blade.

" Mercy. Get your pistol ready and keep watch" said jack. Following behind Genji.

I carefully gripped my pistol. Dreading having to use it again. But I knew it was for my protection.

"Hey sexy " said one of the teens.

I slightly rolled my eyes.

" it's doctor"

" oh. Oh doctor I'm hurt" fake moaned one of them.

" if I was in your position I wouldn't be joking. " I said briskly.

" mercy you okay?" Said Winston over the comm.

" I'm fine" I replied.

I heard Jack's helix rockets go off.

" aw shit. I told you we shouldn't have taken this job. " said the sad eyed one.

" shut up. It's money" said the creep.

" who do you work for?" I asked calmly. Knowing jack and Genji wouldn't have left me or had gotten far.

" come over here and I might tell you" said the other one.

" who. Do you work for?" I asked again, my voice getting more commanding.

The other two laughed while the sad eyed one just kept eyeing me sadly. I wanted to comfort him and get him out of this life , but that was for the team to decide not me.

I heard footsteps approaching and Genji appeared in the opposite doors.

" located the other two they are headed your way" said Winston.

" look we don't want any issues we just want-" the sad one started to say

" mercy get down" shouted Genji. I ducked but I heard a shot and felt a warm substance on my face. I opened my eyes. And I witnessed Genji throw his shruikins at the attackers outside. I opened my eyes and I was covered in blood. The sad kids blood. And. Oh shit. I felt vomit rising. I was used to horrible sites... But I was covered in the blood of a teenager. Skull fragments on me. Nothing was left of his head. The other two had been shot as well. I hadn't been injured but Jack entered the room speaking into the comm " hostiles have been eliminated " he said. Then I saw his head look in my direction as he ran to me along with Genji.

" are you hurt?!" They both said in unison.

" I'm. I'm. Fine. " I gasped out. I had done so many surgeries in my life and had seen so much death. Dead children. But right in front of me... this was new. Having a kid explode in my view.

" Scheisse Scheisse" I kept uttering ( shit).

Genji was checking their pockets for any information, Grabbing what he could.

He softly spoke the names on their I.D's as if saying it in a form of a mantra " Isaac, Zack and John" ... my chest heaved, John was the sad eyed one... guilt swept over me, it's a common name Ziegler... pull yourself together.

Jack slightly rubbed my arm, while looking me over for injuries.

" Winston get us out of here. I'll direct you to the location of the supplies. We need to leave as soon as possible. More may come eventually. I took down the older ones. They seemed associated and loyal to talon. " he spoke into the comm. then focused on me again. Trying to rub the blood off my face. He reached into his pack and grabbed some bandages using them as makeshift cloth. As I sat there in mild shock.

We heard the flyer approach and jack handed me over to Genji while he led the others to grab the supplies and survey the area. Genji's arm was holding me up as I walked into the flyer.

Lena gasped " ange! Are you okay?!" She shrieked.

I nodded slowly. And Genji ran to grab me a cloth to wipe my face with but I just sat where he seated me.

Ana rushed over and took the cloth and wiped off my face. Jack and the group returned. And Ana pulled off my Valkyrie suit and placed it in the corner.

" it's okay darling " she softly said helping me over to the sink and I ran my face under the cold water,Scrubbing until I couldn't anymore.

She helped me back over to my couch seat and I curled up. I could hear the team talk about talon. And about how the others shot the ones we captured before Genji could get to them.

The weapons we obtained were of destruction. But one box was ridiculously heavy. And even Reinhardt had trouble. A bird was chirping and flew into the craft. " we found a bastion unit." Said Jesse with a scowl.

" didn't think any of those remained. " said Ana softly.

" well this one does! And it's real friendly too" exclaimed Lena.

" there is no such thing as a friendly bastion unit" said Reinhardt.

" now. Let's not get hasty. A bastion unit does have some good parts, despite bein' worthless machines" said torbjorn.

A terrified whirring noise floated in the air.

" now you've upset him!" Said Lena.

" that bird is his friend, he could have shot us but he didn't..." said Lena.

I just sat there with Genji. It had been years since I was startled that hard by death.

" what do you want us to do with him?" Asked Winston.

" I figured he could. You know. Join us?" Said Lena softly.

Jack sighed and walked over to the group discussing it.

" you can go too Genji" I said. I knew he would have something to say regarding the matter.

A few minutes had passed, voices raised and mechanical whirrs had sounded. But soon Genji and Jack rejoined me and the doors completely closed with a new member of our team on board.

" so Winston is going to figure out a program to better understand him, and we will be keeping him for the time being" said Genji.

" that's nice " I said holding out the cards. Jack shuffled them and passed out some cards. Lucio popped over and jack dealt some more.

We played for the entire flight home. Not really speaking of much except accusing each other of lying about our cards. Jesse was watching the bastion unit with Winston. And finally we arrived back. I couldn't wait for a shower to get everything completely off.

Genji grabbed my Valkyrie suit and we all exited the flyer including bastion, shyly though. He was a very expressive unit.

I walked to my room in silence.

i opened the door and stripped off the clothes i was wearing and showered. Slowly sitting down and combing out my hair in the shower trying to remove all the blood. I probably had to show up for a evaluation of the Mission, and as if on cue my phone went off.

" Angela. Since I heard most of what happened on the comm and 76 and Genji informed me of the rest , I won't need your statement tonight. " said Winston kindly.

" hum. Thanks" I said hanging up and returning to the shower, laying on the floor and contemplating filling the tub. After a few minutes, or something, I lost track of all time. I stood up and completely rinsed off. Sliding into a robe and drying my hair off.

A small knock was at my door. Jack was standing there.

" hey I promised you food , and it's not much but I think it's still one of your favorites. "

" one second I need to change. Wait never mind " I didn't want him standing in the hall outside my door for long.

He came in with a grilled cheese and I swear he hardly stepped into the door before I sunk my teeth into it.

" do you ever eat ?" He laughed closing the door.

" not usually" I said after I swallowed. " oh my god thank you "

" this is like the easiest thing to make, I just wanted something quick for you to eat" it was true. He was actually amazing in the kitchen. I could burn absolutely anything. Sigh.

" thank you so much" I said as I finished it.

" I might have ulterior motives" he said softly.

" what would those be?" I asked softly I sat on my bed and motioned for him to join me.

" I wanted to apologize for yesterday , I was just. I don't know what I was. Everything was racing "

" ah. Speaking of which you need your medication " I said. Ugh Angela. Here he is apologizing and you are going all doctor on him.

" just because I couldn't handle myself properly doesn't mean I will constantly need this. I'm trying too"

" I know I know I'm sorry. My brain" I said.

I rubbed his back and he leaned into me.

" I should really get your meds before it's too late though. Withdrawal is a bitch" I said.

He sighed frustrated.

" it's nothing personal. Jack I'm a doctor. You know how I am "

" yeah for the most part. You are stronger now" he said.

" I'll go get it" I said standing slowly.

" hum. Ange you should probably put on real clothes" he said.

I frowned. Ugh. I grabbed some pants and a shirt and slid into them in the bathroom.

" you. Don't move" I said to him. He was comfortably sitting on my bed. I ran off and grabbed the medication. Almost bumping in Genji on the way back. I quickly apologized and scurried into the room.

Jack had his jacket off and arm ready.

I injected him and put the needle in one of my sealed containers. Then cuddled into his side.

" Now for my other question " he said then he kissed my forehead.

"Mhmm?"

" uh. Can we meet him? I mean obviously you met him but. Can I meet him?" He asked softly.

My eyes shot open, he's actually asking already...

" hum. Yeah ? Ana has been asking me about that. Since he needs to move again" I sighed. " I only met him the day I gave birth"

He gently stroked my cheek.

" I'm so sorry" he said.

" for what? It was out of my control " I said.

" I could have been there" he said

" we both could have but it's out of our control now. "I said softly and kissed his cheek.

" I just I could have been there" I could feel him begin to shake again and I stroked his hair.

" jack, you didn't know. That is my fault. We are both to blame, but it can be fixed ". With that being said he pulled me against him and sighed.

"the thing is, you know i've been followed apparently, well... Meera is Ana's sister, and our child looks just like us... so we are worried. Ana is apparently coming up with a plan"

"wait, are you telling me Fareeha left while they were being watched? does this Meera have any combat training at all... what if something happens" his breathing was getting strained.

"shhh... she's an Amari... i highly doubt that she is unprepared in case... Fareeha left because she didn't want to draw too much attention to them and have them discovered, so she left and they left to a different spot but they need to go further" i explained as calmly as possible.

His breathing returned to normal.

" we will talk to Ana in the morning. Okay?" I said as I wiggled to get even closer.

"Fareeha apologized to me..." i added softly

"also, i don't want you engaging with hostiles anymore on missions, i know you were trying to help... but i worry about you. I don't know if it's your stubbornness to see good in everyone or what..."

"Jack, they were children"

He exhaled and kissed my cheek. "Angela, they made their decisions to join... we tried to handle it without killing them, but their own team turned on them, it's not your fault"

"but i could have done something differently... "

"no darling, you couldn't have done anything differently, you are there to heal and sometimes shoot, not interrogate or anything of that nature" he started kissing my neck gently. It sent numbing sensations down my body, if this was his idea of distraction it was working.

" get some rest angel, you had a long day" he whispered.

He kissed the back of my head and stroked my back gently, as we both drifted into sleep.

 **A/N: There we go, i needed to push the plot a little, give it a nudge in the correct direction. I know this isn't as emotionally charged as the last chapter, but i figured we could all use a breath of air after that one. I am once again completely shocked at the response, i was so on the fence about it...but thank goodness for all of you!**

 **Every single review brings me a smile, and something to think about! But massive shout outs to GOWBairdSam and PsYchRoxx for making sure i trust my instincts and being such awesome people in general and making sure i post my chapters as i intend them to be.**

 **Leyla! you don't have an account so i couldn't thank you personally, but oh my goodness, thank you! thank you! and thank your friend for me too!**

 **Once again! i thank you all for reading, and if you have any comments or anything but don't feel like publicly writing it, my inbox is always open!**


	28. Chapter 28

I woke up and he wasn't there. But the warmth remained. We must have slept in. Glancing at the clock reading at 6:00 a. M. Nope. He must have just left. today I would have to explain what happened on the mission. i walked into the bathroom to change and brush out my hair/ It really needed a touch up, as I pulled it into a bun. Sliding on eyeliner I heard a soft knock and I opened the door to breakfast.

" sorry angel. Didn't want to get caught bringing you food. But I know you rarely eat as it is" he said softly closing the door and balancing the plate.

"i don't think it matters if we get caught... "

"sorry, old habits..." he said walking over to the bed, and placing the plates on the large night stand i had, he removed his mask.I sat next to him and gave him a kiss and he handed me a fork. I really had missed this as well. We had certain rituals after missions. He would make breakfast and bring it to whichever room we slept in. Unless that mission was a disaster and he would be in meetings all night. This one was a minor disaster but there was nothing to talk about til later today. We ate in silence and I just enjoyed his food and company.

" thank you so much for this. I really really missed this. And you. "

" ah you missed my omelets more. Don't lie"

" maybe..." i said with a smile.

he moved the plate and tackled me.

" say that again " he said while pinning me down.

" I said. I missed your omelets more than you" with a mischievous glance

He kissed my neck and whispered " that's what I thought."

Rolling over he just stared at me.

" god Ange I've missed you" he said softly.

" I've missed you too" I said softly.

He looked at his watch.

" probably time for me to go" he said with a sigh, "let me know when Ana says anything"

Then he softly kissed my lips , I tried pulling him back down but he pulled away with a slight laugh. " later angel. Later". Then he got up and put on his mask after taking another look at me.

It was already nearing 8 am. And I knew... my phone beeped.

" post mission follow up 9 am" said the text from Winston.

When the meeting arrived I walked into the room , jack and Genji already present. We would be the only ones needed since the rest of the team failed to witness it.

I took my seat and listened as jack and Genji explained their side. But I kept replaying the kids dying in my head. When it was my turn I could hardly focus. I explained the lack of answers we received. But that the kid was about to speak when I heard Genji yell at me to get down...

Winston nodded and explained that while the mission was a success in some ways it failed in others. I knew I failed, I could have spoken faster. Or moved one kid from the others, we could have made sure they would be covered from incoming attacks. But nothing could be done now. On the good side we had a bastion unit now. Torbjorn was working on oiling him. And Winston had a code in works to understand it better. We were dismissed.

I went to go look for Ana. I needed to remain calm... focused. I knocked on Ana's door and she answered.

" hello my dear" said Ana pulling me into a hug, then returning to her small table and sipping her tea.

Ana motioned for me to sit and I did.

" so I talked to him. And we both want to meet him. So whenever is okay we will" I noticed my hand shaking.

" okay, i'll update winston. But this is the most ideal course of action. You two will take a small jet. Lena might pilot it. Or we could have a set course in mind for it. But that could be tricky. I do know jack has the capability of flying in emergencies. He's just. Not very good" she said with a slight laugh.

" however, In the next 48 hours Meera does need to move. Originally we though they were just after Fareeha, but the problem is. John hasn't been outside in weeks. He's too noticeable, I mean he looks like just the two of you. With the growing threat of talon we do worry about our families. So... I will speak with Winston about giving you two some time to collect John and Meera and move them to a closer location. That way we can all keep better watch" she said then sipped her tea.

" Ana... how?"

" I have had a lot of time to come up with this plan. It's something we used to do when Fareeha was young, so this is just another day. The problem is that Fareeha had UN protection. Now we have nothing but each other, so we must look after each other. I'll even request that we all remain on call if something goes wrong" said Ana.

She really was the right choice to entrust our son with.

" Ana I cannot possibly thank you enough " I could feel tears running down my face, and she embraced me.

" Ana. You don't think it's too soon to be putting all of this on him?" I asked. Even I was surprised i asked this outloud as it had been in the back of my thoughts.

She pulled out of the hug and softly smiled. " my dear. As we have all learned one day we could be here and the next we could be gone. I think it's the right thing to do".

" thank you" I said.

" I will talk to Winston immediately" said Ana. We both got up and left. And I went looking for jack. I should be working on more nanotech. But it's about time I focused on what could have been but still can be.

A sound came from the corner of the room, i didn't notice Fareeha was in here the whole time.

"i wanted to apologize... i was out of line yelling at you like that" she said carefully.

I nodded "i understand" i said softly, i didn't want to go through with another debate.

" he really is a good kid, i just... i get upset and i focus that anger on one thing, and it just so happened to be you"

"it's fine, i really understand" i said shuffling my feet slightly "i should go" i muttered.

I walked outside and noticed him running. I climbed onto the roof and decided to do some mild stress smoking, and watch him. I truly cannot believe the amount of progress he has made... but at the same time small things could make him decline... normally ptsd makes you shy away from any form of intimacy, which is why him sleeping next to me is a bit off, however. It could explain besides the obvious screaming issue I have. That any form past what we are doing is off the table. But I'm rushing things, and I don't want to push him into anything. The issue is, if I hold back he will know immediately and start building his walls again. I exhaled a larger cloud of smoke than I expected, and tried to relax some more. The best thing is to try to restore some form of normalcy to him. If it's through cuddling and treating him the same , just with a more cautious approach that is fine. I can deal with that. However the idea of meeting our son in a few hours was also weighing on me. I lit another, what if he doesn't like me. He will love jack. He's just like captain America. Probably a bit more like Bucky right now. But still. I'm the one who gave birth. Who carried him for months and yet. I don't know how he will react. Probably frightened. All this moving so young cannot be good for him, but it's not like there are any other options. It's not that I regret... I just. The timing. Everything in my life has been timing off. Nothing seems to ever go as it should, the child of this kind of life as well, and losing my parents so young i cannot help but wonder if appearing and disappearing would be good for him... I noticed he noticed me. And was coming over. I inhaled and tried to finish before he could reach me but fuck. He is always so fast. I heard him climbing the ladder.

"Hey" he softly said. I shielded my eyes from the sun in his direction and he sat next to me. I took a last drag and flicked the cigarette. I wanted to curl into him and tell him the news. But who knows who would come out.

" I spoke to Ana, and she is currently speaking to Winston. Apparently we would take one of the smaller jets and autopilot it out to them, pick them up and move them to a new location since they are apparently being watched" I sighed. My eyes glanced around.

" okay" he answered.

" and that's about where everything stands. Well that and it will need to happen within the next 48 hours or less".

I could hear him take a sharp inhale.

" I know... I'm nervous too. But at least you have a logical excuse for not being there" I said.

He nodded and got up and paced.

This is when my worry started again. Would the pacing be enough to help calm him down... or was this the beginning of a panic attack.

" we can go inside and be in private for a bit. While we wait to hear what's going on" I suggested. It was really the only good idea I could think of.

He nodded,we went into my room. He carefully removed his mask and I sat on the bed. Sure I had chairs but honestly the bed was more comfortable. He just paced some more and I rolled onto my back staring at the ceiling. Something in this uncomfortableness felt strangely comfortable.

"so Fareeha apologized to me" i said trying to break up the silence.

" that's good, you didn't deserve that, hell i did the same thing to you, and you didn't deserve that either"

"Jack it's fine.." i mumbled.

" what if he doesn't like me ?" He asked.

" hum. He will love you, captain America" I said.

He looked at me and slightly frowned.

" what? It's his favorite apparently. I really don't know too much about him..."

" more than me" he said gruffly.

I looked down and felt my face twitching into sadness

" fuck. Ange I'm sorry that wasn't fair to you "

" no... it wasn't. I don't know like anything about him. And I'm worried about him and..." I stopped myself.

" I'll be fine. If anything this is good for me... "

I looked at him skeptically.

" if I've told you anything recently, please don't treat me like I'm fragile" he said his voice shaking slightly.

" you aren't. If anything you have been making great improvements and I'm very impressed. "

" thanks doc. Now what does Angela think?" He said. He looked slightly annoyed with me.

" sorry. Force of habit. I'm not used to having people around me that aren't patients" I admitted. Which was true. Besides Genji for the past few years I've dealt with patients constantly. Never really developing anything more than a professional relationship. The other doctors I never really befriended as I had wished. Closeness hurt. Everything hurt back then.

He grunted and walked over to me and gently stroked my cheek.

" I'm sorry I'm on edge" his voice had a slight shake and he sat down next to me.

I put my head on his shoulder and sighed.

" honestly. I don't know how you are doing so well, I feel like I'm breaking apart. " if he didn't want me to treat him delicately then I would just come out and say that , but guilt ate me after the words came out.

He stroked my hair.

" years of practice" he said into my ear. His warm breath tickling my neck. " plus I had to constantly have the appearance of being strong despite how I truly felt. I mean I had to hide being with you for years from basically everyone as well" he kissed my neck. " and that ... was no easy feat either"

" hush, you were allowed emotion. At the properly allowed times of night. Sometimes. " I said teasingly.

I kissed his nose and he flinched.

" I'm sorry..." I said.

He looked panicked.

" what if he is scared of my face ?" He asked. His voice tightening.

" why. Why would he be scared of your face?" Then my heart sank. I'm such an idiot. But I was so happy to have him alive that I never really processed the long scar running down his face. Honestly I didn't mind it or notice it. But it wasn't on my face. He covered his face in his hands.

" jack. He won't be scared of your face" I gently rubbed his shoulders but he flinched again.

" jack... you are a fighter. You are the best I have ever seen. All soldiers have scars" I said as I gently tried to touch him again.

" Ange. It's so hideous. "

" actually. I find it rather hot if I am allowed to say that. " I said.

He slowly removed his hands.

" have you completely lost your mind?"

" not in the slightest. You aren't hideous, you never could be. "

He half smiled.

" it's this whole, chicks dig guys with scars. If it really bugs you though I can fix it. But I would encourage you not too" I said

He stroked my face and pulled me into a kiss.

" are you sure it doesn't scare you?" He asked when he pulled away. His eyes looking right into mine.

" not in the slightest" as I leaned my head on his shoulder.

He relaxed a little bit, and just held my hand.

Truly I'm thrilled that situation didn't escalate into him completely hating on himself. The scar was extremely attractive, it added a new angle to his perfect face. Sounds weird but truly he was and will always be attractive. But I also was completely in love with him, everything about him.

" when do you think we will know?"

" soon I think. Ana works fast" I kissed his cheek gently.

He slightly smiled at me and laid down. I joined him. Throwing a leg on top of his and pulling myself into his side. One thing I will say about new overwatch is nice is the lack of constant going. Moving under the radar was tough. But we picked and chose our own battles. And getting this sort of downtime was wonderful. As much as I wanted to be our healing everyone I could, I knew I had limits. Rarely did I think I had limits. But I need time to work and to heal.

He was slowly stroking my shoulder. I kissed his neck and sighed. I could easily take a nap like this. A slight buzz came from the corner of the room and we sat upright.

I got up and checked my phone.

" we need to head to Winston's room" I said. My hands were shaking and jack picked up his mask and walked over to me and gently kissed me.

" Angel I ..." he said softly.

" we can do this" i said as I kissed him holding his hand for a few moments. Then we opened the door. Hands falling to our sides while walking out and heading to Winston's room.

Jack knocked on the door and we were told to enter,Jack hesitated and I motioned for him.

Ana and Winston motioned at us to sit. He was in his tire slowly swinging.

" it appears you two will be leaving in a few hours. For Egypt. If you want Lena can join you but if not she can remotely pilot it if things go wrong. 76 I'm not sure how briefed you are on this situation. But I trust you will take care of our Angela and her friends. " he said sternly.

" I have been informed" said jack strongly.

" I will have the team prepped and ready to go just in case as well. The flight won't take as long as you would expect. The new safe house is only a short distance from us. Absolute secrecy is a must. I'm already against this in many ways. But it seems this was an idea made by Angela and Ana. I want the jet to be well prepared. So I will let you two go prepare " he added.

Jack got up first and I followed after, Ana was close behind me after exiting his room.

" if anything goes bad you must, contact us. " she said softly. I nodded.

I hugged her and walked off to grab my Medical supplies. Technically since we had a few hours I could give him his medication and he could nap it off quickly. I rushed over to him and lightly touched his arm, he responded with a flinch. Idiot. You cannot just grab him, no matter how light.

" sorry. Uhh I wanted to ask you something. Since we have four hours did you want your shot? Then you can like nap it off quick or whichever. I have to prep my medical supplies since this jet is tiny" I hurriedly said.

He sighed as we stood in his doorway.

" I'd rather be unmedicated for this" He said sadly.

" it hasn't been long that you have been on this... Withdrawal however can already develop. So would you rather be using medication that clears your mind. Or be pissed off and stressed?"

"You are right"

" well I will go get it and meet you back here"

" I just have to load up some weaponry " he sighed.

" okay just uh? Child proof it? Or put it someone a kid couldn't get it" I said questioning myself.

" that's a good point..." he nodded and walked off. I went over to the lab and mixed his medication. The progress is good. This was going to be okay. Everything was going to be okay. Until it's not...I heavily sighed and packed up my spare field medical kits. Including some spare nano shots. Just in case. And headed over to the little jet. Lena was happily getting it ready. Whizzing in and out of it, as I carefully stored away my medical gear.

" oh love! Heard about you going off with 76" she winked.

"What do you mean? It's a solo mission "

" oh but I thought"

" yeah he's coming with me but only because I cannot go alone" I tried to sound convincing.

" mhmm you could've picked any of us" said Lena sounded slightly hurt.

" naw it was Ana's idea" I said loading my things inside.

" whatever you say. Just if you get time...oh oops! Hey 76!"

I had a solid blush on my face.

"Hey" he said. He started looking at where to put the stuff that would be safe from small hands.

" I was just saying that " Lena started and I punched her in the arm softly.

" ow. I was just going to say do you know how to fly in emergencies, Ana said you could. But I can always be on call for Assistance" said Lena lightly patting the pilot seat.

" well loves. Take care if I don't see you before you go. She's all fueled and ready"

I thanked her and eyed jack.

" do you think this will be safe enough?" He asked pointing to where he stored the weapons.

" I think it will be fine " I said " now if you are ready I'll inject you. And I can finish what I need to do and we can leave" I added.

" sounds fine" he said gruffly.

Soon we were in my room and I was injecting him.

"Are you alright?" He noticed my hands were shaking.

" I just... ugh. " I flopped face first onto the bed after disposing of the needle.

He slightly laughed. Removed his mask and joined me face first.

" you do realize how absolutely ridiculous you look" he said into the bed.

" speak for yourself, now rest. The tiredness after injection shouldn't last long now that your body is growing accustomed to it " I said into the bed as well.

He grunted and rolled onto his back slowly, i could see him twitch a little before passing out.

I got up and began rifling through my drawers for something less Morticia Addams. Granted. We would be wearing body armor under anything. So humph. I recolored my roots in a quick fashion. Sticking with the jet black. Not ideal but eh. Twisting my hair into a ponytail I heard jack waking up.

I was wearing something more comfortable for the time being. Even though the flight would be short I still needed to be comfortable.

He stretched slightly and asked if it was time to go.

" eh we still have like an hour but I don't think heading over early to scout it out would be a bad thing..."

He nodded and walked over to me,Gently kissing my lips and stroking my neck.

" I'm so nervous" I admitted.

On that note I grabbed some remaining items and we headed to Winston to inform him of us leaving. He wished us well and told me good luck.

We got onto the jet and jack started it up...

 **A/N : I feel like adding more would be too much. So I'm leaving it at there. I didn't really want a cheese closing line because I'm rather notorious for those. Whoops! Anyways thanks for reading as always. I will probably put up the next chapter in a day or so, because i feel really mean for having a ridiculously long break in between the two... and i mean it's already written.**

 **I hope you are all as excited as i am!**

 **I wanted to once again thank all of you so much, i try to personally message my comment makers because you all are my inspiration! and thank you!**

 **Sword Theory, i cannot pm you, but your comments are always so sweet and give me such joy! and thank you so much for thinking my portrayal of them is good! that means so much to me, i'm trying so hard to keep it as realistic to their issues as possible, so your comment really encouraged me in the right direction!**

 **GOWbairdSam, you rock, seriously! and PsYchRoxx! i apologize if i missed anyone, because just know... i know i'm sounding so repetitive, you all rock... thank you thank you**


	29. Chapter 29

Jack had removed his mask once we were in the air and came over to sit near me. It was much smaller in here and we just sat in anxious silence.

" I don't know what to say... or do... or" he started to say after a bit.

" neither do I actually. I guess we just. Stand there and smile?"

" I'm not in the mood to joke"

" I was being serious actually. I haven't the slightest idea, introduce ourselves? I mean. I don't even know if he really knows all that much about us. But he is four so hopefully he will be alright with us." I said softly into his shoulder.

" i cannot believe we have a kid... it's..." he started to say.

"yeah, i know

He stroked my hair " did you re dye it?" He asked with half a smile.

" yeah didn't have time to try and go back. I know it looks weird" I said, slightly embarrassed.

" it looks good on you. Actually anything looks good on you, i mean, i miss it how it was" he said "but at the same time i understand why it's different"

"ugh, i'll change it back, it's not like it matters anymore since i have a group to protect me now.." i sighed, if this is what he wants to talk about fine..better than focusing on the anxiety.

"Ange... your hair looks fine"

i frowned and grunted. It had been years since i had been platinum... fuck. Am i scared of being who i am.

"You have your worried face on..." he said stroking my shoulders.

"i just, ugh. I just. i hate like.. i hate what happened, and i just want to be someone else... okay? " brutal honesty, not in entirety tumbling out... fuck. just before we meet our son and i'm having a conversation i didn't want to have with anyone other than myself. Perfect.

He just nodded, looking slightly distant and gently rubbed my back.

"i'm sorry angel" he said after some silence.

"that's just how it is i guess" i mumbled.

There's more important things to think about besides my mental health at this moment.

"you know i love you darling" he said softly, his body slightly shaking as he traced my face with his hand.

"i love you too... are you okay?" i looked into his clear blue eyes, and he looked down.

"i'm just... i have you back in my life and now... i mean"

"You've always had me" i kissed his cheek, "we just didn't have our son, but now we will"

Suddenly a sound bursted from my bag.

" schiesse " I yelped.

" what's. "

" Meera has an emergency button. Winston has one too. " my voice cracked as I fumbled with my phone. But a voice came over the ship.

" Angela. Meera sent out the distress call. Patching her in" said Winston.

" we are running. I'm going to drop him somewhere to hide the trail. I don't want them to get us. " screamed Meera.

Jack was shaking and I shook.

No no no. We are so close now.

" Meera we are within ten minutes of the safe house. Where are you?"

She sent over the coordinates. It was near where we were supposed to land. I was panicking so much.

" we will be on our way soon. Try to stay put" I said.

Jack was eyeing the map.

" get to the under area. It's right near where you are. There are cliffs you can hide in. We are almost there. " he said.

" backup will be there soon. I'll get the team. Lena will boost the flight. But it won't be for about an hour" said Winston.

" how many are following you?" Asked jack.

" only five. But I fear their numbers are growing. " said Meera. Her voice more hushed and she was shushing a small crying voice.

Our child. Jack gripped my hand tightly and headed to the cockpit. Pulling up the map and pushing himself to control the craft.

" put Lena on " he barked.

Her voice came over the comm. you could hear her scrambling in her own ship. Getting it ready. The teams arguing heard in the background.

I grabbed my pistol and started loading it. I removed my dress and switched to my leggings and tshirt. Slipping into my suit.

Jack reached back for his mask and attached it to his face.

This wasn't how this was supposed to go.

" my gods " breathed Meera.

" we are almost there. Please hang on. I'll try to fire at them from above. Just stay put" ordered jack.

" I see them. Meera. Stay where you are. They haven't located you yet" said jack, I could detect a slight shake in his voice.

We both stared at the map. Watching the heat signatures. His hand gripped mine.

" almost there" he whispered to me.

" Try to grab them and get out. Get out. " said Winston.

" Meera. We are almost on top of the cave. When I say run out. Run. We will get you. Do you understand ?" Said jack.

I was pacing. And tying my hair up with shaky hands. I put everyone at risk. I cannot face Ana if anything happens. And if anything happens to John ... fuck.

" understood" said Meera.

" Angela, this can hover. We will let it hover above. I'm going to run down and grab them"

" no. You have better aim. Let me run and grab them. You shoot " I said forcefully. Sending him alone would be dangerous. I don't know how he didn't see that.

" we are thirty minutes out" said Winston.

My heart was pounding.

" alright we are approaching the caves now" said jack.

I slid the pistol and blaster into my holsters. No matter the outcome. No matter how many people I had to kill I was doing the right thing.

I took a deep inhale as jack picked up his pulse gun. I slightly leaned into him for a moment.

" it's going to be okay " he said but I could hear the uncertainty in his voice.

He flipped off his comm for a moment.

" no matter what. I love you. Get our son " he said softly. Then turned his comm back on. As I blinked back tears.

" Meera. Run" he said firmly. As we opened the doors. The jet was set into hover. And we climbed down the rope. We raced to the edge of the cliffs. The visor was on.

I heard footsteps. We looked down and spotted her. My heart swelled for a moment. I crawled the to edge of the cliff and held out my arms for the bag she was carrying, it looked child sized, smart... Meera passed up the bundle, it wiggled in my arms.

"shh you are okay" i murmured, i gently shielded him under my body as i reached out to help Meera if she needed a hand. Her hand grabbed mine and i pulled, we fell into a bundle and quickly stood up. Meera re-attached John to her body. As i walked like a shield in-front of her and we raced back to the small craft.

Meera was already climbing the ladder into it. I saw them make it on board. As jack groaned in pain.

" Angela get on the jet" he said. His voice sounded strained. I felt a bullet go into my left shoulder. I whipped around.

" behind you! " I screamed. Pointing the blaster at a shooter, I inhaled and pulled the trigger, the shot landed, I fired another. Jack was slightly limping and firing, he let off some helix rockets and explosions echoed through the cliffs.

" fuck. Winston. How far out are you? " he asked.

" 20 maybe less if we can make it go faster" said Winston.

Pain was searing but I knew it would go away quickly.

I pulled my caduceus from my back and healed jack.

We ran to the jet. " you first " I said. He hesitated slightly.

"you are injured, get up soldier" i screamed. He climbed quickly as i fired off some rounds.

" come on" he shouted. I climbed up. Trying not to use my shoulder as much. Once we were on board jack pulled it out of hovering and we flew to some nearby cliffs. I was working on the wound on his leg.

A peircing noise echoed in my comm. I grabbed my ears and crumpled for a moment.

"Angela?!" shouted Jack, why wasn't he hearing this?

The noise continued, then silence, a female voice echoed into my skull.

"Little bird, little bird" it taunted. i froze, tears forming into my eyes, only one person called me that, only one... why was the voice female?

"Angela!" jack shouted again shaking me slightly.

The comm went silent, and i looked at him startled. He hadn't heard...

"focus on them" i gasped out. I couldn't tell him at this exact moment, we had more important things at stake, than dealing with a ghost.

" we need you two to hide in the back. There is a compartment. Get In there. We are waiting for backup. Normally we would get out of here but we don't want to be followed back. " said jack calmly.

His leg looked okay. The bullet luckily missed anything important. But it still needed to come out. He twitched in pain as the flyer jerked around a bit, as i worked.

"Angel.. what happened?" he asked softly.

"little bird" i said softly.

"Christ" he uttered.

I pulled out the bullet and showed it to him. Sniper rounds... there would be more out there.

A small voice came from the back

" are they my parents?"

Jack exhaled sharply. And I looked up from jacks leg. Tears forming.

" shhhh we need to hide okay!? We know how good you are at hiding. We will meet everyone later little one" said meera. Pulling him back into the hiding spot In the back.

" scheisse" I utter. ( shit).

" Winston. I can see more appearing on the map. Should we continue into hiding, need a plan here" said jack. Usually jack had plans. I thought we had a plan.

" we will be arriving soon. I want you to try and get out of there. " said Winston.

Lena was shouting in the background.

" loves. I see some crafts in the sky heading your way. So. Yah might wanna get outta there now, I can get this thing there to you soon" she said over the comm

" affirmative" said jack. Turning off the comm mic.

" Ange. I honestly cannot think straight right now... they are coming for you specifically... i don't think they even know of him... ".

Scheisse. Scheisse.

" it's alright. Just. Get us away okay? The team can handle the rest and we will figure this out okay. Just breathe. " I said softly.

I held his hand, and with my free hand I put a bandage over the wound.

" Ange... were you shot?" He asked his voice full of concern.

" oh yeah. I guess I was. " I said. " oh well I'm fine, just a scratch " I was lying. But I already felt the bullet fall out of me. I still wasn't ready to admit my studies of stronger tech on my self. But the suit helps heal me too.

Jacks flying was a bit choppy as we landed a bit away from the attack and rescue.

" Winston we have landed " said Jack as he stated the coordinates but we knew he could see it.

I had my blaster readied. And jack pulled up his rifle.

We could hear sounds of aircrafts flying above us.

" Winston there's some above us, I don't believe they see us, but we are going to need that plan right about now" I said into my comm.

I knew jack needed a moment. Which is something new to get used too. But what else could i do for the time being?

Jack held my hand tightly. It was shaking so hard.

Had this entire mission been a failure? Was the choice to bring him along wrong? I could have taken Lena and Jesse.

No, that would have hurt him more. Is it wrong to be thinking this way? I'm just worried about his mental health and he just wants to help and be treated normally.

" we have arrived. Ana is attempting to snipe down some jets, stay put until we have a clearer picture of what is going on" said Winston. Shooting could be heard in the background.

" hey Meera. Sit tight. We need you two to stay back there" I called out.

" affirmative" came her muffled voice.

Jack fiddled with some buttons and found the cloaking device on the jet. So that would help a bit more and bide some more time for us

I switched off my mic and motioned for him to do the same.

He did and arched an eyebrow.

" I might have a plan" I said.

" I'm listening" he said.

" what if. Once they land or take down some of them. We get Meera and John into their jet. And use ours as a distraction. If they really do want me. Then it will take focus off of them. But on ours we can have McCree and Torbjorn. To like. Help with fighting them off?"

He sighed heavily. " Angela. I don't want to risk you"

" you won't be. I'm letting myself be bait, but I trust all of you it will be okay, it will be only a slight distraction. Not any risk involved "

" there is always risk with human bait..you especially. i'm not going to have you die before meeting our son, and i'm not having the mother of my son dying because of this" his voice shook as he said that. I felt guilty. But I couldn't see another way.

" then lets think of another plan " I said softly.

He slightly growled. And rubbed his temples.

" they might just want to hurt you in other ways" he said his voice was lowered.

" darling. I don't want anything happening to either of us. But especially him and Meera. And this is my only plan I have. Besides just reigning open fire on them"

" that's better"

" I don't want to kill them all I just want them off of us"

" this is war Angela. This isn't some sort of avoidance where no one gets hurt. Someone always gets hurt and I will not let it be you, they want to kill you, or something worse. If... if he's there... he wants you, he still wants you, and i don't want to think of what he could do to you!" he was almost shouting.

I carefully backed away and stared out the window. You could see smoke in the distance. Gunfire.

He gently reached out a hand to hold mine " I'm sorry. I'm just "

" it's really okay. We are both stressed out, let's just see if Winston has a plan then. Okay?" I gently stroked his hand. He squeezed my hand and I slightly smiled.

"i should have finished the job when i had the chance... but you." he started to say.

That sinking feeling came back, i still don't remember that day... i know i must have done something to bring him back, but it's all so foggy...

We turned back on our mics as Winston had been quiet for a while. Despite turning off our mics we could still hear.

" Winston update" asked jack.

Nothing.

" are our comms still working?" I asked.

" Winston?" Asked jack.

" sorry. Corralling them away from you. I'll let you know when to head back. Just. Stay low stay down. We think they are retreating. " said Winston.

We let out a collective sigh. I rested my head on jacks shoulder. He gently stroked my hair. We were still armed and ready. But at least comfortable while ready. This happened many times before on many a mission. Our team would sometimes get trapped and we would have to wait for the other groups to get it cleared enough so we weren't ambushed completely.

The feedback into my comm happened again, and i tried to not let it affect me, but i was shaking, i was different back then, i always could see the good in people, always. Now i couldn't. Some people are bad, beyond repair and Reyes... he was horrible. What he did to me in those last few months before everything should have given me the reason not to help him... but somehow i did.

"Didn't want to play?" came the female voice again into my comm.

I ripped it off and destroyed it.

"they could be tracking us..." i whispered.

"What did he say?" asked Jack.

"She... uh. asked if i didn't want to play" i said softly. He gripped my hand.

"Nothing will happen to you two... you got that? nothing" said Jack firmly. " anyways, you should update Meera, i mean, obviously not about any of that.. but about us leaving"

I kissed his forehead. " I'll let Meera know". I walked. Back and talked to the door softly, explaining the situation. As she agreed to remain put. It broke my heart a little at how quiet he was being. I think this might have been his life so far, hiding and secrecy.

I walked back to Jack, he was inputting some stuff into the jet.

" alright loves. I sent over the codes for 76. Get out now" said Lena

" ready?" Asked jack. I nodded. As the jet soared up. It wouldn't go as fast as theirs but we had a head start.

" I guess they should stay back there for the time being?" I asked.

" probably for the best just in case" he said. I eyed the maps. No more indications of hostiles in the area.

I relaxed a little. But who was she? that voice sounded slightly familiar... like something i heard on the news or something...

"Winston, i'm patching you into the main system, we had some issues with An-Mercy's comm" Said Jack, he flipped a few buttons and sat back, still holding my hand in between movements.

"Affirmative, the plan is to bring them back to our base. We will have a room for them. Or whatever you want" said Winston softly.

" sounds like a plan" I replied.

" this isn't how this was supposed to go at all" I muttered.

He just nodded.

We sat in silence watching the map, for at least twenty minutes.

" we are behind you. Well. Not behind behind. But we are leaving the area" said Lena.

"Looks like clear skies" said Winston.

I wanted to know if we could let them out of hiding for the time being.

" do you think it would be safe for them to come out?" I asked into the internal comm

" I think it should be fine" said Ana into the comm. I guess we were just connected to Ana, Winston and Lena.

" thank you " I said softly turning off the main mic.

" you ready?" I asked him.

He removed his mask, and pulled me into a kiss.

" no. But I can try".

I walked back. " if you want to come out it should be okay" I said into the locked room.

The door slowly opened,Meera was holding him in her arms. He was half asleep but his eyes popped open when he saw the inside of the cock pit. It was good to actually see him, instead of in the carrier Meera had.

" down down!" He begged. Running over to jack.

I half smiled at Meera and pulled her into a hug.

" I'm so sorry"

" me too"she replied.

John was staring up at jack as he was sitting behind the controls.

" John don't touch anything" said Meera

" I won't" he replied. His voice was beautiful. He was perfect. Little mini Jack with my softer features. His hair was slightly shaggy and he was wearing a captain America shirt and shorts. Staring at jack in awe.

Tears formed a bit in my eyes.

" does he know who we are?" I whispered to Meera.

" didn't you hear his question earlier?" She replied with a slight wink. She gave me a gentle push and we walked up together.

" are you a pilot too?" Asked John.

" not really. I can be if needed " you could hear the slightest shake of sadness and amusement in his voice.

" but you are flying. I see you flying" said John.

" well yeah. I'm a pilot then" said jack. He had a sad smile on.

" show me! Please please please please " he was slightly jumping.

" okay I'll do my best " said Jack as he pointed out the basic controls.

I walked up behind them and sat back in my seat.

John fidgeted as he listened to jack explaining stuff.

Meera sat down on the couch, and observed us. I felt slightly out of place,I'm just his mother. Jack is the real hero.

Jack looked over at me and smiled.

" skies are still clear" said Ana over the comms.

" oh! Oh! Aunt Ana! Aunt Ana! " he shouted.

" she can't hear you right now. We can only hear her" explained jack.

" oh... can I say hi?" He asked.

" you will see her once we land" said Meera.

" when?" He asked.

" soon" said jack.

" how soon?"

" like twenty minutes or so" I said.

He looked at me startled.

" didn't mean to scare you" I said softly.

He grabbed jacks arm.

" hey. Hey hey. Are you. Are you. " he was saying while slightly jumping.

He fidgeted more and twisted his hands on his shirt.

" I know who you are" he said excitedly.

" yeah?" Asked jack, he seemed so nervous.

" are you my parents ?" He blurted out. His mouth going through a range of emotions.

Jack inhaled sharply and his eyes closed. He looked panicked, I reached out for his hand and he squeezed it.

" we" he started. His voice shaking. And I stroked his hand. Jack looked at him and at me. His eyes misty.

" yes" he said after a minute. John grabbed our hands.

" my dad is captain America" he shouted. His little hand around ours felt so wonderfully natural. And jack leaned down and hugged him. John climbed into his lap.

I giggled slightly.

" yeah he really is" I said my mouth was pulled into a large smile.

" I need help landing this thing. You want to help?" Asked jack he had a wide grin as well.

" really?!" Screeched John. Jack winced and nodded.

Jack held his hands and put them over the controls. Guiding him through the landing controls. My heart was so happy. This day was stressful but amazing at the same time. The landing was bumpy but John was smiling and giggling happily.

Meera yawned and stretched.

" hey John. I gotta do something real quick " said jack. He put on his comm.

" we have arrived safely" said jack into the comm.

" excellent news" said Winston. " we will be back in the next half hour. Go ahead and put them in the spare room, we can discuss what will be said to the team later. Post meeting will happen about an hour after we return "

" I would love to lie down" said meera " and someone will need a nap" as she eyed John.

" noooooooooooooo" bawled John. Huge tears forming in his eyes.

" I take naps" said Jack with a smile.

" it's true. He does and I do, naps are good for you" I said softly. With a smile at both of them.

" nap with me?" He asked cheering up.

" uhmmm" I started.

Jack nodded " we just have some things to do first. "

We collected our gear and started walking into the actual base. John grabbed our hands and walked in between us. This could have been us for years. This. Could. Have. Been.

Tears started rolling silently down my face.

" why are you crying ?" Asked John.

" i'm happy" I said softly.

" you always cry when you are happy?" he asked swinging our arms harder.

"Yeah, your mother will cry at anything" teased Jack.

"That's not fair!" i said with a slight laugh.

We took John and Meera to the spare room.

" we have to go for a little bit. But we will be back. " said jack.

" promise?"

" promise" we said in unison. Leaving the room. As the door closed jack grabbed me into a hug and kissed my forehead.

We walked back to the ship with his arms around me. As we packed up the rest of our gear and brought it inside.

We stopped for a moment.

"Angela, you know we will need to mention your comm to Winston"

"i know, but could it maybe just... wait" i didn't want to be tied in meetings all night talking about a ghost.

"what if you mention it as something to be discussed later... Winston can start researching..."

"that sounds ideal"

He nodded and kissed my cheek before heading to the armory while i headed to my room to change. I needed to asses the damages. Jack walked in as I peeled off my armor. Two bullet casings fell onto the ground.

" Angel, I asked if you got hurt" he said softly. Walking over and kissing my bare shoulder. I was in my tank and leggings.

" I said I was fine. I am fine. The shells must have just fallen into my gear. " I hated lying. But it was easier than explaining the years I had been spending on creating a body unable to age or break. Which violated multiple doctor codes.

He spun me around and gently kissed me.

" thank you. " he said softly.

" for what?"

He gently touched my stomach, running his hands over me.

" for John"

" hum. You may have had a hand in that" I teased softly. His hand cupped my chin and he pulled me into another kiss.

" we should probably figure out what to tell the team" I said in between kisses.

" I'm not ready yet"

" that's fine, they will obviously know who the parents are though. I mean. He's a mini you"

" I mean. I'm not ready to say who I am"

" I know. That's fine" I kissed him again.

He carefully put his mask back on. We knew the team would be back any minute and in the next hour explanations would have to be made.

 **A/N: i hope this chapter is okay. I once again let myself edit it a bit too much, but i still have the originals saved... however i think i'll let it remain how it is. I wanted to once again thank everyone for reading and reviewing this fic, it does mean a lot to me.**

 **I'm sorry i didn't post this sooner, i really really meant to have it up within a few hours of the last chapter but my second guessing caused me to just edit and edit. Also. I know Angela says "Scheisse" a lot in this chapter, i mean... given the situation i would be saying "shit" a lot too, plus scheisse rolls off the tongue faster than shit does. Tangent. i just went on one.**

 **Also i wanted to address potential smut, you can PM me about it if you want, i won't judge if it's a yes or no, but is that something you want in this story? or would you rather have it alluded to?**


	30. Chapter 30

We walked hand in hand back to where Meera and John were staying. Jack knocked on the door and Meera peeked out.

" he won't nap without you now" she said with a curve of annoyance in her voice, but the smile said sarcasm.

" the team should be back any minute if you want to greet them. We can handle the nap I think" I said.

She nodded and opened the door and left.

Jack and I walked into the room, and he took off his mask.

" oh what's that?" Asked John.

" I'll tell you if you take your nap " said jack. John frowned and climbed into the bed. We each sat on either side. It felt slightly weird since this was our first time meeting our son. But it felt comfortable at the same time, John laid down.

" aren't you going to nap?" He asked

I laid down and so did jack. He immediately curled into jack and I curled into John. Creating a little pile of snuggling.

John kept twitching and moving. He grabbed onto some of my hair and yanked on it lightly.

" hey" I said

" why is your hair black?"

" It's because, i needed a change"

"Why?" he asked staring at me with his beautiful blue eyes

"That's a long story" i said arching an eyebrow.

"Story!" he shouted, wiggling in-between us.

"No, no story about my hair anyways" i laughed.

Jack smiled at me, his eyes filled with joy, the same eyes our son has.

" I can't sleep! I'm too excited" he kicked.

I stroked his hair and he touched jacks scar. Which caused him to flinch away.

" what's that" he asked.

" that is from being a hero" I said softly.

Jack closed his eyes tightly, i could sense some panic in his expression, .. Kids really have no tact for questions like that. Truly. I loved the scar. I loved everything about him and this...the scar meant he lived...

" captains didn't. Have a scar" said John twitching around and trying to touch it again.

" John don't. " I said softly. Pulling his hand away.

" I was just trying to heal it like you. " he said softly. His eyes watering.

" what? No. I don't heal like that. We like his scar"

" yes you do" said John.

What. I know kids say weird stuff but... what.

" look!" He shouted. As he scratched my arm.

" John ouch. No!" I said. Fuck. This will heal in minutes as he pointed at my wound.

" you heal, and i heal!" he said excitedly.

" John. We don't hurt people" said jack. He looked at me in confusion.

My brow must have shown frustration.

" look. See look. She heals. And I heal" said John. Pointing at the healed wound.

Jack looked at me, his eyebrows furrowed.

" must be from the suit. Sometimes the effects are still there"

" John. You need to rest now okay. We have to go to an important meeting soon. And if you don't nap now. Then you will have to nap alone" I said. What the hell was he talking about ? It must just be his imagination running wild. I sighed and curled into my guys. Johns head curled into jacks neck. My forehead lightly touching jack's. Sadness kept me awake, looking at Jack's peaceful smile. Since he returned i hadn't seen this look of contentment in years... Despite everything I did slip into a light sleep, even though i was being kicked by both of them, in their sleep.

Our phones buzzed after an hour. And Meera walked into the room softly.

As we woke up. Jack slid his mask back on and we both crept out of the room while Meera followed for a moment.

" the plan so far is that you two went in to rescue me. There is no kid here, and John and I will be at our new safe house tomorrow" said Meera. She gently patted my shoulder and walked back into the room.

" we need to talk alone after this" said Jack, he had a pained look in his eyes.

I was hoping it was just about the plan. And not about John's weird rambling.

I grabbed his hand for a moment and gently squeezed it.

He sighed and squeezed back before we walked into the meeting room our hands at our took seats next to each other and Lena eyed us looked pretty worn out.

" you might need to do a once over on McCree. He took light damage, everything seems fine with him from what I could do" said Ana.

I nodded,McCree had his hat tipped lower than usual, rather slumped in his chair.

" as you all know we had a tough mission today. I will try not to do last minute notices like that. But when family is threatened I hope you all know what is the right action is not the most planned " started Winston.

The group nodded slowly.

" however, we now know for certain that talon is after us. What they might pull in the coming weeks could be disastrous , we do know that one target is our families, and presumably now Angela... "

My face fell. I didn't want to hear this. I never wanted to hear this.

" you are currently pulled off duty and are to remain in the ship during missions. If we even take you. However leaving you back could also pose a threat. But this will be figured out as we learn more, i might be speaking hastily"

I leaned my elbows on the table and buried my hands in my hair.

" today proved our skill working together and I am very proud of each one of you, on that note. We will be moving our friend to the safe house. She will be nearby and we will need someone stationed there at all times. Fareeha has volunteered, which I am extremely grateful for, however i expect all of us to be in a state of awareness"

Fareeha shot a look in my direction, i could see sadness in her eyes.

" however. It might not be her they are after. It could be us and striking us where we are most vulnerable. So we will need you to train harder. 76 I trust you with our doctor. I didn't trust you before as much as I should and I am sorry. But today you proved this to me, alright. You are all dismissed. Get rest and we will discuss this more later "

The group got up and left. But Ana waited behind with us.

"Winston, Angela has something to discuss with you, but we were wondering if it could be investigated first before taking any drastic measures" said Jack.

"i assume this is why you went offline?" said Winston.

I nodded and took a deep breath in. "a female hacked into my comm, i assume none of you heard anything"

"i saw something come through but it was untraceable" said Winston. "i will look into it further and report back to you, did she say anything?"

"She said a phrase that only a certain someone would have said... "

"angela" said Ana her voice scolding me.

"It was something Gabe used to call me" i muttered.

"You do realize this changes things drastically" Said Ana sharply.

Winston removed his glasses for a moment, rubbing between his eyes, before putting them back on.

"For all we know, it could just be some rouge hacker trying to freak me out" i said, trying to look at other solutions.

"That is true, but why would someone do that?" said Winston.

"i made a lot of enemies back in the day..." i said trying to reason with myself. I mean we did make enemies, i was doctor death afterall...

"i will be taking this seriously, and looking into it, i think tomorrow needs another meeting" said Winston.

We got up to leave, as we walked out, Ana pulled us aside for a moment.

" I'm sorry how things went. But enjoy your night with him. " she said softly. You could tell it pained her to say those words.

Lena then appeared " hey when do ya think you will check on Jesse ? "

" hum. I can do that right now I guess " I glanced at jack and half shrugged. It shouldn't take long.

" just tell him to get to my office and I'll be there in a moment". She zipped off.

I turned to Jack and slightly frowned.

" okay I'll meet you in your room once you are done. Unless you want to go see him now? Which is fine. " I could feel frustrated. But I still had a job to do.

" I'll wait. " he said after a pause. " but if it's longer than an hour then I'll go alone "

" I'll let you know once I assess the situation, but you shouldn't miss out on the time we have with him..." I touched his hand quickly and walked off to my office. Jesse was already waiting and looking worse for wear.

" so what seems to be the issue?"

He took off his shirt and pointed to his back.

" there was some purple smoke and it choked me. Ana used some of her. What's it called. Potions on me. "

I nodded and looked at the mostly healed wound.

" breathe for me" I asked. His lungs sounded a bit different than usual.

I quickly messaged jack " yeah this could be a while. "

" okay I'm going to do a body scan. Then I will need you to breathe into this tube that will detect lung functioning"

Jesse looked tired and agitated but at least these tests would be easy.

I completed the scan and was waiting on the lung results.

" how soon after the smoke did Ana treat you?"

" she was with me. Well a few yards behind me, she shot me and I felt better"

" good to know" I typed in some things and stared at the tests.

" looks like someone attempted to poison you" with a substance luckily I have the treatment for since. Well. There's no denying this. I worked on this...well the treatment for it...anger swelled. Talon had taken specially designed poisons and probably built up immunities using my old files.

I sent the information over to Winston regarding " the mine" being used again.

" I just need to get the injection okay?"

" I reckon ill wait then. " said Jesse. Leaning back.

I walked into the lab and began sorting through my antidotes and vaccines. Some were missing. And making new batches would take a while. Stupid. How could I have forgotten to check something as important as vaccines and antidotes.

I began synthesizing the components and walked back to Jesse.

"This could take a bit. So I recommend you go rest. If your breathing feels weird come find me. You should be fine for now"

" thanks doc" he said as he left.

I sighed walking back to my lab. You get one night and I'm wasting it in the lab.

Lena bolted after me "is he here?" she asked excitedly, her voice trying to whisper.

I nodded, my jaw was firmly set in place.

"awww i'd love to see the little guy" she gushed.

"Probably not this visit, i have one night, and i need to work on this for the time being..." i muttered.

She nodded and patted my hair for a moment before frolicking off.

While I was waiting on this vaccine to work. For some reason I pulled down my notes on generic poisonings. My basic nano injections should protect them from the majority of these illnesses. However, sometimes there are minor side effects from the poisonings anyways. But since I was hired by overwatch I was allowed to create vaccines and antidotes for those without nanotech in their systems. Since I still wanted to save all humans and the like, and not just our team.

This really sucks though. But good for jack... At least he gets time with him and that's probably more important anyways. I twisted my hair up while pacing. I would need to mix the vials in a few by hand to check the coloring. Normally this would be fascinating but I'm exhaustively bored out of my mind right now. My phone buzzed a message from Winston : I will be in your lab momentarily.

Great more stuff to deal with. Wait... This was my life now, and we used to make it work, we just didn't have a kid back then. This is why we didn't have kids. We thought about it, we had been together secretly for years. But neither of us wanted to sacrifice lives so we could run off and live "happily ever after". Once we considered it... Then he was named strike commander and everything changed. I was so proud of him but I knew in that moment he wouldn't get out. He's a soldier. His recent revelations caused a stir inside of me, he had changed, i never knew that he would have left for us to start a family. Then again, we didn't talk much in his final months prior to the explosion. Now with my life being at stake thanks to ... ugh.

A knock on the glass had me turn. It was Winston. I motioned for him to come in and he entered.

" so you don't have the antidotes ready? I find that odd" said Winston.

" yeah well. I just noticed that I hadn't checked through my supplies you kept as well as I had hoped" I retorted.

He nodded and looked at me, i had no right to be angry with him, it's amazing how many things he managed to keep and organize...

" here's the thing. It's practically the same poison we had. But it's purple now. Or a more noticeable flashy purple. Which is weird. " I said

" It's unknown for talon to be flashy... or make sure their work is seen" said Winston.

" yes... so I'm just working on this antidote. Luckily it was Jesse with his iron lungs and not like...someone else... " I watched the synth work, and jotted down some notes.

" I'll have more prepared. It's unfortunate that we are going to need to carry these around again. But I'll make the injections tonight. I cannot do the pill form until later or someone makes a supply run, which is a problem because if they use this against civilians..."

" Angela. You developed the antidote years upon years ago. Back when Amelie... " his eyes misted up " anyways, Places have the medications. You don't need to worry" he said.

He was right. But I was worried that something in the formula had changed. I wouldn't know exactly on a nanotech human. But on human... I don't know.

" well... I wish you luck tonight " said Winston.

"Thank you. This is certainly not how I expected it to go" I said softly.

" well yes. But that shouldn't take too long right?"

I glanced at him and furrowed my brow.

" decently long. But that's what I do" I said.

" and that's why you are the best " said Winston as he left.

I sat back down in my chair watching the process take over of becoming an antidote. The vaccines I was making were doing fine as well. My phone buzzed.

"What did he do this time?" Asked jack regarding Jesse.

" the mine" I responded. As I watched the liquids seamlessly blend.

" it's back?"

" unfortunately " I typed back.

"are you black widow or Agent Carter?" a message read.

"What?"

"John was asking, Meera gave him crayons and he's drawing"

I smiled to myself, he was perfect... and the idea of Jack coloring with John was a beautiful mental image i wish i could see, my heart ached.

"you choose" i wrote back,before going back to work.

A few hours had passed and my phone buzzed again. It was getting really late and no one was free wandering the halls.

I will admit I almost fell asleep but luckily I asked Athena to monitor my vitals and buzz if I was starting to dose off.

I glanced at my phone. It was Jack again telling me not to look so grumpy. What the...

I turned and saw John smashing his face against the window at me. Jack was standing next to him. Ugh those faces, I went to the door.

" I wish I could let you in. Normally I could but ugh. " I whined.

" it's fine he just wanted to see what you were doing"

" are you. Do you make. "

" I make medicine and stuff to help people" I said softly. I leaned into jack a little. I was exhausted. Jack put his arm around me, rubbing my shoulder.

" I don't like medicine. I had some once"

" just once?" I asked. Stop. He's just a kid. Once could mean a million times. What are you so paranoid about ?

" yeah. I don't get sick, I'm strong like dad" he said wiggling around.

Jack picked him up and John wrapped his little arms around him. Don't get jealous. You have things to do. Don't be jealous.

" we should probably head back to the room little guy" said jack.

" noooooooo" he started to shout. Scheisse.

" hey hey. I'll walk back with you okay? Just give me a minute" I said darting back into my office before the timer went off. It should be done soon, it just needs to stand for a half hour without separating and it's good to go.

I removed the vials from the machine and stuck them in a row. Eyeing them. Everything seemed normal. I left the lab and walked with Jack and John. His little head resting on jacks shoulder. My heart was so happy and yet so sad. Sure we could visit at the new safe house. But how often? The risk of being followed would be too high.

John wrapped his hand around a strand of my hair, slightly tugging on it.

" ouch. We don't do that" I said softly as we arrived at the room.I gently kissed John's head.

" you be good. I'll be back soon. Okay?"

" okay" he said with a yawn. Great. I'll get to cuddle my sleeping kid. But not see him awake.

"mommy wait! i want to.. i want to show you somefing" he said. Oh goodness, he was so adorable...

He was already back in the room digging around in some papers, he happily pulled out a drawing and showed it to me, pointing as he spoke.

"This is you and me and Daddy!" he shouted happily while pointing at the drawing, Jack was captain, i was Peggy carter and there was him as a little captain america.

"That is beautiful!" i said softly, tears in my eyes.

"Mommy is crying again! did i do somefing wrong?" his little voice shook.

"No no! i love it my darling" i said hugging him gently. Jack rubbed my back and smiled. I kissed John's cheek.

"i have to leave for a little bit little one" i said sadly. He nodded and went back to the bed sadly. I walked towards the door with Jack.

" I'm sorry" he said with genuine concern and sadness.

" it's my job" I said as my eyes misted.

I kissed his masked cheek and walked away back to the lab.

The next hour flew by, I had the vaccine ready as well at the antidote. The vaccine was for some other poisons that frequently appear. But we were out. And it's important to have some.

I was finally done. I messaged messaged me and said to come to their room.I grabbed the shot and quickly walked to knocking and the door flew open.

" scheisse. I told him if he was doing worse to let me know" I said glancing at the pale cowboy.

" well. We knew it wouldn't take you long. " said Lena.

" this is stuff I need to know. Ugh scheisse scheisse" I assessed his vitals and gave him the rechecked him, everything was getting normalized again and I let out a sigh of relief.

" you will need to keep a better eye on him or he will stay in the medical bay. I'm serious you two. I'm very disappointed. "

They both shrugged and thanked me for helping. But I was annoyed.

" almost done. Just need to clean up. I smell like chemicals" I messaged jack.

No response. Probably already asleep. This day was a mess. I walked to my room and showered. Hearing my phone buzz about halfway through. I looked at it.

" thanks for the help with Jesse. He's looking more normal" from Lena.

Great. That was good but not who I wanted to hear from. I dried myself off and dried my hair. Braiding it up and back. I didn't want to annoy them or wake him if he finally got him to sleep. The feelings of loneliness was in my mind. Sinking into the bed I pulled out my phone and checked if I missed a message. Nope.

Sighing I rolled around in bed. was I getting too used to jack being here helping me sleep? Ughhhh I just want to see them.

It had been an hour since I messaged.

" sorry angel, lost track of time. He's half asleep but come here. " said a messaged from jack.

Finally. " on my way" I messaged.

I carefully crept down the hallway. The door cracked open and I walked in. Jack kissed my cheek and John stirred in bed.

He looked up and me and I smiled.

" hello darling" I said softly.

" hello, are you here now?" Asked John sleepily.

" yes I am done for the night. I'm all yours " I replied with a smile.

He held out his arms and I rushed into them.

He snuggled into me, and jack walked over wrapping his arms around both of us.

"what did you two do today? " i asked eyeing them. John wiggled around and smiled at us.

"Well! i colored, and fought monsters, and oh, we watched spiderman"

"Spiderman?" i said arching an eyebrow.

" yes! cartoons! " said john happily.

" did you eat?"i asked.

" Lena told Ana that she had dinosaur nuggets in the freezer..." said Jack almost laughing.

"ah, perfect, dinosaurs becoming extinct again" i softly laughed

John yawned, ugh at least i had some time with him, it's more important for Jack today anyways.

" dad was going to tell me a story" said John with a huge smile.

" oh yeah? " I asked looking up at jack

" he was. He was!" He slightly bounced.

" and what was the story about ?" My heart is so full of joy.

" he wouldn't tell me. Tell it please please pleaaaase"

" okay but just one then bed" said jack trying his best stern voice.

" awwwwwww " whined John.

" jack I hardly find roadhouse to be a bedtime story..." I joked.

" oh it's not roadhouse. " said jack with a laugh.

" what's roadhouse?" Asked John.

" hopefully something you won't watch til you are older" I said.

" don't worry. You will see it one-day" said Jack giving me a look. I smiled and reached out my spare hand for his.

" actually your mother probably has a better story" said jack. " that doesn't start with ' in a hole in the ground... there lived a hobbit'"

" hey. That's a good story"

" it is but-"

" what's a hobbit?" Interrupted John.

" ah! A hobbit is like a halfling " I started

" what's a halfling?" John asked.

" please don't let her answer that" said Jack with a laugh.

" I want to knooooow" whined John.

" like a dwarf. But hobbits are peaceful folk. Who enjoy food. Parties and never doing anything adventurous. They enjoy the comforts of a peaceful home...but there were many hobbits who went on to become heroes. " I said with pride

" what hobbits became heroes. And heroes like dad ?" asked John.

" you can't be serious... You are getting to tell the hobbit aren't you!?" Said jack his smile was huge and wonderful.

" well. Your dad is a hero. But he's more like Aragon. " I said.

" no. Angela" said jack.

" what an Aragon ?" Asked John with a yawn.

" Aragon was a hero. But he wouldn't like to think of himself like one. And he helped out two very important hobbits. Technically four. But the two main hobbits got the most help" I said. I could feel John drifting into sleep. Jack's eyes were glassy and he looked so proud.

" tell me about him"

" well. Aragon was a ranger. So he would roam around and keep track of things and make sure things were safe for people. So a wizard oneday contacted him to help get some hobbits to the hall of the elves to discuss what they were going to do with a very evil ring " I said. Jack was smiling at me, and we looked down to see John asleep tucked In between us.

Jack gently reached over and kissed my forehead.

" I love you angel" he said softly.

" I love you too darling. " I said. We snuggled against our son. Our foreheads touching as we slowly fell asleep together. I wish this could have been us years ago. We could have been somewhere far away from people. In a cabin and living our lives. But the stuff we poured into overwatch and everything...this was too much.

 **A/N: i wanted to post something since the new event dropped today! so excited! So if i disappear on here for a bit, you will know why... i need allllll the new skins and voice lines! .**

 **Kidding, i'll still be updating! Anyways i know this was a shorter chapter! please don't hate me!**

 **As always i am so thankful to all of you who review! (short authors note as well, i'm so tired)**


	31. Chapter 31

Waking up next to my two favorite people was wonderful. Jack had slept through the night without a single nightmare, and come to think of it, I slept soundly as well. My first time since... no. He's back now. That's what matters. They are both back.

A knock was heard on the door. Jack got up and opened it. And John curled into me tighter. Ana and Meera were standing there.

" unfortunately... it's time. " Ana whispered.

" do you think we could come along?" I asked.

Ana looked sadly at us. " unfortunately no. We don't think it would be wise. We need this to be as quick and painless as possible. But you two should be able to visit in a few weeks or maybe sooner"

I sighed. And kissed johns head. A few weeks. What's the point ? I didn't feel like arguing in front of our son though.

He stirred awake when Meera walked over.

" John it's time to go" she said.

" but. I. Don't. Wanna!" He screamed.

This is horrible. When I first had to give him away he couldn't fight it. Now he was.

Tears streaming down his face.

" hey. We will see you soon okay? Promise. " said jack giving him a hug. John cried into him. Then into me.

" you be good okay?"

" you are letting me go again. Why!" He screamed.

" because we love you and want you to be safe" said jack.

" but you can protect me" he argued.

Jack let out a sigh.

" I need you to be a good little soldier and go with Meera. We have to protect a lot of people. But we want you to be safe. Okay? " said jack.

John sniffled and hugged us tighter.

" time to go" said Meera. And with that she lifted him up and they left the room.

I felt tears spilling down my face and Jack pulled me into him. His body shook and he just held me.

" I'm so sorry" he said after a while.

" for what".

" you know what for "

" actually I don't..."

He sighed heavily.

" I've said it before. I messed everything up. I should have said something to you "

" what? i refuse to keep having this conversation... you are back now and that's what matters" I said.

" I just. I couldn't let anything happen to you Ange. I couldn't be with you because I was killing you"

"Shhh. You are blaming yourself. It was my fault too. We went over this. But I'm willing to tell you again and again. We made mistakes. We both could have done something differently but we have each other now. And our son in some way" I said my voice sounding stronger with each word.

" but I hurt you "

" and I hurt you. We could have both been there. But we cannot change how things went. Only how they will go from here. What I said on the plane is what I want. I want this to work with you, I want to be with you".

" you already are" he pulled me into a kiss. Each one becoming more and more intense. He began kissing down my neck again.

" jack stop. You know how I am..." I said softly moaning.

" I have an idea... but. Later tonight. " he kissed me again and again. I wanted him so bad.

His warm breathe making my hair stand on end.

My phone buzzed.

" fuck not now. " frustration pouring from my words.

Jack slid my phone over to me.

" arrived safe. Back now. Keep it down you two" was Ana's message. I blushed and showed him. He laughed into my neck.

" later ?" I asked into his ear.

He kissed my lips.

" yeah. I should probably shower anyways. " He said.

I hope it doesn't sound like I'm pressuring him. But. It's just been so many years. Days was hard enough back before... ugh.

I kissed him again.

" get back to the lab angel" he said with a slight laugh.

" fine. " I groaned.

He gave me a kiss and we went our separate ways. I decided to take a long bath to rid myself of tension. Then I headed to the lab for a few hours. Making more vaccinations. The processes felt so natural. Once I had a few more made I walked out to the roof to smoke. Genji was waiting there.

Fuck what does he want? Oh now that's not fair to him. He was my only friend during the off years. Now I'm avoiding him like the plague. But his pushing for me to move on was beginning to annoy me.

" I was hoping to see you here " he said. Moving from a meditative pose.

" sorry if I've been distant I have had a lot on my mind" I admitted.

" I can help you if you would just ask" he said, he sounded so hurt. And honestly I don't know what to do about it.

" I'm sorry. I'm fine really though. Just lots of work " it was true. Mostly.

" and the new guy" he said, ugh I don't understand why he sounds so annoyed with me.

" well he does need my medical attention"

" Angela. I'm not some idiot. " he snarled. That was weird. He had never snarled at me in the past few years... what the hell?

" what... what do you mean?" I said my voice shaking.

" I wanted you to move on. Not..." he stopped. I exhaled a cloud of smoke in frustration. What is he getting at?

" nevermind. Forget I said anything. " he walked away in complete anger.

"Genji...wait.. what are you talking about" i whispered. He turned and looked at me.

"you could have told me" he said his voice becoming calmer.

"Told you about what?" my voice shook.

" Angela" he walked over to me and gently lifted his mask, " i didn't know you... well... i didn't know you had a kid"

i froze slightly. "How?"

"i was in the hallway last night, and i heard a small voice and other voices... if i didn't know any better..." he started his eyes looking softer and sadder.

"Genji, i cannot tell you how important it is to remain completely silent on this matter"

"But why? we could help more here than wherever you sent him off too!"

"i don't know! we are.. i mean i'm figuring this out" i said, he had a point actually... i didn't think i could handle everyone knowing... god i'm selfish. Fareeha was right...

He nodded and closed his mask.

"i will keep your secrets, as you have kept mine" he said as he left.

I don't have enough energy to deal with this. I walked back inside and checked on Jesse. He looked better and was happily joking around with the group. Jack even joined in the group gathered in the main room.

It felt a bit normal. But Genji was silently observing. Jack walked over and sat next to me, I slightly curled into his side. We could do this now... I think? There was no set rules. With Lena and Jesse clearly galavanting around as a couple I don't see what would be wrong with us.

Lena smiled over at me. She nudged Jesse who tipped his hat. This was nice. Just pointless conversation and finally being able to just be free and mostly open about things. Except of course our son. Or who he really was. Well now I sound juvenile. At least we can show we are a couple but that's all that matters and everything else is irrelevant... that's how I sound.

Jack nudged me with a slight laugh" hey Lucio asked you a question "

Oh. Maybe I should actually pay attention sometimes.

" can you repeat the question ?" I asked

" my newest album drops soon. "

" well that's wonderful" I said. I really did love his music and I often listened to it while I was away.

"Well I wanted everyone to come to the release. And I talked to Winston about it and he says some of us can go and I want you to be there"

" that is probably not the best idea " I said softly " but thank you"

" awww " whined Lena.

" it's fine. I just need to lay low for awhile. In case you missed the meeting yesterday"

Lucio and Lena nodded. " i will miss my best dancer" he said with a smile.

"i'll be there in spirit " i argued.

He frowned slightly and Lena chuckled "That's not what we wanted there"

i shook my head.

" but it's true. I mean most are coming as security since we don't really know if the world knows overwatch is back"

" it's probably best is stays concealed" said jack.

Jesse nodded " I'm feeling the same way, I'll reckon there's a price on your head as well?"

" more than I care to tell" said jack gruffly.

" I won't push. Nice to know there's still folks like us out there" said Jesse tipping his hat and leaning back into Lena. Lucio went off to mix something.

This was weirdly comfortable.

As much as I wanted him to reveal who he is. He's just not ready yet. I'm repeating myself constantly internally. It's good to be aware. As much as I want to know what's going on inside his head, I also cannot imagine it.

Winston padded out with Bastion shyly following behind him, i didn't know bastion units could be shy... He was holding a little holo pad.

"So, when we aren't in the field, he will have this little holo pad to be able to communicate with all of us, in the field his voice will be translated into the communicators, there is still a lot to teach Bastion, but i think it will be excellent to have one on our side" said Winston.

Bastion bweewooped and the translation of "Hello" appeared onto the screen.

"Hiya!" shouted Lena happily. Reinhardt and Torbjorn looked grumpy in their corners.

"I was wondering if anyone would have time to maybe teach Bastion how the place runs and then teaching Bastion how to work in the field..." asked Winston, but he was staring at me and Jack. It's true, if i was kept off the field for a bit i would have time to try and socialize the unit. His little bird chirped happily on his shoulder.

"Who is your little friend?" asked Lena

"Ganymede" responded Bastion.

"Oh! nice'ta meet ya!" said Lena happily.

Bastion whirred and looked at me "Hello" i said slightly raising my hand in a wave.

Bastion raised his arm back "Hello!" he beeped.

"i guess... he can hang out with my in my lab" i muttered. Winston smiled at me "Excellent! but you cannot teach him to fight"

I heard jack lightly grunt.

"What was that 76?" asked Winston.

"i can..." he said carefully.

"Excellent! Excellent news! have a good night everyone, Bastion you can come with me now" said Winston as he left.

" wellll I think it's time I hit the hay. Angela you know I hate the medications you give me sometimes" said McCree " always have me craving shut eye" with that they both got up and left.

" scheisse speaking of which you need yours" I said turning into jacks shoulder.

" alright. Lead the way doctor" he said standing and extending his arm to me. I happily linked his arm and we walked to my office as I carefully measured out the dose into the syringe. He exposed his arm to me and I carefully injected it. I disposed of the needle. And turned to him.

" shall we go lie down?" He half laughed. Still in his mask, the echo of it sounded so weird. But I was getting used to our alone time and mask free zone.

We walked back to my room and curled into bed.

" so what horrible films do you have this time? I swear if it's some weird German art film from the 90's I will be upset"

" the princess and the warrior is not an art film. And neither is run Lola run. They are art films in a way, but..."

" angel I'm teasing you. Do you know that I almost bought a copy of them just so I could feel closer to you when we... well. When. "

I put a finger across his lips " no, for one I don't believe you. And two. Shush. It's your pick "

" saw" he said with a smirk as he removed his mask.

" ugh. You know how I feel about"

" Carey elwes cutting off his foot when he could have just cut off his heel and used the blood to help with sliding out" stated jack with a smile.

" agh. Am I that predictable?"

" you tear those movies apart, speaking of which..." he said as he pulled me down next to him. I laughed as he kissed my neck. I tried kicking him away. But he startled tickling me more and more.

" stop stop. I give up. You pick I promise to stay quiet. " I said between laughs.

" jaws"

" what. Why?"

" because it's perfect to not pay any attention to!" He said relaxing back into the pillows, and gently motioning at me to join him.

He flipped on the movie as we snuggled closely. I expected him to fall asleep from the medication but he was more energetic than I expected.

"so... Genji knows..." i said suddenly, it just poured out. Jack's expression changed to slightly annoyed.

"Did you tell him? what does he know exactly"

" He knows about John, well of John, he said he saw me in the hallway last night"

"Shit" said Jack.

"well, he asked why i didn't just let him stay here..." i felt guilty all over again.

Jack brushed my cheek "that would be more ideal than a safe house, i just figured since it was never mentioned that it wasn't an option"

"i didn't know it was.. or i'm just as horrible as Fareeha originally said, not willing to own up to my own m... my son..our son" i was correcting myself left and right.

"how could you say that? "

"i didn't mean it, i meant that's what Fareeha viewed him as, i don't think that!" i said softly. I mean, yes we hadn't been trying so technically it was an accident.

Jack pulled me back into his shoulder.

"it's a thought that's for sure, he's really wonderful angel. Thank you"

i slightly laughed. "For what?"

" for having our son" he played with my hair a little bit, i snuggled back into him and we sat in silence for a few minutes.

"this might be weird to ask but..." he started to say and i turned into him.

"like... what was his birth like?" his eyes looked slightly misty.

"oh... awful. " i responded, trying to not think of that day.

"you mean that?"

"i mean..." i grunted "it was a bad day, and a good day, and...it was weird, painful and i felt so distant"

His eyes looked so guilty, i could feel bad, and i do, but he asked.

"i mean... i went into labor a month early, i had just found out that Ana had been killed, and i was sleeping with Lena, and my water broke, so... Winston and Lena carried me to the medical bay..." my voice slightly cracked, he snuggled into me, wiping a stray tear away.

"Anyways, Winston and Lena helped me with breathing and the contractions, sorry... this is harder to talk about than i thought... i just. i thought you were dead, that Ana was dead... " i ran my hands through my hair.

" so then. Meera helped me deliver. And I passed out for I don't know how long... but when I woke up Lena and Winston were in the room and he was crying softly. I didn't want to... I didn't want to hold him" I pushed back tears and jack just held me.

" does that make me terrible?" I whispered.

He inhaled sharply.

" I wish I was there... and no...that doesn't make you a bad person... you were probably trying to distance yourself from everything..." his voice sounded strained.

" we cannot dwell on things we cannot change darling " I murmured into his ear.

" I did hold him. Because I had to feed him. He looked like you and that really hurt. But looking back it was also comforting. Knowing that a part of us. A part of our love would be in the world despite all that was wrong with it..."

jack gently stroked my cheek, pulling me into a kiss.

" we have a son" he said suddenly.

" uh yes..."

He smiled at me, pulling me into a bear hug.

He was shaking slightly.

" jack... are you okay?" I asked, this was worrisome.

" I just met our son today. Which. We made"

" yes... typically that's how it's done" I said arching an eyebrow.

" I have a family" he said his smile was so happy, and I feel insanely guilty thinking what the hell?!

He pushed me into the pillows.

" Angela I love you "

" I love you too"

" I'm sorry. It's just. It's fully hitting me now, if you would have told me that I would get a girlfriend and one like you, and have a son... I wouldn't have believed it, God you are so beautiful. " he kissed me again. Shit. This feels like a mood swing... do I need to adjust something. Or is there something wrong with me?!

I kissed him back and he pulled away.

" are you okay angel?" He asked.

" I'm just wondering if you are okay?"

" is it not okay for me to be happy? "

" I just haven't seen this from you in a long time. I mean yesterday you were happy... I'm so sorry jack I'm analyzing things, and I didn't really get any time with him yesterday and..." shut up Angela, don't whine, don't ruin this.

" I understand, I'm just happy again. I feel happy, being back with you has made me so happy. And having a son is like... an amazing feeling. I'm a dad... oh god. I'm a dad"

That made me smile.

" ha! That's something I never thought I'd hear you say" I laughed.

"Ughhhh ange. When can we see him again. " he flopped back into the pillows.

" it's up to both of us now. And Meera. And Ana. And Fareeha. And Winston "

He frowned.

" he's our son... "

" I know and you know that but you know how things are"

His face clouded, and his entire mood changed.

" I should have finished him when I had the chance" he growled. I snuggled into him my heart was racing.

" jack i'm so sorry " I muttered into him.

He grunted and held me.

" I'm sorry I shouldn't have brought it up" he growled.

" it's okay my love" I kissed him in a distraction attempt. I didn't want to think about Reyes. And I know he didn't.

He gently kissed me back.

"With you pulled off field work, we could always try to just, escape for a bit" he said wistfully.

"Jack, we have something to accomplish first" i kissed his temple.

"That could take a lot of time, we could just..."

"leave? " i said arching an eyebrow. This wasn't like him, it's what he said he would have wanted years ago... but with Reyes possibly back...

"i don't know what i'm thinking" he sighed, stroking my hair.

"it's fine, it's good to dream" i whispered

"but i don't want it to be a dream..." he grumbled.

"Jack, i know.. i just. Genji mentioned that he should just stay here with all of us..."

"And risk him calling me dad?"

"well, like, who cares... his mom is seeing someone and he calls him dad... it happens"

"That sounds almost far fetched" he replied sadly.

"i know, never-mind... i mean... Ana had Fareeha here, and we never knew who the dad was... or at least i didn't" i muttered.

"Well the entire Amari family is good at keeping secrets" he smiled slightly.

"It's just something to think about" i whispered into his neck, i was already falling asleep. His lips gently pressed into my forehead. I would love to just get away, but my heart also belong to helping people, being a doctor had always been my number one priority, even Jack understood that... but being a mother... fuck i'm a mother... should technically come first... or is that not very progressive of me to think that? or to judge myself... ugh.

 **A/N: Hey, so i wanted to thank everyone again, i know i sound insanely repetitive, but honestly, your messages are helping me so much. Apologies in advance for this chapter seeming like a lot of back and forth, i just had some stuff to get out of the way, and explaining the emotions some of them are going through. It's been a couple of days, and i hope this is okay. Also, let me know if how i'm going to make bastion communicate is okay with all of you, he will have the holo pad, and he will have on field comm translations.**


	32. Chapter 32

Waking up next to jack was one of the biggest joys in the past few years. My darling was alive, we have a family, well. Sort of, once everything gets worked out. He stirred in his sleep, the lack of nightmares was encouraging.

I gently kissed his forehead, and he whimpered reaching out for me and pulling me closer.

" jack, we have a meeting" I moaned.

" same as yesterday..." he grumbled kissing my lips. As much as I wanted to stay and explore him some more...

We rolled out of bed slipping into new clothes and I slid on some quick makeup. Jack had laid back on the bed watching.

" you really are so beautiful" he said softly, like it hurt him to say.

" why thank you " I smirked walking back to him and kissing him.

We walked to the meeting. No new information for us. But Genji, Lena , Jesse and Lucio were headed to Hanamura.

I would be watching bastion for the day, then he would be in training with jack later.

His little mechanical coos and ganymede's chirps were uplifting as we headed to the lab together.

" okay, so today I'm working on more on a project. It's to see if I can stop the process of mind control, do you understand?" I asked.

He whirred and made a confused noise, his holo pad displaying " no"

" we had a friend, she was taken away from us... and her mind was different. Like yours. You know how you think differently from..."

" the other bastions ?" Read his screen a sad noise came out of him.

" exactly, I need to change how she thinks now, I have the basic ideas "

" can't you change her programming?" Read his holo pad.

I smiled at him " that's what I'm trying to do"

I mixed up a few things and he happily whirred in the corner, him and Ganymede making noises at each other. It was calming having them around me. After a few hours I heard jack gently tapping on the glass of the lab. Bastion stood up and I walked to the door.

" bastion are you ready for training ?" Asked jack. Bastion whirred happily.

" yes " the holo pad read.

" did you want to join? You need practice as well. Probably more than him" laughed jack.

" I'll be down in a few. I just need to clean up some of this and send Winston my findings. Well our findings... he was very helpful today " I said smiling at both of them.

" thank you Angela. I look forward to meeting with you in range" said the holo pad.

" you are welcome. But i think you meant. I look forward to seeing you in the range" I corrected.

He whirred softly.

Then they took off. I cleaned up my notes and messaged Winston, while heading down to the range.

Mechanical whirring and jack softly talking greeted me.

Bastions whirs sounded frightened.

Jack looked up as I walked in.

" one minute friend" he said to bastion and he walked over to me.

" what's going on?" I whispered.

" we've got a ptsd bot " he said softly.

" oh no..." poor little guy. Then again, a unit trained to kill, who changed would certainly have some issues.

"What happened ?" I asked.

" I just... I fired my gun. And he panicked. Whirring and he couldn't type anything out. Luckily he has Ganymede, he started chirping and bastion chirped back. " said jack.

Bastion turned towards us whirring and waving.

I waved back and so did jack. " so uh. What are we going to do?" Asked jack.

Honestly I could deal with human ptsd. Robotic. Not so much my forte but I could try.

" slow exposure therapy maybe? Find a way to explain to him what is going on, that he is in control of his own actions and that he is helping now. Not hurting. This will be a shock to the group though" I murmured. I gently squeezed jacks hand.

" however. I think you might be perfect for helping him..." I said with a slight raise of my eyebrow.

Jack cleared his throat anxiously.

And we walked back over to him. Sitting on the bench.

"Hello friend. I heard you got scared..."

I started. He whirred anxiously.

"That's okay. We have all been scared before. You cannot help it. But we can help you" I softly said.

Bastion beeped as though sighing.

" you are safe here. You are capable of your own thoughts now, and that must be hard. What you did before. What we all did before, we did because it was what was told to us as the right thing... sometimes it's not. You have to learn to trust yourself..." I comforted.

Silence. And jack inhaled sharply, sometimes when you see yourself in someone or something else, it can be triggering.

"I understand " said his holopad.

" do you want a break for the day? I think Genji has some bob Ross you can watch" I said softly.

Bastion whirred happily and Ganymede chirped.

I walked bastion to the main area and put on some bob Ross and other happy nature shows to enjoy. Then I returned to the range,Jack was sitting on the bench looked a bit rattled.

I sat next to him and he flinched slightly.

" hey... love. Are you okay?" I whispered. He leaned into me, looking worried.

I gently stroked his shoulders.

" I know, it's tough seeing it in someone else isn't it? "

His head moved slightly.

" but you can both help each other. It's never easy seeing your own reactions in someone or something else. What you are feeling is completely normal" I tried to comfort him.

" but I don't want to feel this way... I thought I was doing better" he whispered.

"You are! You are doing so much better. Don't let a moment of panic. Or reliving it break down the progress you have made, it's completely natural to be good, then to have moments of panic. They will eventually decrease and I'm proud of you. " I said kissing his forehead.

He rubbed his hands on his face and smiled at me.

" thank you " he said, then he pointed to my blaster on the table.

" your turn " he said. Ugh. Of course.

I whined and he smiled at me gently kissing my cheek.

" up with you!" He said with a slight laugh. I frowned and stood up and he smacked my ass.

" hey! Not fair! I'm supposed to concentrate " I grunted.

" yes yes you are... use that to focus" he teased.

I rolled my eyes and walked up to the table picking up my blaster. I steadied my aim and fired a few shots. I could feel his eyes on my back.

" you aren't focused. I need you to focus" he scolded.

I was focused. My aim was just shit.

I took aim at the new targets trying to focus harder.

I felt his hands correcting my posture, " try again. " he said " and remember this position. Always remember to take proper aim. Line up your target and aim to kill, no more aiming to disable"

I let out a breath and fired again and again.

" better, but not good enough" he muttered, I could feel him trying to figure out what I was doing wrong.

" I need you to clear your mind and focus completely. You need to picture yourself being attacked. "

" so am I supposed to clear my mind or focus on being attacked?"

He grunted. " Angela. This is your life. Defend it"

That shook me a little, I fired and fired. My shots becoming better, and better.

" there you go. Now just do a few more"

We spent some time working on my aim, and it worked, sort of. The shots were deadly at that point. I was slightly shaky from picturing the dark smoky figures I keep having nightmares of.

" okay I think you are done" he said after a few more rounds of fatal shots.

"Whenever we aren't in the field I need you to do this. To come down here and practice... okay?" He asked.

I nodded placing my blaster on the table. I could feel him come up behind me. Gently holding me from behind, my breathing sped up, as he pulled my hair away from my neck and started kissing it. I tensed up as he kissed behind my ear. His warm breath tickling the hairs that stood on end.

One hand gently stroking my hip.

I let out a soft moan and he grunted while nibbling on my earlobe.

His hand slid up my skirt slowly making its way to my... the door flung open and Reinhardt and Torbjorn loudly arguing could be heard. Jack lunged for his mask quickly affixing it to his face while my face was flushed.

" we should probably go somewhere else" he growled. Torbjorn and Reinhardt came into view.

 **(Meanwhile, in a craft in the sky)**

Genji, Jesse, Lena and Lucio were heading to Hanamura to collect Hanzo to bring him to the base, d. Va was expected to join as well, but it would take a little but on convincing.

Apparently she was a huge fan of lucio so dragging her along wouldn't be too hard.

Lucio studied the ship, his first mission without Angela. His first friend at Overwatch, he peered over at Genji who seemed to be taking in the entire ship and mission objective.

" so your brother is Hanzo... and he's how you became well..." he started.

" yes, but Angela is the one to thank for my new life" replied the cyborg.

He nodded and slightly frowned.

" how..." he started.

" Angela and Torbjorn built me a new body, mostly Angela " said Genji. His voice usually rather mechanical sounded sad.

" sorry man. Didn't mean to bring up a sore subject "

" it's fine, I think she has a harder time dealing with it. So it's best we talk here instead of around her"

Lucio nodded again twisting his headphones around his neck.

" I don't mind talking about it now. I have become one with who I am" said Genji.

Lena looked at her companions.

" oi loves! Mind if I join?" She asked her eyes brimming with excitement. Jesse smiled at her and extended his arm for her.

As she set the craft into auto pilot. Everything was supposed to be normal. Just a pick up and go back. They only brought the group be safe.

" so like. Wot did you do in those years between leaving and the recall?" Asked Lena.

" ah... I went and trained with Zenyatta. He became my master and taught me all I needed to know to become one with who I am now. And how to make peace with my brother... then Angela came to live with me..." he started.

" no way" said Lucio.

" uh. Yes. " said Genji confused.

" sorry man. I was just shocked that's all"

" she is my friend. She reminded me of myself during my hard years" said Genji softly.

Lena nodded and smiled " thanks for taking care of our girl "

" it was an honor" replied Genji.

" so like. Did you two..." started Lucio before stopping himself. Nothing was his business, and he regretted it.

" she... is a friend " said Genji sharply.

" and she needed my help"

" plus she was probably still hung up on jack..." said Jesse rubbing lena's arm.

" wait. Wait. So the rumors were true! No way! Angela and jack Morrison! Ha! " Lucio punched the air.

" I know! It's not like some huge mind blowing discovery. They thought they were so sneaky!" Giggled Lena.

" that's like one of those old war films. The doctor and the soldier. Man. No wonder why she was a mess when she was in rio" said lucio

" she seems better now though" he added.

" yeah. Another soldier! Ha! Guess Angie has a type" giggled Lena.

Genji shifted his position to a more meditative one.

" oooh Genji can we do yoga again soon?" Lena pleaded.

Genji chuckled slightly "

Of course. You only need to ask" he responded.

" aw man do you think I could join in on some of that? I cramp my neck whenever I'm mixing something new. Apparently yoga can help!" Exclaimed Lucio.

Genji nodded " of course. Everyone is welcome. Even Jesse "

" oh that would be the day!" Laughed Lena.

Jesse shifted and laughed " I'll reckon I won't be doing any of that "

"i do have one request though" said Genji

"what's that?"asked Lucio

"how.. do you play.. Starcraft?"

Lucio laughed and slid his phone and body next to Genji as he began to show him how to play.

Lena looked at the map

" ah we should be there in a moment. Or ten"

" so what's your brother like? Is he like you or?" Asked lucio.

" oh he's far more serious" said Lena putting on a grumpy face.

" he has his moments though. He can relax..." said Genji.

" he's stubborn, but loyal. Serious but can also be relaxed "

Lucio smiled " that doesn't clear anything up"

" ah. You will have to see with your own eyes" Genji softly said. While their relationship was greatly repaired, he still felt bad saying anything bad about him.

" so loves. What's the plan on convincing Hana song to join?" Lena said picking up on the discomfort in her friends voice.

" oh! So! She's doing a signing today, local tea shop. Figured I'd show up while you get hanzo and try to persuade her, I mean. It can't be too hard" said lucio with a hint of confidence.

" I don't know if you are right about that one..." started Lena.

" oh I think it will work. She likes my music, I like her- uh gaming" lucio slightly blushed at his error.

Jesse laughed along with Lena.

" what?! She's a great gamer!"

"Sure partner. Whatever you say " chuckled Jesse.

Lucio huffed and leaned back in his chair.

" alright loves. I'm landing this craft!" Said Lena excitedly.

They landed steadily. Genji was going to take Jesse to get Hanzo and Lucio was going to attempt to get Hana song. Lena wanted to follow but figured someone should watch the ship. Which is why she was thrilled when Jesse said he would stay behind.

Lena and Lucio went on their happy way together. While Genji ventured alone to grab his brother and a few things of Angela's that hanzo moved for them.

" oh wow this place is packed!" Squeaked Lena as they arrived at the meet n greet.

Hana was looking positively adorable behind a big display and sitting ontop of a meka themed chair.

" she's so..." started Lucio. Lena lightly punched him in the arm giggling

" oh you fancy her!" She giggled.

" hey! I mean we are into the same things!" He retorted embarrassed.

" I believe it. But that still means you fancy her" she teased excitedly.

They hung back sipping on coffees and waiting for the crowds to thin.

Suddenly an excitable Hana bounced over to them.

" are you two who the gorilla sent for me?" She giggled.

" uh..." stammered Lucio.

" and you are Lucio!" She squeaked excitedly.

"Oh! You know of me?!" Blushed Lucio.

" uh duh! Like top selling albums! Epic underground shows! Hello!" Her brown eyes glimmered.

Lena was sitting back enjoying the frazzled Lucio handle the excitable girl.

" and you! You are tracer ! " her hands flung up in the air.

Lena winked " the one and only love!"

" so wots you think?!"

" I'm thinking uh yes! Of course! Just let me grab my meka and we can go go!" Her enthusiasm pouring out of her.

" all right!" Shouted Lucio. His smile almost melting off his face.

The next hour was spent loading her meka into the craft along with plenty of traveling bags, full of games and probably Mountain Dew.

Hanzo and Genji returned walking up to the group.

" oh hanzo! Good to finally meet you !" Said Lena looking at the older shimada brother. His hair pulled up into a more modern style with a bridge piercing. His expression was unimpressed.

" my brother spoke highly of you" he said.

" awww Genji! " cooed Lena.

" I speak highly of all of my friends. " replied Genji, pushing a box onto the craft.

" oooh we got some of Angie's stuff ?"

Said Lena rubbing her hands together and trying to pry open a box.

Hanzo lightly slapped her hand away

" these are her personal items. " said Hanzo " it wouldn't be right to open them".

" sorry love! I get ahead of myself sometimes. " said Lena with a slight frown as Genji loaded in another box. Jesse smiled at Lena " never could keep secrets from you"

Lucio was dragging in another one of Hana's bags as she sat on the couch seats playing a game on her phone.

Lena smiled and shook her head as she warmed up the craft.

" that should be everything " groaned Lucio as he dragged in another brightly colored suitcase, covered in colorful stickers.

" we are ready as well. " replied Genji.

" alright loves. Buckle up. Or er. Take a seat. We got a bit of a flight ahead of us" she giggled.

Once they were in the air she joined the group sitting around the table.

Lucio and Hana were playing phone games against each other and hanzo and Genji were softly talking with Jesse.

" so I guess when we get back there will be a meeting or briefing or something " said Genji trying to include her. Truthfully they were never close , not that he didn't want to be, his headspace was a bit grumpy while he was apart of overwatch earlier. He only hung around Angela. Which was a bit of his own doing, he didn't like getting close to people after his brother trying, well successfully killing him for a moment in time.

He liked everyone but just never bothered with closeness, except Angela, but even that didn't fully work.

" I didn't think there would be meetings" grumbled Hana not looking up from her game as she ribbed Lucio

" hey! Not sabotaging the competition" shouted Lucio.

" but overwatch does have a lot and I mean a lot of meetings" said Lena.

Hana frowned, but a happy chirp from her phone caused a shout of happiness.

" does that mean you are victorious?" Asked Genji.

" of course. I'm in it to win" said Hana.

Hanzo sighed and handed over a bottle of sake to Genji and Jesse.

" wait. Are you two taking bets on us?" Said Lucio. "that's cold man, especially when i taught you how to play!"

" there may have been a wager. " said Jesse with a smile as he pried open the lid.

" that is best served warm" argued hanzo.

" well it's best served in my body" said Jesse with a smile pouring some shots.

" hey what about me?" Squeaked Hana.

" aren't you a bit young?" Said Jesse.

" no! Not where I'm from" grumbled Hana.

" alright. If ya say so" said Lena grabbing another glass.

They toasted and sat back as Hana explained star craft to the team.

Lucio interjected here and there.

" so like, have you all been apart of overwatch for forever?" Asked Hana.

" no, I'm new, so is Hanzo, I'd say Fareeha as well. But she's Ana's daughter. And now you... oh and this guy who goes by soldier 76"

Said Lucio.

" oh! Well good" said Hana.

" everyone's real nice except well. Actually. We don't really know him that well, well. None of us do but" then Lena started giggling. And Hanzo slightly furrowed his brow.

" is he trustworthy?" He asked sternly.

" as much as any of us I'll reckon" said Jesse leaning back.

" I just heard he was a vigilante " said Hanzo.

" how is that any different from any of us?" Said Lucio.

" oh true! Didn't you steal tech from vishkar?" Said Hana as her eyes flicked up from her game for a moment.

" ah. Yeah. Yeah that was me" said Lucio smiling.

" and Jesse here loves train heists " giggled Lena.

Jesse shook his head with a laugh.

"'And brother... we of all people cannot judge" said Genji.

Hanzo frowned and took another drink .

" it's natural to worry, but we all got each other's backs. Plus Ana and Ange are usually good judges of character. I doubt she would let him around her-" she stopped herself.

" uh. Friends!"

The group gave her confused glances.

" well! I'd better get ready to land this thing" she laughed nervously.

" are we almost there? " asked Hana her eyes getting large with joy.

" soon!" Chirped Lena as she walked to the cockpit.

"Im wondering what my room will look like !" Said Hana happily.

" eh pretty standard but I doubt anyone will mind if you make it your own" said Lucio.

Hana looked back down at her phone and resumed gaming.

" alright loves! Landing now!" Said Lena as the craft started its landing.

 **A/N: hey! sorry this took so long, i switched up some stuff and started heading in another direction that i originally planned. Actually. i couldn't keep editing what i already had written in advance, so i stopped doing that and now i'm writing these chapters as i go! HOWEVER i do have part of the next chapter completed, yes the Jack and Angela stuff. I just figured i would publish that closer to a holiday or something. Plus! i wanted to combine the two storylines better. I'm sorry if it upsets anyone!**

 **Thank you again for all your reviews,comments and messages. Every single one means so much to me, and i'm sorry i haven't posted, i kinda messed up my wrist a bit (too much support maining on overwatch)**


	33. Chapter 33

**A/N: Smut ahead! you've been warned. This chapter can easily be skipped if you don't want smut. (just edited it, to add something else!)**

" ah hello my friends!" Shouted Reinhardt.

" we were just coming to test out his hammer! I did some minor alterations. Care to watch?" Asked torbjorn.

" oh we were just uh. Leaving " I mumbled my face probably giving me away.

"Oh... right then " said torbjorn. Jack was already out the door and I followed behind him trying to keep up with his long strides.

" yours or mine?" He asked quickly.

Uhm. Ah. Errrrrr.

" yours ?" He answered his own question.

I opened the door and he pulled off his mask as he shut the door. Placing his hands on my face he pulled me into a deep kiss. The kind that just makes your entire body go numb, his hands then went to my ass slightly cupping it and I wrapped my legs around him, as he let out a grunt, kissing me harder, and effortlessly carrying me over to the bed.

I felt my body falling onto the pillows and blankets as he carefully hovered above me, his hands roaming my thighs as he pulled up my dress, his lips touched my neck again. Lightly sucking under my jaw. I moaned loudly into his ear causing his body to shake, as he lifted my dress off of me. i started pulling at his shirt exposing his perfectly chiseled chest, running a hand down him, Well more scars than before, wrapping my legs again around him I could feel the familiar firmness growing in between my thighs. I could feel his heart racing under my hands and between my legs, his lips moved to my breasts, still wearing a bra he began kissing the tops of them, as I moaned in pleasure. It had been so long since I felt his touch. He pushed the straps down exposing my firm nipples, and he moaned before kissing them. Gently flicking his tongue over them effortlessly moving from one to the other as I let out a soft cry,unhooking the bra flinging it off. One hand made its way to the band of my panties, he carefully placed his hand over the crotch of them,

" please" I whined. I don't know if the years apart had made us just want to fling ourselves into each other, but i the increased longing and intense missing of him was causing my mind to completely shut down.

As he kissed me I could feel his mouth turn into a smile as he slid his hand into them, gently exploring and caressing me. I needed him, it was like a fire had ignited, I let out a loud moan and he kissed down my body, his fingers expertly dipped inside of me, I was dripping wet and i moaned returned to give me a kiss, our kisses becoming deeper as the increased desire rushed through me. His touch was electrifying, the years melting away, as if nothing had changed, one hand was playing with me still, my hips shaking under his swift movements. Every pulse of tension i held he would shake out, vibrating sensations into me. I pulled away gently biting at his earlobe, something i knew he loved, my warm breathing increasing as i nibbled, a shuddering moan echoing into my neck from him. His fingers almost lost their grip as another wave of ecstasy poured onto them.

Cupping my jaw with his other hand, he pulled my face to his and huskily said " I need to taste you..."

I started shaking harder as he pulled down my panties, and cupped my ass. He let out a warm breathe before circling my folds with his tongue, then slowly circling my clit before sucking on it, and moaning into me. I ran my hands in his hair, trying not to pull it. But I wanted him so much. My body went numb as he continued licking and expertly flicking me, his thumbs massaged my hips. Then he slowed down, as if to savor every second, every lick, which only forced me to squirm out of wanting. Fuck, fuck... i need this, i missed this, i need him to fuck away the years we lost.

" jack..." I panted. Wiggling my hips as he tried to hold them still, I couldn't contain the twitches of pleasure. He plunged his tongue into me. And my body jerked into his face, as I wriggled under him. He held onto me tighter and began furiously licking and pushing his tongue.

" jack... I'm. ... I don't think I can..." I moaned, i ran my hand down my abdomen trying to distract him into coming up, but he lifted my legs over his shoulders and raised my ass with his strong hands, gaining better depth inside of me. His tongue flattened on the clit and his hands went to work, one was holding me down while the other dipped into me, I started kicking before letting out a soft whine. There was no stopping this, as I felt myself give into pleasure I had tried holding back.

" jack please. I need you. ich brauche dich. ich brauche dich!" I tried not to scream. ( I need you).

" this is for you" he moaned into me.

" neit neit " I whined. ( no no)

He kissed both my hips then wiped his mouth.

" are you sure?" He teased.

" fuck... yes" I whimpered as he removed his pants and boxers in a smooth motion. His gorgeous erect cock hovering above my hips.

I reached down gently stroking it and he twitched, before grabbing hold of it himself and rubbing it against me.

" please" I said rubbing my hands over myself, something that always drove him wild. He smiled teasingly at me.

" my darling..." he softly said.

I pulled myself up, wrapping an arm over his strong shoulder, and kissed him, he gently bit my lip, catching it between his teeth and slightly pulled before letting go, then pushing me back down against the pillows.

"bitte, ich brauche dich...mein libbe" (please, i need you...my love)

He growled softly and plunged into me as I flung myself back, all these years without him. Or anyone caught up in this moment.

As I bucked my hips against him, latching my feet behind his ass.

He pushed me back down and started rocking into me, my eyes squeezing shut as a tear almost escaped,i wasn't used to this, i moaned slightly in pain. He caught on and slowed down, kissing me softly.

"is everything-" he started

"it's perfect, i'm just" i moaned, "i need to-" another moan escaping, pure pleasure interrupting my attempt at communicating, as i felt myself relax completely, before squeezing my walls around him. He groaned and sucked on my neck, before returning to my lips, our bodies moving together in a slow rocking motion, i felt my legs getting numb and i tapped my feet against his ass, just as i used too, and he slammed down harder, our kisses holding back moans.

" oh fuck" I cried, as I moved my body with his. He pressed his hand down in-between us and he pumped harder and harder. His soft groans becoming louder and more strained. My legs started to lose feeling, as they fell off his back and started shaking.

I could feel tears forming in the corners of my eyes, as his balls slapped my ass as he rocked into me. The sheer amount of lubrication between us soaking below me.

" I'm not sure how long I can..." I started to say, but he pulled me into a kiss, right before I almost screamed in pleasure.

" fuck Ange" he moaned, his body shaking ,He still knew, his hips moved slower in smaller circles, hitting my g spot, perfectly as I moaned loudly into his mouth,

" I need you to show me..." I gasped " how much you ..."

" well then you will need to keep it as quiet as possible" he teased. I knew I couldn't. My moans and soft screams of pleasure were already loud. He pulled away from my face and carefully covered my mouth as he slammed into me harder I could feel my body shaking as he slid a hand down gently fingering, and increasing the pressure of his thrusts. My thighs were shaking uncontrollably as I felt myself coming all over his cock. He let out a loud groan and shook as I felt him fill me. Spilling out between us. He kept going, then he slid an arm under me flipping me on top. Leaning down I kissed him, his hands running along my back. Before placing his hands under my breasts. I rocked into him, taking his full length as he gasped and moaned under me. His strong thighs spreading me apart more, muscles flexing and twitching as I leaned back steadying myself on his knees. My thigh strength started failing me in the moment.

He picked up on it and sat up lifting me up and down, while bucking against me.

" god you are so fucking" he started to say but I pulled myself until I could just feel his tip at my entrance. Smiling wickedly. I took all of him back inside me, in a quick thrust. His eyes squeezed shut as he held back a loud moan.

" you are evil" he muttered.

I just smiled, but he was the evil one. Sliding his hands onto my ass he yanked me against him again and again... he was so strong against my body, i felt breakable, he always worried he would hurt me when we went at it like this, but after one halloween... i showed him what i could handle, the feeling of his cock slamming inside of me, as i tried to hold back screaming, i dug my nails into his legs, steadying myself again, as i raised myself up and down, switching the motion as my back curved pulling me closer to another orgasm. our bodies glistening with sweat as my hair tried to cling to my breasts, i tossed my head back for a moment, exposing them as my body bent and he leaned up, playfully biting on one nipple, i stifled a moan and his body jerked under me, as he raised his head to mine. My nipples hitting his chest, sending twitches of pleasure down my body.

Our lips crashed together as we contained our moans in each other's mouths. Rocking my hips into his, increasing my speed until my thighs failed me again from numbness. He grabbed my ass again rocking me into him. I felt myself getting closer and closer as I squeezed him inside me, he bit my neck, while i moaned into his was tensing inside of me, as i rocked myself into him harder and harder, trying to gain the strength back, but my legs were too shaky. One hand touched the small of my back, pushing me into him as i felt him twitch inside of me, the feeling overwhelmed me and I felt myself release on him again. I let out an enthusiastic moan, and felt him shudder and twitch inside me as I filled with his warm release, only causing another loud moan from me while he groaned pulling me closer to take it all. Everything was so numb, tingling inside and I had an increased thirst to continue but too exhausted to try. We collapsed, and he pulled me under his arm. One hand gently tracing down my bare back sending a shudder down my spine. I lightly moaned and he smiled, his eyes squinting in happiness. was tucked under his shoulder, even his heart was racing.

I won't think of the last time this happened, i won't do it, i can't...

" I love you so much" he sighed kissing me. This was perfection. I would have never guessed I would get this chance ever again after...

" my angel why are you crying ?" He whispered.

" this... just all of this " buried my face into his neck and he snuggled me

" I... "he started.

" no no. I'm happy. I'm beyond happy. " I murmured into his neck. He just kissed my temple and rubbed my back.i carefully traced my finger along his chest, trying to relax my breathing.

His warm skin against mine, his perfect, actually alive heartbeat slowly decreasing from the rapid pace. Part of me wishing we could have lasted longer, but the other part of me completely exhausted. So many years and nothing... now this...

My phone started buzzing and so did his. Not again.

" team will be back soon" from Winston.

Figures.

" does this mean we need to get out of bed ?" I asked softly.

Jack grunted " unfortunately... however. We do need to shower. "

I bit my lip and looked up at him, he had a mischievous smile on.

Back in the day however. Taking showers together used to lead to sex, or be post sex...I felt my body being lifted up as he carried me to the shower. Fuck. Just being carried by him again makes me want to cry. He started the water and pulled me in. The temperature was perfect, how he always managed that would always amaze me. As his hands ran through my hair. Gently shampooing and rinsing it, I felt so calm and relaxed. Time hadn't passed at all. I lathered my hands and gently massaged it into his scalp as he moaned slightly. His hands rubbing my sides as we rinsed off. He gently dried me off then turned to dry himself off. I slid into my robe, for comfort before they arrived.

" the shimada dragons?" Jack slightly laughed.

" ah... yes. It was a gift from Genji a few years ago"

He looked slightly annoyed, but it was beautiful. Black silk with embroidered dragons, Genji had it custom made, saying something about everyone feeling comfortable and if I ever accepted his spa offer it would be perfect.

I frowned at my reflection for a moment. Stupid hair, I pulled it into a bun a few strands escaping, his hands snaked around my waist and he began kissing my neck again.

" scheisse. This is how we got into this in the first place " I scolded teasingly

" I know..." he laughed softly into my shoulder.

My phone buzzed.

" hey we got the illustrious Hana song!" Was a delayed message from Lucio.

" apparently the mission was a success..." I laughed

 **A/N: Well? Happy Valentine's day? if this is hated i can always post the stupid blurb i did of a memory of valentine's day years back that they shared or something (it felt more like a one-shot so i didn't just want to throw it up, and it's half finished because sometime's i get ahead of myself. I'm rambling!)**

 **I'm so sorry if you waited and hated this, i can try harder next time, or work it out or something. I wanted to thank some sources who wish to remain unknown for helping with this, i hope it's okay. Don't hate me forever.**

 **And i have the next chapter ready and will probably post that either today or tomorrow for those who wanted more plot!**


	34. Chapter 34

**A/N: if you read the last chapter like when it immediately went up, first of all, Thank you! secondly, i did do some extra editing on it, so if you liked it, feel free to double check. But there is no plot in that chapter, besides smut. So if you hate smut you could have totally skipped it! Anyways! back to the fic!**

As i laid snuggled against jack again, my eyelashes brushing into his neck, causing him to shift and scoot away from me. Before pulling me back and kissing my cheeks. When a knock was heard at the door. I looked at jack and he looked at me, before motioning at me to check it, shit... i hope we weren't too loud. Then again, it's not like Ana, Reinhardt or Torbjorn would care...

I cracked the door and saw Ana, she had a smirk on her face.

" someone wants to say goodnight to you" she said holding out a holopad.

" whenever you two are ready just press the button, you can see him but due to security reasons you won't be able to do video on your end. So he can hear you. But not see you " as I took the holopad from her and she walked away.

I closed the door and walked back over to Jack, he had a slight look of concern on his face.

" did you hear all that?" I asked carefully.

" yes..." he said as he stacked the pillows back onto the bed.

" well?" I arched an eyebrow.

" well what? Of course I want to talk to him" he said turning to me, with a smile as he sat down. I handed the holopad to him and sat down next to him curling into his side.

He put an arm around me and asked if I was ready,I nodded.

On the screen came our son, and Meera fussing over how to hold the device.

"Are you there?" Asked John.

" yes yes we are" replied jack.

" why can't I... see you?" He asked.

" it's just like with aunt Ana, it's for safety " said Meera as she began putting away some things.

" okay" said John.

" what did you do today?" Asked jack.

" oh! We had a toy battle. I won" said John.

" I can see that " said Jack as Meera shook her head with laughter in the background. I'm so damn awkward. I don't even know what to say to my own kid.

" well...you see" he started then went into a long explanation of how captain America had to fight the crocodiles to protect that planet from green slime... or something of that nature.

Jacks smile while listening was beautiful, he was so proud and intrigued, asking questions on his strategy , of which he didn't really have.

When Meera appeared behind John after she finishing cleaning.

" John it's really time for bed now" she said.

" but..." his little voice shaking.

" it is late John, you should get sleep " said jack.

" buuuuut"

" sleep will be good darling, tomorrow you can start on the next battle " I tried comforting.

" okay" he said looking sadly around.

" I love you daddy, I love you mom"

" we love you too" we said in unison.

Meera smiled as he ran off.

" we can try to do this more" she said.

" we would love that" replied jack his voice wavering a bit.

She nodded and said goodbye before closing the tablet.

Jack stroked my back gently and let out a small sigh.

" do you think they are really safe there ?" Asked jack after a few moments of silence.

" are you really questioning Ana?" I asked arching an eyebrow.

He shook his head slightly " you are right..."

If I'm being completely honest with myself , you can completely trust someone and their skills, but there is always a shred of doubt. We both knew that somewhere inside ourselves.

" you know, maybe we should just, go somewhere with him?" Jack said softly.

I half smiled " where would we go? "

He heavily sighed and laid back on the bed

" forget it" he mumbled.

" no no. I didn't mean to disregard it. I just, that's a big step" I said as I attempted a snuggle into his arm. After a few moments of struggling, he smiled and pulled me next to face looked lost in thought, we already have so much to handle before we can even think of running off for a little. And if I'm lucky it's just a lone hacker,not Gabriel trying to torment me. If he is alive again, why would he want me?

My thoughts were interrupted with a gentle kiss to my head.

"Angel, I think they are back"

The sounds of happy yelling was heard.

" I guess we should go be social?" I asked.

" it's the right thing to do" he replied. I stood up switching into a dress and leggings. Quickly applying some makeup and pulling my hair up.

" ready?" He asked with a slight smile as he held his mask in his hands by the door.

"Yeahhh" I was excited to see Hanzo again and to meet Hana, but I just wanted to get back into bed and cuddle with Jack longer.

He gave me a kiss before putting on his mask, his fingers lingering on my face for a moment longer and we left the room. Only to almost be run over by Hana and Lucio.

"'Oh hey! Hana meet the wonderful Angela and soldier 76" said Lucio

Hana smiled and exuded enthusiasm as she greeted us.

" OOOOH! Hello! we were just finding my room!" She squealed.

" after that we will be in the main area! If you two want to join us for drinks or something" added Lucio.

" uh sure" I said

" we were headed there anyways" said jack.

Lucio nodded and they zipped off racing down the halls.

"Energetic bunch " laughed jack.

" yeah, I mean Lucio is a ball of energy on his own. But those two teaming up... unstoppable. Ah. I should probably monitor their sugar intake "

The laugh through his mask will take some getting used too, it's so weird to hear, but any laughter is appreciated.

As we approached the main area. Bastion was sitting with Winston intently watching some more bob Ross and when bastion noticed us he started whirring happily.

" bastion has something to show you two!" Beamed Winston

As we walked over we could see a little easel that Winston must have thrown together and a painting. Oh my god. The bastion unit painted.

I couldn't contain my happiness

" bastion that is wonderful!" I clapped my hands together and got a closer look. Even Genji popped over.

" ah this is very good" he said.

" we have quiet the talented bastion in our group" said Winston.

Shit. Did we tell Winston about the incident today?

I shot a look at jack but he's impossible to read in that thing.

A familiar voice came behind me.

" greetings Angela, it is good to see you again" said Hanzo. I moved in for a quick hug, he's usually more formal but with me he allowed a few hugs, rarely. But still.

As I pulled back he smiled for a moment.

" we have brought you some of your things" he said.

" oh thank you , oh! Hanzo this is soldier 76, soldier... this is Hanzo" I said. They never met before even when he was alive, well. When he was knowingly alive.

Hanzo and jack shook hands carefully.

" oh! And Hanzo brought ..." Lena started to say then she tried to deepen her voice " SAKE!"

Jesse smiled putting his arm on her shoulder.

" we may or may not have already had a bottle" he said.

" surely not Lena. She was flying " said Winston.

They ignored his statement.

Ana frowned and sat down in a chair as we all began to sit around having small talk as Genji poured drinks. As we toasted Lucio and Hana reappeared. Lena rushed over to her and they began animatedly talking. I tried to focus on the wonderful taste, I reasoned with myself because sometimes it tasted like a warm vodka.

I was happily sipping on mine and listening in to The conversations being had. Reinhardt's laughter booming from the corner with Torbjorn. Bastion and Winston happily chatting. I had my family back, I slightly curled into jacks arm and he put his shoulder around me. Hanzo shot me a look for a moment, and I gave him a questioning one back. I don't know if it was his big brother tendencies kicking in or what , but it's not my concern right now. I have more on my mind to be actually concerned about. Genji slid another drink my way and I happily accepted it, i couldn't let anything even a look ruin my night.

Ana walked over to me and began pulling my hair out of the messy bun, and started gently combing it with her hands.

"uh..." i started.

"i just haven't braided hair in awhile...and i might be a bit drunk" said Ana with a slight chuckle, as i felt relaxed by her gentle hand motions.

Lena glanced over "oi! no fair! i want my hair done Ana!"

" Oh hush, you can be next" said Ana "although i'm pretty sure your hair is permanently structured as it is"

"There" said Ana as she flipped the end of the braid in front of my shoulder.

Lena bounced over and sat in-front of Ana "oh Lena... this is impossible. do you use cement?"

" Naw! glue!" she said with a cocky grin, as she burst into laughter grabbing McCree's drink. "oh! do Jesse's hair! please please!"

Jesse dismissively waved a hand, and Ana got on a wicked smile and snuck over to him, popped his hat off and pushed his back with an elbow, then held the arm in place while braiding with one hand. Lena bounced over and held him down as best as she could while Ana quickly braided.

"Hurry Ana, i'm not sure how long i can hold him for!" she squealed.

"i'm on it" said Ana chuckling.

"This has turned into quiet the ambush" spoke a muffled Jesse.

"there! done!" said Ana with a look of pride as she backed away, a perfectly even french braid was done.

Jesse shook around a bit "hey, i'll reckon this works" as he slid his hat back on.

"why do yeh think i braid my hair?" said Torbjorn from the corner of the room.

Hana was loudly shouting with Lucio as Lena cheered them on in their games.

" I learned how to play star craft today" said Genji, he sounded perky.

Lucio looked over " hey man then come and join us?! The more the merrier. We are trying to teach Lena as well"

Genji stood up and joined leaving Jesse, Hanzo, jack, Ana and I to talk.

"Hanzo it is good of you to join us" said Ana kindly.

Hanzo took a drink and half smiled, which for him was a full smile. But to those who don't know him it might seem slightly Smug.

" to restore favor in the eyes of my brother and his friends is an honor to me " he replied.

" I'll drink to that" said Jesse as he tipped back his drink, it was good of him to partake in sake since he is usually a whiskey or rum kind of guy.

" Hanzo you already have restored your good name to me " I said with a smile to him. He looked down and nodded taking another gulp.

" when I was told that you may be a person of talons interest I couldn't ignore his request either" he responded. I frowned slightly

" we aren't sure of that yet " I replied slightly bitterly.

" but it doesn't hurt to be careful and have more fighters" said jack.

" yeah doc. Take it as a compliment. We are all willing to fight for you " said Jesse. I felt my nails digging into my palms. I want them to fight for humanity, and I know they do but they don't need to say this.

" and the rights of other humans and onmics" added jack as he reached for my clenched hands under the table.

" well yeah " said Jesse.

"Very well stated" said Ana.

Genji, Hana and Lucio started shouting loudly.

" don't let her win!" Shouted Lucio.

" I am doing my best!" Said Genji loudly.

" be victorious brother!" Yelled Hanzo a smirk etched onto his face.

Aw crap I cannot cheer for one over the other.

Hana was chewing her lip furiously, in between insulting Genji, even bastion was chirping happily.

" AHA I WIN!" Shouted Hana bouncing around. Genji shrugged and returned to the table, Hanzo refilled his cup and slid it to him.

Genji popped open his mask a to take a drink exposing his slightly flushed cheeks.

" you did well Genji" i said, shooting a smile his way.

" it is only my first day playing" he said.

" and you took on the star craft champion " said Lucio.

" hey. I'm sitting right here!" Argued Hana.

" and?" Asked Lucio.

" and I am a bit drunk" she admitted.

" aw don't let that take his near win away" Jesse argued.

Lena nodded and tipped back her drink " yeah Genji you did great".

Winston yawned and looked at all of us with a look of sheer happiness on his sleepy face.

" team, I wanted to thank you all for being here, I must however get some rest for the evening, tomorrow we can have a noon meeting if that sounds good?" He asked.

Various okay and yeses were heard and I nodded in agreement.

As he padded off to bed and bastion followed.

Genji refilled my cup again. I felt warm but still not drunk, jacks hand softly stroking mine.

" I heard something about your daughter joining us as well?" Said Hanzo.

Ana glanced down for a moment " yes, she is currently on a mission but she is part of this organization now"

" are there more agents with her or just her?"

" she is capable of taking care of the situation on her own" said Ana.

My gut felt so knotted, like a straw twisting out of shape.

" I uh. I'll be back" I said softly. Digging through my pockets for my cigarettes, Jesse tossed me a lighter.

" you can just smoke in here you know" he said taking a puff of his cigar.

" ah. I just need air" I stammered. Ha. Going outside to smoke to get air... the irony.

Jack softly asked if I wanted company. I just nodded and continued walking. He opened the door for me and we climbed onto the roof. Settling into his side and lighting up my cigarette. The bitter taste calming me as I exhaled, watching the smoke swirl.

" you okay darling?" He said after awhile.

No.

" I'm fine" I lied.

" you know Ange you are so good at do many things but lying... not one of your talents " he said with a slight chuckle

" I know" I exhaled watching the cloud swirl again.

" I just... I feel guilty. "

" you shouldn't"

" yeah but I do, I feel so guilty. People risking their lives for my... our kid. Apparently Hanzo joining mostly to protect me. It's just, it's a lot.

I just want to save lives. Not destroy them. " a lump formed in my throat. It steadily lessened as his fingers tips traced my cheekbones.

I took another drag, hands shakily meeting my mouth, get a grip Ziegler.

" remember when you refused to carry a gun or even be trained?" He asked

I nodded.

" well. After you realized the risk you learned, you are still learning but you know how to handle yourself. He was probably expressing that he is worried about you, and that gave him a strong desire to join. There's nothing wrong with people caring about you, I mean if you don't then someone's got to do it. You aren't hurting people Angela, you ARE helping people. You have been helping people for longer than most. "

I sighed, taking a last drag off the ending cigarette and crushed it.

" thank you"I softly said

" anytime, your inability to see what you accomplish and the important things you do is so insane"

" I guess we should head back in before they get suspicious about my leaving reasoning "

" it's whatever you want to do. I doubt they are speculating. They are pretty drunk afterall" he teased. We stood up and went back inside, his arm around my waist.

" awwwwwwww" shrieked Hana as we approached.

" yeah they are pretty cute" said Lucio looking back at his game. I blushed and Jesse and Lena were getting up.

" meeting at hiiiiiiigh noon" teased Lena. Jesse shook his head and tipped his hat to us as Lena shouted good night.

" oh Angela. Your boxes are on the craft still, we can grab them for you tonight or worry about it tomorrow" said Hanzo.

" tomorrow will probably be better. " I said

" I can give you a hand if you need it" said jack.

" I don't but it will be accomplished faster with the two of us , since I believe my brother is far too involved with his game " said Hanzo.

" ah. I need to prep something for you, so you guys can do that. And I'll get something ready" I muttered. Just now remembering his meds and mine.

They nodded and walked off together.

I headed to my office and locked the door. At some point I do need to tell him , ugh. I slid the needle into my skin. I'm of so sure if I need to regularly take this anymore, but I would rather do this frequently than risk anything.

Disposing of the needle I prepped jacks medication and carried it to my room. Jack and Hanzo were holding boxes and waiting , making small talk about my pack rat tendencies.

Holding onto my memories was important, so many lives lost and this is what I had.

I opened the door and they placed them in the one empty corner. Then dashed off to get more.

When I packed these I tried to shut out my memories of jack, now he's alive and in my life... a slight chill ran down my body. They put in more boxes. And more. Finally they finished and I said goodnight to Hanzo. Jack closed the door and took off his mask.

" what is all this stuff?" He asked.

" memories. And clothes. Maybe shoes "

" oh my god not shoes" he laughed.

" if you are referencing the great overwatch shoe debate again you can drop it!"

" oh but angel. It's so important to never forget"

Jerk. Just because I could only run in heels, which makes almost zero sense from a medical standpoint, but you give me flats and I fall all over the place. Wearing high boots on the field was a huge overwatch debate. I shook my head.

" I have your medication"

He sighed and held out an arm while I injected him. Then capped and disposed of the needle.

He glanced at my boxes again.

" you are curious" I said raising an eyebrow.

" well wouldn't you be?"

I laughed slightly looking at him.

He just shrugged.

" tomorrow my love. I am tired" I didn't want to dig through some painful stuff. I had a storage unit somewhere with a lot of my parents things. But some I took with me when I joined. I knew he knew, but he still had this adorable sense of curiosity that I love about him.

He pulled me into bed and held me tight to him. His warmth calming me down, and he kissed my lips.

" I hope I didn't upset you"

" you didn't. I was going to be slightly unnerved regardless, but I love you " I whispered into his ear.

 **A/N: i wanted to thank you all again, i sound like a record, but seriously. Thank you for reading this, thank you for commenting, messaging, favoriting and following! it brings me a huge amount of joy. I can sorta write fic apparently, but when i type as myself i turn into a pile of goop. So... thank you! for real. I don't want to go all sappy on all of you, but damn. Thanks for the support, it truly helps me so much**


	35. Chapter 35

He wasn't there when I woke up but a message was on my phone.

" didn't want to wake you. You were drooling and looking so beautiful at the same time. Your abilities never cease to amaze me. I love you. Meeting at noon. "

Ugh. Meeting... I rubbed my temples, the stress was slightly elevated. The boxes taunting me from the corner, you try so hard to run from your past , from the things that have happened. From things that shaped you into who you are, and you know that. However it still stings, burns and brings up the shaky stomach clenching fear that ghosts will always be there. Always following to torment you.

I lit a cigarette as I dressed, and applied my makeup. sitting on the counter in the bathroom as I ashed into the sink. My face hasn't changed in years more like a decade... almost two. my hair was really bothering me. Is it safety reasons or is it trying so hard to avoid who I was? Wanting to change something since my face won't... or hiding myself. Probably both. Exhaling smoke I noticed my nails digging into my skin, little fingernail blood spots appeared... fuck. What is going on with me. I'm happy. I'm happy. I know I'm happy, I have my family back... but for how long? How long until someone threatens us again? My own parents sacrificed their lives for the cause and I don't think had a second thought about me...

A soft knock was heard at the door.

I glanced down at my phone, twenty minutes til noon.

I put out the butt of my cigarette. Running it underwater and tossing the butt into a cup.

Carefully I cracked the door, just jack.i let him in and he removed his mask.

" were you..." he started.

I cut him off with a kiss.

He pulled away after a moment stroking under my chin.

" Angela I do believe you are avoiding the question " he said with a slight smirk.

"I would never " I said looking at him guiltily.

" I'm sorry, it's just so bizarre to me" he said

" what?! "

" you. Doctor Angela smoking" he said while shaking his head slightly.

" yeah... it calms me down and I'm working on something " I muttered.

" ah yes. The ' something' you are working on" he teased.

" it's science stuff you wouldn't get it" I lightly punched his arm.

" hey... I'm not a typical meat head" he pouted.

" oh no no. You aren't. It's just complex" I leaned up to kiss his nose. Without my heels it was tough, he caught on and picked me up effortlessly as I kissed up his cheeks.

" are you just trying to make me feel better?" He asked his blue eyes slowly closing as I kissed his lips. My legs wrapping around his hips.

" maybe" I said softly as I broke out of the kiss. My arms around his broad shoulders.

His pocket started vibrating, I lightly moaned and he gently set me down.

" ah. Five minutes til the meeting angel" he said turning off the alarm.

He kissed me, then pulled away " get your shoes on and let's go" he said in a commanding tone. I arched an eyebrow sliding on my heels. He was always punctual. We walked to the room and Winston was already there with bastion.

He happily waved at us whirring while jack and I took our seats.

Slowly the team arrived. Hana and Lucio looking like hungover kids. I'll have to check them for dehydration later. Those energy drinks they chug don't do them any favors. Oh wait. I have to check on Hana and Hanzo later anyways because injections and health evaluations.

" so team. It appears that more threats are happening in Dorado. Los muertos has been dealt with a lot by our very own soldier 76, however the onmiacs are being targeted more and more and the civil unrest there is still bad. So I was thinking we could head there either tonight or tomorrow night. I would rather work by the darkness. Because that's when they work, however I don't feel comfortable with just deploying there without some basic training as a team. " said Winston.

I shuddered slightly, my last work there was tough.

" Angela, you will be coming despite my wariness... however I want you to remain back in the craft with Winston, but working on your defense would be helpful, so 76 if you could work with them some more it would be appreciated. Lucio you need to work on your in field healing as well... torbjorn has been working on setting up a good practice range for healing, Angela you could walk him through healing strategy "

" not a problem " said jack gruffly.

" I will train more, and Lucio I will be more than happy to help you" I said with a forced smile. I wanted to help him, but I'm still worried about him being the only other healer besides Ana. She was more of sniper.

" oh. I'm going to need Hana and Hanzo once this is over , medical evaluation "

Hanzo nodded, and Hana looked up with a slight look of fear " does this mean shots?"

" ah yes. But once you have it you are good for a long long time. " I comforted. She frowned.

" you can bring Lucio for support. He put up quite the struggle" I teased.

Lucio frowned and Hana smiled " ha! No way" she laughed.

" hey that is breaking doctor patient confidentiality" he grumbled.

" I hardly find it a secret since we were all involved in that fiasco" said Ana bluntly.

Jack shifted uncomfortably, fuck. Probably not the best thing for us to bring up.

" okay. So tomorrow night then" said Winston. " unless something happens before then"

We nodded, jack turned to me " once you are done you can meet me and bastion in the range. tell Lucio to show up about an hour after you, I'll update Winston on it seems he has an idea because he stationed you with bastion " he said.

" sounds fine" I said squeezing his hand before walking to Hana and Hanzo.

Their check ups went normal. Hana squirmed a lot and Lucio distracted her thankfully.

Hanzo was stoic the entire time, I knew his medical history since I gave him regular checks when he would visit. Goodness knows I've patched up his wounds a lot.

I headed to the range hearing jack softly talking as I entered.

Bastion whirred softly at me. Holding up his little holo pad that read " hello Angela "

" hello darling" I said to Jack then turned to bastion " hello my wonderful friend" I said with a smile.

Bastion made a happy noise.

" he let me fire my pulse rifle a few times. But... your blaster might be more appropriate. He hit the targets perfectly"

" not a problem, bastion it makes a softer noise okay? I'm just going to load it and fire in a moment. If you need me to stop I will. "

Bastion whirred sounding slightly scared.

I stepped away to load my blaster, when I returned I heard jack softly speaking to him again.

Bastion sounded calmer as I told him I was going to start.

I fired a few, and he started getting agitated.

" give us a minute" said jack. I walked over to the bench and thought over some strategy notes to help Lucio.

"Okay angel. Go into the range , I'm going to run the practice firing bots. So you need to dodge and fire"

" are you sure this is..." I said arching a brow looking at bastion.

" it's fine. I have it set up for slow fire" he said.

I loaded my blaster and walked in taking a breath.

Bastion was anxiously whirring behind me.

" okay go" said jack.

I darted around avoided shots. Bastion started fully panicking. So jack turned it off and spoke to him again. I guess I'll just stand here then... Fiddling with my blaster and looking at the set up. It was interesting to say the least. You could see the health bars and stuff. I hadn't trained with ones like this in ages. Bastion started chirping as Lucio came in.

They exchanged hellos and bastion walked out.

" alright alright I'm here!" Said Lucio happily.

" okay, so you need to be careful. But since you are a fighter and healer you need to-"

" fighter and a healer!"he sang out.

I arched a brow.

Jack shook his head sighing.

" you need to focus" said jack

" man I am focused! This is how I focus!" Argued Lucio.

I just looked at both of them and sighed heavily.

" okay! So... mccree usually gets hit the most, don't ask me why, he just does... Genji gets internally impacted harder so it registers differently on him. Sometimes he panics... not so much anymore, but that's something I need to work on tweaking. Hana should be fine without your help frequently. Uhmmmm j- 76 will be fine most of the time due to his biotech field. Torbjorn and Reinhardt are usually pretty good but make sure to help him when his shield is up, as he has more vulnerabilities to his back during that time. Normally he puts it down but eh ... he is stubborn. " I said.

" okay I got it. " he said. Turning on his device he skated out into the range. I sat back with jack as he started the simulator.

He did okay. Not great but okay. Which cause my stomach to knot. I'm relying on him to take care of those I love. I felt my brows furrowing.

" again" called out jack.

This continued for quite some time...: he would mildly improve then completely miss his marks.

" calm down angel, he will get this" said jack while I dug my nails into my palms.

" I should be the one out there"

" well that's not a risk we are willing to take right now, the fact you are allowed to come is-"

" wait. Wait. Did you meet with Winston this morning?" His implication was hinting at it. Especially leaving while I was asleep. Fuck. Or am I being paranoid?

He let out a sigh.

" Angela this isn't the time to discuss this"

" so I'm right. You did!"

" Angela! " shouted Lucio happily.

" not now! " I yelled.

" fine. Yes... you are lucky you are allowed to come at all!" He hissed.

I could feel my heart pounding. I wanted to scream, I wanted to know what exactly was said. I hate this. I always hated this , jack would always go and fix things for me, or make safety modifications in place for me. Instead I just angrily stomped around for a moment trying to hold back a scream. I'm acting like a child, ugh.

I walked back over to jack and whispered " how the hell do you expect him to take care of everyone?"

Jack slightly laughed.

"What?"

" he just did" he said showing me the notes from Athena. Sure a few hits and minor injuries but... overall basics were taken care of.

I slumped back onto the bench.

Lucio was dancing to his music his device made, oblivious to my minor breakdown.

" good job kid, try running through it a few more times and then you can leave" said jack.

Lucio gave him a thumbs up and went back to practice.

Jack sat next to me and softly spoke

" look, he's going to do fine, as long as he focuses. Plus you will still be there incase any large injuries happen. It's going to be okay"

" it just. It sucks"

" I know, but you know what would be worse than not having you on the field ? "

I frowned at him

" not having you at all" he said " and that's horribly cliche of me"

" mein gott! You said cliche " I exclaimed.

He laughed " I blame you and Lena "

" she would be so proud" I said.

We watched Lucio work his way around again and again before letting him go. He was doing well, and I should trust him and the decision that was made it's just hard.

" at the end of the day it's important that we all survive. Having more life saving tech is important, even when you are on the field you cannot be helping everyone at once. That's why you made the biotech field, just channel your emotions into more healing tech like that"

" ugh. You are correct. As usual"

" part of my charm"

Felt my eyes rolling.

" sweet" he teased.

I made a slightly annoyed growl and walked back over to watch Lucio closely.

He was happily skating about switching between healing and fighting. I will admit slight jealousy. He was fast, he could switch easily between his two tools, he's going to be great. Why the jealously though...

Once he finished another round he skated over to us.

" well?!" He asked

I looked over the results with jack. Not that we needed too since we kept looking back and forth between him and the evaluation.

" you did well kid. " said jack gruffly.

" yes I am also quite impressed, good work" I said. I felt robotic when this should be a happy moment, like this is exciting more ways to heal people and the ones I love. The only big worry is he has no medical knowledge... but everyone knows by now to alert me of any injuries. I'm going to stop this internal power struggle... somehow.

" I mean did I really ?" Asked Lucio tapping a skate.

Jack handed him the holopad containing results and the progress he made.

" woah! I was on fire" he happily cheered.

" don't let it go to your head, on the field it will be different and you need to constantly stay alert" said jack.

" you got it. Am I done here for the day?" Asked Lucio.

I shrugged and jack replied " go rest up".

Hana peaked her head in " are you done?!" She asked.

" yeah! Come check out my

Scores!" He happily said. Jack handed the holopad to him again and I half smiled.

Hana was bouncing over, I really need to find out how to recreate her energy, then again it's probably all the sugars.

" pffft. I could so beat you !" Said Hana looking at the holopad.

" oh yeah?! " said Lucio.

" you two do two completely different things, I don't think there's any real accurate way to prove anything " I said.

Hana frowned and looked back at the holopad.

" alright. You ready to go?" Asked Hana to him after a minute.

" yeah yeah" he responded.

" oh hey you two need to actually get sleep tonight. And maybe eat something other than sugar?" I suggested.

Hana scrunched up her face and frowned

" okay fine mom" said Lucio

I glared.

" ooooooh! That's perfect! We will be good moooom" said Hana giggling.

I groaned and leaned into jack.

" oh wait! It's mom and dad!" Laughed Hana harder.

" I'm not your father" grumbled jack.

" sorry! It's your name now!" Hana said with a smile.

" you... you can't be serious" sighed jack.

" go to bed children" I said

Lucio shook his head and walked off with Hana.

" so do you need me to run through that again or?"

" yep, get in there" he said and smacked my ass as I headed for the range.

" not. Fair" I uttered.

" I figure it helped so much last time"

" true ..." I replied as he started up the range.

I spent the next hour running around dodging and firing.

" Ange I wanted to check on your self defense too" he said as I sat on the bench.

He glanced over at the mats and I sighed. I was terrible at hand to hand combat. But back in the day he taught me after I failed and freaked out on Reyes. Reyes had a way too tough approach. That is what you need in combat. But not with basics, jack took over for him. Ugh Reyes... the whole damn reason I'm being held back.

We stood on the mat and jack charged. I was in a tight hold by him and started thrashing, before swinging my elbow up and smacking between his ribs.

" very good" he said as he let go and did this a few more times. Each time I got more and more furious as I thought about that stupid asshole Reyes.

I got stuck a few times trying to break free but jack carefully instructed me how to get out as we went through the motions.

I zoned for a moment, my mind wandering, and I swung a bit too hard into his neck.

" fuck!" He shouted.

" sorry sorry"

" no it's fine" he said while rubbing his neck " that was good, I think that's enough for today"

His hands pulled off his mask for a moment, due to all the training today it was better if he kept it on. His hand cupped my face as he pulled me into a kiss. I want to take this and him back to the room...

"I love you" he said as he pulled his face away.

" aw I love you too" I breathed.

" you should also get some rest. I know you probably have stuff to prepare" he said while gently planting a kiss on my hair.

" we have til tomorrow evening " I pouted.

" now that doesn't sound like the doctor I love" his lips curled into a smirk.

" you are right... I have stuff to do" I should prep my medical gear, check that I have all I'll need. I kissed him and rushed off to get prepped.

I heard Lucio and Hana yelling excitedly in the main area. They had put up their games on the wall and were lounging on pillows and stuffing their faces with snacks.

Lena popped up behind me " they are quite the adorable pair arent they?!" She giggled.

" they really are. It's very sweet" I commented with a slight smile.

" overwatch sure is different now! Before we wouldn't be caught even holding hands! " she laughed. Then looked at me.

" oh Ange. I shouldn't bring that stuff up I'm sorry"

" it's really fine. " I said softly.

" well ya seem to be doing better! I mean that soldier fellow he's fit isn't he?"

" I'll say!" I slightly blushed.

" I am sorry though. I need to watch my big ol mouth. I'm used to being with filterless Jesse!" She giggled again.

" Lena. I would never ask you to change who you are" sincerity pouring from my words. She gave me a big hug rocking us from side to side.

" anyways I should probably let you get to it " her eyes twinkling.

" oh I just have stuff to prep that's it, I don't mind talking for a bit"

" naw I got things to screw... er do!"

" alright then!" My laughter coming out in between my words.

She laughed and hopped off.

As I went to the lab to grab the un-maker and some serums. Carefully putting them into my large medical bag. These items would become staples for my kits from now on. I also mixed jacks medication, slipping it into my pocket.

As I walked back to my room Lucio and Hana were chattering loudly. So cute, and young and strangely perfect for each other.

" hey no way I totally could beat you at anything!" Argued Hana.

" not EVERYTHING" shouted Lucio.

" uh yeah! Haven't you seen how many times I've owned you in every game?" She giggled.

" oh yeah?! You. Me. Rockband. " said Lucio happily.

" hey that's not fair. and it's so retro! " she pouted

" oh totally fair! You said everything!"

" oh it's on!" She yelped.

They continued arguing down the hallway, as I opened the door to my room I was greeted by the boxes. Poking them to see which one would be the least upsetting. Settling on the shoes or what feels like shoes box I opened it. A smile forming as my shoes tumbled out. The most ridiculous pair was neatly wrapped up. My thigh high boots, they are so deliciously ridiculous, but I had a lot of fun nights in them. Stepping into the shower and rinsing off. Then sliding into my robe. I heard a familiar knock.

" come in" I left it unlocked knowing that we pretty much shared the room now. He would lock it once he entered which he did.

" oh hey... shoes..."

" ah! No. My collection of shoes " I corrected. He walked over to where I was seated and spotted the thigh high ones.

A smile crept onto his face, as he leaned into a kiss. His soft lips with slight stubble surrounding them encompassing and intoxicating.

" we will have to revisit those later" he whispered into my ear.

" or now?" I asked softly.

He groaned slightly.

" I wish, but I'm actually exhausted. "

His hands traced my body, sliding over the silk. Then gently lifted my chin and kissed down my neck.

" if you are too tired then this is torture " My voice came out whiny.

" sorry angel" he kissed my lips " I should probably shower then you can give me my shot"

" alright, I'll put these away" God Angela try to not sound so bitter. He disappeared into the bathroom, the water running enticed me but I have things to do. Carefully organizing the shoes in the closet and tossing the dirty clothes into the hamper. Yes, I am an actual mess of a human. But I feel that was a more normal level of mess. Not my usual papers everywhere and pinned on large boards with no rhyme or reason. I dropped a box as I was putting it into the closet. Scheisse! I could hear the water turning off as I scrambled to shove various photos and research papers into a box. I coded all my secret stuff but fuck.

" are you okay?" He asked beyond the door.

" uhhhh yes. Perfectly fine. " I responded. No secrets, this stuff isn't a secret. Just painful... finally putting the last bits of things back into the box and sliding it into the closet when the door opened.

" did you drop something? I could have helped you move those" he said. His mostly naked body standing in front of me...

" huh what? "

He slightly laughed and scooped me up, carrying me to the bed.

" I believe it's time for my medication" he said.

" uh huh" I reached for the kit on the nightstand and prepped his arm then injected him.

" you okay?"

" yeah... I just. Your body" I stammered.

" well get over here and let me hold you " he said.

As I disposed of the needle I hopped into bed with him, he pulled me close and rested his chin on my head as I listened to his powerful heartbeat slow into rest.

When suddenly a loud alarm went off.

" heading to dorado, massive attack is happening. All team members grab your gear and report to the jet " came Winston's worried voice.

 **A/N: Hey! so i adore all of you who continuously have been reading this, i know i seem unsure most of the time, so i try to channel that into my writing. So that's probably why i worry so much about producing decent chapters! Anyways! thank you so much for reading and being such awesome support! 3**


	36. Chapter 36

The alarm was loud, as jack and I pounced out of bed. It has been so long since an emergency call.

He started putting on his clothes, his face looking stressed out. I slipped into my tank and leggings. My gear was luckily already on board.

Jack was slightly shaking, I reached out and held him for a moment. His heart was pounding.

" jack, it's okay. We got this my love" I comforted as best as I could. He kissed my cheek.

" angel we need to head out" he said as he put on his mask. We raced down the hall. Lucio and Hana were slowly making their way along with us. They better have gotten some rest. Jack and I at least had an hour of rest. Everyone was scrambling and bastion was worriedly beeping. Jack walked over to him as we all boarded.

" I'm staying back to keep watch on the base. " said Winston as he smiled worriedly.

" please everyone stay safe and in contact. Bastion will remain on the jet with Angela. But he will be able to be in contact with you. If you put on your comms." Said Winston, his face showed worry as well.

" you are all the best at what you do. I have full confidence. If you cannot handle it back out or call for your team"

" here is a test sample of bastions voice programming so you don't worry that the comms are being tampered with " said Winston.

" hello team" came a familiar voice.

" woah woah wait, hold up! Did you use jarvis' voice?" Said Lucio.

Winston laughed " I couldn't resist, I didn't want to use athena's voice, alright team. Be safe"

He walked out and waved as the doors closed.

" seventy-six, Winston just sent me the current attack map. We should probably go over strategy " said Ana to jack. They hovered over maps as I looked over at Lucio and Hana. She looked slightly excited and anxious, as Lucio was comforting her. Adorable.

Hanzo was softly talking with Genji, when they noticed me looking over for a moment. Hanzo motioned at me to join them. As they scooted apart making room for me to sit in between them.

Part of me just wanted to curl up like we used too, sounds so weird and strange. But I was really lonely back then and they knew it, never really questioning my need for some form of human touch and comfort. Especially all the medical field work i was doing, the stress of being followed, just everything, they knew. Hanzo was always a bit more reserved. But sometimes I would drift asleep and find him pulling a blanket over me. Then I would almost start sobbing because that's what jack would have anyways done. Ugh. I'm getting emotional again. Keep it together, keep it together.

" clear your mind. Concentrate. " said Genji softly. Hanzo gently cleared his throat " I wonder what is going on over there" he said as he pulled out his phone to check the news.

He held it out for Genji and into view. This wasn't easy to see. Fires , explosions, bodies and onmic bodies.

" mein gott" I uttered. My chest tightening, no matter how many dead bodies i had seen in my life, it doesn't really get easier. You learn to adapt, but sometimes the surface of bravery cracks, you can set it aside as you work, but when you get a minute to think about it... it can break you.

"This seems worse than what we were led on to believe" uttered Hanzo, his eyes darting over to Ana and Jack.

"sometimes we go in unaware of the full situation, this isn't how it used to be, we used to have more suppliers of information" said Genji.

" I'm sorry. I cannot watch this" I said getting up and walking back to my original seat. There would be people needing medical attention, yet I'm supposed to remain back. I lit a cigarette and Jesse looked over at me. His eyes shadowed by his hat, but his cigar reflecting in his eyes.

Reinhardt had joined in the conversation with Ana and jack. I can deal with this. I can be calm and strategic. I exhaled and tried to stop my hands from shaking. I have to handle sitting back, and not doing anything. I can do this...

" listen up. We will be moving in groups. Seventy-Six will have Reinhardt, Lucio, Lena and Hana. I will have Torbjorn, Hanzo, Genji and Jesse. However. I might need Lucio to join up at some point. Our groups will never stray too far from each other. Obviously Angela and bastion will be back here. If your injuries are too severe you NEED to let us know, you will come back and Angela will handle it. Otherwise I am more that qualified, 76 has his biotech fields and Lucio obviously has the ability to heal. This doesn't look good from any standpoint, it's going to be bad. Try to avoid getting involved with any contact other than lose muertos. We don't know what the exact reason is behind this and that is a problem. However we will be gathering Intel and handling it as best we can. We need to get the innocent out of the areas of attack. If you see something report it. "

I hadn't seen a look of fear on her face in awhile. But she had one, she started rustling around for her gear, pulling out a mask we hadn't seen before.

" also don't be worried. I just am taking extra precaution. Since I'm supposed to be dead"

" do yeh think talon is involved?" Asked Torbjorn.

" it's a possibility. " said jack. His left hand was twitching, he hadn't done that since starting his medication...

after some discussion between each other jack came over. I grabbed his hand immediately, he tried to pull away but relented and carefully stroked mine with his thumb.

" almost there loves" said Lena. Her voice slightly shook.

What the hell is going on with us. Nerves are normal and natural, but this is the most anxious I have seen our crew ever. We did just add new recruits, Hana was making me the most nervous, she was so young...

We landed outside of the smoke filled city.

"i love you" i whispered to Jack, not that it mattered what volume i spoke in, Jack squeezed my hand.

"Stay here, and stay safe, anything happens let us know, i love you too" he said gruffly, as they all jumped off running in their own directions. I could hear their chatter in the communicators.

" this is a mess" said Lena.

" just follow me. You want the ones with the skulls that glow" said jack. " but get these people to safety".

Fuck. How many injured? How many must die? Because of medical attention they need... normally I would be out there. Helping the injured, it's not like Ana or Lucio have medical knowledge. Bastion whirred next to me as Ganymede chirped out a little tune.

" word that the founder of lumerico has allegedly been working with vishkar-" said Winston.

" bastards" angrily spat Lucio.

" wait Winston. What should we be doing then?" Said Ana.

" so it's an uprising... los muertos is supporting the hacker... " said jack, I could hear gunshots in the background.

" so who exactly should we be fighting, because I'm sorry. I'm against vishkar. " said Lucio.

" I understand, just because someone leaked information that is helpful at exposing corporate corruption doesn't make them good. But it also doesn't make the corporation good" said Ana into her comm.

" so what do we do?" Asked Lena.

" get the people to safety, and get out. If you see los muertos take them out, we went over this" said jack gruffly. He sounded beyond agitated.

Another explosion went off,Bastion was panicking, and I could hear screaming, everyone's medical alerts were fine so it must be out there.

Fuck. I cannot idly sit here while people are dying.

" get behind me" shouted Reinhardt

"i'm fine, just some light damage" replied Hana, you could hear a twinge of fear in her voice.

"don't worry i got your back" said Lucio. Thank goodness... i know Jack also has the biotech fields, but i can still worry.

Lighting up another smoke I paced,First and foremost I'm a doctor. I have a code, I have been in hundreds of situations like this... not really alone but. My eyes glanced at bastion.

He whirred worriedly.

" I have to do something..."

" we are to remain here" said bastion. His voice would have made me smile, but not now.

" but sometimes you have to disobey to do the right thing" I said exhaling.

" we are to stay here" repeated bastion.

I heard more screams.

" I... I can't do it. " my legs collapsed under me, warm tears running down my face.

" my friend. What is wrong?"

"it's like a massacre out here" said Lucio softly

"Just focus on moving people out" Said Jack gruffly, his voice sounded strained.

" I'm a doctor. It's what I do ! I don't just sit here while my friends are out there risking their lives. I don't just. Sit here while innocent people die..." my voice cracked.

Bastion made a sad noise, I flicked my cigarette outside and put on the rest of my suit.

" I cannot stay here. " I said. As I felt my feet hitting the floor

" Angela. Come back here! We are to remain here" said bastion.

" you stay here. If I need you I'll let you know"

Fuck. He's not backup material yet. Another explosion was heard.

I stood in the doorway as the smoke burned my eyes, soot mixing with tears.

" I'm sorry " I said as I ran towards the screams. I had my comm off, i could hear but no one could hear me luckily, as for Bastion i don't know, but i doubt it.

My throat felt tight as I ran towards the moaning in pain. Various limbs scattered around the explosion site. Shrapnel embedded into the severed parts. These are homemade bombs...

My comm was buzzing with various comments of the team. Each encountering various los muertos members.

Through the smoke I saw something moving, " hello?" I softly called out.

I heard something in Spanish.

 **( A/N:I'm terrible at Spanish. So I'm just going to have this all written in English it's much better than me attempting it right now)**

"Hello! Please help us" came a voice. I got closer

" are you hurt?"

" my leg... my grandmothers not doing well. Please. I cannot move her alone"

I walked closer. It was true. A young girl and her grandmother lying in a pile of rubble. The girls leg covered in ash and blood. Jagged metal bits sticking out.

" okay, you are alright now... " I softly said. Pulling out my medical kit and cleaning off the leg injuries.

" are you allergic to anything?" I asked.

" no"

" I'm going to remove these bits. It might hurt" I said. As I started pulling out chunks of shrapnel, the girl winced in pain while her grandmother stroked her hand.

" I need healing" said Genji through the comm.

" administering medicine" said Ana. Genji hissed into the comm. most likely Ana's healing bullet.

"my turrets keep getting destroyed" grumbled Torbjorn, you could hear frantic hammering.

"pull back then, up where i am is clear, move two clicks south" said Ana.

I got the bits out of the girls leg and wrapped a bandage after fully cleaning the wounds. I could hear moans of pain in the distance.

" do you think you two can get out of here?" I asked the pair. They nodded as I helped them up. Watching as they walked away towards the hills. The ground was covered in devastation. Burning bits of what was housing. As I heard something crumbling near me. I darted out of the way and stumbled into more injuries people huddled.

" hello, I am a doctor. Who here needs medical attention?" A few people groaned. As I shined a light at them.

" are we able to get to a safer location so I can administer care?" I asked. Only half nodded. Scheisse.

" alright, those of you who can walk please help those who cannot"

The group mumbled and nodded, I used my light to direct them towards the hills. I heard more voices in the distance.

" I will join you in a minute I just need to check for more people" I said, trying not to panic. I need backup, someone to watch my back, or someone to help me medically treat people.

" looks like we have more incoming" said Hanzo.

" can you tell how many?" Asked jack

"i would say fifty" said Hanzo.

Scheisse scheisse, as I moved closer to the last location I heard moans at I only found bodies. Carefully touching their pulse points, still warm, no pulse... too late. I was too late. My eyes stung from smoke and tears. I felt my legs scramble through the rubble as I rushed to join the group I was helping. Trails of blood was etched along the path they took.

As I approached some of them looked on deaths door. I can do this. This is what I do.

I quickly set to work, instructions others how to help, getting a makeshift medical unit going, wound cleaning and tying off areas that needed stitches. They were messy but they would hold til they could get to a medical facility... if there still was a medical facility.

" my meka is being destroyed" shouted Hana.

" bail out" instructed Jack.

" no I got this!" Argued Hana.

"Head back to the flyer if you cannot defend anymore, that's an order" said Jack.

" i just need more healing" said Hana

"Get over here then" barked Jack.

Gunfire was echoing into my comm.

when suddenly I heard the EMP noise. I almost dropped the sterile needle I was stitching with.

I'm fine... it's a war zone this happens. It's fine, I'm fine, everything is fine. One stitch , two stitch... static ... three stitches. Come on Ziegler you got this.

" group fall back here" said jack grumpily into his comm.

" we need to get these people out and get out..." said Ana.

" agreed, there's still a few intact buildings, we will send them to the hills" replied jack.

I closed the wound and moved onto the next person. More stitches... blood was pouring out. Could it be an artery? Fuck. Fuck.

" here hold this for me please" I asked someone who was sitting near where I was crouching and working, handing them a flashlight.

" shine it directly onto the wound" I instructed. I pulled out some of my artery fix. A special glue I used, weird but effective. It fuses the artery back together, avoiding any messy surgery. I heard vomiting behind me as I carefully dug around the wound. Affixing the glue to the artery and letting it dry. The bleeding was stopped for the time being, as I stitched the exterior wound closed. I snapped off the gloves i was using after i cleaned the wound and sealed it completely.

I heard planes overhead and a light flashing happened.

" everyone move. Get into the caves ! Now!" I screamed.

People were grabbing each other working together. I couldn't hear much in my comm due to the commotion.

" okay that should be the last-ahhh" shouted Ana in pain.

" we are heading back unless you need us. This side has been cleared out. " said Ana.

" we could use the backup, still another group to get headed in the right direction " said jack.

" work together, clear the rest and get back to the jet" ordered Winston.

I saw groups of people running towards my group. Scheisse, more wounded. They approached, and I instructed the wounded to come to me, as I worked on removing bits and pieces of metal from their legs and such. I worked as fast as I could. We are all moving targets. What am I doing? I have unarmed injured people, no one to back me up. I ... another flash as I worked on a leg. Quickly using my liquid bond for the smaller wounds.

" if you are able, or if you are injured but have been seen, head to the caves. Please help each other and move " I ordered. My voice shaking. I cannot be responsible for death.

I had a few more injured to get through.

Only about five remained with me when I heard incoming fire.

My comm buzzed in my ear.

" little bird away from her flock?" Taunted a female voice.

" so foolish" she continued.

" heading back" came a garbled Hanzo voice.

" gunfire near the caves" said Genji.

I worked quickly on the last two wounded people, while the three healthy people waited to help.

" we need to move" I said. They nodded but then one fell... I could smell the gunfire residue.

" run. Please run"

" mercy mercy" shouted one of them.

" just go" I said pulling out my blaster.

I felt a shot hit my leg, another person got hit... fatally. I tried to clear my thoughts, i blindly shot in the direction of gunfire.

" oh little bird, making a mess I see " suddenly a woman appeared from nowhere.

" gotcha" she said with a wicked smile on her face. Pointing her gun at me, when a shurikin whizzed by me and landed into her shoulder.

" maybe later..." she laughed as she seemingly disappeared.

Arrows and shurikins flew through the air. Causing the other armed men to fall to the ground dead.

I turned and honed onto Genjis glowing figure, my wings expanded as i flew to him.

" foolish idiot" muttered Hanzo.

Genji grabbed my arm as we ran to the jet. I felt some bullets whizz past us. Hanzo ran backwards trying to find the source. They jumped onto the flyer but I tripped.

The female appeared again, along with other figures clothed in black. I felt and heard gunfire. Hanzo and Genji whipped around firing. Bastion was beeping frantically. When suddenly he dropped down and a turret appeared. He rolled out of the jet firing. As I regained control of my body and jumped inside the jet.

" we could use some back up" said Hanzo.

" we are on our way, we got attacked but the targets are eliminated" said jack.

" same on our way" said Ana.

Suddenly their shots were heard over the hills. The familiar helix rockets rained down. Bastion returned inside with Hanzo and Genji. They guarded the door.

" bastion you did ... wonderful " I said softly.

Genji turned to me "Angela you are bleeding!" He exclaimed rushing over to me.

" I'm fine it's just a scratch " I said, before looking at the blood trail.

Genji started removing my boots

" I'm fine I can handle it myself, ahhhh" I muttered in pain, stupid leg wounds.

" that is not what we saw" said Hanzo annoyed.

" what if we hadn't have been there?" He argued. Genji was cutting off part of my leggings. It was soaked with blood.

" I don't... I just " I couldn't argue with him. He was right...

"Angela. You were given an order and clearly you went against it. We want to protect you. But you are making it hard to do that" grunted Hanzo.

No exit wound, I grabbed my kit and started digging out the bullet, swearing in pain, some shrapnel lodged into my calf, my leg was a complete mess, i really should come up with something better medically for myself. I know this stuff will come out of me naturally, but for appearances i must remove as i they see it. I carefully wrapped my calf.

" Hanzo, you got injured as well" i gasped looking at his shoulder. I led him over to the small medical area i had set up as i extracted some shrapnel, carefully stitching him up as Torbjorn, Jesse and Lena jumped onto the flyer.

" bullocks! What happened here?" Shrieked Lena.

" nothing nothing. A stray bullet must have found me" I muttered.

" Ange! You are caked in blood!" She yelled.

"Well... i'm also tending to this wound, and god knows what else you guys got yourselves into" i mumbled as Lucio and Hana popped in. Hana stored her mech in the corner, Winston had gotten Torbjorn to create a holding area for it.

" watch your step" said Genji. The floor blood was drying.

Fuck. I should have rinsed off the blood. I quickly stripped off my armor and shoved it into the corner. Reinhardt and Ana jumped in along with jack. Fuck. Fuck.

" what happened?! Did they get in here?" Asked Ana.

Hanzo and Genji looked at me then exchanged looks, Hanzo sighed angrily and sat in place as i finished up the stitches.

"They didn't get in here..." said Genji.

" uhm. Does any one have any injuries?" I mumbled softly.

The doors closed as everyone just kind of laid around exhausted.

" Jesse got hit, as usual..." stated Lena. As she flipped a few controls.

" come here then" I said trying to sound as calm as possible. Jesse sauntered over showing me an injured shoulder. I carefully extracted the bullet and cleaned the wound, then dressed it. He returned to his seat and I cleaned off my face. Luckily I think my tears in the field cleaned most of the smoke. Jack and Ana were talking over what happened with Winston on the comms. It felt like so much time had passed. I was curled up on my seat, jack walked over and sat next to me.

" Angela. What the hell happened to your suit?" He said.

" and your leg " said Ana.

" I..." I started. Then I just couldn't. My voice felt frozen , my body felt cold and shaky and everything cramped. No no. Not anxiety. Please no.

" Angela " repeated jack.

" please not now" I whispered. Ana shook her head and huffed over to her seat. I could feel eyes staring me down.

Jacks hand was squeezing mine tighter and tighter.

" fuck" he grunted under his breathe. He couldn't yell at me. Not in front of everyone. That brought a minor relief, I just wanted to cry or throw up.

"what happened" he grumbled.

" i went into the field, i heard explosions, i couldn't just-"

"stop. We will discuss this once we return to the base" said jack as her rubbed his temples with one hand.

The rest of the flight was so quiet. Everyone was exhausted, and it felt as though nothing got resolved there. Sure we helped people get away, but the underlying threat was horrible. So far the target seemed to be just lumerico.

Once we landed everyone just scrambled to their rooms except Ana, jack and me.

We walked to Winston's room.

I tried to calm my nerves but nothing was working.

" why is Angela here?" Asked Winston. Post mission briefing I rarely was involved.

" apparently she went into the field" said Ana.

Winston frowned and spoke with frustration" what happened?"

I took a deep breath.

" I saw an explosion and I heard screaming-" my voice cracked as tears started to fall.

" I couldn't stop myself, I tried ,bastion tried. I'm sorry... I helped a few people to the caves, and supplied medical care..."

" is that all?"

" ...no. When I was about to finish with the last few people some shots rang out. And that woman's voice and body appeared" i tried to remain calm, but it wasn't working.

" what do you mean appeared"

" she appeared from out of air. She wasn't there. Then she was. "

" can you describe her?" Asked Ana.

" not really , purple hair? Spanish accent... " I frowned. I'm useless.

" what happened ?l"

" she taunted me, she had her soldiers fire at me and my people... some..." my voice trailed off.

" some lives were lost. Hanzo and Genji showed up and she disappeared. They got me out and that's about it. " I sighed.

" Angela. I cannot stress how foolish of a move that was. But I think right now you need rest. So you are dismissed, i will talk with Hanzo and Genji and see if they got a clear view of this woman you speak of" said Winston. I felt too weak to stand. My anxiety soaring through the roof.

" actually. Unless anyone has any more information about the mission, that wasn't discussed on the comm. then we will reconvene in the morning. But first I want a few words with Ana and 76 alone. " said Winston. I nodded. Walking back to my room, my eye was slightly twitching and my stomach felt cramped. Shower... or something should help... I smell of smoke and I feel caked in blood. I opened my door and went into the bathroom, stripping off my blood soaked clothes. Rinsing off before filling the tub and sinking into it. The warmth surrounding me as I relaxed. I don't deserve a moment of peace like this, but it's not like I'm relaxed. Running water over my hair and scrubbing out the dried blood as I showered off again. Slipping into my robe and drying my hair. The color thankfully fading. A soft knock was at the door and my heart sped up. I opened it and he walked in.

The door closed behind him and he pulled off his mask. His eyes looked exhausted and etched with worry.

" why angel ? Wait. I don't need to know. It's you. But... why " his voice cracked and he shook.

" I'm so sorry. I just. I felt so helpless and I heard screaming and I just. I couldn't let them die jack. I couldn't do it" I cried softly. Fuck. I don't want to reduce myself to just tears.

His hands ran up to my cheeks wiping away tears as they fell.

His body pressed against mine.

" why do you have to be so stupid sometimes?" he asked then he kissed me. As he pulled away he looked into my eyes.

" why did you have to do that?" Then he kissed me again.

" god you make me worry so much" he groaned. I wrapped my arms around his neck. He kissed me again stroking my cheek with one hand. His kiss felt gentle yet passionate.

He pulled away and rested his forehead against mine.

" I don't know what I would do if anything happened to you " his voice shook, and I kissed his lips. "please, angel, don't ever do that again, please" his voice cracked and his body shook as he held me tightly. If i didn't feel so horrible about the entire situation i probably would have dragged him to the bed. My face was pressed into his chest and his arms were holding me tighter, hands slowly sliding down my spine. He picked me up and carried me over to the bed. Gently placing me down and into the pillow nest we left this morning.

" get some rest angel, I need to shower as well. "

" I understand , you do smell of pulse munitions" I said forcing a smile. He gave me a kiss on the forehead and disappeared into the shower. I curled up on my side and tried to fall asleep. Why do I feel guilty for doing what I am supposed to do? Ugh. These damn obsessive thoughts constantly running around my mind. Tossing around trying to get comfortable when I felt him climb in next to me. His head resting in the crook of my neck as I curled my back closer into him, he carefully rested an arm on my waist.

" I'm mad at you. But I'm not mad at you at the same time. You just worry me " he said sadly

" I'm sorry..."

" don't be, just please obey orders next time. Please. Or at least have some sort of backup "

" bastion fired some shots" I said softly.

" really? That's good" said jack " I'll have to talk to him in the morning"

" Jack it is morning..."

" you know what I mean" he kissed my neck, gently tickling the hairs on the back of my neck.

" he went into turret form, and dashed out..." i whispered.

"was this while you were in the field, or ?"

" afterwards when Hanzo and Genji and i made it back to the craft, i fell, and she was there again..."

He was so quiet for a moment, i panicked again, but i could feel his heart pounding louder.

"was it the voice you heard before?" he asked.

"yes..." i softly said. He grunted and kissed my neck again, then rolled onto his back motioning for me to curl into him, i rested my head on his chest, one hand over his heart, while i softly hummed to him, i hadn't done this in years. It was a thing we would do when anxious, he would do it more to me, but he needed this, i needed this. I felt his heart rate return to normal, but my hair felt slightly damp. I knew he had fallen asleep, so i gently leaned up to kiss his cheek, faintly tasting salt on my lips as i curled my head back onto his chest. I could probably count the number of times he had cried on my hands in all the years i knew him, it was rare... i need to actually follow orders, this isn't original overwatch... this is different, we are beyond smaller in numbers. We have a family now, and i'm being reckless... but it's in my nature. His gentle heartbeat began lulling me into a sleep.

 **A/N: Sorry about the Spanish fiasco, like, i know some, but unlike German, where i just use a few phrases, i didn't want to attempt a language that i don't know, for an entire conversation. Anyways! another chapter! i hope you enjoyed, if you didn't let me know, or don't... or do? it's up to you.**

 **Thank you so much to all of your who are reading, i know i say that and this like...every chapter, but it truly means so much to me. It's been a long weird week, and hopefully you are all doing well.**


	37. Chapter 37

I woke up to him gently kicking me in my legs, I kissed his neck and he pulled away panicking.

" jack it's just me"

" sorry" he gruffly mumbled as he threw a muscled arm over me, pinning me in place as he snuggled against me. I tried to wiggle into a more comfortable position but he was out cold again. His soft snoring kicking in. Trapped, there couldn't be a better way to be trapped actually. Is it wrong to want to cry from happiness? after all these years to be able to do this again? back when i thought he was... i would have given anything for these moments again. Trying to hold back tears only caused me to shake slightly.

He stirred again, his eyes slowly opening and looking at me sleepily.

" you know... I love you" he said slightly slurred with sleep.

I smiled and kissed his arm,he yawned and smiled, his eyes now open fully., his hand stroking my naked sides.

" so" he rolled onto his side looking at me. " during the night..."

I lightly giggled " if you mean night by early morning then yes..." as a smile formed on my face. It had been a long time since a post mission, middle of the night wake up and go at it like the world was collapsing love making fest. He smiled and I swear almost blushed. My thighs still burned slightly from the friction. I fucking love this man so much.

" you still got it my love" I said with a smile.

" this old dog still has some new tricks" he joked as he kissed my cheek.

" hush you aren't old"

" ah but physically compared to you " he nudged me with his nose and stroked my hair. Shaking my head out, leaned into him kissing him gently.

" fuck what time is it" he sighed reaching for a phone.

The bright screen causing us both to flinch.

" shit... seven pm?" He mumbled.

" well we didn't get back til like. 9 am, then we probably didn't get to bed until maybe 11 am... " I muttered. " and then..." i slightly giggled and he kissed my cheek again.

"True" he then realized he was holding my phone and handed it to me. No messages or anything. I guess everyone was exhausted. Not surprising.

Our bodies shifted into each other, he held me while scrolling on his phone.

" shit ange" he muttered his voice sounded panicked.

" what is..." I asked but he held out his phone to me.

" is mercy back?" Read a headline of a small news organization.

A picture was there. I was mostly obscured by some people I was tending too. But the wings on my suit and my hair could be clearly seen.

" oh scheisse" I uttered.

Scanning the article :

" former head of medical research at overwatch may be back, or so it would seem according to some eye witness accounts. Her once blonde hair now black, but her appearance in dorado didn't go unnoticed by a few victims of the attacks during the night..."

My eyes skimmed down further.

"Once known for her breakthroughs in medical discovery,her ethics and personal morals questioned when overwatch was deemed a criminal organization. She was scheduled to stand before the ethics committee many times in the past, but failed to show up at the court. With overwatch criminalized will she be held accountable if administering medical attention ? Or is she just trying to help. While we cannot confirm it is her, we also cannot deny the similarities. "

I let out a loud sigh, I'm not sure I let out a breath the entire time I read.

" this is... not good" I groaned.

" it certainly is not" he replied, his brow furrowed " we should probably talk to Winston"

" he probably already knows"

" this was just published, maybe we can get it taken down?" He questioned as he started to put on clothes. I joined him, slipping on a dress and leggings.

As we walked to Winston's room hand in hand, I couldn't help but feel angry. Who the hell cares if I am back? Oh no not a doctor in war zones. Jack knocked on Winston's door, it opened and we walked in,His back was turned as he was frantically typing.

" Angela. I'm working on getting this removed. " he uttered sounding tired.

" luckily it's a small conspiracy news source, so the validity will be questioned regardless. But now you might be fresher in some people's minds"

I shifted from foot to foot, before just leaning into Jack's side, he hardly moved into it, but at least it was support.

" theoretically the worst that could come of this is just a doctor being in the field. Who formerly worked for overwatch, right?" mused Jack, i could hear hint of worry in his voice.

" well yes. But she is wearing our old tech. So that could raise a few questions, especially since she 'turned it in' during the trials, It's difficult to say what the worst scenario would be" Winston responded, still typing.

" can I ask how they found out about the ethics meetings?" Came my voice, i almost startled myself, i thought... everything should have been sealed, but then again who cares once we are deemed terrorists. But if lose my license...

Winston sighed and pushed up his glasses.

" that's a long story for another day. Right now I'll work on this as best as I can. You still aren't supposed to be in the field anyways. " Winston gruffly responded.

" understood " I don't want to argue this today, why would someone take this and post this?

" thank you Winston, keep us updated " said Jack, sounding slightly exasperated.

" not a problem" said Winston, as he furiously began typing some more and softly muttering to Athena.

We left the room and walked out toward the main area. Lucio was laying on the couch with Hana, shoulder to shoulder and gaming again.

" oh hey!" Said Lucio not looking up from his game.

" hello" I replied.

" I'm going to crush you!" Yelled Hana in frustration. As explosions happened on the screen, jacks grip tightened on me.

" hey darling. Let's go for a run or something" I whispered. Tugging at him to follow me. He luckily did after a few moments of struggling. As we got outside he turned to me and mumbled something about needing to be alone for a few minutes.

" that's fine, you can run alone. I'll be on the roof " I didn't want to agitate him. He had been so good lately and if he needs a moment he needs a moment. My hands touched the cold bars of the ladder as I climbed. I could hear McCree talking to Lena.

I sat on the opposite edge. Not wanting to interrupt them but no sooner had I lit my smoke than Lena had come up behind me wrapping her arms around me.

" ow are you today?" She asked plopping down next to me.

" eh" I responded and exhaled" you?"

" smashing! Headache that is!" her grin taking over her face as she held back a laugh.

" oh do you need something for it?"

" naw luv, I'm fine!" She said cheerfully while resting her head on my shoulder. I finished my cigarette and snuggled into her side.

"You feel like venturing inside with me?" asked Lena. I nodded, i could use some socialization time, instead of mulling around in my head. I followed her down, no sign of Jack anywhere anyways. He could probably really use some head clearing time as well. As we walked in we spied Lucio and Hana playing games on the projection screen, they could just play in their rooms, but this was much more adorable.

" maybe we should just team up instead of playing against each other" said Lucio, his cheeks slightly flushed.

Lena and I exchanged glances, and started motioning if we should leave or not. Then again, it's us and the opportunity to see Lucio attempt flirting was too precious to miss.

" hmmm you are halfway decent, and I haven't played competitive team up in awhile..." as she carefully flipped some of her hair over her shoulder, her face scrunching in contemplation.

" is that a yes?"

Hana frowned then smiled real big, Lucio's worried expression changed to ecstatic.

" ha! Yes" she squeaked as she switched menus.

" but only if I get to listen to your new album before the concert!" She teased.

Lena was trying so hard to keep her mouth shut, she was wiggling next to me, and holding her hand over her own mouth, her eyes getting bigger with each thing they said.

" welllllll I don't normally do that but... for you! I would" he looked so happy. Hana looked away but you could tell she was smiling.

" all I'm saying is, yer armor could use a few updates" came Torbjorn's voice.

" ah my friend this armor has served me well for many years , it does not need any updates!" Shouted Reinhardt as they made their way to their chess set. Reinhardt towering in his chair, this would probably ruin Lucio's moment with Hana but they seemed oblivious. Completely wrapped up in their had a pillow gripped in her hands ready to toss at the loud intruders.

Jesse came sauntering over to us as he plopped down in a chair, holding his flask out to Lena who happily took a swig offering it to me.

I took a sip, handing it back to Jesse.

" we should probably go out some night soon, ya know?" Said Lena.

" ah, I cannot" I replied

" because of that writing about you?" Asked Jesse.

Lena shot him a look and gently punched his arm.

" what?" He said looking confused.

" it should be taken down by now, besides what can they prove ? The world knows some of our tech was stolen... and like there were no facial shots" I mumbled reaching back for the flask we were passing around.

" yeah love , I wouldn't worry bout it, it's just gossip afterall " comforted Lena. I am worried about it. My stomach knotted tightly at the thought.

" besides no one would believe you got black hair now!" She teased ruffling my hair.

" think again" said Lucio suddenly.

" I mean I figured out it was her" he added.

" oi! Shut it" barked Lena.

" didn't she also spend a few months with you?" Said Reinhardt.

" true" replied Lucio frowning and concentrating harder on his game.

" but like. Is your medical license really gone?" Asked Hana. I'm not dealing with this, the mere suggestion is ridiculous.

" of course not! Ethics can be questioned without taking away a license" I muttered as Lena just shoved the flask in my hands. I finished it off, and handed it to Jesse who walked over to the cabinets to find more.

Not true actually, I was in a lot of hot water back then and Jack would always bail me out. It's a very real and scary thing. Your life's achievements narrowed down to what a committee deems what's right and wrong. How saving lives could be considered wrong is utter nonsense.

" soooorry just a question " mumbled Hana as she yelled something as her character died.

Ah the golden age... I could feel my nails digging into my skin.

" well we could always change your hair" said Lena.

I sighed " sure" what's the point, i will always look the same regardless.

" REALLY?" Shouted Lena. I shrugged. Whatever. It had changed so much in the past few years. Changing it again wouldn't hurt. I twisted a strand around my finger. It was fading, and I cannot stay with the raven black hair forever.

I'm so glad we went from talking about my medical license to my hair color. I got up getting my bottle of vodka when...

" it was a trash article, don't let it get to you" said Ana suddenly, I guess she had been in the kitchen. I leaned back against a counter top while taking a gulp from the bottle. Her back turned to me as she moved about making something.

" but there's still some truth to it, I mean how could there not be?" I asked softly.

Ana sighed, carefully placing down her spatula for a moment.

" Angela. What we are doing is illegal. So with or without your medical license you will be fine" she said then returned to cooking. I took a large swig and sunk to the floor.

" but what if I " I stopped myself. Is there really life after this? " retiring" running off with jack and living our lives. Without my license would I feel worse about everything. My ability to help people was solely due to my medical knowledge. The advances I made had been numerous, there will always be new discoveries, more illnesses.

" don't be so moody you will be fine, you are smarter than this whatever you are going through" said Ana as she fussed around the kitchen some more. I took another swig, finally feeling more than tipsy.

I tried standing but my legs shook, so I tried standing again. Slowly regaining my ability to move I stumbled toward Lena.

" Lucio you promised I could listen to your new album" whined Hana as she tried to pull his controller away.

" did I? Strange! I don't remember offering that" he said.

" that's bullocks!" Shouted Lena at him.

" you promised " I added slurring my words slightly.

" no words from you two! " said Lucio.

" are you silencing us?!" Said Lena sitting up and putting up her fists " those are fighting words!"

" oh Lena. No fighting" I scolded while leaning against her. She gently rubbed my shoulder while giggling.

" oh I wouldn't hurt him" she laughed, her smile was contagious.

" well if he doesn't let me listen then you can hurt him" said Hana grumpily.

" no! That won't be necessary I just wanted you to hear it live first" argued Lucio

" well you could perform live for me before your show" said Hana with a huge grin.

Lena started to open her mouth and I shushed her, this seemed to be going somewhere. Jesse chuckled and handed a beer to Lena and offered one to me.

" I'm fine, I have this" I said taking another gulp of vodka. Returning to the tipsy state I heard bastion whirring along with jack talking to him. Ah, that's good, them hanging out is good.

" oh oops. Sorry you can have her back" said Lena noticing Jack approaching, she popped up and collapsed onto Jesse.

" it's fine" said jack gruffly. I wonder what his...

" I was actually just coming to get you to talk to Winston" said Jack. Ughhhhhhhhhhh.

I stood up trying to focus on walking, Jack slid an arm around my waist.

" you should probably leave that here" he said pointing to the bottle I was clutching. Fuck.

" fair enough" I said setting it on the ground. Leaving my liquid courage behind me, not that it did much these days, maybe it was the act of drinking that calmed me down... but i shouldn't go down that road arm still firmly around my waist as we walked to Winston's room.i could feel my balance was off as I leaned into Jack and pulled away and leaned and pulled away.

" Jesus. Maybe we should do this later"

" it's fine. I'm fine" I muttered, moody... rightfully so. I'm a doctor who should be medicating instead of drinking. I should be working on things instead of drinking, really though, i should be working on things, but i don't have any ways to test out my experiments anymore, i don't have tons of people at my fingertips to ask if they will try new tech.

He knocked on the door, we heard Winston tell us to enter. He was perched on his tire and looking down at us.

" found out that some people who were injured last night posted the image to a social site. And the blog found out and wrote about it. Luckily no one could or would confirm it was you. It was removed and now it's just a random discussion here and there. But nothing to worry too much about" said Winston.

" so that's good then... yes?" I asked, anxiously running my free hand through my hair.

" better but still not great" said Jack.

" well in this age of tech, photos are bound to happen" said Winston as he slowly rocked in the swing. His eyes looked kind and comforting.

" but you shouldn't have been out there in the first place" argued jack. Fuck what the hell? I thought we went over this...

" this is true. But we shouldn't be so hard on her. You haven't known her as long as we have... while she went against orders, it's in her nature. " said Winston fiddling with his glasses.

" Winston is that all we needed to hear or?" I asked cautiously. I could hear jack sharply inhale. He's holding himself back, but Winston doesn't know, it's hard to believe no one has put the two things together, oh well...

" for now, yes. But you are obviously being reprimanded, you cannot keep disobeying" he said.

"disobeying what? it's not like this..." i stopped myself, what has gotten into me...

" thank you Winston" said Jack as he walked with me to the door, it's already wearing off.

As the door closed I couldn't hold my words back.

" what the hell?" I asked.

" what?" He replied, his voice sounded bitter.

" I thought we talked about this " my voice echoed with hurt.

He sighed " can I just get my medication so I can go to sleep?" He asked. " or do you think you cannot do that?" . That was hurtful, I chewed my lip and we walked to my lab. I have pre mixed vials for him now. As we entered my office I readied the needle.

" I'm capable Jack , you of all people should know this. " I couldn't disguise the fact that I was insulted. He had probably witnessed me drunk hundreds of times, i'm not actually that drunk even, just tipsy. Not like how i used to get, but i don't think there's enough alcohol in the world for that right now. I mean, i wouldn't work drunk, if there was an emergency i had too, if i was the only doctor available. I was a mess, a complete an absolute mess sometimes, but it was either let them die or try. I usually opted for trying, luckily i was never plastered during that, that got me to sober up fast back then.

He sighed removing his arm from his jacket as I injected him. I could do this in my sleep. But I sat on the ledge of my desk as I did it anyways. As i tossed the recapped syringe into the bin he spoke" I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that, I just... it's been a long day, and I worry about you, and I need to find a way to handle that better, just like you do. I mean I'm taking medication and you aren't , i just don't want you to..." He stopped, he was jumping conclusions, in all these years without him i never fully relapsed. Not that i could if i tried, my body processes much faster. I ran my hands through his hair, and kissed his forehead. He was right, I should be medicating myself, or someone should be medicating me.

" i understand, just try to be more careful with what you say love. " I said softly. He held my hand for a moment.

" I worked with bastion today" his voice had an attempt at happiness in it.

" yeah?"

" yeah.. he's doing better. He got freaked out during the mission but he at least knows when to shoot, and that it's okay to do so... kinda reminds me of you in that aspect" he removed his mask and looked at my face with concern written all over it.

" I shouldn't have done it, I know I shouldn't have. But you know me..."

" I know, and it's why I'm trying so hard to not be furious. Back in the day you would constantly pull risky moves and I would cover for you... constantly. I don't think you understand the amount of times I did. But now it's different, it's completely different. For one if anything happened to you you don't have a medical staff anymore... you didn't have backup which was absolutely reckless of you-"

" I know Jack. Believe me I know" I interrupted.

" Angela we have a kid now, can you please think before you put your life into danger"

" what about you?!" burst out of my mouth, a valid point... but probably not the best time.

" I can at least defend myself competently and have the ability to be healed by anyone, but if it would get bad you are my doctor , you are the doctor to all of us" his voice slightly cracked " you are without a doubt one of the most valuable members of our team"

His hand cupped my chin and he looked me in the eyes. I wanted to look away but they are so intoxicating, but seeing them so sad was heartbreaking.

" I don't know how I can say I'm sorry enough"

" just please. I'm begging you, don't do it again. Or atleast don't do it without backup. " he said softly as he pulled me into a kiss. It was so gentle but so powerfully filled with emotion. His hand cradled the back of my neck pulling me into him as he stood in front of me.

A knock at the door, he pulled away smirking at me.

" see?" He said as he gently lifted my chin up with his hand.

" yes?" I said loudly as I walked to the door smoothing down my dress.

" hey! So... Lucio got hurt" said Hana.

Jack slightly laughed and put on his mask, opening the door to a slightly bloodied Lucio. Blood dripping from his nose.

" what happened?" I gasped, motioning them to come to my exam room.

" wellllllll. He was teasing me and I may or may not have accidentally hit his nose with a controller" said Hana. I frowned and cleaned up the blood on his face inspecting his broken nose.

" well that must have been some hit" I said " Lucio brace yourself this will hurt for a moment"

" wait what are you going to do?"

" i need to reset your nose" i stated.

" ugh not again" he muttered.

" again?" I said running my fingers along his nose. Yep. Definitely happened before.

" hockey injuries" said Lucio shrugging.

" ohhh I love hockey. Well I love watching it" said Hana, she sounded both sorry and hopeful.

While she was distracting him I put it back into place, a little trickle of blood streamed down , but after searching through my drawers I found some of my resetting gel. It's one of those weird inventions I made, since I didn't want any soldiers having damaged noses, I created something different than the typical nose graft. As long as I reset the Cartilage properly then the gel would stabilize it, it got picked up by quiet a few hospitals and sports injury clinics. Fast stable repairs. Technically i made it when i was around 17? maybe 16... hmph.

" oh I hate this stuff" muttered Lucio.

" I invented this stuff" I said with a slight smirk as I injected it into the main areas of injury.

" of course you did" he sighed as he reflexively went to touch his nose. I pulled his hands away.

" now lay back for a few minutes okay?" I asked as I typed some things into my holopad for his medical chart.

" I should have remembered you played sports" I said out loud, I watched a few of his soccer matches while I lived near him, Jess was usually bored but enjoyed the company. I wasn't a huge fan, watching people getting injured for no reason other than entertainment seemed barbaric.

" I cannot believe you handled all those injections so well!" Said Hana as she lightly touched his shoulder then blushed.

" well, you know" he said a blush creeping onto his face. " I mean it was nothing" he said.

" I'm so sorry about your nose... I owe you" said Hana.

" naw you don't owe me anything. I shouldn't have been teasing you" said Lucio.

" I insist!" Cooed Hana.

" alright it should be completely set, I would advise you to avoid touching it. There might be some swelling but other than that you should be fine. " I said. Lucio sat up and looked at Hana as they got up and walked out. As I washed my hands and cleaned up I heard them talking.

" well I mean. Maybe you would consider doing something with me sometime. I mean like. Go somewhere with me sometime" stammered Lucio. Oh my god.

" oh my god! Are you... are you asking me out?" Said Hana giggling.

" well when you put it that way.." he sounded defeated.

" of course I will!" She squealed. I glanced over and caught her planting a quick kiss on his cheek. I smiled to myself, I couldn't wait to tell Lena, as I headed back to the main area I saw Jack speaking with Genji and Hanzo. Somehow that makes me nervous. I don't know why though.

Lena was half asleep on Jesse's lap, and he was absent mindedly stroking her hair while humming quietly to himself.

" Lena" I softly said. Her eyes popped open.

" ya?" She said sleepily.

" I have news for you" I teased as I sat across from her.

" oh come on. Spill it! " she pleaded.

" I may have heard a certain someone asking another someone out" I said smiling.

" oh! No way! No way!" She cheered looking around for the pair who were nowhere to be seen.

She passed me the bottle of vodka I had been working on earlier.

" this calls for a celebration" she said as she took a swig from Jesse's other flask. Jesse shook his head and smiled, puffing on his cigar. I took a gulp of my vodka and kept smiling.

" it's really sweet " I said.

Jack walked over to me and slightly ruffled my hair.

" speaking of really sweet! What's going on with you two? Ya finally?" She smashed her hands together and giggled.

" and is that your business?" I asked arching an eyebrow.

" oh I'm just jokin! Don't get your tits in a knot"

" tits in a knot? That ones new" commented Jesse.

" ugh bugger off lover" said Lena mock pouting at him. He kissed her cheek and she slightly blushed.

" it was dumb! I was trying to conver- converse, of course you are. i haven't seen... " she slurred slightly. "i mean i heard"

I felt a slight blush creep onto my cheeks.

" it's fine, I don't mind" said jack, as I curled into him taking another swig, he moved the bottle further away from me when i set it down, oh well...

" sooooo..." said Lena shifting uncomfortably. She was always outspoken which is fine, it was rare to make her uncomfortable.

" where is our little bastion friend?" She said.

" he's with Winston, probably messing around on the computer" said Jack. "i think he wanted to play star craft or something?"

Genji came over and carefully placed some cards down and sat on the floor in front of the coffee table in front of us.

" I know it is late, but we are all still awake so" said Genji sounding hopeful.

" oh I cannot possibly play" I uttered. Not that I didn't want too, I'm the worst at cards above a 3rd grade level.

As Jesse began shuffling cards, he looked up at me " eh. You are playing" he said.

I shifted nervously, usually he chose poker, i don't even understand it. The cards slid in front of me and I held back an audible sigh. Hanzo sat down We could all use the distraction, as I smiled at the group attempting.

Lena was constantly making the goofiest faces trying to get Jesse to abandon his tight lipped poker face, Genji, you couldn't tell, same with Jack... and don't even try to read Hanzo, i think he's training his face to constantly be void of emotions.

"come on floofy wooly werewolfy" giggled Lena.

Jesse clamped down on his cigar, while the group exploded into laughter, even Hanzo let out some laughter, a true rarity.

"what..." i laughed out.

"Floofy wooly werewolfy... because it rhymes with Jesse McCree" said Lena.

"I do not believe it does" stated Hanzo, regaining his composure.

"Sure it does!" she argued as she muttured it back to herself, her mouth betraying her attempts at saying it to herself.

"oh. " she muttured.

"i have been telling you and telling you, you don't know how to rhyme" Grumbled Jesse.

" i mean, it's not a skill" said Lena looking slightly offended.

"aw come on floofy, just show us your cards" said Jack, he was a sucker for horrible nicknames.

"Beg your pardon" said Jesse raising an eyebrow, scheisse!

"i'm not-" he started but then stopped himself, Jesse and him had some terrible ongoing jokes back and forth, but if he made that joke Jesse could put the two together.

"i was just saying, your name is Floofy" corrected Jack.

I was feeling the effects of the drink when I slammed down my cards, and Lena did the same as she burst into laughter. Hanzo eyed us both with a look of surprise.

" oh my god" said Jesse.

" Angela. You almost won with four of a kind but Lena...you have a straight flush" said Genji.

Lena and I looked at each other and burst into laughter.

The men just staring blankly.

" how did you do that?" Asked Hanzo.

" I just remembered to match and hold" said Lena smiling. She then popped up and grabbed my hand.

" I believe you promised I could play with your hair" said Lena.

" yes" I stated, hopefully being tipsy will give me courage to change it. Even slightly.

" uhhhhh" started Jesse.

" that doesn't sound like a good idea right now" added jack.

" I used to color my hair, drunk was never the way-" started Genji

" ah we'll be fine!" Chirped Lena as we stumbled down the hall to her shared room.

" don't worry! I did all my friends hair when I was in school" said Lena as she knocked over a few items. Scattering things across the floor.

" bahhh Jesse'll get that later" she mumbled, I started to feel nervous as she pulled out a bottle of something I couldn't read due to the wear on the label.

" now. It's just gonna lighten it" she slurred. She carefully pulled out my hair and brushed it out, yanking extremely hard.

" Lena leeeeena" I whined.

" you are hurting me"

" whoops love! Sorry" she said as she giggled and went back to whatever it looked like she was doing, i could only see her arms flying around, as she blinked about the room.

" I just. I'm excited" she chirped.

" I don't think I can do this" I mumbled.

" sure ya can. You just sit there and I do it!"

" I just. I don't feel ready"

" ready for?! What ? " she huffed.

" it's just lightening it. It's not a drastic change. " mumbled Lena.

" I don't know I just" I felt tears beginning to gather in my eyes.

" I just. I don't want to be myself"

" but you are Angela. Why wouldn't you want to be Angela?" She asked confused as she plopped onto my lap. I could feel her playing with my hair as she did.

" I cannot be her anymore"

" but...love...Hate to break it to ya but you kinda are? " her usual smile was turning into confusion.

" you don't get it. Haven't you ever wanted to be. Like someone else ?"

She giggled slightly " I mean maybe "

I let tears flow freely while she massaged my scalp.

"It's okay, I mean. We all like you for who you are" she said clearly baffled.

" aw shit" she uttered.

" what?"

"Uhhhhhhh nothing. Nothing. " she squeaked. I could see her face looking anxious.

" I just. Uhm. I just need to. Uh. Here drink this. I'll be back" she pushed a bottle of whiskey at me, and scampered off.

That was weird...ugh whiskey. Taking a swig it actually tasted good. Or I'm drunk. Finally... ugh my scalp itches. Wait... why is my hair wet... fucking Lena.

I tried regaining balance as I stumbled to the mirror. Verdammet. Scheisse.

My voice screamed out " lenaaaaa" as my hair was turning a weird shade of orange.

The door opened and Genji was pushed inside by a fear stricken Lena.

" oh" said Genji, he walked over and began asking her a million questions that went over my head completely. Much like she did.

" rinse it out and I'll be back with something" he said as he headed for the door.

Lena started ripping off my dress and pushing me into the shower, my legs felt so weak. It was happening. My stupid hair.

" ooop come here" said Lena as she removed my leggings, then she pushed me back into the shower as I knelt down and she rinsed my hair under the bath facet.

" ange I'm really sorry" she mumbled. I watched as colors swirled in the drain. I'm not ready, her hands vigorously scrubbing, until the water ran clear.

She helped me out of the tub and I slid back into my leggings at least, she draped a towel over my shoulder and Genji popped back in carrying a bottle of something else. My eyes watery, I couldn't hold it back, fuck this fuck the fucking UN for disbanding us. Fuck fuck.

" Angela" said Genji softly as he crouched in front of me.

" Lena could you maybe give us a moment?" Asked Genji.

Lena shrugged and left the bathroom, as Genji pulled me into him as my head rested on his shoulder.

" you've spent too long as someone else, it's time you are you again" he said softly. The metal against my skin was cold for once and I slightly shivered. It's not like I hadn't been mostly naked around him before. Besides it's just a bra and leggings. He doesn't care and neither do I. But i feel strangely exposed.

" but what if I'm not ready?" I muttered.

" you have been ready for a long time, you just didn't know it. However it's natural to feel this way" he said.

" ugh. Here I am crying about my stupid nonsense. When you had an entire body rebuilt. And..." I sighed heavily and felt more tears falling.

" you cannot measure your pain on a scale of anyone else's... a wise doctor told me that once, now let me try to fix this" as he pulled away inspecting my hair.

" you won't be blonde blonde for a bit. But we can fix it so it's not orange" he said as he moved around mixing stuff into my hair. I took another sip of whiskey while sitting as still as I could. Lena popped back in.

" oh thank goodness" she mumbled.

" I found an extra dryer " she added as she handed one to Genji. They started drying my hair and gently brushing it.

Genji stepped back and lifted his mask for a moment shooting a smile.

" now ladies, what will we never do again?" He asked.

" uhhhh" said Lena kicking her own feet.

" never... try to fix hair when drunk" he said frustrated. "and you, stop doubting yourself" he scolded in my direction.

Lena handed me my dress and I slid it back over my head, tugging it back on before walking over to the mirror. An almost silver with platinum ends so close to my actual hair, but it looked better.

" we will be able to full lift the color soon. Unfortunately due to some mistakes I had to tone the orange down. And the only way to do that was to add the toner, which almost made your hair lavender... " said Genji.

A knock suddenly interrupted us.

" can I enter the room again or?" Came Jesse's voice.

" not a problem. All finished in here" said Lena as the door swung open.

Genji closed his face plate and darted out, and I followed almost knocking into Jack, I threw my arms around him and he responded the same way. His strong arms lifting me into the air and carrying me to the room and opening the door.

I started squirming and he gently placed my feet on the floor.

" I swear when Lena came running out I thought your hair was destroyed!"

" she probably did too" I said slightly smirking.

" Genji said a word I don't think I ever heard him say in the angriest voice to her though"

" well. He did try to warn us"

He laughed as he removed his mask, and slightly shook his head.

" you look beautiful" he cooed as he slid a hand around my waist pulling me into a kiss.

I got lost in it, his tongue gently dancing over mine as he pulled me over to the bed gently putting me on top of him before snuggling into me.

" but it's not the same" I sighed.

" no it's not but it's getting there , just like you are getting there with yourself. Try not to be so critical. I love you no matter how you look. Hell you could have green hair for all I care angel. You are the one I am in love with and have always been in love with " he whispered into my ear, my freshly dyed tendrils tickling my neck.

" but you were so mad at me"

" not about your hair. About your self doubt, God ange, I'm so sorry about earlier. Please don't let it get to you. I just want you safe" his arm stroked my sides. I want to cry but I have nothing left in me. Exhaustion began to take over. Everything that had happened and everything leading up to what happened weighing heavily on me. I cannot do that again, I need to be more aware and more careful.

"the thing is, working with bastion is helping me, a lot more than i thought it would. Except, he doesn't have the rage i had, he has more sadness, i knew omnics could feel emotions, but never like this... He just wants to protect us and i..." his voice slightly cracked and his nose nuzzled my neck.

" my love, you are doing the right things, you are taking the proper steps, you have made nothing but progress with yourself... i'm the true absolute mess" i sighed pressing my forehead into his, his lips met mine, tenderly kissing me as his hand stroked my neck.

" you went through a lot too, and i need to remember that. I cannot take back the years i was gone for, i cannot possibly make it up to you. i think i will always regret just not being there for you... now i'm back and you seem to still be unsure of all you have accomplished, Angel, you are brilliant, i thought i would hold you back, i thought you couldn't deal with the man I've become... i don't think I've ever felt good enough for you"

My heart was pounding with emotions, all different feelings surging at once.

"YOU?! do you have any idea of all you accomplished with overwatch? all the peace you promised me, and you brought that, you helped restore peace-"

" look at where we are today ange... an article trying to tarnish your name, the name you worked so hard to become-"

"THEY DID THAT TO YOU TOO!, they tore you down, god Jack... do you also not realize just how much you accomplished? you saved me Jack" now my voice was cracking.

" you saved yourself angel, i just helped guide you a bit...but after i was gone they were horrible to you, the news and everything, and i feel like it's all coming back, i feel like what you were trying to run from is all back and that i did this"

" How? before i knew you were alive again, well, before i completely knew if you were alive again i rejoined when the recall was issued, i made a choice to come back, just like you did, and things will probably always be horrible, until some sort of peace exists" i stated as i searched his face for a solid emotion, but his beautiful eyes looked so sadly into mine. He tried so hard to keep us all together, and one man took it all away.

He closed his eyes sighing and steadying his breathing, my hands gently touched his chest, as i felt an arm curl around me, pulling me against his chest and stroking my hair.

Maybe i was just so incredibly tired, and lonely... maybe i just came back because it was the only time i ever felt like i truly belonged somewhere.

 **A/N: There it is, i know a lot of you have been asking about her hair, and here it is, i figure in 2080, or around that time, they would be able to at least have some better color-stripping products available, so i mean, it's almost there, but not quite, but i didn't just want to fully switch it just yet, because going from dyed black to platinum wouldn't be overnight. Here i am bringing weird modern logic into future tech. Ha. Anyways, sorry if some of this seems redundant i just feel that there is a lot mentally going on with Angela as well, and i hope this chapter works for all of you.**

 **Thank you so much for all the kind messages and tips. You all are so inspiring to me.**


	38. Chapter 38

We woke up later in the day, to our phones going off. Winston needs us right away, as usual.

" we have some more cleanup duty to do in dorado " started Winston. A groan came out of the younger members.

" this is part of the job, we want to make sure it's cleared. It may be overnight. If this is the case you will sleep either on the jet or wherever you can find a spot. But we want more people removed. With the new information it should make everything easier, I just need all of you to listen to commands"

I shifted in my seat, why am I here? Aren't I hanging back?

" Angela. You will be needed there as well, despite everything going on with you it's more important to handle everything properly. If there are injured you will be called into the field. But it's not for you to decide. The team will make the call for you, and you must and I repeat must listen" said Winston sternly. I nodded and held back a slight smile.

" I really need all of you to have open communication, everything and everyone must be tracked accordingly... Is this understood ?" Asked Winston.

The group nodded and uttered words of agreement.

We were dismissed to gather our gear. Hana was excitedly talking to Lucio about the entire ordeal when I passed by them running to my lab to gather as much of my quick repair serums and equipment.

Jack knocked on the open door.

" ready to go angel?" He asked.

I motioned for him to enter and he closed the door.

Walking quickly over to him I touched the edges of his mask, he got the message and unhooked it but just the top piece. The bottom portion affixed to his jaw as I stood on my toes to kiss him.

" we need to go" he sighed in-between kisses.

" I know I just needed this" I whispered.

" why do you think I came?" He teased softly into my ear. He quickly kissed me and put his mask back on. He picked up some of the medical bags I had packed and slung them on his shoulders.

I picked up the smaller one and walked with him to the jet. Everyone was loading in gear and even Hana had a spare mech.

" I have more but I doubt I'll need them" she mused, a small smile on her face as she watched Lucio whisk by her, carefully turning to flash a smile at her.

" it's always good to be prepared" said Ana as she checked her ammo supply and her rifle.

" I would love to take a look into yer mech" said Torbjorn.

" you wish!" Replied Hana as she huffed off to sit with Lucio. He had music blaring. Genji and Hanzo were sitting and softly talking as Hanzo looked through his own gear mentally taking notes.

" well loves... I'm ready whenever you all are!" Chirped Lena as she leaned over her pilot seat.

Reinhardt came thundering in and set down his hammer.

" all set " Ana said after checking in with everyone. Bastion was whirring softly in the corner with Ganymede.

" bastion come sit with me" I said. He happily whirred and walked over sitting down at my feet.

" don't get why we have to take the scrap pile" said Torbjorn.

I glared at Torbjorn and Reinhardt.

" he is a member of our team and should be treated as such" I said.

Bastion was sadly beeping.

Jack looked up from his discussion with Ana.

" he hasn't proven himself on the field and I have yet to meet a good bastion unit" said Reinhardt.

I'm not surprised. They both hate omnics and bastions, they have their reasoning but that was a long time ago.

" he has, he proved himself on our last mission. He had Angela's back" said Genji sharply.

" like it or not he is a member of our team" said Ana sharply. Jack nodded and returned to looking at the map after I gave him a ' i'm okay' nod.

" Bastion... I never did get to thank you for helping me" I said to him. My voice barely above a whisper.

Bastion held out his little holopad that read :" you are my friend. I am here to protect all"

I nodded " that is very sweet of you. I don't like wars either my friend"

" but you fight in them" read his note. Sighing slightly at the comment i responded " yes, but I try to think I'm fighting to end wars or something. I use my blaster as a last resort. Sometimes some people are so corrupt and are fighting for the wrong reasons. If I don't shoot then they could kill innocent people or innocent omnics" I could feel my stomach knotting.

" I understand, soldier friend told me about it. " said bastion.

I smiled " very good"

The smell of Jesse's cigar was making me anxious for my own smoke. Calm your nerves. Everything will be okay, they are trusting you to come along. Jesse slid me his matches as I lit one. Instantly feeling calmer.

" I like your hair" said Hana suddenly

" wie bitte?" I replied startled. ( beg your pardon )

" what?!" Said Hana.

" sorry. Uh what did you say?" I asked.

" I like your hair!" She said with a smile as she looked back to her game.

" oh. Thank you. Well thank Genji actually" i replied with a smile.

" Genji does hair? Does he even have hair?!" Said Hana.

Genji looked up then back down.

" uhm. Yes. And yes. " I said softly. Surprisingly if he wanted too he could remove his mask more frequently. Yes his face was very scarred. More than jacks but it was still Genji under there. I'm just glad he's okay with showing some of us his face from time to time. But I never knew him before...

"Sorry... My big mouth" said Hana quickly as she looked back down at her phone.

Hanzo cleared his throat, he only did that when he was annoyed. I shot him a look of I'm sorry, and he waved his hand dismissively.

" what exactly is the plan" said Hanzo after a few minutes of silence.

" working on it" said Ana.

" well. Some guy named uh Guillermo Portero, apparently has been using the money that was supposed to be used to the people and clean energy for himself, which sounds just like what vishkar did. But I mean. With them working together I'm not surprised. So according to one of my sources someone named Sombra led the hack" said Lucio.

" wait... what did you say?" Said jack.

" uh... which part?" Said Lucio.

" the hacker " grumbled jack.

" oh Sombra! "

Jack turned to Ana and the two walked to the most concealed area of the jet.

" wonder what that was about..." came Hana's voice.

" probably grumpy just being grumpy " Lucio replied.

But something was certainly up...

Ana returned and grabbed my arm pulling me with her... She could have just asked.

Once in private with her and jack, she softly spoke.

" so you know how we would work together?"

" yes"

" when in Egypt...we overheard something on the communicator. Talking of someone named Sombra, now. This is all related to talon as we feared and suspected. Instead of leaving you behind during the mission you are to stay with Jack the entire time. If anyone interrupts your comms we need to know right away. " Ana said with a sigh.

" my dear... if you saw her the other night, then atleast we know what she looks like. None of this looks good, but stick to the plan. We won't let anything happen to you" she added with a note of urgency.

Jack's hand was shaking again, he hasn't uttered a word.

" I'll go brief the team on groups and strategy. You two collect yourselves they don't need to see this or know of it" said Ana.

As she left I rushed into Jack's arms. His heart was racing so fast. So this would be confirmed talon association, if it is Sombra who is after me. Then it's all certain.

" if it was just Reyes and some randoms. We could take them. Sombra is intelligent, she knows her way around the system. Who knows how much she knows about us. All of us. Her teamed with Reyes and talon... not good" he sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

" sorry angel..." he mumbled.

" this is all stuff we worried about my love. It's fine. We can get through this, we can figure out ways to prevent this. We are all smart." I spoke sounding way more sure of myself and the team than I was. His hands went for his mask as he titled my head up and kissed me.

" I'm not going to let anything happen to you" he whispered in between kisses. My heart was pounding. Fear and ecstasy. It had been a long time since we had a moment like this while the team was just behind a small wall.

My eyelashes brushed against his cheeks and he slowly pulled away.

" so what's the plan. "

" hasn't changed besides you sticking with me. That means absolutely no flying around unless you are given permission" he said gruffly looking me straight in the eyes.

" okay... " I answered trying to lock eye contact but it was so hard when they had conflicting looks in them.

He pulled me into another kiss before putting on his mask again and leading me out to the group.

" everyone ready?" He asked.

Ana nodded " they have been informed of the basics... I think we should be able to focus and get the job done rather quickly. " said Ana.

I started putting on my Valkyrie suit and sat back down.

" arrival time about fifteen more minutes loves" said Lena.

I lit a cigarette and sat with Jesse. Jack was talking with Lucio and Hana, his hands stopped shaking thankfully. A simple clean up turned into this realization. Why would they let me onto the field? Especially after this realization... wait. Unless I'm... no they wouldn't use me as bait?

That wouldn't be right would it? Maybe. I don't mind being used it would just be good to know. Plus it would be helpful to have a better image of her to put to the face.

" you comin' with us?" Asked Jesse.

" yeah, I'm sticking with soldier but I'll be out there"

" good to hear it. We can always use you" replied Jesse with a smile.

Ana walked over to us and sat down for a moment. She was biting a small corner of her lip, old habit. When you watch her fire her rifle she does the same thing, it's almost like some form of concentration for her.

" Jesse can you do Angela and I a favor and not become the constantly injured member of our team?" Joked Ana

" better me than anyone else" said Jesse as he let out a rich smelling cloud of smoke. I finished mine and stuck it into the ashtray my knee lightly brushing into Ana's as she reached out and patted it.

" everything will be fine" she said out loud.

We felt the jet land. Jack's visor glowing in the darkness as the doors let down.

" team move out" said jack, as I stood and followed him closely. I had to glide to him, I cannot keep up when he sprints. But Genji, Lucio and Lena could.

Ana was taking Hana, Torbjorn, Jesse,Hanzo and Reinhardt. Bastion was staying back for the time being but he knew to be alert if we needed him.

The smell of smoke still wafting in the air. How are we supposed to help when they don't want us anymore?

The sound of metal hitting bodies took me out of my calm moment.

Genji was stealthily taking down hostiles, as we searched the remaining buildings for survivors.

" over here love" said Lena into her comm. soft cries could be heard in the background.

" give us a few. We need to clear the area first" said Jack. His posture was stoic as he fired off some rounds. Bodies always dropping. A few stray bullets peppering the ground around us.

" Mercy back up!" ordered Genji.

" she's fine where she is" said jack. It was true, Genji was just going off the usual plan. But if I hid I was more of a target. As long as I followed Jack I should be safer.

" we should have this. Go in and get them out" said Ana as arrows and bullets flew by us.

Jack stood aside as I Genji went in first followed by me, Lena and Lucio were already inside calming people down and explaining that we are here to help. A few omnics were among the humans, actually they are all humans technically.

" there's one that is hurt real bad" whispered Lena to me. I nodded and walked over to a person whose leg was bleeding out. Not good, possible infection.

" how long has it been like this?" I asked as I inspected the wound, a scent of almonds... definitely infection. But I reached into my kit for the quick test. But there was no foot left, as I unwrapped it.

" she has been like this since last night. We couldn't get out" said a a male voice. As I worked I noticed Genji , Lucio and Lena helping some up.

" you know where the safe area is?" Asked Jack.

" got the coordinates" said Lena.

" Genji you stay here help me watch the place internally, Tracer and Lucio you two get the ones who can move to safety" said jack.

I walked over to my larger kit and looked at Jack for a moment.

" it's bad. I don't have the proper gear here to properly treat this" I whispered.

" do what you can , I'm sure we can help her to safety once it's treated" said Jack.

I nodded and walked back over. Carefully explaining that a prosthetic would need to be made at an actual hospital. But that I could seal the wound and disinfect it.

I worked quickly, cleaning and then cauterizing the wound. Her husband holding her hand the entire time and we tried to keep her quiet. I let it set while I worked on a few other wounds. Jack was shifting and trying not to rush me as him and Genji talked quietly.

We got most of the people out when Ana's voice came over the comm " sniper"

Jack pushed into me as I felt warm liquid cover my face.

A scream erupted in the room as the husband was screaming.

No. Not again. Not fucking again.

I looked up, clean shot right through her head.

" I'm so sor-" I started to say when another shot came through the window, I back up and tried pulling the man but he stood up welcoming the incoming fire.

" nooo" I started to say but he fell collapsing onto her.

Jack pulled me up and away from the area to a darker corner.

" we need to keep moving" said Jack.

Genji deflected some incoming bullets as Jack shot off some helix rockets. The night sky was lighting up with explosions.

" we still have more buildings to clear" said Ana.

" details" grunted Jack.

" Far East building. We will take the other" said Ana.

Just try to remain calm... husband and wife... maybe they had kids.. no. The kids would have been with them... don't think about it. Stay calm.

I slung my med kit over my shoulder as we darted to another building. Luckily minor injuries, mostly shaken with fear as we began extraction again.

Jack and I waiting in the building as they moved out the group.

I started wiping off my face with a spare cloth I keep around.

Jack was grunting softly.

" are you injured?" My voice shook with worry.

" I just noticed it. But yeah angel" said jack. I flipped my staff to healing as he grunted louder

" better?"

" stings but yeah. Must have just been a clean shot..."

I inspected the area, grateful for his body armor.

" you should be fine" I whispered. My chest tightening.

" you okay?" He asked

" no but we have to keep pushing on" I said, something he used to say to keep me grounded mentally during battles with many casualties, now is not the time to process.

" got this building clea-ahhhh" said Jesse.

" McCree?" I stated.

" whose got eyes on McCree?" Ordered jack as Lena stepped back into the room.

Her eyes looked huge with worry.

" Jesse !" She yelled.

" he's down, let me send the location" said Hanzo briskly.

I stood next to jack and pulled up the teams stats on my wrist device.

Faint heartbeat. Scheisse.

" ange. What... what is it?" Said Lena her voice trembling.

" location sent" said Hanzo.

" Genji in front, Lena run ahead with him... Angela. In front of me, Ana we need you to watch us from above"

" I'm on it" she replied.

Glass crunched under our feet as we ran. Genji deflecting a few shots.

Lena growled as she got hit but kept going as I honed my healing beam onto her.

" I'll be fine just get to him" she whimpered.

He was no where near a ledge so I couldn't hone in on him. I glanced at his monitor... he was fading fast.

Clenching my jaw as we climbed.

Finally when we arrived just outside his location perimeter Ana's voice came into our ears " use caution. Hanzo and I will try to hold anyone off but be careful, sending up Reinhardt. " said Ana.

His large thundering footsteps could be heard.

" Lena wait for backup" ordered jack.

She blinked over to him.

" oh my god" she yelled barely above a whisper.

" Ange do something!" She yelled.

" keep it down" scolded Ana.

Slight pulse fading fast. There's only one thing I can do at this point. But that's untested on humans, since...

I knelt by him, perfect precision, the bullet pierced right through his neck.

"Ana, Hanzo and Torbjorn. I need updates" ordered jack. We are all targets out here

" come on Jesse hang in there, I can't lose you " sobbed Lena.

" Angela do something" she growled.

" I..." I started to say but he was gone, no pulse no signs of life.

" it's been repaired just do it" pushed Lena almost knocking me off my footing.

I pulled out my caduceus, flipping the one button I hadn't used since. Fuck. Limited time. Pull yourself together. I could hear random chatter through the comms.

" we need to clear the area" said Ana.

I can't let Jesse die like this.

I inhaled sharply " heroes never die" I said softly as I flipped the button. A bright beam washed over him. The nanotech overcharging his system. He should wake up...

" why isn't it working!" Lena yelled as she clutched his body. A strangled gasp came out of his mouth. A hammering inside my chest calmed. I did it. I actually did it.

" Jesse" screamed Lena as she held him tightly.

" easy..." he muttered as he gently kissed her temple.

" move out" said jack gruffly, its true we cannot linger here.

"I thought I was a goner" sighed Jesse.

" you very well could be if you don't get out of there" said Ana.

My comm buzzed. Fuck fuck. I grabbed Jack's arm.

" my gift to you" came a familiar voice. Purple smoke surrounding us.

" move out now" shouted Jack. Reinhardt charged in front of us, shielding, I used my staff on each member of the team for short bursts. I could handle this they couldn't just yet. And no proper time to administer the anti venom. Lucio's soft music playing to heal.

"Ah, je te vois" came the voice again ( I see you).

" everyone down" I yelled. As the group instinctively obeyed. Ducking down and into an alley.

" now that wasn't very nice" sneered the woman.

" yeah. Well neither are you" I replied. Fuck am I twelve?

Jack's red visor glowing in my direction.

" remember. I never miss" her voice was like ice, as it entered my ears.

" what's the hold up?" Asked Ana.

" just mercy entertaining the uninvited guest" replied Reinhardt with a slight growl.

" ah. I don't see anything...Hanzo?" Asked Ana.

" clear from where I am" he replied.

" alright move out. " said Jack. I was flanked by everyone in the group Reinhardt's shield above our heads as we raced back.

" maybe next time, your place ?" Came Amelie's voice again sounding almost gleeful.

I honed on bastion and flew into the ship as planned. The rest of the group following behind. Lena moving slower to keep pace with Jesse.

I ripped open my kit and began administering anti venom just in case. Luckily since I got them all a boost in time it shouldn't affect them. But just in case.

" heading back, just rechecking the area" said Ana.

Lucio was slightly struggling to give me his arm " come on it's just a shot... you got shot tonight with an actual bullet." My voice was stern as I gripped his arm harder.

" yeah but I wasn't expecting that. I'm expecting this" said Lucio.

I swear that kid...

" ah still scared of needles!" Shouted Reinhardt. In that moment Lucio turned to argue and I jabbed him with the needle.

" hey hey heeeeeeey! That was uncalled for!" Complained Lucio.

" thank you Willhelm " I shot him a smile.

" anything to help" replied Reinhardt as he tried to get slightly comfortable with the wait.

An explosion lit up the sky.

" Ana ..." said jack

" I'm fine, that was 's mech. " she said.

" is she okay!?" Interrupted Lucio.

" I'm fine!" Piped in Hana's cheerful voice.

" heading back" replied Ana.

Lucio was anxiously skating around, and I was checking Jesse's vitals as best I could with Lena practically squeezing him to death.

" now hold on. Docs gotta run her tests on me" protested Jesse.

" oh Angie" squeaked Lena as she pulled me into a hug while I was attempting to do a full scan on Jesse.

" oft... " I mumbled into her ear.

" sorry! I'm just!" She backed up and darted about while I checked him. Everything perfectly normal, if not better than normal.

Torbjorn hopped onto the jet, followed by Hana out of her mech.

" almost there" said Ana.

Hanzo stumbled in. His side dripping with blood.

" what... hey guys help me get him to the table" I ordered as Genji and Reinhardt ran to help. Jack was anxiously guarding the door.

As his body was laid on the table I took note of the various injuries, mostly gunshot wounds and some bits of stone... probably from backfire.

He was grunting in pain as I cleaned the wounds to better inspect. I applied some nanites and began work of putting stitches in place, carefully cleaning and extracting all metals before sealing them. I hardly noticed Ana returning or Lena jumping into the cockpit.

" oh steady yourselves taking off" she chirped.

" Genji" but he was already next to me helping me hold Hanzo as we took off.

" Angela what happened out there?" Asked Ana as I carefully stitched Hanzo. He was more relaxed now thankfully.

" uhm. Just another comm interruption. Definitely the voice of Amelie " it all came out so nonchalant.

Ana grunted with annoyance. Tsking under her breath but audible enough to hear.

" this is getting ridiculous. They are just toying with us now" piped in Torbjorn.

I cleaned another wound out, focusing my attention on healing, not on things out of my control.

" why didn't you say you got injured?" I asked him as Jack and Ana got into an argument with Torbjorn.

" I was close enough to here, no sense in making you come out" replied Hanzo as i closed off the stitches.

" you should have told me" I softly said as I inspected the rest of his body.

" once you are done with Hanzo we need to speak with you" ordered Ana

" she is finished" said Hanzo standing up and Genji rushed to help.

" brother I am fine" as he struggled to fight off his brothers grip.

I walked over to Ana and jack.

" so Amelie said. My gift to you about the mine, then she obviously said she could see me which is why I told you to duck. And then" I paused as the fear set in " maybe next time your place"

Ana's eyes went dark as Jack inhaled sharply.

" Winston did you get that? " asked jack.

" Winston! Check in on Fareeha now!" She barked.

" scheisse" I uttered.

" right away" said Winston.

Ana started pacing and I sunk down in my seat.

" what if this was a set up" mumbled Ana to Jack.

" I wouldn't put it past..." he stopped himself before he gave himself away. I motioned for him to sit with me but he was also pacing. Only increasing my anxiety. If anything happens to him or Fareeha or Meera... a lump formed in my throat.

" I'm bringing them back to our base" said Winston.

" wait for backup" argued Ana her eyes full of anger.

" activity in the area, I don't think it can wait. I'll take the small jet. Athena can control it for me" said Winston.

" I'm telling you wait for backup" ordered Ana. Jack was silent, but his hands were shaking.

" oy! Not trying to raise alarms but uh. We've got company" shouted Lena.

 **A/N: sorry for the delay! sometimes i fuss too much with a chapter and i just have to stop myself from overthinking it. Thanks again for all of your support! i would make this note longer, but i'm really exhausted lately, but i truly appreciate each and every review, it always amazes me when a new reviewer shows up! it truly brightens my day that people are reading this!**


	39. Chapter 39

" Winston as you may have heard we are now being followed. Stay put. Let us figure out a solution. Patch Fareeha in" Ana stated anxiously.

" right away" replied Winston.

I was gripping the couch, trying to calm my breathing but it's not working at all.

" if we are being followed and go to the base to get Winston then we risk them finding the base. If Winston goes we risk their safety" said Ana to us.

" just let Winston go, we will go as well, try to shake this tailing and figure out from there. If we at least draw them away from the base and safe house then we should stand a chance" said jack, even with the modifier you could hear the distress in his voice.

" we could try to shoot the craft behind us down" chimed in Lena.

" Pharah here" came Fareehas voice onto the comms.

" how is your location?" Asked Ana anxiety still in her voice.

" been hearing stuff on and off but it seems more frequent, any plan?"

" Winston. We think it would be wise for you to head over... Lena how soon can we be to this location?" Asked Ana as she showed the coordinates.

" uhhhh bout twenty. Fifteen if I push it" said Lena.

" fifteen, twenty at max. Winston you need to move, we don't want them..." started Ana.

Metal hitting Metal was heard, just what we needed...

" oh fuck off!" Shouted Lena. " I'm engaging" she added angrily.

" fine" said Ana curtly, her frown was deepening on her face.

" what the hell is the reasoning behind this ?" Lucio grumbled in a low voice.

" wait. If Angela is za true target then why would they be doing this at both locations " asked Reinhardt.

There's a minor point to be made there but I don't feel like reasoning.

Ana's mouth was stuck in a permanent frown as she slightly paced.

" Lena, does the damage they did seem critical or more like a taunt?" She asked.

" well. They didn't try to hit any of the crucial parts... but they did fire at us" said Lena, she looked furious.

" and you fired, and we didn't feel anything firing back" said Ana.

I felt my comm ring in my ear. Not now... not again.

"Angela?" Said Genji calmly, my knees pulled into my chest as I fiddle with the comm, it hurts so bad.

" do not removed that" said Ana.

" it's just loudly ringing " I argued not knowing the volume of my voice.

Ana leaned near me.

" oh my gods take it out and give it to me" she immediately crushed it when I handed it to her.

" I would assume, they want to make a point?" Said Ana turning to jack.

He just stood there in quiet contemplation.

A loud ringing echoed in the main system.

" fuck! What the hell" shouted Lucio.

A few more rings and bursts echoed in the system.

" Athena... are you compromised?" Asked Ana.

The AI wasn't responding, but luckily the ringing had stopped.

" destroyed the internal attack. It was surprisingly simple, seems more like a distraction" said Winston.

" if they don't want to hurt our craft, wouldn't the logical thing be to shoot them down?" Came Hanzo's voice.

" that would be logical, but would it be correct?" Said Genji.

" it could be, we don't need any more there, since we will need to attack them anyways we should just engage. See if they don't want to hurt us as a group. If they want just one of us they won't risk firing back, they would rather claim what they want. The lack of substantial damage shows they probably want whoever alive. " said Jack finally.

" so let's take them down? Yes?" Said Lena sounding more optimistic. Jesse had walked up to be with her, and stare at the maps. You don't mess with her flying machines.

" yes. Bastion do you think you can handle this ?" Asked Ana.

" I can do it" said Torbjorn sighing.

Bastion whirred worriedly.

" fine! Torbjorn, Set up a turret by the door way! the rest of you, strap yourselves in. Secure all loose items. " ordered Ana.

Torjorn began setting it up near the door in the area we had to hold said devices, a harness dropped for him. These are incredibly helpful and dangerous in case of falling.

" ready when you are" came the half angry half amused Torbjorn

" ready" said Lena as she dropped the door open.

The sounds of his turret going off mixed with the crafts own rockets going off. The rush of air in the cabin stirring up old chaotic memories. Not the time, not the time at all. But who is ever ready. Jack was next to me and I tried to reach for his hand.

He was softly grumbling with Ana. Both of our kids were there, both in direct danger, no news from Winston causing another element of worry. His gloved hand gripped mine, thank goodness. The slight shake was calming a bit, I don't know if I can truly handle anything happening to anyone at the safe house. It will all be my fault... Fareeha didn't have to put herself on duty. It could have been us , if should have been us. We are his parents, and we brought, well I, brought Meera into this. Then I made the decision to bring John into the world. A metallic taste swept through my mouth as the turret shook as it fired. My lower lip being chewed. Everything will be my fault. All of it...

The craft was shaking and jerked upward, Torbjorn hardly keeping his balance up, but the harness caught him from falling out.

" peh seems like they only want to take down my turret" grumbled Torbjorn.

" bastion can you assist?" Asked Ana Bastion worriedly made noises, no words just panicked booping noises.

" bastion please" I asked softly.

" it's for us bastion" I added.

" you can't just ask him to do that" muttered Jack, he's right, i shouldn't ask someone who is against fighting, and who has some form of PTSD to do-

" I will help" came his voice simulator.

" are you sure this is what you want?" Asked Jack anxiously. I know i stepped out of line just asking, but he had been so helpful on the last mission.

" I will help my friends" he replied. Ganymede chirped.

" come with me we need to strap you into the ship" said Jack as bastion followed him to the opening, carefully attaching the belts as bastion formed into a turret.

Torbjorn sighed and hammered away on his turret.

After a few moments of struggling bastion started firing rapidly.

Jack was standing near him attaching the harness to himself and firing out pulse rockets.

" enemy ship being taken down" said Jack.

Suddenly we felt a lurch and Torbjorn started to fall out.

Jack reached for him also starting to fall. Reinhardt jumped up unhooking himself and grabbing onto Jack as he held Torbjorn.

" sorry bout that! Trying to steady " said Lena anxiously. Suddenly an explosion rocked us. My ears ringing as I looked forward blood was streaming down Torbjorn's face. The ship rocked and a pile of men formed. I raced over to them.

" Angela stay back" ordered Jack.

" no, i need to do this" I replied as I unhooked Torbjorn from his harness and pulled him with me to my medical area.

He wasn't responding, so I pulled out my staff and began preliminary healing.

" everyone pull back" ordered Ana.

" No! we have this. Gotta take this craft down" said Jack angrily.

Torbjorn wasn't making any movements on his own, faint pulse. Multiple lacerations. I gripped the table as a shock ran through the craft.

" someone help me hold him down please" I begged. Genji stood up and held Torbjorn down as I began cleaning the Ash off his face to get a better look, scanning for internal injuries. His lung narrowly a avoided being punctured due to his chest armor lodged into his chest and multiple facial good at all.

He was small enough that I could just straddle the table and begin my work. Or should I just let him die to revive him... that's terrible. Mind please... don't be doing this to me.

Reaching for my cutters I began peeling away the armor. Not as bad as it initially looked... good.

I healed him again, carefully opening his eyelids to see if any eye movement was visible, Yes!, good...excellent..i can fix this.

The blood was being stopped thanks to the nanites.

" hang in there my friend " shouted Reinhardt. He was still standing near Jack to assist him, his face full of concern for his old friend.

" am I supposed to keep circling and firing or are we headed back to the safe house?" Asked Lena.

" keep circling. Draw attention away from it and from our base" shouted Ana, her voice betraying what confidence she tried to portray.

I ran my hands down Torbjorn's chest checking if the ribs had healed. Nope. " Genji grab me my green bag please ?" I asked

He handed it over to me, i began unzipping the bag and pulling out the regrowth serum.

" Lucio help Genji hold him down. Hanzo, steady my body please" I ordered. The team did as I requested. Hanzo's strong arms firmly gripping me in place. Thankfully he is fully healed, otherwise i wouldn't trust this. The straps used to hang in place, and the table used to have restraints...

I positioned the needles in the correct places and began the injections, gripping the table as I waited for the serums to empty.

" excellent" I said tossing the empties into the sharps bin next to me. The re-scan began to show the slow progress of bone growth.

Thank goodness.

" I am taking damage faster than I can heal" came bastions voice on the internal comm.

fuck.

I grabbed my staff and healed while still working on Torbjorn.

" damn doctor" uttered Lucio in awe.

" do not distract her" grumbled Hanzo still gripping me firmly.

Once bastion was fully healed, the re-scan was done. Why isn't he awake yet? Pain? Maybe... nothing critical on the scan anymore. Just some cuts I could manage to heal with my staff.

" ahhh-" shouted Jack as I looked up he had flown back the harness kept him from crashing into the wall. Scheisse.

" arrived at the safe house" said Winston, explosions could be heard.

Focus focus. Focus focus was echoing in my mind.

" what's wrong soldier ?" I yelled, i can't technically heal everyone at once. What i wouldn't give for another medical hand.

" nothing. Just got blown back" he replied angrily.

Thank goodness! Torbjorn started to move, his eyes twitching.

" peeeh. Git off me you filthy cowards" he softly growled.

A sigh of relief escaped my mouth.

" Torbjorn, how are you feeling?" I asked

" oh uh. Better than before" he groggily replied.

I leaned back a little, Hanzo loosened his grip. The sounds of bastion firing along with Jack filling the air along with the choking scent of ammunition. A huge explosion and bastion started shooting larger rounds.

" enemy ship destroyed" sighed Jack.

" good work bastion " he added. A happy whirring sound was heard.

" Lena close the doors" ordered Ana. As the doors closed, Genji let go of Torbjorn and Lucio returned to his seat with Hana, who had been unusually silent this entire time.

" Seventy Six, go get checked out" said Ana after a over at him, he shrugged. Torbjorn sat up as Reinhardt walked over.

" for a minute there I feared you were gone my friend" boomed Reinhardt's voice.

" you must be careful. That serum can cause some pain, and does need some time to set properly" i carefully advised him.

" this isn't my first time around your medical sorcery " joked Torbjorn. I cannot believe he is already back to normal. But these nanites waste no time. I'm extremely lucky and grateful for that. Then again, I've done more at one time on a craft like this before, i'm just out of practice. So luck really has nothing to do with it, more like years of research...

Hanzo let go of my shoulders, gently patting my back before settling into his seat. I loosened my grip on the table. Ah the golden years, Not my first time straddling a table in the sky and certainly not my last. I motioned for Jack to come over and he reluctantly did.

" I see no signs of injury besides ash" I murmured after doing a basic evaluation.

" Winston update" barked Ana. " we destroyed the enemy ship"

Nothing. No response. My heart sank as I tried to focus on Jack's scan. Minor injuries, dislocated shoulder.

" your shoulder is dislocated" I said with slight exasperation. I hate resetting super soldier shoulders, it takes a large injury to cause this... i quickly wiped the table clean and I patted the spot next to me on the table and he jumped up.

" grip here" I pointed to a spot. He obliged and I yanked it behind his back twisting it and then pushing and pushing.

" Jesus " he grunted as I slammed my body into it, finally feeling the satisfying sound of the socket swallowing the joint.

" Fareeha!" Barked Ana.

Nothing.

" Lena. Get us there NOW" ordered Ana, worry fully exposed in her tone.

" we are almost there" Lena barked back, she always hated being ordered around, even during a mission.

" Winston " Jack said into his comm. still silence.

Jesse finally grumbled something under his breath. I didn't even notice him or what he had been up too. Hell I haven't even smelled his cigars until now. I had brought him back to life about an hour or something ago... side effects? Fuck. Keep your head on the mission.

I lit a cigarette and joined Jesse.

"how are you feeling?"

"brand new" he replied exhaling and settling back into his seat.

There's nothing that can be done until we arrive. Jack looked over in my direction a slight head tilt but his hand was shaking so bad. Fuck. His medication on top of all of this. Now is around the usual time. I mean. It's here I have it. But... we need to be 100% alert. The advances made and with how well he adjusted to it should be nothing. But still. Ugh stupid. Stupid. Think. Exhaling a large cloud and rubbing my temples with one hand.

" hey we could use backup" came Fareeha's voice onto the comms. I'm thankful that our craft has them patched in. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to hear.

" we should be arriving in five" came Lena's voice.

" what is happening ?" Asked Ana.

Silence again.

" ANSWER ME" shouted Ana as she paced a little bit. Her nerves were very rarely frayed, and never had I seen her like this.

Silence.

" don't worry! I'm sure it's just communicator issues like Angela has" said Reinhardt tossing out his own views on reasoning. He wouldn't be wrong to throw out that idea. Considering how much power they have over tech.

" true. If they can target Angela's comm they can target all of them" sighed Jack.

" this should have been remedied before this" spat Ana her tone icy.

" we should have some spare ones around here, that way Angie won't be without a communicator" chimed in Lena, she sounded more peppy now, thank god.

" Lena we will need you to scout out the area from above first. We need to make a plan before jumping in" said Jack.

" you got it, almost there"

I put out my cigarette and went looking for a spare comm device. Conveniently in the drawer for them, for once. A slight orange hue filled the room for a moment. As I popped it into my ear I heard Jack sharply inhale while Ana gasped.

Ana and Jack walked to the large window looking out and surveying. My body pulled me to run to the windows. Smoke billowing, from the ground below.

" team get ready to deploy" said Ana.

" Torbjorn and bastion you two stay behind on this. Lena you will circle with them above so they and you can fire down. Same groups as before except let's add Reinhardt to 76's group " Ana added. She was clearly in the right mindset.

" is that alright 76?" She asked softly. I was close enough to hear.

" first drop off my team towards the cliffs. Then drop seventy six's team off" said Ana.

" okay loves" replied Lena.

" it's going to be okay" I tried to whisper to jack. He just grunted. All I can do is attempt to feel like maybe just maybe it will be okay.

Ana's team jumped off into the cliffs once Lena opened the doors. The intense smell of burning filled the craft.

" Jesse be careful please " called out Lena as he left, but he turned to give her a wink before running off.

A clearing in the first surround the area was where we were being dropped.

" alright team, it's important. We have three people here. But we also need to keep eyes on Angela at all times, if your communication goes down. Run to this area and don't leave" ordered Jack. They marched out and I stuck right by Jack's side.

" no matter what happens. I love you" I whispered softly. He flinched and fired his pulse rifle behind me. The sound echoing in my ears as another explosion happened nearby. Reinhardt had his shield up guarding us as Genji ran forward. Winston was thrashing around in the distance, his primal yelling could be heard.

" team move" shouted Jack as we charged. I honed my staff on each of the to keep up and check vitals. Genji took a hit but he was okay. Fareeha was spotted in the distance as well. Firing down large percussion bursts. Lucio took off with Reinhardt and Genji as Jack and I followed behind.

" I cannot find them" said Fareeha.

Finally contact!

Wait. She was supposed to be watching the safe house what does she mean she cannot find them. The safe house was burning fast..where could they be?

I felt grass underneath me as I hit the ground. Blood dripping down my face, why can't I hear? Suddenly an echoing and my ears started to pop. Where is everyone? pulling myself up, where is everyone?!

A strong arm pulls on me. Get free... I need to get free. Struggle as much as you can, wiggle. Come on, not like this. Not like this! Finally! My vision is clearing, black sleeves covering thick arms are pulling me.

" I've got her!" Shouted a voice I didn't know. Twisting myself around I try to jab with my elbows. A deep laugh is heard, there's no other choice. Squirming as I find my blaster and pull the trigger into the body behind me.

" fucking bitch!" Yells the voice, the grip loosens, spinning to see a talon agent.

Just do it, aim for the head and just pull the trigger, the sound echoes and the man falls to the ground dead. No time for remorse. More arms gripping me as I struggle, blue light explodes in front of us knocking back the other agents, as Jack and Genji begin slashing through the rest. The grip suddenly drops followed by a sickening thud.

" I'm sorry" muttered Genji.

My caduceus is on the ground, reaching I firmly grip it and boost Jack as he fires a pulse round toward the incoming agents.

" we are taking out the ones swarming from the north, any signs of anyone ?" Asked Ana.

" none" Jack retorted, his voice sounding strained.

" ch-" came a voice onto the comms, sounded familiar non-hostile.

Firing from above from bastion and Torbjorn could be heard and spotted.

Despite being grabbed recently this feels a bit easier than it should, like once again we are just being toyed with, Winston's body coming towards us at an increasingly fast rate.

" sorry we are having issues with our communicators" he said as he turned to throw down a shield. The cool blue protect-ant shielding us. Lucio adjusted his device to healing and skated around pushing any agents away, before speeding up again.

The purple beams of Winston's Tesla cannon lit the small area we were huddled in. Well. Everyone's backs were to me, we weren't exactly surrounded. Blood matted on Winston's back, using my caduceus on them as he grunted with approval.

" they uh shouldn't be in the house anymore" stated Winston.

" you don't know?!" Barked Jack.

" I haven't been in communication with Pharah! That was her job and she is more than capable, i would assume since she isn't in the house, that they aren't..."

" More than capable? look at the house Winston! " Jack yelled back. You could hear seething rage in his voice. My heart was racing as well, maybe I had too much trust in Fareeha? All this time Jack was right to worry. I... i fucked up. I fucked up again. Talon was after me. One look at him and they know who he belongs too. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

" Angela!" Shouted Lucio, scheisse.

I healed him while running my eyes over him. Minor damages but his own healing wasn't fast enough.

The area seemed clear now and Fareeha dropped down "why haven't any of you responded?" she angrily stated.

" communicator issues" grumbled Winston.

Suddenly a piercing scream went into mine.

" guess who" came the female voice. Scheisse.

" SOMBRA " I shouted.

The group turned to me, startled looks on their faces, the minor reprieve from hostile attacks.

" ha! So sorry I couldn't be there today" she laughed slightly.

" what no response? I'm hurt. Do I need to patch someone else through?" her voice went from playful to spiteful in one beat.

I covered my comm and repeated what she said.

" just don't engage" said Winston, as he put a backup comm onto Fareeha. She did a private channel with Ana.

" follow me to the hills. They should still be there" said Fareeha loudly

" bingo " said Sombra. Fuck. She shouldn't be able to get through...

I yanked the comm away from my face and turned to Winston.

" no communication. None. " I stated angrily.

" wait. We gotta move now" shouted Winston.

" I'm on it, just back me up" said Fareeha.

I pulled my comm off grabbing Winston as hard as I could, trying to get his attention without getting Talon attention, wherever they might be.

" we need to split up" I gasped out

" that's unwise" replied Winston.

Fuck fine. Just have everyone charge in they will get there first, this is so-

" Angela stick with me and Genji we will flank them. " said Jack as he held his comm away from himself.

" alright" said Winston with a slight sigh.

" move out" ordered Jack.

" Ana power me up" shouted Winston.

As he charged into a group of agents, screams and gunfire floated around us.

I kept my boost on Jack as he darted ahead, I would fly to him every few bursts. Our team was so small fighting off all these agents. Trying not to focus on how many dead laid around me. Where is our son? What if they already have him and are just distracting us... or worse.

" heal up" yelled Lucio as he circled around our small group. Concussion rockets in the distance.

" where are they" muttered Jack, I want to hold him. I want John. I want everything to be okay.

Genji's glowing eyes could be seen flipping through the trees slashing down enemies.

" movement" reported Ana.

" where?" Asked jack.

" Lucio, take McCree and go one click north" said Ana.

" on it" replied Lucio.

Jack hissed in pain as some bullets sprayed into him. I flipped my caduceus to healing and he seemed better.

" oh shit" came Lucio's comm.

" Meera" gasped Fareeha.

Soft moans could be heard.

" Tracer come get us" shouted Lucio. Jack started running, we couldn't see anymore hostiles nearby, I tried desperately to keep up.

" soldier wait" I yelled as loud as I could. My comm wasn't working again. Darkness was surrounding me in the trees. My wings giving off a faint glow. I honed on what I believe was him, stumbling on my landing.

" scheisse" I muttered. Voices in the distance as I tried flying to them. Bumping right into Jack on my way almost knocking him over.

" fuck Ange" he muttered.

" I lost you"

He let out a groan of pain and annoyance "i shouldn't have rushed off like that" he grumbled.

" did I hurt you?" I asked.

" no, i'm injured but let's keep moving. " he muttered worriedly, as we crept through the forest. Just the glow of his visor and my staff providing light. My wings had dimmed.

" shit it's a kid" said Lucio.

I felt as though I could finally breathe. Jack also let out a sigh but we have no idea on his condition.

" woah hey hey I don't know who... mom?" Said Lucio confused.

" found this kid, is he one of the people we should be looking for?" He asked.

" yeah, get in loves " said Lena over the comm to Lucio.

" status " asked Ana.

" I..." started Fareeha.

" I'm coming in" she added softly.

Jack and I waited in silence,the craft was just too far for us to get to quickly.

" I'm grabbing the others. Send locations" said Lena.

I leaned against Jack for a moment. His breathing was so strained, I pulled up my vital scanner.

" scheisse why didn't you tell me?"

" a bit busy angel" he grunted. "besides, i heal better than most" .

I healed him as best as I could, so many gunshot wounds...yet i'm barely touched.

" we should probably head to the others"

" not until I get you at least more regular"

He grunted and threw down a biotech field. The soft glow warming us, a calm in a way before facing everything. I'm thankful jack is able to see no matter how dark. This visor provided more visibility than his original eye piece.

" 76 location" asked Lena.

Jack sent the coordinates to her.

" yeh can't really swing that one. Come to the clearing okay?" She asked, slight frustration in her voice.

" on it" said jack.

I was getting signal again thankfully but I know my voice wouldn't be heard.

" ready?" He asked.

" go for it" I said. As he charged off I followed in flight bursts. Luckily he knew how to avoid paths that would end up with me smacking into a tree. As far as I can tell our son is fine, it's just Meera that we don't know about.

We could see the lights getting closer and closer. My heart was pounding in my chest. If I can just stay focused I can fix anything. He's fine she's fine. Everything and everyone is fine. Bastion firing some rounds off as we approached.

" you two better be here, we gotta move" said Lena sharply.

" right here" said Jack as he stopped and turned for me. I flew to him and I darted inside. Winston, Torbjorn, Reinhardt, bastion, Hanzo, Genji , Jesse, Hana and Lucio were there. In Lucio's arms was my very wiggly, Slightly bloody kid.

" mommmmm" shouted John as he tried to wriggle away.

" oh shit. Like. For real?" Said Lucio as he let John go from his grip.

" well how about that?" Uttered Jesse as he looked up, slightly tipping his hat, a faint smile on his face knowingly.

John buried his face in my neck when I reached down for him. Jack's pulse gun stopped going off and he jumped inside.

" are you hurt?" I asked softly while trying to pull him away from me to inspect him. But his soft crying and gripping me was breaking my heart.

" what's wrong my love?" I asked softly. His little body shaking and wriggling.

" where's dad?" He whined. I looked up at Jack who was shifting his feet. John couldn't see him from where he was, and how do I deal with this? I'm hardly a mom.

" does he not know?" Whispered Lucio loudly to anyone.

" hush up" grunted Jesse " besides we don't know who it could be"

" oh he looks just like Jack " said Torbjorn indignantly.

" it's okay... " I soothed while gently patting his back, he started to relax a little bit.

" Ana status" Winston sounded anxious.

" wait , Ana and Fareeha aren't back?" Uttered jack.

" no word from either of them" replied Reinhardt.

John started wiggling. Hopefully he doesn't know his voice to well to try and engage him.

I carefully stood up, his arms not loosening their grip as I walked over to a seat on the couch in the corner alcove sitting so my wings didn't hit anything. Warm tears on my neck.

" John John what's wrong?" I whispered.

" where's Meera?" He cried.

" uhm" I can't lie to my kid can I? Uhm.

" she... told me" he started hiccuping. " to be quiet and " he hiccuped " I needed " another sobbing hiccup " to stay there"

I rocked him gently, is there a book for this? Something? Trying to remember how people would treat me when my parents were on a dangerous mission.

" it's okay. You did what she asked, okay? You did a good job" I cooed. I tried to not look at anyone as I spoke to him but I could feel the awkward stares or attempts to avoid staring. His panicked crying was making my heart race. Where are they?

Booming noises in the distance.

" coming in. Prep medical" said Ana.

Scheisse...

" was... that aunt Ana?" Sniffles John.

" yes darling" I murmured stroking his hair and trying to remain calm. I need to get ready though.

" Angela you need to get ready" said Winston.

" John. Can you be really good and sit here while I do something?" I asked softly. I also don't know how to ask kids how to do things...

Reinhardt cleared his throat.

" would you like to see a magic trick?" He asked loudly.

John sniffled and turned looking at the large man.

" he's the best. I promise" I whispered. Johns grip got tighter.

I stood up walking over to Reinhardt as he carefully pulled my son off of me.

John started wailing louder and louder,But I had to prepare for the worst. And I cannot hold a kid and be a doctor at the same time.

Jack was standing near the door. His rifle in his hands, as he surveyed the area.

I cleaned off the table and tried to block out my kids sobs.

" woah there... Reinhardt let an expert handle this" joked Jesse in an attempt to help the mood. Johns crying stopped a little bit as Jesse talked to him.

" Angela follow me"said Jack gruffly.

" but" I started to say. He started moving and I followed as fast as I could, flying to him and running.

We could see Fareeha coming towards us, Ana following closely behind, firing behind her.

As we got closer I noticed something draped in Fareeha's arms...no.

" Fareeha is injured as well" stated Ana. Her voice sounded so soft and sad. I put my healing beam onto Fareeha. Then I could fully see Meera in her arms, or what appears to be Meera.

" we must hurry" said Ana " but I know Fareeha couldn't make it without help beyond my bullets"

With that some more rained down on us. Ana winced in pain and Fareeha tried to shield Meera who let out a raspy breath.

" I'll take her you fly and attack" said Jack. Fareeha just blankly stared. Jack sighed and returned fire at the hidden agents.

My felt something snap behind me. My wings... they could take damage but not quite like this. Shit we aren't far from the jet.

" how long has she been like this?" I quickly asked.

" over an hour, according to what she said..." Replied Fareeha, her voice sounded robotic.

Losing blood for over an hour, I walked closer to Fareeha, and burns, assessing and moving in the dark will always be tough.

" we need to move faster, can you fly?" asked Jack

Fareeha just frowned, in an almost trance like state, with her wounds healed she should be fine to fly.

" Fareeha... hello, I need to be able to treat her faster, without her inside my medical bay the less of a chance we have, I need you to get her there now! And I'll instruct you on what to do while I'm getting there" I spoke as forcefully as I could, this doesn't look good and every second walking in open firing areas the less of a chance I have at being able to... ugh.

I felt a shot whiz through my leg then whir by my ear, Meera let out a groan. Blood was spurting from her neck... fuck. Probably the Carotid artery..

"Fareeha apply pressure to the neck wound" i screamed, her hand clamped down from what i could see.

" Fareeha go!" Ordered Ana.

She just nodded and kept walking, then suddenly took off, shock works differently in people, so now I have to deal with Fareeha and Meera. Jack grunted and I healed him with caduceus, he started sprinting, honing in i attempted flight but tripped. Wings must be off kilter or destroyed.

" just run Angela" said Ana. I'm a terrible runner, especially in the woods at night, I trip over nothing and everything. The soft crunch of leaves under my feet as I added a hop to my running.

"Fareeha has returned where are you?" Asked Winston.

" technical difficulties" replied Ana.

" what should Fareeha do?"

"keep applying pressure to the neck wound, ask someone to put the oxygen mask on her but first check for anything obscuring her airway" I stated. We kept running, the lights in the distance. So burns, bullet wounds to who knows where to what internal organs, no nanotech in her bloodstream to repair said damages... scheisse... picking up my pace as my feet barely hit the ground. Finally running inside where she was laying on the table. John was crying, cannot handle that right now, I need to save the woman he has known his entire life. Meera's body barely moving with each shallow breath. The doors closed behind me as I rushed to her, scanning for vital signs, her heart rate is so weak, it's scarcely registering.

Voices shouting around me as I scramble to grab my kit to begin work when she flat-lines.I pushed Fareeha's hand out of the way and began sealing the artery, blood spurting up as her hand moved away, too much is being lost and too much has been lost... fuck. The sealant stops the bleeding, i grabbed the jump kit I begin my work. Barely stopping, but I managed to get a small heart beat going. Thank gods, I inject some nanotech, but I fear it's too late... more than half her body is burned, I can barely tell what is flesh and what is clothes. I've never recovered anyone from this. I cannot use my revive because this hasn't been in her long enough. The body would take at least a week to be able to adjust before that... I saved Genji... this shouldn't be different. Shouldn't be... I began applying burn treatments as the flight gently rocked the table.

Tears began spilling down my face as John kept wailing.

" I...i need" i whispered, as i stared at her body, the scanner was going crazy alerting me to injuries as i quickly tried to heal them, but blood was dripping onto the floor.

"Angela. " whispered Fareeha.

" but it could save her" I whispered.

"her body is too far gone" added Ana gently stroking her sisters hair.

"you aren't a doctor" i hissed as i held spare syringes between my teeth, ready to inject her.

"but i know my sister" came Ana's near sobbing voice. "she's in pain"

I stopped for a moment, her heart rate was so low, but racing despite it.. she's in so much pain.

Just let me try... I don't like letting people die who can be saved. Her vital signs fading again. I kept working, desperately using whatever I could to stop the bleeding and the pain. I could feel the bags that once held gauze crush under my boots, the table was slick with blood, her eyes not opening unless i injected the pain medication, then small flutters. Injections left and right, this is what I do. I save people. I can save her, glancing up at the screen as it flashed some more errors. I've brought back worse, i can do this... i need a team. Something anything, As i tried sealing the injuries off... she... her heart stopped again.

"why don't you want me to try?"

"We already know the prognosis, she's dying Angela..." said Ana looking at the scan of her sister's body. It showed the vitals, or lack thereof, it showed the collapsed lung, the broken ribs, compression fracture of the spine... severed arteries... that i keep trying to patch as i apply more and more of my serums. I injected some epinephrine into her and began working again, her heart slowly coming back, but just barely. Pausing to contemplate my next course of action, while i went into auto-pilot mode while cauterizing the wounds some more.

" Angela stop" said Ana.

" but I can..."

" just. Let us say goodbye please, before she fades away again " whispered Ana. Her voice cracking and tears were falling down her cheeks.

" I... I just. " I choked out. Looking at the wonderful woman who saved my sons life. Took him in and cared for him as her own. Did the same thing for Fareeha. This was their choice not mine. It didn't make it easier.

Ana carefully removed the mask as I injected her again so she could maybe hear us.

Ana spoke in a language I hadn't heard her speak in before. Fareeha also. Then they both looked at me.

" thank you" I choked out. My fingernails cutting into my palms.

That's all. That's all you can say to her? That's it. You horrible horrible human , you owe her your son's life. And all you can muster up to say is thank you? Are you this ignorant and foolish. Thank you isn't the proper word. Thank you isn't enough, she gave her life to protect John! Thank you?! Thank you?!

" I owe you more than I ... I... you saved him" I choked out.

Ana kissed her sisters forehead and her heart stopped for the final time. Fareeha started wailing,Ana gently placed a sheet we keep for these situations over her sister speaking softly.

I felt a hand stroking my back gently, i turned and felt myself sink into Jack's strong arms, he stroked the back of my head now with one hand while the other was wrapped around my shoulders. Fareeha and Ana sobbing softly in the corner. This was wrong. All wrong this could have and should have been would we tell him...

I could hear talking, but no words made sense, just the smell of blood, and leather. Our bodies tilted when the flyer landed, more voices and talking. Jack's hands slightly shook me.

A soft tap was felt on my shoulder from Reinhardt, in his arms was our very sleepy child, his little jacket slipped off as he was passed to me.

" Angela" said Jack

" what" I asked.

" Has John been injured?" he said worriedly.

" what?!" I looked down at our child who must have came to us.

He had blood stains on his little shirt and bullet hole going through it. I noticed the blood earlier and didn't think anything of it... idiot.

" John? Are you hurt?" I asked, trying to remain calm as he woke up groggy eyed.

" not anymore" he replied his blue eyes looking at me. The team had already cleared out but Fareeha and Ana.

" go we can handle this" said Ana.

Jack and I ran to my medical wing. As I gently placed John on the table and carefully removed his shirt. A sign of where a wound had been but no wound remained...just a large scar.

" what..." I whispered. Then it dawned on me, i was using my nanotech during my pregnancy, before i knew i was pregnant...

" Angela? What..." asked Jack, his voice breaking in anguish.

I cleaned off the area of the wound and showed Jack.

" how is this possible?" He asked as he removed his mask, as if he couldn't trust his visor.

" we made him" I said trying to leave it at that.

" yes but.. " he started.

" I need to look more into children of people like you" I said as I looked at him in the eyes, trying to avoid full discussion of this right now.

" what do you mean?" He was obviously clueless, but i had been too.

" the serum you had been enhanced with my love"

His mouth turned into a frown. I'm so stupid. How didn't I figure this out ? Then again I'm my own medical mystery

" could it hurt him?" He asked after a few moments of silence.

" no, well I don't know. But he healed so I think that means the exact opposite" I stated as John looked at us. His cheeks red from crying, and probably from the stress from today.

" we will talk about this later, I think you need to get to bed" said Jack turning to John.

John weakly smiled and reached his hands up for Jack, who obliged after slipping on his mask.

"can i go say goodnight to Meera?" he yawned.

Everything froze inside, my stomach knotting... we had arrived at the room, and quickly rushed in.

"John..." started Jack, his voice shifting, he often had to deliver news like this, but never to children...

John was wiggling and Jack let him down from his arms. We climbed onto the bed, and John looked at us, Jack placed his mask on the nightstand and sighed.

" John... Meera won't be around anymore" i struggled to get those words out.

"did she go away?" he asked.

"i'm sorry... this is hard to explain, but Meera is dead darling"

His little lip shook and his eyes welled up with tears.

"you save people" he cried.

"i couldn't save her, sometimes bodies stop working" i replied, trying to remain as focused and direct as possible, sugar coating this could only cause more problems.

John curled in between us, and i felt tears running down my cheeks, Jack's arms wrapped around us. I did the best at explaining... I've been told this so many times as a kid with people my parents worked with... understanding death was one of the more complex subjects and he is so softly cried himself to sleep , his little body was slightly twitching and holding onto him tightly. I carefully got up, i desperately needed to rinse all the blood off, Jack nodded and motioned for me to go. I stepped into the shower and just sat down, the warm water rinsing away dried blood. I couldn't save her... my mind swarming with emotions. Exhaustion beginning to take over, quickly toweling off and changing into something more comfortable for sleeping. As i stepped out i saw Jack holding our son... he looked so content. I crawled into bed, snuggling up to Jack as he held John.

Tomorrow would be full of questions. And tonight I just want to cry. He was now ours, completely. There is no backup plan. We are now his parents full time. A knot was forming in my stomach and a wave of nausea took over, Jack gently stroked my hair and offered a slight smile. He looks happy... so damn happy, but it's making me feel so out of control.

 **A/N: Sorry that this took so long, once again i had it typed up but wanted to edit edit edit and edit. I thought a lot about how this would happen, and i hope it's okay. Once again, thank you to everyone who reads this, whether you comment or not, it truly means a lot to me. I know i say that a lot (and i say that a lot, ha) but it really helps. Every review and just reading in general is encouraging.**


	40. Chapter 40

**A/N: I've been asked to go into her early life, so here it is! Also, trigger warning for Self Harm (i don't delve into it too much, but if that will upset you i can edit and send you a trigger free version! )**

Just two months before my fifteenth birthday. I was sitting in my room on base...my parents away on another mission. I was back on the base with my tutor, one of many. They had programs for kids of soldiers but I kept advancing. I graduated high school at eleven. I also had classes at the local university. Never really thinking about it, it just came naturally. Mom disagreed with me wanting to become a doctor but after seeing all of their friends and my friends die in war, it was what I wanted. It came naturally to me, the hours of studying theorizing everything.

Cancer was being cured every day, new tech being developed and the adults in my classes judging me as I surpassed their grades. This is what I wanted. I tucked a lose strand of my long hair behind my ear to focus better. They should be back soon... a scuffle heard in the hallways.

I tried to shut it out. More injured and wounded no doubt... dad had taken a bullet to the knees the week before and shouldn't be out there. I yelled and screamed at him that it was foolish. But he just kissed my forehead and left... I told him if he keeps doing this he won't come back. Stubborn...Both of them. My mom also argued with me saying " you might think you know injuries and the body but you don't understand everything. We need your father out there, by my side" She forgot to say goodbye that morning. I didn't come out of my room anyways to do a usual farewell.

My dad entered my room and that's when we argued. I was livid, and rightfully so.

"little one, you know i have to go... my knee is better now!"

"i highly doubt that, it pierced muscles, they don't just get better...despite all the medical advances" i uttered grumpily.

"Hey now, i know you are in advanced classes, but you aren't a doctor...

yet" he argued back smiling.

"True, but i'm clearly working on it, and it doesn't take much to know that

you aren't okay to go out today" i growled back, trying to focus harder on my studies.

"just leave if you are going to be stubborn" i added with extra angst.

"i cannot leave without hearing an 'i love you' " he softly said.

Clenching my fists, and blinking back tears, stupid emotions... always showing.

"then you won't hear it from me! because i don't want you to go"

"i have to go, there's no way around this little one" he replied, his eyes

looking distant.

" i won't say it! " i growled back.

He sighed heavily and leaned against the wall, crossing his arms over his

chest.

"come on little one, you can't let your dad leave without a goodbye"

"if i say goodbye it's permanent" my throat tightening and my anxiety increasing.

"it will take more than these knees failing to kill me" he joked slightly.

Why is he joking about this?

"i have to study" bitterness dripping from each word.

His phone buzzed loudly. Time for him to leave...my futile attempts at keeping him here clearly failed.

He walked over to me kissing my hair and trying to pull me into a hug that

i struggled to get out of.

"I love you, little one" he said as he left the room.

"i love you too" i whispered but the door already shut.

My whole life had been this way. Base to base, waiting for them to I would wait outside when the transport came back. I feel an urgency to go today. I hadn't for a few months. But I did yell at him this morning. I hate yelling , I hate anger before these things. I pulled on my dad's leather jacket, I had put patches all over it, various buttons and things, he had some of his original patches on it. The huge x-files logo emblazoned on the back. Oh Scully, my weird role model, genius doctor and scientist... inspiration material. But it was mine now, from his youth. It was colder out today...

The air hit my face, reddening my cheeks.

I saw lily, Gareth's wife waiting, and I went to stand near her. Gareth was like an uncle to me,and lily... well she was his complete opposite. I took note of the large floral print on her dress, a stark contrast to his leather and take no shit attitude. No wonder he was my dad's best friend. I leaned against the wall, as the transport arrived. People getting off, wheeling people on stretchers quickly. One build looked familiar. But the body was so burned... squinting I tried to make out who it was, the medics racing inside. Everyone with those types of burns rarely live, there's tools to help heal burns faster but no one is really looking into it as much as they should be. But it's simple science, and people are just in it for money, and it's not a large amount of money in something so basic. I snapped out of my thoughts and squinted to see who was exiting.

Then I saw Gareth... why... why does he look so sad... no. No.

He started sprinting towards me... no. Fuck no. No no.

" Angela..." his voice cracked, my lungs burned inside my chest. I can't.

He can't.

My legs shaking under me. What are legs? Hands hitting the cement, little stones embedding themselves. A feeling. Tangible. Feeling. My ears pounding with blood when I heard an unearthly noise. My own voice screaming. A hand was on my back, don't fucking touch me. Don't touch me. I don't want to be touched. Fuck off fuck offffff

" FUCK YOU" came a scream from deep inside my chest.

" Angela please. There's still a chance your dad could make it" begged Gareth as I felt my body being lifted. My feet kicking into him.

Wait. Wait.

Wait.

" my mom is dead?" I whispered.

" yes baby girl. " he replied his eyes glasses over, jaw firmly set in place as he effortlessly carried me.

The fluorescent lights of the medical wing blinding me. I started kicking

again.

" where's my dad. Where is he" I begged my voice cracking.

Nothing anyone was saying was making sense until I saw him. Or what I think was him. My throat felt stiff, like I was choking on air.

" dad..." I whispered.

" it was... we were too late" said a doctor.

" this isn't funny" my voice startled me, like someone else was speaking

for me.

" Angela it's not .." started Gareth but he started crying.

" this is a joke right?! RIGHT?! Haha! This is all a joke. Yes?!" I stood in front of whatever remained of my father.

" this isn't... this isn't him. And this isn't real" I screamed

" THIS ISNT FUNNY" I yelled louder.

" Angela. It's not a joke... your parents..." choked Gareth.

I just kept screaming. I don't need to hear this. I don't want to hear this, I made a mistake. Time was irrelevant. It could have been hours. It could have been a lifetime of agony trapped deep inside my chest. My ears popped, and rang. I'm still screaming, as I felt a needle go into me. Silence as the numbness took over. I reached for his hand but it wasn't there. Nothing was there but flesh. Bones. A body without life laying in front of me. The same body that kissed me goodbye and I struggled to escape. Out of all the days, why did I chose today to argue? What if... did I cause this? Did my anger and bitterness cause this? It's all my fault. I should have said something, I should have told him I loved him. I should have said goodbye to my mom. Mom... where is... no. She's also gone. Together? What happened... I happened. Scraping my nails across my skin, desperately trying to return to reality. It's all my fault, no. This is because of war. This is because no one can settle things without violence. Pain in my arms... I've scratched too hard, trying to make myself feel like I'm actually alive, red lines and beads of blood on the surface. Walking to the bathroom was a struggle, I knocked over their toothbrushes, clattering to the floor.

Stooping to pick them up... what's the point. Then the ache started. The loneliness, the rage. Gone. They are gone, the cold tile startling me. How long was I out for? Blood dried around my arms. Scheisse... pulling out the rubbing alcohol and cleaning up the damage I inflicted, carefully wrapping gauze around my arms. The stupid toothbrushes. The ache in my chest started again, heavy sobs shook my chest. Rattling the very core of me, and my breathing couldn't regulate. How long ago did I get the sedative? Arschloch ( asshole) they didn't need to drug me. I have class... wandering out to my phone to check my schedule. I went to my exams, avoiding everyone's stares and dull expressions of sympathy.

" I'm sorry for your loss" who even says that... oh everyone. It becomes second nature hearing it and nodding, people die in wars everyday. People fighting instead of talking, offers to talk to someone about it. What's there to talk about? War did this. The inability to solve things peacefully caused this.

My professor called me to their desk after class and threw the sad sympathy face. I don't need this today, but I gritted my teeth through my assertion that I was fine. Gareth tried talking to me, Dropping off food, but i just threw it away. Wasteful but my body doesn't want it.

I had a test the morning of their funeral, it was raining. I passed the test guaranteeing another scholarship and future job prospect. Discussion of foster care was uttered around me. My parents had no real plan which is ridiculous. Did they think they were invincible ? I had a hefty allotment of money from the government and from them that could only be used for schooling until I turned eighteen. Then it was mine, blood money, hey your parents died here's some money to fill the gaping hole they left. I rarely saw them in life anyways.

As the caskets went into the ground and salutes happened my body felt numb.

I don't even feel like I cried. I felt hugs as I tried to return the gesture but nothing worked correctly. My arms felt weighted, and it felt more like a duty than a comfort.

As time passed Gareth and Lily took me in temporarily. They helped me pack up my things and my parents things storing them in storage. They didn't think I could handle going through their stuff alone, and said some things I didn't need to know about. I'm not a child, never really have been. They couldn't have kids so I guess I'm some sort of consultation prize.

My birthday was nearing. Normally I would just drag my dad to the movies. Or we would have an x-files marathon. Mom called it a goofy old sci-fi show, but I enjoyed it. She liked to blame it for my fascination with science and he medical field. My mom usually stayed home and made a cake, she didn't like any of the movies I would take him to see. He would just smile and laugh through them with me, I'm not sure he understood half the stuff I liked but he was always encouraging.

" always get back up, and one day you will fly " my father said... he was my encouragement always. Bought me my first chemistry set, I made MREs and adhesives. The way chemicals mixed fluidly always reminded me of an intricate dance. Each component bonding to become something stronger. I took myself to the theater. Trying to focus on the movie but my mind wandering to my dad. My cheeks felt damp and a lady asked if I was alright. The lights were back on. Life continues.

A rough hand stroked my face and I ran. I didn't stop until I was at the door of the place I was to call "home".

Lily was there making a drink for Gareth.

" what happened ?" He asked his voice slurring words together.

" nothing, it's raining" i said, which was true... I had more exams in

the morning. I was set to graduate soon.

"Happy birthday" he mumbled. Lily turned and smiled, holding out some sort

of carrot cake, practical...

"How was it?" she asked softly.

"Beautiful" i replied, i don't want to talk about anything right now, i wanted to avoid my birthday, the crumbling cake tasting like ash in my mouth. Gareth gave me some old concert tees he had laying around, and Lily bought me a dress with flowers all over it, childish. I'm so bitter, i should be thankful, but i shouldn't be getting anything from them, it should have been... I felt tears forming again. Lily then disappeared for a minute. " we uh found this when we were packing up ..." she whispered.

" we knew they got this for your birthday, uh" said Lily holding out a box. I don't want to open it. But they are both staring at me. The last present I'll ever get from them. My stomach knotted. Digging my nails into my palms. My arms still ached. Inside was a lab coat... great.

" no no. Look at it. This one is special. " sighed Gareth. I looked at it. Official Dana scully lab coat. Not like the ones my mom made for me as a kid. This was the real deal. God. That show is decades old now, close to a century... how? I chewed my lip and blinked back tears.

" don't you want to try it on?" Asked lily with a smile.

" it's more of a collectors item" I mumbled carefully tucking it back into the box. The last gift i would ever receive from them, it began to tear into me. Slightly shattering the fragile grip i had, at least when i was working on something i could temporarily block out the regret and pain. But looking at their friends and the last gift was too painful.

Lily patted my head and announced she was going to bed, the scent of roses following her as she left.

He slid a glass over to me holding his finger in a " shh" way. The taste burned my mouth, but the warmth that followed was calming. I felt better...better than the sedatives they tried to give me. They always tried to disguise what they were but I knew medication. I don't need it, I need to feel in control and alert. Why did I accept this drink?

"How's school?" he grunted staring at whatever was on the tv.

"Fine, advancing again... Graduation is soon. "

"thatta girl, got more brains than both your parents combined" he slurred.

"oh i'm sorry, i'm sorry. that was wrong of me" he poured another drink for himself and put some more into my glass. Considering my mother was blown to pieces, yes... i do have more brains than them. God, i'm so morbid right now. I need to think practically about this, i'm fifteen, parents dead,from war... still living on a military base... what is the use of war? War breeds nothing but hatred, and more war. Nobody ever really wins, it's just a constant power parents never understood my opposition to them fighting, they thought they did it in the name of those they wanted to protect, but doesn't every side think they have something to protect? isn't it just... so ridiculous. I'm only a year away from the legal drinking age, so this isn't that big of a deal. Gareth smiled and patted my shoulder.

" look, I know you... I know this is all hard for you. But we love having you here" he slurred.

" thank you" I replied, slightly flinching.

"my god... you are so different from them sometimes. All shaky and anxious... " he almost chuckled but refrained, focusing on his drink, and i took another swig of mine. ...happy birthday to me... I know i'm anxious, i know i have the shakes when i overloaded, it's a side effect of whatever they want me to take. In surgery my hands are still, everything is silent and nothing bothers me, or wrecks my focus.

He stumbled off to bed and I curled on the couch. Letting re-runs lull me to sleep. They were gone a lot when I was growing up. I still feel like this isn't real, like they will just appear back from a mission that took too long. Apologizing that they decided against bringing me to the base and instead let me stay with whoever would watch me. I truly didn't need anyone to watch me back then... well maybe before I was eleven, which obviously was the case. Over half my life they were gone, so why is this any different? Oh. I cannot just call or message them. See videos of them they would send from various places. I no longer had to worry while watching the news. But I still did, more wars, more death tolls. It's always just a number of lives lost, each number seemingly larger than the next. Most people become numb to it. But you know those numbers are lives, actual lives. Each number has a personality and families being affected by it. Those numbers expand when you look at it that way. It's easier to just ignore it. To just let yourself identify them by the numbers. Because why does it even matter? Except it does...it all matters. Becoming a doctor is the most important thing I will do. It's the only way I can truly bring peace to some. If I can avoid anyone else suffering I will do it, no matter the cost. I tried and tried to be as nice as humanly possible, you never know what people are going through. Healing wounds and providing some comfort is all I am good for.

Then Gareth died and my life changed again. Another number in the death tally of war. He died a " hero" rescuing people and rushing back into a heavily armed area. His death was quick from what we were told. Lily couldn't handle me, I wasn't bad or anything I just... I was too much for her to keep. I guess I was like a memory to her, I tried to help her but her depression was too much. She would often wake me up and hold me. Telling me all her fears , all of her regrets, all I could focus on was the scent of roses mixed with salty tears. Then there's the fact that I could do nothing to help her. I was in the same emotional boat, completely torn open from grief. The fact that I would be leaving again, I truly care for her but I understood. She needed to move and go away, I had my classes to attend and I wasn't about to transfer. She needed a fresh start more than I did.

A family took me in, they had a son that hated me. Called me the orphan genius. As if it was some sort of badge of pride or something. They didn't expect me to be so intelligent and set in my ways, I tried to avoid arguments but it seemed like something new everyday. My office became my only solace, they would call wondering where I was and question the staff. It was beginning to ruin how I appeared professionally. I stole their alcohol, went out at nights patching up people involved in rioting against the destruction of omnics. By day I was taking an internship for some head scientists of one of the most prestigious labs. I came home bloody one too many times and the foster family didn't want me anymore. They were against the omnics and I didn't want to fight them or anyone.

I filed for emancipation, to live on my own or in a dorm somewhere. It worked, somehow, I guess being a college graduate with multiple degrees at sixteen helped. Then being accepted into the head labs helped. Friends weren't something I knew of, family a distant memory. All these photos of people I knew that died. I was utterly alone. I would drink alone at night while working on thesis after thesis. Proving them again and again to my superiors.I had developed new methods of tech for life saving equipment. I was fine alone, better off would invite me out sometimes and I would say I was busy, I was but I should have allowed some time for " fun".

I took a dance class here and there to try to round out my interests. It was something my mother always pushed me to do. They missed all but one of my performances as a kid. That kind of stuff makes you not want to do it anymore. But returning to it older was like a connection with her. She was always a beautiful dancer. Her body would spin stories that she would never tell. I misunderstood her, I never bothered to get close to her before she died. I always figured we were so different, but we weren't. I think she just gave up on me, she saw how much my dad and I had in common. Apparently she felt she was failing as a parent. That I didn't have a childhood or something. That is all true... and I blamed her mostly for it.

As for friends now...I did eventually make some sort of friends in class, but the outside world was separate, becoming "friends" with delivery people, whenever i remembered to eat. That's not exactly true, i made a few friends, i just didn't have time for them with everything i was juggling. I got called out for being a flake all the time, but when you have a hospital calling you at all hours of the night, day... whenever. I don't feel that i should treat people that way, i force out love and happiness and peace. I met some nice people at rallies for peace, but half the time they ended up clashing with violence. The world isn't pushing for peace. I was such a grumpy, miserable teen, i feel like i've changed so my awards as a chance for rare public speaking on the importance of peace, and non-violent solutions.

Fuck. Drinking, dancing and medical advancements followed with an attempt at peace keeping. The life story of doctor Angela Ziegler. At least I stopped physically punishing myself, besides the alcohol. Despite the lab coats people could still tell. I designed some burn therapy and scar treatments, and started over , i had a patient to thank for that, they researched me heavily before deciding to get some new experimental treatment. I guess it was the exhaustion on my face, or the long hours i put into his stay. making sure his wife was always comfortable and reassured before i began cutting into her husband, her only support in the world. That must be nice, i would think, slightly jealous but also wanting to save him more than anything for her. She was like me in a lot of ways, an orphan early on, went through day as i did my morning check she demanded that we had a coffee. She carefully pulled things out of the deep corners of my mind, and said what i needed to hear, " your parents are dead, but you aren't... live your life", i held back tears, and it wasn't until later that i broke down. She was right, i am still alive, i'm not some machine designed for just curing people, i can have a life too.

I had my doctorate... my surgical license, my psychology license, my masters of science. There are more abbreviations behind my name than I could fit on the placard on my desk and on my door. I worked in hospitals while working in the lab at night. Constantly trying to learn more. I was judged a lot by patients and staff. They would question my age and skill level, but my methods and my surgeries had the highest success rates. Then becoming the head of the hospital changed a lot of things. The things I had designed were saving so many lives. I begged for funding, I used my own inheritance for medical research. Countless lives being saved, but nothing to bring back those who had died. Nothing to come home to except stray animals that I fed, and whatever alcohol I grabbed. I was a genius in some ways. But personally, I was a mess. Being taken to warzones occasionally to help with the overflow of injuries...That will always be hard, just seeing people how my parents had been. Fighting for what they believed in, getting injured beyond repair. I use the word repair like people are machines, they are in a way, flawed programming, equipment errors, some functioning better after injuries, feeling new "leases" on life and whatnot.

Behind every soldier is someone who cares about them. Behind every argument is someone else being affected by it, try to win and someone loses... someone always loses. It all comes back to numbers... cold numbers, logical numbers and statistics. It's easier to just apply a numeric system to a tragedy, but the minute you realize these are people who you could have saved... then the grief process starts up again. You begin to realize that what it takes to save people is funding... constantly funding.

Having awards and ceremonies felt so empty, using them to try to spread peace and to beg for more interest in the various tech. Being the head of he hospital still an empty victory when you have no one to share it with. When you have no family to talk too, and people still wouldn't support your theories. Which is why when some blue eyed blonde haired soldier appeared to me... I couldn't refuse. Despite all my attempts to thwart him.

 **A/N: So there it is, and possibly one of the most soul barring chapters i've written. So if you hate it, that's fine, i can live with that. If you think self harm is a bit out of character for her, then i'm sorry. She's a very self-sacrificing person, so i don't find it out of character, but that's fine! To everyone reading, i truly appreciate you all so much! believe me!**

 **Also, if you struggle with self harm, my inbox is always open. I didn't delve too much into it, because i definitely didn't want to trigger anyone.**

 **Please don't yell about the formatting, for some reason the file saved weird, it got all kinds of messed up and i did my best to salvage it, you can take or leave this chapter obviously, but for those wanting insight i wrote it. I know there's a lot of breaks in time, but i tend to over-write and i wanted this to be simpler. Thanks for sticking around for my ramble-y authors note as well.**


	41. Chapter 41

Morning came before I thought it would, John cried himself awake and jack and I attempted to calm him down. I was brought up with an understanding of death, it became an ordinary thing, it only started affecting me horribly when I got older. When you are young the magnitude of it doesn't register how it should. Jack never grew up knowing death closely. Besides his grandparents.

Jack tried calming him down but it wasn't working. How does parenting work? Does it just come naturally ?

I curled him into my chest and he started to settle down. His breathing was becoming less rapid, and his sobs turned to sniffles. Jack had a sad far away look on his face, he was probably anxious too.

" is Meera coming back?" He asked quietly into my chest.

" no, darling, she isn't" I softly said.

His little body shook again

" why couldn't you save her?"

" your mom did all she could" interrupted jack.

" but she's supposed to save people"

" I am, and I tried, but sometimes people can't live anymore"

He whimpered and curled into me more. Little fists twisting my hair as I looked at jack.

He was deep in thought, and I could tell something was bothering him a lot, scheisse his medication.

Now my son thinks I cannot help people, I'm a failure in more ways than one this morning. Last night I couldn't save her, or I wasn't allowed. I don't know anymore, it all happened so fast and I am not sure what to think, besides I'm disappointed in myself. I should have injected her before when she visited. I could have saved her then...

A knock on the door caused me to get out of my repetitive horrible thoughts.

" I'll get it" said Jack as he put on his mask shuffling over to the door.

" I just wanted to see how you were doing" said Ana, her voice sounded so weary.

" Ana!" Squeaked John as he got up and ran over to her.

" hello dear" she said as she scooped him up.

" mind if I borrow him for a bit?" She asked.

" that's up to him" I said.

" do you want to come with me for a bit?" Asked Ana.

" yes!" He happily said. His first smile since he's been here.

" aright it's settled then. I'll let you know when we are returning" said Ana, a smile forming on her tired face.

As the door closed Jack heavily sighed.

I buried my face into the pillow and he paced.

" you need your medication" I mumbled into the pillow.

" what?" He asked as he stopped pacing for a moment.

I lifted my head up " you need your medication" I said clearing my voice.

" actually, I'm handling this better than I thought" he said with slight pride in his voice.

Rolling into my side to look at him I almost smiled. " it wouldn't change immediately, I'll be right back okay? ...Wait. " remembering I kept a spare in the room.

" come over here" I said as I pulled the cap off. He obeyed and held out his arm, slightly wincing as I injected him. Carefully recapping and tossing it into the bin I have.

" now you, come over here" he said grabbing me and gently placing me on his chest as he laid on his back.

" I guess we are parents now" he said.

" yep" I should feel happier. But the circumstances are not happy. I carefully traced my finger over his jaw. And he gently pushed some hair of mine back that was hanging over my eye.

" there's so much I don't know" said jack carefully " for example, I know basically what he likes, but he feels like a stranger" his mouth twitches into a frown. I kiss the edge of his lips trying to drag the frown away and he returns the kiss. A slight smile formed for a moment as he looked into my eyes. The sadness still there and hiding my own would be impossible.

" I know... we will just have to learn"

" but is this really the place for that? Shouldn't we be doing something else. Or something " he asked.

" I don't know" I twisted a strand of hair around my finger and he lightly swatted my hand.

" the separation worked because he wasn't in the same place as you, with both of you together it adds to everything that has been going on. Talon would love this... " he growled, pausing for a moment, his eyes flicked with rage. " now they probably know he exists. "

" shhh, if he is here no one will let anything happen to him, it's all okay darling, you of all people should know this. You already judged him staying just with two people. This is a secure facility" I whispered.

" you are right, as usual. This isn't going to be easy"

He started to sit up, but gave me a kiss first, the palm of his hand brushed against my jaw, before gently cupping my chin. He pulled away and sheepishly looked at me.

" how do we... I mean you explained it... I just don't know how to help him deal with Meera's death" his voice was low.

" I think Ana will help, but we just need to be realistic about it, it's unfortunately something that happens and if we don't discuss it with him openly then he won't understand, which will only make matters worse..." I mumbled. He stroked my back gently and looked into my eyes as if trying to make certain of what he was going to say next.

" I never really dealt with it til I was older , as you know. I think you are probably best at discussing this with him" he softly said, looking completely lost.

I looked at him, trying not to express how painful this was for me. Growing up with death was hard.

" It's hard, I never thought I would have a kid. Or-" my voice cracked and tears started falling. His strong arms cradling me, as he placed a kiss on my forehead.

" I- I never... I ... I would be so disappointed in myself"

" shhh you wouldn't be"

" I would never want another kid to have the childhood I did... it's"

" he's not going to have the childhood you did"

" you would be right. His is already more traumatic " I grunted.

" he seems to be handling it just fine" he tried to comfort me, I should feel comforted instead guilt is stirring inside of me.

" I know this is bringing up a lot of emotions for you, and things you haven't fully dealt with, but you are doing the best you can. You did what you thought was best for him..."

My lungs felt full and heavy, each breath was a struggle. He picked up on it and stroked my hair.

" did I? Or did I not have any proper options? I could have just. Run off with him and-"

He pulled away from me and cupped my chin in his hand, looking at me with his sad blue eyes.

" angel, you know that would have been dangerous" his voice was rough.

" more dangerous than going into war zones and helping with the injured? Bombs going off and rushing in?"

I snapped bitterly.

" Angela, from what we retrieved on their computers they had been following you, it would not have been safe...I'm going to tell you something that I've told you before and that you know already but you clearly need to hear it again. Angela, you are the most compassionate person I have ever known, you are also intelligent. You do make rather suicidal choices from time to time to somehow punish yourself. You, are alive. You are here and you are trying and that is beyond good enough, you can't fix everything but beating yourself up for past decisions will solve nothing. Absolutely nothing. All you can do is push forward" his words washing over me and filling me with a warmth, just like his lips gently pressed into my cheek.

" I missed you so much" I choked out, his face changing to sadness and he kissed my nose.

" I missed you too angel" he sighed. I missed everything about him, but his personal pep talks always ranked high on the list of things I needed.

"And you are going to be a great mom... I've always know that, I just..." his eyes going glassy again. You could see the war waging behind his eyes, rubbing his temples and clearing his throat.

" we really should discuss this with the others I guess" he sighed.

" discuss what?"

" John being here"

" oh I thought you meant-"

" it's bad enough they want you. Now our son. If I'm alive. You are all dead" his eyes tightly shut for a moment, his face grimaced in pain.

" are you alright?"

" I'm fine, I just. I remembered a question. What exactly do you think is different about him... medically " He asked.

Great...

" I'm not sure until I run some tests on him. But you are a super soldier... and I was definitely working with some chemicals during pregnancy-"

" not to mention being in the field. Flying around around god knows what kind of chemical attacks" grumbled jack.

" you would be correct but he is alive, and beyond healthy from what I can assess" it came out sounding more stern than I wanted.

" I crossed that line again didn't I?"

" yes jack, you did. " i muttered, it's been a long 24 hours... I won't hold this against him.

" I just, you are a doctor. You would have screamed at anyone doing that" he said with a slight smile. His face relaxing a bit, and he seemed calmer.

" oh jack. You know we never did follow the rules " I whispered as my lips met his.

" ah! No distractions no matter how enticing, we really should go talk to them" he said.

" fine" I kicked off my clothes, as he hungrily glanced at me.

" I regret my decision, come back" he grunted.

I bent down grabbing the closest pair of leggings I had, making sure my ass was in plain view.

" oh this is just cruel " he whined. I shot him a smirk

" you are the one wanting to get everything done" I teased as I changed quickly, he was already dressed and ready when I finished applying makeup and doing my hair.

"I'm sorry about last night by the way, I know it never gets better losing someone" he whispered gently kissing my forehead. " but you did everything you could, and they didn't want you to keep going... I have no doubts in your abilities, just sometimes it's not your choice"

" yeah..." I sighed reaching for his hand as he put on his mask. It clicked in place and we walked through the halls. Everyone we passed looked exhausted except for Hana and Lucio who were stationed in front of the projector yet again, this time their shoulders touching. Cute.

Jack knocked on Winston's door, this seems like an endless parade to his room.

" come in" he boomed

As we walked in he turned around in his chair, almost knocking into his most recent project. Finally successful barrier.

" I'm sorry about yesterday Angela " said Winston softly.

"Part of the job I guess" I mumbled " but thank you, I wanted to talk to you about o-my son" I said softly, correcting myself.

" he's welcome to stay here. You are our family, and he is growing up just like.." he stopped himself, and I just shuffled my feet.

" however we do have a lot to discuss as a team. Namely the safety of you and John. " he said pausing as he frowned a bit.

" there's more to this than us, Winston" I replied.

" talon is becoming more aggressive, who knows who or what they will target next besides just us. We are simply a wrench in their plans" added Jack.

" about that... " started Winston but he stopped and turned back to his computer.

" I'll let you know when the meeting is, for the time being try to rest up" he hurriedly said. Typing away on his computer.

" there's also a spare room here, as you two know. If you want him to have his own room, because I think that's what kids need?" He laughed slightly and returned to typing.

Part of me thinks he knows about jack. But I know how much it affected all of us. Nobody believed me initially, I'm surprised Genji hasn't said anything, since I initially confessed my suspicions to him. Or maybe they all know but don't want to say anything to make it known.

" i should probably check on how Torbjorn is healing and check on Jesse " I suddenly said.

" yeah, good job with him by the way, it's good to see all that work paid off" he said, he sounded sincere. After all he was the one who had listened and helped me prepare my speeches for getting the approval on the project. Not that I had explicit approval in the end. There were rules and obstacles to get through before human tests.

" it's truly a marvel. I never really thought it would. I mean the science was all there but the first tests were so wrong... and it..." breathe. Just breathe don't think of that.

" don't think about it" said jack gruffly as he rubbed my arm, approaching Lena and Jesse. They were lounging around, Jesse cleaning peacekeeper and Lena spying on Hana and Lucio while pretending to be interested in her phone.

" morning" said Jesse as he looked back down.

" oh hey! Where's the little guy?" Asked Lena as her face lit up even more.

" he's with Ana, I wanted to ask... before the meeting later, is it okay if he is here?"

Jesse looked up, this guy rarely smiles, or maybe it's because he's usually holding a cigar in his mouth but a large smile spread across his face.

Lucio dropped his controller and Hana just laughed softly.

" of course it's fine" she squeaked before destroying Lucio's character in game. " haha! That'll show you!" She giggled bumping into his shoulder playfully.

"Of course it is, it always would've been" Lena exclaimed, her eyes brightened, and Jesse poked her shoulder, she tossed herself into his lap. They looked pleased for some reason, but then again who knows with them.

" Jesse when you get a moment I do need to run some scans on your body"

" now is fine" he replied leaning forward as Lena plopped next to him.

" that is fine" nodding while walking towards my office with Jesse.

" so a kid?!, never thought I'd see the day" he said as I checked him for any injuries.

" I'm surprised Lena never told you" which is totally true.

" I never thought she could keep a secret either" he laughed slightly.

Everything was looking absolutely normal.

A knock at my door, behind it was Torbjorn.

" ran into uh soldier and he said you'll be needin' to check me " said Torbjorn.

" ah yes, just give me a few minutes and I'll check you" I said. Thank goodness that saves me a trip and pulling him away from whatever thing he is working on at the time.

Finishing up with Jesse was easy, since everything was in regular working order, or better. Typing in the notes felt incredible, finally what I've always wanted to accomplish was done. Except I couldn't save... quickly wiping away a stray tear. I need to check Torbjorn.

" you are welcome to enter" I called out as I stood up getting my things together.

" and how are yeh today?" Asked Torbjorn.

" as good as I can be" I uttered as I grabbed the scanner.

" how about you? Any pain anywhere? Or?"

" heh. When ya get to be my age it's normal. But no new pains of any sorts" he said slightly chuckling.

" I didn't know you had pain. I can help manage that for you" why don't people tell me these things?

" it's nothin' to concern yeh with, I work with metal. I hammer, bound to feel some pains here and there" he retorted.

" well, if you change your mind you know where I am"

I stated, trying my best not to sound annoyed. If anyone is in pain around me I want to know, I want to help. It seems that is all I can do now is heal... except-

" oh I made some adjustments to yer wings! Yeh did quite the number on them" he slightly chuckled again.

" I wanted to tell yah that it's good to have yer kid here as well, makes me miss my own, so it's good to have a youngin' around" his cheeks flushed slightly, eyes looking sentimental.

" thank you" trying to control my voice from shaking.

" well I'll see yeh when I see yeh" as he left.

Typing down his improvements as well as his pain into my charts. I need to do a medical evaluation on our son as well... I wonder what exactly his abilities are compared to jack and I.

Walking down the hallway to find Jack, not in the main area. My eyes lingered over the the room that held the freezers and medical supplies, the freezer room would have... don't think about it. Focus on finding him. Maybe the field or working with bastion again?

Opening the doors as the crisp air hit my cheeks, pulling out a cigarette to sit on the roof, Jack was just finishing a run, Jesse was with him... hm.

Lighting it up I waved at them as they returned the gesture.

Jesse walked back into the building as Jack came over wrapping his arms around me from behind. His mask bumping into my neck.

" have you heard from Ana?" He asked.

" not a word. But that's okay, I mean. He's not used to us and it makes sense..." exhaling a large cloud of smoke with a sigh.

" you should probably stop with this experiment " he murmured, I could hear a slight tsk in his words.

" yes, I suppose you are right. Just another week though."

His hand rubbed my hip tenderly, and a sigh was heard.

" I think Jesse knows" he mumbled.

" well if Lena of all people can keep a secret I think he can. I'm honestly surprised Genji hasn't said anything"

" why would he say anything? It's not like we were close" he grunted.

" but we were. And I may have told his my suspicion after dorado" I mumbled exhaling again, then savoring the inhale. The slight crackle.

Jack grunted some more. His arms held me tighter.

" I'm sorry about that"

" sorry? You helped me. And I got my shoes back" I tried to joke.

" I should have told you then... or.." he stopped.

I froze.

" what..." I choked out finally

" not out here" he mumbled. I could feel his heart pounding.

"Alright..." I tossed my cigarette butt and crushed it with the toes of my boots.

We walked inside hand and hand. His shaking, what is he hiding?

As we approached the room we saw Fareeha walking to her room.

" sorry for keeping him so long, you can have him back if you want?"

She asked. Her voice sounded so tired and strained.

" in a few" I replied. I need to know.

She nodded and went to her room. As we got to ours and closed the door I felt angry.

He shuffled from foot to foot. Carefully pulling off his mask.

" what ?!" I demanded. My voice was breaking with emotions.

" I was there ange. "

I felt the color drain from my face.

" where?"

He sighed and walked over to me trying to hold me.

" i-" he tried but his heart rate was so fast.

" jack calm down you can tell me anything. I'm... i will understand. " I said softly.

" just come sit down please" my voice shaking as I perched on the edge of the bed. He sat and his face looked so shaken.

" when you... when you visited my parents. I was there. " he whispered.

Is it possible to be angry ? He's back that's all that matters. But for fucks sake.

" you mean ... your parents sat there. Knowing? And just..." tears spilling from my eyes. Why am I crying? I'm annoyed, but not annoyed annoyed. I'm hurt.

Digging my nails into my palms.

" no, they didn't know then...I waited..." he said carefully.

" it would have been the time to tell me. Instead you..." I stopped myself. What is the point in anger? It's not doing either of us any favors.

" I'm not angry at you, I'm really hurt. I thought you trusted me " my voice barely above a whisper.

" I always trusted you Angel, I was in a very bad place at the time. " his voice was so sad, almost heartbroken.

" so your parents know..."

" they know..."

I sighed and laid my head on his shoulder. He let out a long sigh and stroked my hair.

" they love you by the way" he added.

" but who couldn't ?"

A smile crept onto my lips. I thought I was meeting my dead boyfriends parents. Apparently I met my very much alive boyfriends parents.

I want so much to be mad at him. But I still don't know exactly what condition he was in after everything happened. He was so miserable before the explosion, he tried to hide the anger from me, but I knew it was there and it seethed from Reyes. Thinking about that will cause nothing but rage.

His hand gently caressed my arm, and his heart rate was getting more normalized.

" I didn't mean to get upset"

" you have every right to be. I thought about that so often. Watching you drive away was like losing you all over again... I was so broken then. Seeing you there made me feel more guilty, I just. I couldn't do it. I couldn't face you. I hurt you, and now knowing everything you were going through it just-"

" we cannot change it " I interjected. My voice sounding stronger than I expected. This would have killed me to know it years ago, but now, in his arms with our son a few rooms away, I cannot be angry.

" is it okay that I'm still not wanting to talk too much about that?" He asked.

" it's normal. There's lots I don't want to address" I said, brushing a wisp of stray hair out of my face.

" my parents would be so thrilled to know they have a grandson" whispered jack, his eyes looked far away.

" I should have told them ..."

he gently pressed his lips to mine.

" shhhh it's fine. I just meant that they would love to know, not that you should have told them" he comforted.

I nodded and sighed.

" but one thing we should currently work on is how to help him handle this" said jack.

" I'm just trying to push it out of my mind, she was there more for him than I ever was" a lump formed in my throat. "She witnessed everything, first words, steps... rocked him to sleep, loved him. "Fuck.

" at least you didn't have to change diapers?" He tried to joke.

My face buried into his chest, the musky smell of leather filled my nostrils calming me, a hand stroked my hair, and I almost laughed.

" you've seen me deal with things far worse than diapers" I mumbled into his chest.

" true...we will just have to see how he handles it. We will work through it, we've worked through so much together" I could feel his cheek press onto the side of my head.

" but I don't know how to be a mom" the attempt at holding in sobs just caused my body to shake.

" and I don't know how to be a dad"he calmly replied.

" you had a dad around though and mom" I whispered. Thinking about this only upsets me, I never had a good relationship with my mom. Maybe her attempt to change me instead of supporting me.

" sweetheart, you learned how you should and shouldn't be, you had time to realize that, just try and use it, and look at Fareeha, she turned out fine. A bit abrasive but fine. All you have to do is love him, I mean she turned out just like her mother the more I think about it"

Damn, I don't know how he managed to comfort me well, but everything feels more manageable.

" I love you" was all I could muster to get out of my mouth.

He squeezed me, then carefully placed a hand under my chin tilting my head up at him, wiping the tears off my face.

" and I love you " he said as he pulled me into a kiss.

This was weirdly perfect, despite my upbringing he provided me with comfort, something he had always done. I felt his hands glide down my sides and stroke the small of my back. The longing sensation pulsing through me. The exhaustion of everything that has happened and that is weighing on me melting away with each kiss as he pulls me on top of him.

A buzzing comes from his pocket and from my phone on the table. Fuck.

" he's taking a nap. Winston wants to have a meeting" was the first message from Ana. Then Winston's message calling for a meeting was the next.

Jack groaned and kissed me again.

Light stubble tickling me.

" I know we need to go, but .." he started to say in between kisses. My hips grinding onto his.

" we still have fifteen minutes" I whispered.

" mmm but that is hardly enough time" he whined softly and kissed me gently on my cheek. His eyelashes brushing my face. Oh well, the chance to get out some intense frustration would have to wait, as we cuddled, carefully watching the clock. Nothing had to be said because there's no sense in starting a conversation before the meeting. It's just going to be a bad meeting no matter what.

As we headed over to the meeting room, I cannot help but think of what exactly went down yesterday, I'm too caught up in everything to realize the mass scale of the situation.

Settling into our seats, I glanced over at Fareeha and Ana, eyes slightly swollen, Ana had an arm on Fareeha. Guilt, guilt guilt guilt. Knowing that you had a large hand in what happened to cause a death is never something that just goes away. It eats at you , maybe not right away, but seeing this in front of me is causing anxiety but that also makes me feel guilty. Because they sacrificed everything and I'm feeling anxious.

Jack gripped my hand under the table, the way he carefully ran his thumb over my hand made me relax slightly.

" well, given the recent information, attacks and everything. I think it is best that we remain fully aware and stick together more often. I'm sorry if this seems obvious. I know we haven't had a couple of days like this in years. But this is why we are all here!" Despite how tired Winston is his voice is unwavering.

" and as you all know now we have a new little arrival here, someone who Meera gave her life to protect. For those of you who wish to pay your respects we will have a service. Losing one of our own has never been easy. And I don't want anyone to forget the sacrifices we make for our cause. " Winston's voice was now slightly shaking. He wanted overwatch back so much, and I don't think he expected to be leading us or losing someone so soon. My heart is aching for everyone right now, yes I am in pain as well, but being here for my family is more important than my own need to curl into a ball and hide.

Nobody said anything, the room was silent.

" alright. Rest up and for those of you who will join us it will be at seven tonight" said Winston.

Reinhardt walked over to Ana and put his arms around her, her tiny frame getting lost in his arms as the team filed out. Jacks arm wrapped around my shoulder.

Fareeha looked over at us.

" I can bring him to you if he is awake" she said softly, her strong voice wasn't present. Her eyes shadowed with exhaustion.

" that is fine" I replied as jack and I stood up heading for the main area and sitting on the large couch waiting. A few minutes later John was scampering over to us, plopping himself in jacks lap and staring at the projector that Lucio and Hana were playing on.

" what's that?" He asked sleepily still not fully awake.

" oh this?! This is Starcraft! " said Lucio.

"Ohhh how do you play? " he asked as his big blue eyes got larger with interest.

" oh I can show you!" Chirped Hana turning around to look at us, her smile slightly forced. Probably from the reality of everything happening. I don't think she fully expected things to go how they did.

" can I?!" He asked excitedly.

" uhm. Sure?" I replied as he scrambled out of jacks lap and ran over to Lucio and Hana as they excitedly explained how the controls worked and what to do. Johns hands were way too tiny for the controls and Lucio helped. They each took a side of the controller and started playing.

I couldn't hold back a smile, snuggling into jacks arms.

Jack never was much of a gamer, growing up on a farm probably had a lot to do with it. I was too busy doing my school work growing up, but Genji and I did go to a few arcades here and there, I'm not quiet sure why, I guess to get us out of the house. He was always good like that.

The giggling from the small group interrupting my thoughts.

We should probably spend time with him, but truly whatever makes him feel better right now is the best for him.

Lena and Jesse's voices came floating through the room, as they flung themselves onto the other couch.

" oh! Ya learning how to play Starcraft?" Asked Lena.

" yeah" replied John. His face scrunched in concentration.

" I love that game" she replied.

" hey Hana let's make it even teams and we can play how they are"

Hana smiled and motioned for Lena to join.

As Jesse looked over at us, he didn't have a cigar lit like usual, and instead was tipping back his flask.

Awkward, this feels awkward, I wish things were different but what can I do.

" are you letting us win?" Asked John.

" n-noo" said Lena.

" wellllll" said Hana as Lena shoved her arms against her.

" it's just. Hana is a world champion video game player" said Lucio.

" yeah, but I'm also sharing the controller with Lena! And we don't think the same" said Hana kindly.

" okay" responded John, Lucio ruffled his hair and laughed

" we got this bud" said Lucio with a sincere smile.

Glancing at the time it was already getting late, Jesse and jack were making small talk about some western I couldn't remember watching. So it all went above my head. The closeness and acceptance of the group was helping with my avoidance of things eating away my insides.

Reinhardt and Torbjorn entered the room covered in dirt and looking beyond exhausted as they stumbled to their rooms.

Genji walked into the room his face plate glowing as he settled into a chair. John looked up at him his eyes wide

" hey John! Press a! Press a!" Shouted Lucio excitedly.

John snapped back to the game and furiously smashed his small hand into the controller pressing buttons.

" what's a!? " asked John.

" the yellow one! " exclaimed Lucio excitedly.

" hey we won! We won!" Lucio cheered.

John smiled and looked back at Genji.

Genji tilted his head slightly and half waved.

" are you an. Uhm. Omnic?" Asked John.

" no sweetie, Genji is human, he just has different skin" I corrected quickly. I don't want Genji to go through self doubt about himself.

" huh?" John got up walking over to our group on the chairs and couches and looked at Genji with awe.

" I want to have skin like you" his eyes got big as he reached out to touch Genji.

" hey we ask before touching someone" said Jack with a hint of sternness.

" I don't mind" said Genji reaching out a hand.

" but we still ask" said Jack sharply.

John touched Genji's hand and his eyes only got bigger.

" of course it is proper to ask first" said Genji softly, sounding slightly jilted.

" what's it like?"

Ugh but he is only four. He doesn't know any better.

" it feels just like skin, just like how you feel" Genji stated.

" wow... why?"

" I had an accident years ago" Genji's voice was starting to sound strained. The sounds of the video game menu was providing a weird upbeat tune to this awkward conversation.

" like ultron"

" no that's completely different" chimed in Lucio.

" I agree ultron was more of an onmic, but a bad one. Can't watch that one too much. Reminds me of home" Hana said sadly. Lucio rubbed her shoulder gently.

At least my kids curiosity worked in Lucio's favor, John kept staring at Genji with the widest eyes.

" John why don't you come over here" I asked.

His eyes looked at me and back at Genji before toddling over to us and climbing onto the couch.

John snuggled in between us and stared up at the projector. Excitedly cheering for Lucio against Hana.

Jacks phone buzzed, after a moment he handed the phone over to me.

" johns usual bedtime is 6:30, if you need help just let me know. He already had time today to talk about Meera, and I feel it will be too stressful for him to go. Any questions?" Was a message from Ana. I'm not going to lie my gut reaction is hurt, hurt that we know so little and that we couldn't be involved earlier today. But the logical side of me is relieved.

We've had so little time with him, and launching into parenthood isn't easy.

With it being close to six thirty we had to attempt getting him to bed.

His eyes were already getting heavy with sleep. So jack easily picked him up and carried him to our room after the group wished him goodnight.

Jack helped him switch to pajamas.

" hey buddy, question for you " said jack . John looked at him sleepily.

" how would you like your own room?"

Johns eyes lit up then looked sad.

" I had a room..." he whined.

" we can make it like that one" I said carefully.

" really?" He asked

" really!" Replied jack smiling.

" or we could make it however you like" I added.

John smiled and snuggled into jacks chest.

" I don't want to go to sleep" he whined.

" what if we laid down with you ? Would that help you sleep?" Asked jack.

"But..." he protested his little voice shaking.

"What's wrong?" I soothed rubbing his little back as we crawled into bed with him.

" Meera would always read me a story" his eyes got misty

" oh okay, uh what would she read you?" I asked slightly panicking. I don't think we have any books here for kids. But we could probably pull something up on our phones.

Jack was already on it, scrolling intently.

I glanced at the time, we needed to leave soon.

" angel, you should go, I'll be fine here" said jack.

" noooooo" cried John burying his face into my chest.

Jack looked at me with a look of exasperation.

I cannot deny feeling the same way, I really need to pay my respects. But I know they will understand if we cannot come.

" what is it?" I softly asked rubbing johns back again.

" Meera is gone" he sobbed.

Now I just want to cry with him, my eyes filling up with tears.

Jack wrapped his arms around his gently pulling us into him.

" yes she is, but she wouldn't want you to be sad, she would want you to remember her and all she did with you " comforted jack. Johns little body shaking.

" why don't you tell us something about her?" Trying to steady my voice.

" she loves purple and watching old movies, and she loves books and cats and when I was sad she..." then he got quiet and started crying again.

" that is wonderful, thank you" I whispered kissing his golden hair.

I looked at jack and he shrugged slightly, but his eyes looked so sad and lost.

" I found a story you might like" said jack softly.

John sniffled and curled into him as we laid back in the pillows. Jacks arm tucked around John and I snuggled into them. Jack leaned over for a holopad and pulled up " oh the places you'll go".

As his beautiful voice began reading the more and more in love I fell in love with him, if that is truly possible. He did a voice and took it so seriously. I'd only read it as a kid, my parents thought it would be helpful with all the traveling we did. It helped but it feels the underlying meanings are more true now.

Johns eyes slowly closed as he read, and Now I'm feeling more relaxed than I had in weeks, maybe... just maybe this parenting thing won't be as horribly challenging stepping in so late into his young life.

Not that it won't be challenging... it's just... looking at their wonderful loving faces. It's one thing to picture this years ago, when jack and I would get out on a rare private trip. He would say something about kids and it would all be a weird alternate world to talk about. His eyes squinted a bit when he smiled looking down at our sleeping son and kissed him on the forehead. I can regret not telling him and I always will. But this, this is wonderful. But with his confession today suddenly I'm not so guilty about not telling him. He was alive, he could have told me. This back and forth in my mind is driving me insane, there is nothing that can be done to change the past. Wishful thinking gets you nowhere and anger just makes you resentful.

scheisse. It's so late now, we must have missed everything.

Jack leaned over kissing my forehead.

" I'm sorry" he mouthed.

It was only nine at this point, but sleep was top priority and the warmth and soft snores from John started lulling us both to sleep. Jack stroked my hair as his eyes began to close, a small smile was etched in the corners of his mouth.

 **A/N: sorry for this being so late, it's been a rough week! but thank you all for reading and constantly being encouraging, i truly appreciate it so much. I keep saying that over and over because well... i truly mean it, and i lack creativity with my thank you's! But each one of you who comments, or reads truly helps me. Special shout out to the wonderful VanderHart who gave me some excellent encouragement.**

 **Sorry if this chapter is a bit rough, but i mean, it's rough to write about!**


	42. Chapter 42

Fingers dug into my arms as I was shaken awake. John stirred in my arms. Panic set in, Jack had been holding me last night...

" I'll kill you Reyes" came a growling voice.

My hair stood on end and pain was shooting in my arms.

" jack" I softly whispered.

" let her go" growled Jack... fuck nightmare.

I pushed John away from us gently, trying to ignore the painful grip.

Shaking my head and trying to get my hair to tickle his face.

The grip loosened a bit.

" jack... shhh it's a nightmare " my voice a little louder than a whisper.

His hands recoiled and he gasped.

" fuck" he uttered, his voice strained.

" love... it's alright" I whispered, rubbing my sore arm, my eyes adjusted and I saw John curled around a pillow a few feet away.

Flipping my body to face jack, I gently stroked his cheek.

" I hurt you..." he grunted.

" it was a nightmare... you thought I was-"

" don't say it" he sharply interrupted. I could slightly see him sitting up.

" I'm sorry, I... I need a minute" he whispered. Laying back down and trying to absorb the warmth in the blankets as I felt him leave the bed. This isn't anything new, especially when dealing with Reyes stress before... sigh.

The door opened and closed, John stirred slightly but hugged the pillow tighter. My hand instinctively stroked his hair, as my attempts to sleep became a reality.

The sound of the door reopening startled me slightly, and his arms wrapping around me and gently kissing my neck. The scent of his body wash was intoxicating. I'm hoping his run was good and cleared his mind.

" dad" whined John.

" yes?" Replied Jack softly.

" did you leave?" He yawned.

" I had to go do something " Jack said after a few moments of silence.

" okay" said John as he backed into me and we snuggled him.

Jack's heart rate sounded normal thankfully. Much better than before when he left, I felt his hand gently move a strand of hair out of my face, his warm breath lulling me into sleep. This is comfortable, but John will need his own room, especially with Jack's nightmares. He has been doing better, it's probably just the missed dose catching up to him.

" wake up!" Shouted johns little voice as he bounced around. Laughter erupted from jack as he gently tackled him. I scooted out of the way, shaking my head in mock annoyance and turning on the lights.

John wiggled around and Jack scooped him up, their smiles lighting up their faces.

" where did you go?" John asked curiously.

" I had to go out for a bit earlier"

"Where?"

" outside?" Jack replied trying to not fully answer.

" oh..." johns voice fell.

" what's wrong?"

" can I go outside?" John said after a few moments of silence.

" sure can!" Said Jack with a smile, but the corners of his mouth twitched.

" now?!" He squeaked

" if that's what you want, but you should probably eat something first" said jack. I just laid there, guilt eating me. I know he had a lack of friends and playing outside. I know he had moments of interactions with other kids... but. I stifled a sigh and rolled onto my side looking at them, in their own world.

" okay, lets goooo" he whined.

Jack glanced over at me and I motioned that I didn't mind.

John got dressed and headed for the door, bouncing from foot to foot. Jack leaned over and gave me a chaste kiss, before walking over to John and leaving.

I could use a bath, my mind is just a complete mess. The nightmare, Reyes... John being here. That's terrible. I love having him here! The warm water washed over me. I need to do some tests on him today, small blood sample will be tricky. The mix of nanotech and super soldier serum could potentially have some weird side effects...or just make him some hybrid of us. Drying off and getting dressed took no time. As I wandered through the hallways it was unusually quiet. I glanced outside to see Jesse and jack playing with John. Lena was blinking around excitedly and avoiding being tagged, until Jesse tackled her. A smile crept on my face. The sound of a throat clearing jolted me to my surroundings. Ana was seated in the large chair sipping tea and smiling gently at me.

" how are you doing my dear?" She softly said.

Guilt. She's asking me how I am? She just lost her sister.

" I know what you are thinking, I'm fine. How are you ?" She said breaking my thoughts and knowingly looking at me. I sighed and sat down, she poured me a cup of tea which I happily accepted.

" how did you do it? I know we have talked about it before. Well before he got here, but... "

Ana smirked slightly, carefully taking a sip before looking at me and speaking gently " it certainly wasn't easy, she wasn't raised by me completely, but thanks to all of you she turned out quite well, i'm not sure she would have done as well elsewhere ... or even if I was around all the time " pausing to take a sip.

" I mean the thing is, I haven't been a good mother. I did my best I could while maintaining my position, she doesn't seem to resent me for it. I mean look at her joining this just like I did. Who would have thought the daughter of a soldier would have joined-"

My heart sank, and I felt tears begin to well up.

" oh my dear... I'm .."

I waved my hand dismissively, but I'm not going to deny myself that feeling. Here I am doing what I hated my parents for. I did struggle when I met Ana and Fareeha back in the day. Chewing my lip and trying to think of a response when the doors flew open and in came the group, laughing and jostling around.

" moooom guess what ? " squeaked John grabbing my arm and bouncing.

Trying to fight back the shakiness in my voice I squeaked out " what?"

" daddy and I won!" He exclaimed.

" oh did you? " I added a bright smile that felt like it could crack.

" yes!" He squealed happily.

Jack tousled johns hair, and gently rubbed my shoulder with the other.

Lena blinked over to the couch as Jesse brought her some water, her cheeks were flushed. That's odd, that rarely happens... I looked at her quizzically and she just half smiled.

Ana began talking to John about the game and I walked over to my British friend.

" are you alright?" I asked

" I'm fine love, just a bit tired"

" that's unlike you" I hastily replied as I checked her pulse.

" probably just need some tweaks done to my chrono-accelerator, I'll ask Winston in a few..." she said with a smile as she gulped down the water.

" I'll make sure she does" said Jesse with a slight look of concern. I nodded and walked back to my son.

" are we working on my room today?" Asked John.

Lucio and Hana strolled into the room looking exhausted.

" we can if you want, but you should probably nap first" said jack

" oh! Are you decorating?!" Squeaked Hana.

" I get a room! And we get to do stuff to make it a room" said John.

" hey uh... could we maybe help?" Asked Lucio looking expectantly at us.

" yes!" John answered happily.

" but right now my love, I think it's time for a nap" I said softly.

" but..."

" the sooner you have a nap the sooner you can work on your room" I answered, attempting at the mom thing.

" buttttttt"

" listen to your mother" said jack. I had to blink back a stray tear, hearing that was just... perfect.

" daaaaaw" cooed Lena, her flushed cheeks in a huge smile.

I stood up with jack and John reluctantly followed. Walking back to our room, I cannot help but worry a bit about Lena. I really need to do a full exam of her along with Winston.

" mom?" Asked John. My hand was on the door but I had been lost in my thoughts. Jacks hand pushed open the door, as John looked up at me. I forced a smile and walked into the room with my boys.

John hopping into bed and smiling.

" the sooner you sleep the sooner we can work" I repeated softly, as I moved to brush his hair off his forehead and gently pressed my lips to his forehead.

" sleep well my darling" I whispered. John smiled sleepily and curled up. Jacks strong frame in the doorway, motioning for me to come to him. His strong hands holding mine as I leaned against him, dimming the lights. John fell asleep quickly, and we cautiously exited the room.

Fareeha walked over to us on our way to see Winston. Or at least that's where I think we are headed.

" so, I managed to get a few items he liked. I have a list as well and Lucio and Hana offered to go out and get some stuff as well..."

" that is so wonderful thank you " my words dripping with gratitude.

" that was kind of you " said jack.

" not a problem " said Fareeha " however you might want to find Lucio and Hana before they go "

I nodded and thanked her again as we continued down the hall.

Lucio and Hana were happily chattering and scrolling through their phones.

" oh hey! So! We are probably going to run out to the store for John! And like. What should we get? We have some ideas but-" started Lucio

" we don't want to interfere or spoil or uh-" interrupted Hana.

" we don't want to be a bother" added Lucio with a smile. Both of their faces beaming with excitement.

I started to form an audible sentence but I truly don't know what to say exactly.

Jack responded " that would be good, did Fareeha say what he wants and likes?"

" yeah we got it" said Hana with a grin.

" are you sure it's safe for you two to go out there together?" Asked jack.

" awww are you worried about us?" Teased Hana.

" yes" replied jack curtly.

" we will be fine, nobody suspects us as part of the ' criminalized overwatch' reboot" laughed Lucio.

" well aren't you kinda a criminal? Stealing vishkar tech " said Hana.

" hey hey! I had help!" He shot a wink at me. Fuck. I did help turn stolen property into a weapon against the very place it was taken from.

" but she already is one anyways considering all the -" started Hana but Lucio clapped a hand over her mouth.

" we will be going now, sorry about that ange. " mumbled Lucio.

Ugh it's whatever. I sighed audibly and jack sighed and mumbled " kids today "

Which made me giggle. For once we actually are the mom and dad of overwatch and our nicknames are living up to be true. We continued onto Winston's room. Knocking on the large door and entering when he replied for us to enter.

" so, I heard you are working on the room today? That is excellent!" Said Winston as he smiled at the two of us.

" thank you, apparently Lucio and Hana are headed out to pick up some things.." I started.

" I signed off on it, I mean he has a show coming up and they both are well known figures, so if they completely avoided public people would get suspicious" said Winston leaning back in his swing.

" I do however have a question for the two of you. Well actually Angela but I know you have assumed the role of his dad anyways " said Winston.

I saw jacks fist clench, Winston used to tease jack a lot, it was a lot of back and forth and...

" anyways, obviously with the world not taking a break from missions and things. When or if you still want to go into the field would you be willing to trust this building and me to watch him?" Winston's eyes looked hopeful and sad.

" of course, is that all?" I asked

" you seriously aren't considering going back out-" started jack but my arched brow and stern face made him close his mouth. That ability is still there, I could almost smile at that.

" looks like you two have something to talk about. But I'm glad his mother agrees anyways " said Winston trying to dig into him again.

Jack's posture stiffened.

" has Lena uh... been in to see you?" I blurted out, trying to change subjects and also out of concern.

" Jesse told me about what has been going on, I did some minor adjustments but you should probably check on her later this evening or tomorrow, just something needed to be replaced" said Winston.

" is that all ?" I asked.

Winston nodded intently staring at jack. Jack just nodded and turned to leave. I followed behind him as the doors to Winston's room closed jack let out a frustrated sigh.

" can we make a deal?" He asked.

" depends on what the deal is" I carefully replied.

" I just don't want you to ago against talon when we finally narrow down where they are... I just..." his voice trailed off. I cannot blame him, there's plenty of other things to get accomplished and I don't really possess the skills to go up against them anyways.

" I'll do my best, but you know how they are"

" I do, which is why I'm saying that " he grunted, then his fingers interlocked with mine, giving a light squeeze.

He led me outside to the roof and I lit a smoke while staring anxiously at him.

He exhaled raspy again, clearing his throat.

" well he knows" he finally said.

Exhaling a cloud I half smirked then frowned.

" probably. So that's him and Jesse ?" I stated carefully not wanting to agitate him.

He ran his hands through his hair and rested his head on his hands after.

" I think" he said.

" I'm sure they respect that you aren't ready and want to keep it a secret, if anyone knows how important identity is it would be Jesse... and Winston wouldn't dare break that. He's probably just feeling left out" was my attempt at comforting him. His hand caressed my back, causing me to slightly shudder with pleasure.

" still works " he murmured turning slightly to me as his other hand tucked a lose strand of hair behind my ear. Nuzzling his hand I offered a reassuring smile.

" I'm sure everything will be fine" I cooed.

" speaking of which" he pulled up the monitor on his phone, the little watch John wore was tracking his vitals including sleep. The rhythm indicated he was still fast asleep. Lucio and Hana would be in town somewhere shopping... I wish we could do that.

I inhaled and exhaled a large cloud of smoke. It swirled through the air and jack leaned back, laying on the roof. The roofs rough surface greeted me as I joined him. The sky was so heavy today, clouds moving in, rain would be here soon. I could sense his desire to stay away from people for now. Luckily the help from hana and lucio would be easy, they are too caught up in each other to try and figure out the masked vigilante. Part of it is probably my fault for being with him, they all knew I couldn't move on from jack and being with this masked wanted man would only stir suspicion as to who they think he is. Plus our comfort level would be a giveaway as well. That and our son calling him 'dad'. Exhaling another large cloud of smoke, jacks hands rubbed my shoulder, something he used to carefully do around other members back in the day, we would keep everything concealed but sometimes our affection would show slightly. I lived for those little moments, while being secretive there was that little level of what was okay, but I was the only one he would do that too. A few suspicions arose, some articles hinting at our relationship because gossip happens, especially with the face of overwatch.

" what's going on in there?" Asked jack.

" ah , just reminiscing my love " I whispered.

I could hear a slight laugh come from him.

" I'm sorry you know ?" He carefully said.

" for what ?" I asked turning to him as I put out my cigarette.

" not being ready to talk about certain things "

I reached for his hand and held it, his strong hand caressing mine.

" you never need to apologize for that , we are a team and we each have our own issues " I said.

" but you are so caring and-" he started.

" you have seen me at my worst, and you helped me, and I love you, never ever feel the need to explain anything to me " I felt a pang of sadness go through me. He had truly been there for me through so much, always there, except... I shouldn't think about that.

He's back and that's all that matters.

The little indicator of johns sleep popped up.

" ah it would appear he is waking up " I stated.

" we should probably go inside then, and see our son " he said slightly gleefully.

" indeed " I replied. He stood up and helped me up, his strong arms around me as he pulled me into a long hug and rested his head on top of mine.

" I love you angel. More than I can put into words..." he said barely above a whisper. As we walked back inside we could hear Hana and Lucio excitedly chattering and carrying large bags of things.

" we are back!" Shouted Lucio waving at us.

" we got paint and stuff too! Figured we could ask bastion to help!" Cheerfully chirped Hana.

I smiled, despite not having an extended blood family anymore , this was my family. Jack nodded and pulled me backwards into his arms. His large muscles holding me against him.

" that sounds like a plan" he said with Happiness apparent in his tone.

" we have to go get him now, he's waking up" I stated.

" okay! We can start by bringing the stuff to his room!" Said Hana happily.

" that would be wonderful! " my smile grew as I responded and as we walked to our room to get our son, gracious that is still so weird.

Opening our door, John ran to greet us. His arms wrapping around jacks legs, as I closed the door behind us.

" guess what my darling ?" My voice full of excitement.

" what?!" He shouted.

" your friends have brought back some things for you! Would you like to see?" I said.

His little eyes turned into saucers as he peered up at us.

" yes yes yes yes!" He yelped, pulling on our hands. Jack opened the door with a free hand and we walked out, John in-between us happily swinging our arms as he walked.

" hey buddy! " said Lucio waving excitedly as we arrived at John's new room.

Bastion stood whirring next to him, and Hana.

John's eyes lit up as he stared up at the large bastion.

Bastion shyly waved.

" John, this is our friend bastion, he wanted to help paint if that's alright ?" I asked gently.

" yes! " said John happily.

Jack opened the door to the room and John immediately began running around it, small little bed, table and tv were in it, but plenty of room to play.

Lucio began pulling a few things out of the bags. Like a captain America nightlight, to which John started speaking hurriedly about it. His eyes looked glassy, this is good though. He needs things that make him feel more at home. Fuck... my chest started cramping up as more comfort items were pulled out of the bag , each one something John had lost when the safe house was burnt.

Attempting to control the shaking in my hands was hard but jack picked up on it, of course he did. I half smiled, watching John cheerfully interact with Lucio and bastion.

This was how I was raised basically, fake family , a new room from base to base, attempting to make it feel more like home. Fighting back tears wasn't easy but Fareeha, Ana and Genji entered just in time to distract John from seeing an escaped tear slide down my face as I quickly wiped it away.

Ana scooped up John and smiled, she whispered something to him that made him laugh.

Genji carefully approached us, I think he's still anxious around jack, just like Jack has never really been comfortable around him. He has no reason... well... maybe a slight reason to be apprehensive.

" Ana mentioned he always wanted dragons on his walls... if it would be alright with the two of you , I would like to paint one" Genji stated in a careful tone.

I waited for jacks answer , of course it would be okay...

" that would be great " said jack, his voice sounding sincere. I don't think anything could bring down his mood right now.

" I want a black and red dragon " said John interrupting.

" please?" I reprimanded him.

" please?" He said looking at Genji.

" very well" replied Genji as he walked over to the paints.

Bastion was carefully working on one wall, Ganymede was chirping around and landed on John's shoulder. John started giggling and carefully reached to pet his head but gaynmede took off. Flying back to bastion, who beeped grumpily at his little feathered friend for being so rude. Ganymede returned to John's shoulder as John carefully touched his head. After a few happy chirps he flew back to bastion.

" so we have dragons, and captain America , anything else?" Asked Lucio.

" uhmmmmm" John wiggled and looked around his eyes wide and happy.

" well we can always add more later!" Cooed Hana as she leaned against Lucio, her brown eyes smiling as well.

Fareeha began filling the drawers with clothes, folding them carefully under the watchful eye of Ana who would tsk under her breath whenever something wasn't done right.

" daaaaaaad" whined John after a little bit.

" what is it?" Answered jack.

" I can't pick between this one or this one" whined John as he looked at two stuffed animals, one was a dog, and the other was a dinosaur.

" uh... they are both yours " said jack, as soon as the words left his mouth John began happily squeezing and holding the toys to his chest.

Lucio stood near us and softly whispered " couldn't find ones like the ones he had, So I'm glad these worked".

A genuine smile spread across my face, I'm so lucky to have such caring people in our lives.

I turned to look at bastions painting of a large shield of captain America. It was lovely and in perfect shape.

" bastion this is amazing " i said in awe of what he had done. He happily whirred at me and waved his arms.

I turned looking at Genji who was still painting the most intricate dragon on the wall, Hanzo stood in the doorway with a slight smile etched in the corners of his mouth.

Jack noticed and motioned for him to enter, his smile grew bigger, a rare rare occurrence from the man who rarely let his emotions show.

" would you like some help?" He asked Genji. Genji opened his face plate and clasped his brothers shoulder for a moment.

" I would be honored " he replied as he handed over a brush with a smile on his face as well.

John wandered over to them hugging his toys to his chest and watching in awe.

I gently linked my arm into jacks and leaned into him.

" this is good " said jack softly into my hair. His mask allowed him to whisper slightly.

" es ist wunderbar" I replied happily ( it's wonderful)

" du bist wundervoll" he gently responded ( you are wonderful).

My emotions took over as I buried my face into his chest, the fact that he could still speak some German is so comforting. We had worked so hard on it, then again he did want to know what I was saying under my breath half the time when I joined... and then he was more curious to know what I would try not to moan out loudly during sex.

" awwwww" cooed Hana " look at mom and dad" she added with a giggle. My cheeks flushed and Hanzo arched an eyebrow before returning to painting. Both of them working in sync.

" I think we have done all we can help with in here, but if you need anything let us know" said Ana as Fareeha stepped next to her.

" thank you so much for all your help" i said sincerely. Jack offered his thanks as well, bastion following the two women out of the room.

" and Genji that painting is simply marvelous " said Ana kindly. Genji bowed his head slightly

" thank you , I learned from my brother " he said with pride.

The room was really coming together so well, it looked like the perfect room for him. Hana and Lucio had set up some action figures carefully and put some toys in the toy box.

" well I think we did all we could" said Lucio cheerfully.

" thank you, I think we are all done here besides the dragons " I said while looking around, the bed was made already, clothes and toys put away and displayed.

" daddy I'm hungry" whined John.

" alright, shall we go make you dinner?" Asked jack.

" please!" Said John wiggling around in excitement. He probably feels the same way about jacks cooking as I do.

Hana and Lucio took off to probably play more Starcraft.

" did you want to come?" Asked jack. I should eat , however I should check in on Lena. Her missing out on something like this is very out of character for her.

" maybe, I need to check on Lena "

" I'll save you something, you can come with me bud" said jack as John took his hand.

My cheeks hurt from all the smiling. Once they left I walked over to Hanzo and Genji who were lost in concentration.

" I really appreciate this " I whispered.

Genji turned out of his trance, his face plate still up and his eyes looked so happy.

" well, we really appreciate you " said Genji.

" oh pshhht" I mumbled.

" it was good having you around all those years" said Hanzo with warmth in his voice, odd.

" oh uh. Thank you. I don't know what I would have done without you two " tumbled out of my mouth. Verbal betrayal. I chewed my lip for a moment, and Hanzo and Genji shrugged and gently patted me on the shoulders.

" well, my brother wouldn't be alive if it wasn't for you" stated Hanzo as he turned back to painting. I backed out of the room and walked to Lena's.

Jesse answered the door after I knocked.

" how is she?" I asked the tired cowboy.

" eh she's holdin' up just fine, Winston made some adjustments and uh-" he stepped outside the room closing the door behind him.

" I think she was exhausted due to the anxiety of it all or that's what Winston said to me" Jesse softly said.

" Poor Lena, that has to be stressful" I sighed, slightly rubbing my temple.

" ah she'll be fine in the mornin' but you know how she hates to hear about it " he muttered.

" my lips are sealed..." I promised offering a slight smile. " just let me know if you need anything " I said as I turned to leave. The intoxicating smell of cooking was mildly distracting. However the worry about Lena was still gnawing at me. I know the chrono=accelerator makes her able to stay tied. It would be scary to not know if you could just disappear... we did however figure out what we needed back in the day. Her first mission was an absolute worry... a slight smile formed on my face. Jack had been so worried about letting us go, I don't even think the PR nightmare was his main worry. It was everything the weight of the mission on just the four of us... returning back safely and into his arms was an absolute relief despite all the meetings he had to conduct later. The beginning of the end of overwatch it would seem. A heavy sigh escaped my lips. Everything was fine then and

everything will be fine now...

I should probably grab some swabs to check John's health and such and figure out what exactly is going on with him. As I opened the doors I felt strange relief, my lab was always my happy place. A smear of peanut butter was on the counter near some leftover chrono-accelerator gear Winston had worked on. A towel quickly cleaned it up, I used to keep cleaning wipes around specifically for peanut butter, I had wipes and cleaning supplies naturally but only one kind would work to eliminate peanut particles.

Carefully pulling out my basic test kits for nanotechnology, and super soldier serum detector. The tricky part is not putting it into any traceable data system. With his lack of being sick as a child I doubt any record of him would be on file, or any DNA profiles. Thankfully so, otherwise the son of jack Morrison and myself would be common knowledge at this point. Then again if John got sick Meera... oh Meera... my hands gripped the kits tighter.

Arriving back at the room unnoticed John and jack had eaten and they were curled on the bed together watching something. I quickly closed the door so no one would see Jack's face.

" mommy!" Said John wiggling.

" hello my darling , would you mind helping me out for a moment ?" I asked.

" with what?" He asked excitedly

" well! I have this kit here, and it can tell me all sorts of stuff about you.. uh" I paused how do I explain?

" okay" he said with a sweet smile just like his fathers.

I instructed him to let me swab the inside of his mouth as I sealed it into a small container. Then I did another and sealed it in another.

I set a timer and joined my two loves of my life on the bed.

" wait, is this..." I started. Staring at the familiar brown dog with a shaggy companion.

" scooby!" Said John happily.

I smiled and snuggled into them.

" he picked it, apparently Lucio randomly had it" said jack with an amused expression.

John started drifting off to sleep it would be a shame to wake him...

" he will be upset if we don't wake him up, he wanted to sleep in his new room..." Jack's voice spoke so softly and so happily.

" then we should take him to his new room?" I whispered back, handing jack his mask and he clicked it on, gently lifting John in his strong arms.

John's little hands curled around his neck as we quietly walked him to his room and carefully placed him onto the bed. He stirred a little and I placed a kiss on his cheeks.

Jack tucked him in and we turned on the monitors. It's weird to have cameras monitoring him, but it's better than nothing and we used extremely old and unhackable tech for this. The watch would also tell us if a disturbance and track his movements.

Jack reached for my hand and we walked back to our room, the bed feeling slightly empty until jack pulled me onto his chest pulling me into a long and deep kiss. Everything tingled, his touch like jolts of electricity washing over me. Pulling away for air he smiled at me, the corners of his eyes squinting slightly with sheer joy.

" you are amazing, you know that?" He whispered into my ear, the warm breath causing me to shudder in pleasure.

" mmmm someone used to tell me that ?"

" oh really ?" He teased as he nibbled my earlobe.

" oh yes... he used to tell me that quiet frequently "

" oh a man used to tell you that? Hmmm. I figured all men and women thought that... probably some Omnics as well and certainly some primates"

A giggle left my lips and I shoved my blushing cheeks into his neck.

" oh did I make the great dr. Ziegler blush? "

" you absolute goof!" I laughed.

" and how did I manage to get so lucky for a moment of your time?" He kissed down my exposed neck.

" ah, you happened to be available I believe " I joked.

" my angel!" He gasped in mock shock.

" oh shhh you!" I attempted to push him away, but in the process his lips met mine again. His pinky fingers pressing belong my jaw as his thumbs brushed my cheeks as he deepened the kiss.

My body shook with delight, as I carefully traced a finger down his neck.

The little alarm beeped slightly, he probably woke up... jack sighed and looked over at the monitor.

" I'll go" he said.

" okay, I'll prep your medication and..."

" change into something more comfortable ?" He interrupted.

I smiled and replied " I am comfortable "

" yes but I know how much more comfortable you can be" he taunted while getting up and putting on his mask and leaving. As I pulled out his medication the timer went off. My body felt a cold chill as I stared at the tubes. Such high levels... what the hell did we create? No firm results or any stable hypothesis was forming. Cloudy is how I would describe my brain. So jack... a super soldier, engineered to be stronger, faster more bullet proof than your average human. It increased his muscles, his vision his... well pretty much everything. Then the nanotechnology, but not any nanotechnology, my experimental nanotechnology that I was performing without any pre-approval from the board. Much more than what I did with the original caduceus, so... this combination could basically create... no no no no. Scheisse... what did I do.

My stomach felt weak and my throat felt tight. Dry heaves shook my body as I laid on the cool tile in the bathroom. How do I talk about this stuff. How do I talk about any of this to him? Honesty is always the best, but I really really messed up using the untested revive on Reyes and I also messed up injecting myself with the tech as well... what I'm injecting myself with isn't the same as what I used on Reyes... but apparently I exposed our son to it. How do I even begin to explain this... I heard the door opening and jacks heavy footsteps enter.

" angel... what's wrong?!" He yelped with concern as he crouched next to my curled up body.

" jack... I don't..." I gasped out. Then our phones went off with the emergency alarm.

 **A/N: Sorry for this taking so long! I haven't been feeling well and the anti-biotics are making me really nauseated, so please forgive any typo's, it's really hard when some of these names always come up as "wrong" due to the fact that most of them won't be in normal auto-correct, so i tried.**


	43. Chapter 43

The loud bursts of alarms made jack jump to grab our phones, quickly flicking off the alarms and returning to my side.

" do you not feel well enough to stand?" He softly asked, kissing my hair.

" I'm fine, I just... I felt sick, but I'm better now" I whispered softly. I hate lying. But I cannot disturb him if there's something we need to go do. This is mine to worry about for now, I have more researching to do anyways. He helped me to my feet and kissed my forehead.

We walked to the meeting room and took our seats. Winston sighed looking exhausted and grunted about something in Ilios, the artifacts we protected years back finally aren't the reason. More civil unrest according to the news Winston flipped on.

Attempting to focus on the mission but my head was swimming.

" Lena won't be joining you on this, Angela I'm not sure if you want to go or can go" said Winston seriously.

Jack's hand held mine under the table, squeezing it.

" I have nothing against going " I said softly.

" alright then" he replied as he pulled up some maps, Ana and jack began talking strategy of how to best deal with this attack upon civilians. Our rogue team looking more or less prepared. My mind keeps wandering back to what could possibly be going on inside of our son's body.

The sounds of chairs moving and bodies shuffling around stirred me from my thoughts momentarily.

There's people that need medical attention, there's plenty that I can figure out about John. Everything is fine, my inner mantra.

" I'm going to go grab some more ammunition, do you need any help with your kit? " asked jack.

" that would be wonderful, meet in the lab?" I asked.

He nodded and went towards the firing range.

I ran back to the room to grab the test kit I did and ran it back into the lab, storing it away and jotting down basic notes.

Genji was standing in the doorway and I froze.

" just some stuff I've been working on" I cheerfully called out. Fuck. Too much.

" Angela..." started Genji but jack appeared behind him as I was packing up some of my medical bag, the to go bag had to be re-stocked and this was our first mission since...

" oh we should probably give the monitor to Winston or Lena or someone who is staying back" I said out loud.

" I'll go do that now" said jack gruffly.

I slightly tilted my head and half smiled.

As jack headed away, Genji tilted his head slightly.

" you do know you are a terrible liar, but I will respect your needs to keep secrets" he said softly.

" it's nothing" I muttered as I added more things to my kit.

" if it is something then it's not nothing. It clearly is something"

" genji..." I warned.

" I'm sorry I didn't believe you" he added.

" believe me?"

He then opened his mask, showing eyes full of seriousness and concern.

" when you said you saw him" he started but then stopped this was all that needed to be said about this matter. I held up a finger to silence him.

" very well, do you need help?" He asked.

" help is on his way" I said trying to force out a smile.

He nodded, his eyes showing sadness still. Guilt was eating at my insides as I knocked over some empty vials, glass shattering on the floor.

I let out a defeated sigh and Genji grabbed the broom and dust pan.

" I got it" came mumbling out of my mouth.

"It's okay if you don't" he reasoned.

" what do you mean by that? I have it. It's glass I can clean up my own mistakes!" I snapped.

Why did I snap?

"Angela! No one is doubting you. You need to stop expecting the worst out of people, after-all you always used to look for the best in everyone..." he argued back, his eyes almost went red for a moment.

I feel sick, like claws are tearing apart my stomach.

" I'm sorry I didn't mean..." I started to say but then stopped, his eyes returned normal and he looked calm again.

" just... let me help you" he softly said. I just shook my head in approval and slumped on a chair.

The tinkling of glass shards being swept up gave some calm. The anxiety taking hold of me again as I tried relaxing my breathing.

" I believe there is more to what you are saying... if I may say so" said Genji empathetically.

" please, can we talk about this later? I want a clear head for this. " I pleaded. He just nodded again and emptied the dust pan full of glass into the trash. He gently patted my shoulder and left. Another loud sigh escaped my lips. You know... he could just react normally to this. I mean he's a very understanding guy, no matter what I used to tell him he always had trust that I could resolve things, despite the worry I put him through. Or it could go horribly wrong... a hand rested on my head and I turned to face him.

" ready?" He asked gently.

" yes" I replied.

" John almost woke up for a moment, but he went back to sleep" he said as he picked up my gear.

" I'm glad the alarms didn't wake him"

" well, Winston made sure they wouldn't ring while he was asleep " said Jack with a happy tone.

" he thought of everything" my voice sounding more enthused.

" it's a good situation currently. But not ideal " he replied.

I looked up at him, sometimes forgetting the mask hides all ability to read his expressions. Then again he always was fairly stoic.

" what do you..." I started to say but Ana and Reinhardt joined us walking to the craft.

" later, I have an idea but I think it's fairly sound " his voice sounded so pleased. I will stop feeling guilty. I will stop feeling guilty. He knew I was around chemicals, we've been through this argument before so the only worry left is just temporary worry about what will happen to John as he ages.

" I cannot contain how much I love having your son around Angela!" Said Reinhardt snapping me out of my thoughts.

" oh? Thank you " I said slightly smiling.

" it's wonderful that we have a little jack running around, he would have been so-" started Reinhardt but then he stopped himself and just frowned for a moment. He had spoken at Jack's memorial, I was dazed during it. I don't even remember it but I know how hard he took jacks " death".

Jack and I Stored away my medical gear. It was a relief to see everything cleaned up since...

ugh. Stop Angela. Focus. This is getting ridiculous. Settling into my seat and tucking up my feet. Once jack spoke with Ana he came over to me.

" you look lost in thought"

" a lot on my mind my love " I said as he held my hand.

" so what exactly are we doing? Like. In ilios?"

He let out a laugh " Angela... did you not listen to anything during the meeting?"

I glared up at him, and he just sighed shifting his seating position.

" reports of an unknown terrorist agency in the area, so we just need to clear them out, is the short version. " he stated.

" unknown unknown? Or like, they don't want the public to know?"

" unknown, like completely new, no idea what we are dealing with, but don't worry, you are staying here with bastion while the rest of us go out" he said as he rubbed my knee.

There's no point in arguing, until we know it is safer to be on the down low.

" but! If we need you then obviously you will fly out" he added.

I glanced up at the cockpit, no Lena was sad but Ana was handling it.

" we should be arriving shortly" she said as if on cue.

Jack squeezed my hand before finalizing the plan of attack with Ana. Explosions turning the sky orange and black.

" alright team, we may be down one but I believe we can all pull through as long as we stick to the plan, as always make sure to update us all on what you are witnessing. Angela will be waiting back here with bastion, she will be monitoring your health, however if you need backup do not hesitate to contact her" said jack. He sounded like the old Jack Morisson in this moment. A smile crept on my face, despite all the bad this was a relief. Bastion walked over to me and I put in the communication chip while adjusting my own comm system. Jack walked over squeezing my hand before he took off.

I settled into my seat looking at the map indicating where the teams were headed and monitoring their health. Staying focused was top priority. The chatter over the comms sounded promising. Jesse was with Ana thankfully, it seems he has a knack for getting injured in these locations. Which he already had, but Ana made his vital signs normal again. Nothing but some scratches and bullet grazes.

Inputting the notes into my holopad as I observed. Staying back today was for the best, because my mind is flooded with distractions. Ganymede chirped at me and I looked up from the map.

He flitted onto my shoulder and chirped happily trying to drown out the sounds of explosions.

" bomb spotted in the lower section of town. I repeat. Lower sector by 4th street. Make sure no civilians go that way" said Ana.

" right by it, you got it" said d . Va

Glancing at the map, I noticed some weird movement creeping near that point.

" seventy-six and Ana, please look at the south end of 4th street on your maps. It might be nothing but..."

I spoke into my comm clearly.

" affirmative" replied Jack, shots could be heard in the distance.

"McCree and I will scope it out. We are closer than you, soldier " said Ana.

" we could go" said bastion, I looked over at him.

" stay where you are" said Jack gruffly.

" I understand" he replied.

" that was good of you" i comforted him.

Hanzo's health beeper went off.

Pulling up his body analysis I noticed multiple lacerations, possibly shrapnel?

The ground shook slightly.

" mercy mercy" said Genji.

" I'm getting a read on him, can you pull him to a safe area?" I asked.

" coming back for you mercy" said jack. " bastion guard the ship, I'll be there in a minute" he barked out.

I flung my smaller kit around me, but as I watched his vitals drop...

" come on" shouted jack standing in the door. I glided to him and he began sprinting. Genji peered over a ledge.

" get up there, I'll watch your six" said jack forcefully.

My wings lifting me into the air as I knelt in front of the very close to death Hanzo. I gripped my staff, blinking back tears. There's always a chance it won't work. Hanzo and genji were softly talking. Genji deflected some stray bullets as Hanzo took a shaking last breath. The monitor was going loudly declaring his death.

I exhaled sharply and pointed my caduceus at him, muttering the phrase that triggers the revive to work.

" heroes never die" and then his body glowed. The nanotech overworking to bring life back.

He gasped and nodded his head in thanks.

" all clear" said Ana on the comms.

" should I?" I asked to no one.

" follow me" said jack. I jumped down to him and he began sprinting off. We passed Lucio and Hana. Making our way down the old city streets. Some destroyed others like beacons of hope.

Suddenly his arm flew across my chest and that's when I saw it. A wall of fire coming straight for us, he pulled me into a half burnt building. I knew he would try to shield me but I threw myself in front of him. Our chests pressed together as the ground shook, I fell on top of him. A searing pain in my back almost registered me unconscious.

" fuuuuuuuck" shouted jack.

" what the fuck was that?! Why did you do that?!" He was yelling as he lifted me up so he could asses my damages.

" god damnit, Angela?! Angel!" His voice was cracking inside his mask.

" I'm sorry I'm so sorry" he gasped out.

" I'm fine" I breathed out wincing as I felt the flesh slowly start to fall off.

" I'll be fine" I whispered.

" how... nevermind. We need to get out of here" he grunted as he picked me up effortlessly. As more apologies kept being uttered between cursing.

" angel angel... how. What. I..." his voice breaking as he ran faster than I had felt before.

Some back and forth on the comms about locations happened. The pain of rebuilding flesh was wearing me down.

I felt him place me down on my chest in the craft.

" I'm so sorry darling. I was... there were some people needing... and " he was stumbling over his words and trying so hard to keep it together.

" it's fine. It's fine" I muttered trying to prop myself up onto my elbows.

" did you build in a self resurrect?" He asked softly. I glanced at the medical panel as his heart was racing. Pure adrenaline running through him.

" something like that" I replied.

" I need to get back out there, will you be okay? Do you have a spare suit?"

" I do, be careful out there" I called at him. He stalled for a moment trying to shake out his emotion with pacing.

" I love you... bastion make sure she is safe" he ordered, glancing at me, I offered a smile as I hid my pain.

" she will be safe" replied bastion.

" I love you " said Jack as he darted out the doors.

Bastion walked over to me and Ganymede worriedly chirped. Using what strength I had I sat up.

I ran a scan over my body, the skin was mostly repaired, stepping behind the curtain and changing my basic suit.

The other one I just removed had burn marks and missing pieces along the spine, as well as blood and some flesh. He was just trying to get me to help others, I hope his guilt doesn't get to him, after-all he is the one constantly helping me not blame myself.

" coming back with d . Va! " said Lucio abruptly.

I looked over her body scan, minor injuries, why wasn't his tech working?

" my tech needs more work. I'm coming" he added. What the hell?

I rushed over to them when they entered. Her readings were fairly normal.

" so I'm not seeing much on your monitor, but I'm not denying your pain, so if you could indicate where..." I asked gently.

" he's just being a worrier. I'm fine! Had to bail from my Mek though, was going to call another one but mr. Worry wart over here wanted me to come back" teased Hana.

Lucio frowned.

" hey! If I cannot make sure that I can heal and fight then I'm useless to you and basically just a target- oh! Not like you Angela! You uh. You-"

I arched my eyebrow as he desperately tried to backtrack. I grew rather used to being a liability out in the field, it's why I learned how to fight. But I would never allow any weapon to be added to my caduceus, and why I have a blaster pistol.

" don't worry about it" i replied waving my hand dismissively as I double checked Hana's stats.

" almost clear!" Said Reinhardt over the comms interrupting Lucio's near attempt at another stream of apologies.

We sat back waiting for more news, just more chattering back and forth. While destructive, this new group of attackers didn't seem to have a good handle on what they wanted to accomplish. I looked at Lucio's weaponized healing device, it seems some simple components had dislodged.

" how many uh- what's it called. " I started to say then pushed my hands forward making a boom type noise.

" I probably over used it huh?" He asked. I nodded and looked at it again. I don't mind people being pushed away it's a more non-violent approach for sure unless near a cliff or large hole in the ground. Jack returned with Hanzo and Genji.

Jack anxiously stood by the door while Ana, Fareeha and Jesse made their way back with the shield of Reinhardt. Torbjorn running ahead huffing and yelling about something.

The scuffle and yelling of their voices was over powering.

" I feel like we were chasing children with battle axes " grumbled Torbjorn as he settled into his seat but his eyes caught Lucio's weapon sitting on the table partially unassembled.

" what happened here?" He gruffly asked.

" I over used it " said Lucio.

" yeh ignored the cool-down?! Peh!" Growled Torbjorn.

The craft began flying in the sky, soon we would be home with our son and I would need to explain things to jack...

"Hey ange, ya feeling okay?" Asked Jesse. His brown eyes full of concern.

" huh? Yeah" I responded nonchalantly to my cowboy friend. I looked to Hanzo and he returned a gaze.

Walking over to him to check all vitals, better than before when I revived him. It's working, it's actually working.

The flight took no time at all but the worry grew in my belly. Bile rising into my throat, jack was busy with post mission work with Ana as she flew they spoke to Winston. You could hear John in the background asking all sorts of questions while Winston tried telling him to play.

Once we landed our excitable son ran up to meet us. Jack scooped him up as I kissed his soft little cheeks.

" I was... I was scared" he whined.

" we know baby" I soothed.

" we are fine son, nothing to be scared about" comforted Jack, but you could hear the stress in his voice.

" did Winston have anything fun for you to do? " I asked

" yeah! He helped me build a castle!" Said John with huge happy eyes.

" hey buddy, I need to talk to your mom, would you mind playing with Winston for a few minutes?" Asked jack.

" I don't mind! " replied John as jack set him down on the ground again. Winston smiled at us and took John's hand. I followed jack to our room, his pace was fast and I struggled to keep up with his long strides.

As the door closed I let out a breath.

" jack I... I don't know to explain but " I exhaled heavily.

He removed his mask and looked at me with concern. Then he held me tightly. His body shaking.

" angel... I thought... I couldn't handle if anything happened to you. I just... I couldn't handle it. You are-" he paused his breath warming my neck as he shook.

" I'm okay darling, I'm alive"

" I couldn't... I had all these thoughts running through me! How would I tell John if anything happened to you?! How would I tell anyone it would have been my fault! My fault that you would be kill-"

I broke his words with a kiss. Trying to stall and trying to calm him. He returned it hands stroking my face. Warmth pulsed through me as he grunted in pleasure.

A kiss that rocked my very core, a kiss that flooded me with such emotion, as if waking from a deep sleep. He scooped me up as my legs wrapped around his waist.

" I love you" he gasped out taking a breath. His hand stroked my back and I let out a slight hissing noise.

" is your back okay? " he asked.

" my back? Oh yeah... yeah that's fine but there's uh a reason" his head pressed against mine as he walked us over to the bed. Gently placing me onto it and joining. Now or never...

" so... I started uh. Injecting myself with nanotech"

" well aren't we all injected with it?"

" yes but... small doses. I've been injecting myself with larger doses. Monthly. sometimes daily... and it works. It like. Improves everything and heals everything faster than just the doses I injected you all with"

" for how long?"

I buried my face in my hands then slowly pulled my face away.

" almost six years" I whispered.

Jacks brow furrowed.

" so... our son has a lot of that in his system, as well as your super soldier serum and... I messed up jack. I worked on the revive, I didn't know I was pregnant. But whatever happened to Reyes... well. There's a slight possibility that it could be dormant in him but I don't know"

Jack sighed and took my hand.

" will it hurt him? Or you?" He said after clearing his throat. He looked almost lost in thought, or at a loss for words.

" it shouldn't. Since he was born with it it could only affect him with serious illness or injury... because it mutates. But since he is full of nanotech it will fight it regardless but I don't know" I spoke with certainty. There would need to be studies done but in theory it was pretty accurate.

" while I am upset that you have been experimenting on yourself, especially when working under overwatch originally. I'm not actually mad, but it looks like you will have some work to do. But for now we can just relax because my love" he paused cupping my face in his hands. And pressed his lips to my forehead.

" you are stubborn, and the smartest person I know, I know you will figure this out, but it does change my plans a bit"

His eyes flicked to my lips and I pressed my lips to his. His gentle caress on my shoulders relaxing me and his kisses relaxing ever shred of anxiety I had.

When he pulled away he had a sweet smile etched on the corners of his mouth, his eyes squinting in happiness.

" thank you " I softly said.

" anytime, now shall we go get our son before he gets a peanut butter addiction?"

Shaking my head at my lover I smiled.

" that would be wonderful" I said then nuzzled into his neck.

" but I suppose he can wait a few minutes" he lightly teased, the warmth of his neck against my face.

" I'm sorry" I managed to utter.

" angel, I've done worse. I'm not judging you" he replied.

" and you are alive. And that's all that matters... that's all that has ever mattered "

I don't exactly know what that means. I know his vigilante work was very far from his normal moral views on going after criminals, but I don't know the exact measures he went too.

" medication time then?" I asked softly. He grunted in approval as I quickly injected him before returning to his lap for a kiss before taking off to get John.

He returned his mask to his face and took my arm into his as we walked to get our son.

Laughter ringing out from the room.

Apparently Lena had joined in on the castle building, blocks and toys strewn around as Winston pretended to attack the castle. Lena and John firing soft darts at Winston as he playfully roared.

" dad! Mom! Help defend it!" Squeaked John.

The next hour or so was defending the castle from the great " dragon ". Until John tired himself out and needed a nap. Jack scooped him up and took him to his room as I went to my lab.

The processes calming me but bringing worry into my throat.

My stomach feeling uneasy as I tested the hypothesis on some organic matter. Within minutes of " injury" the tissue began to disappear, turning into an unstable matter before restoring itself, then becoming unstable again. Reyes was a monster... one I brought back and created into an actual monster. Exhaling sharply I added more nanotech to the organic test subject and it began to heal, then parts would become unstable again. So now in theory... if anything at all was to happen to John he could potentially... no. He would become a wraith like creature.

Pacing around the lab, there has to be a way to wipe out that. To basically humanize John. Then I could restart with all the other tech. Hastily returning to my notes I began writing out theory after theory.

I really need to calm down and focus. Is what could happen dangerous ? Not really. Would it affect quality of life? Possibly.

A loud knock startled me as I knocked a notebook off the counter.

Looking up I saw Winston standing in the doorway, I motioned for him to enter.

" need help?" He asked.

" uh... I can handle it"

He picked up my notebook and placed it on the counter, his eyes wandering over the open page.

" is this about Reyes? " he asked gently.

" not exactly"

" well from what I gather you need a break, or to look at it from another angle"

" Winston... in theory, if someone happened to be exposed to a possible destabilization chemical-"

" ah okay I see what you are working on, have you looked at it this way?" He asked as he pulled out a page of my notebook and scrawling out a different equation.

I shoved my face into my hands and grunted.

" you are brilliant " I exclaimed after a moment, turning back to my work I began writing out the basics of what I could do.

" do you think this could also change Reyes ?" Asked Winston.

" yes, we could... we could use this against him" I said softly not wanting to contemplate using a healing tech to be able to destroy someone, especially someone we knew no matter how evil.

" we need to have something ready for when the time comes..." Winston said.

" everyone would agree, if you made something unable to die, we need to make sure if he cannot be contained that he can be shut down" he added hastily.

I nodded. The cure for my son would also be humanization, humans are weak, they can get sick they can be hurt they can die. My nanotech was working on preventing this, I never want someone to die due to war again or anything for that matter. Super soldiers were an absolute wonder to me when I joined, but so many flaws in the chemicals caused me to tweak everything to go above the normal mold. So much red tape, so many meetings and findings.

Knocking echoed in the room as we peered at the door. John carefully balanced on Jack's shoulders.

I motioned for them to enter.

" mooooom you've been gone for forever again" whined John.

" have I? It's only been-" then I looked at the clock. Scheisse.

" you are right it has been a long time darling" I cooed.

John's pout turned into a smile

" what are you working on?" He asked looking around curiously.

" some stuff to make people feel better" I replied noticing Jack's visor pointed in the direction of my notes.

" we should probably let your mother work kiddo" said Jack.

" oh I can take it from here" said Winston with a grin.

" but we-"

" you can always work on it more tomorrow, tonight you should rest Angela" said Winston.

I nodded, jotting down a few more notes and held out my hand for John.

He gripped jacks in one and mine in he other.

" mommy, dad said we can watch a movie!" Chirped John.

" oh really? What movie ?"

" I don't know... " he replied not seeming to actually not care but just be happy about it.

Lucio and Hana were racing through the halls almost running into us.

" heeeeey! Sorry about that!" Called out Lucio as he pulled Hana into a tackling hug, arms wrapped around her as he stood behind her.

" not a problem" I said as jack just shook his head.

They looked so sweet together and comfortable. John began tugging on my arm and we returned to our room. I curled into a pile of pillows and watched as John and jack went through the movie choices. Jacks seriousness about the situation was endearing.

" no definitely not that one" said jack as her scrolled through the list.

" we should have some of the classics on here, since well... you know lena and Winston" i chipped in.

" oh!" Exclaimed jack as he went down to some Disney films and looking annoyed at himself momentarily.

" can they watch with us?" Asked John.

I looked at jack and shrugged.

" if they want too" said jack " but we would have to watch it in the main area"

" okay!" Said John. Jack put on his mask and helped me to my feet. I wanted to be able to snuggle with my little family but at the same time having people around is good for John after all those years.

Happily jumping in front of us John was giggling excitedly and ran over to Lena and Jesse.

" do you want to watch a movie?" He asked them. Lena's face stretched into a huge grin.

" of course! What're we watchin' ? " she chirped.

" don't know!" Said John. Lena glanced up at me with a quizzical look.

" can I help?" She asked.

" of course " i replied as I curled into my spot on the couch.

Lena began flipping through the lists of movies and John stared at the covers asking various questions regarding a few before settling on Mulan, because John saw a sword on the cover and apparently he likes swords.

Jack and John joined me on the couch, Curling under jacks strong arm. John was sitting on Jack's lap and leaning against me.

About halfway through Hana and Lucio joined.

" I love this movie" squeaked Hana.

John was intrigued by the entire thing, play fighting with Lucio and Lena, asking questions.

This could work, everything will work out, just figure it all out. Jack pulled me closer as John had temporarily left us to jump around with Lena during the huge battle. My head curled into his neck, legs strewn over his lap, I want to remove his mask so bad. But it's not my choice it's his.

John came rushing over and plopped onto us , our arms entangling him into a cuddle.

As the movie ended Hana let out a loud sigh.

" didn't they get married or something?" She asked " I swear they got married"

" married?" Questioned John.

Ana popped out of the kitchen and teased John " you know what marriage is" she laughed.

" it's what my mom and dad are?" Said John.

Hana let out a laugh.

" they aren't married" she giggled for a moment then corrected herself when Lucio nudged her.

" I mean..." she tried to backtrack.

" oi Jesse and I have been together for a long time and we aren't married. But it seems like it!" Lena spoke quickly trying to divert.

" sure feels like it " added Jesse.

" but my mom and dad-" started John

" don't need marriage to prove how much they love each other little one" said Ana knowingly. Jacks posture was rigid at the moment John almost let out the secret.

" but" started John.

" darling I think it's bedtime" i stated.

" but moooom" he whined, his baby blue eyes looking so hopeful to get a few more minutes.

" come on kid" said jack as he scooped up John.

" say goodnight darling " I gently added.

He grunted and whined almost in tears but Lena ruffled his hair and wished him a goodnight causing a smile to creep onto his face.

He said goodnight and we walked him to his room. After a struggle to get him to lay down and drift into sleep, jack was gently pulling me out of the room to our own.

He removed his mask and a sad look was etched behind his eyes as he gently kissed my forehead.

" sorry about that mein love" i whispered.

" it's fine" he replied stoically.

Jacks pov.

I should have asked her years upon years ago. The conversation brought up so many memories and guilt. My darling angel looking at me with concern. I don't need to bring all this up for her. I cannot face the team yet, I cannot let them know who I am, I'm not ready and it's taking a toll on her. She already has so much to worry about...

" jack..." her soft tired voice cooed, I kissed her delicate lips, she returned the kiss, her arms curling around my back. I trace her jawline and pull away to look at her, her cheeks flushed and tired eyes glimmering.

" we should probably shower" she mumbled with a yawn as she headed for the bathroom, leaving a trail of clothes on her way. Her back was completely restored, not a scar or a mark, just perfect flesh attached to the most beautiful body.

The amount of scars etched across my body reminders of the explosion. I shudder as she wraps herself around me kissing my chest. The warm water sliding down us, her hair sticking to me.

The ritual of washing each other's hair begins. I always teased she had the easier job. Her light gasp breaking me from my thoughts.

" you didn't tell me about this one" she said tracing another scar on my back.

" just a scratch ange, happened today? " I questioned myself, who knows when it happened.

She mumbled under her breath in angry German.

I turned to hold her to my chest for a moment, her body melting into me as she lightly sighed.

I turned the water off then scooped her up, her legs gripping my waist, with her arms reaching out for towels as I carried her to bed.

" ach! Jack no! " she protested as I stooped to lower her onto the bed, her arms throwing a towel down. A playful glimmer in her tired eyes.

Nipping at the soft skin on her neck as she wiggled then softly moaned.

" darling " she whispered into my ear, causing a shiver down my spine.

Her lips pressed against my cheek, then she just flopped against the pillows.

Her eyes kept fluttering shut and slightly opening, as I stroked the small of her back. I would have married her. When ? When...I thought about it often, thinking we were invincible until she would be deployed separately from me, those were the times I wanted to get away the most, to take her away to my parents house, propose to her under the night sky. Ugh, this is too much. Every time her voice would drift over the communicators my heart would pound, her silence was worse. I've thought of this too much since the explosion. Regretting so many thing but above all regretting not retiring, not taking her with me.

" Jack?" She whispered, her blue eyes searching my face.

" Jack" her voice rose in volume.

" mmm?"

" are you alright ?"

I leaned over kissing her soft skin.

" I'm fine"

She yawned and curled into my neck again, her fingers tracing my chest.

She's been through too much. Her bleeding heart and need to save everyone keeps putting her into more and more danger. Her brilliant mind the target of some attacks. The fact she wouldn't tell me about her experiments, her fears holding her back. But her silence causing more misunderstandings, she's so wrapped up in judging herself.

" I love you" she breathed out.

" I love you too angel" I replied as I stroked her back.

Too much. And I had put her through the majority of it, kissing her forehead again, as a smile crept onto her face.

Somehow I need to make it up to her, I used to be good at this stuff, but the low profile we need to keep again would make this hard.

" your heart rate is elevated " she yawned softly as she lifted her head.

Her small frame curled against me again. Glancing over at the monitor of John, and back to the beautiful woman in my arms... I thought I lost her, I thought I lost our child. There might not have been a child, she would have been better off without me. But seeing her at my parents brought it all back, my plans that would never work out.

I began handling things differently, dispensing my own justice, it was criminal but it felt good, it helped get out all that rage. Erasing the scum off the streets without all the restrictions, meetings and briefings...

her warm breath on my neck as she shifted breaking my chain of thoughts. This should kick in soon, I'm a realist. But part of me wants to give her the fantasy she deserves. To finally show her how much she means to me. My mother gave her the ring and my horribly written note, but that's not how I want... fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. There are important things to deal with first. Glancing over at Angela and admiring her, gently stroking her hair as a soft pleased sigh escaped her lips. Looking over at the monitor as our son slept peacefully, I cannot let anything happen to them. Which means, we need to step up our search for Reyes. I almost lost her today with her another distraction, our small group trying to take place of our old group. It's not the same, it's never the same. Nothing will ever be the same and the woman that I love almost died today, can she die? Is everything she has worked on fully functional? What if she was caught in an explosion like me. What if...

" jack..." she softly breathed.

" yes love?"

She turned and wrapped her limbs over me. Nestling her head on my chest but leaning up to kiss my lips before sighing and clinging to me. Holding her securely, inhaling her faint sugary scent and kissing her hair.

" you are the best thing that happened to me" I mumbled audibly.

" du bist mein Bester" ( you are my best). She cooed.

Ah... my poor exhausted angel, she usually only reverts to German when she's unable to focus.

"und Sie sind meine besten" ( and you are my best ) I replied.

Unfortunately for her my German when tired wasn't the best. I want to take her and John to my house. Well my parents house. I want them to meet him, I want everything to be wonderful. But it's just a fantasy, the same fantasy that has kept me going all these years.

 **A/N: I am so sorry for how long it took me to put out a new chapter, i'm not thrilled with it...and for that i'm so very sorry. So many thanks to those who are still reading this, to all the new follows and likes, it really means so much to me. I constantly sound like a broken record but things haven't been so great on my end, so i've been trying to play a lot of overwatch to kinda ease some of that, and with all these events in a row... gosh. Anyways! much love to everyone, thank you for being here.**

 **(I hope this posts with the proper format because the first time i tried it made a text wall! sorry about that!)**


	44. Chapter 44

**A/N: Just a head's up, there's some smut in this chapter! probably NSFW. You have been warned!**

" Gabriel Reyes. You have missed your appointment for the forth time" I said frustrated. He turned around glaring at me.

" so?" He snarled.

" so... it takes up time. I have the slot available and you miss it and I wait-"

" Ha! Slot available. Real nice doc. Real nice." He growls, his eyes piercing me like daggers.

People are turning to listen, and I feel my cheeks flush with embarrassment and anger.

" fine. If you are going to miss this one as well, then forget it" I retorted. He was a mess. He had been a mess for months now and my pregnancy hormones were kicking in.

He grabbed my arm and I flinched, this wasn't the first time he grabbed me like this.

" fine. Doc. " he muttered. Following me to the exam room.

I performed the basic routine, before starting small talk. I needed this foolish power struggle to end between the two of them. It was completely out of hand, bickering like kids and jack tried to remain civil but Reyes knew every single button to push.

" I heard you got injured on your last mission... why didn't you come see me?"

" you tell me. " he replied coldly.

" that's why I'm asking, I know things have been tough and I tried contacting you but you have been ignoring me and my appointments and I-"

" you what? Your fucking getting in the way of your experiments. How are your monsters coming along doc? What new experiments have you come up with now? Or are you too busy fucking around with jack that you simply forget your own obligations ?"

I turned to him, I know I was about to cry, scheisse this baby was causing me to be irrational.

" I at least don't act like a child" I replied angrily. With that I felt his hand go around my neck../Tightening.

" you are the child, little bird. You never think. You cannot see what is in front of you... and you have no restrictions" he snarled, as I choked for air. Tears coming out of the sides of my eyes in pain. " you are still the same insecure, wanna be moral, but avoid every single ethics code frightened child that you have always been. Somehow put into power "

I tried pulling at his hands. But my eyes started seeing stars. I grabbed onto his arms. Trying to hold my own body up to prevent him from strangling me.

" golden boy lets you have free range on your creations because you bat your little eyelashes and suck him dry"

I started kicking at him.

"You can't fix everything doc..." he sneered. " god. It would be so easy to snap your little neck" as he said that his face lit up slightly. A wicked smile forming, his grip slightly loosened as he turned my face to get a better look.

Why the hell was he doing this. I tried kicking him

" you'll never learn little bird" he laughed as he dropped me. My ankles collapsed at the shock of hitting the ground. This wasn't the first time he did this, ever since jack got promoted he had been more violent in general. But he never held my neck for that long, usually it was just a grab.

I took some short breaths and coughed.

" I won't learn what?" I gasped out.

" someday you won't always have someone to protect you"

He just laughed and walked out the door. I quickly checked my neck for any immediate signs of bruising, nothing yet thankfully. I probably wouldn't be seeing jack tonight anyways. I should report him, but... my stomach lurched and I threw up.

If I tell jack now it will only make matters worse on the both of us. Luckily the new nanotech I had been trying for quite some time was working well, because when the deep bruises showed up they started to heal immediately.

I went to my lab and kicked out my team. I didn't want to deal with them and it was already getting late, so they should be heading home anyways. I leaned my head into my hands while studying the revive process for the billionth time. There was so much up in the air about it. First I wasn't really supposed to be working on it, and secondly I couldn't use my team at all. There would be some instability in my super soldiers from what I had looked into. Otherwise it should work...But injecting the nanotechnology into my bloodstream in higher doses for the past few months had shown more progress. But being pregnant made me stop, unfortunately after the fact. Arguing outside my door caused me to snap from that thought process.

Reyes' voice caused my throat to tighten and my heart rate to quicken. Fuck him. What the hell does he want now?

" YOU DON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT THE SAFETY OF MY TEAM" boomed Reyes. " we need the tech too not just your perfect overwatch soldiers jacky boy"

I rushed to the closest lab trash and began vomiting up all the emotion, it was just dry heaves. Fuck. Eating should be on my list of things to do.

"You can't just walk in there when she is-" stated Jack.

" YOU DO IT ALL THE TIME" shouted Reyes as I felt the gust from the door being flung open as I walked to the sink and washed my hands.

"Gentlemen, is there something I can help you with?" I attempt at relieving tension.

"We need your gear for blackwatch as well" spat Reyes.

" we have been over this, it won't work " I replied flatly.

" that's not what the paper work says so far"

I bit my lip and frowned.

" first of all those are classified documents that you do not have clearance for" stated jack.

" that's never stopped you" snarled Reyes.

" yes it has" said jack, his posture getting more defensive.

" oh please. She tells you everything regardless! Just breaking protocols left and right. Behold the golden team of overwatch!" Boomed Reyes voice.

His chest heaving with anger.

" if we cannot be civil about-" I started but Reyes cut me off

" be civil?! You are the one not protecting all of us! Just protecting one branch isn't protecting all of us. "

" it's not ready yet. Not even jacks team has been checked with it yet, which should have been in my files that you clearly have read but not completely "

" can you shut this bitch up?! Or is this what you like about her? " Reyes voice was cutting through me.

" Reyes get the hell out of here now" shouted Jack.

" you can't order me around"

" I can"

Reyes was fuming, a vein throbbed in his temple as they both glared intently at each other.

" you know what. Fuck you, fuck both of you. "

" that's enough. Get out before I have to write you up" argued Jack.

Scheisse. This is getting out of control...

" I have work to do, so if you both could just..." I managed to utter.

They both turned to me for a moment. Jack looked slightly defeated and I just don't have to energy to handle this right now.

" oh! You could write me up?! What about you?!" Argued Reyes. They both could get into deep water with all this arguing. He must have realized this because he turned back to me.

" get back to your creations little bird, you are going to need them" grumbled Reyes with a slight laugh that shook through me.

 **(A/N: In case my writing wasn't clear enough that was a memory in a dream)**

Or maybe it was Jack shaking me awake. Nightmares? Really?

" angel" he softly said stroking my cheek.

" sorry" I said tucking my head under his chin and inhaling his scent. Bringing myself back to reality. I should have reported him, I should have told someone. I fucked up.

" you okay?" He mumbled into my hair. Tilting my head up I gently pressed my lips to his.

" I'll be fine" I whispered in between kisses. His arms held me tightly as he kissed my forehead.

" do you want to talk about it?"

" not really... but I probably should" I breathed out.

" go for it"

" it's about... Reyes"

He sharply inhaled, his grip tightened on me.

" I don't need to talk about it" I hastily said.

" I want to know" he gruffly replied.

As I began to explain I could hear his anxiety and anger begin to take over. He was furious, the look of betrayal washed over his face a few times. I couldn't bear to look up as I continued.

" you know that would have been grounds for him being-"

" Jack" I interrupted.

He grunted and I laced my fingers into his.

" What did we say about things in the past?"

He grunted again and rolled onto his back, extending his arm for me to curl against him.

" so you dealt with all of that?"

" you had it worse" I replied.

" how often did he do that?"

" I don't remember... I was busy... stressed. He would mostly just yell. He wasn't himself, it was almost like something else had come over him"

" don't make excuses for him, it was always there. Slowly coming to the surface before-" he paused, glancing up at his face, the absolute devastation etched into his eyes. The scars he wore a reminder of how it all 'ended'.

" the fact is. He's a key piece of talon and he does need to be taken down. Who knows how much he knows and what he will do to you... I mean to the world. Overwatch was shut down for a reason, and that reason is heavily on me. And my inability to contain him and to end his power trip. I failed... "

His breathing was getting strained.

" darling... we all failed it wasn't you. We all kept hoping something would change"

" but I was in charge Angela, don't you see that I'm at fault here?!" His voice was cutting through the air. Weighing us down heavily.

" Jack"

" it was all my fault, and it's alright for you to say it, I need to hear you say it"

The pounding of blood pumping through my veins as I tried to think of a rational response.

" you weren't at fault, stop trying to take all of the blame my darling. "

Pausing to look up at him, propping myself onto my elbows.

Then the guilt hit. I revived him.

" I need you to tell me it was my fault "

" I can't do that because it's not true... "

" I've been doing horrible things Angela. Horrible things that I don't want to face but I know it was my doing. "

" darling " I cooed as I pulled myself onto his chest and nuzzled his neck.

" I love you , you cannot change what happened. But trust me, he would have done whatever even if he wasn't apart of overwatch or blackwatch anymore. "

" but blackwatch was supposed to help him"

" and it did, but he didn't change like we all hoped. It wasn't your fault, we all failed him. If I had said something maybe it wouldn't have happened. But maybe it would have "

Jack's hands were rubbing his temples.

"It's all okay my love it's really all okay, we can handle this okay?"

" can we? He's only gaining more leverage "

" and I will figure out how to stop him. I'm working on it, so don't worry too much, just focus on clearing your mind of the past and focus on what is happening now, we've fought through so much before, we can do this "

His arms pulled me against him, I could hear his heartbeat begin to calm. His grip tightening, our bodies pressed together, trying to meld into one.

" thank you" he whispered into my ear.

" bitte schön" ( you are welcome )

" ich liebe dich" ( I love you) came his clunky but endearing German.

"ich liebe dich mehr" ( I love you more) I replied.

His body shifted as he flipped my onto my back, as he hovered above, gently nibbling on my lip before planting a sweet kiss on my lips.

His hips grinding into mine, causing a moan to escape my lips. He smiled before nipping at my neck. My legs instinctively moving to pull him in closer. Last night was passionate. But morning sex was rare now because of our son waking us up through the monitor.

Speaking of which... the monitor went off. Jack grunted and rolled off. The monitor alerting us of his sleep changing. He would soon be awake and he hated waking up alone.

" I guess I'll take care of him today while you work?" He said as he scratched the back of his neck.

" I suppose" I responded quickly. Despite all the thoughts swirling in my head. I need to figure everything out, run a few more checks, probably should ask Winston to help. Rolling onto my stomach as I watched him dress, his sculpted chest taunting me. He turned and gave me a smug grin.

" I'll bring you coffee" he said as he leaned down to give me a kiss before putting on his mask and leaving. The pillows called me back into them, but I know I'm just avoiding what I need to do. I want to spend the day with them, but this is important so that we can spend more days together happy instead of in fear. Coming clean to jack about everything did provide a huge amount off my shoulders, but now I'm focusing on Reyes. A name that we try to avoid mentioning, the ultimate betrayal. He ruined everything, took me away from the closest thing I had to family, made me believe my boyfriend was dead, took away my son, my life... now all being threatened again.

Sliding into a dress as I fixed my hair and makeup the guilt began again, my stomach aching. But it wasn't just him, did Amelie chose to join talon of her own free will? Could it have also happened to Reyes? ... not possible. Reyes had always been a bit over aggressive, jealous and power hungry. But he was jacks friend... the door opened and in came jack and John.

" not at the lab yet?" Teased jack as he held a mug in his hands. John flung his arms around my legs.

" mommy!" He squeaked.

" good morning darling!" I wrapped my arms around him, memorizing the moment.

" daddy says you have to do stuff today?" He whined into my hair. Pulling away from my kids strong grip to looked at him.

" I do, but I promise we will have time together later"

His face twisted into a smile. Standing back up to grab my coffee and a kiss before making my way to the lab.

After a few minutes of staring at my notes from the day before, my phone began to buzz.

"Do you need any help?" Was The message from Winston.

" I could use some assistance " I replied before looking back down and jotting a few checks down.

I could hear his heavy steps coming towards the lab and Spun in my chair sipping my delicious coffee. Still made to perfection, oh how I missed this.

" hello Angela!" Came Winston's happy tone.

" hello Winston! Thank you for joining me... I think I have something to prep for testing, it will take a few days before we can even attempt the actual experiment however..."

Winston's expression of joy caught me off guard.

" is there something..."

" remember years back when we tried the first time on the bugs?"

" yes... but I don't see-"

" I still have them! I didn't want to just set them free and they wouldn't die so I just... kept them around"

For a moment a wave of relief washed over me. This would speed up everything I had planned, but I hate speeding up things because it gives me less mental prep time.

" is something wrong?" Asked Winston, his brow creasing with concern.

" it's perfect , thank you! Where are they?" I forced out a smile with the statement.

" probably in the freezer. Or in the safe... wait. Maybe in the cupboard.."

" wait Winston! Why would they be in the cupboard ?!"

I know he's forgetful, but storing bugs in food storage would be careless.

" oh uh. It's just-"

" ah yes, going to put things away and getting distracted by a certain food?" I arched a brow and smirked at my friend.

He looked down and fiddled with his glasses.

" it's fine Winston! Just go find the jars and I'll get working on actually making this so that we have something to test with"

" oh very well" he replied hastily as he darted off in search.

The next few hours of mixing and prepping for the tests had me shaken.

" Angela, what is the worst that could happen?" Asked Winston breaking my downward spiral.

" there's so much more to this " I snorted and re-tied my hair up.

" I can do it for you if you want?"

" i can do it" I responded as I carefully opened the jar and slid the needle into a bug. Such a small needle such a small dose. It shuddered and began shaking almost immediately.

" this isn't..." pinching the bridge of my nose and growling.

" it's just an experiment" said Winston trying to reassure me.

" it's not just an experiment!" I hissed. Immediately regretting my emotions getting the best of me.

" I'm sorry it's.."

" it's alright, if anyone can figure this out it's you..." comforted Winston patting my shoulder.

The bug did a final shake before dying.

" however. This means we can destroy those who are affected by the faulty resurrect " mused Winston.

My blood felt on fire.

" oh good! So we can just use this to destroy not to heal"

" Angela! That is not at all what I intended for-"

" yes. Yes it is, we would rather put the threat to death than to try and fix things! That's all this has been about isn't is?"

" Angela! They are threatening lives. They are killing thousands!"

" but my son isn't! He didn't ask for this! He didn't ask for any of this neither did-" I stopped myself, taking a breathe.

" Angela. Take a minute, calm down. We have others to test on and we have other ideas. Look at all these vials you have created. We can do this!"

My legs started to move without my mind attached. Pushing open the door and hightailing it to the roof. The air hitting my face, waking me up.

Taking in a few shaky breathes as I climbed. I could hear happy little voices from below.

Pausing to light a cigarette, the exhale providing relief. I'm a doctor, finding vices left and right. I can face this. But I don't want too.

My phone buzzed.

" what's wrong?" From jack.

Exhaling I peered down at the ledge where Lena, Jesse, John and Jack were playing along with Ana and Fareeha. Their happy faces and laughter echoing as Hana and Lucio joined in.

Leaning back against the floor of the roof and responding.

" it works for one purpose. But not for the other"

I hit send and closed my eyes, blinking back tears. I'm stronger than this, I'm smarter than this.

Things started clicking into place, jotting down a few notes when my phone buzzed again.

" I'm sure you will figure it out, want to join us? I know how great you are at outdoor activities"

That jerk!

" you know I'm the worst " I replied.

"That's why I asked !" He responded quickly.

Shaking my head and finishing the last drag. I have to get back to the lab, try something else and apologize to Winston.

" I have work to do"

" I know" he replied.

As I made my way back, carefully avoiding being spotted by my son, if he spotted me I would just want to spend the day with him.

Winston was hunched over the table looking at the notes.

" Angela I-"

" Winston, I must first apologize to you, I'm sorry I got so upset" I interrupted. He just smiled and looked back down at the notes, highlighting what he thought went wrong while I explained what I feel went wrong.

After a few hours we managed to synthesize another batch of tests. Our bug supply wouldn't be enough to test all of them.

" I still have the files on how to build the faulty one" said Winston cautiously.

" oh I couldn't forget if I tried" my voice cracked.

" Ich wünschte, ich könnte vergessen" ( I wish I could forget)

" what's that?"

" nothing " I mutter staring back at the jars.

"Well if you recreate it, obviously it will be destroyed again,just need it long enough to create some new test subjects"

" I know, best get Torbjorn to start making a new staff"

" you've got it, ready to give the next batch a try?" Asked Winston.

I glanced at the clock for once in my life.

" scheisse! Do you mind if I say goodnight to John first?"

" is that really a question?" Asked Winston.

" right, thank you! Go eat or something. I'll be back" I replied. Winston nodded, while I checked my phone and walked towards John's room.

" he's almost asleep but come in" came a text from jack.

What...

Carefully opening the door I walked over to my loves. John was mostly asleep but yawned his eyes open a bit.

" mom?" He yawned.

" yes my love?"

" I missed. I missed you "

" I missed you too darling" trying to keep my voice at an even tone, not emotional despite every feeling running through me. Guilt mostly but I'm here now holding my son.

John sighed softly as his little eyes closed tucked between us. Jack looked perplexed.

" goodnight John" whispered jack as he stood up, holding out his hand for me.

" goodnight little one" I softly said as I accepted jacks hand. He put back on his mask and we exited the room quietly closing the door behind us.

" angel, are you done for the evening?" He asked.

" not yet, we want to try another one before calling it a day" i stifled a yawn and embraced him. His arms cradling me.

" alright, the sooner you finish the sooner we can relax" said Jack.

" I love you "

" I love you too, now go" he said giving me a squeeze.

Walking back to the lab was a lonely feeling, I could hear Torbjorn and Reinhardt arguing about chess, the sounds of video games being played and Hana and Lucio happily bickering.

Winston was fiddling around with a jar of peanut butter and staring at the computer screens.

" ah! Everything is ready to go, I was just waiting for you" said Winston happily.

I offered a small smile, I just want time with my family. But I know that's impossible without dealing with this.

Going through the motions I went through earlier in the day, holding my breath while the insect shook a little.

Running a few tests over it. The stability seemed to be working, no mist anymore.

" did we do it? " asked Winston excitedly.

" seems to be working" I replied a slight infliction of joy coming through.

The bug resumed normal activities, crawling around.

" we will probably need to run this on something bigger or... something uh menschlichere!" ( more human)

" huh?"

" ah..." I paused thinking trying to find the proper words.

" another form closer to human matter? " I responded.

" so we set up the cameras and monitor this?" Asked Winston.

" of course " I said as we started setting up the gear to record.

After what felt like hours I was finally heading back to our room. Pushing open the door to find Jack already curled in bed mostly asleep with something playing on the tv, the volume barely above a whisper.

Closing the door slowly I heard him grunt.

" darling" he murmured as I kicked off my heels and snuggled into the bed.

" yes?"

" how did it go?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around me.

" second one went better, we are monitoring it for the next twenty four hours but hopefully it will be much bitte.. errr better. " I corrected myself.

" that's wonderful my love, I knew you could do it" he whispered lovingly as he kissed me.

" ah! No compliments yet, the first one was a disaster"

" but you always can figure it out" he nudged me with his nose, placing kisses on my cheek.

" but what-"

His lips quieted me, pulling me closer to him as I felt my entire body shake with with pleasure.

He pulled away and pressed his forehead against mine.

" I didn't mean to cut you off"

" in this case it's fine" I breathy said going back for another kiss, rolling onto his back and pulling me onto his body.

" angel, I do want to hear what you had to say" he said pulling away from me.

" it's nothing it's just" I paused sighing.

" it worked for one purpose and one alone. This second one may work for the other intended purpose"

He frowned slightly, his eyes searching my face.

" well that's good then?"

" I don't know what it means for John..."

" well... we know it only mutates but to what degree?"

I traced a finger down his neck, I want to focus on pleasure not this. Not what I've been working on all day. Then again we would usually avoid the tougher issues of the job with sex, cuddling and drinking.

" it cannot rebuild the flesh properly once injured. It can cause Nekrose of the flesh. " ( necrosis).

Jack looked at me

" uhm. Tissue death, it can cause the flesh to decay upon injury as opposed to repair"

" so that could eventually happen to John?"

" could, if he would get injured, once the mutation starts. Which, I'm not certain if it has yet"

Jack let out a breath and stroked my face with his hand.

" you can figure this out though, I know you can"

He has too much faith in me. I used to be more confident but that's when I had to constantly appear confident when pitching it to the committee. Now I am allowed to let the uncertainty show.

I want a drink.

" I'm trying"

" well if one kind was successful then you are going above trying"

" and we have to make the old caduceus, so Torbjorn is working on the shell and I'll be making the inner workings"

" it will be thoroughly labeled ?"

" yes, and kept away from the others completely"

He nodded and relaxed a bit.

" I'm going to get a drink, you want anything?" I asked.

" have you eaten at all today?"

" energy bars, I'm good"

He made a face and then frowned. I stood up and walked over to where I stored the vodka, pouring myself a glass.

" what no ice?"

" psshht " I grunted and returned to bed after taking a swig, setting it on the nightstand.

" darling" he softly cooed running his fingers down my spine.

" yes my love?" I turned to him and he pulled me into another kiss, trailing his fingers across my chest.

He kissed down my neck, his warm breath causing my hairs to stand on end.

" I love you, and I cannot say that enough" as he nipped at my ear lobe. I felt my legs go numb as his hand slid lower.

" and I cannot hear it enough" I moaned back as his hand slid down lower dancing around me.

" I love you" he whispered with each kiss he placed onto me, slowly moving down my body. My entire body felt on fire.

He gently kissed the hollow of my hips.

" Jack" I softly whined.

" yes?" He said cocking a brow.

I was already wet, soaked even, he always had this effect on me, the ability to make me melt.

" I want you so sehr viel" ( very much) I gasped out.

His fingers still hovering over my crotch.

" but angel..." he protested.

" scheisse do you want me to be finished instantly ?" I whined.

" no but-" his eyes flicked up at me.

" fine!" I moaned.

He tore away the delicate fabric, the lace was hardly a challenge as he ran his tongue down my clit.

"You weren't lying" he moaned as his tongue slid over my slick core.

He began sliding his tongue deep inside, my abdomen when numb and my legs starting twitching in pleasure. His pleased moans as he flicked his tongue over me, devouring my wetness. His nose bumping my clit as his warm moans pulsed into me. Hands squeezing my ass and thighs.

I started moaning louder gripping his hair.

" bitte bitte! " I cried out, I was too close. He just pressed his hand against me, and swirled his tongue harder hitting me again and again over my swollen spot. Legs shaking as I came, he moaned loudly as he sucked my clit.

" Ich bin mein Liebling leid" ( I'm sorry my darling) I panted out. Trying to relax my body but I craved more.

" don't be" he said with a smug smile after wiping his face.

" can I make it up to you?" I asked stilling breathless.

" do you want me to fuck you?" He asked huskily.

" I want that more than anything" my breathless voice pleading.

" give me a minute" he said as he went to wash his face. As he returned I pounced into his arms. He gripped my body to him, I pushed down his boxers as he stepped out of them.

Wrapping my arms around his neck as we fell onto the bed. His erect member plunging into me as I almost let out a pleasured shriek his hand clasped over my mouth. He then replaced his hand with lips, kissing as deep as he was.

Our moans echoing in each other's mouths as he rocked into my walls. The rhythm of our bodies falling into perfect sync. As his hands slid under me pulling me onto his lap as my legs fell behind him, twitching with each pulsation. His arms holding my body in place as he gyrated into me, speeding up and slowing down on the way back.

My firm breasts bouncing with each thrust. His neck becoming more relaxed as I rubbed it. Bracing my elbows onto his shoulders as I pulled myself up, feeling inch by inch of his hard cock leaving my tightened walls. He paused for a moment to breathe, foreheads pressed as he moaned.

The slick head of his cock just barely in my wet entrance.

" angel " he pleaded.

I am no angel right now. Gently sliding him back into me, pulling back up. His moans begging me.

" please..."

" wie viel?" ( how much) I teased, he hovered his lips near mine, going in for a kiss but pulling away with a slight smirk.

" wie viel" I repeated.

My arms and thighs tired from all the strength to stay hovered.

He picked me up carrying me over to a wall, arching his brow and waiting, the cold wall made me tense up, drawn to his warmth. The aching fire inside of me burning for him.

" zeigen mir" ( show me) I whispered into his ear. The moment it escaped my lips I felt all of him inside me. The pressure and tightness causing me to tense up inside, letting out a loud moan as he held me while jerking into my wetness.

Our moans becoming all that was spoken, our lips crashing into a kiss, tongues expertly dancing.

He pulled away as he let out a heavy pant. He carried me back to the bed, his footsteps causing the shock to echo inside myself. He gently laid me onto the bed before gliding back into me.

All of his muscles tense, when I would raise my hips they would relax into a more comfortable thrust.

Swirling one hip upwards, hitting the areas rarely stroked. Tightly pinching my nipples eliciting another series of panting his name out.

My hips were on fire, everything was shaking and I could feel my legs losing control and just fully shaking as he plunged harder and harder, with passionate fury. His hands lacing into mine holding them above my head and pinning me into place, as he slowed down for a moment, gently resting his forehead against mine. He grunted in response to my moans, his hand sliding down my side, leaving a trail of numbness as he went. My entire body felt electric, a gentle tug on the nape of my neck sent a rush through me. Trembling in pleasure and exhaustion, i tightened around him as another moan escaped my lips. He flipped my on top , the sudden movement giving me more energy. On my knees, i began the motion again, of rising and sliding onto him, until his hand ran along my spine again, sending a frantic shock of euphoria. My thighs gripped his and i let out a gasping moan. "Jack..." i whispered. He groaned and pulled his body up to kiss down my neck, nipping at the skin. My breasts hitting his sculpted chest, the sensation causing a faster pace as he gripped my ribs and lifted me up, hovering above as his length hit all the right places. His hands letting me go as i fell back onto the bed, he climbed ontop of me, reentering and sliding in with ease, the shock and way he came in causing a full body shake, digging my heels into his back as his ejaculation filled me, setting off my orgasm. Both moaning in pleasure before collapsing next to each other. His hand laid on my stomach as we laid in silence restoring our breathing.

" I love you" came his hoarse voice after a few minutes followed by a kiss to my temple.

His arm extended out to me and I snuggled into his side, resting my head on his shoulder. He laid a few more kisses to my forehead, a smile was felt against my skin as he did it.

" you make me feel human again" he sighed.

" how?"

Silence, maybe that's asking too much to know what he meant behind that.

" you've always been this light in my life, and not having you around, feeling alone. It gets to you, I thought I was gone..."

Then silence again, a sharp inhale as he squeezed my side.

" you don't need to continue, I don't know why I asked"

I feel like an idiot.

" shhh no, it's fine, you probably haven't been telling me as much either because of your reasons as well. It's fine, I just want us to be open but it's hard for me to go back into that headspace, that you have taken me out of. So revisiting it makes me feel like I'm back in that time. I don't want to remember ange" his voice sounded so sad and lost.

" understood "

" I've upset you"

" it's good to get it out, but I understand, we are the same in that sense "

" but I upset you " he repeated, his voice laced with exhaustion.

" a lot of things are upsetting, but not you. You take your time, I've taken my time so you most certainly can take yours" my voice sounding more certain than I feel.

" anyways. Medication... yes?"

He let out a sigh.

" doctors orders" I added cheekily.

His sad face broke into a grin followed by a hand smacking his forehead.

" you are ridiculous" he laughed.

I smiled smugly while leaning over him, my breasts grazing his chest.

" welllll if the doctor always gives my shots like this..."

" oh hush. Not this again" I smiled as I injected him.

" what? I am not allowed to make comments about my very attractive doctor?"

Arching a brow as I recapped the syringe and put it into the bin.

" excuse me, I mean the most beautiful woman in the world " he teased as he wrapped his arms around me. I nuzzled into the crook of his neck, resting a hand over his heart. No fast heartbeat just a normal beat as he planted a kiss on the top of my head, lulling a deep and comfortable sleep.

 **A/N: HEY! yeah... i tried, had some help with the smut. I hope it's okay, if not that's fine too, i tried. It's not really going to be a regular thing but i felt bad at the long build up to the first one, and felt there needed to be another one? i don't know...**

 **Anyways! massive love to everyone who reads and reviews. I wouldn't have made it this far without you all, and i mean that. It's been rough but the continued support is so encouraging, so thank you for that!**


	45. Chapter 45

Walking to the lab in the morning after struggling to leave John again, I cannot help but worry that something happened overnight to the experiment.

Pausing outside the doors to take a sip of coffee and wait for Winston. If it's bad I don't want to overreact, if he's there maybe I can contain my emotions. If it doesn't work it's fine, it will be okay, we have other ideas.

Taking a deep breath after greeting Winston.

" worried?" He asked " oh wait of course you are... uh... it will be okay!"

" it will be!" I replied as cheerfully as I could.

Walking over to the containment test, it has to have worked. I know it worked. Exhaling slowly and looking at it. ... it didn't work.

" I suppose we can review the footage to see what happened" said Winston tapping on the glass enclosure. No signs of life at all. Just another way to destroy what I created.

" you also have to remember. Your son is different, there's many ways his is different from what happened to..."

Waving my hand dismissively and nodding.

" I know, I just hoped that I could fix something. I don't know why this is so difficult"

Winston chuckled.

" do you have the slightest clue about how advanced all of your tech is? I don't think you are giving yourself enough credit. Now let's get to work and review what happened and at what times, which should be simple enough. "

" thank you Winston you are a good friend " I sighed and he patted my shoulder.

" Athena could you pull up the records on when the movement stopped" he said cheerfully.

" wait. Athena?! I didn't know you were monitoring the monitoring, ech! I mean. I didn't know this would be on file!" Fuming as my words tumbled out.

" Angela it's fine"

" but isn't Sombra a hacker?"

" well yes but-"

" turn it off" I said quickly.

" Athena shut down in the lab"

Athenas voice chirped " shutting down"

" Winston...I'm sorry I just. We cannot have any of that in here..."

" I made a mistake, I'm so used to having Athena that I must have just done it.." he apologized.

" so it was just the monitoring over night and not while we were working on it... right?"

" right" he said uneasily.

I don't have time to focus on this. We need to move ahead with another test and record data from the one from last night.

I handed Winston the camera we used last night, he began skipping ahead on the footage.

The next few hours passed without much difficulty. Luckily losing myself to hard data usually is a good distracted and helps me lose all track of time and thankfully emotions.

We discovered when it went awry, and injected another with another study. Resetting up the gear to record while we parted ways for the evening. I was greeted by Jack and John when I entered our room.

John was playing with some toys and looked up at me with a look of joy.

" mommy!" He squeaked as he jumped up and reached up at me. Bending down I scooped him up into my arms, holding him tight. I need to figure this out for him.

He started wiggling and I placed him on the bed, were he crawled over to Jack, who put down his tablet and tackled him.

" how was your day?" He asked as he squeezed John.

" daaaad"

" what?"

" no fair no fair!" Whined John.

" of course it's fair..."

I giggled and sat next to them.

" it was interesting, es funktioniert immer noch nicht" ( it still doesn't work). Jack let go of John who jumped to the floor and began playing with some toys again.

Jack pulled me over to him and held me, softly whispering into my ear that " everything is alright"

Leaning into him, his warmth and steady heart rate was comforting.

John making smashing and crashing sounds as he collided his toys into fights.

" what did you do today?" I mumbled.

" worked with bastion while John played with Jesse and Lena"

" did you know Jesse is a cowboy?" Said John making pew pew pew noises and finger guns.

Jack held back a laugh, and I covered his mouth with my hand. Jesse was an unusual fellow, but who wasn't.

" oh yeah ?" I questioned holding back a giggle as well.

" yeah! He said that I can watch a cowboy movie tomorrow if they watch me again..."

" uhm... did he happen to say which one?" I inquired, hoping it wasn't something with too much violence or really any.

" nope!" Said John returning to his toys and cartoons.

" oh I'm sure Jesse wouldn't show him ' high noon' " said Jack.

I turned to him with a face of fear.

" Ich würde ihn töten" ( I would kill him)

" but wouldn't that be promoting violence?" He laughed, his face lit up with mischevious joy.

I pushed his arm, and responded with a kiss on my nose.

" all I'm saying is, he's not showing our son high noon. Or uhm. Anything with bulky the kid"

"... you mean billy... billy the kid?"

" yes, that one"

" noted! We will make sure it's only quentin tarantino"

" JACK!" I squeaked, then regretted the volume. But our rooms are mostly sound proof, mostly.

Jack pulled me into his chest, his laughter vibrating my body, then he rested his head on my head.

" then again, I was watching a lot of things I shouldn't have, but not at four!" I argued.

" almost five!" Said John.

" yes, almost five, still not old enough for what we are talking about " I said calmly, trying not to let my worry get the best of me.

" angel, I'm teasing you" said Jack, he gently rubbed my shoulders and I relaxed. Wait. He's almost five... scheisse. How time can fly, I curled against Jack, and his arms rested on top of me. He was already more advanced than most kids his age, the serum and his life forcing him to grow up faster as well.

" can we go there?" Asked John pointing at the screen, a generic town setting was shown, people shopping and life going on.

" I don't think that's a real place" said Jack carefully.

" oh..." replied John sadly.

" but there are places like it" added Jack, his tone softening.

" oh!" Said John more excitedly.

We can't keep him locked up in here forever...

John yawned and looked up at us, before climbing onto the bed and joining.

Jack was absently stroking my hair, tilting my head to look up at him he seemed lost in thought. I wish there was something we could do, Lucio couldn't take him, or Hana. I certainly cannot... the rest of the team is supposed to be "dead" or laying low. Our son with anyone from the " alive" members of overwatch in public would be obvious.

The problem is safety, if he is discovered and his obvious lineage out there, he's a target. My son is a target... and we are trapped within these walls until something is done. Talon without Reyes would knock them off their strong footing. They know too much they know how to keep us occupied, it's all too much.

A soft laugh from John echoed in the near silent room, the glow from the tv and quiet volume all comforting. Jack let out a sigh and cleared his throat before saying that it was bedtime.

John protested but he was so exhausted he was asleep the moment he arrived at his own bed. I kissed his soft forehead and walked back to our room together.

Jack seemed agitated, the smile was fading on his face and his eyes distant as he paced for a moment.

" what is it darling?" I softly asked, i don't want to pry but I don't want him anxious.

" did Winston not talk to you today?"

" yes.. we talked about what we were working on and other various things... why?"

Jack sighed and patted the bed for me to join him. What didn't Winston talk to me about ?

" well, now with your research going well for-"

" it's not going well though!" I interrupted, going well is far from the truth.

" it's going well for the other purpose and that is what we are currently focused on"

Anger started to boil, rarely do I feel such intense anger towards anyone but this struck a nerve.

" Angela I didn't..." he started to say but stopped himself knowing that nothing could fix this in the moment. I crumpled into his chest. He gently stroked my back as I let out a shaky breath.

"I know this is hard, and I didn't mean that our son isn't important. But the most important thing is making sure he can actually live a life" he muttered.

He was right, actually right.

" I love you, but what I was trying to say is, we have been narrowing down a few talon hot spots. Where activity is more aggressive, so we might start attacking what we believe is their bases. But obviously need more confirmation, but if we head out there we need to make sure we can deal with him"

I sighed, we could keep fighting about this, or I could let it go. It's almost a daily thing now, the back and forth.

" I don't want to keep arguing about this, but we can talk about it. You stand on one side and I've been on the other for a long time... I have gone down a road I didn't think I would and"

" I'm going to do it Jack, I'm still going to feel conflicted about it, but I'm going to allow its use, it does work for what you want. I just didn't want to fully reveal that it's effective completely. But it is" I let out a long exhale, feeling calmer as my forehead touched his chin.

" I just got upset because I cannot figure out how to help John, so that's more of why I'm upset. I know what needs to be done, I'm not going to stand in the way, I will be by your side as I have been. "

My chin was lifted by his hand and his lips kissed mine, caressing my cheek as our foreheads touched.

" thank you "

" you don't need to thank me for anything" I whispered, our lips barely touching. His warmth radiating and causing my pulse to race momentarily. He leaned back pulling me down with him.

" we should probably rest, there could be an alarm any moment tonight" he mumbled. Ugh, more stress more fighting.

" medication then sleep" as I reached for a pre loaded syringe, quickly injecting him before snuggling. His hand gently stroking my side as we fell asleep.

His sleep grunting startled me awake. His phone was buzzing, mine wasn't.

" Jack" I mumbled.

Mine started buzzing.

" Jack" i pressed my hands against his chest. I felt his strong hand grip my arm and flip me back onto the mattress.

" hey!" Came a startled cry from my throat.

" ange?" He exclaimed letting me go and growling.

" fuck! " he slammed his hands down.

" Jack it's fine, I woke you up"

" Angela! I never used to be like this!" His eyes full of anger and regret. I handed him his phone and grabbed mine next.

' attempted hacking into Athena. Managed to stop it. Meeting at 7, be ready. '

Be ready, usually the expression for be ready to head out. Luckily it's only four in the morning so more time to sleep, but poor Winston will probably be awake for the rest of this.

I curled around Jack's back.

" ange, I need to leave for a few minutes, maybe longer. Try to get some rest okay?" He soothed.

" wait... what for?"

" Winston needs to speak with me for a bit" he said as he slid into his pants and a tshirt, he leaned down to plant a kiss on my cheeks before leaving and putting on his mask.

I'm interested... but not enough to want to stay awake longer than I need too.

" darling" came his soothing voice.

My eyes popped open fuzzily focusing on his face, but the mask was glaring back at me.

" get ready, and hurry" he said gruffly the mask making it sound more bitter. After a few minutes of flinging on clothes and pulling up my hair I was ready, not sure for what exactly.

" your gear is already packed, so we are heading straight for the deck"

" what...? Did I miss something? Did I miss the meeting?"

" no time, briefing on the way"

I was struggling to keep pace with him. What the hell is going on... I. The days of overwatch this wasn't unusual , but now it's not exactly something we do. Charge in guns blazing.

I settled into my seat, Jesse was sleepily looking at me as he sat next to me.

Hana and Lucio hopped on together, also looking exhausted, they curled next to each other, her head nuzzled into his shoulder. The rest of the crew minus Winston was here. Ana was talking with Jack, Reinhardt and Torbjorn. You could see the worried looks on their faces under the guise of strength. Once you've known them for so long you can see the cracks in their expressions.

" I wonder what the meanin' of all this is..." Jesse grunted as he exhaled a cloud of smoke.

Glancing at my monitor it was around six am. So the main meeting didn't happen.

" I don't know" I mumbled back, he extended a lighter and I lit up.

" alright team, attempted hacking during the night, Athena managed to stop it with the help of Winston. However, it blocked the news of an attack in Dorado" said Ana

" again?!" Sighed Hana.

" yes, again. Seventy- six is the most knowledgeable of this area, together we managed to find key spots to invade. This won't be easy, communication is key, and making sure that your safety is priority. If you are dead, you are of no good to our cause. It seems talon and the few remaining Los muerotos members are causing this. Which means the hack could have been others. We do know they didn't want our involvement. " Ana continued her voice firm. She turned to the map and began highlighting streets and the possible bases, along with delegating how the attack would go. Once again I'm back with bastion, but if need be we will both be out in the field.

Everyone resumed to quietly talking after Ana announced everything. Gear was being shifted and attached, I got into my suit and returned to my seat, just in time to watch Pharah leave with Jesse, Torbjorn and Hanzo. Then I watched as Lucio, Reinhardt, Hana and jack left. I could feel my stress increase as his head nodded in my direction before leaving. He normally wouldn't do that, so maybe he's really worried? I tried thinking of the last time that happened... Ana and Genji took off with Lena and I sat looking at bastion. His soft whirring providing some comfort.

" looks like we found a nest " said Ana, the map lit up where her location was. So far from us already.

" I hate feeling useless" I mumbled out loud.

" everyone has a use" replied bastion. My head shot up looking at him, he really has been learning from Jack.

" thank you" I softly said, time just keeps passing. The chatter getting more intense as they begin to move in. Basically everyone was assembled at some points around the building.

" READY" was the loudest boom into my headset coming from Fareeha.

For a minute I could hear a concussion rocket blast, then her voice went silent.

Jack could be heard barking orders to Hana and Lucio who kept falling out of group and trying to move ahead faster.

" Any readings from Pharah? " asked Reinhardt his voice booming.

" pharah we need the signal" said Ana

" her comm is acting- " then garbled radio silence followed.

The map started blinking like crazy and the doors flew open.

A jarring electronic buzzing took over my brain. My focus going in and out and in and out, I could see bastion firing but nothing happening. Just smoke, lots of smoke. I pressed the emergency button on my suit but I couldn't tell if it worked.

"necesitamos hablar" ( we need to talk )came a familiar voice. I let out a scream, or what is feeling like a scream, my throat is raw.

Rubber purple boots on the ground.

" she's useless like this..." came a deep gravely voice.

" Debo apagarlo?"( should I turn it off)

" how long can this hold?" Came the male voice again. The floor was blurry and I couldn't tell if bastion was still firing.

" another two, but I could reconfigure it to last longer..."

" this will work "

Every hair on my body felt on end, my throats tightening stalling my breathing as my suit triggered a reaction. Please. Please let this get through. The other emergency alert that had been built. Completely secret except for jack and Winston.

" hello birdie, now... we need some information or do you want a repeat performance of overwatch HQ? "

" eh... I don't think she can answer, I think this EMP is rendering her useless" came the female voice as her shoe tapped the floor.

Blood began trickling out of my ears and nose. It's fucking him, it's fucking him. Is he here?! Working through the pain my eyes looked up, just one blurry figure, feminine.

" Mierda!" ( fuck) said the woman.

" what I need from you is your tech... you can hand it over... or we will find other ways" came the voice that no longer sounded like the Reyes I knew.

" she's useless and it's going to be too hard to get her out in the... thirty seconds I have left here! "

I let out a sigh.

" til next time then... " said Reyes.

Just like that her body vanished and so did the horrible sound. But bastions firing was ear splitting. The entire area was spinning, everything was double...tripled... that fucking noise.

" bastion please stop " I cried out trying to catch my breath.

A pair of arms wrapped around me and my instincts kicked in, slamming onto the floor.

" oooof! Geez ange" screeched Lena as she zipped away towards bastion.

" I'm so sorry"

" no worries, it was easier for me to check, seventy six was like ' go check on ange, grumble grumble " her arms crossed her chest. She was the fastest after-all and no one should be expendable but at least she wouldn't miss much.

" you alright love?" Her voice softened as I was lost in thought.

" aw rubbish" she shouted once she noticed a few electronics making fizzled out noises.

" hey guys, she's mostly fine, ship a bit fucked but I'll try to sort it out "

She sounded so annoyed, then again I didn't asses damages yet, the memory of the noise still clear as ever.

" ugh what happened in here?" Lena grunted as she pulled some shell casings from one of the control panels.

" bastion? Did you accidentally fire again?, it's alright if ya did but..."

" she was in here , well. Sort of? A hologram?"

" what..."

" Sombra ? She EMPED the place, and I talked with ... him" the reality of the situation kicking in.

" wait... I need to move this and cloak it. Bollucks. ATHENA! " she shouted, as she made the ways to the controls.

" oi! Athena! Winston?" Her voice tilting to annoyed.

I pulled the comm out of my ears and picked off the dried blood, I should just grab news ones, but I'm rather useless right now.

The moment I stuck the comm back in I could hear the teams chattering again.

" this is a real mess. Like. A real mess. " Lena grumbled as she turned on the engine.

" moving out, i will update on the location in a tick" said Lena into the comms. I could hear her so it was working, just not to Athena or Winston.

As we landed, Lena began scurrying around again.

" okay landed. I don't want to discuss the location over the comm. but I'll be back with you in a minute" said Lena.

" good we need you " said Ana.

" what's it like out there?"

" bad, you'll probably be needed. Try not to get nabbed... k? And try to sort this stuff out with Winston and Athena " she said before zipping off.

' the communication line to you isn't working, can you get on that please?' I messaged Winston.

Something about the entire interaction I had made me more uneasy than it should have. He wasn't actually here, Sombra wasn't either, well. Not exactly. It's not like I can discuss any of this on the comms now that they have been compromised.

Rinsing off my face again, the dried blood came off completely.

' I'm working on it' was Winston's reply. The teams were moving in more hastily, gunfire over the comms and screaming. I'm useless out there, more liability than anything.

Then again, I'm a sitting duck back here, maybe he's lurking.

" pull out! " shouted Winston's voice over the comms.

" what?" Was Reinhardt's angry reply.

"You heard me, get out of there... NOW!" Repeated Winston.

" but the area is almost clear!" Argued Ana.

" look up, the reinforcements from the actual military are coming in, get out now or get caught" pleaded Winston.

" I'm headed back now, I can pick you-oofft" Lena started to say but the sound of her being shot came through loud and clear.

" tracer?" Said Lucio.

" I'm fine... ugh just some minor damages" but her readings showed otherwise. Abdominal wound, barely missing anything vital.

I heard her heavy breathing as she zipped into the ship running to the controls. Carefully beaming the caduceus at her.

" thanks love" she whispered as she started piloting. Her slight wincing and grunting in pain were louder than the start up of the engine.

" alright loves. Ana, Pharah, Hanzo get ready" she said as she opened the doors with a flick of a switch.

They hurried in and Ana rushed to Lena

" let me take over, you go and get help" ordered Ana. Lena just nodded and I helped her over to the table.

Ana's voice was fading behind me as I set to work, peeling up her shirt to expose her abdomen. The healing had helped but my tech misread the damage...

That doesn't make any sense...

I re scanned her abdomen and found the bullet, carefully cleaning the area and pulling it out as she let out a small scream, Jesse held her hand when he arrived.

Carefully sealing up the wound and applying some nanotechnology to the location of the injury.

As I helped her up and over to an empty seat where she could lay down and rest, everyone was on board. The ability to listen into others conversations was still painful. My ears shouldn't still be messed up but my balance was off a bit. Sighing as I sat down.

" Lena mentioned something happening to you while we were out" said Genji as he walked over to me.

" yes... I need to bring it up with the rest of the team but..." I let out a frustrated grunt.

" I understand, take a minute, clear your mind and think" he calmly said.

The booming of Reinhardt complaining about this and that, arguing with Torbjorn. The giggles of Hana and Lucio. The hushed tones of jack and Ana...

" focus..." repeated Genji softly.

The noises are driving me insane.

Everything mixing together creating this perfect storm of annoyance, my inability to fight back, how could I have? I cannot disable a hologram?! And if everyone would just shut up for one fucking moment so I could focus... focus. Focus.

Jack and Ana walked over to me as I tried containing my anxiety.

" what happened?" Asked Jack carefully.

" it happened again, Sombra was here in here and she used an EMP, and ... uhm. Reyes. Reyes spoke to me and bastion tried shooting but nothing worked and my brain felt like it was braten ( frying) ... uhm. Boiling?"

" what did he say?!" Asked Jack as he sat down next to me on the other side.

" he asked me to help him, or... or he would-"

" Angela..." said Ana softly.

" he said he would repeat the explosion again" I feel sick, first for hearing it, hearing him and then for the fear then the sadness of jack having to know this.

" what did he want ?" Asked Ana, her eyes flickered over to Jack for a moment.

" tech, he wants my tech, but they ran out of time..."

"So Sombra wasn't really there?"

" not technically, she was more of a hologram" I said.

" she is talented but this is a new level... why wouldn't she be in the flesh? Especially if they wanted something" stated Ana.

"That was bothering me too, but I don't know..."

" intimidation, checking to see how they can infiltrate, if you are paralyzed with fear then they can make sure their attempts into the system will go on without interruption" said Jack.

" does Winston know?"

" I messaged him because I couldn't hear him, but he doesn't know"

" well lets handle that now, you just wait here. We will try to get Lena to cloak us and make this more unpredictable, also we need to turn off all our devices once we talk to him" said Ana making a mental checklist out-loud.

Jack squeezed my hand before walking away with Ana, she resumed flying and probably talking to Winston.

Jesse looked at me sympathetically and just scooted a light across to me. Tucking my feet under me and lighting a cigarette. I just want to hold Jack and John and disappear. I want this to be over, all the struggle coming to terms with creating something to kill is just... I just want it over. I just want this all to be over but life isn't that simple is it? Life has never been simple, it's always complex and for us, more so.

" you okay?" Asked Jesse.

Lena was curled up near him resting.

" no, but it's being worked on"

We returned to our own silence. The others would talk but I lack the energy to join in.

" alright team, all communication devices must be turned off, I mean everything. " said Ana.

Hana sighed and so did Lucio as they began going through their gear. Flipping off my phone, taking off the comm pieces and suit.

" ugh why didn't Winston just figure out how to block this attack?" Mumbled Hana.

" it's more complicated than that, since we don't know exactly what happened, what she used or if something was attached, this is the smartest way to go" said Jack.

" minor detour for a bit, I know of a place. " said Ana. It was weird not hearing her amplified.

The engine shut off and the quiet was unsettling. Not being able to know how Winston or John was added to my own tension. Jack took the seat next to me and I curled into his rigid side.

" I'm sorry" I mumbled.

" for what?"

" not being able to fight or stop it"

He ran a hand down my arm and laughed slightly in disbelief.

" you can't fight a hologram and you don't know how to handle an EMP attack" he said softly. People had resumed talking. So we had a buffer for our conversation thankfully.

" I'm worried about John " I whispered.

" Winston will take care of him, it's all going to be fine" he said as he laced his fingers into mine. But you could hear some uncertainty in his voice.

" how long? " I whispered.

" three hours, five max" he whispered back. His voice was his own since the mask was shut down. His attempt to deepen it was working... almost.

" I'm soooooo boooored!" Whined Hana loudly.

Jesse stood up and took placed a deck of cards into her hands.

" what... what do I do with these ?" Said Hana in total confusion.

" well I reckon you play with them " retorted Jesse with a grin.

" uhm..." she looked confused.

Jesse let out a sigh and Reinhardt and Torbjorn were laughing.

" we will start out with something simple then, go fish"

" ugh I don't want to fish" pouted Hana.

Jesse gave the most exasperated look. Lena sat up and began to explain it to the young girl, and Lucio.

" do you two want to join? " asked Jesse glancing over at us.

I could use the distraction...

" I will" I stated.

" I would but... I should probably help Ana work on some things" said Jack.

Jesse handed me some cards and I focused on making matches. Genji decided to join as well, while Hanzo sat observing.

" sooo like. What would happen if we had stayed in combat longer? " asked Hana as she scrunched her brows together while looking at her cards.

" well, for one... we would have been discovered as violating the petras act" spoke Genji softly.

" oookay but we were fighting against the terrorists" argued Hana.

" not many people see it that way" said Hanzo.

" but... it would have proved that we are doing the right thing" she persisted.

" no... it would have shown them violating something, regardless of right or wrong cause" Hanzo's voice bordering on annoyed.

" ooookay" replied Hana as she shook her head in annoyance.

After a few minutes of playing with minor small talk she spoke up again.

" I mean Lucio is regarded as a hero for what he did to vishkar, why can't people see-"

" that is completely different" stated Jesse cutting her off.

She pouted some more and sighed as she asked for any cards.

" how is it that you joined us and don't understand?" Said Fareeha

" I just... I don't understand how people helping can be viewed as criminals..." sighed Hana, Lucio gently rubbed her shoulder.

" and I don't understand how you don't understand. All of this should have been explained when you joined. That we aren't a respected organization anymore" said Fareeha.

" I'm sorry I brought it up! I do understand but -"

" clearly you don't if you keep asking questions" grunted Fareeha.

She is her mothers daughter after all, but this conversation is slowly going sour.

" hey hey now! I believe we are all on edge right now, let's just play this and talk about something else " said Lucio trying to keep the peace.

" I didn't mean to get so upset, I'm just upset at the situation" said Fareeha, she got up and went to go sit with Reinhardt and Torbjorn again. Her frustration was understandable, for Hana to join without exactly understanding was a bit problematic. Then again Hana usually just blurts out anything.

" Well... it looks like I won" said Jesse with a smile as he laid down his last two matching cards.

Hana frowned " is there any actual strategy to this game?!"

" it's mostly whatever hand you are given, then the attempt to collect matches, but that also relies on the hands others have, and if they can beat ya to it" said Lena.

" can we try again?" Asked Hana as we piled the cards.

"Sure can" replied Jesse.

As the game progressed I tried harder at relaxing. Fareeha eventually rejoined our group, I can sympathize with her a lot but her outbursts are becoming more frequent. Clearly she has something to work out.

" so... do you think all this stuff will effect my concert?" Said Lucio breaking the small talk.

" I believe it would look more suspicious if you cancelled " said Genji " but it's something to talk to the others about" he added.

" right on, will do... I will just feel bad if like. I'm up there rocking out and some of you are there but what about those of you who stay behind ?"

" we will be fine" I said offering a small smile.

" don't remind me that you won't be there"

I frowned at him and looked back down at my cards.

" but I'll be there!" Squeaked Hana.

" well of course you will... you are my favorite song" said Lucio.

Jesse and Hanzo let out an exasperated groan. Lena started giggling loudly and pointing

" I knew it! I knew it!" She shouted.

" haven't heard that level of corniness since Jack... uh. Sorry. " said Jesse he corrected himself quickly and looked down.

" oh god, he had some of the best dad jokes..." giggled Lena then she glanced over at me and stopped giggling.

" sorry -" she mumbled.

I should say something, but expressing that it's fine and... fuck it.

" it's fine, really " I managed to force out.

" anyways, I knew you two 'ad a thing for each other. " giggled Lena returning her gaze to a blushing Hana and Lucio.

" oh stop you are embarrassing them" I said.

" I think they managed to do that themselves " said Fareeha with a laugh.

" if love is an embarrassment then so be it!" Argued Lucio.

" oh you are just givin' us ammo now" said Jesse as he lit a cigar and tossed the lighter my way, accepting and lighting my own. I am an idiot and I know it , but it's not doing anything besides being addicting.

" I think it's sweet" I gently encouraged.

" oh you would be supportive " said Lucio.

" of course I would be" escaped my lips. I glanced over at Jack and Ana, her face was shadowed with fear as they worked on the control panel some more.

" guess what? " Said Lena then without waiting she added " I WIN!"

Hana grunted and shoved her cards into the pile.

" oh hey, how much longer?" Asked Lena shouting at the others.

" working on it..." said Ana.

" good luck getting information out of her" Fareeha stated.

Jack motioned for me, I hesitated before getting up from my seat. Whenever he would do this it would be for bad news.

Stepping into the cock pit I faced him and Ana.

" i need to check that nothing was attached to the outside of the ORCA" said Jack.

" why you? " blurted out.

" because he's better at identifying these things than most, and he's more prepared to deal with anything he might encounter" the words just came out of Ana like she was talking about the most normal thing. We are supposed to be safe out here, but with how long we have been sitting and without contact who knows?

" I'll be fine, I just felt the need to tell you "

" because you might not be fine..."

I grunted.

His gloved hand cupped my cheek

" I will be fine, I just didn't want to jump out there without telling you"

" because you-"

" Angela. He will be alright. He will be right outside " Ana said abruptly.

I quickly wrapped my arms around him, inhaling the leathery scent and whispered " stay safe out there".

He gently patted my shoulder and Ana opened the doors as he went out.

" why is he leaving ?!" Boomed Reinhardt. As the doors closed I exhaled, letting the breath release and inhaling again. Trying to steady my heart rate.

" just making sure everything is in order" said Ana.

The team looked uneasy, no back up and he's out there.

I began messing with some of my medical supplies, reorganizing them while small talk went over my head. Focusing on anything besides the gauze being put back into their place and my medical instruments back into their appropriate locations.

Once it was dealt with I looked up at Ana, I know time has passed. More than expected by the look on her face, the slight frown of concern. Her eyes locked onto mine and she attempted hiding the look, but I saw it. That same look she would give me before departing on a dangerous mission. Relax... he's just outside circling the ship. Relax... he wouldn't put himself into danger like this.

" so once he's done out there, we can go?" Said Torbjorn loudly.

" yes" said Ana.

" well what's taking so long?" Asked Lena.

" if I knew I would tell you, we don't have communications on, so we don't know. "Replied Ana exasperated.

Checking shouldn't take this long, I began twisting a loose strand of hair around my finger and smoking.

" well it's still taking awhile " mumbled Lena.

The ship shook for a moment and exploding sounds.

Ana winced and opened the doors running out, without fully processing I tried to follow but Genji flung an arm out stopping me and holding me back. My hands gripped the cool armor trying to pry myself free.

" let me go, let me go" this can't be happening again, I cannot have this happen again.

" I'll check" said Genji, " if you promise to stay here "

" you can't expect me to stay behind" I argued, still wrestling to get out of his grip but Jesse stood up and linked his arms around me.

" scheisse Bastarde!"

" calm yourself. Ana will get him. Calm" said Genji. As if on cue Ana had Jack leaning on her walking in. Shrapnel was embedded into his chest armor but his leg wasn't working correctly.

Genji and Jesse let me go, my chest bursting with anxiety as Ana helped him to my medical table.

" Lena get us out of here. I don't care where just fly " said Ana forcefully.

" what happened ?" I asked Jack as I began to inspect his leg through the holes.

He inhaled sharply as I began pulling some of the superficial pieces out.

" it was an explosive device, probably a tracker as well put on the outside of the ship. He removed it and it exploded upon removal, this idiot took the brunt of the explosion instead of the ship." Said Ana as she shook her head.

" wie kann man nur so dumm sein?" ( how could you be so stupid )

" Ich war nicht zu denken" ( I wasn't thinking) he muttered.

" clearly" I grunted as I inspected the damage.

"aber du mich noch lieben?" ( but you still love me ?"

I arched an eyebrow at him and pulled out a piece deeply imbedded into his leg, blood began pooling out of the wound, quickly apply disinfectant and cleaning the area.

" I'll take that as a no" he laughed while clearly wincing in pain.

" natürlich liebe ich dich" I mumbled as I applied some tech. ( of course I love you).

He sighed and relaxed more so I could continue working. I could hear the engines starting.

" keep all communications off. " Ana ordered.

" uh where do you want me to go?" Asked Lena after a few minutes. Jack's legs were a complete mess, each piece removed causing more and more blood loss. I couldn't do a complete body scan due to technical issues from earlier. Another thing that would need investigating once back on the base. Looking down over the injuries a weird purple discoloration began to appear.

My brows knitting together as I worked, what is... no no, how the hell did they make this? Rushing over to my supply kit and dragging it to the table.

" something wrong?" Asked Jack.

" probably " I mumbled as I drew blood from him and mixed it into a vial. Of course it is... the smoker purple mist. It's the maker solution.

Grabbing the antidote out of my bag and swiftly injecting him.

" I don't know why they laced it but of course they did, did you notice purple during the explosion?" I asked.

" it was an explosion and I didn't notice the purple..." he said.

" well it must have set off a mine and then triggered the explosion" I said returning to his wounds.

" sounds like overkill" he mumbled.

" agreed, but they probably know I can fix it, this whole thing is a mess..." I pushed a stray hair back into my ponytail.

I kept working, and Ana made her way over to us.

" I don't know what to do" said Ana softly.

Jack grunted " we have to get back to the base, collect supplies, and obviously Winston and John. Probably and well, you know where we should go from there" said Jack.

" you don't mean..." she said sounding slightly shocked.

" I do, it's been years, but it serves its purpose well" said Jack. I feel lost, but it's up to them anyways.

" so I should keep us trying to avoid the base for longer? Or should we just go?"

" i think we have lingered enough off course, make sure the cloaking it on. The rest of this is clear from any devices unless she snuck something inside... but I don't think a hologram could do that. I dealt with the tracker last after making sure no more were there" Jack's voice sounded so sure and confident. The commander in him was coming out, and I couldn't help but smile to myself despite the circumstances.

" I'll go instruct Lena... you rest" said Ana, she shot a wink at me and dashed off.

" can I ask what that was about?"

" just the plan ange. I don't want to say destination or location just in case, but I promise you will be safe" Jack replied.

I bit my lip and cleaned up the last area on his leg that was wounded.

" that should be fixed but we can always check more once we get back" I said.

" we probably won't have time but thank you angel" said Jack.

He sat up and stretched out his legs and groaned for a moment.

" well you shouldn't have done that" I sighed.

" hey, your work usually has me back at my normal state. It's not my fault "

Shaking my head as I returned to my seat and he returned to the control center.

" so what's gonna happen?" Asked Jesse.

" don't ask me" I replied, it's not my place to say anything right now. Returning to my worried thoughts, moving John again, even temporarily isn't something I look forward too. I want out, Jack getting injured makes me want out... forcing our child into this mess. I want out. I want out.

" I need you all to understand, once we arrive where we are going we need to get inside. Have a brief meeting, or see - check in on what is going on on their end, start making a mental list of things you need to grab in case. Okay?" Said Ana before rejoining Lena.

" what..." was collectively heard from the group.

I sat in awkward silence, voices chattering around me but nothing registering again.

 **A/N: It's been a long week or two, and i wanted to thank you all for your support. Special loves for Vanderhart, for the assistance with spanish and being so encouraging! and GOWbairdsam for being there, and encouraging me.  
**

 **To all my new readers, thank you! thank you! every new view and comment is so helpful, i cannot believe i started writing this before Orisa or Doomfist had been officially announced. Speaking of which... how excited are you to play the new character?!**

 **I apologize for any typo's or grammatical errors, i also do not own any portion of overwatch.**


	46. Chapter 46

Arriving back at the base was stressful, we hovered for a bit, checking the area to make sure we weren't followed before landing. Thankfully the building was in tact, Fareeha jumped out first to fly around quickly, double checking the area. When given the all clear we rushed in. Winston was waiting for us, a look of relief washed over his face at the site of us joining him. Quickly making our way to the meeting room. I want a minute to breathe but there's no time for this , I've evacuated plenty of buildings before. Gathering around the table, Ana and Jack quickly speaking with Winston.

I glanced over at the monitor of John sleeping, taking comfort knowing that he was in another world sleeping.

" I know today went, it wasn't exactly successful. However you all did work helping protect innocent people and that is important. However, with the attack earlier this morning and the one upon us, changes need to be made. Precautions must be taken. I need to know where you all stand on this"

Said Winston with an unwavering voice.

" we stand with you" boomed Reinhardt.

Winston fiddled with his glasses and smiled for a moment.

" some of our team thinks we would be safer elsewhere, at least for a few days, I need to know how you all feel about this, obviously you all have a choice to leave as you chose. But we have been spotted, we have been followed and we don't know if they know where we are" he added.

" if you don't know why should we be running? I say we stand and fight" said Reinhardt.

" there is multiple reasons. I'm supposed to be dead, we have a child here, we are in violation of the petras act, Angela's well... everything she is currently working on, there's just a lot to this" said Ana with exasperation.

" so while we were given a choice we don't really have one" said Hana.

" there's a choice there, we can stay or we can go" said Jesse.

Hana and Lucio began whispering to each other. Torbjorn and Reinhardt began arguing.

I just need my things fixed, and to talk to Jack completely alone.

" there's another place we could go" said Genji.

" I do not think that would be wise" Hanzo replied while shooting his brother a disdainful look.

" it would be claiming sanctuary in a way" Genji stated.

" I would say to pack up sensitive information, get that ready to go, prepare a go bag if you don't have one already" said Winston.

" feel free to turn back on your devices,but absolutely no information on location leaves this place. " he added.

I glanced at Jack as everyone but Ana and Winston took off to pack.

" I'll be a few" he said.

" alright " I replied, happy that my tone remained neutral. I'm anything but neutral. I want to talk to him but I guess it helps more when he discusses things more. Of course it would, he's detail oriented, as am I. My stomach aches as I stare at the lab, again and again I have to pack it up, dispose of the things I'm working on and lose valuable information. I began working on coding my notes for the serum I made to destroy Reyes. Luckily not too much to code, and it all came second nature at this point. Before overwatch I had my own code, I was doing a lot of things that violated most medical laws. Placing the originals in the destroy bin was always rough, but it needed to be done. The rest was stored in my head, I don't want this getting out. Carefully putting the test jars into a hard case and securing them. Packing all the antidotes and supplies to synthesize more, almost dropping

a few vials but luckily catching them, when I felt his arms around me. I hadn't noticed him enter, usually his boots scuffling in would alert me.

Relaxing into his grip and lacing my hands into his.

" what's the plan?" I asked with a lump forming in my throat.

"I'm sorry my darling" was all he said. Numbness and anxiety began to take hold.

" for?" I inquired.

" everything" he whispered.

" where are we going?" I asked.

"i cannot say and I'm sorry..." he said again.

" will we be coming back here?"

" I don't know"

" but..."

" are you all packed in here? We can head to the room next and I'll try to tell you more" he said softly.

Looking around, and feeling sadness, anxiety and helplessness.

" should be good" and with that he grabbed my hand a little tighter and we walked to the room, everyone was rushing around, but once we got to our room the stillness was a relief.

The door opened and Jack removed his mask once the door shut.

His hand rested on my cheek, his lips brushed mine for a moment before softly speaking.

" I am so sorry, I don't know when we will be back here, or if we will come back at all, for all we know they could burn this to the ground..."

A slight catch in his voice, a shakiness.

" I'm going to grab your stuff darling and pack it up now, we can wake John once we are almost done. And pack his stuff quickly. "

" but jack..."

" Angela. I know and I'm so sorry my love. If there was another way I would take it, if I could just take the two of you far away where we could be safe and live. I would. But that's not possible..."

" why are you letting this get to you so much? They just stepped it up a little bit, it's not that big of a step" scheisse what am I saying.

His face fell and I knew in that moment I overstepped everything, I said something that pushed him.

" I don't want the next step they take to be.. " he broke off what he was going to say and rested his forehead against mine.

" we should pack " I said as I tilted my head to kiss his lips, he eased into the kiss,before pulling away and holding me tightly to his chest.

"Alright we should hurry" he said, I pulled away and began just throwing things into the bins.

I noticed Jack going through drawers out of the corner of my eye. Scheisse.

When he found the box containing the ring. His face fell for a moment and his eyes closed, as he turned to face me my heart raced.

" Jack I..."

" I know, my mother told me she gave it to you... I'm... i am so sorry" he muttered.

" no need to be, you keep it" I said quickly, I scanned the floor for what I dropped and began picking up some items.

" now isn't the time to go into this" I added softly.

He grunted in frustration, glancing back up at his crestfallen expression. If he ever intended to actually give it to me for real he can do it at a better time. When he's not so flustered, his hand raked through his hair as he put the small box into his jacket pocket.

We packed in silence, I picked a few shoes to take, opting to leave the more extravagant pairs, after all they are useless to me now. Hiding and keeping what truly matters is more important. Things can always be replaced, people cannot be.

Once we finished Jack pulled me into him. Gently rubbing the small of my back before placing a kiss on my forehead.

" I'm going to check if everyone is ready, double check the lab while I do that. Then we can get John" said Jack, he sounds exhausted, but he did get shrapnel in his leg today... and the mine... and deal with the explosion which probably didn't help his mental state.

I kissed him before he put on his mask and we went our separate ways. Walking to my lab makes me feel like my stomach is in my chest, like I'm saying goodbye to some semblance of stability all over again. During the years when overwatch was active I would have never guessed this would be how it would all go down. Hesitating at the door to my lab and slowly opening the door, basically all the needed material was packed. I grabbed the documents I needed to shred and burn and headed for outside. The small fire pit stared at me. We never got the chance to make anything in it, I dropped the papers into it, sure there's a chance at any moment someone could swoop down and grab us... but this is the most effective way. Grabbing my lighter and lighting the edges as they began to burn. Crunching of the dirt behind me caused every hair to stand on end. I'm an idiot. But a slightly cold hand landed on my shoulder.

" you shouldn't be out here alone" was a welcome voice.

" I know" I mumbled as I lit my cigarette.

" I know this is difficult but everything will work out" said Genji kindly.

" thank you, it's just. It's hard "

" you've survived worse, this is just a minor set back"

I exhaled and turned to face him, his mask wasn't lit up, and his posture read calm.

The soft crackling of the shredded paper, a wind stirring up the embers and catching on my leggings.

The burn sending a painful jolt of reality through me as Genji bent down to pat out the embers.

" thank you " I said hissing in pain.

" think nothing of it, at least they are done burning now"

I nodded flicking my cigarette and stamping out the cherry. As I turned to go back in, Genji stopped me and hugged me.

" nothing will happen to you or your son... I will make sure of it" he said his grip tightened for a moment before he let go and opened the door. Slightly caught off guard by his words and hug I walked inside, Jack was turning the corner.

" ready? Reinhardt and Hanzo are taking your lab boxes to the orca" he said with an exasperated sigh.

" as ready as I can be" I said.

" I figured we will just tell him we are going somewhere else" he said with uncertainty.

" what if he asks more?"

" then we can explain some of it..." he replied sounding even more exhausted. John's door in front of us, it's like every ounce of security is being stripped away, except for them.

" I love you... " I whispered.

" I love you too" he replied as he opened the door. John was completely asleep, Jack grabbed a bag from the closet and began quickly packing clothes and things. I joined in while John softly whimpered in his sleep. Looking at the walls I could feel tears springing in my eyes, a lump formed in my throat, a quiet sob rocked my body and as I carefully held one of his toys to put into the bag I lost it. My vision in the dark combined with the tears falling and soft sobs.

" angel... angel..." whispered Jack as his arms encircled me.

" shhhh, it's okay, it's okay my darling " he cooed softly.

My body was shaking so hard and his grip tightened, comforting and grounding me to the moment.

" er sollte nicht gehen durch diese" ( he shouldn't have to go through this) I sighed.

One hand stroked my hair, his head rested on my shoulder.

" he will be fine my love, you are doing wonderful" he comforted.

I started to cry again, feeling utterly useless.

" mommy... mommy ?" Cried John.

I quickly wiped away my tears the soft glow of his nightlight casting a shadow upon this moment.

" mommy is fine, but we need you to come with us" said Jack.

John's face scrunched up and he looked confused.

" where are we going?" He asked.

" somewhere new! " said Jack trying to sound excited.

" but I want to stay here" he whined, Jack helped me stand up and I rushed over to John, pulling him into my chest.

" I know, but this is for all of us, a good change" I said. The words I had heard before, I could feel my face switch to a frown.

' it will be good for us! A new place to learn all about ' my father had said echoing in my memory. Again and again he said that to me. Jack held us both, tucked against his chest. I know time is important right now, and I know how strict he can be about that. But this... this is helping.

" it will be alright " said Jack reassuringly.

" are my toys coming?" Asked John.

" of course my darling, do you want to help us finish packing ?" I asked.

" yes" he replied as he wiggled free. Most of his things were already packed but he began searching to make sure.

Jack had joined him in the search, and I finished packing his clothes. When I felt a long wooden object in the bottom of the drawer. To my shock as I pulled out a wooden katana sword.

" uh oh" said John softly.

" what... where did you get this?!" I kept my voice even toned.

Jack glanced over and shrugged.

I'm fine with him playing with toys and making little battles and whatnot but a sword.

" where did you get this?" I asked again, I don't want to believe it was Genji. John started to cry, which makes me feel horrible.

" John it's alright, I just want to know how you got this that's all" I comforted.

" we can bring it, we really need to get moving " said Jack trying to de-escalate the situation.

John smiled and grabbed it from me, waving it around in the air and slashing sounds.

Without a doubt it had to be Genji, who will be getting a lecture from me later. Letting out a grunt of frustration we continued to pack up his things, Jack slung the bags over his shoulders and reattached his face plate.

" ready?" He asked turning his head to look at me. I'm not ready, I probably will never be ready, looking at the recently painted murals, his little bed, where he had spent the past few weeks. I grabbed the nightlight and slowly closed the door behind me. Locking it just in case.

John's little hand was holding Jacks large one, I cannot be stuck in the past.

"Mommy what's wrong?" Asked John.

" nothing, I'm coming" I said feigning strength. Two ships were ready, and Jack walked us over to the one containing Genji, Hanzo, Lucio, Hana and Lena and Jesse. Probably the best group to help John through this. Plus the safest with Lena as our pilot.

" we will be heading out just before you so wait a minute or two before joining, we will keep a look out for you" said Winston.

" aye aye captain " said Lena.

She glanced at John and smiled " ooooh we have the party ship!" She giggled.

John smiled and giggled back as she bent down to tossle his hair. I spied Genji talking to Lucio and Hanzo. Now would be the best time to reprimand my friend.

" Genji" I said my voice had a mild sing song ring to it.

" oh shoot! Looks like someone's in troooooouble" teased Lucio.

Jack and John were putting the bags into the back of the craft so now was as good of a time as any.

" did you give my son a sword?" I asked innocently.

Hanzo looked at his brother in shock.

" it is a wooden toy, and he knows not to brandish it, or to cause fights." He stated.

" oh does he?" I asked

Lucio started laughing and so did Hana.

" I thought he would like it?" Said Genji his voice bordering on anxious.

" doc, do ya think he could ask for... " then Jesse started laughing.

" MERCY!" Chimed in Lucio and Hana bursting into fits of laughter. I'm strangely glad that everyone is in such good spirits considering the horrible situation that is happening.

" I am sorry if I overstepped my boundaries" lamented Genji.

" I just would like to know before my son gets a weapon... " I said with a sigh.

" understood" replied Genji.

John came rushing in and immediately ran up to Lena.

" eh! Did you want to help me up here?" She asked excitedly.

" yes!" John replied happily, it was late and he did have some sleep it probably wasn't all he required. However, the transition would be better if I didn't try to force him to sleep.

" alright ready when you are Winston!" Said Lena.

Jesse was sitting in the co-pilots seat and he motioned for John to join him. This was the one thing keeping me sane, watching my family become his family. We watched as Winston began to shut down the system. The orcas went outside prepped to fly away. Winston's shoulders slumped as he slowly returned to his ship, tossing a glance over his shoulder. This isn't easy on anyone. My stomach began to ache again, and a wave of nausea shook my throat, Jack placed his strong hands on my shoulders.

As the other ship took off we waited in silence, even John was quiet.

" ready for you" said Winston over the main comm.

" whoops sorry bout that, I'll feed you through my comm only... but we are ready! " said Lena cheerfully. Just like that we were flying up in the air to our next destination. We don't know the full plan, well Jack probably does. A soft chatter began and I could feel my eyes getting watery again, my emotions are getting the best of me again.

" this is for the best my darling " whispered Jack.

Hana peered up from her game with Lucio.

"Pause for a sec" she said, she stretched and walked up to me, her eyes searching my face before throwing her arms around me, Jack steadied me from behind.

" whaa-" I started to say but Hana let go and shot me a smile.

" can't have mom looking so sad " she said as she skipped back over to Lucio.

I offered a small smile in thanks as she returned to her game. Jack led me over to the small table couch and I sat down.

" do I really look that sad?" I asked quietly.

He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head.

" yeah... you definitely look sad" he said.

I need to remain slightly upbeat for John's sake at least, and for our new recruits.

" I'm sorry"

" it's understandable, it's an upsetting situation, one that you have experienced before and it's hard, and ange. You have always hated change" his hand stroked my cheek for a moment. I felt calmness, and my eyes closed for a moment, bringing myself to completely clear these anxious thoughts.

" see Hana? Mom and Dad are doing just fine! " said Lucio.

" awwwww!" Cooed Hana.

I felt my cheeks burn and Jack cleared his throat. Normally he would have given them a scowl, but that's impossible to see with the mask.

Turning my attention to what John was doing, I don't want to interfere because he loves being up there, his laughter as Lena and Jesse showed him how things work. He's so well mannered and so wonderful, he's truly the most perfect son, but I know I had nothing to do with that besides give birth. Ana, Fareeha and Meera all shaped him to be such a well behaved kid.

" ange, you are doing it again" Said Jack as he rubbed my hand.

" hmm?"

" you are overthinking something else now"

" that's ridiculous..."

His voice lowered " Angela I think I know when you are going down a mental self loathing party"

I opened my mouth, but I have no reply to that, he's right... as usual. Having nothing to do but stress and try to talk about uplifting things on our way to a new location isn't easy, it was never a strong suite of mine. I would normally keep to myself and worry about the safety of the team, or try to focus on new medical discoveries. But most of the time it was fighting back memories.

Now it's a mess, there's so many conflicting things going on inside my head, nothing's making complete sense and my own guilt is eating me alive inside. Instead of joining the others I'm exhausting myself further, bringing yourself down isn't a healthy place to be, second guessing too many times isn't the thing to do right now.

" I know, you are right" I managed to get out.

He laughed for a moment and threw an arm around my shoulders and pulled me against his chest. I could hear his heartbeat, slightly elevated. Scheisse he needs me as much as I need him right now. I used to be a ' distraction' to help clear his mind as he would overthink his strategy too much.

I glanced back at John and smiled.

" what are the chances Jesse tries to convince him to wear a cowboy hat?"

" i would say that is a pretty high probability, after all Genji did give him a sword, so it's expected at this point for the cowboy to try a hat on him"

" he probably has already..." I sighed and in that moment Jesse plopped his hat onto John's head.

A laugh escaped my lips, and Jack's as well.

" how did he..." I asked outloud.

" guilty " said Lucio with hearty laugh. I frowned at him, half teasing half serious.

" hey! I swear that's the only bit of conversation I heard " he added with a smile.

John began wriggling to get down from Jesse's lap. The oversized hat hindering his vision as he tried to come over to us.

" reach for the sky!" He shouted out.

" JESSE MCCREE " I shouted out. Jesse slumped down in his seat.

" put em up!" Said John with a giggle.

" why..." i mumbled much to the chagrin of everyone else.

" calm down mama bear it's just toy story" said Lucio.

" what?" I replied confused.

" hold up... you've never seen toy story ?!" Asked Lucio with a shocked look on his face.

I shrugged, I had seen a lot of classic kid movies, but this one was over seventy years old... and doesn't sound like my type of movie.

" you've gotta be kiddin' me... " sighed Lucio.

" I'm surprised I'm pretty sure Jesse grew up on that" said Jack. I glanced at him as his hand shook into more of a fist after a moment.

" how would you reckon that?" Asked Jesse turning in his chair.

While I think he knows who this 'mysterious soldier' is. I still think he's in a bit of denial or feels hurt that he wouldn't tell him.

" I thought it was obvious looking at you " said Jack trying to cover up, but even that sounded like something Jack would say. Luckily just having the new recruits and Genji , wouldn't really lead to any investigations. Jesse frowned and turned back to Lena, who was thankfully absorbed in her mission to get us to safety. Her face showed worry, an expression she rarely wore. Suddenly the lighthearted situation churned my stomach again to fear and regret. Jack was pushing Jesse's hat off John's head as John's laughter jarred the thoughts back to slightly happier. He picked up the hat and put it back onto his head.

John jumped onto my lap and I held him tightly, Jesse's hat smelled of cigars, so I gently nudged it off his head, he caught it and held it as he allowed me some snuggles. I still cannot grasp that we created another human, logically I can. But beyond that the fact that Jack and I have a beautiful son in this world is a wonder. If anything...

" moooommy, you are squishing me " whined John. I loosened my grip and patted his head.

" I'm sorry"

" it's fine!" He giggled again and began wiggling and reaching for Jack. Jack picked him up and held him in the air for a moment before setting him down.

John's face was slightly flushed as he asked me for another toy. Jack opened the bag that we packed for him, one of many. Naturally we forgot to put captain America in this one.

" but I waaaant him" whined John, his eyes watery.

" well he has work to do, he's making sure the other things are safe right now" comforted Jack. I looked at my boyfriend with a smile, as John calmed down.

" but I didn't give him his orders" Said John.

" ah, but I did, and besides no one orders captain America around" said Jack. " he does what is good for the people ".

John wriggled some more and looked in the bag, finally finding the stuffed dragon. Finally happy again John took off to show Genji who acted like it was real. The imagination and pretend play wasn't a huge thing when I grew up so I'm a bit new at all of this. Thankfully all of them know how to play, maybe I'm a boring mom.

" I know love, I'm just saying that..." Lena's panicked voice softly wavering.

Jack squeezed my hand and ran off to the front to find out what was going on. John was loudly laughing as Genji lunged the dragon at him, but my eyes were drawn back to Jack. Despite the mask I could see the worry in his forehead crease.

Lucio was joining in the game, everyone back here blissfully unaware. I could hear Lena and Jack's hushed arguing, I want to go up and investigate, but I don't want to alarm the rest of them. The stomach cramps started up again, chewing on my lip I tried to remain focused on the happy parts of what is currently unfolding.

Jesse came back to join us as Jack took over his chair. Jesse eased into the seat next to me.

" what's going on?" I softly hissed, barely above a whisper.

" nothin' good, but they're workin' on it" he mumbled back, noticing his hat on the table he picked it up and adjusted it onto his head.

I nodded and glanced back at Jack's rigid posture, his worry was in full gear. Hanzo glanced over, his ability to read me was bothersome. I gave him a half smile and he nodded returning to John and Genji.

Hana and Lucio listening to music and relaxing, this could have been a normal flight. A simple change of location, taking our son out. Anything... but it's not and I can feel it.

" you can't just call our ange and John yours. You cannot say that you are looking out for your family. We are her family!" Hissed Lena "and I think we have more concern for her safety than you!" You could see the fire in her eyes. Jesse and I were closer so hopefully John didn't... wailing. My son is now wailing as he ran over to me shaking with tears. How the hell did he hear that?

" shiiit" barked Jesse

Lena's face fell, and I held John to my chest, holding him tightly and kissing his head.

" what's wrong darling?" I cooed.

" we are a family " he choked out between sobs.

" of course we are" I said rubbing his back as he cried some more.

" I... I didn't mean.." started Lena but I shot her a look and she frowned while listening into her communicator. Jack's brow was creased in anger but whatever is happening is more important. This is easily explained to John, he's just emotional right now which is normal.

Lucio peeled off his head phones and came over.

" hey buddy what's wrong?" He asked gently. John buried his face further in my chest.

"Oh I see how it is! I'm not hearing that noise! " said Lucio. I supposed Genji told him, and truly if anyone can make someone smile it's Lucio.

" well, just so you know... I am playing some Starcraft with Hana... but it's no fun without you and Genji" said Lucio emphasizing the inclusion.

John sniffles and pulls his head up.

"Really?" He sniffled.

"Aw man, of course of course!" Lucio's tone full of energy as usual holding out his hand. I gave John a squeeze and he took Lucio's hand and walked over with him. I stretched my arms and stood up, I need to find out what the hell is going on, I want to scream at Lena but she's probably freaked out and not thinking. My nails dug into my palms as I approached Lena and Jack. I carefully leaned on Jack's seat. His posture relaxed slightly as I touched his tensed up shoulders.

"sollte ich besorgt sein?" ( should I be worried) I softly questioned.

He sighed and his head turned over at Lena for a moment.

" alles wird gut " ( everything will be fine) he replied after a moment. His hand reached up to hold mine for a moment, the gentle squeeze helped a bit. I gave him a quick kiss on his forehead before returning to my seat.

John was still playing and looked much happier, I smiled at him before glancing at McCree. He looked agitated and avoided looking at me.

I hate this, I hate being kept out of things, this would happen a lot back in the day. Jack would try to protect me from hearing a lot of things, but would always tell me when things got worse or whenever I would find out through other channels.

" well! Bollocks I don't know wot to say! I-" started Lena shouting again.

" we will switch it up, and switch to channel three now, more will be said once that's completed " barked Jack.

Lena pulled off her headset and glared for a moment.

" so what's the plan then?" She grumbled.

" darlin' don't go getting your-"started Jesse

" I don't have time for your-"

" but darlin' I have the time... well it's looks like it is-" said McCree with a dramatic pause.

Lena's frown turned to a giggle for moment.

The loud gaming corner was luckily distracted during all of this, unlike during her last outburst.

" so what's the big plan then... lets hear it" said Lena.

" we have two options, we can stick with the other ship and risk those who are following them to see us, or we can go a completely different way. Splitting up is not preferred but due to our team not exactly being ready for a attack especially with John here. But that's also an issue if we get targeted" said Jack.

I nodded slowly, all my fears are valid now.

" well. Regardless we are at risk so why don't we stick with the others" said Jesse after a moment of silence, even the others had quieted down. Hopefully not enough for them to listen in.

" ange?" Asked Lena.

I pursed my lips, trying to search for a good response but strategy isn't my forte, that was always Jack's thing.

" I trust whatever you believe is the best choice" I answered.

Quiet again, hundreds of possible situations and outcomes. Deciding which is the best is fifty fifty.

" I'm not exactly happy about this. But splitting might be the best option. They hang back we go forward. That kinda deal... we haven't been spotted yet. Just them... maybe" said Lena. A grunt was heard behind us as Hanzo stood with a serious expression.

He motioned for Genji to join in.

Jack quickly reexplained the situation, Hanzo's face was stern as he listened then carefully chose his words.

" if they have been spotted we must split up. They are more than capable of fending people off. ".

" and I stand with my brothers decision, we can defend ourselves if need be" Genji said gently.

" right, so. Final decision?" Asked Lena.

" split up, switching to the other channel to inform. Then we will switch to another just to have an emergency system set up, however Athena will be shut down on our side" said Jack.

" aye aye " Lena chirped. Hanzo and Genji returned to their seats while McCree and I lingered for a moment longer, I gave Jack another light kiss to the forehead before returning to my seat, as Jesse followed ensuite.

" sorry bout earlier" said Jesse.

" you didn't do anything " I replied.

" I know, but you know how she can get" he mumbled. I smiled to myself, of course we know how Lena can be. Spunky, vivacious and always speaking her mind. It's not her fault that sometimes her emotions take hold, it's just terrible it happened in front of John. I felt my stomach surge in pain again, just calm down Angela. Everything is being taken care of, nothing bad will happen.

I felt John jump into my lap, wrapping my arms around him and swaying from side to side.

" I love you " I whispered into his golden hair.

" I love you too mommy " he said turning up to push my cheeks.

" don't be sad" he said as he moved his hands to make me smile, which made me smile for real. He really is perfection. I could hear Jack talking in the distance on comms, then instructing Lena on the route to be taken.

" I'm tired " sighed John as he snuggled into my arms further. Burying his face into my neck.

" you can rest darling" I softly spoke.

" but I don't want to miss anything" he said sleepily.

" you won't " I patted his back gently, before feeling his body succumb to sleep.

The past few hours had been stressful and draining, but seeing the sun setting and the orange glow washing into the orca was beautiful. I shifted John into a more comfortable position.

" mighty fine kid you have there" said Jesse with a grin. I smiled at him and softly said " thank you".

John stirred in his sleep, his hand wrapped in a loose strand of my hair.

I know he's said it before but I appreciate every-time someone says how wonderful he is.

" just the other day I was thinkin' how smart he is for his age" said Jesse.

" I know" I replied with a smile.

" he does have two parents who have their heads screwed on the right way" he added. I nodded then looked at him for a moment. Fuck, oh well it's something we figured he picked up on. Jesse being originally part of blackwatch but Jack mostly trained him whenever Reyes couldn't break through. Jack had a more teachable approach while Reyes got easily frustrated. They would joke around a lot, Jack constantly picking on his cowboy getup and it was all meant in fun, but when he got injured while on the field with me he wanted out. Jack reassigned him to overwatch and Reyes was livid about that. But it was also Reyes who got him injured and put us both in a horrible situation that we didn't think we would get out of alive.

John stirred in my arms and whined softly again. I don't need to be thinking about the past, right now I should be focused on safety.

Jack and Lena were arguing in hushed voices, I can barely make out what it's about now.

How long have we been flying? Hours... it feels like days.

" I want daddy" whined John now fully awake and wiggling in my arms.

" he's busy right now my darling" I said into his blonde locks.

" but I can help" he argued.

" yes but not right now" I soothed gently rocking him from side to side, my feet rising and lowering as I moved. His little arms gripping me tightly as he whined some more.

" everything is fine my love" I comforted, while glancing up at Jack. His posture was tense and Lena was just as anxious, her usually smiling face was twisted with worry. Genji walked over and handed me John's dragon, I grabbed it with my free hand and held it in John's field of vision.

He giggled and reached for it, before grabbing it from my hands and snuggling it against himself and into me. I could feel my eyes wanting to close, we had such a long day.

" hey loves. Hang on" shouted Lena. I gripped John tightly as we turned. The sky was dark, flying in total cover of the night. John's fingers dug into my neck as I softly reassured him. Jesse leaned in closer to us and pried him off of me while gently bouncing and distracting him. This doesn't feel like we are escaping from danger, more of flight maneuvers to remain undetected. Lena didn't look worried more amused than anything as she spoke with Jack and focused on flying. The sounds of the engine began to do a different rumbling noise probably the decrease as we went down. Does this mean we are landing now? Lena's expression changed to sheer joy as she concentrated.

" alright where now?!" She asked excitedly, Jack leaned over and spoke softly pointing through the darkness.

John's little face was full of glee as he played with Jesse. Where the hell are we?

The sounds of the orca landing caused a quiet hush to happen, the doors opened and the darkness was surrounding us as we exited.

" welcome to necropolis" said Jack turning to us.

 **A/N: I wanted to thank everyone who reads this. I'm also grateful for everyone who messages or reviews it truly helps. Sorry about my note sounding off, i'm just exhausted.**


	47. Chapter 47

**A/N: Quick note! i re-wrote chapter four of this fic, it's not important to read it, as it changes nothing, just thought i would throw that out there. Also this one is long!**

" Necropolis?" Grunted Jesse looking up at Jack.

Digging in the corners of my mind... doesn't that mean city of the dead?

" I know, before anyone gets anxious this is a secure hideout that has been a sanctuary to Ana and myself at one point. The walls are thick enough to prevent any form of hacking unless inside. Even right here we are protected" Jack started to say.

" but, unless it's reinforced then it can be hacked into" said Hana.

" it's true, but it's so far out and we are currently deep in the underground catacombs, it's safe believe me " said Jack reassuringly.

Truly I just want a bed and to sleep right now.

" it will be a bit cramped, so I apologize for that in advance, but if you follow me I can show you the rooms and arrangements can be figured out from there" Jack stated while Lena opened the doors. A cool breeze from the caves rushed through.

" and the others haven't arrived yet so we get first dibs!" Said Lena excitedly. John ran up to Jack and reached for him to be picked up. Jack bent down to allow John to grip his neck and latch onto him.

" however two rooms are already claimed, but don't worry they aren't the best anyways" said Jack.

Oh this will be weird, staying in your supposed dead boyfriends room, with him alive and... well it could be stranger. The entire layout was so dark, Hana had her phone lighting the way with a bright pink light.

" sorry the power needs to be reactivated in the research room. Hang back for a few I'll be back, Genji would you join me?" he said as he handed John to me.

" of course" replied Genji. I leaned my back against the walls holding John.

The two took off in the dark with their visors providing light in the distance. How large is this?

" this place is sooo spooky I wish I could stream this for my fans" squeaked Hana.

Lucio began making ghostly noises and John started whining.

" oh hey buddy I'm sorry! I'm sorry I was just... I messed up " Lucio quickly apologized.

" see darling he was just trying to make a joke " I cooed softly.

" it wasn't very funny" said John.

" I know, I'm sorry" Lucio looked so upset with himself but Hana slapped a hand on his shoulder and squeezed him into a hug, he jumped from the surprise and let out a yelp. John burst into laughter, his full body shaking with giggles as his soft hair tickled my neck.

" serves you right" said Jesse with a grin.

" yeah that'll teach em!" Said Lena, she stretched and glanced around.

Hanzo was standing in the shadows, out of our little group. He wasn't a show your emotions person, but something about his posture and where he was was all I needed.

" Hanzo, could you come over here for a moment? " I asked. He looked over at me and nodded. Once he was standing in front of me with a still unreadable expression I asked if he would hold John for a minute.

" I will" he replied shifting uncomfortably and holding out his arms, I gently placed John into them, they both looked awkward, Hanzo practically holding John as far away from himself as possible and John looking displeased at the situation.

Hana glanced over and frowned slightly, " hey grumpy, you hold a kid like this" she said mimicking the cradled pose. Hanzo arched a brow and attempted to hold John closer, but he had other ideas to squirm.

Well... they should be fine for a few minutes. I walked back to the orca and surveyed the surroundings better, I could still view the group and hadn't strayed too far, I just wanted to grab my medical bag in case, the small one I used to carry a long long time ago, just the necessities, the sand making little crunching noises under my feet as I returned. Hanzo quickly pushing John back into my arms. I could see red and green visor lights glowing as Genji and Jack made their way back to us.

The green lighting the way on the ceiling as Genji's climbing showed part of how huge this area was. It seems like a garage almost, light a vast storage area. He dropped down in front of us with Jack close behind on the ground.

" all cleared" said Genji with a relived tone.

Jack rejoined and scooped John into his arms, despite John's initial excitement you could see sleep etched onto his little face.

I hope the others are okay, asking will only remind those who are trying to remain in calmer spirits to worry. As we walked to the far corner of the large garage area we came to a small door with a large rock rolled to the side, I guess extra security? A long hallway was in front of us, slowly moving along, it feels so cramped. I hugged my arms to my chest wishing I had John to hold onto but his little face peering around at everything with wide eyes. At the end of the hallway was a wider hallway with doors leading to other areas, Jack began pointing at the open rooms and asking for people to chose.

" we have mats and cots laying around as well as some old overwatch bunks and things" said Jack.

" the best solution is probably two to each room, but it's up to everyone. We have about twelve rooms total in here. But some need to stay closed for now. The open doors are free for the picking however. Limited food supplies are here, a run will probably need to be made in a week or so, this place wasn't meant to hold so many, but make sure to leave room for the others but the plan since they- uh. Well how Winston explained overwatch worked they already know the deal, so one of the closed doors will be taken. But leave two extra please" said Jack with a tired sigh.

" not that I'm shaking in my boots bout this... but how secure is this? Do we need watches or?" Asked Jesse.

" it's secure, there's watchpoints in here especially for snipers, but there's a lot of security back up that we previously set up, however watches will probably be made later" said Jack.

Hana and Lena were racing around looking at rooms and trying to pick the perfect one.

" do I get to pick the room?" Asked John sleepily.

" we already have one, but I'd like to make sure that things are a bit more settled before we go there" said Jack.

John whined and looked over Jack's shoulder at me. He was about to get cranky, please no...

I walked up and ran a hand through John's hair softly whispering to him while he made annoyed grunting noises with slight kicking.

" darling I can hold him for a bit or take him to the room" I said softly. Jack absently handed John to me, and John started sobbing, as Jack went off to help with the room arrangements.

I gently rocked him in my arms, making soft shhh noises and stroking his hair. Lucio skated up to us and began making faces but John wouldn't calm down. Think, how did Ana deal with these kinds of things?

" darling, what is wrong?" I asked trying to pull his mind to being constructive.

He sniffles and pulls my hair slightly.

" we don't pull Mommy's hair sweetheart, what's wrong?" I coaxed again.

" I want my daaad" he cried.

" he has to get things ready for us mein love, then we can get some sleep" I said gently bouncing him on my hip.

He sobbed for a bit longer, worse whenever Jack was visible, but he does need to learn that he cannot get his way all the time. That sounds horrible, but being a parent isn't easy. There it is again, the painful ache in my heart and stomach. I loved my parents so much, I should have given them more slack, they tried, I'm trying. What would they think of me now? John yanked my hair again.

" ouch! We don't pull hair!" I scolded, causing more tears. I gently set him on the ground for a moment and he tried making a run for Jack but Jesse stopped him in his tracks.

" hold it right there" said Jesse firmly, his posture was ready for a gun fight and John completely froze. I snuck up behind him and scooped him back up.

" thank you Jesse" I said with an exhausted smile. He nodded and tipped his hat at me. I could now focus on the fact that everyone had their rooms, Jesse and Lena in one, Hanzo and Genji in another and Hana and Lucio would be staying together. Which shouldn't bring such a smile to my face but it does, it's good to see your friends happy. Where the hell is Jack? I sighed and John began sniffling again, I just rocked him gently feeling him slowly fall asleep in my arms when Jack emerged from the dark.

" sorry angel" he whispered, I gently placed John back into his arms, he hardly moved in the exchange. Jack led the way to a room, a very light scent of hops and pulse ammunition. There was a small bed in the corner and another small bed set up. Jack carefully placed John into one and led me to the other as he closed the door.

" get some rest angel" he whispered after unclicking the faceplate on his mask. He placed it on a small desk, walking over to me and stroking my cheek.

" aren't you going too?" I asked leaning into his touch.

" I should wait til I hear from the others" he grunted.

My blood went cold and I felt my weak smile fade.

" you haven't heard from them?" I gasped softly

" not since before we arrived but I messaged Winston that we arrived" he replied motioning to the bed. I sat down reluctantly but he joined me, sitting up, the bed was hardly room for two but I can curl up and fit right into his strong arms. Barely taking up room.

" please angel get some rest" he whispered bumping his forehead into mine. I sighed, sleep does sound amazing, but I hate when he has to take over the night watch. Although we did pass many hours of night watching side by side.

" I can stay up with you" I replied nuzzling his neck.

" I was going to check the system in Ana's workshop but I don't want to leave John alone" he said.

" well, I guess I will stay here or I can ask Genji" I answered.

He grunted for a moment and ran his hands through his hair anxiously.

" John's already asleep and I'd rather not have Genji in here" said Jack.

" what?"

" while I know people know who I am and I've scrubbed this place pretty well before leaving I just don't feel comfortable with it, I can't explain it logically, I'm just the way I am now " sighed Jack, his eyes looked so full of remorse. I pressed my lips to his for a quick kiss but he pulled me in for a longer more passionate kiss. He pulled away and kissed my forehead.

" I'm so glad you are here" he sighed, his eyes tightly shut. Something was deeply bothering him, sure he hasn't revealed himself to the rest of the team, and I'm not sure how many have actually figured it out. I truly cannot imagine being him, I never could. He had so much stress every day and night, nonstop. People constantly relying on him, and he would blame himself for everything that went wrong, it was never his fault. Nobody could see the future, which he also blamed himself for. He blamed himself for not being able to figure out the way the mind works and now he's feeling overwhelming guilt I guess.

My hands rested on his shoulders, carefully massaging them with my fingertips.

" I'm also going to drag in a few things we packed, do you need anything ?" He asked his voice was strained and he grunted as I worked on his neck, every muscle was so tight.

" I'm fine" I responded. He nodded and pulled my hands away, holding them for a moment before kissing me again.

" please darling , get sleep and I'll be back before you know it " he said as he stood up. I nodded and laid down pulling my phone out and laying it near my head.

" you get me if you need me" I ordered

He weakly smiled and left the room after securing his mask. John stirred in his bed, part of me wants to snuggle with him, but he's doing so well sleeping alone that I cannot ruin it. All those years with Meera probably had him sleeping alone then too... but now with two parents I would assume his dependency has increased.

My knees pulled into my chest as I laid down on the bed, the bed wasn't very comfortable but I had dealt with worse. The slight smell of Jack on the pillow, musky and wonderful. He probably grabbed extra sheets for the others, This set up isn't bad. I guess this is where he was on and off while also following me and being in dorado. Did he ever rest? Is his need to 'pay ' for whatever mistakes he thinks he made running him into the ground more than before. A sharp pain hit my stomach again, I reached for my phone. I shouldn't be feeling pain, only when injured and even then it's temporary, another jolt of pain sent my phone flying next to the wall, wedged between the bed. Pulling my phone back into my hands as something cut me, instinctively bringing my finger to my mouth as the copper taste filled it. My free hand found the light app as I peered in the area, a knife ... typical Jack, pulling it out and storing it into my med bag. The movement startled John as he sat straight up.

" momma?"

" ja?"

" can I sleep with you?" His little voice asked.

" of course just let me check the bed first"

" for monsters?"

" no mein love, your dad is an interesting fellow" I replied with a slight chuckle. Pulling the bed up from the ratty frame I noticed a piece of paper sticking out and another knife.

I carefully hid the knife from John's prying eyes, and picked up the paper, flipping it over and looking, it was written in Arabic, most of the languages I could read but not this and it's not my business. I tucked it into my medical bag and turned to my son.

" all clear my darling" I said as I held out my arms, he jumped into them knocking me back onto the bed. He curled against me and I held him tightly in my arms. He almost immediately fell asleep again, his light snoring comforting me.

I don't want to fall asleep without knowing if everyone is safe... and I really hate falling asleep without Jack. Having him back in my life is being whole again, not that I wouldn't be whole with just John, but... I just. I can't imagine being without him anymore. I don't want to leave his side ever again, maybe that's being naive.

It's so quiet here, everyone was exhausted but not a sound besides John, I gently stroked his hair and he swatted my hand in his sleep. Flipping onto my back and staring at the ceiling. I wonder how many nights he stayed here looking at this exact ceiling and making the decision to not tell me. To silently follow me and guard me, without saying a word or being noticed. The slight twinge of anger pulsed through me, quickly replaced by grief. He was sick, he did what he thought was best and he's trying so hard. It mustn't be easy to be here, it must have been two hours since he left us by now. The time on my phone confirmed it, hopefully that means something is being figured out. I yawned and gently picked up John to place him into his own bed, he thankfully didn't wake up during it. I hate doing that, and I do want him to snuggle with but... I'm fighting the same internal struggle with myself. Returning to the bed and getting adjusted to it being empty again when the door flew open.

" is everyone-" I started.

But he just walked over to me and touched my shoulder. His hand was trembling against me.

Fear gripped the core of me, not again we just got here we cannot pack up again.

" you are here" said Jack.

" yes.. but I ..." I started but he removed the mask, his eyes betraying mixing pool of emotions. His gloves thrown off as he gently stroked my cheek.

" Jack... is everyone okay?" I asked gently but my voice was quivering.

As if his trance was broken he looked at me with confusion for a moment.

He scooped me into his arms and held me against his chest.

" I'm so sorry" he repeated.

" jack! What happened?!" My heart was racing and everything in my body felt on edge. The tightening in my stomach to the chills running over my skin.

" nothing darling, I haven't heard from them. I just... I started thinking and that led to one thought which led to another and..." he said still shaking or was I shaking? Mein gotte...

" I'm so sorry jack " I whispered as I reached for my medical bag and pulled out his medication.

He quickly slid out of his jacket and allowed the injection to happen, as I quickly replaced the cap and put it into a little locked box I looked up at him. His eyes were closed, and I gently stroked his face.

" I feel so ashamed" he muttered.

" of what?"

" breaking down" his eyes squeezed as if to block it out. My hands placed upon his face as I looked into his closed eyes.

" Jack, everyone has a breaking moment or a breaking point. It's okay, you've had a large gap between these instances. It's normal, you've made so many steps forward it's okay to fall back a little" I whispered and pressed my forehead to his. His hands reached up for mine, holding them tightly in his grip as his breathing relaxed. Just sitting in absolute silence besides John's little snores.

" I can't believe you are here" he said his voice cracking the silence.

" and I can't believe you are here" I softly replied with a slight smile. Out of all the people to be shocked about this I cannot help but think it should have been me. I hope my slight poke won't upset him, but his lips crashing into mine is a good sign. It was so gentle and loving, his hands still firmly holding mine when a little voice went " ew". Our kiss turned into laughter as we turned to John.

" I'm sorry darling " I stumbled over my words, it was just a simple kiss afterall.

" mommy put me back into my bed, I was... I was sleeping with her because she was sad" said John sleepily.

" well that was good of you, but I'm sure she had her reasons " said Jack.

John shrugged looking at us before flipping on his bed and curling back up.

" you'll keep mommy safe now?" Asked John.

" of course, thank you for watching her" said Jack.

John yawned and nodded as his eyes began to close. There's a bit of relief whenever your son actually wants to sleep when you do, instead of running around and screaming, then again he isn't that type of kid either.

" so there is no news?" I whispered into Jack's ear.

" none, but I'm sure they are fine, probably took the long way around, silence is better in this case" he replied softly.

I nodded and snuggled into his shoulder, he placed a kiss on my forehead before putting his mask back on.

" just in case" he said. I nodded again, drinking in the comforting leather smell and nodding off while his arms held me in a comforting and secure position.

A few hours later a tight shoulder squeeze woke me up.

" I heard something" he whispered " but don't worry, just stay quiet til I come back" he added.

When he opened the door I could see Genji standing near the door.

" what?" Started Jack, our door resting against his back propped open.

" I'm sorry, I wanted to be useful"

I offered a thankful smile his way and he slightly tipped his head in recognition.

" okay, thank you, did you just make the noise above us? Or was that something else"

" I'm afraid it was not me" said Genji.

" you stay here, I'm going to check it out" said Jack, he motioned for Genji to enter the room.

Genji nodded and with that Jack took off, the door closing behind him as Genji awkwardly stood in the room. John was still asleep thankfully, so Genji leaned towards the door more, probably enhancing his hearing as he stood motionless.

It's hard to not make a sound when your heart is racing, it's probably just the rest of them. I'm hoping it's just the rest of them... it's going to be them. Some sand fell from the ceiling, a light sprinkling nothing more, only noticeable due to the silence.

The light illuminating from Genji's plate blinked for a moment, a rare occurrence but it happens from time to time. I just want them back and for this nightmare to be over. When can we go back? Without a lab how will I work on helping John... I pulled my knees to my chest, resting my head onto them and frowning.

Genji lifted his face plate for a moment and smiled.

" I believe they are back" he whispered softly as he pulled his shurikens back into his covering.

Relief washed over my face and he smiled again at me, we all had a long day...

" I'm certain of it, unless you know of any one else who talks like Torbjorn " he said slightly laughing at himself. As weird as it sounds seeing Genji smile is a joy that is rarely witnessed.

" however I will stay until he is back in the room, which I hope for your sake is soon"

" thank you Genji"

" no, thank you, it is good to see you like this again, well not like this, but... not that it's a problem seeing you like this. But-" he stammered and I had to stop him from flustering himself.

" I could say the same about you, my friend " I said gently.

He nodded and messed with his face plate, personally it's easier to read him when it's open but if he wants it closed that is his choice.

I cannot help but think something is bothering him or causing this level of stress, beyond the current situation.

" Genji... is something wrong?"I blurted out. His face face went blank for a moment, just standing and listening.

" do not worry about me, I can handle it. " responded Genji as he turned back to concentrating on the sounds in the distance.

" but you usually want me to get out my thoughts but not yourself?" I inquired, glancing over at John hoping he would stay asleep.

" the difference is, yours are harmful

Emotions, and self doubt. Mine are a different sort that can be managed by myself " he replied, his face twitched for a moment.

" they should be walking down the hall any moment now" said Genji, footsteps could be heard getting closer. The door cracked open and Jack popped in, Genji darted to the side to avoid being caught in the door.

" long story, but everyone is safe" said Jack.

" we are just getting everyone settled then I'll be back, Genji... thank you " said Jack. Genji nodded his head slowly and closed his faceplate before fleeing from the room.

" is he okay? " asked Jack.

" I'm just his doctor" I shrugged. But then added " he said he can handle it, so I'm not going to push until there is more of a reason to push".

Jack tilted his head for a moment before sighing " okay then, I'll be back very soon , I just want to make sure things are settled, then Hanzo agreed to be on watch" he stated while leaving again.

A frustrated grunt left my lips as I curled into the pillow. There were years like this, hardly any sleep and doing night watches. Long surgeries, long hours, patient after patient. But I'm so exhausted, I'm so out of practice now. On top of everything else being personally targeted is taking its toll, I have my son back now and my love, and things should be looking up. Hell that should be all I need to keep going. Sometimes going is the hardest part, wanting to wake up wanting to carry on. I don't know how he did it all, narrowly escaping death, going into hiding doing his vigilante work and following me. My hands rubbed my temples slowly. I need to actually sleep. The door slowly opened and closed tightly. Jack's tired sigh as he sat on the edge of the bed, silently removing his mask and boots. The slight creak of his jacket coming off, I turned to face him and in the soft glow of my phones light I could see a weary smile.

" I didn't think you would still be awake" he murmured.

" I couldn't sleep" I sighed out as I watched him lay down next to me. His hands gently stroked my face.

" now we can sleep" he whispered, then placed a kiss on my nose. Finally I can sleep now.

John hopping up and down and telling us to wake up echoed in the room.

" my darling, it's not time yet" I mumbled.

He kept jumping around.

" John, come here" I ordered with a soft hiss, Jack's eyes had flickered open for a moment to assess the situation before grunting and rolling on his side.

" darling... please, come here" I pleaded. John grumbled under his breath and joined us. His wiggling and inability to lie still kept waking me. Jack was sleeping completely undisturbed by the entire situation. Fucking soldiers, know what to sleep through and what to be awake and alert for. Jack then turned over, sat up for a moment blinking his eyes awake, scooped up John and placed him on his side of the bed.

" John, let your mother sleep" grumbled Jack with his heavy morning voice.

John sighed and the bed was silent, I curled into Jack's back and kissed his neck before falling back asleep.

••••

A tender kiss to my forehead woke me from sleep.

" darling, we need to get up now" he soothingly said as he pushed some stray hairs out of my face.

I slowly sat up and glanced around the room.

" where's John? " I asked.

" he's with Jesse, I went out to check on things and he asked about John"

I nodded and rested my head on his chest.

" what's happening ?" I groggily stated.

" we are trying to figure that out, I figured you might like to be included in the discussion " said Jack.

" ich verstehe" ( I understand).

A yawn escaped and Jack rubbed my back and held me.

" I'm going to say this again because I feel horrible about the situation, but I'm sorry darling" his hands trailed down my spine.

" it was bound to happen"

" correct, we have some decent ideas but you'll hear about them soon enough" said Jack.

" are the bags inside? I would love to change"

" I figured " said Jack as he handed me a clothing bag. Digging through it a landed on yoga pants and a tank, I quickly slid into them much to Jack's dismay. I brushed my hair quickly and pulled it into a high ponytail, quickly stealing a kiss from Jack who was more than happy to oblige as his hand gently stroked my neck.

" we should probably rejoin the group" he whispered between kisses.

I slid my hands around his neck and he lifted me up, my legs wrapping around his waist, continuing the kiss.

" I know" I replied as my eyelashes brushed his cheek.

He bent down to grab his mask, kissing me again before putting it on while still holding me up.

" I'm just going to carry you there" he teased.

" ja? " I replied slightly laughing.

" na sicher" ( of course) he responded as he kicked open the door with his foot and carried me out of it, pulling the door shut behind him. Sometimes I forget how strong he is, and that this is nothing to him. He could basically carry me around all day no problem, which he mostly did whenever we would take time off together. This is a much needed joy in such a stressful time.

" alright I'm setting you down. I don't think it would be proper to carry you into the room" said Jack.

" oh fine" i said as he gently set my feet on the ground. He knocked on the door and Ana opened it, the room was bare except for a few chairs holding Reinhardt, Torbjorn , an empty spot where Ana was. Winston was sitting on the floor and looking simply exhausted.

Ana threw her arms around me and gave me a hug. Unexpected but appreciated.

" everyone, I know the past forty eight hours have been tense... and I know that it's even harder now without more options out there for us. It's easier to be a terrorist organization than the disbanded organization deemed to be criminal" said Winston pausing to chuckle for a moment.

" I am sorry this happened, I should have had more security set up, especially with Sombra out there. I made mistakes and I hold nothing against whoever decides to leave... but I wanted to talk to all of you first. Because I know the newer recruits will be anxious, unfortunately we may just need to send them away before it gets more Intense but I needed your thoughts on that matter and on whether you are staying or not" he looked exhausted, and completely out of sorts.

" you know I'm not going anywhere " Ana's voice had an inspiring strength. Her weary eye glanced around the room, her eyes contact with Reinhardt was endearing.

" and I will never give up or surrender. I know I am well into my retiring years, but I cannot turn my back. There is too much to be done" boomed Reinhardt.

" well yeh know my answer... " said Torbjorn, of course we did.

I want out, I want a life again but I know it's not possible while they are still out there.

" I don't think I have a choice" I said softly.

" we would keep you safe regardless " said Ana with no hesitation.

Jack remained silent, I wish he would join in or say anything. I hate feeling on the spot, however how is it humanly possibly to know what to do or say in this situation.

" we can be here for a few weeks, maybe. And pack up and move again. Only leaving to get supplies or if something escalates. I'll try to be more cautious when choosing where to deploy us" said Winston.

" a few weeks? Then what?" Asked Reinhardt, his large frame shifting uncomfortably.

" I don't know yet, I know Ana and seventy-six have back up plans in case " Winston answered.

" that are best not discussed just yet... we still are working on a sweep of this place, and proofing it from any EMP attacks" Ana replied giving him a stern look. Reinhardt sheepishly looked down and then anywhere he could to avoid eye contact.

I reached for Jack's hand, and he held it carefully, as if to try to keep distance to avoid my attempts at reading him through his mask.

" it's cramped here, but I think we can all learn to adjust even in the short term. We have of course Hana and Lucio who can freely walk in public if need be, but I don't want to risk them. " Winston said.

" well Lena is always a good backup, and Jesse can always join as well since those two have been seen publicly since the shut down" Ana cut in sharply.

" well lets deal with today, I'll keep an eye on the news and things, basically just take the day to relax and refresh" said Winston.

" but with watches" said Ana

" yes, I'll leave the scheduling up to you " said Winston. Ana nodded and drew up a chart as we sat in silence waiting.

" do we trust Hanzo enough to take a watch? Because in the 24 hours of a day I feel four hour shifts work, myself, soldier, Winston, Reinhardt, Fareeha has proven herself and not just because she is my daughter" she paused to allow a melodic laugh ring out. " but we could use Hanzo or Genji or both together to watch"

" I would only trust him with Genji" said Reinhardt.

Torbjorn nodded in agreement.

I arched my brow as they looked at me for an answer.

" I trust him with or without Genji " I said point blank.

" seventy six?" Asked Winston.

" Hanzo is a sniper, I believe he would be a good fit, divides up the watch more. But if you chose to have them both, I wouldn't be against it" he replied.

" together it is then" said Winston " now if there's anything else we need to discuss, please bring it forward now"

The room was silent, most of us probably wanted sleep, or to not have to think for a few minutes.

" alright I will put out the sheet for times to be watching at, I'll take the first and whomever can follow behind me" said Ana.

" I'll take the one after you" said Jack, as he said if he helped me up, holding my hand firmly in his grip.

" noted" said Ana.

We exited the room and walked back to ours. The darkened hallways looking ominous with the candles lighting the way, the lantern in our room casting a soft glow onto his mask. He removed the mask and slumped down to the bed motioning for me to join him. I curled into his shoulder, my head resting on his chest and listening to his steady heartbeat.

" what do you think?" Asked Jack.

" I think it's nice here..." I half lied.

" I mean about the lack of an actual plan for now?"

" I feel useless, I have practically no purpose here" i twisted my hands and bent my fingers.

" of course you do"

" what is that?"

" well, you are our doctor-"

" without a lab or medical bay"

" you have a small medical area in the orca" he corrected.

" yes, but that's nothing compared to an actual lab"

" you did just fine in the off years"

I sharply inhaled, and thought of a proper and non accusatory or self degrading comment.

" but I hardly did anything, I worked war zones"

" and how is that different from when you were with overwatch?"

" I had a lab, to further my studies on the human body and it's proper functioning. I eventually could apply more nanotechnology to others, you know this already though "

He brushed a stray hair off my cheek and rubbed my shoulder.

" Angela... you know how people feel about that"

" of course I do, people aren't fully for it, but I could have changed their minds. I changed surgery and how it's done and it's being used in the top hospitals... but for some reason pushing the nanotechnology just wasn't fully out there. And I feel I failed while overwatch was still active and the court broadcast probably dashed all hopes of that. So I guess this is what I am now" I heavily sighed and buried my face into his neck. Getting it all out and being honest with myself.

" right now the world is at war, everyone is scared and you know that you have uses. You know how powerful you are and what you can accomplish. So you take a break for a bit, that is usually when you have the most progress with constructing your thesis" he said, his chin rested on the top of my head.

" somehow I want to show myself that I made the correct decision"

" of course you do, but you don't need to prove that to anyone but yourself " he murmured.

He's right, as usual...

" what would you like to do today? I have four hours til my watch and Jesse must be worn out from John by now" said Jack.

" I don't know, what would you like to do?" I inquired , I truly haven't spent much down time with John, considering all the things that kept me busy in my lab.

I'm also not athletic, not that there is room to really play any type of tag or anything.

" eh, I guess we can just ask him then" replied Jack. Truly I want to enjoy time with my family... my family , a smile crept onto my mouth.

" but we can stay like this for a bit longer" his breathe tickled my hair and I leaned over kissing him and he pulled me onto his chest where I laid there just listening to his heartbeat as his arms encompassed my body.

" I love you so much " he said.

" and I love you so so much" I replied.

He kissed my forehead and smiled up at me.

" I guess we should go grab John yes?" I asked

" yes" he said as he sat up and picked me up settling me on my feet, and securing his mask in a fluid motion.

As he opened the door we spotted Jesse and John at the end of the hallway.

John noticed us and came running with Jesse chasing him.

John threw himself onto Jack who scooped him up. John waved his arms around laughing.

" can I borrow this one for a moment?" Asked Jesse pointing at Jack.

I nodded and Jack shrugged and handed John off to me.

" did you have fun with Jesse? " I asked him as I made my way back to the room.

" yes!" He said while holding onto me tightly. I opened the door and spun him around in my arms once we were inside. His laughing was music to my ears.

I set him down and he looked up at me expectantly.

" can we play?" He asked.

" what do you want to play?"

" uhmmm" he began digging through his bag of toys and pulled out some action figures.

" you can be him" he said as he handed me Thor.

" daddy will be captain America and I will be iron man"

" but don't you want to be captain ?"

" dad can do the voice"

I nodded and tried to stand the action figure onto the ground, it wasn't working due to the top heaviness between the hammer or something.

" come on Thor we need to save Spider-Man from the ... the... dragon!" He said as he positioned the dragon above Spider-Man.

" uh coming iron man" I replied.

John shook his head

" you have to do the voice!" He demanded.

" coming iron man!" I tried deepening my voice.

" nooo like this! " he said doing a Thor impression.

" I'm trying!" I replied attempting my manliest voice ever when the door opened and Jack just stood there laughing.

He quickly closed it and joined us, taking off his mask.

" mommy is a bad Thor " said John.

" aw well it's probably because she doesn't have a Thor throat" said Jack. The pun, that horrible pun. I blame Jesse McCree for bringing back the puns in him.

" I tried!"

Jack stroked my shoulder and tried to not burst into laughter.

" here, let your mom be captain, I'll be Thor" said Jack as we switched action figures.

" but dad... you are always the best at him"

" but have you given your mom a chance?"

" no but-" his little face scrunched up.

" exactly. No buts about it kid, everyone gets a fair chance "

John sighed and turned back to the Spider-Man and dragon situation.

I tried a captain voice and this time slightly succeeded.

The next few hours of playing went by with minor difficulties, mostly learning how to play, which is a weird concept in itself.

But now it was time for Jack to go do his watch of the place. Now I would be alone with our son, Jack managed I'm sure I can. He's just boundless energy and likes to pretend, and we just played for hours stretching the function of my imagination.

Somewhere along the way I must have lost it, because never really being one to play that much as a kid. I was doing more experiments from kits and things. Things that could actually do something... but I also didn't have a lot of kids to hang out with. Other military families let their kids stay with relatives when deployed. I didn't have that...

" Angela!" Said Jack

" what?"

" I was saying I need to go now, and that I love you" his words had a worried tone to them.

" I love you too" I replied forcing a smile on, he quickly kissed my lips, then secured his mask and was off.

I stared at my son, and he stared quizzically back.

" what do you want to do?" I asked.

He shrugged and looked at the mess we created.

" well we could play some more with these or we could read something"

" no more playing this til daddy is back" whined John.

" okay, but we should put some of it away" I said.

" do we have too?"

" yes, and while we do that you can think of something else for us to do" I said.

Ironically I'm not one to keep anything tidy or organized, however teaching your kid to not be like the worst parts of you is probably the right way to be. After we finished cleaning he walked over and grabbed his reading tablet

" you want me to read to you? " I asked.

" no, I want to read you a story"

" oh? Which one?"

His brow furrowed as he paged through the collection before stopping on some comics.

He opened up one on captain America and snuggled into me as he began to 'read' to me. Making up complex stories for each panel. He already knows his alphabet and how to count, I could teach him to read but English isn't my first language. Not that I lack fluency, I just don't want to mess up. I also don't want to break it to him that he's not actually reading.

John looked up at me and smiled, I smiled back and motioned for him to continue.

" I forgot where I stopped..." he whined.

" that's okay John,we can figure this out okay?"

" but mom..."

" yes?"

" I can't read" he admitted looking at me with those blue sorrowful eyes.

" that's okay. I didn't learn to read until I was... oh. Your dad didn't learn to read until he was..." oh scheisse. Make something up " five !"

" I'm almost five!" He chirped.

" yes you are almost five, you can start learning " I said.

" will you teach me?" He asked.

" I may not be the best but I can try "

Then again there are many games and applications for helping kids to read. So maybe that would be better.

I began looking for tools to help teach him but my mind became cloudy with thoughts of him never being able to live a normal life. When will this all be over? Will he ever be able to attend a school? Play with kids his own age again? Or will he just grow up in hiding...

" mommy "

" yes darling ?"

" I'm hungry" he whined flopping into my lap.

" shall we go find something to eat?"

" yes yes!" He cheered sitting up and grabbing at me.

I stood up and carefully picked him up, balancing him on my hip as we headed out of the room. We made our way to the small kitchen area and Lena looked up from shoveling food into her mouth.

" hey loves!" She giggled as she covered her mouth finishing her mouthful.

" what would you like to eat?" I asked John after we said hello to Lena.

" peanut butter!" Said John. I looked around and began making us sandwiches.

Thank goodness for something simple, the minute I turn on the stove I set off all kinds of alarms, so this makes me truly thankful. I put a plate in front of him as he sat next to Lena.

As we ate, John excitedly told Lena about his day. She responded with her usual cheerful attitude, and dug through her supplies for chocolate syrup to mix into the milk we had luckily brought with us.

John was thrilled about this and happily ate and drank.

Soon enough John had finished and wanted to get back to learning. I had no idea how he would want to go about this, or if he would be interested in education so this is a huge weight off my shoulders. Glancing at the time as we walked back, it's almost his bedtime.

We sat around working on the basics starting with Seuss, he was learning so quickly that it was a true marvel.

The door slowly opened and in walked Jack, amazing that he can always make my heart race. John ran over to him excitedly babbling on about his day, Jack's face showed absolute pride.

" it's almost time for bed" I warned them with a smile.

" can I read to you?" Asked John looking at Jack, who was absolutely beaming.

" of course " he said. Jack and John climbed onto the smaller bed that we had set up.

I wish I had something to photograph this moment with but I don't trust my phone. John curled up against Jack as he struggled ' reading'. He wasn't bad though, Jack would help him sound out words as John read, until he began to quickly fall asleep. We kissed him goodnight and returned to our corner of the room.

" did you want to go somewhere for a minute? You look stressed" said Jack as he stroked my back.

" please" I replied softly. He nodded and put his mask back on and led me out of the room. It's so quiet here. Luckily our room wouldn't be the first to be hit in an emergency so I don't feel guilty for leaving John for a bit. Jack pushed open the door to a room, well a small supply closet of sorts.

He placed his mask on the shelf and stared at me waiting.

" stop reading my thoughts" I mumbled.

" it's a talent of mine, what's wrong ?" He asked again.

" I fear I have nothing but guilt about everything"

He raised and brow and motioned for me to continue.

" with him growing and learning I just feel really guilty about everything... will he ever get to have friends or go to school or be able to play outside for hours without worry?" i folded my arms across my chest.

Jack was silent for a moment studying my face and waiting before saying " he's learning, he has friends and plenty of kids learn outside of classrooms "

" but you didn't. And I didn't "

" angel, i would hardly call your schooling actual school... since you just passed school at the age of what? six? Anyways. He's smart, he has friends and family and he is resourceful, he will be fine"

" but I'm worried, Jack"

" I know you are darling" he pulled me into a hug and rested his chin on my head.

" it's going to be okay, we just need them to make a move. It's... him ange. I spent so much time with him that I know how he works. He's erratic, he misses steps and he is sloppy. We will figure out how to defeat him, and everything will be fine" he rubbed my arms as he spoke. Soothing me into a better mental state but I know he's just trying to make me feel better, which is appreciated.

" now, let's get to bed, I could use some decent sleep" his voice did sound exhausted still. Probably coming up with a million plans, and actually doing things.

His hand ran along my neck as he tipped my head upwards for a kiss before heading back into the room to sleep.

 **A/N: Sorry about how long this one was, I honestly just needed to step away from it and post it as-is. I just had a lot to cover and there wasn't a decent stopping point between this and what i'm slowly working on next. Once again! i re-wrote chapter four (the one about their first date) it has been bothering me for the longest time, so i feel slightly better.**

 **I also want to thank all of you who read this, comment and write to me. I would have found a way to end this fic sooner if it wasn't for all of your words. I'm going to be honest, i've been in a weird mental space lately, and i hope it didn't overly destroy this update, if it did PLEASE go back and read chapter four, because i'm slightly happy about it, which isn't something i can say about like... any of this. Bleh. Bad mental space= bad authors note. Just know that my inbox is ALWAYS open if you feel the need to vent/ chat about overwatch or just say hey. I might be down, but making others happy helps. So i hope this chapter is good enough. Have a lovely day or night!**


	48. Chapter 48

The next few days went by with nothing new on our old base showing up. Everyone was mostly keeping to themselves, interacting when necessary but the air was feeling stale, and nerves began to fray in the cramped spaces.

As Jack went up again for a watch and I was laying in bed watching a movie with John, his half asleep body shaken awake with giggling at the movie. I gently ran my hand through his hair, pushing the shaggy bits out of his face.

Knocking on the door made him sit up right away.

" come in" I responded nonchalantly, In walked Lena with snacks in hand.

"Need company loves? Jesse is hanging out with seventy- six on the watch" she sighed.

" yes!" Squeaked John

" darling make room for Lena " I said as I scooted closer to the wall, Lena curled into my shoulder and John scrambled back onto me. His head under my chin and Lena resting her head on my shoulder.

" what are we watching?" She asked.

" toy story" said John

" figured I might as well watch it " I added. Lena nodded and sighed softly again.

" what's wrong?" I mouthed.

She gestured " everything" and I just nodded. She's usually so excitable, and somewhere I'm trying to blame myself.

Once the movie was over, I had two people sleeping on me. I struggled to reach my phone to check the time. His shift should be over soon, I wanted to send a picture but I cannot. Sighing I messaged him to be quiet when entering the room because everyone is asleep.

'Everyone?' He responded.

' L. Is in here and she fell asleep on me'

' J. Said she wakes up angry' he replied

' I've slept with her before, that's why I'm warning you to be quiet when you come back' i messaged quickly.

' he says he's going to wake her up and run off'

' I say I'll replace his arm with a spatula '

' he doesn't believe you'

' make him believe'

' alright, I should get back to it, I don't trust his eyes alone '

I smiled as I closed my phone and curled into my son and friend. Just another hour... it's nice that Jesse is keeping him company.

" daaaaddy!" Shrieked John, jolting me awake and Lena zipped off around the room barely making herself visible.

Jack rubbed his hands on his temples, Lena darted out of the room and John lept at Jack.

" hey kid" said Jack as he tousled John's hair with one hand and removed his mask with the other.

" hey dude" he responded.

" how was it?" I asked sitting on my legs on the bed while looking up at him for a kiss, which he obliged with a quick peck.

" gross" mumbled John.

" it's not gross darling" I said

John puffed out his cheeks and blew out air, followed by a ton of giggling.

" it was good, clear skies, and Jesse was entertaining " said Jack as he slouched onto the bed.

" we do have a meeting in a bit though" said Jack.

" oh, should I come or ?"

" John's going to hang out with Genji during it " jack stated. He didn't look thrilled but Genji is really good with John except for the sword incident.

" oh! Can he fight with me?" Asked John excitedly.

"No-" I said while Jack simultaneously said " sure".

I shot Jack a glare and he cringed for a moment.

" ange, play fighting is fine" he said.

" I don't want-"

" no no he's teaching me self dispense " said John.

" defense" Jack corrected.

" oh that makes it better? He's four Jack" I grumbled.

" almost five!" Chirped John. I just sighed and shook my head.

" what if it was just play fighting?" Asked Jack trying to reason with me.

He knows I hate this, he knows me... ugh.

"Fine" I replied trying not to argue in front of our son anymore than we just did.

Jack rubbed my back carefully, as though I would snap his arm off.

But John quickly dragged him away to play with him, while I just laid back in bed reading some old medical journal I had been meaning to look over again. But the coding was almost too much for my brain function at the moment. ' pull yourself together ' has been my internal mantra during these cramped conditions.

I glanced over at my boys, and a smile formed on my face. I love them so much, I just want a better situation.

Looking back over my notes about John and Reyes, trying to figure out how one hurts the other. As I turned the page little pinpricks of blood left on the pages. Scheisse!

My nails had dug into my palms creating little half moon blood marks. Quickly wiping them on my skirt, the small wounds already repairing themselves as a sigh of relief escaped my lips.

" angel?" Asked Jack as he peered over at me, his eyes weary with concern.

" is it time to go?" I asked brushing off the tone in his voice.

He checked the time and nodded.

" John ! It's time to go play with Genji" said Jack with false enthusiasm.

John nodded and dug through the bags for his sword. I shook my head, just let it go Angela...

within moments we were leaving the room and Jack took John to see Genji while I waited, glancing at Hana and Lucio's quiet talking, completely absorbed in each other. Oh to have been as free as they were back then... we wouldn't be going through all this, that's for sure. Love is one of the most complex things that I cannot rationalize with science anymore. His hand touched my arm and he pulled me against him for a moment. I want this all the time.

" ready to go in?" He asked, I nodded into his chest, then pulled away so we could go in.

Just about everyone was here, looking stir crazy, excluding Ana and Fareeha.

" once everyone is here we can get started" said Winston. Lena zipped in and hurled her body at the chair next to me, it rocked with the sudden movement. As the rest of the team entered sans Genji of course, Winston began to pull up maps.

" I know how challenging this has been, but I have some good news, Athena hasn't reported anything happening to our base so far, which is a relief. " he paused as the room collectively let out relived sighs.

" however I don't feel it is safe to return yet or if we should look into the other empty location. But I think with this news we can all breathe better. Lucio and Hana will be leaving us for a short while, but we do need a small group to go with them on the night of the concert, just to be in the area. So far we are considering Lena and Jesse, just because they have been seen outside before, and possibly sending out Reinhardt and Torbjorn, just because we know Torbjorn does has family who probably wants to hear from him and they won't be too out of place wandering out in the world"

" yeh, besides all of us out there separately shouldn't draw too much attention " added Torbjorn. We nodded.

" so that just leaves us, we can try to move locations or wait. Since this is our safe location for the time being I don't know if we want to venture out further without the rest or what you would like to do. This isn't an official grouping anymore so obviously any of you can leave as you seem fit" said Winston.

' I want ouuuuuut' is what my brain is screaming, instead my stomach churns and my nails dig into my palms, momentarily clearing my mind. That leaves us with Winston, Fareeha, Ana, Jack, Hanzo, Genji and bastion.

Jack squeezed my shoulders, jarring my out of my thoughts.

" everything will be sorted out with those leaving tomorrow, so those of you not leaving, besides seventy six and Ana can go. " said Winston.

A slight murmur went around the room, I turned to Jack.

" just go back to the room for a bit, take some time for yourself and I'll bring John back when I'm done here " said Jack.

" alright darling " I replied, thankful to have a moment to just stew on my emotions, I know Genji doesn't mind watching John.

Returning to the empty room was tranquil, not that I don't love John, he's just a ball of energy and I really want to focus on his genes and fixing the damages before something happens. I had been tracking his mental progress and physical progress, he's growing up faster than other kids his age. Not by much but just enough to notice. His speech is almost perfect as well as his comprehension of situations. But how much of that can be related to me as a kid? A lump formed in my throat. I try so hard to not miss them, they would have a grand kid... and ugh. My fingers pressed into my temples as I looked back down at my notes. He only had a few scrapes here and there, no physical changes from it yet, but these are very very minor injuries.

As I spent more time theorizing and writing it all out I sighed again, only to be startled by Jack returning without John.

" Genji and Hanzo want him for a bit longer, or they are just being nice, eh I can't get a good read on Hanzo"

" my dear, not even Hanzo knows what Hanzo is thinking" I replied.

" in more good news, Winston created new communicators and trackers, from old parts of ancient tech" said Jack.

" that's good"

" it's excellent, it will take quite a few tries before the hacker will even figure out what was used and how, apparently he's been trying them out with Fareeha a lot so I'm confident, or as much as I can be" with his mask now off you could see relief etched onto his face.

" and with most of the team gone we can plan more and spread out more, figure out what we are going to do"

" what do you mean?"

" I mean I'm feeling better, I feel more optimistic again"

" I don't mean to be a raincloud but..."

" it's going to get better, I know it will" he responded his posture was more rigid than before. He looked happy... did Reyes explode again?

After some pacing he joined me on the bed, trailing his fingertips down my back then pulling me into his chest.

I snuggled against him, tucking myself into a ball to curl in closer.

This is the way I recharge now, his arms secured me into place as I relaxed.

" I'm glad you feel this way" I mumbled into his neck, then gently nibbled on it.

" I'm glad I feel this way, I just wish I could get you happier " he whispered into my hair.

" you do make me happy, I'm just stir uhm. How do you word it?"

" you are restless"

" yes"

" don't worry, things will change soon" he said as he rubbed my shoulders.

Pulling away from his chest he kissed my forehead.

" you know what I miss? " I cooed.

" hmm?"

" our flat... and just laying around eating ice cream until we passed out "

He laughed softly and squeezed me against him gently.

" we had that worked out so well" he sighed, his fingers trailing through my hair absently.

" well, oneday we can have a tiny cramped flat again with a mess of kids" he teased.

" psssh. Nooo. I just meant I missed it, I missed when it was simpler, well, when we weren't... you know, hiding" the end of my words turned into a whisper.

" I know, we will get it all sorted out, trust me" he said before placing a kiss on my forehead.

The door slightly shook with a rhythm tapping noise.

Jack got up, put on his mask and to opened the door where an excited Lucio stood.

" hey! Ange! I wanted to asked you something?" He said with enthusiasm.

" alright"

" can you go help Hana for a little bit? Or... am I interrupting?" He asked.

Jack shrugged and motioned at me to go.

" of course" I replied " is she alright?"

He laughed and looked at me shaking his head.

" she's fine! Just needs some help with something else "

I followed him to their room, bottles of Mountain Dew strewn around and Hana was sitting on the bed absently playing something.

" here you go! You fine ladies talk!" Said Lucio shutting the door as he left.

I shuffled my feet as Hana grunted and slammed her hands against her gaming device.

What the hell does she want with me?

A few minutes passed as she sat there getting more annoyed with her game.

" can I uh... help you with something?" I asked.

She looked up startled.

" oh hi! Sorry! One minute please " she replied.

I sighed and leaned against the wall, taking note of the music gear in the corner and Hana's jacket flung over part of it. A smile crept on my lips as I glanced at their nest.

She let out a happy cheer and put down her game.

" okay! So! This will be my first big Lucio show, and I wanted to like, do something. But I lied to him to get you here" said Hana.

" lied how?"

" oh I just said lady stuff! Which he knows better than to question, okay fine. I said I needed help picking an outfit but that's not really it" she rambled on.

" Hana what?!" I asked feeling my nerves getting short.

" WELL! I know how to dance but he talks about your dancing and well" she frowned.

" I don't like coming in second"

I laughed and arched a brow at her.

" you could never come in second, has he ever seen you dance?!" I inquired.

She shook her head no.

" well have you ever danced?"

She let out a giggle " of course I have ".

" then what do you need me for?"

" I've seen the videos! I want to know how you , how you..."

she sighed and flopped back onto the bed.

" this is going to sound silly, but you just feel it?"

" feel it?"

" yes, you just let the music flow through you and move accordingly"

" you are making this sound so scientific!" She argued.

I don't need this, I have a child.

" play something of his" I stated.

She nodded and turned on a new song I hadn't heard, and my body started moving, a little shaky at first but then that relaxing freedom took over. Suddenly I'm not trapped in this underground cavern, my mind isn't filled with clouds and... her hand tapping on my shoulder bringing me back to reality.

" like this?" She asked softly as she moved her body, but her movements showed her insecurity.

" with me" I said as I pulled her closer and gently moved her around.

" this is trance, so let it completely take over you, just feel it" I said, her body started acting more fluidly, her eyes closing in concentration.

" thinking too much" I stated.

" YOU THINK TOO MUCH!" She argued back with a smile.

" and it's dance you don't need to overthink it, bodies just move" I said continuing with my tangent.

She puffed out her cheeks and burst into giggles.

" what?"

" you are the most serious sometimes, it's no wonder you and grumpy are perfect for each other!"

" I'm not that serious " I argued.

" oh yeah? What's the last fun thing you did?!" She inquired.

" uhm"

" EXACTLY! Come have fun with me, or do I need to ask someone else to join?"

" you do realize this started out with me saying YOU are overthinking "

" I don't like to lose, besides you are holding back, I know what you can do" she said.

" wait. Why am I here then? If you know I'm holding back and you aren't trying why am I here?" I huffed.

" BECAAAAUSE " she said then she spun around.

" just teach me " she said with a smile. For the next hour or more we danced and danced until we both collapsed on the bed.

" how do you feel now?" She asked turning on her side and looking at me.

" better, why?"

" no reason" she smiled.

" wait. Hana what do you mean?"

" uhhh how did I do?"

" you did well, now what do you mean?!" I asked looking at her.

" oh fine! Lucio and grumpy noticed that you were sad and stressed and so well... they knew you needed something! And you know! I did need some help perfecting my moves" she wiggled.

I shook my head and sighed, that was really sweet of them, but completely unnecessary.

" you know he really isn't that grumpy" I said.

" you would know! I wouldn't!" She sighed and flipped onto her back again.

" well I should probably get back to my kid" I said as I sat up.

" I think Genji is watching him for the night " said Hana with a wink.

" oh hush, j-he wouldn't allow that" I said thankful for my quick catch of my own almost slip up.

" oookay"

" how are you and Lucio doing anyway?" I asked switching the subject.

She smiled and covered her face with her hands as she kicked her feet in the air.

" it's... amazing" she said as she let out a breath.

" I'm glad" I responded.

" me too! You don't know how lonely I used to get! You can have a billion followers and still have no one to talk too" she said as her eyes went glassy.

" ha, while I didn't have a billion followers, I did get lonely often..."

" after your boyfriend died? Or before or? "

I felt a lump in my throat.

" actually the majority of my life, overwatch helped, and yes commander Morrison definitely made it wonderful... I'm just lucky I have someone again"

" and a son!"

" yes, of course, with both of them gone at the same time it was... it was really hard"

" but then you met 76 and his mystery took you in, what does he look like?!" Asked Hana, her eyes searching me for a visible cue or something.

" he's very handsome" I said with a smile.

" is that why he won't show his face because he's so handsome?! I've seen phantom of the opera, I know how it is! "

I frowned and looked at her for a moment, she shot an apologetic look my way.

" he's handsome, and that's all I'm going to say on that matter" I chided. Hana sighed and ran a hand through her hair as she dug in a pile of things for a brush.

" well he seems nice, to you anyway... " she said softly as she began to brush her hair, I reached out for the brush and she smiled while handing it to me. I brushed out her hair gently while she talked about her excitement to stream again. Once I pulled it into a ponytail I noticed how late it was getting.

" I should probably be going now" I said. She nodded as I stood up heading for the door.

" well thanks for your help" she said. I just smiled and nodded as I walked back to our room.

As weird and awkward as that was, I hadn't thought about anything distressing or medical related the entire time.

I opened the door, Jack was reading to John whose eyes were almost shut. They flicked open for a minute, his little arms popped up. I dashed over to give him a hug and a kiss, he whined softly and curled back up a moment later. Jack was eyeing me, searching me for an emotional readout.

" you are... wonderful and also a complete -" I started to say something mildly insulting but I shut myself up. I was going to call him silly or a lunatic. But it didn't feel right. I waited for him to join me on our bed. He walked over with slight apprehension before joining me. I traced a finger up his chest and smiled.

" but really. Hana? Why not Lena ?" I asked. He slapped a hand to his forehead.

" she was prepping for tomorrow, doing rounds on the orca, and hey how did you find out?"

I sighed and snuggled against him.

" Hana doesn't keep secrets well" I said.

" that surprises me " said Jack.

" but it was sweet of you" I replied as I pressed my lips to his, he responded by pulling me ontop of him, continuing the kiss for a moment before letting my head rest on his chest.

" thank you. I needed it. " I added. His chest was rising and falling as he nodded, I didn't realize how exhausted I was as I began to fall asleep to the rhythm of his body.

His hands lightly drummed on my lower back to wake me up.

" do you want to go say goodbye to everyone?" He asked softly.

" what?!" My eyes popped open.

" everyone who is leaving" Jack said quickly.

" yes" I responded, I glanced over at John who was still asleep and quickly changed and pulled up my hair.

" will John be okay?" I whispered.

Jack nodded and opened the door for me.

A very tired looking group was gathered, Winston was hopping around figuring out more safety protocols and making sure the alert buttons work, as well as the newly designed comm units.

Lena zipped over to me and threw her arms around me, rocking from foot to foot.

" eh love! I'm gonna miss ya! But we'll be back soon! Promise!" She said into my ear.

" I know you will" I responded as I tightly hugged her back.

She then zipped off to double check on things as Lucio and Hana approached.

" gonna miss you! You sure you can't come?" Said Lucio with a smile and wink.

" I'm certain! But have a wonderful time and be safe!"

" we will!" Chirped Hana as they both hugged me and began to pick up more bags and stash them into the orca.

Jack was with Winston and Reinhardt, the faces I could see looked ever so slightly anxious. Reinhardt looked more weary than anxious, the desert is no place for him anyways.

Then Ana and Fareeha made an entrance. Fareeha had a scowl etched across her face and her and Ana argued.

Not wanting to get involved I walked over to Reinhardt and company.

But as luck would have it they argued over to the group.

" what is the meaning of all of this arguing ?" Asked Winston after a moment of awkward shuffling.

" I was thinking Fareeha would be of more use with them" started Ana.

" and I was saying that there will be so few remaining here, what will you do to protect yourselves?" Grunted Fareeha.

" we have gotten by for many many years without any of these newer recruits, I'm sure we will do fine" said Winston.

" this it true ! Even our soldier friend has proven to be a remnent of a stronger era!" Boomed Reinhardt.

" but then you are left with two snipers, a soldier, someone who never leaves to fight anymore, a cyborg ninja , someone who provides medical care and can sort of defend herself because she has a kid" barked Fareeha.

I was silent, she has a point...

" Fareeha do as you wish, I just figured you would want to go out and do something, not stay here and guard ruins"

Fareeha grumbled under her breath.

" also if you get into trouble out there you still have friends at helix who will help you out. Get us some more Intel possibly?" Ana added with a coy smile.

" mother! You aren't suggesting..."

She stopped herself and sighed heavily.

" I will remain here, but I will head out first if need be"

" alright my stubborn stubborn girl" said Ana.

A wave of relief was in the air for a brief moment. We would be underprepared without her. But her helix connections would have been helpful.

After a few minutes of checking to make sure everything was up to par, including the medical kits for them in case they were ready to head out.

Walking back through the even emptier halls was excruciating. The two most joyful people had left.

" everything is going to work out, and this looks better if talon is keeping tabs on where the disbanded members are" said Jack with confidence. I nodded as we lingered outside our door. John wasn't awake yet according to the little monitor.

Jack reached out to brush a stray tendril out of my face, he had a knack for finding them before I could, then opened the door to the room.

John stirred in his sleep, pulling the stuffed dragon closer to him as he flipped.

" I'm going to talk to Ana for a bit, but I'll be back soon and with breakfast" said Jack.

I nodded and leaned up to kiss him, he bent down to meet my lips and stroke my neck.

A kiss was placed on my forehead right before he headed out.

I slumped back into bed, staring over at John for a moment before making some more notes, I had more solutions but no real cure yet for him. This is what is driving me up a wall, I created cures for countless diseases and conditions, advanced surgical studies. But something I created I couldn't explain, it's the most infuriating thing. I created this serum, not the super soldier one but I know that inside and out as if I did. Even the inventors looked at me in shock as I spoke to them.

A loud sigh escaped my lips, I was twisting a strand of hair too hard. Scheiße ( fuck). I just want to figure this out, I could feel my eyes welling up.

" mommy?" Whimpered John.

I quickly wiped my eyes.

" yes mein love?" I replied.

" what's wrong?" He said in a small voice.

" it's nothing, mommy just was thinking for a minute "

" about what?" He said as he toddled over to me.

I lifted him up into a hug.

" about how much I love you" I said as I squeezed him tightly.

" I love you !" He said so sweetly, he's such an angel.

The door opened and Jack had some plates in his arms.

" daaadddy come hug mommy" said John.

" is she squeezing you too tight?" Laughed Jack as he set down the food on the table and joined us. Then Jack took off his mask looking at me directly in the eyes, I tried looking down.

He wrapped his arms around us holding us tightly against him.

" did you make food?" Asked John as he struggled to break free.

" I did! But don't eat your mothers"

Said Jack as John lunged over to the food and began chomping.

"Was ist los mit dir? Meine Liebste" ( what's wrong ? My dear) asked Jack.

" das Übliche" ( the usual) I replied.

"es wird besser" ( it will get better) he responded as he gently touched my shoulder.

" I don't understand you " said John with a mouthful of toast.

" john don't-" Jack and I said in unison stopping when we noticed.

John giggled and returned to eating.

I nuzzled into Jack's neck as his hand gently stroked the small of my back.

" you need to eat " he said softly.

His hand cupped the back of my neck and he planted a quick kiss on my cheek.

Jack stood up and grabbed me a plate , we shared in quiet talks with John while eating. I'm thankful that Jack cooks because I certainly cannot. Everything I touch ends up burnt or tasteless. Jack disappeared with the empty plates leaving John and into snuggle and work on his reading. I ran my hands through his shaggy hair as he slowly read to me, stopping only to get help with the larger words he couldn't sound out. Jack returned and we moved forward so he could sit behind me, his chin rested on my head as we listened to our son read.

After about an hour he got bored and demanded that he play with Fareeha.

" we have to see if she wants to play" I responded.

" she does!" Squeaked John.

" it's not polite to assume kid" said Jack.

John sighed and began to get grumpy, he whined some more.

" with that attitude you can't go play even if she wanted too" responded Jack. Which only set off John further, but this behavior won't be allowed. He rarely has outbursts so when he does we make sure to inform him that you cannot behave that way.

" John... john. It's okay that you want to play, but we would need to make sure first. It's the polite thing to do. But whining won't get you what you want..." said Jack. John's cheeks were red with emotion, as he calmed down.

" I have to go do my watch now, but I'll stop and ask her on my way, okay?"

" okay" sniffles John.

I could feel my shoulders droop, am I seriously envious of him having something to do? But his kiss broke me out of my self pity.

" just an hour longer than usual, I'll be back to make dinner" he said into my ear, his warm breath sending a numbing sensation down me.

" ja darling" I replied as he kissed me again before leaving.

" why does daddy need to watch and you don't ?"

" because I'm the doctor" I replied.

" oh. " said John as he peered up at me.

' hey beautiful, they want to watch him today' came a message from Jack. I smiled, I love them so much. And of course I love John, but just maybe I can crack this today.

" John! Guess what?" I said with a smile.

He looked up from his toys " what?"

" aunt Ana and Fareeha want to play with you today"

" really?" He squeaked.

I nodded and held out my hand, he jumped up running over to me. We walked over to their room together and Fareeha greeted us.

" hey my mom wants to see you in the kitchen" added Fareeha.

" okay, thank you so much for well..."

Fareeha warmly smiled and nodded

" honestly, I've missed having him around me on a daily basis " said Fareeha softly so only I could hear.

That warmed my heart and My arms reacted faster than I could stop them pulling her into a hug, which she gave back.

" John be good !" I said, he looked up with big eyes and nodded.

I thanked Fareeha again and walked to the kitchen. Ana already had a teacup waiting for me.

" I know you've missed our talks my dear " she said with a grin.

Truly I did...

" oh I have" I replied.

" do you want to go to your room so we can talk in private?" She asked. I nodded and picked up my tea. Once we settled in the room she began to speak.

" I know this is hard for you , I see it wearing you down and creating so much stress in your functioning. You aren't like this. You are stronger than this. " she said. I straightened my posture a bit taken back by her bluntness but this is why I love her.

" thank you, I just need to figure out how to help him "

She made a noise of disagreement.

" what?" I asked.

" don't you think you are putting too much pressure on yourself ? Instead of focusing on spending time with him you are focused on him as an experiment"

I felt my eye twitch for a moment.

"wie kannst du das sagen?!l" I shouted ( how could you say that ?!)

Ana arched her brow at me.

" sorry, I cannot believe you would say that" I said quietly. She wasn't completely wrong though...

" I just, I feel so guilty. I caused this! I turned him into something he isn't and I cannot fix it I can just kill it!"

Ana leaned back into her chair and her eye widened.

Scheisse... she didn't know.

" I... " I started to say and wiped a tear I didn't noticed until now.

" it's fine, and I know you can figure it out, whatever it is that you are mentioning, but I'll assume it's something due to being pregnant and working around chemicals" said Ana kindly as she patted my hand.

" all I meant was, you need to relax more. And learn to take it easier on yourself. Let your son have a childhood" said Ana.

" but how can we do that in these circumstances?" I asked.

" well you could send him away again, somewhere completely safe where he wouldn't be found, but you also couldn't contact him for quite some time. Or you could get creative down here-"

" I'm not creative" I replied.

" ha! you are, you just rarely tap into it" said Ana.

We took a moment to sip our tea and sit in silence.

" how many people besides us do you think know about John ?" I asked forcing out the question that was constantly eating the back of my thoughts.

" truly? There has to be a few, probably Sombra, but the question there is if she would have told anyone. Despite there being no records of him in the system at all. His time with Fareeha and... Meera was undetected for the most part until... They mostly wanted to get you during that attack as well"

" but Jack seems optimistic " I said.

" Jack also is trying to keep his sanity down here, he can go one or two ways and I am pleased he chose that one. " said Ana with a slight shake of her head to get a fallen hair away from her face.

" I don't think we could handle giving up John again, well I don't think I could... but -"

" there comes that time when safety is of more concern than you wanting him to be close" said Ana. " just like Jack following you, my gods" she shook her head again.

That sorrow filled me again, knowing he was there and feeling so ashamed. The past is behind us now, safety is priority.

" but with everyone allowed to leave, isn't that a good sign?"

" it's more of a diversion, if we need to do anything during their time gone we can. Such as move to another location, or simply stay put, Jesse and Lena going was a chess move on our part, because would you knowing Lena ever think she would leave an organization that she may be apart of?"

That's a good point, my smirk must have given her the sign to continue on with her theories.

" well it just gives time to focus on how we will move forward now that we are so few" her voice drifted off as she glanced down at her cup, gently swirling the liquid before taking another sip.

" i must apologize if I haven't been cooperative lately " I stated, feeling my cheeks burn slightly.

" do not waste another moment on it. I've always told you that you apologize too much. You feel too much "

" that is why I'm the doctor and you are the soldier " I cut in. She smiled, and patted my hand again.

" well I should be going, but if you two need the night to talk, we will gladly keep John with us" said Ana.

" thank you, we will let you know" I said as she briskly exited the room.

I turned back to my notes, carefully scribbling down and perfecting my two most plausible ideas, I just need a lab. A semi loud grunt of frustration escaped my lips.

" good to see you too" said Jack as he stood in the doorway.

I jumped up embarrassed to hug him, he closed the door and picked me up while I buried my face into his neck.

" you were supposed to be taking it easy today" he said with an agitated sigh as he set me back down onto the bed, careful to avoid sitting me on my notes.

" when have you ever seen me take it easy?" I said.

His shrugged as he removed his mask, he looked tired and visibility worried.

" did something happen?" I asked.

" Reinhardt and Torbjorn were safely dropped off, that's about it so far" he said while I scrambled to put away my notes. When I finally had them safely stashed he joined me, holding out an arm so I could lay my head on his shoulder. He stroked my arm while laying in silence.

" Ana and I talked today" I said slowly carefully choosing my phrasing.

" that's good" he let out a sigh of relief.

" yes and no" i said, he turned to glance at me and I tried hiding my face.

" ange..." he murmured.

I buried my face further into his armpit

" angel..."

I covered my hands over my head.

" please don't make me do it" he grumbled.

My head popped up, if there's one thing he can do, it's send me into a fit from a single touch to my armpit.

" better, now... what happened? "

" just talking about what to do about John" i felt his body stiffen.

" what do you mean?"

" if he should stay with us or go somewhere to be safer" I said softly, his nostrils flared for a moment and his jaw clenched.

" she lost her sister protecting John. How does she think him being elsewhere would be safer?" He snarled.

I chewed on my lip, I hadn't seen him angry like this since we got here, and Meera was a sore subject all around.

" I know..." I meekly stated. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes tightly, pinching the bridge of his nose.

" what did you say?" He asked.

" i would consider it, or something like that " I said slowly.

He sighed " seriously Angela?" His voice sounded harsh.

" I didn't want to be rude, and I just didn't know, I just want him safe"

" by getting more people killed and put at risk?"

I bit my lip harder and tears began to form.

" fuck, I'm sorry I'm ... I didn't... fuck. I just, I don't want to be apart. I don't want him to not be with atleast one of us. It makes me worry" he stammered.

I kissed his cheek, the warmth against my lips combined with stubble.

" I understand, it's our choice darling " I said. I could feel him relax as I kissed his jawline.

" I just want him to be safe, and for you to be safe" he whispered.

" I know" I replied softly. " and I just want want you to both be alive and in excellent health and-"

He gently pressed a finger to my lips, and shook his head.

" what?" I whispered.

" I know when you are obsessing about something and John is fine, is Ana bringing him back here or should I go get him?"

" actually she said he can stay with her tonight, she just needs to know" I said.

" oh really?" He replied quirking a brow.

" yes" I replied with a smile as I looked into his eyes.

" should we?"

" it's up to you" I replied.

" sleep is tempting, but they both have their watch soon, well Ana has hers after Genji, ah maybe another night" he said as he kissed my forehead.

I got up and walked down the darkened hallway to retrieve John, the stillness was eerie. No soft sounds of video games, no faint scent of cigar smoke and certainly no Lena zipping around and cheekily giggling.

John was already asleep when I reached their room, Fareeha carefully handed him to me, the weight of a sleeping body compared to awake is always fascinating. As we put him into his own bed and curled up in ours I hope that they arrived safely.

 **A/N: I wanted to thank everyone who reads this, and for everyone who reached out to me. Also! to the guest who is reviewing, THANK YOU! i wish i could personally thank you! but i know how it is!**  
 **I don't really have much to say about this chapter, if you have any thoughts or ideas on where you think this is headed i would love to know! i have the next chapter started but i always love theories!**


	49. Chapter 49

Delicious smells woke me up as he ran his hands through my hair to wake me.

" ja?" I replied groggily.

" food and coffee, I'll see you in a few hours" he whispered to me as he kissed my cheek. I twisted around stretching before leaning up to kiss him.

I wanted to lay in bed longer but John bolted out of bed and began clambering for food.

" coffee?" He asked looking at me.

" no john, no coffee for you mein love" I said as I sat up and pulled my hair up. I walked over to him as he shoved bacon into his mouth. I frowned slightly, his choice not mine.

The coffee was incredible and pulled me from my drained fog.

" slow down and chew" I instructed. John coughed for a moment and jumped up panicking, but he smiled and continued chewing, I sunk back into my chair with a sigh of relief.

Once we finished eating, we gathered our dishes and took them to the kitchen. Hanzo was sitting there and he nodded at us, but John raced up to him and reached up for him. I smirked while turning to wash the plates.

I could hear snippets of their conversation, Hanzo explaining spirit dragons.

" but can I get one?"

" they are a shimada family symbol" said Hanzo.

" but you are family" said John.

Hanzo grunted for half a moment and I turned to look at him to motion that it's completely okay to say exactly what he means by it.

" you are family, but Shimada is a birthright " said Hanzo

" birthright ?" Asked John.

" Genji and I have the same parents, and their parents and so on, birthright through blood"

" huh ?"

I scrubbed the dishes harder and dried them off, fiddling with the coffee maker for a moment.

" your mother had you, so she is your birth mother by blood"

" mommy you gave me your blood?" Asked John

" in a way..., I mean yes " I said not wanting to explain anything to my son.

" does dad have a birthright? " asked John.

" I don't think so darling " I said while stirring in sugar.

Hanzo shifted uncomfortably for a moment before stating "

Sometimes it's land or a vase... for whatever reason a vase" he sounded disappointed.

" well daddy has you and the farm " insisted John.

"John" I said sternly.

" what ?" Asked John peering over at me his eyes wide with confusion. I knew this day would come when he would start talking about what Jack talks to him about to the others.

Hanzo shot a glance of curiosity at me and I shook my head for a moment.

" how about you tell Hanzo about the movie you watched with Ana " I said trying to change the conversation.

" OH! We watched a movie about a dog and I really want a dog" said John.

" dogs are... nice " said Hanzo.

" dogs are more than nice!" Said John his small voice raising with emotion.

" you are right " Hanzo stated. I sat down with them, Hanzo shot me another suspicious look while I shoved my mug into my face trying to disguise the slight twitch of my lips.

" did you hear if they landed yet?" I asked switching the subjects again.

" I believe they have, I think Genji knows more, but he's meditating and Winston is working on some more communicator backup devices" Hanzo spoke with an even tone, now show of alarm in his remarks.

" do you want to play with us ?" Asked John.

Oh good, the two most un-imaginative people playing pretend with a four year old.

" uh-" stammered Hanzo.

" he probably has work to do" I comforted John.

" I... uh. I will make time, what are we... playing? " Asked Hanzo, the word 'playing' came out so unnatural.

" we could play with swords again"

Exclaimed John.

" I don't think your mother would enjoy that " Hanzo replied.

" mommy fights, she has a gun. Daddy told me, so she can play " said John.

I sighed heavily, I'm going to have to talk to Jack later, oh well, on one hand it's the truth, I do fight. I fight more than I feel like admitting.

" why don't you think of something else?" I softly asked.

John wiggled around and scrunched his face at me. I just raised an eyebrow and drank coffee, trying to decide if he was going to throw a tantrum or was just thinking really hard about it.

" do you like the avengers?" He asked Hanzo.

" I do not believe I have heard of them" Hanzo replied. John's face turned to shock.

" but. But..." he sputtered out.

" I haven't watched many films" said Hanzo in an attempt to stop further questioning.

John sighed and looked at me with huge eyes.

" Star Wars?!" Squeaked John.

" I may have seen that one"

John smacked his hand to his head and grunted with frustration.

" there were so many! More than one" He whined.

" here mommy you can be vader And Hanzo can be Han Solo and I'll be luke"

I arched a brow " why am I Vader?" I asked

" you can't be Leia because if he's Han you kiss" argued John.

" but this has fighting as well"

" you don't mind lightsabers " said John.

" true" I remarked, and finished my coffee.

" and you and I get to fight! And I want to fight you" said John with glee, I could feel my mouth twitch into a sign of confusion.

Winston shuffling around could be heard in the distance, and John took off without warning.

" hi there! " said Winston enthusiastically as he approached with John clinging to him.

" I found chewbacca" squeaked John. Winston frowned for a moment then shrugged and said " what can I do?".

John smiled and looked at all of us waiting for his cue.

" first we need to fly, mommy you can stand over there! Oh Winston! Mommy is Vader! And Hanzo is Han Solo " said John. I still want to be annoyed at the pun, but he's his fathers son...

I stood in the corner while Hanzo and Winston rearranged chairs to be the cockpit.

I refilled my coffee mug and stood around while John instructed them on their roles, sure it wasn't exactly the same as the movies, but it was still adorable. Hanzo was doing his best which is a reason to smile, the image of him playing like this with Genji is also a sweet thought.

As if on cue Genji entered and was immediately assigned to be c3po. Which John has a hell of a time trying to pronounce. It sounds more like " tree-pee-ohh".

I glanced at the clock hoping beyond all hope that Jack wouldn't miss this. It's absolutely a riot, I really wish I could photograph this, an old Polaroid or something. Photos are just memories, you don't need a photo to remember...

I sipped my coffee and listened in, Genji trying his best to pull off the British accent. A small giggle escaped my lips and Winston turned and smiled at me.

" oh no! It's darth Vader! " shrieked John pointing at me. I almost dropped my cup and had to try so hard not to burst into laughter. Winston was biting his lip as well to hold back his own roaring laughter.

" uh! It is I... lord Vader " I replied trying to deepen my voice. Even Hanzo's mouth twitched briefly into a smirk.

" get him chewie!" Squeaked John. Winston attempted a Wookiee sound and pounced over to me. I carefully avoided eye contact, but I could feel my stomach muscles shaking from laughter.

" what is going on in here?" Chuckled Ana.

" stormy-trooper! Get her!" Yelled John as he jumped up making whooshing sounds with an imaginary light saber.

Ana jumped back and made finger guns.

" I'm Luke!" Said John excitedly.

" well Luke, unfortunately I have to go and relieve your father from his watch, but I'll play later" said Ana with a chuckle.

I turned back to John as he lunged at me, I reached for him, pulling him into my arms tightly as he wriggled around.

" help me!" He cried out to Winston, who pulled John from my arms giving out a roar.

I jumped back and threw up my hands in mock surrender, not a Vader thing to do... so I shifted to a defensive stance. Genji was doing a weird impersonation of a robot while Hanzo just shook his head.

" Vader!" Shrieked John again as he lunged forward again and called out to Hanzo-Solo who attempted to pretend.

" come over to the dark side!" I attempted.

" never!" Shouted John jumping around and swishing his invisible light saber. " tree-pee-oh! Get him!"

Genji walked over to me

" oh dear" he said as he approached and tried restraining my arms as I wiggled away. Hanzo joined in with Winston and John as I stood on a chair trying to 'escape'.

" hey" came Jack's masked voice, causing them to turn to face him while I nodded to Jack and jumped for him. He expertly caught me, years upon years of doing this whenever we would do new suit adjustments, or just... because.

" oh no! It's boba fett!" Yelled John as he jumped up and down.

" should we make a run for it?" Asked Jack.

" that's the best course of action" I whispered back. Instead of setting me down he gripped me and ran.

" keep me updated on their location" said Jack as he darted around a corner and quickly opened the storage closet and ran in locking it behind us.

Footsteps could be heard scrambling down the halls as John barked out orders.

" Star Wars?" Asked Jack.

" yes"

" who are you?"

" Vader" I said softly.

" why not Leia?"

" because Hanzo is... Han Solo" I said with a giggle.

" goddamnit" uttered Jack with a chuckle. " he IS my kid"

I started giggling.

" shhh shh don't give away our location " said Jack barely above a whisper.

" I'm sorry I can't stop" I said as I shook with suppressing the laughter. Suddenly I felt his lips crash into mine as he pressed me against the wall. My lips parted to allow him inside, as he greedily entered, his hands trailing up my sides before caressing the small of my back. I snaked my arms around his shoulders and pulled myself up onto his hips as we kissed. The rush of adrenaline was intoxicating, overpowering me, as he moved to kissing my neck. A soft startled moan exited my lips as he softly shhh-ed.

" Jack... we can't" I whispered. His lips met mine again before he pulled them away for a moment.

" oh I know, but we always lived for the tension" he growled softly, then kissed again, tenderly nipping my lower lip.

" I think we found their location! Han! The door!" Shouted John.

We held our breath for a moment and I heard Jack's faceplate click back on.

The door next to ours rattled.I sighed resting my forehead against Jack's chest. Then a loud knocking on the door.

" let us in! You are... you are uh..." Shouted John.

" I believe the word you are looking for, is under arrest" said Genji using a stalling mock accent.

" this is gold" whispered Jack.

" let us in!" Whined John.

" what do you want with us?" I asked deepening my voice, Jack tried hiding his laughter and I shot him the angriest look I could manage, the glow of his visor and the continued cackling was proof he say it.

"We want cookies! Wait no! We want Vader! To pay for his crimes!" Said John.

" cookies wouldn't be bad" said Winston out loud. Then he shuffled and made another attempt at speaking in Wookiee.

" what do you think they are going to do to me?" I whispered.

" you heard them. Make you make cookies, shame too... that sounds more like a punishment to them" he chuckled, and I threw my hands on my hips and stared him down.

" I know my cooking is terrible"

" no your cooking is awful, your baking is... probably deadly" he teased.

I snorted angrily and huffed.

" oh darling, you have so many many talents. It's fine that you burn everything in the kitchen. I never needed a cook... I just need a -"

" OPEN THIS DOOR RIGHT NOWWWWW" shouted John as his voice shook.

Jack sighed and reached for the doorknob with one hand and held my hands behind my back with the other.I blinked at the group assembled.

" I have the captive" said Jack

" good work, you will be rewarded for your... " started John

" noble efforts and success" offered Genji.

John nodded " for your noble efforts and success, now bring the prisoner to the ship" Jack nodded and nudged me forward, I complied.

" that was too easy" said John with a giggle after we walked by.

" too easy? Should we turn and fight?" Whispered Jack.

"Oh wait. I know your answer will be no, but in character it should be yes" he whispered.

I sighed and nodded.

" alright, on my signal, prepare your lightsaber"

We walked forward a little bit when he spun me around and released my hands, drawing his own into finger pistols, while I mimicked holding a light saber.

" oh no!" Said John.

Winston let out a shaking roar. While Hanzo stood his ground with Genji.

" you take out Luke, I'll shoot down the rest" said Jack.

I get to fight my own son, as Vader... teenage me would be appalled and amused.

Winston charged for me and I fake sliced his arms while Jack made firing noises at him. Winston began to do the most dramatic death scene.

" chewwwiiie nooooo" cried out John as he raced forward with Hanzo. Hanzo fought with Jack while I fought John.

His little clumsy moves were hard to match up with. Genji had taught me how to use a sword, and some self defense that I needed brushing up on. So my moves were precise, while his chaos swarmed around me. I glanced Hanzo 'dying' out of the corner of my eye.

" surrender!" I called out " do it now".

" never!" Yelped John as he barreled towards me.

I should probably let my son win this one? I think that's how it works, if I don't then he will fear he won't be strong enough.

He slices at my legs and I fall to the ground, I noticed Jack couldn't bring himself to shoot our kid either, I smirked for a moment and that's when my son fake- beheaded me. I rolled around on the ground and mock searched for it while he burst into giggles. Then he ran for Jack and sliced him apart as well, rolling right next to me, a sand cloud formed and all of us " dead" characters began openly laughing, until John shot us a look " come on c3po, we have a lot of work to do" he said, while

Gripping Genji's hand and skipping off, leaving us all to slowly sit up and brush ourselves off.

" he's hanging out with Genji now?" I stated feeling slightly hurt.

" aw don't worry about it, he just looks up to him" said Winston. My body recoiled for a moment, ugh, not around Jack, who has this weird Genji hang up.

" I wouldn't let it concern you, we have our watch in fifteen minutes..." said Hanzo.

I wanted to respond that he's my son, so I can let it bother me if I want too, and how I process comments and situations is how I process things and it's no ones place to say anything... but I'm also on edge in general.

" just drop him by our room before" said Jack, as he offered a hand to help me up.

" of course" replied Hanzo.

" thank you for being... well for playing along with everything" I said to Winston and Hanzo.

" my pleasure" said Winston " besides I needed the break".

Hanzo just bowed his head to the side slightly and walked to his room.

Jack's arm linked into mine while we entered our room, he slid off his mask and gave me a quick kiss. But I could feel his tension.

" what's wrong?, if it's what Winston said then I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it, you know John looks up to you" I said as I began twisting a strand of my hair anxiously.

" nothing's wrong " he said as he let out a long breath.

My brows knitted together , is it possible for me to read him wrong.

" the only thing wrong is that we only have fifteen minutes" he said as his thumb popped my chin up towards him as he pulled me into a long and passionate kiss.

" you did great babe" he said when he broke free.

" uh? What?"

" pretending, I knew you had it in you, you made John happy " said Jack.

I smiled " how ridiculous did it look to walk into it all?"

" amazingly ridiculous" he said with a laugh, his mouth was in a permanent smile now. His expression peacefully carefree, as he gave me a tight squeeze.

Then came the knock of Genji and John, jack turned and put on his mask while I opened the door.

" thank you Genji!" I said.

" it was my pleasure" he responded as he walked off to do his watch.

John leapt at me and I snuggled him tightly to my chest.

" did you have fun today?" I asked.

" I did! You should be more fun all the time" said John as he dropped down and ran to Jack. I chewed on my lip, I tried I truly tried...

" John, that wasn't a very nice thing to say " said Jack.

" but it was the truth" said John.

" it's fine, I could try being more fun" I replied as I flopped onto the bed, John jumped after me and began playing with my hair as he sat next to me. I rolled onto my side to scoop him into a snuggle, but he was so wiggly.

" mooooommy I want to play more!" He said as he wriggled out of my grip.

" okay sweet boy" I replied as I rolled onto my back and then slowly sat up. Jack was peering at his phone for awhile while John and I colored.

" ah! They have arrived safe" said Jack as he looked at a piece of old tech that was buzzing in his hand.

" it's about time" I mumbled.

" who arrived safe ?" Asked John.

" Lena, Jesse... lucio and Hana" I said.

" they are back?" He said sitting upright.

" no no! They arrived somewhere else" I said.

John frowned and threw down a crayon.

" hey.." I softly said " what's wrong?"

" I miss my friends" whined John.

I rubbed his shoulders gently and kissed his head while he whined into me for a few minutes. I glanced over at Jack who seemed at a loss for words and just arched a brow and returned to his phone.

" you'll see them again"

" but what if something happens to them? " he whined.

" we have plans in place darling" I said calmly.

" but you had them for me!" He howled and began shaking.

I placed my hands on his cheeks and looked him in the eyes " we did all we could for her, but Hana and Lucio they know how to fight, and Lena and Jesse have been with us for a very very long time, the chances of anything happening to them is small, okay my darling?" I said carefully, as I searched his face for a response. He just buried his face into my chest and sobbed some more while I rubbed his back. Jack walked over and held us both, you could feel his heart pound. This is definitely one of the harder parts, I need to remain strong for both of them right now.

Jack's forehead bumped mine and he let out a sigh, our eyes locked for a moment when he mouthed ' thanks ' and I just nodded. I can only handle so much at once and this is about all I can handle.

Ana's quick knock broke the moment, and Jack stood up quickly to open it as she rushed inside.

" dinner?" She asked.

" oh uh..." I started.

" you don't have to do anything, I can bring it in here and we can eat together, Winston already ate so he won't feel left out if he noticed... " said Ana quickly, her hands planted on her hips as she looked at all of us.

I just shrugged when Jack looked at me.

" it's settled then, make room for us and I'll be right back with it" said Ana. Jack rearranged the small table and Fareeha knocked with two extra chairs dragging behind her that she placed next to the table, behind her was Ana with a delicious smelling curry.

John was excitedly running around Fareeha's knees as we moved to sit down.

I pulled my hair back and out of my face, Ana pulled a large bottle of wine out of her jacket and popped it open.

" I know I know your watch is next, but one couldn't hurt" said Ana, but Jack just shook his head, Ana frowned for a moment then relented and poured some for me.

I'm probably going to need the whole damn bottle to feel slightly tipsy, but the taste alone should mellow my nerves. I felt Jack's hand reach for mine under the table and I held it happily. John was telling Fareeha and Ana about our day in great detail. I'm just happy to have a dinner like we used to back when... ugh this is just so wonderful and such a perfect end to an emotional day.

Ana kept refilling my glass as she recalled war stories with Jack, it felt like no time had passed since we last did this, but also like an eternity had passed.

The warm yet bitter beverage began to make my eyelids feel heavier, I leaned closer to Jack, his voice echoed through his body as my ear rested on his shoulder. Comfortable, warm and happy.

He turned his head slightly to kiss my forehead while he continued his conversation.

" you know what is really nice?" Said Fareeha out of the blue.

" what darling?" Asked Ana. Fareeha gestured at us, " them, seeing them like this... it's sweet and I cannot believe I'm saying that. Even as a little girl I knew that there was something between you two..."

I felt a blush creep onto my face and I hid my face for a moment in Jack's shoulder.

" they were good at just barely sliding under the rules, believe me... it was like they were married to their work which is why no one could deny their ability to do their jobs. It was complicated, more so for them. But it is sweet" said Ana with a large mischievous smile.

" what are you talking about?" Said John.

Ana glanced at us and Fareeha made an oh fuck face.

" they are just talking about how much I love your mother" said Jack.

" gross" mumbled John.

Jack smiled and shook his head with a laugh.

" one day you won't think it's so gross, you may find your someone " said Ana.

John scrunched up his face and frowned while making an enthusiastic 'no' reaction.

" oh well, he is at that age!" Said Ana with a hint of sentimentality.

Fareeha rolled her eyes and shoved some food into her mouth to avoid saying something she might regret.

" I'm almost five" said John as if to prove a point.

" and what did you want to do this year?" Asked Fareeha.

" uhmmmmm" started John.

Thank goodness that she is bringing it up, since she's been the one around for all of them, and for once I won't let the guilt get to me... or that's the wine talking.

" movies and cake? Oh! Or now that we have a group we can do laser tag!" Exclaimed Fareeha.

" laser tag?" Asked John.

" yeah, you've seen it! The fake guns with sensors that go off and beep when you get shot"

" you shoot people?!" Asked John

" no no, it's like shooting them with light, nobody gets hurt" said Fareeha.

Oh I am not getting into this tonight, I just sigh into Jack's ear and he stifled a laugh. It's not that I hate fun, I just... fuck it's whatever my kid wants to do. Goodness knows my parents did a lot they didn't want to do for me. Or just, didn't show up at all, I felt my hand grip Jack's harder.

" maybe we can discuss that at a later time" suggested Jack.

" oh no, it's fine, I was just in my head" I said softly.

" okay, well I need to leave soon, sooo I'm going to take a moment with ange then leave, if that's okay?" Said Jack.

Fareeha and Ana nodded, while Jack said goodbye to John for the evening. He was upset but it's something that has to be done.

Jack helped me up from my chair and he secured his mask with the other hand as we left the room, we went to the storage closet again and he looked into my eyes.

" you won't figure out what I'm thinking" I said with a smile.

" well I can guess one thing you are thinking, but the rest is a mystery" he said as I blushed.

" I was just thinking about how my parents supported whatever I wanted, even if they weren't there for most of it" I said

He nodded and hugged me tightly.

" I just want to be there, and be supportive and not be so anti- play war games and stuff, it's just that's been my life, well our life. Being surrounded by it inside and outside is hard, but i also understand that is the world we live in... " I sighed.

His hand cupped my chin as he tilted my head up to face him.

" Angela, you are an amazing mother, and every parent has something they want to keep their kids away from. Considering our circumstances I don't blame you for how you feel, try to feel less guilty my love" he said.

I circled my arms around his neck and pulled myself up with a little jump as I wrapped my legs around him. He let out a startled laugh as his eyes squinted in joy, I nudged my nose against his before kissing him. His hands gripped my ass as he returned the passion into his kiss.

" maybe we should get someone to watch John later" he sighed between kisses.

" I thought you enjoyed the thrill of not knowing" I teased back. He lightly growled into my ear and nibbled on the lobe, eliciting a small restrained moan.

" fine fine " I giggled and half moaned until he finally let my ear go.

" that's what I thought!" He said as he gently helped me down from his strong ankles felt weak as he rubbed the small of my back and gave me another kiss.

" I need to go now my love" he said gently. I nodded and kissed him again as he put his mask back on and gave my hand a final squeeze as we left and went our separate ways.

I reentered our room and they were all giggling about something or another, I sat down with them again and smiled.

Fareeha looked over at me and smiled back, I missed her being nice to me, so this is a gift.

" we were just talking about your game you played today, and were impressed with your channeling of the dark side" said Ana

I finished my drink before responding " ha, it was something" I said.

John giggled began to hop around.

" so much energy today!" Said Fareeha " wanna go race?" She asked.

" yessss" exclaimed John.

Ana and I began to gather the dishes as we headed outside of the room and to the kitchen.

Fareeha and John bumped into Winston who agreed to run around with them. It's good to get some form of exercise down here.

Ana and I began to do the dishes, the silence was nice for a moment.

" I think you are doing just fine" said Ana suddenly.

" what makes you say that?"

" you worry too much, you always have, sometimes you just need to let kids be kids" she said with a grin.

" excellent point, it was nice tonight, thank you so much for the delicious food, and the chance to feel normal again" I said softly as I scrubbed the dishes.

" think nothing of it, I've been wanting to do that for awhile, we just never had the chance" she replied as she leaned over to fill the kettle.

A rather large race was happening in the hallway and it was getting increasingly loud. I dried the dishes and put them away, happily accepting tea from Ana. The slight tingle of wine still pumping through me as I exhaled.

" Fareeha and I have been contemplating an outing, since I have my masks here as well... but I'm not sure how the base will do with two less... we will probably wait til the others return, you could wear a headscarf and blend in if you wanted to take John? " mused Ana.

" that would be nice" I replied, getting out would be incredible... but I wanted to go out as a family and I'm not sure we could disguise Jack well enough.

" we could have him grow out his facial hair and temporarily color it?" Said Ana as if reading my mind.

I glanced over at her and held back a laugh.

" has he done that?" I asked.

" a few times, especially when you were in busier cities during the day"

" what?!" I shouted.

" yeah, he looks totally different but he hated it" chuckled Ana.

" he never could stand stubble , it drove him crazy, long nights made him so bitter" a laugh escaped my lips.

" it didn't help that Reyes would constantly be trying to sabotage his shaving kits"

" but he couldn't because I would always carry extras" I let out a happy sigh before hearing a loud crash and John screaming in pain.

I barely felt my feet hit the ground as I raced down the halls to the sound of his yelling, it can't be intruders... if it was that would mean, no no.

Winston was frantic and Fareeha was trying to remain calm while Genji was crouched down next to my kid.

" let Angela in" barked Fareeha. Winston stepped aside, bone was poking out of John's arm.

" oh darling" I gasped out, his little face was bright red and he was screaming.

" moooooommmy" he was screaming.

"Winston get him to my room as fast as you can " I said then I turned to Genji

"In the supply room there is a blue medical bag, can you grab that for me please ?" I asked. Genji nodded and took off scarcely touching the ground. Winston scooped up John and we ran towards my room. I flung open the door and cleared off the table as Winston set him down.

Genji pounced in and dropped the bag next to me. I began digging through it until I found the pain medication and numbing agent.

" alright my darling, this will just pinch a little " I said as I injected him, his little face cried silent tears as his eyes closed. That worked almost too fast, but pain can cause this.

" can I be of any more help?" Asked Winston.

" no no, I'm fine, thank you though" I said with a sigh as I inspected his arm, a clean break... fairly normal for kids, but the bones sticking out were mildly concerning, truly I want them gone because this will heal soon. I started a timer on my phone and watched Genji and Winston leave, then I turned to set the bones into place and sterilized the wounds. The skin went grey for a minute or two, veins jutted out and his body shook. My heart began to race, this isn't how I heal... I felt a tightness in my throat. His still little body on the table in front of me as I sunk down into a chair, studying everything that was happening.

The door swung open and I glanced up.

" is he okay?" Asked Jack, the door slammed behind him and I flinched. Quickly wiping the tears I didn't notice earlier off my face.

" just a break" I said my chin quivered.

" just a break?!" Stated Jack.

" yes, kids break things all the time... just not ours" I said softly as I looked at the wound again, the skin was healed but still mottled.

" did you use something new?" Asked Jack.

" no... that's just. That's how he heals " I sighed.

Jack's eyes looked so worried and so lost, but he just patted my shoulders.

" that's some fast healing " he said.

" faster than mine in some ways, it was completely sticking out of the skin, I may have injected him with some medication "

" could that cause the discoloration?"

" no, not at all. I'm just wondering when or if it will go away" I said softly.

" well there are worse things than scars " said Jack.

I nodded.

" help me get him to bed" I asked. Jack gently lifted him up and carried him over to his bed, I fashioned a small arm brace just to make sure it healed properly, I placed it on our son and stepped back with Jack.

" do you need to leave?" I asked.

" it's fine, it was near the end of mine anyways and Winston said he didn't mind a turn"

I sat down on the bed and let the tears just fall down.

" hey, he's going to be okay" comforted Jack.

" we don't know that " I hissed softly.

" yes we do, you are the greatest doctor currently alive, you know what you are doing and this is nothing compared to other things you have done, for how smart you are you sure can be stupid " he said that last bit with some sass and I just glanced over at him frowning.

"The face of an angel" he cooed.

" Jack I swear... I'm in no mood" I grunted.

" oh wait! Save that expression, it's perfect for Vader, a little more angst ange" he teased. I want to slap him.

" you are the worst " I mumbled.

" only because you are the best " he said as he pulled me closer, I rested my head on his shoulder.

" but really, you are the smartest person I know in the medical field-"

" ah in the medical field , met a lot of doctors have you?" I teased back.

" wouldn't you like to know" he responded and I bit my tongue and frowned.

" oh hush, you know you are the only doctor for me" he said kissing my temple, his hand rubbed my shoulder with force.

My adrenaline was going every which way right now, the worry about John, the entire fucking day... how will I cure him.

" angel... angel... " said Jack, he pressed two fingers to my pulse points.

" hey darling, it's okay, I promise beautiful, we will make this okay" he said pulling me into his lap, I tucked my feet onto his thigh and squeezed him as tightly as I could. Despite the hiding and whatever is going on with my son, I have my son, and I have my Jack back in my life.

" you are shaking again" whispered Jack.

" now it's happiness" I sighed.

He squeezed me back " you are so weird sometimes, how do you think he will handle this?" He asked.

" well, he's usually eager to get hurt to show me how quickly he can heal, so I don't think he will be too alarmed. The medicine will cut down on the pain, because regrowing bones is pain... but at the accelerated rate, well you know how that feels. Uhm. So I think he will be just fine" I said with a sense of certainty. Jack nodded and gave me a kiss, which I folded into his arms for.

" thank you for being the perfect, talented, stunningly beautiful and also incredibly sexy love of my life and mother of our child" whispered Jack into my ear as he pulled me down and under the covers with him.

" I know you are still stressed but you need to rest, tomorrow is a new day to worry about things" he cooed.

" I should probably check on his wound though... see if the skin color changed for my notes"

He sighed and lifted up the sheet so I could scamper out. I crept over to John, he was completely out of it, normal pulse, the bone had completely healed but the skin still showed a slight discoloration around the wound. I frowned to myself and snuck back to my notebook, quickly jotting everything down.

Then I walked back over to Jack.

" you should probably get some rest, I just need to monitor this" I said in a hushed tone. Jack frowned but he was fairly used to this back in the day.

" do what you feel is best" said Jack.

" well don't you want the best for our son?"

" he is under the best care and from the best genes, well on your side anyways" he said with a grin.

" just give me a kiss first" he added. I smiled and leaned down to kiss him when he pulled me down and ontop of him, I stifled a gasp.

" sorry I didn't mean to scare you" said jack.

" it's fine! Just... agh watch it next time" I said as I drummed my fingers on his chest.

" now you don't get a kiss" I scolded as I lifted myself off of him and walked back to John, glancing back to see Jack frowning playfully, but his eyes had the slightest flash of worry. I pulled a chair over to John's bed and readied myself for a long night.

 **A/N: Uh, yeah... so there we go. If you haven't seen star wars, then i apologize (they are great movies) but also that follows zero of the story in there, so you won't be spoiled or anything. I wanted to continue with some more glimpses inside, i have a ridiculously hard time writing John, which besides my health going up and down, is why my chapters are so far apart. Writing about kids is tough, but i hope i did him justice there.**

 **Any comments or messages are always adored and appreciated, seriously. Without LordoftheMemes, Vanderhart and Psychroxx, kittycat and my guest, i probably would be writing as a slower pace, but your encouragement and kindness are inspiring. I'm getting all kinds of emotional and rambling. Basically, if you have any ideas on where you think this is going or how you thought this chapter was, please let me know! I hope you all have a great day!**


	50. Chapter 50

**A/N: self harm trigger/content warning, if you have issues with it i will message you the chapter without it!.**

As he quietly slept I kept peering at him arm. Only minor changes, slowly returning to normal. For hours I just sat there willing it in my mind to change it, instead of trying to logically figure it out. No, being a mom is different, he got hurt. And I just injected him and put him to sleep. I started digging my nails deeper into my palms, I need to remember that day... that horrible day. My breathing got shallow for moment, Jack is alive, you don't need to worry about that. Just focus on the biggest mistake of your life, I inhaled sharply, my hands felt a slight popping sensation. Think... smoke, trying to find your papers in your lab... think. Goddamnit Angela, think think harder. But it's like there's some sort of block, like a loss of memory. I know I revived him, what chemicals had spilled? Is there documentation? He's a mix. Of three people... and then maybe a loose compound.

My brows knitted together, ask Winston for any information, try to get Ana to draw it out of you. A loud sigh exited my lips as I glanced down. My hands were slowly getting covered in blood, my palms sprung open. Scheisse.

Quickly is an understatement to how fast I reached for my medical supplies to sop up the bloody mess, the healing would be soon, just what would remain wouldn't be...

" love..." said Jack softly. Caught.

He was sitting up, his eyes blinking away sleep but I knew he knew.

" come here" he said in a soft but commanding tone.

My feet felt stuck in concrete, heal damnit, I crawled into bed and curled into his arms as he pulled my hands away from my body.

"It's okay" he said into my ear, rocking me gently as his cheek pressed against mine.

" but it's it's "

" I know" he responded, his calloused hands holding mine tightly as he wrapped them in front of me, making a safe and protected place.

After a few minutes he whispered " what caused it?"

" I'm trying to figure out if there's another factor that I'm missing" I whispered back. He grunted and rested his chin on my shoulder.

" have you been through all the files?" He asked.

" I thought so, but that.. it was-" my voice cracked and I turned to bury my face in his neck.

" I know, I know" he said tightening his grip.

" we are both safe now" he added with a gentle nose push to my cheek.

" but what about him?! What if his cells just turn into necrosis and he becomes..." I started to whisper.

" his attitude is everything, while his appearance may change he won't"

I sighed, he is right but what kind of life would that be for him? Would it even be living?

" it's clearing up isn't it?" He asked.

" yes"

" then you don't have to worry for a long time" he replied.

" we don't know that"

" no, but we do know that he still can regrow bones and flesh, so you need to look into other options" said Jack. I nodded and basked in his body heat and his comforting words and arms.

" want to play a game?" He asked softly.

" what?! " burst out of my mouth.

" welllll we have an unfinished game of monopoly from like... ten years ago?"

He said with a smile.

" are you serious?"

" I never joke about monopoly" he replied feigning hurt feelings.

I looked into his eyes for a moment. My mind searching for the honest truth, wait...

" remember after that huge mission and we both couldn't sleep, because you had to stay awake in case of Liao going into a cardiac episode, and I had to stay up to handle any of the aftermath of the explosion and follow up calls?, the UN was breathing down our back and Torbjorn had his board games laying around?"

Then it clicked... what a stressful fucking night.

" but how do you remember where we left off? We tried finishing it numerous times, each time recording all the data, well it just so happens I keep those notes stored on my old burner phone. " said Jack.

" what is wrong with you?"

" probably a lot of stress... missing you and knowing that that stupid game would constantly be our late night thing... next to ice cream and sex" he responded with a cheeky grin.

I let out and sigh and nodded " proceed " I said.

He smiled as he pulled out the old phone, carefully entering the information into his holopad as the game was set up.

" oh now, I believe you are cheating, I know I owned kings row" I said glancing down at the properties I had.

" no, I bought it off of you, it was a horrible move of mine but you didn't seem to mind at the time"

" probably because you were distracting me" I growled.

" oh darling, YOU were always doing the distracting " he said as he leaned over and gave me a kiss.

Glancing back down at the properties I possessed I knew that it wasn't looking good for me.

" scared to lose?" He teased.

" possibly" I replied as i furrowed my brows.

I glared at him and spun the dice, a weird thing in an app which I swear had always been biased towards him.

My legs tucked under me, I moved the Medicine bag piece down the road promptly ending in jail.

Even Jack looked disappointed.

" want me to lend you the money?" He asked.

" I can pay to get myself out!" I exclaimed as I made the transaction.

We played for what seemed like hours, I somehow got kings row back and oasis.

" I'm disappointed... we had a lot of fun there" he said wistfully. I felt my cheeks flush for a moment, oasis was absolutely a wonder.

They had run out of rooms, after some of the lower ranking members had rooms, they said Jack and I would have to share a suite. It was two bedrooms, which made for an easy concealment and led to a very busy night. No surface was safe from us, the roaring fire providing a warm glow as we explored every inch of each other.

" we should go back sometime " said Jack wistfully.

" oh?" I said.

" oasis is the one place they wouldn't look for anyone" he whispered, looking deeply lost in thought.

The champagne was flowing freely, the deserts melted in your mouth within moments of contact. A smile crept onto my face, a momentary reprieve from everything. Even if it's just a dream it's a perfect dream... he leaned over and kissed my cheek before looking back down at the game.

" oh look where I landed" he murmured as he looked up and smiled.

" don't you dare" I squeaked.

" I dare" he replied mischievously as he bought back oasis and planted a mansion on it.

I grunted and leaned down, propping my head onto my hands.

" the medication should be wearing off soon" I muttered looking at the time.

" lovely, I'm going to go make food, because John will probably be exhausted and want something comforting" said Jack " and you are going to need a hell load of coffee"

I nuzzled his neck and he grunted " ange..." he murmured.

" yes?"

" I'm going to go do that okay?" He said.

I relented and curled up away from him, he responded by stroking my neck for a moment before leaving.

I rolled back over and stared at John, his little chest rose and fell with his breathe. I have so much to do today, I let out a sigh and brushed out my hair. Thankfully now fully restored to its natural color, all of the rinses stripped away what little fragments of color remained. What a stupid thing to think about right now, then again minds work in mysterious ways. Not too mysterious thankfully, the brain protects the psyche from becoming too overloaded, or that's what I like to think. Perhaps it's the years with Genji, and his discussions of Zenyatta. I closed my eyes tightly and sat up as straight as I could on the rickety bed, each piece of my spine clicking into place, taking in a large breathe for five seconds, holding it then exhaling for fifteen. Trying desperately to clear my mind and focus on what needed to be sorted. ' Jack says you have time, he's in the early stages of

whatever this is... prevent injury and the rapidness of it shouldn't take place'. Exhale...

Hold that thought ' everything will be fine, how many degrees do you have?' Inhale...' too many to count at this moment' exhale.

Inhale... ' oh my god he made French toast '. My concentration broken as I concerned myself with how the hell he found ingredients. I opened the door when I heard his footsteps and he walked in quietly setting down the plates.

" I'll be right back" he said. I restrained a squeak of joy as I looked at what he created. Within moments he had a large thermos of coffee and sat it down, as the door closed I pounced up at him.

He quieted a laugh as he squeezed me tightly.

" is that toast?" Came a small happy voice.

Jack spun me around to look at our son.

" yes, I did the best I could with what we have here, Ana pitched in some of her nutmeg creamer and well, it just oddly worked " said Jack as he took off his mask.

" how are you feeling?" I asked softly.

" hungry " said John as he got up, he then realized the sling on his arm and began fidgeting with it immediately.

" moooooom" he shouted.

Jack set me down and I began to inspect his arm, the break had fully healed so did the scar but a shadow remained on his skin for now. It wasn't noticeable unless you knew what to look for.

" go eat mein love" I said softly, his little eyes got big as he raced over to the table. My heart pounded for a moment thinking what if he fell again, chokes on food? Stabs himself with cutlery?

" stop worrying for a moment and eat " whispered Jack.

I couldn't barely taste the food, what I did was delicious but my heart felt stuck in my stomach, these stupid nerves are wrecking me.

" what's wrong mommy?" Asked John as he looked at me between bites.

" I have a lot of work today" I said trying to push out a false happy face.

" does that mean I get to be with daddy all day?" He squeaked.

" sure thing bud" said Jack.

I quickly drank the coffee and glanced at the time, Winston should be up now.

" I'll be back a little later" I said suddenly.

Jack nodded and John gave me a hug.

" can you go set up the game we were going to play?" Asked Jack while glancing at John. John agreed and walked over to his toys while Jack turned to me.

" don't overthink it today" he whispered before kissing me, his hand lingered on my cheek.

As I approached the room Winston was staying in, the door was already open. I still knocked and he turned around and asked how John was doing.

" he's fine, slept well and is more playful than yesterday" I remarked.

" that is good to hear" he kindly said.

" yes, yes it is... but I do have a question to ask of you"

" ask away!"

" you wouldn't happen to have the reports regarding the state of my lab when the bomb went off? " I said my voice fizzling in and out during my request.

" unfortunately, we don't have much information regarding that, we had some findings but nothing overly informative.

I sighed and probably looked more annoyed than I should display.

" your portion of the trial is online, thanks to the people demanding to know... anyways maybe you knew then?" He asked.

" are there transcripts? I don't know if I can handle watching" I said softly.

" maybe, I can look into it and get back to you, but the full trial wasn't aired so those details may not be in there unless I found less than reputable sources, which could open us up to the risk of being found" his voice replied sounded solemn.

I slumped down in the chair near him and had to gather my thoughts.

" if there was a legal way of acquiring the documents.." I started

" for you there is no legal way, I don't mean to bring you down but-"

" thank you Winston that will be all" I said cutting him off and storming out of the room.

There has to be a way, there just has to be. Jack and John were running down the hall, Jack stopped immediately when he saw me and I just shook my head.

" hey Genji can you watch John for a minute?" I asked as he was passing by.

" of course" he replied holding out his hand for John as they rushed around.

" so... he says he doesn't remember and that it's probably not available besides the snippets of the trial" I grunted.

Jack nodded and stroked my cheek, I can't help but feel completely defeated.

" well, could you get ahold of anymore of the records?" He asked.

" not unless I turned myself in, or got someone to hack into the database... which would be more trouble than I'm already in" I said.

He stood silently for a moment before pulling me into his chest and whispering as softly as he could in the mask " we will just have to remember then". I could feel my eyes widen in panic.

" it's for our son, I can't keep running from it " his voice was barely audible. I knew how much this pained him, it was tearing me apart and I cannot imagine what he is going through.

"Sorge dich nicht" ( do not worry) he said as he titled my chin up. Despite the mask I just couldn't bear to look at him.

"ich bin besorgt" ( I am worried) I replied hastily.

" I know, just go work on something, we will bring you coffee and later we can watch something " said Jack reassuring me as best he could.

" danke" ( thank you)

I walked to the room and pulled out my notes, if he can remember I will try harder. It was a horrible day for me, but for him... scheisse.

I was working on the regeneration, what else... Then it clicked, looking up the newest viral outbreak during that time period.

The next few hours came a process of elimination, with Jack stopping in to give me coffee and at one point I think he ate with John, I'm trapped in my own world right now. I had a few things narrowed down that I had cured within that time period, thanks to medical archives and wiki articles. A slight pang of longing to be out there and discovering new ways to treat medical problems ate away at me. I could feel John pushing his face into my back as I self loathed.

" mommy say goodnight!" He whined.

" hmmm? gute Nacht mein Schatz" ( good night my darling )

" huh?!" He responded. I flipped back to face him.

" gute means good... nacht means night and mein means my and then that leaves us with..." I paused for a moment as I looked at him.

" schatz " he said looking proud.

" which means darling... so what does that mean all together?" I asked.

" good night my darling " said John after a moment of squirming around and thinking.

" Sehr gut, very good"

" sehr gut" he repeated.

" yes... sehr gut, emphasis on the z instead of sssss sound" I stated. He smiled up at me and kissed me on the cheek, I pulled him into a hug.

" now... schlaf " I said motioning for him to get moving. He frowned and glanced at me.

" sleep... John. To sleep" I said softly.

" you need sleep" he argued.

" I do need sleep, so does daddy" I said.

" he has watch soon, come sleep with me til I fall asleep" he whined.

I glanced at Jack who was picking up some toys.

" I do have to leave soon" he said with a slight shrug.

" alright fine" I said as I walked over to John's bed, he snuggled in and I curled up next to him.

" awww" cooed Jack, he had finished cleaning and walked over to us, messing with John's hair and kissing my forehead.

" John get to sleep but if you wake up because mommy is working too hard, you tell her to sleep"

" okay daddy" said John as he nestled against me.

The door opened and closed as he left, and John's sleepy little face and warm snuggle hold on me was making me extremely tired.

I nearly punched Jack when he carefully woke me up, he lifted me up and I melted against him as he placed us in bed.

" I missed you " he murmured. I just sighed in agreement and tucked my head under his chin.

When I woke up for real I had John nestled against my back and I was still tucked into Jack. Their warmth made me feel so comfortable, so loved and all I want to do is stay like this.

Jack's eyes fluttered open, a smile formed on his face as he leaned over to pull me closer, John whined in his sleep and rolled against me.

" ah" Jack softly muttered and I nodded.

He kissed my lips before closing his eyes again and letting sleep take over again.

I am awake, my body wants to do more, I carefully untangled myself from them and crept over to the corner of the room, the dim glow of the screen providing light as I researched what was happening outside these walls. A new virus, nothing too serious, all the medical reports pointing to a simple cure, that they weren't figuring out. I let a spurt of air leave my lips as I tried to blow a strand of hair away from my face. Glancing down at a clean page in my medical journal I began to write out how to cure the virus. Tedious work but it would be worth it, I would make it if I had a lab.

Hours passed until I was completely satisfied with my hypothesis, I began translating it to Spanish , hopefully to send it out when someone went into town. I would need to copy it again while wearing gloves and using different paper, so it couldn't be traced.

" morning beautiful " said Jack, I jumped from the abrupt noise.

The slight creak of the bed as he got up. John still completely asleep, as he approached me.

" did you figure something out?" He whispered into my ear as his arms encompassed my shoulders.

" for the current virus going around..." I mumbled.

" that's wonderful" he said as he buried his face into my hair.

" it's nothing, It was a basic formula that the medical journals kept forgetting " my voice sounded more frustrated than anything.

" but they couldn't figure it out, and you did in how long?"

" I figured it out almost immediately but writing down what would work to treat it took longer"

His hands rubbed my shoulders, I rolled my head back to look up at him.

" we can send it out with Ana when she goes out, she can drop it in a mail bin and whoooosh! The brilliant doctor Angela Ziegler saves the day again" he said as he leaned down to kiss my lips, his chin bumped my nose in the upside down kiss.

" you two are so gross" groaned John, his voice still groggy from waking up.

" we do it just to bug you" said Jack.

" ughhh" he groaned as he pulled the covers over his head.

He peeked out his head for a moment to yell " food!" Then disappeared.

" John... say please" I responded.

" no" came his muffled reply.

" ah well, no food for you then" I replied.

He started whining loudly and Jack and I just shared a mutual look of understanding.

" John..." I softly said.

He stopped crying for a moment to peer out.

" ask your father nicely " I said sternly.

He huffed, rolled around and whined.

" John!" Barked Jack, not an angry bark just more stern than usual.

" dad, can I pleaaaase have food" he said while pouting.

" that's better but not great, but okay" said Jack as he kissed my forehead and slid on his mask before leaving.

" why are you so mean today?" Asked John.

" I'm sorry darling, I wasn't trying to be mean, I just wanted you to be polite" I said fighting my own emotions. My son calling me mean is not what I needed, probably any day.

" also it's rude to call someone mean when they just want you to be nice" I added.

" but mom" started John.

" you know I love you, and I don't ever mean to be mean"

" I love you too" he responded.

" can I have a hug please?" I asked softly.

Within seconds he lunged at me and I scooped him up, holding him in my arms as he squeezed me as tight as he could. Considering the fact that he does have serum in him he is abnormally strong for a kid his age.

" John too tight my darling " I said. He loosened his grip and just sat on my lap.

" can I look at your arm?" My voice tried to remain neutral but in reality I'm

Worried.

He held out his little arm, the slight discoloration was almost normal again and I can relax more. I kissed his cheek and he started wriggling again.

" sehr gut!" He exclaimed.

" ah! Sehr gut! Mein leibe!" ( very good my love) I replied with pride.

The door opened with Jack balancing food and coffee.

" I'll help!" Shouted John as he ran over and jack handed him a plate.

We had a relaxed breakfast and John wanted to see what Fareeha was doing so Jack took him to go check it out. As I looked over the news I noticed the advertisement for Lucio's concert and smiled to myself. That would be tomorrow night.

I didn't noticed Jack returning and laying down next to me.

I lifted up my arm as he laid his head on my chest.

" hey" he said softly, I stroked his hair absently before looking at a strand or two in shock.

" Jack, do you color your hair?"

He furrowed his brow and looked up at me.

" sorry, just a question " I said quickly.

" well, truthfully... it went white after the explosion, but in the years it started to shift between the two, some of it will grow blonde, but the majority is white. The patches drive me crazy so I just do it" said Jack with a sigh.

I ran my hands through his hair again stroking his scalp gently.

" that happens with trauma" i mumbled.

His eyes closed as he softly mumbled in agreement. Sometimes these little revelations make everything I get annoyed at seem like very small things.

" I love you" I whispered. His hold on me tightened for a moment then loosened, a sigh of contentment left his lips. My hands made their way to his shoulders, I carefully rubbed at the tension knots deep in his shoulders, he grunted when they sorted out.

After awhile he looked up at me, his face totally relaxed.

"I love you, thank you" he said as he smiled.

" of course, I forget how horrible your shoulders are " He moved his body next to mine, and motioned for me to lay on him now, I tucked myself against his body and he securely held me in place.

"When does everyone return?" I asked into his chest.

" we don't know yet.." said Jack. " the concert is tomorrow and nothing should happen since the news hasn't buzzed anything about Hana and Lucio being involved with us. Just their relationship" he brushed his hands through my hair.

" however we do know that Reinhardt will be returning with Torbjorn" he said.

I smiled and turned to look up at him, his eyes had a distant look for a moment.

" Lena and Jesse ?" I asked hopefully.

" I don't think we could send those two away for long if we tried" he replied.

" I also just want a lab again" I sighed.

" well we do have some of your supplies to make a makeshift mini lab"

" do you really think we will be here long enough for that?" My voice shook.

" I don't know darling but the base still hasn't detected anything"

That is more good news for now at least.

" however talon has struck a few places... causalities reported but there's nothing we can do in such small numbers right now" he sighed.

" any reason why?" I asked

" why does talon do anything? Chaos... that's all the news is saying " he grunted. I crept up closer to him my nose touching his cheek, he turned his head and kissed the tip of my nose.

" don't worry my love, soon we will figure something out"

" I thought there was a plan?"

" there's a few but we are working on all of it and the safest options"

I let out a sigh and traced my finger down his neck.

" distract me?" I asked gently.

" gladly" he replied as he leaned over covering me in kisses.

Later that evening as I laid next to him with only a blanket wrapped around me, the door had a rapid knock of Fareeha.

" scheisse" I groaned as I quickly began to pull on clothes, at least we both had a very psychical and loving distraction for awhile.

Jack waited for me to finish dressing and switching out the sheets, before opening the door to Fareeha holding a sleeping John.

" thank you" I said to her and she just grinned and handed John to Jack.

" anything to help, and it seems I helped" she said with a wink to me.

I let out a groan and shook my head at her.

" what?!" She said as she poked her tongue out and giggled.

" Fareeha... " said Jack sternly.

Fareeha threw a hand up to her chest in mock fear.

" oddly enough that will always strike a brief moment of fear in me, it's worse when Wilhelm does it, I panic " she said in a serious voice.

" I don't blame you" I said with a smile at her.

" don't get me wrong I love him, but the minute he raises his voice and I'm out of there!" She laughed for a moment then turned to leave.

" thank you again" I said

" anytime" she replied as she left.

Jack touched my chin lightly.

" I have my watch in an hour but I can lay down with you for a bit before" he said.

These things make me love him more and more, his ability to make me feel comfortable always.

We cuddled in the bed, his hands gently rubbing my back as I began to fall asleep.

 **A/N: I want to quickly apologize because this one doesn't really advance anything but it's necessary. I'm mostly apologizing because chapters like these take the longest for me to be okay with. However there's some moments that I really like and that's definitely thanks to my lovely friend lordofthememes, so massive shoutout to them for always being great and for giving me the happy ideas for downtime , thank you so much to all of you who read or who take the time to follow or favorite or comment. Believe me, anything you say helps. Even just a " yay! " or a " this is terrible" whichever. Whatever. I hope you all have a great day! And oh my goodness so much excitement for junkertown going live on overwatch! THIS IS THE 50TH CHAPTER! AHHHHHHHH**


	51. Chapter 51

The morning went normally, except I finally had all the lab notes for the current viral infection antibiotic written out. On completely clean and untraceable paper that Ana was going to drop off when she ventured out today. I could actually feel good about that and feel good because John and I had a fun time practicing German.

Jack had spent the majority of the morning talking with Ana about her trip in town with Fareeha, just making sure they had everything set up for safety.

He returned to the room and slumped down in the chair.

" is everything okay?" I asked.

" busy day for everyone! I have to take over their watch in a few, then Winston will take over, and just waiting for the concert to end is going to be..." he stopped himself as John looked up at him.

" I wish I could go!" Said John.

" not until you are much older" said Jack.

I smirked and pulled out the tablet for John to play with, which he grabbed out of my hands with glee.

I approached Jack and he weakly smiled for me, so I kissed his cheek and perched myself on his knee. He pulled me back against him and buried his face in my neck and hair that was down for once today.

" yeah?" I said with a giggle.

" yeah" he said with a sigh.

" everything will be fine, it's a tough group accompanying him" I said.

" I'm not worried I'm just tired" he said.

" I can take the watch if you want?, or switch with Winston darling..."

" you know how you are on watches... you start self loathing when just staring" he teased but there was truth to his statement.

" or I think Hanzo has proven himself to be alone" I said.

Jack blew on my hair, causing everything to tickle, my hand flew up to instinctively swat.

" just consider taking a later one. Please" I said.

He grunted and tapped my shoulder gently before lifting me off of him.

" fine fine" he said shaking his head.

" you know I'm right, and you would never let someone who is tired be a lookout" my voice was commanding.

" yes ma'am " he said saluting me as he turned for the doors. John giggled and imitated him while Jack adjusted his mask.

" don't mock your father! " I said with a laugh.

" I'll be back" and the door closed.

" my darling, if he needs to sleep what are we going to do?" I asked.

" take a nap?"

" are you tired?"

" a little... but I want to help"

I hugged him against me while silently thanking the universe for such a good kid.

" I have an idea! How about we draw?" I asked him. John's little face lit up as he grabbed his crayons and placed them in front of us.

I reached for the spare sheets of paper and handed some to him, I leaned against the wall as he happily began to draw. His little brow furrowed and his tongue poking out of his mouth in concentration.

I watched him out of the corner of my eye while I glanced at the news.

More ads about Lucio, Hana song live streaming the concert tonight!

I wish we could watch, but that would probably just make things worse.

A few trashy articles about Lucio and Hana, not trashy because of Lucio and Hana just trashy because you know the article is just a bunch of made up things.

Until... scheisse. The meeting of Hana and Lucio back when she was being recruited stuck out. Maybe sending the same recruiting team was a bad idea... no... who reads this trash anyways... besides me?

There's got to be more about this, wait no. This is just random bait, don't go further down the rabbit hole!

" mom look! " said John as he pushed the drawing into my hands. He's not bad for someone about to turn five. He's actually quiet impressive, Jack and I weren't artists so wherever this was coming from is interesting.

" very wonderful darling" I said as I looked at it, clearly one was him, outside with a dog... great.

" someday" he said with a smile.

" I hope so!" I said, Jack returned into the room and flung his mask on the bed.

" you hope so?" He asked.

" John drew something" I said apprehensively.

" look daddy!" Said John as he held up the picture. Jack smiled weakly and patted John on his head.

" someday I want a dog" said John with a glimmer of hope in his eyes.

" only if you can be responsible and take care of one" said Jack sighing as he sat on the bed and removed his boots.

" yes! I can be" said John.

I picked up the tablet and began looking for something to be his virtual pet.

" when do you have to leave?" I asked as I scrolled.

" I'm taking the next one" sighed Jack as he laid down.

" okay, we can go elsewhere or? "

" nap nap!" Squeaked John.

Jack grunted and held out his arms as we snuggled on each side of him.

His hand gently rubbed my shoulder as we dozed off.

The soft beeping of his alarm woke us up. Jack swatted at the snooze button and pressed his lips to my neck, gently planting a kiss at the base.

I was now awake as the two joys of my life slept soundly.

When the alarm went off again, Jack got up, running his hands through his hair and turning to smile at us.

" I'll be back in two hours, it's a short one" he said.

" has Ana returned?"

" probably in an hour according to her last report" he replied as he shrugged into his jacket.

" okay, I'm glad she is safe" I said glancing at John sleeping.

Jack's hands carefully pushed back the hair covering my neck as he placed a kiss on my jawbone.

I reached up toward his face and he leaned in to kiss my lips.

They brushed against mine and I pulled him closer, feeling a smile form on his mouth before he pulled away.

" I'll be back soon my love" he said.

I nodded and reached for my notebook as he left.

While John continued to nap I worked some more on the process of elimination of my pre-explosion lab.

" mom?"

" hmmm?"

" is daddy unhappy ?"

I put down my notebook and turned to him, trying to disguise the sadness etched on my face.

" he's very happy "

" then why is he so angry"

" he's not angry, he just has a lot to do... you know whenever you want to play one thing, but you have to clean up some other things first?"

" yes" his voice sounded confused.

" well, when you have a lot of work to do, sometimes you get sad, or seem upset. It doesn't mean he's actually upset or in a bad mood, he just needs to remain focused" I explained carefully, trying had to word it appropriately.

" I think I understand"

" that is because you are so smart"

" Genji said you are smart"

" well that was very kind of him" my smile beamed at John.

We watched the empire strikes back while waiting for Jack to return. John was frantically jumping around and making light saber noises while I watched.

Jack returned and closed the door slowly, John looked up for a moment from Star Wars but went back to watching after waving hello.

I glanced at him curiously and he just shrugged as he sat next to me. I had been absently writing a list of health problems during the explosion.

The light thunk of his mask hitting the bed as he moved closer to me, resting his head on my shoulder.

"etwas stimmt nicht?" ( something wrong?)

" just anxious" he replied

" monopoly?" I asked, he cracked a smile for a moment before kissing my cheek.

" alright" he said.

After a few minutes of playing unnoticed jack was off, his mood was returning to the pre- explosion attitude. He tried to hide it but I know it's there.

I reached my hand out to hold his and his eyes closed for a moment.

"unser Sohn macht sich Sorgen um dich" ( our son is worried about you).

He exhaled and nodded, his eyes peered into mine.

" Ich mach mir sorgen um dich" ( I am worried about you ) I said softly.

He stretched out his arm for me and I curled into him.

"Es tut mir leid" ( I am sorry) he said into my neck.

" speak English!" Shouted John before he turned back to his movie.

" once you learn more German you won't have to say that " I replied. John just sighed and watched Star Wars, he was starting to fall asleep as we joined him in watching.

" I think it's time for bed my darling " I said as I pushed back his shaggy hair.

" moooom" he whined.

" darling" I said in a more commanding tone. He mumbled and grumbled as he walked over to bed and settled in.

I went over to place a kiss on his head and Jack said goodnight to him.

We returned to snuggling in our bed, the soft glow of Jack's phone was the only light.

" fuck" he muttered as his heart rate increased.

" what?" I inquired.

" Jesse mccree and Lena Oxton spotted together at Lucio's concert"

" and?"

" well, it's causing a bit of some debate about overwatch, the articles about you are linked it's ... this is a mess, it could easily be explained or written off but who knows how those two will handle the questions or the press in general" he exhaled and grunted.

" they will do fine, we all studied under the great Jack Morrison " I teased trying to lighten the mood.

" so great he was supposedly killed by his once best friend and fellow comrade? So great that overwatch was held under a magnifying glass? That the one person I loved the most cannot practice medicine anymore?! So great that-"

I pressed my forehead to his as he shook.

" darling, that was years ago, they wanted your head, they made up their minds and went with it. They dragged you through the mud, but you are stronger than that. No matter what you said they would have dragged you " I whispered quickly. Trying to calm down the entire situation.

" I'm trying so hard Ange, I am. I'm trying to remain hopeful but..." his eyes glanced up at mine, the years of self loathing reaching a boiling point.

I pressed my palm to his cheek and kissed him. Trying desperately to ground him to this moment, not the past, but he pulled away.

" I would have lost my license anyways, we were having a relationship that wasn't allowed and I was pregnant. It would have been horrible for all of us"

" but we would have had a chance" he grunted.

" do you not think we have one now?"

He turned away and I could feel my chest tighten.

He had been so upbeat lately, constantly reassuring me... now this dramatic change was unsettling.

" I'm going to join you on your watches from now on"

" Angela"

" Jack... I'm doing it. Nobody will mind making sure he's okay" I whispered.

" anyways. We should probably get some rest before that" I said. He just nodded and laid down, I nestled myself into his shoulder, gently stroking his chest.

I could feel my eyes closing despite all the stress, him being open like this was helpful insight. I should have picked up on it, but I've been so preoccupied with everything lately. He's had to lift up my emotions so much and it's about time I return the favor. The watches are probably causing a lot of memories to stir up, so any chance to help distract him from those harmful thought patterns is a good thing.

" Angela?" His voice barely above a whisper.

" ja?"

He turned to face me better, as he trailed a hand down my side.

" thank you "

Our foreheads touched and he held me tighter as he settled into sleep.

He didn't have to thank me, it's something that we do, we just help each other. He would randomly touch me in his sleep state, not aggressively, gently, running his hand down my side and pulling me closer to him. It makes me wonder what he dreams about, and if his dreams are just about holding onto me, sounds so selfish.

I could feel him waking up a few hours later and start getting ready to head for the watch, I quickly got up and flung on something more practical for this.

John was thankfully still asleep, we snuck out of the room and he took me down the long hallway, further and further away from everything. I didn't realize how huge this place was, or the length of the tunnels that were ridiculously confusing.

" one second" he said as he darted ahead, I waited in the absolute darkness as his footsteps disappeared. When he finally returned I let out a sigh of relief.

" I just didn't want to startle Fareeha, not that she is easily shaken, but I wanted to make sure she didn't mind watching John, anyways follow me" he said as he gripped my hand and we continued down further, then up, I could smell the outside air faintly. I embraced it, the sands had such an interesting scent mixed with fresh air.

Narrow steps up to the top where the sky was slightly visible, but still thoroughly hidden.

" thank you Fareeha" I whispered. She smiled at me and left quickly.

I leaned against the wall facing Jack, his mask enhances his already extraordinary vision, getting a read on him however would be a struggle.

He also had the heat signature map pulled up and I kept an eye on it.

" this brings back memories" he mumbled.

" I know, I'm sorry I was always terrible at it"

" ha, yeah... well that wasn't why you were put on them with me or ..." he stopped and grunted.

" I just had to learn to be aware, and it helped" I smiled, after we had established our relationship it was a good excuse to just be around each other.

" you want to do it again?" I asked.

" ange... it's been years"

" which is exactly why I want too"

" fine but you start " he grumbled.

" Switzerland" i stated, how the game works is, you say a word, and whatever the word ends in, is what you must make the next word start with and so on. However, they must be related to each other.

" devils"

" rude!" I gasped.

" what? You are one"

" fine, let me think... s... devils, salty" I said

" what why?!"

" you know someone who gets upset in gaming. They are salty, I assume devils would be salty "

" stop hanging around Hana "

" ha! You were the one who made me! So there! Now you have Y!"

" I ha- ugh I cannot honestly even tease that phrase around you, alright. Salty and a Y... you, you are salty "

" I thought we always said that ' you' couldn't be used" I said while eyeing him.

" eh, can we just do that. Plus it makes you need to use a ' u' to describe you"

" agh!" I flung my hands up.

"'You are the one who wanted to play" he said as he titled his head.

" upset" I responded after a moment. He tried to quiet the sound of his laughter.

" fuck ange, you did it, Tired!"

" doghouse, for what you are in for using ' you' " i retorted.

" Even! Because we are now even? Yes? "

I thought for a moment, a word beginning with ' N', I felt a smile light up my face.

" never! "

" really?!" He stated, falling right into my trap.

" YOU!" I squeaked out as I wiped tears of laughter from my eyes, thrilled that I could bring it back full circle.

" oh my god, I'm getting you later for this...fuck" his strange masked laughter and attempt at staying quiet.

" I don't think we stayed on subjects relating to the ending letter"I replied.

" well it still worked and I'm saying that you win, for once"

" why thank you!" I did a mock bow while sitting.

We sat in silence for a few minutes, no heat signatures on the map, and since I didn't really need to pay attention to it I allows myself some time to just enjoy the silence and the fresh air.

" you okay love?" He asked.

" yeah, I just love the air" I whispered and immediately regretted it, I'm supposed to be up here cheering him up.

" hopefully soon we can have all the fresh air that we want" he said.

A little alert went off on his phone, the quiet buzz of it.

" shit!" He grumbled.

" what?"

" the press got ahold of Lena and Jesse, they managed to answer as well as they could... but, I still don't like it, at all" he was peering around but I could see a slight tension twitch.

" it's fine, I'm sure you are looking too far into it"

Jack grunted and sighed.

" so they won't be coming back for awhile, or at least Hana and Lucio won't, that's just too risky. Reinhardt and Torbjorn still will be"

" well that's good, maybe we should go see Zenyatta..." I quietly said.

" what good will that do?"

" sanctuary" I stated.

" Angela that is absolutely ridiculous"

" so is hiding in the ground!"

" at least in the ground we won't be spotted, one of the monks could leak information and how would that go? " he argued back.

" scheisse! How long have you known me? " I hissed quietly

" I had ideas, but they all seen so foolish now, and I'm sorry I snapped like that " he said softly.

I backed down, and focused trying to find my inner calm.

" you are stressed "

" not an excuse to snap at you" he replied as he extended his hand out to me, I gripped it in mine and he squeezed.

" I love you, so much, I'm just worried that-"

A heat signature showed up a few miles off in the distance.

I could feel my heart racing, we are so few in numbers.

" has this happened before ?" I whispered as my voice shook.

" once before" he mumbled as he messaged the images to Winston.

" Winston will have better images" he replied as he shifted his rifle closer to him.

The next few minutes were excruciating.

" don't worry, we have emergency exits and we do have the spare craft, so we can get out" he said softly.

" I thought we were in the middle of nowhere"

" we are, but sometimes people come over the radius, but this is strange" he remarked.

He sharply inhaled when Winston replied to him.

" ange, my love, go pack now, send Ana up"

" but-"

" i would rather be safe, than just sit" he replied.

I could sense the old strike commander coming back in the way he spoke.

I just nodded and began descending the area. My feet kicking up sand as I ran, the dark hallway felt like it was suffocating me.

Better to be overly cautious with such a small group, better to be safe is all I can think. I slid through the small opening in the wall, normally I would need help with this large rock blocking me, but sliding through worked.

The lights in the halls making my eyes squint for a moment, I stopped in front of Ana's room, taking a moment to appear calm incase John was awake.

I knocked carefully, Ana peered out and I grabbed her arm pulling her into the hall.

" go up to Jack please, I need to pack"

" my dear what-? " she asked.

I just nodded at her and softly said " he will explain better than me"

She bowed her head and took off, Fareeha opened the door and came out.

" what's going on?"

" packing, I need to go pack, you probably should too, is John still asleep?"

" yeah, he'll be fine here, we don't have much to pack, but I know the kid does... so don't worry about it " she said.

" thank you" I breathed.

" think nothing of it" she replied.

I raced back to the room and began flinging all of John's things into the bags they were previously in from the last move.

As I began to put my things into a bag , securing my pistol to my hip and packing Jack's things. I had this down to an art form.

The door flung open and I instinctively reached for my pistol and aimed.

Jack threw up his hands and half laughed at me.

" thank you for that, at least I know you are prepared!" He said.

I could feel my chest heaving as I struggled to catch my breath.

" Angela, it's okay, I mean... possibly but we are getting out of here for safety" he said.

Just a few hours ago he was having a breakdown, seeing him snap back into action was comforting and unsettling.

" everything packed? You forgot the sheets... DNA and all my love" he said.

" scheisse" I thought and ended up saying.

I just sat on the bed, my emotions overtaking me.

" darling, no matter what, I will keep you safe" he whispered as he crouched in front of me.

" and I don't mean this to be rude but we need to hurry, Winston's shutting everything down, wiping and destroying things. Genji is destroying the kitchen stuff with Hanzo, it's going to be okay but we need to do this " he spoke with such a urgency in his voice, I accepted his hand as he pulled me up. We stripped the beds and rolled the mattresses.

" Winston will grab these, to be destroyed "

I just nodded as I went through the motions, carrying all the gear to the craft.

Multiple hurried trips, trying to avoid crashing into anyone as we lugged gear and wiped surfaces, luckily sand doesn't exactly take footprints. That was what the rake was for, to destroy any footprints.

" mooooom" came the voice I was dreading to hear, I don't want to explain any of this to him.

" we are moving?!" He asked.

" yes darling but-"

" I hope I like my new room! " he interrupted. What.

" ...yeaaah" I replied as Fareeha scooped him up.

" sorry about that, he heard he commotion and came out" said Fareeha.

" I wanted to know" John whined.

" it's fine" I stated as I continued to carry things.

My hands gripped the metal handles on an ammo box as I rushed it to the craft. At least he is already handling it better than me, ugh this kid is too good.

Everything was seemingly packed, just Jack and Winston checking on everything.

I could scarcely get a read on everyone, John was sitting with Fareeha and playing some game, interrupting them wouldn't be wise. I just want him happy and my mood isn't exactly the best right now. Bastion whirred from the corner, bastion, my dear friend who I rarely interacted with all these weeks.

Jack and Winston barreled in with Ana. She had been keeping watch during all of this, they jumped into the cock pit. The engines lightly roaring to life.

I pressed my fingers to my temples, and heard Genji stirring next to me.

" clear your mind" he said softly.

" not now my friend" I replied.

" you just seem troubled, forgive me"

" I am, but I'm in a proper mindset. I'm just trying in my own way to calm down, clearing my mind isn't the answer right now"

" understood"

" thank you", which is true, i am thankful.

Within a few minutes we were in the sky, the quiet underground behind us. I'm happy to be out of the underground, I feel that it's okay to be worried. The news still declaring us a terrorist organization, our numbers more spread out... Jack didn't seem to be too concerned, so why am I? Am I missing something? Did he not just suffer a breakdown just hours earlier? Or did he need something like this to remind him how strong he is?

There's hardly any chatter, besides John and Fareeha playing.

" Lena and Jesse are going to try to get out, and make a minor distraction just in case" boomed Winston's voice up at the cockpit.

" make sure they stay aware and safe and don't do anything idiotic!" Barked Ana.

" them ? Do something idiotic? Never!" I said out loud, a small smile on my lips.

Winston laughed for a moment, before returning to contacting them.

At least we have that, and we are getting away, but to where?

 **A/N: and there we have chapter 51! it's ehhhh a work. I just overthought it, where do you think they are headed? and as always, i love all of you! please feel free to leave a review or PM me! (shoutout as always to lordofthememes 3 they are incredible)**


	52. Chapter 52

Again in the sky, flying away from uncertainty into even more uncertainty.

On one hand, at least we are out of the caves, mental health was deteriorating down there. I have no idea how Jack and Ana managed being down there for so long before.

However, I liked the secure feeling being down there, I guess we aren't safe anywhere anymore.

John plunked down in my lap and I snuggled him tightly against me.

" I want a yard and a dog" he said.

" darling, we've talked about this, one day " I said as I kissed his head.

" okay, okay..." he mumbled.

" I still get a birthday?"

" of course you get a birthday " I replied. How? I don't know... we will figure something out.

" when's your birthday?" He asked.

I hoped not aimed at me, I hardly remember it anymore, especially with all the nanotechnology keeping me trapped in a younger body, well not trapped... it does have it's perks.

" genji! When is your birthday ?" Asked John. Oh thank goodness.

" it's in October, the 21st I believe "

" you don't remember ?"

" It seems I've forgotten over the years, the older you get the more you don't keep track" said Genji, Hanzo smirked in his direction.

" Lena, don't do that... " came Jack's exasperated voice, oh the memories of these kinds of exchanges.

" because it will get you-"

A grunt as he was interrupted again, he shook his head and tried again.

" Lena! These are direct orders do not engage!"

Then after a moments pause

" I'm not your father" he quipped with frustration.

I noticed Winston look at him strangely, this was a regular Jack and Cadet Lena Oxton scenario.

Winston's eyes misted for a moment, before returning to a more serious expression.

Eventually they will all know, but I know how much he wants his old persona to die. He wants to be new, and I don't blame him.

" mom!" Said John.

" hmm?"

" is dad talking to Lena ?"

" he was..."

" when do I get to see her again?"

" I don't know darling " I replied as I brushed his shaggy hair off his forehead. We tried cutting it, but he wants it longer, someone probably showed him the young picture of Reinhardt.

" as long as she's back for my birthday then I'm happy " he chirped.

I really want to promise him that, but it's so soon and who knows where we are going. Our first birthday with him as a family, I sighed and kept brushing his hair off his face.

I handed John his tablet and suggested he play with bastion for a little bit. Which he did happily, while I diverted my attention to the front.

I could see Ana and Jack's posture changing into more defensive.

" Jesse, don't engage, just- well tell her to relax! Yes I know that it's Lena... for fucks sake pick up a burger or something" said Ana with a weary tone.

I heard Jack snicker for a moment, his shoulders shook with a laugh. There was still tension about the two of them, but it felt like the natural tension. I bounded up to the front, Jack turned for a moment.

" you want to talk to her?"

" please! I think I have the solution" I said.

He leaned over and grabbed me one of the new devices.

" Lena!" I chirped.

" oh hey love!" She replied.

" can you do me a favor ?" I asked. I heard her sigh heavily.

" what's it want?"

" well, a certain little friend of yours is having a birthday and -"

" aw fuck! Yeah!" She replied

" but I won't be happy bout it!" She added.

" you love him so of course you will" I responded.

" fine fine, tell grumpypants and grandma that I'll do it" she grunted, I could hear Jesse laughing in the background.

" thank you, I love you and miss you!"

" yeah yeah"

With that I handed over the communication device to Jack and Ana with a smile. Ana just smirked and shook her head.

" oh grumpypants, grandma.. she's going to stand down" I said.

Jack just grunted while Ana grinned more.

But his arm snaked around my waist as he pulled me close to his chair, I leaned against it surveying the skies.

" what's the current outlook?" I asked.

" well we aren't being followed, but Jesse and Lena were... for all we know it could just be the police force out there being on high alert" said Ana.

" so getting her to not engage in fire was trickier than usual" added Jack.

" well she's been antsy and cooped up and Lena without something to do isn't really a happy Lena. " I said.

" where are we headed?" I asked carefully.

Ana let out a low whistle before surveying the map.

" we have a few options, but we want to make certain that we aren't followed, we could honestly turn around and head back if we wanted to see who exactly was there but-"

" actually I still have some things left that will pick up who is there, send the images and self destruct" chimed in Winston.

" could a small animal set it off?" I asked.

" no, this is set for anything over 100 pounds, so no need to worry about that" he replied.

" right now we are just waiting it all out, taking a nice leisurely flight around " jokes Ana.

" ah yes, stretching our sea legs in the air" added Jack.

" you two are terrible" I sighed.

" oh we know" said Ana. Their attitudes making my own fear subside, I could just stare at the sky and dream about having a house, a small medical practice in the middle of nowhere and just have the cliche porch to watch the sunset on.

But not until we deal with him, not until he realizes all the horrible things he did, all the lives he ruined even before the fall of overwatch. Winston and i left the cockpit.

My fists clenched as I walked back to my seat, closing my eyes and drifting off for a bit.

Jack's POV:

" did we overreact?" I said under my breath directed at Ana.

" not when family is involved, we made the right call" she replied swiftly patting my hand.

" besides, we could use a change of location, it was easier when it was just the two of us down there, not the cavalry" she added.

I chuckled for a moment before stating how true that was.

" how do you think John is doing?"

" he will be fine, he's been moved around a lot , as long as he has his toys and people he knows, he's fairly adaptable. He did get extremely cranky a few times before, but that's expected. Once he's situated he's fine, according to Meer- well it's how she would say it" her voice cracked when mentioning her sister.

My own chest heaved for a moment, the sacrifice she made for our son, the Amari family constantly there for him. How Ana never came clean to me all those years was something I still struggle with. But it wasn't her place, she keeps her promises and I probably would have handled it well.

Besides her distancing from her family was hard enough. We both did the right thing reaching out to them.

I won't deny how much I miss the farm, how much I just want to stop by...

" is jack on the farm again?" Asked Ana , jolting me from my thoughts.

" how do you?"

" I always know. It's a gift" she replied.

" plus besides Angela and now John, it's your happy place"

I let out a sigh and glanced back at them, she was asleep while John was playing with Fareeha.

" where should we head this time?" I asked her since she was mind reading.

She swore under her breath and grumbled for a moment.

" we could take John to stay with Torbjorn's family. I think he would be happy there and I know that's a tough call but I feel it's a good option. Things could get worse, if not now it's still on the table. Then there is Nepal, the monks would take us in, there's also more hiding in the Black Forest, but eichenwilde is a tricky place, not many places for supplies"

" so what you are saying is Nepal?" I grumbled. I hate the idea, but I hate leaving John somewhere, and the Black Forest isn't the safest. It's not that I dislike Genji, I somehow still have this weird jealousy of him. It shouldn't be a problem because I'm too old for this jealousy game. But I also resent how she reacted to saving him. He also just upped and left us all those years ago. His internal fight of acceptance and the fight with doom fist messed with a lot of us, mostly Angela. She had worked so hard to come to terms with saving him and making him what he was. It was mostly things Reyes said regarding them that messed me up. But looking at their interactions now, you can tell that clearly my jealousy has been misplaced. He's always cared about her, but in a brotherly way. Maybe Nepal is the answer, we would be safe and hidden.

" Nepal" I stated.

" you sure?"

" yes" I closed my eyes for a moment, knowing Ana would guide the flight.

The memories of jealously clouding my mind, of how much he destroyed her, but mostly Gabe.

" why the fuck are they letting her bring a meatbag back to life?" Mumbled Reyes as he downed another shot.

I rubbed my face with my hand and took another one while sighing.

" they agreed because he's a shimada, and quiet useful, especially to blackwatch " I muttered. I hadn't seen Angela for days, except when I watched from the observing window above her surgery.

She was so focused, so absorbed in saving Genji that she had little time to do anything because time was of the essence. Nobody believed he would survive but there he was undergoing another surgery, this one would finalize his new body, the one she so carefully designed.

" it's fucked up, even for blackwatch" grunted Reyes.

" might seem that way, but he's not in any pain" I stated while pinching the bridge of my nose.

My phone buzzed and I checked it, ' complete' read the message, not from Angela but from overwatch in general. Normally she would message me, but she's probably exhausted and sleeping against a wall somewhere.

" well it's done" I said.

" good, now we don't have to listen to her plead for him to not be turned into a war machine"

" it was his decision too, he made the final call about it-"

" yeah but how many medications was he on at the time? Jack, she's crazy and not in the good way"

I felt my hand clench, but I released it and instead poured another glass.

" I mean, she's hot and all but-"

" can you shut up for a minute?" I snarled, regretting my tone immediately.

" whatever golden boy"

I smirked for a moment, he would jokingly call me that but this time it had some more malice behind it.

The next few days I rarely saw her, I missed her intensely. Her absence affecting me luckily not anything professional was compromised, just my downtime.

She would spend hours upon hours just sitting around in his recovery room, talking and laughing with him. She rarely spoke or messaged me, when she did she would seem distracted or mention how she had work to do.

" you do know about his life before all this right?" Asked Gabe as he flicked his cigar into the ashtray.

" yeah yeah" I mumbled.

" playboy, total user, he had it coming, I'm an ass but damn"

I scratched the back of my neck, not really wanting to think about any of this. The firing range was a good place to clear my head, normally I could outshoot Reyes any day but today I was sloppy.

" and rumor has it that Angela has been-"

I rapid fired over what he was saying, the calming vibrations of the gun as the bullets sprayed in perfect precision onto the targets. I emptied the clip and slammed another one in.

" a bit pissed about this?" He teased.

" I'm really in no mood"

" there's a million other blonde sluts on the market Jack, she's nothing, she's just a distraction and a user... "

I glared at him but he continued.

" come on Jack, she's a user, sucking up to the higher ups, who knows how many of the UN members she's slept with just to continue her experiments... her frankensteins"

I clenched my jaw, I want to punch him. " she's not like that" I grumbled.

" oh yeah? Where is she right now? Probably sucking dick or clit to get her way, god...you are such an ignorant shit. "

I walked away after emptying my clip, and storing my pulse rifle back in my locker.

I stomped down the medical wing, hearing her melodic voice ringing with laughter as she sat perched on the edge of his bed, she was writing down in her medical journal while they talked. The pang of jealously happened, but her dedication to recording data wouldn't be compromised. I know because when she was studying me or checking on me she rarely wrote anything down.

" Jack?" She said after a moment of writing. Genji had a smirk on his face that I wanted to - nope.

" I just, had a question" I lied, poorly.

" very well, I'll be back later Genji, try repeating those stretches again later with the nurse" she said brightly.

" goodnight Angela " said Genji.

" goodnight Genji" she said warmly. Then she stepped out into the hallway with me, I could see the tiredness on her face as she smiled.

" you had a question?" She said motioning me to follow her to her office, I followed a few steps behind for a moment, I'm terrible but it is pencil skirt day.

Her office was in a huge state of disarray. She only got this way whenever under too much stress.

" Angela, you need a break"

She slumped in her chair and buried her face in her hands for a few minutes.

" I can't right now" she said with a yawn.

" please, I don't want to write you up about this" I said softly.

She grumbled and threw up her hands.

" fine, I'll take a five hour break" she said " right after I calculate the progress"

I sighed and got up, she glanced up for moment.

" I'll be checking on you to make sure " I said.

" that won't be necessary " she said as she frantically typed. She processes nothing happening outside her screen when she is like this.

I left the room and walked down the hall to my own room.

Going on a mission without her was hard, but it was still successful, despite some injuries that she repaired for the team upon returning.

She was absent from most meetings and rarely seen anywhere besides his room and her office.

" rumor has it she's fucking the cyborg" said Reyes.

" since when do you listen to rumors?"

" whenever they apply to me or someone I know, hell or whenever they are good"

" really man?"

" don't shoot the messenger "

" she's not having anything unethical with Genji" I stated, but still feeling annoyed about the situation. It would technically take the rumors off of our relationship, which is probably why more women have been approaching me.

" and there's already the leaks about him getting out, about him being alive"

" don't you think I know? I've been working on the press all week, I just need her there to help with it"

" you sure a drunk talking about her experiments is the best idea? Actually. No. I love it, go with that option"

I saw Angela out of the corner of my eye leaving her office with the slightest wobble in her step.

" this is too good, hey ange! Kill anyone lately ?" chided Gabe.

" that's a dick thing to say to her. she's sleep deprived, i will talk to you later" I said as I took off after her, which was wasn't hard; she was walking slowly.

" hey" she said softly.

" headed to your room?" I asked.

" I was going to go to the lab, but I should probably- ah, I should.."

" you should sleep, and eat" I said.

She nodded, her body weaved for a moment. It was late enough for no one to be in the halls as often. I picked her up in the most professional manner I could in case anyone witnessed this. Better for her to have passed out working than drinking away her problems.

I opened her door and put her onto the couch, spying all the empty bottles in the recycling bin as I went to her kitchen to find her something, anything to eat.

I turned to give her crackers but she reached up for my hand.

"Ich habe dich vermisst" she whispered.

" I understood about half of that, help me out ange"

" I've missed you " she stroked my cheek. I flopped down next to her.

" I've missed you too" I said right before she kissed me.

I could faintly detect the vodka she tried to disguise, before she kissed my cheek and rested against me.

Within seconds she was asleep, I glanced through some documents on my phone, worked on some speeches while softly whispering them under my breath. She would smile every so often in her sleep while I spoke. This felt better, fucking Gabe sliding these thoughts into my mind.

Her phone started buzzing with messages, I peered down at it, never wanting to violate privacy but I don't want it to wake her unless it's an emergency. She sat upright and grabbed her phone as her brows furrowed.

" something wrong?"

She pushed some hair off her face and scowled for a moment at nothing.

" yes-nooo, I'm just-" she sighed as she placed the phone back on the table, stretching and letting out a loud sigh.

" I just need a few minutes, could you wait here?"

" it wouldn't look too good if I left anyways" I responded. She smiled and left quickly. I sighed and leaned back on the couch, but my hand grazed against something under the cushion.

I peeled back the cushions only to pull out one of her old giant handles of vodka.

Not again, not again... it's perfectly natural for her to return to it, but she had been so good lately. She still drank a lot but nothing near her old habits. The ones we hid so well, but still others knew. It was how she managed everything, after overworking herself she would drink herself to sleep. She hid it as best she could at public events, but the amount she could drink and still be standing would raise eyebrows.

There's so much to prepare for, and I'll just let her have this. But the door opened and she saw that I knew.

Her mouth twitched into a frown, her slight staggered walk over to the couch.

" jack-" she started but she must have seen the look of pain and frustration on my face.

" it's just-" she tried again.

I stroked her back for a moment, I'm not mad.

" you made me turn him into a weapon!" She blurted out angrily.

" what?" I said in disbelief

" I turned a human, into a weapon! I shoot guns now, I've killed people, on purpose! And now I'm turning him into a weapon!" Her eyes fell.

" it wasn't my choice, I didn't ask! It was the decision of overwatch for blackwatch" I said keeping an even tone. Her eyes were full of sadness and desperation.

" That is even worse" she sighed.

She wouldn't be wrong.

" that means you all know it's wrong, that he cannot ever live a normal life again and it's my fault!"

" he's alive though, and he can do what he wants once his missions are completed"

She buried her face into her hands as she sobbed. Her shoulders fully shaking as she cried, I tried to pull her close but she pulled away. Reyes' words digging into my thoughts.

" I just can't, I can't! I messed up!" She choked out between sobs.

" angel-"

" don't call me that"

" you might not see yourself that way, but that's how I see you, that's how the countless people whose lives you have saved see you"

" I saved his life to create a machine, he's so kind and yet I know he feels awful. I'm trying so hard, and I have so much to do, and so many people to answer too and I can't hold it together!"

Her hands still hiding her face as she cried, I carefully reached up to peel them away from her face and the heartbroken look in her eyes was almost unbearable. After her first kill I saw this look, and now I'm seeing it again.

" please come here" I said with a slight catch in my words.

She shook her head.

" then I'm coming to you" I said as I moved closer and wrapped her in my arms while she cried.

I don't know what to say or how to handle this, killing someone when you have no other choice in war Is one thing. This is entirely different, he was dying and she brought him back in a sort of way.

" I can't handle his eyes, they look so upset, they are red and I don't know how that happened, I'm trying to fix that and fix everything to work and there's not enough hours in the day and I just want everyone happy and I'm ignoring you and yelling at you agh scheisse scheisse scheisse!"

I rubbed her back before speaking, I had to word this just right.

" what you do, is so incredible. Nobody believed you could do it, well I knew you could but you are so impressive. You are judging yourself too hard darling, you are beating yourself up and tearing yourself down. He made the choice, you made sure of it..."

" I didn't "

I froze for a moment.

She inhaled sharply while taking a swig from another stashed flask.

" he was medicated, while I believe he did answer me to his full knowledge he was also in a lot of pain, he asked me if he could die and-" she stopped for a moment and cringed as she gulped down the liquid.

" I told him I didn't want him to die... and I asked him if he would stay, and he was in so much pain... what if he didn't truly agree to it all? What if-"

She stopped again, her eyes red from all the crying, she had no more tears left because her body went back into the motions of sobbing.

" what if he didn't agree?" She whispered.

" you have him on the record agreeing, for the first, second, third, forth and fifth surgery. Each time he agreed" I said, I could swear that information before a judge.

" you are just questioning yourself because you are doubting what you did. Because you have been hearing people questioning you, please never doubt yourself. You are a genius , who has a self destruct button ready to deploy all the time"

Her eyes glanced up at me before she pounced and knocked me onto my back. She's so damn enticing but aggressive Angela is such a turn on.

Plus we hadn't done anything in what felt like a lifetime. All of her frustration pouring out into passion, as she pressed her lips against mine. I let her have some dominance before taking over.

After a few minutes she pulled away and looked at me sheepishly.

Fuck, I knew it and she knew it, she needed sleep more than anything. I picked her small frame up and walked to the bed, warm breath tickling my neck as we curled into the bed.

" I'm sorry" she whispered.

" don't be, I need this too. I can't sleep without you " I whispered.

Present day: Jack's POV

I stretched for a moment before walking down to talk to Genji to make sure all would be well with the plan.

Angela was laying down, her hair framed her face as she slept.

Genji looked up at me with a questioning look as his faceplate was lifted.

" can I have a word ?" I asked.

He slowly stood up to not cause a shift on the bench they were on, we walked towards the cockpit.

" is nepal still an option? Would they be willing to harbor us ?"

The surprised look on his face caused a brief moment of concern.

" of course, however it would be unwise to linger there too long. There are places to hide and remain unnoticed but after a while it would only make a new target" he replied.

I grunted and nodded, " that's a good point"

" I know they would be more than happy to assist, but I feel that my initial idea wasn't the safest for all of us" he glanced at Angela and John.

I glanced at Ana who was staring ahead her eyes trained on the sky, but I knew that quietness was her own way of coming up with a plan.

" but, it would be a good place if just for a few nights" he added.

He was trying, those years with the omnic monks truly changed him. Made him into a better person, I'm glad he helped Angela while I was... off becoming 76. He knew he owed her, to come to terms with who he was. To repair things with his brother, and finally repair that part of Angela that had so many regrets.

" do you mind giving us the underground location for entry?" I asked.

" very well" he replied as he instructed us on the location and entrance.

We were still a few hours out but it's a good place to regroup and rethink things. I could see the way he talked to me included some anxiety, he pushed down his faceplate at some point. I still believe Angela thinks I'm jealous of him, and I'd rather have her think that. Than her remembering the downward spiral she went on.

When he left she walked up with John balanced on her hip. I wish this was leisurely. I wish this was anything in the world but avoidance.

Ana immediately whipped around and grabbed John from Angela, who stood there barely processing the moment.

" I'm sitting with Ana now!" Chirped John.

" oh are you? Is your mom too boring ?" She asked teasingly.

" yes!" Said John, luckily my mask hid my laughter but Angela still gently smacked my shoulder.

" I didn't make any noise!" I argued.

" my dear, she knows you well enough" said Ana coyly.

" and anytime John makes fun of my inability to have fun, you join in" she replied, with an arched eyebrow and a grin.

" oi' we are done eating and getting ya know... surprises. nobodies been followin' us! Where are we headed ?" Asked Lena into the comms.

" Genji's-"

" gotcha!" She interrupted.

" give us about three hours or so" drawled out Jesse, he sounded exhausted.

" give my love to everyone! Goin' dark now!" Chirped Lena.

I just grunted and turned forward.

We just keep hiding, this mess keeps escalating. Something needs to be done about it.

 **A/N: I am so sorry, i'm dealing with a lot right now. I needed to just get this chapter out, i had something else written but i didn't feel comfortable with it considering what has been going on. Anyways, We got some Jack flashback, it seems out of place but it's needed. I felt so stuck in Angela's past-self destruction coming back to haunt her in a way, so i needed to distance myself and do an outsider perspective. Things are going to advance now, sorry if anyone is currently unhappy with how this is going. I am trying, and sometime's that just all we can do.**

 **I hope all of you are doing well, and i appreciate all of you who still read this, i've had a massive drop off of readers, so to those of you who stayed, Thank you for being here.**


	53. Chapter 53

Rain was pouring down from the sky, a wonderful welcome as a cover of secrecy in the darkness surrounding us as we opened our doors to four curious monks. One of them was zenyatta, who welcomed us with open arms.

John was absolutely amazed as he let go of my hand to run up to him. His eyes got wider as Zenyatta waved in greeting to him.

" greetings! You may follow us to your accommodations, we hope you find them comfortable " said another.

The air felt calm, the amazing scent of incense and candles filling my nose. Even Jack looked relieved for a moment, before he switched to a more distant stance. I placed my hand into his as we walked down the hallways only to be greeted by Lena and Jesse. John immediately ran to her as she scooped him up and became zipping around with him. Hearing his laughter was just what I needed, I leaned my head against Jack's shoulder. His hand stroked my side as we continued down the hall. Lena was explaining everything exciting that had she abruptly stopped and turned around with her eyes flickering with delight as her hands clasped infront of her.

" I have a surprise for all of you!" She squealed.

The surprise wasn't well kept as I could hear Reinhardt's laughter echoing in the quiet halls.

" oh my goodness" I said softly and Jack patted my shoulder.

" feel better?" He whispered.

I let out a sigh of relief and nodded with a huge smile on my face.

" hello my friends!" Boomed Reinhardt as he came into view, John wiggles from Lena and ran to Reinhardt.

Ana restrained herself from running to him as well, instead she held herself back and chuckled with delight as a tear ran down her face.

John is so small in the large man's arms, but it's the only way to think that my son isn't rapidly aging.

" we will be keeping you in the lower quarters, while we trust all of our friends, we do have visitors and wouldn't want you to feel uncomfortable " said Zenyatta.

" thank you master" said Genji with reverence in his voice.

An echo of thanks echoed through the halls.

" I believe we owe you all thanks, your services in protecting lives is truly what we support" said zenyatta.

As the hours went on, John was playing with Reinhardt and Fareeha, Lena was retelling Lucio's concert, I was curled next to Jack, but beginning to feel exhausted. Our rooms were scattered in the lower areas, I hadn't seen ours yet but Jack brought in some of our supplies.

" you should probably get some rest" he murmured. I glanced over at John anxiously.

" he will be fine, Ana will take care of him for the night" he replied as if reading my mind.

I said goodnight as Jack led me down the hallway, the soft glow of the lights and the calming chanting and soft tingling of bells in the distance.

Our room was beautiful, the sheets were a silky red and piled high for the colder nights. Jack cautiously removed his mask and climbed into the plush bed with me, gently rubbing his hand along my shoulder.

" this is the most comfortable I've been in a long time" I mused.

" that's just because we have been in a cave for weeks" his voice without the mask was a welcome sound.

" true, thank you for letting us come here" I whispered.

" it was the best option, my other options wouldn't have been as accommodating" he kissed my forehead, even he seemed relaxed.

" where do we go from here?, what is happening outside these walls?"

I asked with a hitch of worry in my voice.

" that is for tomorrow my darling, tonight we get some rest, because tomorrow we will deal with what is going on, but for now... let's just enjoy this" he said softly.

" what did you have in mind?" I asked turning on my side towards him.

His smile made his eyes squint slightly as he let out a small laugh.

" well, I was thinking about sleeping since that's a rare thing but, I'm open to other options... but this is a shrine technically..."

" but it's not our religion!"

" my my doctor Ziegler! Are you honestly considering- relations in a temple?" He chided.

I flopped onto my back laughing " oh god you are right"

" however we haven't exactly been very respectful of places in the past"

" I don't think the watchtower in Iceland counts... besides that gave us a John"

Jack was now laughing so hard his chest was heaving.

" or! Torbjorn's kitchen during the Yule party" he added.

" oh gosh, they made food there in the morning!"

" we cleaned up! It's not like we left a mess or anything!"

" but we ate all their ice cream!"

" we washed the dishes!"

" bodies don't count!" I laughed, and suddenly I couldn't stop.

" it was a really good Christmas" he whispered as our laughter stopped for a moment with the realization that we may never get another holiday like that, or at least that was what i was thinking, until he spoke again with his jaw slightly locked.

" so his birthday" started Jack.

" just a few days away..."

" our first one with him" he mused.

" ja... we will make it good" I said.

" you should see some of the things Lena picked up" he sounded hopeful as his eyes searched my face, I smiled.

" I can see them ?"

" of course. Lena will be thrilled to show you, she was contemplating whether you should see it or not"

" and you told her I would need to see?"

" of course my angel " he kissed my cheek. I moved closer to him, laying my head onto his shoulder and stared up at the smooth ceiling, small gold details catching the flickering candle.

" I love you beauty" he whispered.

Waking up with beautiful sheets piled up on us, the morning chanting melodically drifting.

His arms tightly holding me in place while I tried to stretch, it's unlike him to sleep in.

I planted a kiss on his lips, and his eyes shot open in fear and then relief.

" I'm sorry! I should know better" I scolded myself.

" echhh- it's fine angel" he said as his arms released themselves from me.

As we got dressed I turned to him for a moment while his hand lingered on his mask. I truly hope he will allow himself to go freely without it, I miss his face.

" what?" He asked.

I paced quickly across the room and reached a hand up to caress his face, before standing on my toes to lightly peck his lips.

His hands landed on my waist as he held me up to fully kiss me, before placing me back on my feet.

" oneday ange" he said as he secured the faceplate " one day" he repeated with his mask on.

I gripped his hand with mine, the halls seemed brighter this morning.

" mornin'! " shouted Lena as she stretched her arms over her head " you missed a great session with zenyatta!"

" I'm sure I'll manage" I replied with a smile.

" oi! I'm stealin' her for a bit!" She added while looking at Jack, she then grabbed my arm and began dashing off, I had to run fast to keep up or else I fear my arm will become hers.

After a few minutes of running down the halls we stopped at what I assume is her room.

" already mucked it up! But I wanted to show ya why we got for the little guy!" She chirped, she turned and pushed me onto a chair as she began rummaging through bags.

" I didn't wrap em yet, just in case ya dont didn't like any of em!" She added as she began piling bags in front of me.

" Jesse helped! He might have had too much fun" she giggled.

I reached into the first bag and pulled out an electronic dog.

" cute, he will love this!" I cooed.

" figured! He kept talking about dogs before we left, look in that one next" she pointed to a green bag.

" Jesse picked that one, now... we know you don't like violence- " she said as she sucked in some air for a moment.

I pulled out a cowboy kit, and resisted my urge to frown, he's just a kid.

" aw you hate it don't you..." she said softly.

" no, I just, we don't want him to become another Jesse McCree !" I said in an attempt to joke.

" ha! That's just what seventy-six said! Ha! Ya know... you sure pick the same types... rugged, horrible jokes... grumpy, sorry sorry. You probably don't want him brought up" her eyes darted down as she began digging through more bags.

" oh I like this one" I said as I tried to distract her, as I held another plush dragon for his collection.

" figured you would" she said with a grin.

" little guys gonna be five! That's hard to believe, seems like- ah fuck ange. I keep bringing up stuff" she huffed as she lunged in for a hug.

I held her in my arms and rested my head on her spiky hair, I want to tell her how complicated everything is. But that would only further complicate things, which is the last thing we all need.

" it's quite alright Lena, let's talk about what we are planning for this"

" well! I figured we could have a huge game of tag in these halls, I mean they are huge! And we did get laser tag stuff"

" that sounds perfect " I said.

" wait, you are agreeing to laser tag?" She said as she slammed her hand on my forehead with a concerned look.

" it's what he wants, so he can have that!"

" will you play?" Her eyes were huge as she waited for my answer.

" why not?!" I replied with a grin.

She squeezed me tighter as she giggled excitedly.

" oh this is gonna be the best!" She shouted as she pumped her fists in celebration.

" I'm going to go check on John, but I truly cannot thank you enough for all you have done!" I said as I hugged her tightly.

" aw I love you and him! So it was fun!" She said as she hugged me back.

Our grip loosened and I began my search for my son. It didn't take long, I just had to follow the sound of laughter.

Reinhardt had him on his huge knee, and was reading to him. John peered up for a moment and waved excitedly before turning back to the reading. I felt familiar arms pull me backwards and out of the room, I left out a soft giggle as his mask pressed on my shoulder.

" looks like we have the day free" he murmured into my ear.

" please tell me this means what I think it does?" I replied with real excitement.

" ice cream and movie date " he replied, I spun around and jumped up to hug him. His strong arms capturing me in his grasp as he carried be back to our room.

" we have some for John's birthday but I made sure they got extras"

" they?"

" Hanzo and Genji went shopping"

I let out another laugh, having been out with them many times before, shopping was always the worst. Hanzo would take it all too seriously and Genji would end up sneaking items into his basket.

" was that a bad thing?" He asked.

" no, it's a silly thing..."

" hold that thought and tell me when I'm back" he replied as he opened the door to our room and placed me back on the pile of blankets.

" you, stay just as you are and I'll be back" he said.

Within moments he returned with a carton of ice cream and spoons, he placed them next to me as he removed his mask. The subtle jaw click he would do when he removed it, and ruffling his hair for a moment.

" what?" He said with a smile.

" I just like looking at you" I replied.

" I pity you, you probably just like the jacket"

" well the jacket definitely helps..." I said as I reached up for him.

" I am the lucky one, I get to look at an angel " he said with his handsome grin. He joined me in the large bed, as he set up the tablet screen and gestured for me to pick.

" no no, you've gone to all this trouble... you pick" I stated.

" Angela, I asked our friends to get ice cream, that isn't effort" he replied flatly.

" fine!" I said as I pulled up Star Wars.

" interesting choice"

" well, I know how much you love it and how much John loves it, I've just always been more Tolkien"

" I know darling" he said with a grin.

" just because I'm aging doesn't mean I've forgotten what you like" he added as he pulled me against his chest.

I buried myself in it, the leathery woodsy scent he had, the steady normal heartbeat.

At some point I must have fallen asleep, because I woke up with Jack and John curled around me. I could see the clock indicating it was only middday, but John did have a busy couple of days and a nap is always good.

I'm far more curious about how I slept through all of this. I pushed my nose against Jack's and his eyes fluttered open, luckily that is the one way to not fully startle him.

" hey sleepyhead" he said with a smile.

" pshhh you are sleeping too!"

" but unlike you, I have only slept for a half hour" he whispered back, absently stroking my cheek.

" when did he come in?"

" about an hour ago, Ana let me know he wanted a nap but wanted his mom" he said adding extra emphasis on the fact that John wanted me, which was such a welcome gesture.

John was tightly latched onto my back, I wonder why?

" did something happen?"

" not that I know of, he seemed fine when he came in, just clingy"

I titled my head and thought about various reasons, but Jack pulled me back.

" sometimes kids, they just want a specific parent ange..." he said it gently as if to avoid triggering any sort of memories in me, but while his gesture was appreciated of course it would dig up memories.

I tried to shake the mental imagery, because on bad days it would be nightmares, on good days a normal memory, not tainted by death. I got an A instead of an A plus in first year of schooling, I cried and cried. I just wanted my Dad, I just needed him to tell me it was okay...

I felt Jack's hand press a little harder on my shoulder, stopping the memory in its tracks.

" thank you" I whispered.

" anytime" he replied.

John suddenly shot up in bed and then gripped onto me while sobbing.

I panicked and held him tightly against me.

" John, darling... what's wrong?" I said in most reassuring voice.

He just kept sobbing into my chest, I could feel his tears stick to my clothes and skin.

" my sweet boy... it's okay it was a dream" i whispered while stroking his back.

After awhile he finally calmed his breathing down and fell back asleep from exhaustion. I just looked at Jack worriedly.

He lifted his shoulders into a shrug.

" sometimes nightmares just happen" he said.

But as John's little fingers dug into my skin I worried. His strength was increasing, he shouldn't technically be aging faster, if anything it should be slowed due to... but then again the soldier enhancement program.

Then it finally clicked, just faintly. It would take some time to grab the proper materials to check, but finally I think I figured him out.

I exhaled and looked at Jack with a gleaming smile.

" what?"

" I think I figured out what was in the lab" I whispered.

Jack smiled as he kissed me " I knew you would".

" you are alive " said John abruptly, I almost fell onto my back with the sudden noise.

" yes" I replied and John hugged me tightly.

" you just had a nightmare darling, we all have them" I soothed as I stroked his hair.

" but you burned" he said as he pulled away looking at me.

" what?" I replied trying to hold back tears. If there's any sort of thing I cannot handle it's fire. I like campfires, bonfires, grills, but fires and flames anywhere near me and it. I blinked away tears trying desperately to not see the burnt flesh of my father.

It may have been from explosives but I still cannot handle it. Then the explosion at- I cannot.

" where would you get an idea like that?" I said suddenly, trying to think of what could have triggered a dream like that.

" your mother is fine, as you can tell, I get nightmares too kid, and it's okay to be afraid, but also realize they are just dreams, nothing more" said Jack.

It seemed as though he was speaking to both of us.

" you get nightmares?" John asked.

" of course, we all do! But no need to worry" said Jack.

" 'Keine Angst" I added.

" what..." asked John.

" don't worry, or no fear..." I replied with a smile, I may be playing into his desire to learn things.

" oh! Reinhardt told me 'ich bin euer schild' "

Jack shook his head for a moment and sighed.

" he told you that he is your shield?" I asked.

" yes, he said anytime I'm scared to remember that I have a shield, and he is your shield too? And dad's? " asked John.

" yes, he has helped me out so many times before" I answered as I looked curiously at Jack who just nodded. His hands gripping the chair for a moment too long.

" Ich bin da! Which also means ' I'm there for you ', you can always reply if he says that to you again" I said, trying to stay on this subject instead.

" ich bin da" he replied after a moment of struggling.

" wunderbar!" I replied

" wonderful!" He responded.

" very good my sweet" I said as I pulled him close for a hug.

He's so smart, so ridiculously smart.

" you take after your mother in a few ways too "

" no I don't!" Argued John.

" hey, there's nothing wrong with taking after your mother, especially in the ways you are"

" what?"

" your mother is a genius, and you are taking after her..." said Jack.

John pouted while Jack just shook his head and laughed for a minute.

If I'm being completely honest with myself I don't want my son taking after me, especially in my self destructive ways. But expecting a carbon copy of Jack would be weird and not how genetics and the human mind works.

So I pouted with John, partially for humor and partially because it's how I feel.

" you two are uncanny sometimes" said Jack with an award winning smile.

" you are both weird, I'm going to play with Reinhardt now" said John.

" oh are you?" I asked arching a brow.

" yeah, he has the best stories... sorry dad " John said as he stood up.

" hold on, you can't just run out and play with him, he might have something to do" I argued.

" he said I could after my nap!"

I looked at Jack who just nodded.

" want me to take you to him?" I asked.

John shrugged as he put on his shoes, struggling with the laces for a moment before tying them.

I held out my hand for him, which he took and we left the room.

Zenyatta was humming while floating next to Genji.

" Doctor Ziegler, when you have a moment to spare would you mind speaking with me?" Asked zenyatta.

" once I drop off-" and John took off.

" I have a moment now!" I said with a grin.

" very well, follow me" said zenyatta as Genji followed along.

The soft ting noise of bells getting louder as we walked up a small flight of stairs.

" as you may know, we work with local hospitals and charities, some of our own study human bodies and how to heal them, through concentrated nanotechnology, thanks to you of course" he said taking a moment to pause as he pushed open a door.

" I had mentioned that you missed having a lab" whispered Genji.

I smiled at my thoughtful friend.

" it's not a lab, and we do have our own light and path we follow, but I wanted to show you how we used your technology" said zenyatta.

I glanced at the room, mortars and pestles, glowing orbs and metal balls similar to the ones drifting around his neck.

It was a weird way to use my designs but admirable, and completely fascinating.

" I would bring in who works in here, but I know how secretive you must remain. I just wanted to thank you myself. " his voice lacked much emotional deviation most of the time, but I could hear a hopefulness and gratitude leaking through.

" thank you for all you have done and continue to do" I replied while inspecting some herbs and oils.

The intricate carvings on the walls combined with the polished wood counters, some batik fabrics covering a few of them.

The scents in the room coating it in a calming aura for the senses, I carefully peeked at what everyone was working on, the empty stations making me feel like I wasn't supposed to be in here.

" you blame yourself too much, there was nothing more you could have done. Enjoy your life" said Zenyatta suddenly.

I felt my brows knit together as I turned and stared blankly at him.

" what?" I managed to get out.

" you've done more good in a month of your life than most do in a lifetime, yet you blame yourself for everything that goes wrong"

" uh, fine" I replied as I pretended to be fascinated by a pile of herbs.

" I spoke out of line, I apologize. I have heard so much about you for years"

He sounded apologetic, and I felt my annoyance building.

" I should let you get back to your son, but I wanted you to know how much we admire you" he said.

" thank you, and thank you for showing this to me" I said as I tried to unclench my teeth. My heels echoing in the hallways as I ascended the stairs and rushed back to our room.

Jack sat up startled, his mask on but his body tense.

" what-" he started to say, but I just dug through my gear pulling out a flask.

" angel angel-" he said as he pulled his mask off.

" what?" I hissed, but then looking at his face I stopped myself.

He held open his arms as I went over to him, I could feel him pluck the flask from my hands as he held me.

Then tears began to pour out of me, I could feel his hands apply pressure to my back and neck as he held me.

" let it out" he softly said into my hair.

" fuck I thought I was over this" I said as I sniffled.

" it's okay" he replied.

" it was just zenyatta and Genji and it brought up all those emotions again and maybe I'm just a mess and that's what I am"

" darling, I figured you and Genji worked through this when you lived with him, but I don't mind that you didn't, you feel too much sometimes and your feelings towards yourself are so negative. You are the light of my life and all I could ever ask for, actually... I don't think I could ask for someone like you, because you are so astoundingly humble and beautiful and intelligent... and I love you" his voice cracked for a moment.

I rubbed the tears away from my eyes as I focused.

" did you really have to go all love my love on me?"

He pushed his nose against mine.

" always beauty" he replied, before I kissed him.

For a brief moment in time just lost in each other's company, no words just body language bonding.

We fell back against the pillows as my head cleared. I'm no longer a unstable young woman. I am an intelligent woman who doesn't need to constantly beat herself up over Genji.

" thank you" I said after I let out a long sigh.

" anytime, it's what I'm here for"

" I'm pretty sure you are here because-" I started and he pressed his fingers to my lips.

" I'm here for you, I'm tired Angela, I'm tired of war... I'm tired of hiding and I just want to be a family. And have cook outs and probably a cow, I'm tired, so incredibly tired" he said, in that moment his youthful appearance though disguised slightly by the white hair looked older.

" what do you have in mind?" I said turning on my side and tracing a finger down his chest.

" we stop hiding, after his birthday and just deal with it"

Hearing him speak bluntly about the situation was refreshing, but terrifying.

" I want to go home, with you and John"

" I thought you meant"

" I do mean that. I know you don't want too but this needs to be dealt with"

" but how?"

" I'll explain more after his birthday, I've been talking with Ana about it and we have a slight concrete plan, but I want the backup to be perfected, I just want you to have something to look forward too. Instead of just wondering where to hide next"

I nodded and he kissed me hand and closed his eyes. I curled against his chest, his heartbeat normal, as one of his hands stroked my back.

We must have slept for hours, the early sun was rising. The bells ringing in the distance. John must have slept with Ana again, no bother though. It's nice to have some sort of alone time, even if it's quiet and mostly sleeping. But I noticed John asleep in the corner bed, the light causing his hair to look so golden, just like how Jack's hair used to be.

The day went normally, I kept trying to figure out Jack's plan but who knows with him. We had the tools to kill Gabe, talon doesn't seem like a huge threat without him, so hopefully, that move will make them not have the most malice for us.

As the sun began to set John was excitedly playing with Lena and Jesse.

My back was leaning against some cushions as I listened to them talk about his birthday tomorrow, I glanced at the time and walked over to them.

" darling, you have a big day tomorrow, I think it's time for bed" I said softly.

He frowned " but- I'm too excited to sleep"

" hours will feel longer if you don't, and if you don't sleep then we cannot surprise you!" I said holding out my hand.

He grumbled, and Jesse laughed.

Then he hugged both of them tightly before latching onto my hand.

Reinhardt gently patted his head on the way to bed, John tried to beg him for a story but I shot Reinhardt a look. Once Willhelm gets started it could take hours for him to finish the story.

John was a bit upset but allowed me to read him a chapter of the hobbit. Jack entered the room to help tuck him in.

" are you two staying?" He whimpered.

" we will be back, but we have secret fun things to get ready for you" said Jack smiling.

" fine... " grumbled John.

" no grumpy faces before you sleep!" I said as I leaned over to kiss his forehead.

After a few minutes of coaxing he finally fell asleep. In the darkness I felt Jack's hands found the small of my back, his chin bumped into mine before our lips locked.

" I love you " he whispered after breaking away, his hand trailed down to my hand. The soft click of his mask returning to his face as we left the room.

As we entered the area we had planned to have the party in, everyone was working.

" did he get to sleep quickly ?" Asked Ana with a smile.

" mostly, he's just very excited!" I replied.

" I'll bet! It's all he's been talking about " said Fareeha with a grin.

" oh! I managed to put together a small turret and it shoots candy!" Said Torbjorn with a laugh and a nudge to Reinhardt who was hanging up the banner.

" uh... are you sure that's how that works?" I asked skeptically.

" oy! Ya were supposed to hang the piñata! Not make a candy barrage!" Giggled Lena.

" I picked out the piñata too" mumbled Jesse as he clamped his teeth tighter on his cigar.

" awww we'll smack it around later" Lena responded then burst into laughter " that came out wrong!"

Then her eyes got huge " so did that one!"

Jesse began to cough with laughter as Jack just sighed. I picked up some paper and began wrapping with Ana. I watched as Torbjorn showed off his candy projectile turret.

" why do people even bother with that fancy paper?" Asked Jesse pointing over to Ana and I.

" because it's tradition, and you know as a kid how half the excitement was ripping apart the paper"chided Ana.

" no, when I was a kid I was workin' no time for this kind'ov thing" Jesse said.

" oh can it! You've told me plenty of times about gettin' your first hat, so what a load of rubbish you are!" argued Lena.

Jesse pushed his hat down further before letting air out of a balloon as it flew at Lena, who darted away before the balloon even came close to her. But it did smack Winston on the side of his head.

" hey!" He grumbled

" sorry big guy!" Chirped Lena sweetly.

" you know, you could have just grabbed it, avoiding the Balloon hitting either of us" replied Winston with a smug grin.

Lena shrugged and flashed her cheekiest grin.

" love, what was your best birthday?" Asked Lena glancing over at Winston.

" oh! Uhm probably when I got my first Lab coat from... Harold" he said as his eyes went glassy for a moment.

" oh gosh, sorry big guy..." mumbled Lena.

I felt for him, my first coat was- I'm not going down that sad road, I don't need to clog my mind right now, I'm fine.I just feel bad for Winston.

" best birthday I had was when I got my first hammer" said Torbjorn suddenly.

"you didn't get that for a present, that was your parents throwing it at you!" chuckled Reinhardt, Torbjorn shot him a nasty look.

A chuckle rose to my throat, picturing a small Torbjorn.

" you probably were born with a beard" quipped Fareeha.

" peh! Well you were a little handful Fareeha!" Retorted Torbjorn.

" I was not! " she grunted only to be met with the stares of all of us.

" maybe a little, but it's all of your faults!" She argued.

" what was your best overwatch birthday?" Asked Lena.

" oh easy, the year Reinhardt wore a long blonde wig, since I had the poster of him from when he was younger, that night we had so much cake and ice cream, he fell asleep reading to me and I took the wig and wore it for weeks"

" I remember that " I said giggling, I know Jack did too but he couldn't chime in.

" oh! And yeh ended up smashing cake on all of us, the meeting room was a disaster area and the cleaning staff missed some of the confetti-" Torbjorn paused to laugh.

Reinhardt's laughter was echoing in the room, Hanzo looked mildly concerned for a moment.

" oh you need to finish this one" said Fareeha as she leaned forward waiting.

" unfortunately for Jack and Gabe, their chairs had it the worst of it, glitter and stars! When they sat down glitter went everywhere but mostly coating them! Angela was late... as usual!" He shot me a wink.

" so when she came in and sat another cloud of glitter was in the air, we had Gerard trying to maintain composure while talking to some of the UN members, then they had to walk around covered in confetti for the rest of the day, it was a real mess and the reason we no longer allow confetti-well. Why confetti was never allowed at overwatch events" his cheeks were bright red as he laughed along with the rest of us.

" awwww well I hope the temple won't mind these!" Shrieked Lena as she pulled the string on a party popper, spraying out confetti and string.

Nobody had time to react as a small spattering danced through the air.

Jesse lunged at her, which was his first mistake as he fell over grabbing at air. Lena was howling with laughter in the corner, Winston lunged after her but she blinked behind Hanzo, who looked slightly amused for once.

Bastions soft chirping in the corner as he tried to avoid the ruckus.

Ganymede flew up into the air and popped a balloon accidentally causing bastion to let out a scream of fear.

Winston immediately went over to calm him and reassure him that everything was okay.

Glancing around at the room, it looks ready, the presents wrapped, banners hung and everyone smiling and laughing while chatting.

This is my family and the family that has been raising my son, I looked warmly at Ana and Fareeha who were in their own little world.

" well gang I think zis is where we call it a night! Everything looks incredible! " boomed Reinhardt.

We all nodded in unison, as we cleaned up Lena's confetti.

I said good night to everyone as Jack and I continued further down to our room. He pulled me into his arms, carrying me.

" I can walk my darling " I whispered.

" well, five years ago, you were about to have our son, I feel the least I can do to honor that is to show you nothing but affection. And I know how much you like being carried" the sweetness of his words getting lost in the voice filter. He pushed open the door, the decorative screen blocking off John's bed from ours, as we checked that he was asleep. I heard his mask click off as he wrapped his arms around me from behind.

The chimes in the room providing the only noise as he whispered into my ear.

" thank you"

It was heartbreaking, it was beautifully heartbreaking.

I touched my hands to his as we stood there for a while just watching him sleep, Jack's chin resting on my head.

I turned to face him and pull him over to our side of the room.

He followed but dragged behind me. So when I kneed his stomach to push him on the bed he let out a soft gasp.

" Angela ,John is right-"

" I know, I wasn't intending anything I just want you in bed before you start berating yourself" I said as he pulled me down on top of him.

His fingers going through my hair and pushing it back, before kissing me.

" thank you" he whispered again.

" shush, no need to thank me" I replied smiling before I kissed him again.

" you know he's going to wake us up in about four hours"he groaned.

" I know" I whispered back as I snuggled against his chest, as I began to fall asleep I heard him speak softly.

" thank you, for everything mein Schnuckiputzi" ( cutie pie)

I contemplated arguing, he hadn't called me that in years and I regretted ever teaching it to him. But I know he need sleep. His lips brushed against my forehead as he pulled me closer, on hand on the small of my back and the other was on my arm.

I woke up to him pulling me even closer, his skin felt slick with sweat and I could feel his heartbeat pounding.

" darling-"

" it was a dream, I'm fine I just want to hold you" he whispered urgently.

I moved on top of him, laying my head next to his as I tried to peer into his eyes.

I went to stroke his cheek, and felt tear stains.i don't want him to feel bad today, it's our first birthday with him. Before his return I spent less than twenty four hours with John, this is a first for both of us and if he's upset about this...

"I love you" I whispered softly, all of his muscles tensed, the fingers on my back dug in a little deeper as the grip tightened.

" Jack, darling..." I whispered, trying to pull him out of this moment.

" get up, we are leaving this room for a minute okay?" I hissed.

He just picked me up, I grabbed his mask and attached it as I told him where to go.

Once in the secluded meditation room that usually housed Hanzo or Genji but was thankfully empty at the moment.

" nightmare? Emotional? Need dosage increase... " I started to ramble but he just gently let me stand on my own.

" help me out here" I pleaded, as I removed his mask I could see his eyes look so incredibly distant.

I just sat down on one of the brightly colored cushions, dipping some incense into a candle and breathed in the woodsy clove infused scent.

'If anything just getting him out of the room is good, getting him into a new location with a new scent will help calm his mind, and mine... it's your first birthday with John today, focus on being happy and not sad' is all I can think.

I focused on my breathing and clearing every corner of my mind until I heard a grunt as Jack sat next to me.

I opened my eyes and stared at him, his color returned and he looked more aware.

" I had a fucking nightmare " he grunted.

" first John, now you? Could it be the fear of finally being free that stirs up the other thoughts?" I replied.

He shrugged, then rubbed my back, each movement causing my own internalized tension to loosen.

" what was it about?"

He sighed and held me tightly.

" oh, rather not revisit it?"

" never again" he simply states.

I angled my body to kiss his chin, as his demeanor changed.

" in a room of meditation ange?" He smirked.

I rolled my eyes at him before moving my entire body to sit on him and kiss him.

It felt like a power struggle between us, his anxiety and fear driving him for control of the situation, while I tightened my grip and pushed him back. I could see the yearning in his eyes as I leaned over to kiss his neck.

" fuck" he breathed out before pushing my head aside to bite my neck tenderly.

My entire body shuddered in pleasure, as he gently placed kisses over the bite. In all our years he did learn how to avoid marking my skin, now it truly doesn't matter since it will heal anyways.

I could feel my legs shaking against him, trying hard to hold myself back from pouncing on him.

His lips pressed against mine as we fought yet again for control, I snatched his lip gently with my teeth and he growled softly before regaining his lip and pressing them to mine again.

The door squeaked open, and we both twitched as I slammed his mask aggressively on his face.

" oh uh! Brother! I told you you should have knocked!" Hissed Hanzo

" GREETINGS!" Shouted Genji playfully.

I could feel my cheeks burning red as I covered my face in my hands.

" our apologies, my brother didn't use his head" said Hanzo sounding absolutely embarrassed.

" it's fine, we probably shouldn't be in here anyways" I said.

" who is to judge how one experiences tranquility ? Or gets to tranquility" teased Genji.

Jack snorted with laughter, I'm mortified but at least we were just making out like a couple of teenagers and not...

Genji's laughter joined in " as my brother was saying, we are sorry, take all the time you need" and with that the doors closed.

I smacked him on the back, but he was still laughing.

" I for one am mortified!" I hissed

" ange, it's fine, nobody cares but you and maybe some monks" he was still laughing and the mask was making it sound raspier.

He pulled off the mask and smiled, I pushed his shoulder as he caught my hands.

" he won't be up for at least another hour my love" he whispered.

" we absolutely cannot do what you are thinking of doing " I argued.

" oh no my angel, that's later" he said with a wink.

" well, what did you mean then?"

" so hear me out, and you will probably find this ridiculous and stupid but"

I arched a brow and looked at him, he was avoiding eye contact, and it wasn't just the beautiful carvings that caused it.

" well it's his birthday but I got you something , well, I got someone to get you something- okay"

" okay?" I replied not quiet sure why he was fussing so much.

He ran a hand through his hair and sighed.

" what I'm trying to say is, you gave birth to him, all he had to do was grow inside of you and sponge off you"

" I didn't know this was a plot against babies for not helping with the birthing process " I said with a coy grin.

" I wasn't there and that will always bother me, always but I want to make up everything to you someday"

" you don't need too, it was safer for you that way" I answered.

" and now I'm relentlessly going over every depressing and traumatic moment to get to my point aren't I?"

" sort of " I said trying to force out a grin.

He frowned and ran his hands through his hair again, letting out a sigh.

"I just want to do something really nice for you and I feel I'm messing this up"

" I don't know what you have planned but don't you dare overstep his birthday"

" no , God no, this is for later. I just wanted to make sure that that would be alright?"

" I have no idea what I'm agreeing too, but alright " I say as I reached for his hand.

It was so quiet I could hear the last bit of ash fall into the tray.

" thank you" he suddenly said.

" for what? I'm in the dark my love"

" being perfectly you" he replied as he stood up, and began pulling me up.

I gave in as he embraced me, pulling me into a kiss before readjusting his mask.

As we entered our room John popped right out of bed and began jumping around us.

" happy birthday! " we said in unison.

 **A/N: Originally i wrote the second portion of this, and it's going to go up in a few days, because originally this chapter with the next chapter would have been 13,000 words. and normally my chapters are 4,000-6,000 and i didn't want to do that much of a chapter dump on anyone! So expect a new chapter in a couple days! sorry getting this one up took so long, but apparently it was because i over-wrote! Much love to anyone who is still reading this! and so much love to L0rdoftheMemes!**


	54. Chapter 54

**A/N: Two updates in a week?! whaaaat. Anyways! if you didn't notice i posted a chapter earlier this week, then please go back!**

" happy birthday! " we said in unison.

John jumped up at Jack who threw him over his shoulder and carried him around. John was laughing and wiggling, trying to playfully break free. I had to take a moment to enjoy this, and fully memorize it. The smile etched onto Jack's face as John tried to attack, his little fits smacking into the hard leather jacket and sturdy muscles. The laughter ringing in the room, before Jack set him back down onto the floor.

The sound of hands knocking against the solid wood door, I walked over to it, knowing it would be Ana and fareeha. I wasn't disappointed as I opened it to see their smiling faces, fareeha had an intricately carved tray in her hands with waffles and ice cream piled onto it.

" Kol sana w enta tayeb!" Ana shouted cheerfully with Fareeha.

( happy year of your birth? Something like 't quote me fully on that please! )

" thank you!" Squeaked John as he rushed to hug them, almost knocking the tray from Fareeha.

Fareeha smiled as she lowered the tray for him to grab the dish. He began to shovel the food into his face as we sat down with him. After a few bites his face fell and he looked sadly at Ana and Fareeha.

" this is what Meera would make for me" he said as he choked down tears.

" yes, and she would want you to continue with tradition!" Said Ana.

John sadly nodded.

" that is the saddest face I have ever seen eating ice cream for breakfast" Fareeha said, as she fussed with his hair.

I let out a soft sigh, Jack rubbed my shoulders.

" the first one is always hard" I said softly and John glanced over at me.

" huh?" He replied.

" when, after- my first birthday after losing my parents I just did what we always did, and it made me feel better. They are all gone, but we keep the memories brighter by remembering them. And realizing they wouldn't want us to be sad" I spoke softly and stared intently at my hands the entire time. John jumped up and hugged me.

" you aren't going to die right?" He asked

" I didn't mean it like that darling, I mean, important people come and go, but I'm here for you now my love" I said. I hate talking about these things, for all I know John doesn't know a thing about grandparents since his family here is so huge.

Every single form of emotion ran through me, bitterness, happiness, sorrow, joy, love, destruction but John's little hand grabbed mine, jolting me out of it.

" I love you" I said to him, and his face lit up as he kissed my arm.

" I love you too!" He replied. Then he let go and jumped onto Jack.

" I love you!" He shouted in Jack's face.

" do you?" Said Jack quirking a brow.

" yes!" Shouted John.

" wellll then you should go finish your breakfast" replied jack.

" but don't you-"

" of course I love you, kid" interrupted Jack.

I glanced over at Ana and Fareeha who had the same endearing look on their faces as they welcomed John back over to their side of the table. He happily threw himself back into eating.

For a few brief moments I could just relax and stare up at the golden glow of the lights in the room. His hand stroked my lower back, leaning over he whispered " Thank you" A smile crept onto my lips as felt a sense of pride.

"What are we doing next?" Squealed John.

" dishes, cleaning you know normal birthday things!" Teased Jack, for a moment John's face fell until he saw the smile on Jack's face.

" that was mean"

" no, actually making you do those things on your birthday would be mean!" Said Jack.

" he's right you know, however I was never mean, Fareeha was just a mess" Ana stated, her eyes shone with laughter as her daughter glared back.

" I wasn't a mess, YOU were mean" said Fareeha.

" she's not mean! " argued John.

" alright alright. It wasn't a nice thing for her to do... better?" Replied Fareeha with a smile.

" better!" Said John as Ana wiped some ice cream off the corners of his mouth, then began collecting the plates. Suddenly her face morphed into a smile.

" Fareeha, would you mind washing these for me?" She said with a laugh. Fareeha' eyes rolled so aggressively it was almost concerning.

" no, but we do have a surprise for all of you!" Said Ana with a twinkle in her eye.

" what is it?!" Shrieks John while hopping up from his seat.

" you all will have to follow me!" Said Ana. Jack put his mask back on after shooting me a confused look.

I pulled my hair into a bun as we walked around the halls we knew. Each turn confusing me more, before long we arrived in a courtyard completely covered by sheets, only lights shown in various colors but the air and trees providing the assumption that we were outside.

Ana moved over to us and smiled.

" nobody will bother us for at least an hour, but we wanted to take him outside again, even if it had to be done in such a silly manner"

" thank you" I replied happily as I stared up at the large statue of Mondatta.

The smallest slivers of actual sunlight peeking through, making the grass shine brightly. I know why they did this, Ana and Fareeha in the world, no big deal, but my kid? Winston? And anyone else all together would give away our location.

John took off after Fareeha, his body moved at an incredible speed.

" are you going to join them?" I asked Jack. He responded by sitting against a tree and patted the grass next to him.

As I sat down and felt the silky blades of grass below zipped by and joined in the fun as well as Winston. I questioned for a moment where Jesse was, but the scent of tobacco told me.

He glanced over and tipped his hat respectively at us, before letting his body slump to the ground to also enjoy the outside.

Knowing that they all planned this out for John was moving.

John rolled on the ground trying to break away from Fareeha's grip, some of it was a real struggle at times. I know how strong she is but he was getting too strong. She managed to overpower him, flinging him onto her shoulders as she ran around the enclosure with him. His arms raised up in the air while she held his feet.

"You are getting too strong!" I heard Fareeha say to him as she ran around.

Winston dashed in catching up and prying John from Fareeha, John's face completely lit up as Winston put him on his shoulders.

" this was really nice" Jack states.

" you sound apprehensive about that" I replied as I turned to look at him, only to remember he was wearing his mask.

" I'm always apprehensive" he replied with a kinder tone. Still concerning, but he is who he is. I reached down to hold his hand, only to find him holding some grass and inspecting it.

" this isn't good for the grass" he said.

" wait is that why you are apprehensive?!" I said with my amused smile breaking through the cracks at an attempt to remain serious.

"...no"

" oh gott!" ( oh god) I said with a laugh.

" I mean, It's nice to focus on that instead of a million other things" he mumbled.

I turned and smiled at him " I'm glad" I replied.

" also how is this any different from you at the summer games when you would do nothing but worry the entire time about who would get injured ? "

" if I remember correctly you were worried about the grass then too!" I argued.

He scratched the back of his neck, a habit he had whenever he was embarrassed.

" oh darling, I love you for it" I said softly.

" you love me because of grass, good! I'll make a mental note of that "

" question, are weeds a grass?"

" not this again, I cannot handle this again! Nope!" He said as he stood up and stretched.

I watched his muscles twitch as he did.

" ange, are you eyeing me up?"

" always my love"

" good to know I'm more to you than just piece of grass"

I groaned loudly at him, and his posture showed that he was pleased with himself and his horrible pun.

My brows furrowed for a moment before I burst into a heap of laughter.

" what's got into her?" Asked Lena as she zipped over.

" just Angela being herself" Jack replied as he went over to join the others.

Lena stared hard at me while I laughed.

" there was only one other person who could make you laugh like that..." she said, her eyes looked sad for a moment.

" but it's good to see ya happy again" she added with a distant look in her eyes.

As much as I tried to control my laughter I just couldn't.

Lena flopped down next to me.

" if you wanted to tell me anything you know ya could" her eyes looked hopeful.

" he told me a good joke and it's hysterical and I laughed, that's all" I said as I wiped a tear from my eye.

She frowned and looked down at her feet, so I pulled her head onto my shoulder.

" I just don't like secrets" she mumbled.

" neither do I, but it is what it is" I stated.

" Lena! " whined John as he stopped in front of her, his hands placed firmly on his hips as he stared her down.

"Yes love?" She answered as she peered up at him.

" aren't you playing?"

" of course!" She replied as she hopped aimed to rejoin, but before she did she gave me a curious look.

I hate not being able to tell her, but it's better this way. The grooves in the bark dug into my back a little, but I don't care. The little rays of sunlight peeking through the sheets make me happy and my son is happy. I wish we could stay out here longer but I know at any moment we will have to head back inside.

Winston scooped up John and ran around the rest of them, Jesse was bent over with his hands on his knees panting but with a solid smile on his face as Winston handed off John to him. As Jesse ran and then Jack intercepted, I have no idea what they are playing. That doesn't stop me from feeling relieved, my hands fumbled with my hair as I loosened the bun and began tying it up into a ponytail. Stray wisps blew freely as I fought with the wind, before just letting it down for good. A small gap in the sheets began to grow bigger as the wind picked up. I could hear them becoming quieter as Ana suggested we head inside for more activities.

The rest of the afternoon was lunch and relaxing while we all curled into piles of pillows to watch John's current favorite movie zootopia. John was curled between Ana and Fareeha and I could just snuggle into Jack's side. Reinhardt kept making jokes and saying he couldn't understand the talking animals, which John would take on as his personal mission to explain everything. His explanations ranging from joking and childlike to extremely intelligent for a now five year old.

' that's how I know he's so much like you' whispered Jack a few times during his explanations.

My parents always encouraged that, my dad more so, he would find me books and documentaries on everything I was interested in. There was rarely a time I wasn't reading. Now John is reading and writing... he's five. Our childhoods are beginning to mirror.

As the movie ended Jesse rushed into the room with the laser tag gear and put us into teams. John wanted to be with Ana and Fareeha but also wanted his dad, thankfully Jack told him to pick me as well. The vests and guns distributed as Jack ran me through working it, always the soldier. As much as I hate war and violence, soldier Jack is just, so appealing. The way he can command a room. The perfection of his movements, like a well choreographed dance.

" are you listening or just admiring?" Asked Jack cheekily.

I shook my head with a smile plastered on my face.

" can't I do both?" I asked sweetly.

" of course! " he murmured.

" match begins in three... two...ONE!" Shouted Lena.

She immediately fired in my direction as I dodged, being the field medic I had to be quick enough to avoid whizzing bullets and this was no exception.

I rolled myself behind an elaborate statue of an omnic I couldn't recognize. I spied John darting nearby, before climbing onto a beam, his little fingers sliding easily into the grooves of the wood as he peered down at me, shooting me the most adorable grin.

Within seconds I smelled the familiar tobacco of Jesse, I crawled behind a tapestry hanging from the beams. The red tones and gold embroidery swirling with the sudden movement. Scheisse, the smooth floors provided me with the perfect sliding surface as I slid onto my knees and behind another statue, unfortunately Jesse was quicker but John plopped down onto his shoulders.

" bam!" He shouted as he fired into Jesse's vest.

" aw shit!" Exclaimed Jesse. Not wanting to toss John he accepted his fate as John fired the remaining shots to declare Jesse ' dead'.

Fareeha darted over and blasted a shot at Winston. Poor guy, he was also done, I peeked out to see that we were ahead.

But then Genji flew out in front of me, but before he could fire, Jack jumped in front of me and fired.

" damn!" Uttered Genji. But Hanzo crept behind me and shot.

I whipped around and fired the last two to make Hanzo out as well.

" sorry brother, we appeared to have fallen for the bait" said Genji with a laugh as they joined the others.

" wait... Bait?!" I shouted.

Jack shrugged and John was giggling.

" well we won didn't we?!" Asked John with a grin.

" yes yes ..." I said with a sigh and an exaggerated eye roll.

" I love you darling" replied Jack as he placed a hand on my shoulder and pulled me in for a hug. Jerks, my boyfriend and my son are jerks.

" well, who wants cake?" Chirped Lena happily.

John ran off after her, as did the rest. Jack and I hung back for a moment.

" really ?" I asked.

" sorry, it was really the smartest strategy. I glared at him and I could just hear the laughter in his mask muffling as best as he could.

" come on beauty" he said while reaching for my hand that I pulled away for a moment just to bother him.

" angel..." he cooed.

My weakness.

I accepted his hand as we walked into the heavily decorated room, John was standing on his chair and Lena was holding the cake while Jesse noticed us entering and lit the candles.

Our darling son was turning five. A lump formed in my throat as we all sang to him. Waiting for him to blow out the candles, I hope his wish is reasonable. But he looked up and smiled before blowing them out. He closed his eyes for a moment and smiled brightly at us. Reinhardt was cutting and serving the cake.

The next hour was happily watching him eat and open presents. His favorite was from Torbjorn and Reinhardt. They made him some armor that perfectly fit him to look like a crusader. Getting him to remove it would be the hard part. He did however add the cowboy hat and mini gun holster to the gear, a truly hysterical site to behold.

Jack just held me tightly from behind with his head resting on my head. His pulse rate kept fluctuating, i tried asking if he was okay and he just nodded simply, but he remained quiet.

Ana wandered over to us " he's staying in our room tonight if that is okay? We have a few more amari traditions involving bedtime stories and hot chocolate"

" good" replied Jack, Ana nodded and had a mysterious smile on her face.

I'm a bit jealous, he's had all his birthdays with them, this is our first birthday with him.

" can we come in and say goodnight ?" I asked.

" of course! " replied Ana " I just know that you two could use some relaxation after today".

As everyone said their goodnights to a very sleepy but happy John, it was our turn. He walked inbetween us holding one hand of both of us. His strong little grip barely letting go as we helped him into the little bed.

Ana and Fareeha left us alone with him for a few.

" did you have a good birthday my love?" I asked as I brushed his hair off his forehead. He smiled sleepily at me " the best" he replied.

" well I hope you got everything you wished for" I said as I studied his face.

" I always wanted a birthday with my parents " he said with a yawn. The lump in my throat came back, as I kissed his forehead and blinked back tears.

" I love you" I said softly.

" I love you too mommy" he said kissing my cheek.

" and I love you daddy" he added.

" I love you too kid, be good for Ana and Fareeha " said Jack as he helped me back up.

" I will!" He chirped.

As we left the room Jack's grip on my hand got tighter.

" darling, what is wrong? " I asked trying to keep my voice down, I didn't want Reinhardt, Winston and Torbjorn to chime in, they had begun drinking and their laughter was booming.

" I'm distracted I'm sorry" he said sheepishly.

" about what?! " I asked.

" everything" he replied. Probably a better answer than listing the pile of problems we currently have.

" hey, actually ange, could you do me a favor?" He asked suddenly sounding upbeat.

" of course!"

" can you go ask Lena about the hat? I just want to make sure that he didn't lose it earlier " said Jack.

" uh- it's missing already?" I swear he was just wearing it...

" well you know how kids are"

" one kid, and Fareeha when she was young, and you used to be one"

" okay-" I replied feeling more confused than before.

" thank you angel" he said as he walked off, I turned back down the empty hallway and followed the sounds of laughter.

" Angela! So happy you could join us!" Boomed Reinhardt, his stein almost tipped over with the force of his arm movements.

" actually I just wanted to find John's hat" I replied. Lena looked up at me and smiled for a moment.

" oh I got it! Well we got it! Must've dropped off when he was Fallin' asleep!" She answered happily.

" but ya know, you could stay for a few?" She added.

" I probably shouldn't " I answered, desperately wanting to get back to my room but Lena slid over Jesse's flask. I unscrewed the cap and took a whiff.

" when did he get this one?" I asked as I took a small sip, it's not like alcohol does anything to me in small amounts anymore, for a moment it does but vanishes almost instantly. It burned a little but the woody bite had me go for another.

" like that one?" Asked Jesse tipping his hat.

" it's better than what you usually get"

He laughed along with Reinhardt and Torbjorn.

"Yer right! " he said brightly as he kicked up his boots on the table. Lena scowled at him for a moment but then look at her own perched position on the chair.

" well, I'm heading to b-"

" no, stay with us for a bit longer love!" Said Lena, but she looked mischievous.

" what?"

" just hang out a bit longer, we never get to see ya anymore and"she started and turned to Winston who immediately got flustered.

" I HAVE A QUESTION!" He blurted out.

" well?" I said as I crossed my arms over my chest, I hate surprises and I hate whatever is happening.

Wait that's negative, I will enjoy the surprise and not be upset.

" well, why don't waterproof bandages stay on?"

" what kind are you using ?" I asked clearly pandering.

" oh uh, the ones with the bananas on them"

" I don't think I can recognize a brand from that " i replied, my lips curled into a smile.

" oh yeah, I'm sorry!" Winston said bashfully as he shot a look at Lena.

Lena looked at him wide eyed and began trying to form sentences.

" I think what she is trying to say is why don't you just stay out here a little longer" said Jesse as he shook the flask at me.

" alright, you are all being too weird"

I didn't mean to sound exasperated but it's been an emotional and physically draining day, they all just stared expectantly at me. I grabbed the flask from Jesse and slumped back into the chair.

" I've been meaning to ask how your wings have been functioning" said Torbjorn suddenly.

" uh, you repaired them last time and they work just fine, thank you... wait. Is something wrong?!" The fear came back into my voice.

" I just like being prepared, I've been workin' on meh turrets lately and figured what's more little project?" He argued.

" oh, well they are fine as they are, thank you " I replied as Torbjorn nodded in approval.

I feel very much on the spot right now, so I turned to Lena and smiled.

She couldn't keep firm eye contact, I rather enjoy how terrible she is at keeping any sort of secret.

The conversation turned towards the day and about John's ambush on Genji.

" he's so sneaky, I don't know how he already managed that skill at such a young age" mumbled Genji.

" you were the same way when you were his age, so don't try to deny it" said Hanzo sternly.

The sudden drop in Genji's shoulders as he looked like a child all over again.

" alright, now may I go?" I asked.

" what? Nobody was keeping you here!" Giggled Lena.

I rolled my eyes and poked one of her hair spikes as she swatted back.

Making a quick exit when I bumped into zenyatta.

" I hope you all had a good day today! Birthdays are a very joyous occasion" he said as his fingers clicked together.

" it was wonderful I hope we weren't too loud" I said truly worried since it always seems so quiet here.

" most of this building is soundproof, it was meant to be, and so it is" he said slowly blinking at me.

" I do have a question for you, at a later time. For tonight is a celebration. I do not wish to burden you with inquires"

" I don't mind" it's the least I can do to repay the shelter and safe haven.

" I want to show you more of our work, but not tonight. It will be a process"

" not a problem, I would love to help" I replied.

He gave me a symbolic wave and bowed his head slightly as he floated away.

Constantly in a meditative state, admirable but nice.

Arriving at the door with no more interruptions was a relief, but it was locked.

" hey" I whispered while softly knocking.

Silence, I pulled out my phone but then the door opened, and Jack's hand reached for mine as I walked into the room lit by tons of candles.

" what the-" I started.

" I'm horrible at this stuff, and I wish there were other circumstances and locations but..." he paused and in the low light I could see a smile on his face.

" what?"

He pushed the hair away from my neck as he softly stroked it. The gentle sensation making my eyes flutter. He leaned down and kissed me, his thumb tracing my jaw line.

" Angela, you are the absolute love of my life, the kindest and most forgiving person I know... and the mother of our son, and I know I've fucked up consistently but, I want to make this right. I feel like everything has been working against us and I just want you to know how much I love and care about you" he said.

" and I want us to have a normal life, as normal as it can be, but... fuck. I don't know how to tell you this, I thought I did and now I don't feel that I can"

" well, you don't have to tell me anything that would upset you " actually I wish he would, but I don't want him to be in a bad mental state.

" I just wanted to do something nice for you" he said softly.

" and you have!" I replied. The glow of the candles took me back, he's done this before, it's such a cliche but I love it. His jaw twitched, the shadows exaggerating it.

One arm slid behind my back as he lifted me, the other arm nestled under my knees as he gently placed me in bed.

" I don't have much to offer you" he whispered into my ear.

" that's never bothered me, and you have plenty to offer" I replied as I whispered into his ear, his head instinctively twitched to the tickle of my breath on his neck.

His rough hands ran down my arms as he kissed my lips gently.

" angel, you are perfect" he breathed before kissing my neck, gently nibbling on my earlobe before suddenly pulling away.

" I just wanted to thank you , for loving me, putting up with me-" he started but I placed my index finger across the scar on his lips.

" I never ever put up with you, I love you" I corrected him, his eyes flickered up at me and he kissed my finger.

" may I continue?" He asked as his eyebrow darted up.

" I suppose" I replied with a smirk, the one he couldn't resist.

" no distracting" he grunted.

I returned my face to a smile and motioned for him to continue.

" I just wanted to have a night to just thank you, for being my wonderful angel, and the most wonderful mother for our kid, I know there's a holiday for that-"

" an American holiday" I interjected and he just rolled his eyes and snorted.

" sorry, continue!" I stated.

" ah forget it" he said, looking rather sad.

" no, darling continue! I'm so used to you giving me attitude that I thought I should, and you went to all this trouble and I'm sorry. I'm ruining it" I felt horrible. He looked away for a moment, and I tried to touch his back but he flipped around and pinned me to the bed.

" attitude and terrible jokes are my job" he stated.

" well you weren't doing your job then" I said attempting to shrug my shoulders,but i burst into laughter, his face just a few inches away from mine as I craned my neck to kiss him which he happily accepted.

" I love you" he breathed like a prayer in between kisses.

" I love you too" I sighed happily as he curled next to me , his arms protectively wrapping around me.

" someday soon darling, everything will be less chaotic and you if you accept will be Angela Morrison, in theory anyways"

" in theory?" I said quirking a brow.

" well marrying a legally dead man would be weird"

" I'm already weird! It's the word most attached to my name"

" no... mercy is" he whispered kissing my temple. When he says ' mercy' it sounds like the most beautiful word, it sounds like hope. It had been tarnished so much during the decline of overwatch and even to this day.

" are you asking me to marry you?" I said as I turned onto my side staring at him.

" I'm pretty sure I have a million times before just never personally gave you the ring"

" oh... right"

" fuck. I mean it's yours! It's always been yours, you gave it back and..."

" because it's for you to physically give" I said softly.

" ... yeah I guess that's how that works isn't it?" He said.

" wait! And another way!" He added with a mischievous grin.

" what other-" before I could finish he rolled off the bed and onto the floor.

" Angela..." he whined.

" are you alright?" I asked as my palms pressed onto the edges of the bed peering down at him.

"Maybe? It's just-"

" WHAT?"

" Angela, I've fallen for you-" he started trying to keep a straight face but the corners of his mouth twitched into a smile.

" what" I said as flatly as I did the last time he pulled this joke all those years ago.

" I've fallen for you" he repeated, and moved to one knee " and I wanted to know if you would be willing to-" he paused and flinched.

" check my knee because I think I twisted it" he said.

I snorted and flopped back onto the bed.

" Angela! " he grunted.

" what?"

" you should probably make sure I didn't injure anything"

" the only thing you injured was my sanity" I mumbled.

" awww you don't remember?"

" of course I remember, second date... you scared me when you fell and then whispered that to me, it was corny then, and it's corny now" i stated.

" Angela I really think you should check my knee" he said with a painful hiss.

Concerned I leaned back over the edge only to see him cheekily smiling... on one knee, with the ring out in his palm.

The sound that exited my mouth was a squeal and a shriek.

His smile got so wide that he was squinting.

" i-" I started but my heart pounded so fast, and I just pounced on him. The small rug protecting the fall, as my lips found his. One of his hands pressed against the small of my back while the other cupped my cheek.

" is your answer still the same?" He asked as he pulled my face away from his for a moment.

" of course" I replied breathlessly, as my forehead rested against his. One tear ran out of his right eye as he quickly closed his eyes trying to blink it away.

" I mean yes" I said with a smile as I kissed where the tear fell.

But my own mixed down with his, as he held me tightly before nose brushed my cheek and he kissed again.

Before pulling away and gently placing the ring on my finger, his hand shook as he did it.

" shouldn't we keep this between us? I mean, Lena's seen this before and wouldn't it be weird if-"

" it's your choice, but , soon it will be time for them to know "

My body felt a jolt of joy, I hate secrets. The relief of openness, but also everything that that entails. The attack must be happening sooner than he hinted before.

His body pushed up as he picked my body up, his heart was still racing as he climbed onto the bed with me.

" I'm going to need that confirmation" a gravely voice grumbled.

"no me apresures" ( don't rush me) she argued back, turning around in her chair and urging the larger man to leave the room. Her nails clicked away at the captured photos. It would be so easy to destroy these, to wipe everything clean. A sharp hiss left her lips after she knocked back a shot.

 **A/N: As promised the second half of the chapter! so uh. Yeah. Thank you all for reading this and giving me feedback! Thank you thank you, and a shoutout to L0rdofTheMemes and TheMdogs for being fantastic! Truly, to all reading this i love and appreciate you.**


	55. Chapter 55

My hand felt cold upon waking up. Glancing down I saw the ring again and held back my excitement but a slight squeak came out. Jack's muscles in his back twitched as he rolled onto his side again to glare groggily at me. But instead of glaring he had a dopey sleepy smile on his face, I swooped down to kiss his tired lips. Even in his sleepy state he reached up trailing his hand down my naked body.

" good morning to me" he teased as he kissed down my chest and abdomen. Stopping when I started squirming. " don't want to repeat last night?" He murmured kissing my thighs. 

" of course I do" i said trying to focus as his fingers circled across my hipbones, but the moment I uttered those words he moved his arms behind my back and began working on the best orgasm of the morning.

After some frenzied love making and utter exhaustion from everything he lifted me up as we went into the shower together. His lips touching my skin gently, as water ran around them. After a few minutes of warming up and everything feeling clean and incredible the door was pounding.

" that's probably John " said Jack as he kissed my shoulder and jumped out.

" I'll bring your clothes in here" he added as he dried off and left the bathroom.

This is too happy. Too normal, I let myself sit down as the water ran down my back. My foot stopping it from draining.  
Jack quickly threw my clothes on the floor before closing the door. I could hear muffled sounds of Jack and John talking excitedly. What sounded like a scuffle, I wish they wouldn't play so rough... and eventually the sounds of a game breaking out.

I laid back as the water pooled around my body, the exposed areas frozen, the perfect numbing, warmth and cold. Exactly how I feel, there's so much happiness and there is so much to deal with. I know that it's only going to get harder, he has to kill what used to be his best friend. Something happened to him, something changed. I tugged on a strand of hair, twirling It around my finger and pulling harder. Wait. Amelie was changed, in more ways than one... I know I've thought this through before but it's still such a bitter road to go down. I can fix her I can change her, would it work on him ? Could I possibly change him?

" moooommmy " whined John outside the door.  
" coming darling" I replied sitting up, and rinsing off completely. I can't, I can't take that risk and that will be the hardest thing to accept. I dried myself off, taking in the warm steam while I still could. Slid into the clothes , debated putting the ring back on, did and exited the warmth of the bathroom for the arms of my son.

" hey sweet one" I said as he jumped at me, even though he is heavy I've had heavier patients I've had to move. He's nothing comparatively. " how was your night?" I asked him while spinning in a circle. " great! I even had cake for breakfast!" " you did? Who let you have cake for breakfast?!" I said as I stopped spinning and just held him. " Ana! Well. It was Fareeha but it was also Torbjorn , and Lena and-"  
" it was a group effort?"  
" yes! " he squeaked. Jack was laughing in the corner of the room, while picking up some toys that were already strewn about.

The majority of the day was spent in the room, playing and reading. Jack could always do the voices better than me, but now that John could fully read he just enjoyed the entertainment factor anyways. John was snuggled in between us, holding the book open, jack kept holding my hand behind him. His finger absently stroking the ring from time to time, I would glance over at him and his smile would be so wide. From the outside this looks perfect, a happy little family reading their son stories, you wouldn't think this family had the weight of the world on them My darling soldier who wants so desperately to hang it all up, to have more days like these. To have the normal life, the life overwatch stole from us. Would I ever stop being a doctor once this was all over? Could I ever go back to it?

John's soft sleeping breathing during his unscheduled nap, maybe the hobbit isn't catching his interest as much as I thought. Jack leaned over and planted a chaste kiss on my lips.  
" I have to go discuss some plans with Ana" he whispered.  
" go ahead" I replied softly, his eyes flicked to my lips as he kissed me again. As he stood up and stretched I snuggled back up with John watching as Jack left. I'm ready for this, I don't think it's going to be simple. He's acting like it's simple, if it was so simple why didn't they accomplish this years ago. Years... ugh. The warmth of the room and John's soft breathing knocked me out for an hour, only waking when John poked my nose.  
" Reinhardt!" He demanded.  
" okay okay mein schatz" ( my love). I fixed my hair and held out my hand for John. He brushed it aside, oh well, he is getting older I suppose. We left the room, John was running his hand along the stone walls and I followed the sound of Reinhardt's laughter.  
" ah hello my friends!" He shouted happily at us.

" and what do we want to do today?" He asked.  
" fight! Teach me to be a crusader!" Said John.  
Reinhardt looked up at me, Hanzo and Genji even stared over expectantly. I just threw up my hands in ' I given up' sort of way.  
"Then I shall teach you!" Said Reinhardt.  
" mommy I forgot my armor" whined John.  
" I'll get it darling" I said as I left the room. Now I know how Ana felt, luckily he's so young and can change his mind, but he's so much like his father. Quickly gathering up his armor, trying not to mess anything up when finding the boots. I made my way back into the room, John was jumping up and down in joy. As I set the pieces on the table, Reinhardt caught my hand. The stone glimmering in the light. He looked up at me and let out a hearty laugh.  
" so zat is what the old boy was up too! " he chuckled.  
" what?" Asked John peering up at me. Scheisse! How did we forget...  
Reinhardt tried to hold back his joy as he looked at John.  
" John, darling... it's just a- ah" I twisted the ring on my finger.  
" oh that, daddy asked me if that was alright" said John nonchalantly as he held up his arms for me to put on the gauntlets.  
" did he?" I asked.  
" yeah, hurry up mommy" whined John.  
" don't rush me" I scolded, he frowned but Reinhardt made a face at him and he was beaming again.  
Once John was all suited up he stood in front of Reinhardt at attention. I backed away and sat on some floor cushions, but Hanzo and Genji moved in closer.

" I believe congratulations are in order" said Hanzo as he clapped a hand on my shoulder.  
" thank you" I said smiling.  
" yes, good... good for you Angela " said Genji.  
" although I do not believe now is the proper time for such trivial things " added Hanzo. Genji threw down a hand on his shoulder.  
" little brother I do not believe you would understand " Hanzo hissed.  
"It's not some hurried decision, we aren't getting married tomorrow, it's just more of a promise" I said trying to deescalated the brothers varying views.  
" that is wise" uttered Hanzo while leaning back.  
Genji reached for my hand to admire the ring for a minute, his hand lingered for a bit too long as he mumbled that he was truly happy for us.  
" thank you" I leaned back and watched Reinhardt swinging around a toy hammer before handing it to John who imitated him.

" does Lena know?" Asked Genji.

" I assume so" truly I do believe he told her, but who knows? Where was she anyways? Usually her and Jesse are always where the group is.  
" hammer down!" Boomed Reinhardt, I jumped a little at the sudden shout.

John was giggling hysterically as he repeated the action, his shout much less intimidating.  
" many rumors of another massive war in numbani" said Hanzo absently while watching the news on his phone. I glanced over, the reporter seemed unphased. I feel horrible that we can do nothing to promote peace, especially in an area that Lucio worked so hard on restoring. Just like that Lucio was on tv, promoting peace more than his new album, my heart ached for him right now. The report kept trying to ask him about Hana and he just kept bringing the subject back to Vishkar. Good for him, his eyes had the same look of determination when he originally asked for my help all those years ago. His voice has only gotten louder and more powerful, he has the charisma of Jack did when he commanded over overwatch.

" mommy!" Shrieked John as he ran toward me with a look of bewilderment.  
" HAMMER DOWN!" He screamed as he slammed down the toy in front of me.  
I jumped back and stared at him before bursting into laughter. Suddenly Lena zipped in and began making shooting noises at John. Jesse was slowly sauntering behind her, his hat tipped unusually low before he slumped into a chair nearby. His hands rubbed across his face for a moment before shaking out his hair and turning and offering a smile.

" hey love! You wrestle with him a minute! I need to steal Ange" chirped Lena as she spun on her heels while spinning John around with her. Jesse sighed and opened his arms as she flung John into him. My heart skipped a beat for moment as Jesse nonchalantly caught him. Lena motioned for Hanzo and Genji to move, Hanzo did immediately. His precise movements echoing his refined nature as he exited the room.  
" I can stay" said Genji with excitement.  
" fine" said Lena as she flopped into the spot that Hanzo was in. Her eyes looked at mine and I tried looking away, I don't want to see either the sadness or the frustration in them today. Instead her hand grabbed mine, as she squealed.  
" oh I was hopin! He just said he wanted to do something special for ya! " her feet kicked out in glee. " how's the little guy taking it?"

" he's happy I suppose " " ya think so?" Said Lena as she studied the ring harder. Her brows furrowing as she looked at me, I know he's still deciding but he was fine with me wearing it so part of him must be ready.  
" I doubt he'd approve. At least he was full of jokes despite all the seriousness. " said Lena eyeing me.  
" what is that supposed to-"I started.  
" yeah he'd crack a smile more often, who knows if he ever smiles" murmured Genji.  
" speak for yourself" I said tapping his mask. He jerked his head away quickly before the mask gave a wheeze as it opened.  
" but I open mine from time to time"  
" and he does the same around John and I " I stated as I searched his face. A sad almost hurt look washed over it.  
" Angela, we have always been here for you " he said softly.  
" actually, no you haven't..." as the words left my mouth I regretted them.

We worked through this, we all worked through this. He slammed his mask shut and began to get up. I could tell immediately that I hurt him, but he hurt me. I forgave him and I know it wasn't easy coming to terms with it.  
" love... I don't think she meant it that way" said Lena.  
" but she did, I am a different man now. But apparently she does not see that. She still sees the aggressive spoiled man child" he stormed off, I wanted to go after him. I should go after him. We became so close living together, he listened to me cry for endless nights about Jack. But had we truly sorted ourselves out? Had I truly forgiven him or myself for what I turned him into... for what I turned Reyes into?  
" Ange..." said Lena as she rubbed my shoulders.  
" I'm sorry love, I'm happy for you, I shouldn't have tried to put a damper on your good news. We just worry bout you "

Somehow a tear slid down my cheek, adding to the frustration of the entire situation. " are you okay mommy?" Asked John. Jesse and Reinhardt turned to stare, I want to run out of here. But I just sat, listless, biting on my lip and digging my nails deeper into my palms. The calming pops of my nails breaking flesh as I cringed.

" I'm fine darling" I answered after a moment of silence.  
" no you are not " insisted John.  
" Love, go play with Reinhardt and Jesse, I've got this" Lena sweetly said to him.  
" was he mad about daddy?" Asked John, too smart. He's too fucking smart.  
"He's just dealing with some things John" said Lena. John broke free from Jesse and plopped onto my lap.  
" but dad likes Genji, he always has" insisted John.  
" of course he does" I said. I could feel Lena's eyes darting at everyone trying to fully piece together the simple puzzle.  
" everything is okay, don't worry" I said unto his golden hair while gently placing a kiss on his forehead.  
" I don't believe you" he mumbled.  
" you don't have too" I answered, he turned his head around to frown at me and I managed to smile at him.  
" you should go talk to him" said John after a moment.  
" should I?" " yes, you should" he said as he poked my cheeks.  
" you are probably right"  
"ich habe immer Recht" he answers with a grin. What, my son just said he is always right in perfect German. My hands flung forward to scoop him closer.  
" I think you may have been learning too much from Reinhardt!" I teased. He giggled and nestled his head against my neck.  
" I cannot learn enough!"  
" ja? das ist wundervoll" ( yes? That is wonderful ) i replied. I held my son tightly as my mind began to wander back to Genji. I had forgiven him, this is all quiet ridiculous to still be arguing about. He's right, I should just go and talk to him.  
" alright darling, I'll go talk to him"  
" good" he said with a smile as he jumped up again to rush over to Reinhardt.

Lena offered me a small smile, but her eyes showed something different. That same sadness she kept hinting at, that realization that I couldn't tell her. My slow walking towards the door, thinking of the entirety of Genji coming back to life, Lena and him trained a lot together when she joined. I doted on her as did Jack, our worry about her first mission. The convincing I had to do to get Jack to agree... she has always been talented. I know it hurt her when she thought he died, but she was still by my side. A sigh left my lips, I couldn't hear anything. The long hallway was still, too still. Zenyatta wasn't joking about the sound proofing. I approached his shared room with Hanzo and hesitated. My hand raised about to knock when the sound of Jack's boots rushed towards me.  
" I need a minute, we need a meeting and I want to tell you before- well. " he paused and agitation mixed with urgency was in his voice.  
" alright" I replied as his hand pressed against my back pushing me towards our room.

The pressure creating a panic to course through me. We entered our room and the pacing began.  
" we have location on him, and need to head out as soon as possible" he said after a moment. I felt the color drain from my face, a lump tightening around my throat.  
" alright..." I answered slowly.  
" you aren't coming" he added as he turned on his heel.  
" what..." the anger and frustration in my voice.  
" you are too valuable"  
" was zur hölle?!" ( what the hell/fuck) I screamed, it just popped out.  
" angel..."  
" Nein! wir halten zusammen" ( no! We stick together) i hissed at him, the mask hiding his expression, which only furthered my anger.  
"du hast gesagt ... du würdest uns nicht verlassen" ( you said... you wouldn't leave us ) I added my voice cracking and I could feel my chest heaving. All this build up for him to just do this, to just go and handle it himself.  
" I wouldn't do this if I had another option" he said, his voice sounding more emotionless with the addition of the voice filter.

My nails dug deeper into my palms. I felt his body try to hold me still as I struggled to get out of his grasp. Nothing could make me feel better. He let me go and took off his mask looking at me with those sad blue eyes.  
" I wouldn't do this... if I had another choice" he said again. My hand reached up to the scar across his face.  
"Was ist mit dem letzten Mal?" ( what about last time?) uttered from my mouth, immediate regret followed, swallowing me whole, his eyes fell. I can't lose him again, I won't. Instead he just held me tightly, his own body was shaking against mine.  
" I'll have a team this time, I'll have your device and it will work"  
" how can you be so sure?" I asked as I tried to calm myself but a thousand thoughts kept rushing.  
" because this time, I have help. We know the target, and I'm sick of hiding" he whispered before pressing his lips to my forehead.  
" but I don't want you to go" I sighed, closing my eyes tightly to avoid yelling or sobbing. But I could feel my body tending more and more.  
" we knew this day would come" he said, his hand stroking my cheek.  
" I thought we would be fighting together "  
" I need you with John, I need you two to be far away from this mess. I wish I had more time to go into this. But there just isn't any time" his eyes locked onto mine. That old twinkle appeared in them for a moment, and in that moment I could see strike commander, not the vigilante. He kissed my cheek before reaching for his mask, but I pushed that away and pressed my lips to his. A surprised gasp echoed from him, as he kissed with a passionate fire.  
" I love you" he breathed while pulling away. I nodded, as I watched him pull on his mask. His hand laced with mine as we left the room. What if this is the last time I hold him... I chewed on my lip until the metallic taste filled my mouth. It was fine within the short walk.

Fareeha was rushing around with Ana and Lena. The entire crew busying themselves. Ana smiled as she packed up the kits I made for destroying him. I wish I could smile like her, but battle was her calling. Who would be staying back with me? I glanced around, John was bouncing around with Reinhardt. I glanced over at Jack and back at my medical kit, I dug through my personal stash of nanotechnology to find the shots I had been injecting myself with for years. Everyone has had them just not at the frequency I have. I want to make sure everyone has a boost, so I set to work on that as quickly as possible. I jabbed Lena's arm as she passed, followed by Jesse who scowled and yelped at me. Torbjorn however saw what was coming and willingly let me inject him. The bustle of everyone was overwhelming, the fluttering in my chest as I watched them all move in slow motion. John seemed excited by the rush of it all, but Reinhardt kept him close and out of the way. We had spares of the kit to destroy him, slept with one under the bed just in case. Jack tried being reassuring that this was a protected place. Probably the safest place we have hidden, to no longer hide would be amazing. Who knows what Jack would do, but John and I could be out. This is all good, they have this planned, everything will be fine. There was still a gnawing apprehensive feeling. I still hasn't spoken to Genji, and he seemed to be avoiding me, was he going or staying this time? No clues as him and Hanzo rushed by. I finally managed to give Hanzo a shot when he slowed down slightly near me. Just a boost for everyone, nothing near what I have become because that takes time... but a boost sets the mind slightly more at ease. I truly don't want to upset anyone else today, it feels like a constant parade of fucking up. My own emotions getting in the way of being a fully functional person. Making medications for everyone and everything else except for my own thought processes. I rubbed my temples, everything and everyone should be ready by now. How long has he known about this, could this entire proposal be his way of preparing for the worst? My eyes began to water as I watched Jack talk with Ana in the cockpit. I want to go, I should be going, if I'm a target why am I being left behind?

I noticed his boots next to my feet.  
" angel" he softly said, the voice distortion not as obvious for that brief word. I shakily stood up and wrapped my arms around him, the leather jacket giving a slight creak as I gripped him tightly.  
" I love you" he said as he stroked my back. I buried my face further into his chest, trying so hard to hide my tears that were freely pouring. I don't need John to see this. His mask bumped against my head, I just want to feel him.  
" just once" I whispered. He grunted and picked me up, quickly taking me to a secluded spot so he could remove his mask. I leaned up to catch his lips, and a passionate response formed between us, before he pulled away and kissed my forehead.  
" I love you" he sighed, I glanced up at his handsome face.  
" I love you please be safe"I softly said as I studied every inch of him.  
" of course" he replied as he put his mask back on.  
We walked back out quickly and he went over to hug John who suddenly didn't want to let go. I tried to pry him off Jack but it was no use, his strength and his whines causing quiet the scene. Reinhardt scooped him up and held him for a moment before handing him to me and standing next to us. Seeing everyone together on the ship caused a pang of loneliness. But they have a good team. Everything will be fine... it has to be.

" are you staying with us?" Asked John.  
" but of course! Zis is my duty! " Reinhardt replied with pride.  
It was for the best, after all the treatments he refused from me, he was older and even was forced to retire at one point. I watched as the doors closed, my eyes locked on Jack's form until they were gone. I tried to swallow the lump in my throat but it refused. I need them all safe, but this is what they decided.

 **A/N: Uh. Hello! So it's been one whole year since i started writing this. I hope i improved a lot since the first couple (all) this one took so long, i once again over-edited. Didn't save the original of it, so this is what is left. I apologize if it isn't what anyone was looking for. I sound more down than i am, it's been a rough couple of weeks, but most of it has been fixed! i am rambling. I hope you all get the winter skins you want! Still upset there isn't a tacky sweater 76... Anyways! HAPPY ONE YEAR MY LOVES. Thank you so much for reading this far, seriously. Thank you. (apologies is the format is a mess, it posted originally in terrible format, i tried to fix it)**


	56. Chapter 56

They were gone, I was left with John and Reinhardt. There was of course an entire monastery above us, complete with monks will to protect us, if Zenyatta revealed us or in danger.

" so what shall we do?" Asked Reinhardt.

" fight!" Shouted John as he wriggled away from me.

A hearty laugh bellowed from the large man, his cheeks went red as the sounds rang. relief went through me. I curled up on the plush cushions, once again watching from the outside. John was getting better and better at disappearing in the ceiling and popping out and surprising me. I glanced at my phone, no word and nothing on the news.

" is everything all right?" Asked Reinhardt as he stomped around the room peering up at the rafters for John. In an attempt to avoid him from surprising him.

" he's found ways to crawl all through the temple, it's quiet impressive for a boy so young, and impressive architecture" said Reinhardt.

I nodded as I looked up. The beautiful carvings intertwined with the lightings. I saw a little hand poke down, pointing up at him for Reinhardt's sake.

John let out a playful yelp as he dropped, my heart raced until Reinhardt safely caught him.

" John!" I called out as he looked over at me.

" can you please try to be careful?" I pleaded.

" I'm careful, it's safe up there! Join me!" He yelled as he scrambled towards the wall, his little hands gripping at the raised surfaces. Nimbly climbing up higher and higher before swinging to the beam. My heart kept racing faster as he climbed, well... Jack was raised on a farm and probably climbed everything as well. The corners of my mouth went into a smile picturing it, then picturing John there. Just knowing that could be a very real option soon is encouraging. Then the thoughts began soaring back to the team, my family, going against talon with small numbers. That left a bad taste in my mouth. I felt the leftover syringe i had on me. I should probably return this to the room so John doesn't get his hands on it.

" hey mom!" Squeaked John.

My eyes tracked to John as he swung above me.

" John! " I Shouted my voice shaking.

" what? " he replied, smiling at me.

" get down right now!" I yelled.

Then to my horror his mischievous grin before he swung harder and launched himself over to another pile of pillows.

My eyes squeezed shut for a moment, as I pressed my fingers to my temples.

A large hand slapped my back, along with a chorus of laughter from Reinhardt and John.

" you are both terrible" I mumbled as John rolled around on the pillows.

I snuggled back down against the cushions and smiled as John made faces at Reinhardt who made equally ridiculous faces back.

" thank you for playing with me" he chirped at Reinhardt.

" of course my comrade! " replied Reinhardt with a chuckle.

" mom isn't much of the playing Mom" added John, I felt hurt again.

" you should have seen your mother when she was younger! All work, but she knows how to have fun" Reinhardt said with a grin.

That was so kind of him to say! My mouth pulled into a smile.

" really? "

" oh yes, she did a lot of challenges that most wouldn't do, it might have been her tiredness causing it all. But your mother is a wonderful person"

" thank you!" I said warmly.

" but she still doesn't play war with me"

" my boy, she's been through enough battles and cleaned and healed people all the way through it. Her views are different but that doesn't make her not playful. She plays plenty of things, for example: cards, board games, and—"

" those aren't fun" pouted John.

I tossed a pillow at him, and he started giggling.

Reinhardt let out a roaring laugh until John struck him with a pillow as well.

" see! See my boy! Zis is what I was talking about!" He said as he threw the pillow back at John.

I flung another pillow at John, the blue silk shimmering as it landed in his lap.

" what else?" Asked John as he tossed back the pillow, I raised my hand to smack it back, nearly missing it as it slid back.

" well, before she joined overwatch. She was a protester " said Reinhardt.

" oh you don't need to tell him this!" I Shouted.

" tell me!" Squeaked John with glee as he threw the pillow at my head.

I grabbed it and glared.

" what?! Tell me!" Whined John.

" I probably shouldn't " teased Reinhardt.

" not you really shouldn't " I said

" what's a protester?" Asked John.

" someone who is against something , usually an unjust cause. I rallied for anti-war peace movements" I said as I eyed Reinhardt making sure he wouldn't go too far into it.

While it never prevented me from being head of a hospital, mostly because I blended in, until overwatch did crowd scans. I never did anything too wild, but I was rather vocal.

" yes, then she joined overwatch!"

Reinhardt looked sentimental.

John rolled onto his stomach.

" tell me a story...please" Asked John in the sweetest tone.

The warm smile that washes over Reinhardt's face, his eyes drifted upwards for a moment.

" but what story to tell?... hmmmm"

" tell me about you!" Said John.

" but I've told zis story a hundred times to you" said Reinhardt in mocking disbelief.

John yawned and curled against me.

" a long long time ago, I had long flowing glorious hair!" Said Reinhardt as he flipped my ponytail.

" I lived by the code of—"

" justice, valor and courage" interrupted John.

" precisely!" Said Reinhardt as he continued. " I fought with Balderich Von Adler, my mentor... my comrade" I glanced up at the lost look in his eye.

He paused and sighed, before smiling at me and pointing at John.

John was sound asleep snuggled on my shoulder.

" just like his mother" Reinhardt warmly said.

I smirked at him, it wasn't a lie. Members of my medical team and various other overwatch agents would take photos of me falling asleep in the most ridiculous places, I couldn't help it when I worked to exhaustion.

" I don't think I will ever forgot you falling asleep inside my discarded armor" he chuckled. My cheeks flushed crimson at the memory.

" Ana thought it would be wonderful to get a comparison photo! And you couldn't even stay awake long enough for that"

" I was exhausted!"

" you should have let yourself rest more!" He scolded.

" shouldn't you take your own advice?" I said with a grin.

" never, my dear girl... you know I will never stop"

The tone of his voice broke my heart, he could never stay away for long.

" but you should get some rest, I doubt we will hear anything from them tonight, but I will watch over you!" He said with a wink.

" I'm fine my friend, I can stay awake with you" i stifled a yawn as I spoke.

He let out a soft chuckle, before drinking some coffee. The cups here only looked tinier in his large hands. The soft glow of the lights bouncing off his frame, His eye was misty as he stared off. John let out a small help in his sleep. My hands instinctively stroked his back as he lulled into a more peaceful sleep. I wonder what he is dreaming about, and how he managed to sleep without jack saying goodnight to him.

That's what I'm looking forward too, to him coming back and holding us, as our new adventure began.

" he's so much like Jack, the way he fights and behaves" Reinhardt mused.

" I know, he's like a little copy of him" I could feel my smile growing as I spoke.

" I know it's been said, but he does have your intelligence as well"

" thank you, but-"

" I don't want to hear it, all my years of knowing you... I don't idly throw around compliments ... he also has a bit of your stubbornness "

" my what?"

He chuckled and glanced over at the large door.

" you know precisely what I am talking about. Never backing down when you fought for your ethics. You can be quite intimidating for someone so small, especially when you were first enlisted" he paused taking a swig of his coffee. My interest was piqued, I know he loves me like family but rarely does he open up to me like this.

" you have a fire inside of you, fighting for what you believe in. You've made some foolish mistakes but you were the most intimidating to hire according to Jack and—- no matter. I'll never forget his prideful expression when he brought you back to us for the tour. Most didn't have in their translators so the amount of swearing coming from such a ' sweet little thing' could always make me laugh, and he always had you in his sights. You two were quiet the pair. " he grunted as he shifted in his chair. His joints ache more now but he wouldn't let me treat any of it. " I don't think two people had more of an influence over the public than both of you. His public speaking was always reassuring—- and with you by his side it was a magnificent thing... truly magnificent. " he trailed off for a moment. I want to tell him, but I think it needs to come from Jack. He would be so happy, I could hear the words forming in my head but... I just can't.

" now that you have had your story I would appreciate if you would try getting some rest" he scolded but his eyes shone with compassion.

I couldn't argue with him, our comms hadn't heard a sound in hours. Jack never messaged since leaving. The nagging anxiety stirring inside of me. However I should attempt some rest, even if I just close my eyes for a few minutes. A warm wrapping covered us, my eyes carefully sneaking a peak of Reinhardt draping us with blankets, the struggle of disguising his joint pain as he moved.

A loud bang caused my eyes to completely pop open. Reinhardt was staring intently at the ceiling. His eyes flicked to me and he motioned for silence. This isn't good, hands going numb as I tried to monitor my breathing. John began to stir in my arms, please don't wake up... please don't wake up.

" mama..." he said softly as his eyes fluttered open.

I made the quick motion of bringing a finger to my lips. His eyes widened in fear before I held him against my chest. Pops of bullets echoed above us.

Reinhardt shot a look at me, we have to hide, fight... run?

His large body stood up from his chair as he looked down at both of us, John was shaking... or was it me? Surely they would be here any moment.

I opened my phone, my hands shaking as I messaged Jack.

' help'.

But the message wouldn't send, I held out my phone to Reinhardt who Just sadly shook his head.

I need to protect John, we need to protect John.

Reinhardt races towards the door grabbing his hammer. He wasn't in his armor. We are unprepared, surely the monks can fight. Zenyatta assures our safety here. The world assures safety in places like these. It's why mondatta was... I blinked back tears. Right now focusing is top priority.

Foot steps descending in the distance, we don't have the ability to leave this room but...

glancing up at the ceiling again. I want to stay by John, but this would be safer.

I crouched down to his level and chewed hard on my lip for a moment.

Remain strong.

" John " I whispered.

" I need you to hide, and don't you come out unless you know the sounds of voices. No matter what. Don't come out until you know. "

" but I want to—"

" no, John. I need you to do this for me. Sometimes we have to hide. Can you please do this for me?" I pleaded softly. He nodded, his hair falling over one eye. Quickly brushing it out of the way as I kissed his forehead.

" you are going to be okay?" He Asked, my throat felt like it was closing.

" I'm going to be brave, and I need you to be very very brave for me okay?" I whispered as I picked him up. Reinhardt's gaze fell onto us for a moment.

" I love you " I whispered trying to remain stoic.

" I love you too" mumbled John as he gripped the beams and began climbing. I watched as his little figure disappeared from my sight. Sounds of a scuffle taking place outside the door, Reinhardt handed me a pistol.

" I need you to hide as well, I'll protect you" his hand touched my shoulder as he pushed me behind the statue.

" I want to fight with you" I hissed as I moved towards him.

" I am here to protect you" he responded as he gripped the hammer and braced himself against the door.

" we need to stand together"

" no, we need to protect you and your son , please. Do me this honor and hide" he whispered back to me.

I gently touched his shoulder before making my way back behind the statue. The dark panels of wood in the wall created a tight space to slide behind the stone. The door was shaking, as Reinhardt pressed his body weight against it. Desperately trying to hold it back. The cracking and splintering of wood shaking my core.

Please, please come back. We are supposed to be safe here.

I tried sending the message again and pressed the emergency signal which should get through no matter the situation.

Nothing.

But the sounds of gunfire as Reinhardt yelled, the slamming of his hammer against bodies.

So many horrified screams, but also some omnic voices.

I glanced through the tiny space, blood dripping down my friend's back. I should be out there.

" is zat all you have?! Come and face me?!" Roared Reinhardt.

Tiny sparks flickered off the carnage pile laying around him. Silence for a few brief moments before a roar of gunfire started again.

Bullets clinking against the various bells, a chorus of destruction rang out. Reinhardt's yelling as he fought, my eyes closing tightly trying not to scream as they painted the walls around me.

" where is she?!" Shouted out a mechanical voice.

" I do not know who ...you mean!" Shouted Reinhardt.

Stay here stay here. I glanced at my phone.

" I have no time for games old man" the familiar voice of sombra. Scheisse!

" check all the rooms" she ordered.

I tucked my body as much as I could. My chin resting on my knees as I shook. My little son was being brave somewhere, I need to stay safe for him.

I heard Reinhardt begin to fight again, I tried desperately to tune out the sounds of bullets piercing his flesh, his grunts of agony. He's my friend... I need to help him.

" is this all you have?" He Shouted as each word was a struggle.

" over here" said Sombra quietly.

I could hear footsteps getting closer and closer. Gripping the pistol I was given as I moved to a more comfortable position to jump up with.

" little one get over here" spat Reinhardt.

" who are you calling little?" Grunted Sombra.

But she was right in front of me " gotcha!" I tried to fire at her but she was quicker. Her hands ripped my arms behind my back as she dragged me out.

" alright pack it up " she said as she pushed me forward I began to struggle against her but it was useless.

I glanced down at Reinhardt. He was struggling to breath but the moment his eyes caught mine he lurched forward. Trying to free me. But instead landing on top of us.

His face pressed next to mine as Sombra struggled under us.

" run my... friend " He wheezed.

Blood was pooling onto me.

But his body was being pried up by talon agents. I tried again to bolt but Sombra kicked my back, smacking me against the floor and for a brief moment everything went black.

" come on, you are useless if dead little bird" Sombra spoke as her hand slapped my face.

Dead.

" and I can read vital signs too so don't try that shit" she added as I let my eyes open. Blood was everywhere.

" just let me—-" I tried to speak but tears were flowing as I looked at my fallen friend.

" well this is awkward" teased Sombra.

I jabbed her in the ribs.

"no me pruebes, perra" ( don't try me, bitch) she responded with a hiss.

" let's get moving" she ordered. I watched as a few kicked his body... body. He's my friend, and he's...

I couldn't.

Her grip on my arms tightened as she walked me through the hallways, now full of carnage. Wires poking out of bodies as they shocked and buzzed.

My son, please please don't have him.

I tried breaking free again, but she just pulled back tighter. A distant smell of smoke swirling with the temple incense. My signal hadn't gone out. I'm one against... dozens.

—

Jack's POV ( a/n: I AM SORRY)

" Ana! Do you have eyes on him?" I barked. Reyes had ghosted again disappearing into his cloud of purple smoke. No matter how many of them we defeated he was there, toying with us. Ana was going to be the one to inject him, the only one I trusted to truly get it done.

" dealing with our purple friend right now" she hissed into the comm.

a moment later I saw a bullet whiz by my head.

"Oy! We've got some flanking around, I'll try to clean em up with Jesse but no promises" chirped Lena.

I dashed behind some scrap pile and turned on the tactical visor.

Something isn't right here. The purple smoke swirled around me for a moment. Not from widow, from him.

" Ana!" I barked.

" ready!" She replied.

The sound of my blood pounding in my temples as the smoke cleared.

I pulled the syringe from my holster.

The skeletal mask looming above me.

I can just stab this anywhere there's an opening. But where the hell is an opening?

" fuck!" I hissed as a shot from his guns went into my vest. It didn't break through the armor but the shock and vibration mixed with heat pulsed through my chest.

" next time I won't miss" came the not so familiar voice of Gabe. The modifiers or hell, maybe it's just his voice now.

He threw down the weapon as he grabbed another, the red of his eyes flowed through the mask.

One hand on my pistol this time and one on the syringe.

The gun pointed at my exposed forehead but he stopped and let out a menacing laugh. I leaned and stabbed him, missing the slice of exposed arm. An attempt was made to inject as the device desperately tried too. Ana's bullet piercing the mask, but the glowing showed it didn't make contact with flesh. Fuck.

Lena blinked next to him firing a few rounds but Fareeha's percussion bombs scattered lifted us up and away from him, with that he disappeared. Dust swirled around the brick buildings. The lowering sun creating reduced visibility for some of the team. Digging my feet into the ground as I held my stance.

" fuuuck" I growled. We went away for this one purpose and he got away. Our devices failed at administering.

" they are clearing out down here" said Jesse.

" it appears they are heading back to their flyers" said Hanzo.

" to the ship" I ordered. It's easier for them to gun us down exposed like this. I failed, everything that could go wrong had. But the trail of bodies was hopeful, even though talon can always recruit more at least some of their numbers were down.

I made sure everyone boarded before I did.

" well it wasn't a complete failure" said Lena trying to be encouraging.

I nodded, and walked over her as she started up the ship.

I had no wisdom to impart on these exhausted looking friends of mine, I'm not jack Morrison anymore. I don't have to be. Mustering up encouragement after a tough mission isn't what I should be doing now.

I eased into the chair next to her, as she softly spoke to herself under her breath.

" we'll get him next time" Ana said as she patted my shoulder. My phone was silent, I'm hoping they are asleep. That way I don't need to explain my failure.

" how do we tell her that it doesn't work?" I asked.

" ah, we don't know that. Just our methods of administering it didn't work. Don't stress her out about it. We don't want to go through the same thing that happened with my rifle with her again." Teased Ana , she glanced back a few times while speaking of the old memories.

" it's fine, they are bound to find out sooner or later"I mumbled. Might as well label me a failure on both names.

A loud screeching alarm sounded. Winston bolted to my side as my heart began to pound.

We are still easily an hour out, whatever is causing this please let it be false.

" incoming video " read the script on the screens surrounding the cock pit.

" hola! So forgive us. We may have made a mess" said Sombra. Every muscle began to tense.

Lena let out a startled cry.

The video proceeded to show the hallways coated in blood.

" turn it off" Shouted Lena.

" anyways, I'd love to stay and chat. But I don't want too... " and with that the camera turned off, as the video repeated in a loop.

They can't be dead, they can't be.

Winston roared, while Hanzo and Genji stared at the video, Genji began swearing loudly.

" maybe they aren't dead..." whispered Fareeha.

" I'll reckon this is just another tactic" muttered Jesse. The sounds of him lighting up a cigar followed by the scent of tobacco.

I feel everything, I feel nothing.

I pulled open my phone and a message appeared from Angela.

'Help'

I shoved the phone at Ana, my body felt on fire. I didn't listen. I didn't listen.

" we have confirmation that Angela is alive" said Ana.

" no, she's disabled systems before. Whose to say that it's recent?" Said Winston.

" WE DON'T KNOW" I roared, ' try to say something else' but everything is slowing down. Lena was gripping the controls and gasping for air. Ana gently moved her from the seat and took over.

" secure yourselves. " she ordered. The jolt as she launched it faster sending some form of reality into me. My life, everything since I've known her. Is her. She's my life.

My son...

For the rest of the journey back I was hyperventilating . Silence was deafening. As the temple came into view smoke was swirling the area, the signs of a fire being put out.

Ana took us down the secret way. Smoke had settled as we raced through the halls. But the scattered remains of monks and talon agents littered the once sacred halls.

Then my eyes saw him. Laying in a heap on the floor as Zenyatta hovered nearby.

" he's lost most than I know how to deal with. We can send him to a hospital?" He said softly.

But he was so far gone, I removed my glove to touch his hand but it was ice. Stubborn, heroic... The only person who could help... I looked around and noticed little heel prints in blood.

The next thing I heard was Ana shrieking as she rushed to Reinhardt's side.

" where is Angela?" I asked clearing my throat.

" I haven't seen her or—" started Zenyatta but I was already up and running.

" have you found—" Lena started before noticing Reinhardt. Her eyes got wide before she burst into sobs and collapsed into a heap.

I can't console anyone right now. I need to know.

" has anyone seen her or John ?"I barked at the team as they came towards me.

Genji shook his head and the rest of the group noticed our fallen comrade. I threw down another biotech field but it wasn't working.

Ana was patting his face and hand as tears streamed down her face.

" I... " spoke the raspy voice.

" shhhh my love, it's fine. You just need to rest" she whispered.

" Yer not supposed to go before me! Get up ya hunk of muscle" choked out Torbjorn.

My friend, my comrade... seeing him like this.

I began to feel my blood pounding through my body. Everything was fuzzy, no sign of Angela besides her footprints. But none of Johns.

Lena's wailing making this worse so much worse. Tears stinging in my eyes as I walked around him and into the large room. Bullets riddled the entire area. The bloody prints only started at Reinhardt...

" do you need help?" Asked Genji walking next to me.

I Grunted at him in a form of agreement.

I looked up at the ceiling before moving back out of the room and towards ours.

The doors all shattered, the wooden frames destroyed. But nothing looked touched, I should be comforting the team but we still have two missing. We can't just fall back now.

Genji's soft footsteps moving next to mine as I exited our room and went back to following the trail of blood. Which only led up the stairs then stopped by a puddle of blood and a human monk corpse.

Genji swore under his breath as he knelt down to check the body, his head is half gone, this is all pointless. I kicked a dead talon agent, or so I thought. A breath rasped out.

Kneeling down I found the words " where the hell is she?"

The young soldiers eyes went in and out of focus.

" take—-"

" where?"

But then a raspy deathlike laugh exited their mouth as they smiled.

Taking the butt of my rifle I smashed it against his skull. The sickening but relieving thud as the bones cracked and blood oozed.

Again and again these fucking monsters took my angel...and again I smashed his head into a pulp before kicking the body away.

" was that—"started Genji but I turned to him and pinned him against the wall. Rage rushing through me , he can't see the look of fury on my face.

I lift his body off the ground and smack him once against the wall and let him regain his footing.

" sorry" I mumbled after a moment of realization.

Genji Just stood still facing me. Both of our masks hiding our true expressions, but I could hear his breathing turn into a sort of pneumatic hissing. His shoulders flung back as he lunged at me. Gripping my shoulder in one hand his other hand retracted and held back.

" some of us know how to handle our emotions" he chided before walking off.

" have you found her?" Asked Lena as we returned to the group.

Some remaining monks were moving Reinhardt to another area. The dried blood staining the floor and just more pouring out as he was moved.

" no sign of her besides a few foot prints" Said Genji.

" what do we do?!" She gasped.

" find her obviously" sneered Hanzo. I clenched my fists for a moment before having another outburst.

"Well no shit!" Said Jesse with a growl.

" how do you want to go about this?" Asked Winston to no one in particular.

Another little puddle of blood was forming around me from the butt of my pulse rifle. I just bashed someone's face in... i exhaled sharply. I just destroyed someone brutally... you aren't strike commander. You don't have to follow orders or instructions. Breathe. The love of your life is missing...

" Should we keep checking Maybe we missed something? Maybe they are hiding somewhere?" Whispered Lena. Jesse was holding her against his chest, smoke clouding around them from his cigar.

Breathe.

" ANGELA!" Lena shouted as she pulled herself away from him.

" keep it down" Said Jesse.

" why does that matter anymore? All these people know we were hiding here! So why SHOULD IT MATTER!?" She shrieked, her mouth twisted in concern.

" because like it or not it's still important to remain—-" I started.

" oh yeah?! Mr. Secretive?! She's my best friend! She hardly knows you and we don't even know who you are so why don't you just shove it!" She yelled.

The hurt and anger that encased her words stung me. All this damn secrecy, putting her through all this, John through all of this... my hand slammed into a wall.

" I don't know what the hell she saw in you! You aren't at all what she—" started Lena but her words muffled as Jesse tried to quiet her but my hands ripped off my mask throwing it across the hallway as it clattered.

" son of a Bitch " Said Jesse.

What the fuck did I just do!? What the fuck what the fuck.

What if they left cameras. What if, what —-

 **A/N: Ending the chapter there because i have a lot to get into on the next one, this one is a bit of a mess. My over-editing and own personal issues coming into this a lot, so yeaaaaah. Any feedback would be appreciated! Shoutout to the mysterious guest, and to the wonderful and encouraging L0rdoftheM3mes**


	57. Chapter 57

_**(A/N: just repeating a few sentences from the last chapter)**_

" oh yeah?! Mr. Secretive?! She's my best friend! She hardly knows you and we don't even know who you are so why don't you just shove it!" She yelled.

The hurt and anger that encased her words stung me. All this damn secrecy, putting her through all this, John through all of this... my hand slammed into a wall.

" I don't know what the hell she saw in you! You aren't at all what she—" started Lena but her words muffled as Jesse tried to quiet her but my hands ripped off my mask throwing it across the hallway as it clattered.

" son of a Bitch " Said Jesse.

What the fuck did I just do!? What the fuck what the fuck. What if they left cameras. What if, what —- A hand connected with my jaw as I saw Lena angrily staring at me with tears in her eyes. Her fists pummeled my stomach for a moment before her arms tightened around me.

" yer a real bastard" she muttered into my abdomen.  
If I wasn't currently feeling like my body was falling apart this would have been good. But it's not.

" we need to locate them now. " I said sternly.

Genji Just took off with Hanzo, and in the distance I heard Torbjorn cursing. And the sound of his footsteps as he also lunged at me.

" all this time and yeh didn't think teh trust us?!" He growled.

" not the time for this" scolded Ana.

Torbjorn let go and stomped off. Winston was just staring blankly, I knew he figured it out earlier but maybe as an attempt at self preservation.

A soft cry sounded from above us. What the—- Fareeha adjusted her suit and flew up towards the beams. At first her face was full of concern and then relief as she pulled down John.

" daddy" he cried out as he wiggled free. His face was streaked with tears and he was shaking. I knelt down as he collapsed into my arms, shaking uncontrollably. A ringing began in my head, closing my eyes to stop the room from moving.

" Mommy" he gasped. My veins went cold.

" what happened John?" Asked Ana softly.

" I don't—- she was —-" he started wailing. They wouldn't have killed her... they wanted her.

" did she leave?" Ana Asked carefully. I could feel her hand touch my back.

" yes" John Squeaked as little sobs shook him again. I could hear mumbling of the others but nothing coherent.

" Thank you" Ana answered after a moment. She stroked John's hair, and cleared her throat a few times.

She's gone, she's gone. She begged me not to go, she knew. Blinded again by the same person, revenge overpowered again. I chose revenge over her over our son. My hands shaking as I held John closer, the closest thing I have to my Angela. Our son... who she protected. Who she trusted me to meet and get involved. God dammit I'm an idiot. This is why you aren't a leader anymore, you make stupid decisions. You lead people to their deaths, you destroyed Angela. Now who knows what will happen to her? Happen to Reinhardt... fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.

" not to be a wet blanket but, wadda y'all suppose we do now?" Asked Jesse loudly. If I wasn't holding John I would have punched him. But in all rights he should punch me. I deserve it, I would beat myself to a pulp.

"I'll review the aerial footage... " voiced Winston. The large padding of his steps as he went to leave. But he paused.

" it's uh. It's good to have you back Jack" he said softly.

My hands balled up behind John. It's a nice sentiment but I don't deserve it. I don't deserve my son to hold me for comfort, I never deserved Angela. I got her into everything, i wish I never recruited her. God. I've destroyed her.

" I'll uh. Help him" said Lena as she left. Soon everyone left except Ana. I could feel her kneeling down and holding both of us tightly. John's body went slightly limp , probably from exhaustion. At least I can recognize that.

" he's asleep, probably from the shock, Jack. I know what you are thinking and you need to calm down. " Ana spoke with determination, each word coaxing a different reaction. Annoyance was riding high.

" you expect me to remain calm?" The words came out through my clenched teeth.

The ringing in my ears amplified by the muscles tensing in my jaw. I failed, I failed again. And again and again. I hid from her for years following her in the shadows. Watching her suffer... I'm just like him. I'm just like him. The stillness of the room, the blood splatter and in the rubble I saw her. Standing perfectly still and staring directly at me. Not saying a word.  
" ange...?" I whispered.  
" Jack—- what ?" Said Ana her voice fading. Angela tilted her head to the right blankly.

" Jack!" The ringing growing louder. A hand smacked across my cheek and she was gone again. Vanished.

" you cannot do this, not again" Ana said in a hushed tone as she pried John from my arms.

" let's get him to bed for right now" she sounded exhausted as she cradled my son.

" not in that room" I choked out.

" it's familiar to him, he could go in mine but I think he would be too worried not to be near you" Said Ana.

I let out an agitated sigh.

" we have to go after them " I replied.

" yes, but for right now we need to figure out what and where, and your son needs you" she sounded annoyed or exhausted probably both.

But every second we do nothing is another second that she is gone. Ana carried John out of the room and I reluctantly followed. The door was slightly ajar and seemingly undisturbed. I tried gulping back the lump forming in my throat as I saw her things strewn about in typical Angela fashion. Ana eased John down onto his bed and I just blankly stared at ours. I could practically picture her laying there, hair tangled in her hands. Legs strewn everywhere, that beautiful smile she has in the morning. My throat was aching, jaw clenched.

Ana sat carefully in the corner chair, I took Angela's; her notebooks tucked neatly under them for once.

" if Winston doesn't find any footage we may have to alert the UN. She was already wanted for more questioning, and if known terrorist agency has her its their business as well... now it's important that the right people report so probably Lena would be the best bet, but then we lose her for a bit and our numbers are already low—"

The UN... the people who disbanded us, the whole reason we are in this mess. Wait. No. That would be him, my fists clenched and Ana's words fading from my ears. Her hand squeezed my shoulder jarring me back to reality.

" how much did you hear?"

" UN and getting Lena involved" I replied. Ana sighed and leaned back in her chair before rubbing her temples.

" I know this isn't easy for-"

" no shit" i interjected and she gave me one of her stares.

" we all love her. We all want what is best for her and definitely not becoming some brainwashed talon doctor" Fuck. What if they...

" shush I thought of that already, she made the antidote for Amélie, so don't let that worry you too much"

" don't let that worry me?! Do you know what kind of damage that could do to her?! "

" well it's better than her being—"

" Ana. Shut up" I growled.

" I'm trying to help, you are being stubborn. You are stressed but you need to put your emotions aside and focus on what I am saying "

" Ana I can barely focus. I want her back now and the only thing stopping me is my son"

" good, try to remain aware of him and of what needs to be done, I'm certain something will be revealed soon. It's talon, they have what they have wanted, so they are going to get reckless. Always have and always will, we've studied them for years, hell decades. We know how sloppy they can openly followed Angela and never took notice of us" I glanced over at her and a mild relief for a moment, before the grief kicked in again.

" I know" she said with a nod. " but for now take a few to clear your head. I'll send Fareeha in later to watch him, try not to dwell. But I need to check on— " and her voice cracked as her shoulders shook for a moment. I cannot process that now, I gently patted her shoulder.

" thank you" She Whispered as she began to stand, her usual face of strength was clouded by her fears.

I caused this entire failure, we debated leaving them behind I was foolishly convinced they would be safe. I ran my hands through my hair a few times trying to calm down and figure all this shit out. I glanced over at John who was wriggling around in his sleep. Just breathe and focus, Angela will be fine.

Fuck she fucking won't.  
Fuck.  
I jumped up and just hardly stopped myself from kicking the chair. Fuck. I'm stuck in here with John. I cannot lose myself right now. The adrenaline pounding through me, the shaking won't stop. All these attempts at focusing on remaining calm just increasing my heart rate. I need her. I need her. I sunk down onto our bed, My hands shaking, vision was blurry as I hit the pillow. But her scent only brought tears and gasping for air.

I monumentally fucked up. Possibly the biggest fuck up of my life, at least leaving her before I made sure she was safe. Her silent guardian, this time I let her go, despite her pleas.

The pain overwhelmed my chest as I gasped for air. What if we try each of their known bases? What if— no. What if. What if is the repeating track taking over each thought. No complete process. For fucks sake, I handled this shit for years, for fucking years. Brought peace to so many different places, thanks to Angela. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. If they harm her in any way—- if they destroy her mind in—- I can't handle this, I cannot handle this.

How do you handle something when your mind won't let you function? That's the difference, I'm broken now. I'm a shell of who I once was, was I even Jack Morrison ?

How did I function before? Why can't I be him again? Instead of someone so incompetent. Someone who would have been dishonorably discharged. Someone who would have been committed to some hospital to be forgotten where sad eyed nurses would offer " remember who you were? " and Angela would have left. Instead I left her. All I've done is fuck up again and again and again and again. I could see it on their faces when the mask finally peeled off.

Now they all know, no longer can their somewhat fond memories just be memories. Now clouded with the shadow of this monster that I've become. I should have staid dead and buried. Instead I crawled out trying to complete my mission. Which I've only given more power too. The scent of her on the pillow was just adding to the pain. If I roll over I can picture her laying there, the soft smile and tangle of hair. God I love when she wears it down, the way it frames her face, the annoyed way she pushes the stray hairs.

Fuck. I should have laid with her longer this morning, I shouldn't have left.

I need to make this right. John will be fine for a few minutes... pulling my face away from her pillow I began to rethink my plans. I could walk up to the UN, prove my existence and convince them to help us... but I'm dead. Technically anyways. This would blow everything and make the situation far worse, but it could save her, but make things complicated if we could get her back. What the fuck am I thinking?! That would never work. This would take more time than necessary, that would open us all up for attack, conspiracy... and imprisonment. Come on, come on. What shreds of Jack do you have left? Can I even muster up the strength to appear strong?

Is there a way to convince people I'm trustworthy again? Fuck I need Angela.

 **Flashback**

" I think it's perfect" she whispered as she moved around on the bed.  
I turned to her, papers wrinkled in my hands, the many hours of frantic writing escalating into frenzied lovemaking, cuddling...her drifting to sleep and the massive speech re-write... which i woke her up to listen too.

My mouth pulled into a frown before I looked at that sweet tired smile she had on her face.

" I just need people to realize that we aren't backing down from talon, but will handle it as peacefully as possible"

" and you did" she cooed as she extended her hands out to me. She is always the best audience I can ask for. Just seeing her standing nearby, or picturing her in the sea of faces or cameras helps. I poked her extended hand for a moment before returning to pacing.

" you sure?" I asked.  
" of course, it shows strength, confidence" she flailed her arms dramatically for a moment before continuing " and the desire to maintain peace in troubled times" a yawn escaped her as she smiled.

" are you sure it shows confidence?"

"you woke me up to read it didn't you?" she said with a sly smile. Fuck, alright she has me there.

" of course, and enough peacefulness to appease me. " her fingers twisted a strand of her hair.

" you do understand how evil they can be?" I mumbled, I try to remain peaceful but this threat, what they did to Gérard... I don't feel peaceful.

" some people cannot control their circumstances" she argued as she sat up a bit straighter.

I ran my hands through my hair in frustration. We both had to report and view his body that night, she had to do the autopsy which usually wasn't in her job description. After she gave her report; downed a bottle of wine and laid in bed for hours quietly. Security was increased but we still managed to find a way to sleep together. I hate to think what would have happened if we hadn't. Her eyes were glassy and distant as she stumbled around mumbling to herself. Her hands would occasionally claw at herself, or delve into some pretty deep depression for a tiny person she was hard to stop. The entire time she kept trying to find reason in the execution.

Finding out it was Amélie made it worse. Focusing on her helped me not focus on the death of a friend. Retrieving Amélie would be a calculated mission that we couldn't pull off right away, if at all. She had changed completely. Mind control of some sort, which bothered Angela to her core. Even on the nightstand was a book detailing torture methods and neurological effects of mind control. She rarely put it down behind closed doors, her own erratic behavior only known to me.

Waking her was probably a mistake, especially to discuss the speech that went over matters. But I don't smell alcohol on her, for the first time in days. She carries too much guilt and blame, especially after giving Amélie a physical after her kidnapping, there's no reason for her to feel guilty but she does. She still has this unwavering belief that people aren't truly evil. Looking over at her sad but tired expression, but her willingness to help me and all people.

" I'm sorry Angel"

" for what?" She answered while leaning against the pillows. I placed the papers on the table as I walked over to her, carefully crawling on top of her and trying to avoid her hidden limbs under the plush comforter. Pressing my lips to her forehead while she let out a soft hum of pleasure.

" for bringing up all of this"

" hush, it's no bother" her lips grazed my jaw.

" I woke you up" I sighed.

" I was hardly asleep "

" mmm you were drooling" I Teased.

Her fingers pressed against my chest. " take that back" she hissed.

" it was very becoming " Her hands covered her face as she laughed.

"it's cute" I cooed.

" you are cruel " she said with a groan as she rolled onto her side, her arms reaching back to push me away. My hand lightly gripped hers in protest.

" i am not!" I laughed.

" hmmm. Remember that next time you wake me" as she pulled the covers over her head.

I threw my arm over her and ran the words over and over in my head.

" it was wonderful darling, please get some sleep " she whispered as she curved against my body.

I smiled, the world is turning upside down when Angela tells me to get sleep instead of me telling her. I kissed her shoulder before tucking her head under my chin. The perfect balance, she evens me out, constantly reminding me of everything good, despite everything horrible.

" too tight" she murmured as she wiggled. I loosened my grip around her as she softly giggled. Her fingers delicately traced over my arms, the soft warm skin welcoming me as she tilted her head back to kiss my chin. The way she sets me on fire with the smallest touch, I ran my hands down her warm abdomen and a soft startled moan escaped her. Oh no no. I cannot possibly make her do this again.

" angel" I whispered. She flipped around and laid her head on my chest. I clasped my hands around her body, holding her securely against me. Her preferred sleeping position. There's this part of her that craves security, and I try to give it to her, despite how uncertain the universe is. She does so much and asks for so little in return, her tireless work on and off the field.

Watching her sleep in an actual bed is a miracle most days. Her eyelashes fluttering on my chest, and her body starts heating up... so much pain and guilt in someone so intelligent. Someone who knows the medical field inside and out, but she is trapped in her own doubt and loathing when it comes to her. A little whimper in her sleep signaling the nightmares are back, I kissed the top of her head a few times. The noise and motion usually kicked her out of it. The small nuzzle of her head on my chest confirming that it was over as her leg draped over me.

A few hours later she was waking me up and gripping the book firmly in her free hand.

" wha—"

" if I'm ever kidnapped-"

" oh angel it's, you've had interrogation training, you know how to withstand—"

" no, hush. If that ever happens and I'm put under neurological changes, we need a code or something"

" if you are under how would you remember the code?"

" exactly! You will know, because I won't" I felt my brows knit together, first. I never want to to think about that happening. Second, she needs to calm down.

" you think I'm crazy?" She hissed.

" no, babe... I think it'll work. What's the phrase?" Her eyes widened for a moment.

" I'm not creative like that..." she replied.

" ah—- I suppose you need my help?" She nodded solemnly. I motioned for her to come closer, after a moment of hesitation she did. Her hair tickled my neck, I could feel the pounding of her heart.

" it would have to fit into a normal sentence, but not be too normal right?" I stalled, as her head nodded against me.

" okay, hmmm what about Valhalla?"

" Jack?"

" hmm?"

" no, be serious " she asked.

" I was! You know Vikings and Valhalla..." I tried to reason. " it's never brought up in a normal conversation, until Valhalla or something"

"Have you been watching ah... crazy max... ah. " she paused and made the most hysterical noises that sounded like cars.

" yes Angela. I've been watching crazy max" I Teased. She grunted as she drummed her fingers on my chest.

" til Valhalla..." came her reply.

 **(A/N: i love all of you so much! thank you to the anon reviewer! i hope this update was fast enough! i did my signature over-edit. Then when i uploaded it, it didn't properly format, AGAIN! which i need to look into why it's been doing that, but this hopefully is properly spaced instead of a text wall. It was seriously a textwall... I tried! I hope this properly shows some backstory of how erratic Angela can be, and how unstable Jack can be as well, despite his usual strong demeanor. Anyways, Thank you all for reading! i hope this is okay, also my little shoutout to l0rdofthememes because their kindness is so appreciated.** **If any of you hate where this is going just let me know, maybe hate is a strong word, eh. I just i hope it's okay!)**


	58. Chapter 58

"The bed still remained as empty as ever. No Angela curled on me, or fidgeting with her hair while furiously writing with the other hand. I did this to her, she's gone because of me, is all I can think about. A choked cry left my mouth waking John. God I look so weak right now, he of all people doesn't need to see this.

Calm down, be strong. His little body flung himself onto the bed with me.

" hey" was all I could muster out.

" did I do something wrong?" He asked, his skin was pale and when I touched his back he felt cold.

" you did nothing wrong " I answered, feeling my strength returning. I can be weak behind closed doors, but when someone needs me, I can feign strength.

"I'm sorry" he cried. I held him against my chest as he sobbed.

" John, you did the right thing. You are safe and that's what she wanted" I soothed. His balled up fists gripped my jacket, his sobs turned into sniffles.

" are they bad people?" He asked.

" they've done some bad things before. But not everyone is bad" I almost smirked. An Angela response if I've ever heard one.

" what, what do they want with Mom?"

" well... she's very smart, and has some important medical processes—- uh. Designs that people want "  
Not a bad answer but not a good one. He rested his head on my shoulder, his panicked breathing seemed more relaxed.

Then in a tiny voice he asked " she's not going where Meera went?"

My jaw locked into place, I rubbed his back and tried to focus on how to respond. Jack would know... not 76. I can't be a single parent. But I also cannot lie to him.

" we are going to get her" I replied, my voice wavered. I don't know how, I cannot see clearly right now and Ana knows that. Hell, my own kid might know that... I cannot fail everyone again. I could feel his body going limp against mine, thankfully. All this stress isn't good for a kid, how the hell did Angela handle this as a child? Come to think of it, I don't think she did. I think she focused so hard on education and being anywhere else emotionally. That's how she always handled things... that's something we have in common. Working ourselves til we don't have to think.

All these years incognito has given me too much time to over-process everything. Sure, I could do speeches and lead teams into battle and all that was strategic. But I could always find moments to steal her away, for our own happy distractions despite the insanity of everything. Now I'm overthinking her childhood, she would hate me for focusing on that. Just picturing her little face scrunched up as she would swear under her breath and wave her arms about telling me to focus on something else.

Something else, saving her from her nightmare that is probably unfolding before her. Reyes knows too much about her trauma. He could use that against her in unspeakable ways. John's little snores pulling me out of that horrid train of thought. We will bring her back... a soft knock on the battered door almost woke up John. I gently placed him in a more comfortable position on the bed and walked towards the door. Lena was standing there as I cracked it open. Her eyes watery despite her effort to avoid mine. I softly closed the door behind me as I joined her in the hallway.

" there's er—. A lot I want to say to ya... but right now, she's priority" She started and began fading in and out of place, a nervous habit she would display from time to time. I know Winston keeps her chrono-accelerator in shape, this is her own doing.

" we got the footage and..." she paused again and stamped her foot down as she cleared her throat numerous times.

" and?" I replied trying to keep an even tone. Lena has every right to hate me right now.

" she was dragged by Sombra, put into a ship and take off into the north. We've taken some footage from other cameras in the area. They still aren't very smart at hiding " Said Fareeha. I didn't even notice her leaning against the wall. Fuck you are getting sloppy jack.

" anyways, I'm here to watch the little one, Winston has more information for you to go over" Said Fareeha. I nodded and glanced over at Lena who was still fading in and out, my heavy footsteps as I walked down the hall, bloodstains being wiped by a few remaining monks, how many had died at the hands of this? The door was cracked open and I could see Winston and Torbjörn arguing.

" ah, come in" Said Winston cautiously. I grunted in agreement and entered, looking at the screens surrounding him, he surely wasted no time. The old details of where we struck earlier mixed with the other locations of attack we had planned previously. Lena followed close behind, still phasing.

"Lena, you need to calm down! Don't overstress the technology" chided Winston.

"Sorry" she mumbled as she attempted to stabilize.

I studied the maps carefully, each one a possibility.

" anymore information from the last known location? Or still waiting on more data?" I asked. Silence. I turned and looked at Winston and he shook his head for a moment before turning back to his research.

" the problem is, Sombra did a number on the system. But..." he paused for a bit and looked frustrated.

" but?" I asked.

" she's highly intelligent and has done horrible damage to our equipment before, this just seems... intentionally sloppy. Like a loophole was left"

My heart skipped a beat. " wait... so you are saying that she may not be full talon?"

" it's possible, and it's looking that way. I should be able to get a better trace on where they went soon"

Soon isn't good enough... I felt my frown stretching across my face. I don't want to display how upset I am right now. Not when everyone is trying with barely 5% of what we used to have. I stamped my boot on the ground for a moment.

" does she know what she is doing ? Messing with talon at this level?" I asked, why am I concerned about this woman?

" she seems cheeky" Said Lena. " which can get her into a lot of trouble " she added.

" friend or foe, she still helped get Angela into a terrible situation" I reminded myself audibly.

" true, but she might be planning something bigger? " questioned Winston.

" all I know is we need to get her back" muttered Torbjorn.

" agreed" Said Winston.

" this is already too much speculation. It's a nice thought, but she's help take us down many times, hoping for a one in a million chance that she's not fully involved isn't the focus now " I added feeling a bit more like myself.

" mind if I ask somethin'?... can we stay here? Is it safe?" Asked Lena.

" considering they didn't burn this place to the ground is remarkable, but it's probably not our best option" I said surprising myself.

Torbjorn let out a frustrated guffawing noise.

While Winston fiddled with his glasses and said " we are running out of locations to move too, and with John it makes it exceedingly harder"

I don't want to leave my son anywhere, but obviously a rescue mission can not be completed with a child joining.

" I already offered my house for the little one" grumbled Torbjorn.

" we wouldn't want to put your family in any danger" I remarked.

" peh... you've met Ingrid, sturdier than a horse and more stubborn than a mule. She can handle herself and the youngins... one more's not gonna hurt her or Brigitte! " sighed Torbjorn. Brigitte had always shown promise, between Ingrid and Brigitte, they can be a strong force to reckon with.

" but she's quite out of the way from any strike zone... which means more time lost" I said pointing to the map.

" look, do yeh want yer son safe or not?, it's not like we're gonna be ready to attack in the next 24, so why not get a head start?" He argued.

I'm torn, I want John safe, I want Angela safe... but she would kill me if anything happened to John. Fuck. I'd kill me if anything happened to John. But so much wasted time...

" our other problem is moving Reinhardt..." started Winston.

" what? And yeh don't think our orca hasn't seen patients in worse conditions being transported? Ingrid'll look after him too... much better than a group of metal men" grunted Torbjorn.

I rubbed my face for a moment, trying to clear my head. No option is a good option and this is seemingly our only one.

" but what if this is what they wanted?" I asked.

" what? Takin' the crew to my house? Peeeh!" He was now livid, his cheeks reddened as he looked up at me. He slammed his fist on the table while glaring.

"I think even with our connection and knowing how Reyes is... the Lindholm House is more than well prepared, and Brigitte will take care of our friends as well" Winston stated as he tried to remain calm.

I'm not their commander anymore, despite my worries, and even though it's my son and Angela on the line... so is everyone else. I should be grateful at this option instead of being overly cautious.

" fine" I replied.

" time to gather things and get a move on?" Asked Lena softly.

" yes, I believe that would be ideal" Said Winston.

Genji has remained silent this entire time, but as the group filed out. He pulled me aside.

" this was all my fault I believe...I thought it would be safe here" his voice was barely above a whisper.

" we all made the decision. Angela made it too, so don't blame yourself" I replied.

" yes but—" " you of all people know how to deal with guilt" I retorted. That was probably unfair of me, however his usual holier than thou attitude had always bothered me. I just could never start anything being commander. Now that I'm just myself I can be a bit petty, who the fuck am I fooling ?

" I am a changed man. She saw it, why can't you" he replied, his mask covering him... I already miss people guessing my expressions. I'll need to wear that again once we leave here. It's better that way, much better. I want to reply that her ability to forgive is second nature. That if she doesn't forgive someone it eats away at her and she takes it out on herself. But he should know this, her years of living with him on and off... when I wasn't there for her. I grunted, my teeth grinding and pounding in my skull.

" sorry" I managed to hiss. I heard his foot tap for a moment before he entered his room. No response is better right now.

I should not have returned, everything is a mess, I made it worse... I could have ignored the call, Angela could have moved on... John would be alive and with Meera. I would have attempted cutting down more talon members by myself. Once it was all over and if I had lived I would have found her, she would be happier. Probably have moved on... my fists clenched.

' moved on?' I could hear her whisper in my head. Fucking hell. I could picture her laying on the bed before our first base since the recall was deemed unsafe.

She was just feeding into your ego. That beautiful smile on her face, just before she nodded off into sleep. ' you are my love and my life' she cooed as she dragged a finger down my abdomen. I would give anything to just hold her right now.

Right now... she's probably being tortured. Either mentally or physically, probably both. Reyes knows every single thing that can cause her to break, he tried to break her again and again and it slowly worked. He was so good at that, finding everyone's weakness. My hand lingered on the door, another packing up of a location. Constant running and moving, this isn't healthy for John, or anyone for that matter.

I pushed open the door, Fareeha was leaning back in the chair staring at the ceiling, her feet propped against the table, the back of the chair resting against the wall.

" I know the sound of your footsteps, don't worry" she sighed as she landed the front chair legs on the ground. The sound echoing in the room, my brows furrowed as I motioned towards John.

" he's exhausted, Nothing to worry about. Typical John behavior. " she replied.

" sometimes you are exactly like—" I started. She jumped up and interrupted.

" I'm nothing like my mother" she groaned in annoyance.

" whatever you say" I responded with my hands up in protest.

" I'm guessing we are leaving?"

" yep"

" alright... I'll be around " she said as she walked out of the room, she paused before closing the door behind her.

I should remember where we stored the bags, but Angela moves things around constantly. I checked the small closet to no avail. Too simple, she wouldn't put them there... John mumbled in his sleep, of course. I got down on my knees and shined a light under the heavy wooden frame. Three large duffles greeted me. The amount of shaking in my hand was annoying. I'll have to get Ana to inject me later. I'm thankful that while Angela is a messy individual the stress of constantly packing and going keeps everything in remotely the same place. I hate packing this without her, without knowing when she will be returning. Her notebooks tucked neatly under the chair as I placed them in with her clothes. I felt the leather on my hands... a lump formed in my throat. I'm surprised she brought it along. I pulled it towards the surface. Pushing all the other clothes away as that oversized leather jacket came into full view. The gnarled patches and areas of neat little stitches. Her dad's coat means so much to her, the slight scent of cigarettes, vanilla and sugar only making this moment worse. I stuffed it back in along with the rest of her items.

I'll pack her pillow once John wakes up, normally we don't travel with pillows but... I think it will help him. I quickly packed up my modest amount of gear and John's things. I'd glance over at him occasionally but he wasn't budging. I'm impressed that packing up the three of us took under twenty minutes. I used to dread moving because I hate seeing that look on her face, all I want is to see her face.

John rolled over with the pillow, I went over to him and rubbed his back gently.

" John, you need to get up now..." I said softly. Still out cold. I strapped the bags to my shoulders and carefully lifted him up with the pillow. I nudged the door open with my foot, it was easy with the damage done. I wonder if they noticed the items relating to a child? Or if they bothered wasting time. When I placed John inside the orca and he still didn't move or open his eyes much I began to worry.

" do you know where Ana is?" I asked Fareeha as she eased a large bag off her shoulders.

" yeah, what's up?" She responded nonchalantly

" it's probably nothing but John's unusually tired " I said.

" oh, yeah ... she told me to give him some medicine"

" SHE WHAT?" I growled. Her hands flew up defensively.  
" he's in shock and it's better to rest, adding more to—-"

" I don't fucking give a shit. She should have talked to me about it"

" she's a little overwhelmed right now" Said Fareeha with a frown.

My anger leveled a bit, I know I shouldn't be so upset. And I do need to remember that— I'm not going to think about Reinhardt right now. I don't have the energy. There's only so much I can handle and I don't want to overload my mind.

" did she do this often? Because earlier you said typical John behavior "

" yes, this is his usual behavior. For us, he's had to take this multiple times when Meera would move location with me and him. It was easier" she casually shrugged and began counting off some supplies. How did Angela not know?! What. I grunted and asked if she would be in here for a bit, so I could trust John would be watched while I helped the others.

Luckily everything was shoveled in quickly. Except for Genji, who was impossible to find. Lena took charge and began her search for him. While we carefully transported Reinhardt onto the orca. His skin was completely pale, each dressing change would bleed out. Ana began a simple transfusion, thanks to Angela's easy set up. Her hands moved more clumsily than Angela's, the wound patching wasn't holding as tightly as it could, but with internal bleeding it wouldn't do much good. But she just kept trying all the easier fixes, including her own alchemy. He needs a hospital... Jesse just stared blankly at the situation unfolding, finally Lena and Genji joined the rest of us. Not much needed to be said as I secured my mask and walked to the cockpit with Lena. I should have apologized to Zenyatta and the remaining monks, but I don't have the correct words yet.

Once again flying off into the complete darkness. I glanced back a few times, John fully asleep curled against Fareeha. The guilt of not having Angela there, and it's still all my fault. I made the final call, and —-

" oy, you alright there?" Asked Lena softly. She hadn't spoken to me since take off.

I grunted and responded " trying to remain level, and you?" I didn't mean to keep the coldness of 76 intact, but I'd become so accustomed to it.

" no" she barely whispered. I nodded, and patted her shoulder. I could see her eyes blinking away a tear. Luckily we can tune out the sounds behind us up here. No need to focus on anything else but taking the proper flight path, undetected.

" I'm sorry" I admitted. " I understand, I'm just a bit. It's just a lot to handle. Ya know?"  
" yes"  
" I mean, first with ange, and the monks then you and Reinhardt and —- " she gulped. I know she still has so much guilt related to Mondatta. " we are going to bring her back" she whispered.

" of course we are" my reply was knee jerked. My hands trembling for a moment as I inhaled sharply. I need to clear my mind and focus solely on arriving safely, and not being followed in any way.

" if Sombra is helping..." she started. But then stopped abruptly. I want to believe there is good in the hacker. She's taken down governments before, she's cruel and calculated. Why talon? What could be her purpose ?

" you don't think they are hurtin her?" She Squeaked.

The pounding in my chest echoed throughout my limbs in a constant erratic tremble. " sorry, I'll try ta keep it down, it's just really out there to be talking to you again" she prattled on. Yeah yeah...

" I missed you, and I'm right pissed off bout you doing all that to Angie—- but I'm happy you are alive ... but I'm still mad!" She grumbled.

I smirked, this all feels so natural. Lena badgering me, flying side by side. Or anxiously pacing in my office while her and Angela would be off on some mission.

" this isn't the best time but I don't wanna lose it... but ehhhmmm. Genji found this near the door and well—" She sighed with a half choking back of emotion. I glanced over as she held out the ring in her palm. My hand snatched it from her before she could respond I slid it into my pocket.

" I'm certain it was just so it wouldn't get lost or somethin" said Lena.

" I wasn't thinking anything like that" I grunted... but now I am. But Angela isn't trivial like that...

" I'm thinkin' she probably didn't want anyone to suspect anything..." Lena said quietly.

" yep" I answered while clearing my throat. I glanced back, still expecting to see her sitting there with John tucked against her, or talking with Jesse while John was with the others.

" we've got a call coming in" Said Winston. Lena made quick work of the controls to allow the call to cut through the channels. Not the safest of plans but I presume Winston still would be paranoid of anything.

Please be some sort of good news...

" hey! Can anyone hear me?" I almost Smashed the controls. Lucio.

" we hear you, loud and clear" Said Winston. I could feel Lena eyeing me suspiciously. Our already small numbers drastically decreased when those two left. I know it was better considering the circumstances. Now I'm trying to put my own blame on others, classy move Jack. Not only did you get Angela abducted, you are now blaming innocent people.

" where do you want us? And is there anything we can do?" He asked.

" I messaged him" mumbled Lena. " this is sensitive information you just shared over a phone..." I started.

" I know. I just—" her face scrunched up. Not the time, the damage has been done.

" we will keep you updated. Thanks for checking in" Said Winston. With that the call ended, already a risky move, but we are still out of the direct path to the Lindholm residence.

" I know I shouldn't have done that, but it was when... well. I was—"  
Stammered Lena.

" it's fine" I grunted. " it's already over".

" what exactly are we doing?" Asked Jesse. " getting Reinhardt and John to safety, then we figure it out from there" answered Winston. " doesn't that sound like a big ol' time waste?"

" how is keeping our friends safe wasting time?" Barked Fareeha.

" everyone we just need to take—" Winston started.

" we don't have moments to take! We have decisions to be made and this decision—" Torbjorn interjected.

" look I was just trying to help!" Yelped Lena.

" there's a difference between making a rational—" Hanzo States grumpily.

Bastion who had been considerably quiet the entire time joined in whirring.

The entire group was going into chaotic madness, frantic words being thrown around and no one was even trying to listen. Concentrate on getting to the safe spot, you aren't their leader anymore. And whenever you try to be one, it just ends up in flames...

" ALL I AM TRYING TO SAY HERE IS !" Shouted Jesse.

" oh shove it! All of you!" Lena shouted back. Her voice echoing in the cockpit and down to the others. The shaking in my hands was uncontrollable.

" do you need somethin?" Asked Lena, her eyes wide in concern before she shot an angry look below. My chest felt like it was going to explode, anger, sorrow and fighting with myself.

" we are taking the only course of action we can right now! If we just march into one of the many talon bases right now we would be destroyed! All of us, trying to protect each other sometimes comes at a we do that and fail without proper procedure, then Angela is worse off. This is the path we decided would be the best for the time being!" I bellowed.

Silence...

Ana looked up from tending to Reinhardt, an almost smug smile curled on her usually stern lips before she returned to Reinhardt's Medical needs. For his sake I desperately wish Angela was here, for more than my own selfish reasons.

" you heard him, let's remain focused and continue to go through this footage and these maps" Said Winston as he adjusted his glasses for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past few minutes.

I sunk back into my chair and stared off into the sky, we have to remain on our course.

" welcome back commander " whispered Lena.

 **A/N: Sorry again for taking so long, i've been working on this chapter and another one together, but decided to split them up, mostly because i wanted input before posting the next one, seeing if i needed to change anything or if this would go over well. I know it's not up to my normal standard, if i have one of those. I'm trying. Much love to all of you who read this, and thank you so much to my anon guest! your words have really helped. (also, bastion is still around, i promise, i edited it to add something!)**


	59. Chapter 59

The rest of the flight there was no fighting, just hushed whispers and Ana swearing often.

Lena barely opened her mouth, unusual for her, but she looked so exhausted. Her spiky hair was almost deflated as she hunched over the controls. Jesse popped up at one point to check in, but that only brought half a sentence and smile.

So I was left to my thoughts, talon is probably celebrating... but tightening up security. They have what they want for now, their next move could be disastrous. Is the U.N. even trying at this point? Would contacting them bring any form of cooperation? Or would they just bulk at the offer and decline working with our now criminal selves and organization. Lucio could be the key, and Hana. They already have all the support of the people.

Off in the distance all I can see is snowcaps and treetops. Such a beautiful area.

" I presume we are parking in the cave ?" I asked turning to Torbjorn.

" ehhhh that may have been converted into Brigitte's workshop" he said sheepishly.

" I think yeh should try going a bit further downhill, there's another one down there. We can bring down the sled for the big lug" he half laughed, the sadness hovering over him as he sighed.

Normally he exuded energy and fire, now he seems drained. Lena took over the trickier landing in my place.

Cloaked once again by the darkness, fresh snow was covering the land, making me ache even more for her. How she would just absently toss herself down and make an angel in the fresh powder. No matter what circumstances occurred she would just do it.

I glanced over at John who was barely opening his eyes, I sling my pulse rifle over one shoulder and scoop him into my arms. The drastic weather change... do we even have clothes for him in this climate? Am I worried about this? I've become a dad.

Fareeha seemed more perky as she walked with me towards the house with the rest of the team, except for Ana and Reinhardt of course. Bastion would also be staying behind to guard Just in case.

I've been not as focused on him lately, and I know that isn't the way to handle stress.

A strong wind stung my face as I pulled John closer to my jacket.

" dad?" He yawned.

" yeah?"

" where are we?!" He asked.

I have so much explaining to do, fucking sleeping medication on a child.

" we are at Torbjorn's House" I replied. John rubbed his head against my chest, the soft glow of lights in the distance, a welcoming but deeply depressing sight.

" Ingrid is gonna have a bit of a fit, haven't really told her but... then again... ooooh" muttered Torbjorn.

" I thought ya told her!" Squeaked Lena. Hanzo glanced over with a scowl, more so than usual.

" well, she knows I can pop in at anytime with any assortment of guests! So I don't see what the issue will be" yammered Torbjorn.

" you brought it up, so there must be some sort of issue" muttered Hanzo disapprovingly.

" ah! It'll be fine! " answered Torbjorn with a throw of his hands in the air. Loose snow flew over our faces. It's not very deep, just the usual coating for higher in the mountain range.

His little place of solitude, an escape for that one glorious Christmas. Any Christmas was amazing with her...

Genji popped out of the tree line with a roll to his feet.

" all clear!" He flashed the thumbs up as he scurried up the hill with the others. Fareeha still leading the pack, she kept nervously fiddling with her backpack, so much that Lena began teasing her.

For once the cowboy wasn't smoking, I am thankful for that, we don't need any attention drawn to us on the off chance our check wasn't enough.

I should have just taken them home, we would all be happy and safe. But... that's not a practical thought. Just a dream and I'm not a dreamer. She made me a dreamer, despite her insistence that she has no imagination. How could someone so incredibly versed in medical practices and advances not have some form of imagination?

" all right, if you all stand with me when I knock—" started Torbjorn as the door flew open.

" hello" purred the kind blonde woman.

Torbjorn threw open his arms and wore a sheepish grin.

" maybe a little warning my love" she teased as she opened the door wider motioning for us to enter.

" oh! Who is this one?!" She cooed as she reaches out for John.

John recoiled against my chest and gripped my jacket.

" no worries! I'm Ingrid! " she chirped. I walked past her and set John down on the ground but he gripped onto my leg.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Fareeha fast walk over to Brigitte, whose face lit up upon seeing her.

" dad" whispered John.

I crouched down and he let go of my leg.

" yeah ?"

" why are we—- where are we"

" I told you, it's Torbjorn's House, isn't it nice ?" I asked trying to keep him focused on other things. There's so much for a kid here, between all of Torbjorn's kids and now grand-kids the House has plenty for a kid.

" yes" he sighed as his brilliant blue eyes peered around.

Brigitte and Fareeha ran out the front door, I barely caught Brigitte's expression but the once jovial reunion had turned to talk of Reinhardt. Ingrid let out a small whimper as she tried to avoid eye contact.

" hey John, can you be good for a few minutes and just sit over there by the fire? Don't touch it though or get too close " I said to him as he shrugged and obeyed.

" they are gonna keep him on the orca overnight, better tech in there... but the more hands Ana has the better. So we are gonna stay in here for the night and figure out things, while they try'ta stabilize him" whispered Lena.

Before we arrived we knew we would have to stay for a bit to regroup and keep things safe, I shrugged my shoulders and she just sighed.

" I want to get her too" she grumbled as she crouched closer on the floor to me.

" that's all I can think about" I admitted. Not my comrade, but admitting that felt better despite how shitty it makes me sound.

Angela was still young and vibrant, she could live forever if she wanted. She still has so much work left to do...

Lena was chewing on her lip anxiously, everyone was trying to settle. Hanzo and Genji returned outside after a moment to keep watch from the trees. Barely a word spoken about it, that's just how they work.

Winston had left to assist Ana, Torbjorn and Ingrid. Jesse joined Lena and I on the floor, he sprawled out but his back bunches forward. The spurs slowly spinning as he shook one leg anxiously.

Lena's hand reaches out to steady his leg, after a few moments of hushed arguing he stops.

" we are like sitting ducks and I hate it" the annoyance dripping with each word.

I snorted and glanced over at John who was getting a bit too close to the fire but Lena noticed quickly just as an ember floated towards him. A small yelp as Lena tackled him.

" love!" She Squeaked as she looked at his arm. Just a small burn, I gently rubbed his back.

" you are fast" he giggled at Lena.

" well you shouldn't play with fire!" She replied sternly.

" I'm fine! " he whined as he outstretched his arm. True, it went from a burn mark to a patchy grey area. Just what Angela was worried about, I grumbled for a moment. She would probably want a note of this. I slid off the backpack and dig through it for one of her notebooks.

The binding of it clearly stressed from how often she fell asleep on its open pages.

" what're you doin then?" Asked Lena with a quizzical face.

" just adding some notes for—" then I stopped as John looked at me with watery eyes.

" hey kid, it's okay... you just know how she is" I added quickly. I hate wearing this mask inside now, but Ingrid doesn't know and neither does Brigitte and once again for the millionth time it's better off this way.

I skimmed through the pages, her own little coding and drawings scrawled out. This is harder than I thought, Just looking at all her hard work. It needs to be protected, and if not... destroyed.

I finally found a blank page and wrote down the date and injury report. She would get a kick out of this. She always loved our half assed injury reports. She would then go tracking down whoever got hurt and go over the wounds. Later she would show up and sweetly scold whoever wrote the terrible reports, until some people took advantage of her doing that and would file false ones just to get more attention.

"When is she coming back?" He whispered.

Lena let out a soft whimper as she returned to sit by Jesse, her soft thud as she dropped to the floor and leaned against him.

How the hell do you even begin to explain all of this? Without telling him the absolute nightmare of a situation.

Come to think of it, it was almost easier being a commander than a dad.

" when we get her, we are working on it"

" but I want her back now!" He howled. I quickly pulled him against me.

" we all do, but they won't hurt her, they just want some information, and you can't get information if you hurt someone" that was a lie. I sighed, and saw Lena and Jesse eyeing me. What the hell do they want? What would they say if this was their kid?

" they hurt Bucky!"

" John that's a movie, this is reality and it's much different from movies" I explained.

Thankfully the door opened and Ingrid walked in. Quickly securing the door in place, and looking thoroughly exhausted.

" uhm, we have rooms if you want to rest, I can show them to you if you wish" her voice was strained.

" that would be great love" Said Lena forcing out a smile.

The deceivingly small looking cabin was rather large, it helps a lot with privacy but back in its day it had children in every room, now it mostly sits empty except around holidays. Ingrid wore a weary smile as she gestured to any rooms on the left side being available.

" you can pick John" I said to him as he peered around in my arms.

He pointed at the familiar door, I nodded and said " good choice " as I opened the door.

" I'll be setting up in this one, if anyone wants to join me later for some strategy planning" Said Winston pointing at the door lovingly carved with various designs.

" you got it" sighed Lena, as her and Jesse disappeared into another room.

John began wiggling again and he brushed his hands on my mask. I'm starting to loathe it. It just symbolizes cowardice now.

" alright kid" i grunted as I dropped him onto the large bed. There's that pang of sadness again.

My hand hovered over the heart carvings on the bed post. Angela and I do not have wood carving talent. I can create, yes but not carve.

These were all the workings of torbjorn, he has immense talent for these things.

" are you sad?" John whispered.

" I am, but I have you here" I responded.

" Ich bin dein schild" ( I am your shield) John replied.

My body slumped onto the bed next to him as he hugged me. A quiet sob rocked my body for a moment.

We lost her, we are probably losing Reinhardt because of this... I'm an utter failure and I'm crying while hidden behind a mask in front of my son, a son I wasn't sure I had until I finally showed my coward face to the love of my life years after pretending to be dead.

Fuck.

Fuck this. Fuck this idea that I am some sort of brave man. This is why I hid, I'm weak. I let everyone down around me, and now I'm paying the ultimate price.

" daddy" John whimpered.

" I didn't mean to make you upset" he whispered.

" John..." I slowly said as I removed my mask.

"I'm sorry kid, I thought I was doing the right thing, but sometimes you miss the mark. I've made a lot of mistakes, but I'm going to get her back!"

John looked up at me quizzically.

" I need to go talk to Winston for a bit, will you be able to sleep without me?" I asked.

" I'll try" he said sweetly.

" can I do anything for you?"

" I just want her back"

" me too, do you want me to put on a movie for you or something?"

" yeah" he said after a moment. I nodded and pulled out the pad, as we looked through some movies together.

He finally settled on Star Wars for the billionth time, as long as it helps.

We sat in silence for a few minutes before he passed out again. I carefully slid out of the bed and my mask back on as I quietly left the room.

The hallway was so empty, the once filled beautiful house seemed like a sturdy shell.

Winston's door was cracked, so I carefully entered. It was only him, furiously reading.

" oh uh hello there!" He exclaimed, his glasses were quickly pushed back into place as he squinted at the computer some more.

" anything new?" I asked as I pulled up the chair next to him.

" uh well, not much to report on. I've been tracking various crime sources, just to figure out if anyone we know is involved and nothing" he scratched his head.

" that is quite odd. It's been almost 24 hours" those words stuck in my throat, pounding in my mind.

" I know you've researched them more than I have. Maybe I'm missing something?"

The longer I scanned the maps for any signs of activity, my eyes kept lingering on the looped footage. There's something we have to be missing. I wish I could mull this over with Ana, she's the best at finding the gaps in my theories.

" can you make the video of sombra larger?" I asked after exhaling heavily.

" right away" he replied.

" why would they make this video? "

" come again?" Asked Winston.

" it's cocky, even for them. Normally they just did audio, putting sombra on camera taunting us at a crime scene is just... moronic, it's begging to be investigated by official sources"

Winston's eyes darted from screen to screen.

" what are you saying ?" He voiced.

" I'm saying, there's two possible reasons. One: they think they have the complete upper hand and want someone to engage with them. Or two: there's something in this that we haven't found yet, something hidden or embedded... " i mused.

" how many times have you checked this video for sources, data... breadcrumbs? " I added, my brows knitting together.

" well, without a proper lab it's not that simple, but I can recheck it for a few more things... as I said it was almost too simple. I've been trying to crack a few small details... but now I want to try a few more things" he announced suddenly.

I leaned back in the chair, the soft creak of the wood providing some noise in the silent room. It seems the entire house is asleep. Good, they will all need rest if we happen to find anything.

" Jack, you should probably get a little bit of rest. I'll keep analyzing this and Will let you know if anything comes up. For now you do need some sleep" Winston spoke as if he was reading my mind.

I shook my head and he just looked at me with sad eyes.

" look, you won't be doing her any good if you don't get sleep" his sad expression only growing with more melancholy features.

" fine" I huffed as I got up from the carved chair. Winston offered a look of thanks before I left the room.

The dark empty hallway smelling faintly of coffee and fresh cedar.

My hand hovered on the door before entering, John was curled into a ball, ' just like his mother' I smiled. Carefully removing my jacket and boots before slowly laying down on the other side of the large bed. She should be here. She was here... the ghost of Christmas past haunting my mind.

I could hear her stifled laughter as I pressed my fingers to her mouth, she would gently bite them before I pulled her lips to my mouth. She tasted like cream and spiked hot chocolate, our attempts at being discreet almost thrown away earlier in the kitchen.

Ugh. This is just making me miss her more. The sweet way she would kiss me before tucking herself against my side and immediately fall asleep. What she didn't know was I would stay awake, softly confessing my feelings for her. She knew... she knows I love her. I just can't, I'm not the proclamation of love type. Now I just wish I could tell her every single thought. The way she tries to hide her laughter behind her hands, hiding her brilliant smile from the world. How each patient was her top priority, no one tended too any less than the other... he would argue that. But truly, I never got special treatment medically.

Sleep took control for two hours, I timed myself closely. I had two hours of nightmares but thankfully rest while...

Focus on getting her, not your obvious failures. John was still sleeping next to me, his fingers clutching the tablet that was playing some credits on one of the Star Wars films he chose. Angela would kill me if she knew I let him watch movies all night. A steady exhale of breathe left my mouth as that thought settled into my mind.

Rolling myself out of bed without disturbing John and managing to put on my heavy boots and mask stealthily.

I crept towards the door but the wooden boards lightly creaked in betrayal. John stirred for a moment before rolling onto his back. Crisis averted... you've still got your stealth.

Carefully opening the door and venturing back to Winston's room. The door was cracked open, enough for me to see him zooming in on the satellite footage.

Carefully knocking on the door as he turned and smiled, motioning for me to enter.

" I've narrowed it down to two bases that she could be at, both heavily guarded. Their joint efforts with other organizations is certainly not helping" he sighed as he rubbed his eyes.

" looks like you could use some rest yourself" i suggest.

He laughed for a moment and smiled.

" you are probably right, I would be a hypocrite if I told you to rest and I didn't myself. Think you could take over for a few?" He questioned.

" of course" I answered as he rose from his crouched position and made his way to the bed.

" not used to these sorts of accommodations" he mused.

" ha... yeah" I chuckled as I turned to the screens. Winston's notes scribbled on some spare sheets of paper. I decided to focus on monitoring the area for a bit. Just checking movement around the main base, a bit obvious? Maybe... but they currently have the upper hand.

Hours went by, just watching the videos and scheming about how to best attack. With so few numbers it seems like a suicide mission. I desperately need some form of medication. Not an easy thing to admit, but I was doing much better on it. My rage was more controlled, which helped my focus. Now I just have a cold cup of coffee from hours ago when I strolled to the kitchen and bumped into Hanzo. Genji had told him to rest, there's a lot of that going on. I eyed the machine and decided against making a fresh pot and just sticking to the leftovers.

Returning to the room and slumping back into the chair.

Winston's dreams are a nice comical distraction for a moment. Then he bolts awake as Lena dips into the room.

" fresh coffee?" She wearily asks.

I nod as she hands me a steaming cup, the fragrance of it almost being enough to waken an army of the dead.

" Lindholm special brew" she half laughed as she flopped into the chair and blew the steam off her cup.

Angela drank this like it was water, I chuckled for a moment before remembering.

" so what's the current situation?" She asked mustering up some enthusiasm.

" just more evidence solidifying that Sombra is a wild card, and how much we need better resources to delve into this"

" makes sense. Ana had me check for trackers around the orca and nothin'. Before she would throw them around like candy!" Lena mused before taking a sip and cringing.

Winston laughed for a moment as he unscrewed some jar of peanut butter before shoving his hand into it. I turned back to the screens.

" do we have movement ?" Winston exclaimed.

" we most certainly do!" Chirped Lena as a cloaked group of omnics marched out to a transport carrying items.

" could we thermal camera this or?" Asked Lena.

" oh no! We are just relying on sat footage, there's no way for us to improve this. It's a miracle we are able to see it this close up" responded Winston.

" then, and I don't mean to be a total damper... they probably know they can be watched, and that just doesn't make a lick of sense" Said Lena.

My brows furrowed at the simple revelation. Why was I an idiot that actually thought this would work?!

Even Winston looked frustrated at himself.

" rubbish... I'm sorry loves, I just"

" it's fine, if they know they are being watched constantly then there must be another tunnel or something that helps them be more discreet, we've studied these bases for a long time. Not these in particular, but the bases of talon" I paused feeling my annoyance and anger building up.

" our problem, the U.N. won't do anything about it. Most of them know where talon operates but understands the risks of engaging. Ana and I would clean up the stray groups of them, but we couldn't fully attack. This is a difficult situation and I'm seeing almost no options for us to do this with such small numbers" the longer I spoke the more angry I was becoming.

" do we go to the U.N.?" Lena states bluntly.

My hands threw up in defeat.

" chances are, they'd rather just bomb the place with her inside and look for her body later. Since she's decommissioned and technically a threat by herself, she's better off dead to them..." I voiced, not looking at Lena and Winston.

" bullshit" grunted McCree from the doorway.

" how so?" I asked.

" she's brilliant, they'd rather have her as backup" he said as his teeth clamped on his cigar.

" yeah well look how well that's gone for her so far, she's now a criminal like the rest of us, but probably more so" I argued.

" but they won't want her dead" whispered Lena.

" look at what they did to us—"

" to us! Not you! Before the explosion it was just on you and Reyes! Which sealed all of our fates!" Shrilly Shrieked Lena.

I deserved that, I deserve a lot of this.

With my mask off temporarily I know she was reading my face. I feel like a child being scolded.

" I'm sorry I shouldn't have..." she exclaimed and paused.

" you have every right to be upset but—"

" wait, I have an incoming transmission on the old comm" Said Winston.

" from where?"

" ecopoint" Said Winston with large weary eyes.

 **A/N: bummm buuummm BUUUUUUUUM! Ahem. Sorry this took awhile. i hope the formatting is okay, because if i have to press the space bar one more time, i will probably lose my mind. I've got some stuff in the works for the next few chapters, but reviews/ criticism / where you think this is headed is always appreciated!**

 **Huge shout out to L0rd0ftheM3mes, and my new and lovely ray of sunshine cyborgninja777**

 **Thank you all for reading, and i hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry for marvel references, but he's a kid. And goodness knows i reference marvel. but have you listened to kids debate marvel movies? my goodness!**


	60. Chapter 60

Being forced into walking with Sombra and her army of Talon agents, aboard one of the most intimidating looking aircrafts I had seen in years.

I won't fight it, the longer they linger here the more time they have to find John, that cannot happen.

I inhaled deeply as she shoved me up the ramp, and practically dragged me to the back, dozens of agents yipping and cheering.

" lay off" barked Sombra in response to a few stray hands reaching for me.

The further we walked the more anxious I became, a back door opened to a decked out sitting room, inside was an omnic I had seen before...Maximilian.

A shaky breath exited my lips as I stood in front of him. The slickness of his suit a drastic change from the more friendly omnics I had been living with.

" sit" he ordered as he motioned to the plush seating. My knees buckled as I dropped down to the ground instead.

" or whatever is comfortable for you" he stated as he motioned to two guards.

I could hear the engines firing up as I knelt on the floor, Sombra was adjusting the cuffs on my wrists. There's nowhere to run anyways, the doors had already shut, I can't escape this room and beyond those doors are dozens that would do worse.

" i know what you are thinking, will we do the same thing we did with Amélie ? Well. That choice is yours, you can accept our offer or we can make you. "

I stared at the steel bar under the table, the sleek surface pooling onto the floor, elegantly fastened in place. This must be his personal area, seems risky in such a large plane.

Meaty fingers jabbed into my sides as I was placed on the seat, Sombra sat next to me. Two guards remained back here. The humor of them needing two guards for me in a heavily guarded plane!

" you seem tense, your heart rate is elevated. Then again, we did take you unwillingly "

I stared at the ground, at least I was wearing shoes I guess. I breathed in and out, focusing on each exhale. Sombra let out an agitated sigh, she's part of Talon... ?

Focus on that, Maximilian began speaking again and as much as I want to tone him out I cannot. I'd undergone hostage negotiation training before, I've been held at gunpoint in front of overwatch members, much to Jack's absolute horror. Jack, focus on that. He's an easier focus than John, with John I feel fear and guilt. But they didn't get him.

" dr. Ziegler, I personally do not want to harm you, but you are a needed asset to us" he continued while I could feel my urge to scream becoming uncontrollable.

They cannot use the same thing they did with Amélie, it shouldn't work on me. Shouldn't...

Sombra's elbow jabbed into my side as she pulled out her phone and began fidgeting with it. My eyes wandered to her screen for a moment, the video of the building on it, the walls I once walked splattered in blood. I hardly noticed as I was dragged out but now it was unavoidable.

" done" she muttered as she began typing furiously yet again.

"You were supposed to wait til we were further away" Said Maximilian.

" we are far enough, it has to go through a few location scramblers so it won't be out for another twenty, but the steps have been taken" she sighed, her voice sounding more like she was listening off a grocery list than anything else.

" your friends will be worried, do you want them to be harmed in the process? Or would you rather move forward and cut all ties?" Asked Maximilian.

Is he talking to me? The idea of creating fear within my group is inevitable. But they are better at protecting themselves than apparently me. With all the medical testing I have experimented with on myself, what can they possibly do? I've worked around the serums to fix Amélie long enough to at least avoid a brunt of mind control. I've basically encapsulated myself. I just need to buy time.

" it's very rude to not respond " he continued. I felt my brow instinctively quirk.

Now think, what else do you know of your captor? Hm. Talon omnic is usually never seems to have not disabled his empathy completely. That's really the only difference emotionally from omnics and Humans. They can disable what they don't want to focus on, of course it's a long and labored process.

There's nothing to be done now, they want a medic. They want power, the UN couldn't do shit in protecting me once overwatch was disbanded. They don't do much for criminals. Now they want me for performing medical work without a license. Ha. Years of working for foreign aid, donation money and time to Medical studies, criminal for doing my job, criminal for continuing my work afterwards. Getting them involved would be quiet the endeavor.

Nobody said anything, I could sit in complete silence, trying to focus as hard as I can to just remain as calm as possible despite the fact that my heart is racing beyond control.

" if you would prefer to remain silent, we can make you talk" he stated.

Of course I don't want to talk, I know very well the methods used to make people talk as I've had to unfortunately administer some before. I had cried and pleaded but I was under the strict orders of Blackwatch. If it wasn't me it would have been someone who would be much worse. I dreaded that, I despised it. I remember vomiting for hours over what I had done, his face etched into my memory. He was a criminal, and even then I found it hard to do. I'm not a criminal by normal standards. My fists clenched and my jaw locked as I remained silent. What he said next echoed in my head.

" enjoy your last hour of freedom then"

My last hour of freedom... please. Please find me, was repeating itself over and over in my mind.

Even then it would do nothing, Talon has the advantage. The pressure knotting in my abdomen as I wanted to scream.

Instead I dug my nails where I could, desperately trying to ground myself.

This can't be happening, this can't be real. It seems like ages ago that I was curled up with Jack in bed, engaged and content. Even if we were in hiding forever, it would still be better than this.

Sombra's elbow gently nudging me for once instead of jabbing, what is her deal? I glanced over at her but she was still staring at her phone, purple nails clicking against the screen. Probably an accidental nudge. I cleared my throat and her eyes flickered to mine for a brief moment before she quickly averted them. Curious...She nudged again and I looked at her face, her teeth nibbled her lip as her brows knitted together, her tapping slowed for a moment, I wonder... on the screen of her phone was ' sorry' for a second, then it vanished.

Sorry? She's sorry?! For fucking helping in the capturing of me? For taunting me for months?!

A frustrated grunt escaped my body and she just responded with an equal sound. What the fuck is this?

Clunking sounds of machinery jarred my thoughts. Is this plane going down? Better that than whatever else I'm about to face.

" I'm sick of this shit" mumbled Sombra.

" behave yourself in front of guests" he warned as Sombra replied with a frustrated grunt.

" just a bit of turbulence, I'm certain you are used to it" he added.

I still said nothing.

The remaining flight was silent, besides the frustrated typing of Sombra.

As we landed I felt my stomach drop, I felt arms lifting me up. I'm being fucking carried?! For what reason?

A blindfold was placed over my eyes, as if I would be able to tell where I am, but it's all part of the power trip they are on. Each step seemed worse and worse. It's too hopeful to think I'd be rescued so soon, I just need to buy time.

I'm indoors somewhere is all I can tell from how the sound is echoing. Random chatter surrounds me and cheering. I'm stupidly important to whatever they want. My medical studies always bordering on the constricts of law and nature.

I heard heavy doors opening as I was forcibly seated in yet another chair. I could feel the chains shake on the table, and finally the blindfold was removed, but darkness surrounded me as the doors slammed shut.

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness of the room, one singular light shone down on the table. Every nerve in my body was tingling. The door creaked as the bolts unlocked, and there he was. The shadow of a man I once knew and cared for.

" little bird" he sneered. His power play, I won't give into this. I won't give into his rage, power, and horror. No matter what I must remain as strong as possible to get the hell out.

" I hope you find your accommodations suitable " he hissed.

The red of his eyes glowing in fury.

I blinked at him, not wanting to feed into this moment that he has been waiting for.

" what? No greetings? No ' hello Gabe ?'"

I rubbed my wrists where the shackles held me, fuck this.

His metallic talons scraped across the table making a horrible screeching noise.

Don't flinch, don't worry, at any moment someone anyone could stop this. They won't let him hurt me, not yet.

But seeing him again, in front of my face was intimidating. I could feel the hatred directed towards me, just like usual.

" fine, don't speak. As a matter of fact it's better this way, I don't have to hear your holier than thou bullshit " he spat out, ah. We are in the tantrum phase. The only thing keeping me remotely sane right now is realizing he hasn't changed, he's still the irrationally angry man I knew. If he hasn't changed does that mean the same weaknesses are still there? Or has talon completely taken control of this shell?

Surprisingly nobody checked me for anything, the medication inside my boot, just sitting and waiting.

His hands began to wrap around my chains as they yanked me closer to the table. Don't scream, don't make a sound. He won't hurt you...

My face slammed into the table as he quickly yanked on the chain. The sound not only echoing in my head but in the room. A pleased laugh as he did it again.

Childish Gabe. Foolish, too absorbed in his own revenge. If I have to be knocked around a bit I can manage. He's put me through worse for less before.

" do you want to see what you did to me?" He hissed in this ghastly voice.

I could almost view him removing the skull mask, the raspy sound as he removed it, not the clicking and slight pneumonic noise like Jack's mask. This sounded more complex, as if it was holding is face together.

Then in the fractured light I could see the face I once knew, hardly recognizable. Instead of his flesh were pieces of necrotic flesh stretched and flayed over exposed muscle. An extra row of spiked teeth and protruding eyeballs, the sockets hardly containing them. I created this... I destroyed this.

I kept swallowing to hold back the tears that threatened to fall.

" excellent work... isn't it?" He said, still his voice wasn't his, I couldn't see his throat as the coverings were still wrapped. It's surprising the first untested device managed to revive him.

Apologizing is useless, I know because this happened with Genji. I barely remember how Gabe became this. It's still blocked in my memory. I know I used the tech, and I know what I did. But the memory feels so disconnected from me.

But now with his mostly rotted flesh inches from my face the reality is... I did this.

" sensing your own failure? " he hissed.

Of course I am.

" perfect little Angela. Couldn't possibly create another monster could she? Too busy fucking everyone and everything up " he continued.

I could feel his breath on my face, my chest feeling like a gaping wound, as my breathing strained.

" I just want you to know what it feels like" he snarled as his hands went for my neck.

Everything surged into my brain, every cell of my body remembering this moment, that moment. The time before. My adrenaline pounding and stomach tensing. The pressure he applied as his forehead touched mine.

" LOOK AT ME" he howled.

My eyes squeezed tightly shut, and his nails dug into me.

My skull crashes into his before I could process he lunged back.

" you stupid bitch!" He yelled.

Flicking my chair back as I landed with a crack on the floor. I felt intense pain for a moment and my mind went fuzzy.

" That will be enough for now" a voice spoke through the speakers.

Reyes' boot collided with my head, and warm blood trickled down.

" ENOUGH!" The voice bellowed. Gabe stomped off in a huff and I was left on the floor, luckily the chains were long enough for this. The floor by far more soothing to my aching skull.

The deep drumming in my temples as the wound healed, the room was eerily quiet. I have been trained for this, I won't give them what they want. Surely they won't keep me like this much longer if they do want my medical knowledge. Or they are trying to weaken me first, and unfortunately it's working. Being alone with my thoughts is torture in itself and Gabe knows this. The scraping of the chains on the floor as my hands rubbed my head.

The light flickered for a few moments before the room went completely dark. Becoming aware of each inhale and exhale in utter silence as all senses begin to leave my grasp.

Why aren't they here yet? Fuck.

Fuck.

What if something—

The strained breaths fluttered back into my face.

No, there's no way they were all taken out. Reinhardt...

Don't think about that, don't think about John. Think that everyone is safe and you, you Angela need to be ready and aware. You need to do the one thing you never want to do. You need to fight this.

As more time passed the more worry knotted inside my body. Every so often heavy footsteps were outside the door. I tried focusing on counting the steps I could hear and how often they would switch. Nothing helped. I'm trapped in my thoughts, moving my head slightly as the dried blood cracked when my brow furrowed.

Most of my energy focused on not moving much. The chains are making too many noises and I know they are probably watching. It would be foolish if they weren't. The vial in my boot sticking to my leg, for some reason they didn't check me. Am I really seen as a weak person? Of course I am.

Reyes knew, but he also doesn't know how much I learned. He never bothered with me much, and was more annoyed with the time Jack spent with me. The time everyone spent with me. Why is he so childish? And why exactly did Jack remain his friend for so long? He said he used to be different, and I knew for a small time the ' nice' version of him. He was an ass but a protective jerk. His constant picking on Jesse, but also his desire to turn him into his protege was... different.

Tough love I suppose. We all were somewhat friends at a time. I did missions with him without Jack, which caused him a copious amount of stress. Reyes was well coordinated but he constantly forgot about me, thank goodness for Jesse constantly saving my ass. My knees touched my chest as I started to do my breathing control again.

They are fine, nothing happened to them, and John is fine. Jack is fine, everyone is fine. One. Two. Three.

Inhale.

I tried going to a happier place mentally but the cold floor kept pulling me back to the stark and terrifying reality. This isn't okay.

I destroyed Reyes... I made him this way. Failed technology was used on him... I fucked up. This is all on me...

The door opened as two guards entered. I was dragged to my feet as one pushed me out into the Fluorescent hall lights. My head thankfully feeling better or this would be torture.

" come on princess, pick up your pace" laughed one. He almost looked like one of the Los muertos members, a faint skull tattoo on his face. One metal door opened, a lab was in front of me, not as high tech as at overwatch. Hell some of it looked like scrapped bits from overwatch. This is talon, the same talon that altered Amélie's mind so well that I couldn't figure it out immediately. My throat felt raw as a few ' scientists' looked up. Their eyes gleamed, a male with short black hair walked over to me immediately. A gloved hand lifted my chin up as he inspects my wounds.

I gritted my teeth as he frowned.

" healed up ? Still working with your nanotech I presume" he clicked his tongue.

" I looked forward to working with you" he added as he watched the guards secure my chains to a table.

They removed themselves from the room, a camera carefully followed my every moment. I was too far from any dangerous chemicals, not that I could try anything anyways.

" Angela, help show me the basics of your revival tech... or I'll hand you back over to Reyes, to do whatever he seems fitting. "

I started to open my mouth in protest but he pressed the gloved finger to my lips.a gross ache swelled, an arm nervously twitched.

" keep in mind, we have many tools to make you speak " he smiled as he waved a hand towards various chemicals. The colors all matched with my studies on mind control and various torture agents.

I locked my jaw firmly in place, I can handle it. Nobody needs what I have developed in the wrong hands. This could bring forth the murder of thousands, and continually providing talon with unlimited sources.

I will not break.

I looked away from him and stared at the camera.

" really? I thought you were smart Angela..." he almost purred. The other scientists snickered.

I should be able to withstand anything, I have trained for this again and again. My own bodily experiments nearly destroying me to get to this point. The sleepless nights, the pain of everything... I am prepared, I just need to buy time.

I eyed some of the chemicals and began moving as close as I could with the length I was allowed.

Carefully memorizing each vial as quickly as I could.

" of course if you need to synthesize any new chemicals we have the capability " he almost lost his confidence for a moment. They need this, is this really all they wanted me for?

I nodded my head slowly and glanced around at the machines. I've worked with less before but this is talon. Why is it so... empty?

This cannot be the full lab, I tapped my foot for a moment before turning to another shelf. Oh wonderful, more chemicals for torture.

I pushed my nails into my palms and sighed. Definitely the ingredients for chemical warfare. If I just... if I comply things could get drastically worse.

The idea of them harming more people...

" no" escaped my mouth before I could think clearly.

" change of mind?"

"Nie " ( never) I replied.

" I believe she said never" said a pale woman as she walked over. The causal way she spoke made her more intimidating.

" such a shame... but more fun for us now" the man said, his yellow eyes blinking slowly like a cat as he walked back over.

" one last chance to do this the easy way, well easy for you. The other way is much more fun for us" his finger slowly traced my jaw.

I pulled back but his hands gripped he chains tightly and with a laugh.

The two guards returned unchaining me from the table. Motioning for me to follow them, the scientist or whatever he is following closely behind.

No matter what, focus. Focus on everything but this. But do not allow John to come into mind, just Incase you slip. You will be fine. You will be fine.

Another metal door opened, my heart sank as I saw the table with locks all along it. I should have stalled more... I tried fighting and wriggling away from the guards but it's futile. One slammed me against the standing table while the other began tightening locks around me.

" leave a little bit of wiggle room, we don't want to fully damage her nervous system. Weakness will not allow her to work properly" hissed the scientist.

" yeah yeah Doctor" mumbled one.

The sound of heavy boots brought my pulse to rise, Reyes walked in, his skull mask secured, thankfully.

" well... looks like the little doctor didn't behave" he teased.

This isn't the Reyes you once knew, his is a different monster.

" ready when you want me" Said the doctor.

" I'm more than ready" Said Reyes as the doctor walked over with a syringe.

The sharp pop as it entered my skin, followed by an incredible burn. My veins felt like fire had been injected, my heart began to race out of control.

I can't focus. I can't breathe. Everything tensed, the chains and locks rattled along with my body.

A soft humming escaped my lips.

The pain was excruciating.

" do you want to play nice now?" Asked the doctor as he reloaded the syringe, halfway through mixing in something else. No no no no.

Again the stabbing pain raced through me. A startled cry, I could barely feel the light tears stream down my face.

Reyes leaned forward with a small prod. Fuck fuck

" do you want to tell us now? We can stop at anytime, if you agree to help" said the doctor.

Despite the pain I barked out " fuck you".

" feisty" Squeaked the man as he loaded up another and quickly injected it. My poor body trying to process everything. The pain was destroying any logical thoughts.

They won't kill me, they won't. This is just pain... that's all.

" we will make you talk" growled Reyes as he jabbed a shocker into my shoulder.

My body shook so hard.

" NO! You don't get to do that!" Shrieked the doctor.

" YOU TAKE ORDERS FROM ME" barked Reyes as I heard the sound of someone getting slapped.

My eyes tried to follow but I felt them rolling upwards as my entire body jerked and shook.

And then it went black.

Am I underwater? The voices sounded so distant, garbled... the dim light coming back into focus. My arm was shivering, I looked down at the purplish blue of my veins as they seemingly burst out of my skin.

A fleeting image of Jack holding me tightly as he slept, his warm breath on my neck as his muscles tightened in his sleep, ' just another nightmare' I whispered to him while stroking his arm.

The shackles undone from the table and I fell to the ground, snapped from the memory.

" we have more we need from you, hopefully this was a warning and incentive" Reyes hissed into my ear.

My lashes obscuring my vision as my eyes begged to close. Reyes slapped his hands against my cheeks as the guards helped me to my feet.

As they dragged me towards the door I saw a bruise forming on the doctors pale face, a cut across his strong cheekbones. I almost feel sorry for him, almost.

As I walked down the hall, my hands firmly held behind my back and re-chained, I took notice to a scrawny man being led into a cell.

" completely unfair mate! And to think of all the help we gave ya!" Came a bitter Australian voice.

" oh! What're you doin' with that Sheila ?" He noted.

" maybe if you are good, you can have her when we are done with her" joked a guard as he dug his gnarled fingers into my arm Pushing me inside a cell across from the belligerent Australian.

A change from isolation and the lab.

I walked over to the small cot set up and sat. The guard was eyeing me up and down, all I have to defend myself are my nails and defense training.

But I feel so weak, I laid down pulling my knees to my chest.

" don't want to play?" Asked the guard.

My already frayed nerves at peak exhaustion.

" hey you. Leave the lady alone" piped up the other prisoner.

He twisted a strand of my hair around his finger as he pulled my face closer to his. Without free hands my options are limited.

I could smell his acrid breath as he pushed me back down.

Someone was pounding and rattling their chains around.

" OY! Hey!" Shouted the Australian.

The guards neck came close enough to my mouth and I bit down as hard as I could until I felt the flesh release and blood trickle into my mouth, instinctively spitting.

Then I felt my body slam against a wall.

" GET OFF HER!" Screamed the other.

Despite the pounding in my head I started kicking and thrashing as he tried to hold me down. The doors on my cell swing open and a rapid gun fire as his body fell onto me. His shoulder crushing my throat.

" bout time one of ya showed up" grumbled the Aussie.

The guards body was getting pushed off me as I saw the face of Sombra.

" going to need some cleanup down here. And an explanation " she grumbled into her comm.

she eyed me as she crouched towards me.

Her purple nails turning my head to each side.

" you really shouldn't do that" I grunted.

" shut up" she said with a smirk.

I could still hear the ringing in my ears from the impact and gunshots.

She fished the keys off the guard and began twisting the ring around. Her eyes anxiously darting.

But the sounds of heavy footsteps caused her to drop the keys she was trying to detach.

" sorry" she mouthed.

What... how hard did I get hit... what is she doing?

A few guards stormed the cell and began taking out the body, while a few eyed me.

One found the keys and attached them to his belt. That tiny glimmer of hope faded, but my hands were rechained in front this time and further apart. I could finally hopefully sleep.

The lights began to fuzz and I felt myself twitch uncontrollably for a moment. The lab... my vision faded completely as my ears pounded louder. Instinctively covering them with my hands, but the sound only grew louder. It's all mental...

" that should stop soon" Squeaked the Australian.

I pressed my cuffs to my forehead, the cool metal providing some comfort to the intense pounding.

" what?" I hissed back.

" they pumped you with some sorta cocktail"

" thanks" I mumbled.

" s'alright"

I turned over carefully, attempting to focus on what exactly.

" color of liquid ?" I asked.

" dunno"

" length of injection"

" dunno"

I grunted, useless... well not entirely. He didn't have to tell me anything.

" I get knocked out all tha time, but it's kinda nice! Get a snooze in and feel right as I should"

" uhuh"

" what's a Sheila like yourself doin' inna place like this?"

" I'm a doctor " I replied cautiously. For all I know he could be with them, another pawn in their bigger scheme.

" ah, never cared much for docs but I seem to be holdin up yeh?"

Gritting my teeth as I got a better look at him, but it was too dark. I could see a shadow of one leg and the other... looked like a chair leg? With all the technology how is this possible? But people can do as they wish... I never tried to push medical advancements on anyone if they were uncomfortable. Well, there was Genji, but I didn't have many options.

" anyways, glad ya woke up" he almost sounded sweet in a deranged way, breaking me from my internal conversation.

" but imma need a favor from ya"

" what?" I rolled onto my sore abdomen.

" that Sheila dropped a key ring, slide it over" he whispered, his eyes almost seemed to glimmer in the shadows.

She definitely didn't leave anything behind... I looked on the ground, nothing stood out.

" right there" he pointed near the darkness under the cot.

My eyes fixed on an empty ring... if he really thinks this will help him get out of here then he is truly deranged. But I have no use for it.

I crawled down, moving it to a better location to causally move it and gently kicked it over towards him.

" thanks" he replied.

" uh huh" I replied while shifting over to the cot again and settling in. My fingers gently rubbing where the shocking device was earlier. I'm not healing as fast, any number of things could be effecting it.

" names junkrat by the way" he Squeaked.

" Angela" I murmured, it's not that I don't want to talk... well actually it is. I don't want to talk anymore. Not that I talked much earlier, but the restrained screaming didn't help. I won't focus on it, I need to focus on surviving another night in hell.

I could hear creaking and rustling coming from him.

" so... doc, what're you doin' in that cage then? How'd you stir up the pot ?"

" long story" I mumbled, I want sleep.

" Im thinkin we have time for that, awww piece of junk" he grumbled and grunted while his metal arm Squeaked.

" I'd rather not if that's alright, but you can tell me about you" for this I would sacrifice a few hours of sleep. Anything to distract my mind and learn something new so I'm not fully focused on how my family is doing, and what the hell they are going to do to me.

" that's even longer" he grunted followed by the sounds of metal scraping and clinking. Torbjorn would have a field day with him, all the weird and archaic designs.

" I guess ya aren't much've a talker then" he sighed, his bed creaking as he moved around.

" sorry, it's been a day"

" yeah yeah, not the most comfortable accommodations for someone like yourself "

" uhhhh"

" I'm just sayin' doc! You don't look like the talon type, they've been treating' you worse than me, and that's sayin' something"

" it's fine" my voice broke off, the walls blurred in the darkness.

" ju—nk " I breathed out.

" try'ta remain calm"

I know what certain medications can do... how they... work.

" just a little pick me up! To keep ya calm"

" did y-ou.."

" no no mate. Yer prolly more used to injecting people with that, just get some shut eye" he replied almost sweetly.

And that's all I remembered before I woke up in a white sterile room, strapped once again to another table, as the bruised doctor hovered over me.

 **A/N: It's been forever. I have stuff written in advance but writing this intro-to hell should be my forte, but i held back a lot, then regretted that, then re-wrote. Thought it went too dark, re-edited. Gosh. I'm so sorry with how long this took. I feel like my usual reasons are just constantly there, and they are, one doesn't magically overnight heal from stuff.**

 **ANYWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYS! i love you all and have missed you greatly, if you feel like reviewing, Great! i love you. If you don't that's fine too, i still love you.**


	61. Chapter 61

**A/N: Angela's point of view. Trigger warning: Torture, Violence, body horror etc. (message me if you want a trigger free one, and i'll do my best!)**

The doctor looked haggard as he began hooking an IV up to me. The pulse monitor clipped onto my finger, very very old technology. Why?

" rise and shine" hissed Reyes, his red eyes glowing in the shadows.

" heard you had an interesting night..." he mocked. I want to throw up, but the empty pang in my stomach making that impossible.

" now, if you will behave... this won't have to last as long" he sneered.

I focused on the scratches on the doctors face, his eyes darted from machine to needles.

" start the process" Reyes ordered.

I'm built for this now, but I'm not sure for how much. The burning in my veins, tears slid down my cheeks uncontrollably.

" will you work with us?" Asked the doctor softly but with urgency.

" no" I choked out, the doctor sighed and loaded up another syringe.

" you see these people?" Asked Reyes , the lights got brighter as I realized some 5 or so others standing in the room, all wearing lab coats and gleeming.

" they will all help get this information out of you, but they are also disposable. For each ' no' a life will be taken " he paused to laugh for a brief moment. Suddenly the doctors with their judgmental and cocky expressions switched. The air of control in the room now shifted to me... the severity of their situation, instead of the joy of their sadistic ways.

" will you help us?" He asked.

I secured my jaw firmly, I won't say no, but I'm never going to agree. Remembering hostage training is harder when you are in the situation.

" that's a no" he fired a bullet into a smaller one, the nervous one who looked at me with the most horrified expression. The futility in my attempt to avoid hearing the soft scream as the bullet tore through their skull. A scene that is now etched into my memory. That look of horror... it's my fault. No... no! It's his fault. Not mine.

" will you... assist us?" He asked again as he inspected his gun.

I cannot cause another death like that, but I was trained better, something I never excelled at. I would always want to surrender.

" I..."

He fired another shot and another.

Lives are being ended because of me, but think of the lives you are saving. Think of life. Think of life.

This isn't how it should go, but I can't stall, I have no energy to stall.

" such a shame you know? She used to be something, creating technology advancements. But now she just wastes it all... I wonder what your parents would say" teased Reyes.

" oh Angela. Their burden... Constantly dragging you from base to base... such a pity. Do you think they cared for you? Or was it something you wanted to believe ? Tell me Angela. How many holidays did they miss? Passing you up for their jobs... do you know that your mother could have retired from the service? All her medals for bravery must have called to her more than you..."

That was low, killing people in my name, bringing up my parents. YOU TRAINED FOR THIS. YOU KNOW HOW HE WORKS.

The room started to shake, the bright lights completely blinding my vision. Fleeting sensations of flying through the air while pressure built up in my skull. I could feel the weight of each joint in my body as I was dropped to the floor. My skin bursting apart as blood poured from my arms.

" did you fall in love with a soldier because you needed a family? You wanted to fuck away your pain and destroy him like your family destroyed you? " echoed Reyes' voice.

I'm bleeding out, like an empty husk. I loved him because he saw the human in me, he saw me, and I saw him.

It wasn't that. It was never about that. Focus on that above all things. Don't even let your parents come into this. He's grasping at straws.

" poor Little Angela... what happened to you? So scared of death that you had to find a way to avoid it? Instead you made hell on earth! Do you know what you have done to people?! Denied people?! You selfish miserable little cunt! You stupid bitch"

My skull felt like it was shattering, I can't breathe.

I can't fucking breathe.

There's...

Nothingness... lights and shrill screams.

Everything is wracked in pain. All I hear is screaming. My ears are rattling as the entirety of my body shook violently.

My eyes are filled with fluid, blinking mats my eyes with stinging tears.

Slowly I can see again. Maximilian is standing there holding Reyes by the throat.

The doctor is splayed on the floor, blood trickling from his skull.

Scheisse.

" stop" I whisper, my vocal chords are frayed as my eyes look down I'm soaked in blood.

Another doctor is carefully patting my arms and binding them. A slight look of concern on their face as they attempt to wipe away some of the blood.

Another person crouched on the floor next to what I assume to be the dead previously in charge doctor.

Reyes gets dragged from the room, yelling at top volume while Max stares blankly at me for a moment.

He steps over a few bodies, that I desperately try not too look at. How much of the blood covering my flesh is mine?

" now, I think we haven't been treating you quite well. Would you care to join me for dinner?" He asks quietly. The doctor lets out a moan on the floor. His hand shakes as he reaches up in an attempt to stand.

" I'm sorry" He croaks but a bullet rips through him from Max's gun.

He carelessly re-holstered the weapon and walks over to me.

" I can't very well force you to eat with me, but it's the least I can do"

A slight popping from my neck as the room tilts to the side. Did my neck just snap?

" you! deal with this" Max orders the doctor crouched on the floor, his eyes convey terror and he immediately walks up to me. I can't feel the hands moving my head up.

" what happened ?" Demands Max.

" too much of—" everything garbles, my vision is fuzzy. Too much of...

a pressure in my temples opens my eyes again.

I'm in my cell laying on my bed, unable to move. My eyes focus on the ceiling.

" I mean can't say I understand what s'exactly ya did, but shite. They got somethin' against ya don't they?" Croaked Junkrat.

" anywho! Guess I can only talk to myself so much before they really start ta think I'm mad"

My eyes blink, what the hell is happening? This isn't the way to get any answers. Anyone with medical knowledge wouldn't do this...

Thank goodness I can think again. My fingers started to tingle ever so slightly.

" they got me workin on some sort of explosive. Well not some sort. I know my way around a bomb or two" He cackled for a moment.

" ever wonder what people want from ya? "

Of course. But I know...

My toes wiggled, I'm not in my boots... scheisse! The medicine...

Fuck fuck fuck fuck.

Bile began rising in my throat, no no.

I could hear the sounds of my throat choking and closing.

" OY! Hey! HEY GUARDSSSSS!" Shrieked Junkrat.

I could hear the doors rattle as a large man turned me onto my side, clearing my airway.

" they really got her jacked up! " laughed the man.

He waved his hand in front of my eyes as they blearily reacted.

" hey you! Get out of there" hissed Sombra.

" I was just checking in on her" he argued.

" I saw what happened. You are lingering, get out now, or I'll send someone to deal with you... they won't mind adding another body to the pile" she menacingly states.

" all right all right. Next time I'll just let the bitch die then" he replied as he stomped off.

The cell door locked as both sets of feet walked away. My ankles now regained feeling along with my wrists.

I wearily waved a hand.

" oh hey! You are up now?" Asked my weird new ally.

I shook my hand again.

" alright alright. I'll keep talkin' since you asked so nicely" he replied as his mattress rustled.

" I can't quite figure you out, those blokes I can, but you and the other Sheila... complete mysteries to me! Ah well, what would ya like to hear about?"

He can't be fucking serious.

" ahhh I'll tell ya bout the time I robbed the queen! Almost got away with it but eh"

Oh hell. That Junkrat... not that there's many Junkrat's I can name off the top of my head. Jamison Fawkes... I remember reading something about this.

As he prattled on I began to regain feeling in my arms and legs, the bruising in my arms gnawing away.

Bolting and jolting pain, not worse than a gunshot and more painful than just a rolled vein. As I attempted to pull my leg to my chest one just fell sideways off the bed.

It won't pull up, it's just dangling there... useless.

" hey hey! Don't try anything I wouldn't!" He chirped.

" I wouldn't " I tried to voice, instead humming sounds as my tongue lulled to the side.

The fucking hell what the fuck did they put in me? Anything mixed with nanotech is unstable, unless I know. Which I won't. Warm tears slid down my face. I'm fucked. I'm completely and totally fucked.

I'm going to sit up, I need to move, I need to get this shit out of me.

My arms flopped into place to shift my body and darkness.

Another blackout.

Another who knows how many hours in this hell hole.

This time I could sit up, faint traces of light in the cell, I know it's the cell because I can hear Junkrat's loud snoring. I plant my feet on the ground. As I make the attempt to stand they sink into the floor, my face greets the cold concrete.

" oi! Some of us are trying to sleep!" Barked Junkrat.

" just me" I whispered. Ah! I can speak! More tears trickle down my face. My fingers plant on the floor as I try to brace myself to stand, instead I flop over.

If my legs still don't work... it's got to be something. I have feeling so they aren't fully paralyzed, just not weight bearing.

" ah! A voice to soothe a dogs bark"

" what..."

" nothing. Just nice to hear another voice"

My throat feels raw, pressing my fingers and feeling the swollen lymph nodes. My body is desperately fighting whatever they filled me with.

" how long was—" I started.

" can't say, hard to tell time in here. Hours? Lotsa hours... maybe a day? I dunno"

How long have I actually been here?

" sorry Sheila. Don't worry though, nothings happened to you on my watch" he whispered as best he could, despite his rather high pitched voice.

On my watch, my emotions are getting the best of me, tears freely flow down my cheeks get again. At least they are keeping me hydrated.

Wait.

My tongue peeks out of my mouth to taste the tears. They aren't salty. They are incredibly bitter and almost gelatinous. Spitting a few times as I drag myself towards the cot.

" I'd help, but uhhh" his metallic hand chiming on the bars. The fact that there are bars here is astounding, how barbaric.

" it's fine" I lament as I roll to my side, I pressed my wrists against the floor, I hadn't noticed the braces instead of cuffs. Was I broken?

" how" I started before shaking.

Focus...

" how much damage did they do ?" I asked quietly.

He exhaled and half laughed " well, still better off than me! But they messed you up, looked like your arms got crushed or somethin' but they started looking better. So that's something " he yawned.

" and my legs?"

" uh.. well. Aren't you the doctor here?"

I let out a grunt of annoyance. No shit... I should be able to tell. I'm more in tune with it than this but my brain feels worse than a hangover and concussion combined. Focusing isn't something I'm able to do.

" you'll be alright" he whispered while he readjusted in his bed with loud shuffling noises.

I closed my eyes, impressive that they allow darkness in here. That's more civil than most jails.

Behind the closed lids I started to see melting flesh, and burning scents took over my nostrils.

My fathers corpse is staring at me with white eyes. Adrenaline pulses as I scream myself awake. Am I awake? I'm sitting across from Max. I don't remember leaving my bed?

" good to see you again doctor Ziegler. Are you ready to treat some patients today?" He swirls a drink in his hand as his head cocks to the side.

" what..."

He motions around him, people are laying in hospital beds, some crying... all bleeding.

What the fuck.

I look down at my arms, my veins are covered in bruises and my wrists are un-braced but clearly swollen. I should be healing. I guess this is healing...

" your body seems to be doing better, perhaps you can work today?" He stated.

" what do you want me to do?"

" your job, Doctor Ziegler. I was under the impression that you are a doctor. Or did Overwatch lie about that as well? "

My lips curled downward in displeasure as I stared at him, trying to ignore the frantic screams.

" no bother to me, most of these are expendable. But some I wouldn't mind having on my team again" he gestured once again at the people lying strapped to hospital beds. How inhumane...

" I don't know" I answered as I stamped my foot, it's working... gott sei dank... ( thank goodness)

These are agents of Talon, I took an oath to save lives... but these are evil evil people. Shut up! You aren't thinking like Angela. Naive Angela. This has to be a trap, my nails dig into the arms of the chair.

" no matter, perhaps I'll let them off the noble way" Max voiced.

He's going to kill them unless you do something. They could die anyway, my eyes glanced over, one with a neck wound, possible severed carotid artery, due to the rapid blood loss... sure enough he appeared to have a stroke before our eyes.

The overwhelming guilt begins to take hold, don't do it Angela. This is what they want.

They want you to do your job, to mix up your remedies and experiments. To risk everything. Even Overwatch didn't have the files on the majority of my experiments. Was it wrong of me? Yes. Did I get away with it? Yes.

I sat back in the chair and stared at him. Don't surrender. I can't gauge this situation properly. The painful screaming was getting louder. I have a duty to these people. I have a code. My expression begins to betray me, I can feel the muscles in my neck tighten as I try not to cry.

Your duty is to the world, to yourself and to your family. Not Talon, never Talon.

I shake my head angrily, the stiffness of the movement causing difficulty. But he just stands up and claps his hands slowly. What the fuck is wrong with these people.

But it's silent. Only the sounds of his clapping, my eyes drift to the beds that are completely empty. No humans or blood.

" clearly your morals didn't intervene"

That fucking asshole, but which is worse? Letting people die or just using Mind tactics. Wait. Wait... no no no no

The room is blurry, and everything is going dark, not again not again. Please not again.

My eyes have remained open despite the entire ordeal.

" return to now" laughs an unfamiliar voice. I know I haven't moved yet I'm laying down and the overhead light is switched on. Is this how they changed Amélie? Is Max even in the room?

I sit up, still unrestrained.

" that my dear is just a sampling of what will happen if you chose to remain unwilling to help" I look over, seeing Max standing behind some glass, along with some other guards and doctors.

Is this real? Or another mental trip? How much has been fake here? How much of this... have I revealed anything ?

" take her to rest, she will need it" Max voiced.

I don't need more rest, it's all I've done is sleep or go completely unconscious from pain. A chair is wheeled in, fuck no.

I'm tossed into it carelessly as I glance down at my legs, pins are embedded into them from the external fixtator.

Fuck no, please please no.

I try to move them but it's impossible. I'm completely immobilized. The way the pins went through my flesh looked sloppy, like they did this on purpose so I won't heal. The pain is overwhelming, as I start to softly cry.

" we can give you something for the pain in exchange for you helping us" Said a Doctor.

" no" I hissed.

" suit yourself" he sneered as he began pushing me down the hall. A few people staring as I'm pushed. I try to readjust but my hands are not in better shape, the violet bruises blossoming around my wrists.

My teeth are gritted tightly, my jaw is locked. The pain the fucking pain... fists can't clench.

" how the hell do you expect me to work like this anyway?" I hissed half skipping in and out of consciousness.

" is this your way of agreeing to work with us?" Asked Reyes as he appeared in the room I was being wheeled into.

" nie " ( never) I shout half in pain and half in frustration.

Am I forgotten? How long have I been here? Why am I still here?

" stubborn bitch" he grunted as I was lifted onto a metal table, my hands locked to the sides. The room was plain white with nothing in it but the table.

Why are they restraining me? But the pain flares up with the moment and once again the darkness consumes me.

The ticking of a clock woke me up suddenly. A jarring pain in my abdomen as I tried moving, bolted down. My heart feels like a caged animal, pounding to get out. The light nearly blinding against the sensitivity of my eyesight.

" she's awake" growled a you Reyes! What the fuck did I ever do to you? Oh no, I fell in love with your best friend, who also got promoted. You violated numerous codes, you willingly started fights, killed innocent people consistently when carrying out missions. Your weird power trip caused you to be under the microscope. Your actions! Not mine, not Jack's... only you.

The throbbing in my head combined with the light made me feel even more nauseated.

Now he is here in the room with me, with what I believe to be alone. But there have to be cameras. How could he possibly hurt me more? What the hell am I thinking. He knows how to destroy me. There's still a lot of 'chances ' they keep giving to me, are these chances? Or are they not able to control me? The mental is enough alone, they are stepping it up. But what is going on ?

 **A/N: It's been longer than i expected to be away from updating. I'm sorry, i don't really have an excuse besides the usual stuff is still going on and getting rather worse/ hectic. But i won't go too much into that.**

 **Thank you so much to my newest reviewer ayumiiishinozakiii! and the wonderful CyborgNinja777! Seriously. Reviews/messages help remind me to post another chapter. I'm sitting on a few, but debating how to release them/ which point of view works best etc. etc. Take care loves.**


	62. Chapter 62

**A/N: CW/TW: torture, abuse... it's got a lot (if you want a non-trigger version, PLEASE PM me. i'll do my best! )**

" want to talk now?" Sneered Reyes.

I shook my head and attempted to remain stoic, the constant pain and exhaustion was making composure nearly impossible.

I let out a soft whimper as his clawed hand stroked my face.

" such a waste, but it looks like we will have to continue with this game until you cooperate" he growled as he pushed some hair away from my cheek. I tried to avoid his gaze, but I created this.

I'm the real monster...

My eyes closed tightly as I heard the door open.

" Angela, we keep giving you opportunities. We will treat you well here, no restrictions..." voiced max.

" but you keep resisting and we will have to keep punishing you, it's simple. Agree to work with us, and you will be free" he added.

" there is no freedom here" My voice was raspy over my sore vocal chords.

" you would be surprised, if we were given the chance"

" no" I replied. Closing my eyes tightly to avoid seeing the next way of torture.

I felt it, from my toes to my scalp, jolting electrical pain, my eyelids began twitching uncontrollably. How can my legs be moving if they are in the crude casts? A scream escaped my lips as eyelids flew open.

" come on, do you want us to nuke what remains of your friends?" Teased Reyes. I could hear Max sighing in annoyance.

My entire nervous system feels like it's on fire, only pain is my focus, everything else is blacked out. I keep screaming and screaming.

" that's enough" orders max. The machine stops, but my body is still shaking rapidly. I try calming the balloon in my chest but it's so heavy and tight. The almost bursting of my heart rate as I cling to consciousness.

Hot tears flowing freely as I howl out in terror. 'You are weak, you need to stop this shit' is echoing in my head.

" Edwin! Get the hell in here now!" Barked Reyes.

The thudding of footsteps against the concrete as someone breathing heavily enters the room.

" sir?" The voice asks.

" can we turn this machine up anymore? Or?" Questions Max.

Please no, please no.

" yes, but let me check some vital signs first" he smoothly answers. These people are fucking evil. Even during interrogation at overwatch nothing was done this way. Blackwatch is another story...

Catching a glimpse of the man, he resembles someone I used to know. Someone cruel, someone I had a fear of when I would be instructed to check in on blackwatch Medical.

" let me adjust a few things, and it should be ready" he replied.

The sounds of clicking and turning, along with a few whistling noises from the man.

' Edwin... E-...Eeedwin. The name and the face look so familiar ' I mused. This is what should be concentrated on, no matter how painful this next step is, dig into your mind and focus.

" all ready, mind if I stay?" He Asked.

" not at all, she's stubborn but I think you are up to the task, unlike the others" Said Max.

Edwin... Edwin... the zapping began again. Focus your mind. Concentrate.

Every single pain alarm in my system went off, but I focused as hard as I possibly could. Edwin, red hair, scrawny. Always working in interrogation, scientist. Had average marks in school.

My body jolted, I hissed in pain.

He was trouble, eventually had to be put on probation for trying out experimental— fuuuuuuck, my wrists seize up and begin bending painfully. By circulation or by force?

Experimental torture devices... I audibly gasped as my chest began to shudder.

" why isn't this working as well as last time?" Growled Reyes.

" did you lie to us?" Asked Max.

Edwin began sputtering out apologies, and promising that he upped the pressure. He's telling the truth, I'm just...

" she's fighting it, look at her pulse" Edwin stammered.

" then fucking up the machine!" Shouted Reyes.

The clambering of metal and frantic tapping started to invade my psyche.

Slowly the extremes of pain enter my body again, and again and again. Each wave like death, I've been shot, I've been stabbed... I've given birth.

" what was that?" Asked Reyes.

Fuck fuck no! No! Am I speaking outloud ?! Think of anything else. Anything.

'Jack... not that. Not him. Breathe, please focus on breathing. Who is he? How do I remember—'

My thoughts stalled as I screamed.

" that was her pulse jumping, her brain activity is off the charts right now, I've never seen anything like this" exclaimed Edwin excitedly.

Sick fucking asshole. Restrain your screams, focus. You are in control...

It feels like my fingers are being sliced open, pain searing through my body. I'm levitating... floating.

My eyes catch Edwin's, a look of pride and happiness is etched onto his face as my head slammed into the table from my tightened nerves.

The clang echos in my skull...the white lights are burning into my retinas.

This is hell. I'm in hell, my throat vibrates as my mouth begins to foam.

" I'm stopping " Said Edwin.

" NO!" Shouted Reyes.

My eyes are rolling back in my skull.

As an intense pressure pops into my body. I can taste the blood seeping into my mouth as my jaw locks shut.

" you are the doctor" says Max as my body feels lighter.

The whirring stops but I'm still shaking on the table as my restraints cut into my flesh.

This is your chance, focus, remain calm. Close your eyes and focus.

In the darkness I'm welcomed with peace. The fastest I've ever grounded myself.

" what the hell?" Hissed Edwin.

Remain tranquil, my hand twitched.

" can we continue?" Questioned Max.

The hurried movement of feet as they left the room, leaving me in this empty room. My eyes pop open to try and see what exactly they are working with now.

A tray of various syringes, of in many colors, a machine on a cart with various wires coming off of it, and the IV hanging above me. At this point I can't feel in the liquid being forced into my veins is hurting or helping.

My body is full restrained, I can't imagine why my feet would need to be. With the metal rods in my legs it's not like I can move or run.

Why haven't they healed yet? Did my years of filling my body with nanotech meet it's match? Did something happen here? Of course something did it's just what exactly.

The door swings open again, Max returns alone.

" you are causing quite the issues here..." he begins.

I feel a smirk forming, all this constant pain and I'm now feeling stronger. Like the receptor in my brain shut down.

" but just you wait, we have more planned for you" he finished stating before exiting the room.

Despite the brightness of the light, it's probably best I try to rest of my own free will. Conserve strength and wait for my legs to heal, unless they keep breaking them.

Halfway through my nap I hear the rattling of the table full of syringes.

At first I see no one, and then her.

Sombra is standing there carefully replacing the syringes, her brows knitted in concentration.

" what are-" I start to whisper.

" shut up" she angrily hisses back.

Is she actually helping me? Or is this just a strange hallucination. The ones previously on the table are slipped into her bag as she double checks her work. I notice the camera in the corner of the room that she keeps staring at. Surely she blocked the signal, or looped or something.

My brain begins registering pain again, seething, searing unstoppable pain. Scheisse scheisse!

Breathing through clenched teeth as I try to reopen my eyes, but each attempt is more painful than the last one.

Did she or they or someone do something more? Each breath is a struggle as breathing seems to make everything worse.

One, two, three... a soft hiss as I try to not breathe. My lungs are burning with the intense pressure as my ears pop. Nothing is working to ease this pain, I can't give up this information. As much as I don't want to give up on everything I have to keep pushing forward. There's so much good that can be done with my advancements, but that's not what they want. They want chaos, they want payback.

My body rattles with pain as I let out a soft cry, that ruins my breathing patterns, pain on top of pain, anxiety mixed in. Nothing is a solid thought it's all a frantic jumble of pain induced thoughts.

The large door swings open, this fucking constant parade of doors.

Cold hands grabbed my left arm, I could feel needles sink into my flesh as the liquid entered my veins.

The taste of saline cleansed my nose and mouth, a welcoming sensory moment.

" one more chance " Said Max.

I whipped my neck to look at the direction of his voice, my eyes narrowed as I saw Edwin prepping one of the syringes.

I'm fucked.

I'm incredibly fucked.

The liquid was plunged into my IV, I could barely keep my eyes open as my veins felt like ice was entering me.

" you know what Angela? Maybe all your research into super soldiers will pay off " mocked Reyes.

My heart raced as he spoke, each word slowly processing. There's no way in hell he could get ahold of those chemicals. He's just trying to scare you.

" I know you never made us the way we were. But god did you study it... pick it apart little by Little. It's like it opened a twisted door for more experimentation on humans. " he growled.

My arms tensed as I dug my nails into my palms, I could feel my nails rip into flesh.

" easy there" grunted Edwin as he glanced at the machines. I could watch my heart rate increase with each second.

" Reyes it might be better if you left for this" Said Max.

" but I got her for you!" Howled Reyes.

" no, you helped with the planning. WE got her " reprimanded Max.

I could hear the stomping of his boots as he left and the slamming of the door.

" such manners" tsked Max.

" what the hell " i gasped out, my body feeling numb with rage and torment.

" she speaks!" shrieked Edwin with a sickening glee. That voice, i know it...

I slammed my head back against the table, grinding my teeth as the unfathomable pain raced through my body.

" I'm going to sedate her, this next part will take more energy than she currently has" Edwin relayed to Max.

What the fuck are they doing? I have prepared for this, I've built up my resistance. Letting out a long breathe of air before the universe began to grow louder, each breath feeling like a slow drift underwater. The tingling sensation buzzed through each nerve, the chaos softening as the pain increased.

Who knows how much time had passed, same room. No discernible sounds or shadows. The only sound was my hair rustling against the table as my neck twists to each side.

Empty. Just the machine monitoring my vitals, everything was surprisingly normal. The lights glaring down providing the soft hum mixed with the whir of the IV drips.

Did I really see Sombra earlier? Could she have screwed with the vials and prevented something?

Why would he bring up soldier serum? I have done a few studies on its effects in women. Beads of sweat formed on my body. The intense throbbing in my skull started again as my temples began to throb. I feel so overheated and nauseated, they are fucking me up but they are also keeping fluids in me. The table is warm against my skull, not cool like usual.

Glancing over at my signs while my body temperature was gradually rising. This should eventually set off an alarm... but then again I'm being held in some bullshit excuse for a base. Sweat was pooling around my body, feeble attempts at remaining lucid. Ironic if this is how I go...

But my body should be able to fight this, should.

I woke up feeling like a popsicle. Well this is fun, I audibly sighed as I struggled to open my eyes, a layer of crust had formed, sweat, tears and who knows...

The room was dimly lit, as the machines beeping all around. Red glowing eyes staring from the corner.

' great, exactly what I needed'

My fists clenched in the straps, all I have are my fists and I'm defenseless. I'm still alive, but they mentioned they don't want me dead. Reyes Just wants me dead, they wouldn't leave me alone with him.

I glanced back over, a wave of euphoria. My vision mistook a machine for eyes, I would laugh if my pain levels weren't excruciating.

There's no theory I have in my mind, I'm healing from other things but my legs are still fully in the external fixtator. The bones should have healed by now, unless they aren't monitoring anything besides my heart rate, temperature and whatever I'm doing.

They are trying to control me, break me down like Amélie. Terrify me into submission. She wasn't trained to go through everything she did, I've been surviving by sheer will.

I don't know how much longer I can hold onto my sanity here. My jaw tightened as another jolt of pain targeted my body. There's only so much more I can handle. Where the fuck are they?!

A soft wailing noise came from my throat. This is hell, this is sheer and utter hell. It's only going to increase and I'm only going to be experimented on more. Instead of surrendering to them they are trying my own things on me. Or attempting it.

This floating in and out of reality, this constant pain... my joints feel stiff and atrophied. A searing jolt of pain tears through my abdomen as nausea riddled my head. The majority of my body shaking as I swallow bile. The beeping on the machines getting louder as my heart rate increases, shooting up blood pressure.

A scream soars out of my mouth as I sob as loud if not louder. I see Reyes , or do I? is this just my mind... my heart begins racing, I need to escape... i'm trying to push myself up but the straps across my chest preventing it momentarily before releasing. How the hell!? I yank my arm and it breaks from the cuff holding it down as I roll my torso to the side. I just broke the cuffs of restraint!

The doors flew open as Reyes, Edwin and Max storm in.

" she's awake" says Edwin with a slight smile.

My bruised wrists pushed my body up, legs still seemingly broken. I couldn't break through these earlier, why now?

" you shouldn't strain yourself" Edwin goaded as he tried to push me back down, but I fought it. Locking my wrists in place and resisting.

" let her stay up, you can begin on her back better this way" Said Max.

My torso turned as I saw what I was laying on. Skin stuck to the table, some of it just torn apart and laying there. Now that seems like overkill. Gluing someone to a table is straight out of a horror movie, and I don't feel it.

A tap of his metal hand onto the IV pole showed morphine. Ah... but still. I don't feel out of it. I feel completely awake for the most part. Excruciatingly awake, just a few moments ago I was writhing in pain, now I'm staring at a portion of my flesh on the table.

" you should probably be worried about that" gleamed Edwin as he moved to patch up my back. I feel completely numb. The buzzing of the florescent lights and just an eerie calmness. I turn back to Max and Reyes while Edwin fussed with my back and the machines.

" you are proving to be harder to crack than Amélie... but that will just make this all more worthwhile " stated Max.

Why is he bothering to tell me this? Some sort of backhanded compliment about my mental capacity compared to an untrained civilian.

The lights flickered more, the room temporarily going black. I let out a scream as I felt hands squeeze around my neck. The vibrations of my head hitting the table, but I feel calm; like the end of a anxiety attack. My fingers are buzzing as I sink them into the flesh of whomever is restraining me. I can slightly feel liquid coating my fingertips as their grip loosens on my neck.

A sharp howl in the darkness, pain makes for odd noises. I release my nails from their flesh, with no current visible threat I relax in the darkness. My first taste of it in who knows how long? This feels like a fever dream.

As my eyes slowly focus in and out I see blood all over my body. Trailing from my hands and down.

I barely feel the weight of the body hovering above... I...

" congratulations Edwin..." Reyes laughs as the soft gurgle is above me.

My nails still embedded into the man's neck as blood spills onto me. A weird sensation in my hands, as i feel the inner workings of his throat.

Reyes comes back into focus as he pulls Edwin off of me, his body slumps to the floor.

"can't believe that fucking worked!" was the last thing i heard before i passed out.

 **A/N: Uhm.**

 **Let me just say one thing, i started writing a lot of this back in 2016, since then a ton of new lore came out, and i already had a plan of where i was going with this, and already posted a bunch of chapters, unfortunately that means my original attempt at following at least some semblance of canonical order was... well... messed up. There was no way to casually add in "new" characters from the lore without it sounding completely forced. So i apologize for that, and i'm probably not going to add any of the new characters (Brigitte doesn't count, because we knew of her existence before she was made into a playable character)**

 **I love you all, and thank you for continuing the reading of this!**

 **Special shoutout to CyborgNinja777 and of course L0rdoftheMemes**


	63. Chapter 63

" that's impossible" grunted Winston as he began to scramble to the keyboard.

" could it be a trap?" Asked Jesse as he flopped onto the bed, Lena glanced at him with concern for a moment before looking back at Winston.

" I feel that would almost be too clever for them to do, why bother going all the way out there just to contact the old recall communication? " Winston exclaimed, but he paused his typing and frowned.

He's not made to lead and he knows this, his excitable behavior can be considered reckless. It's not like I'm any better now, I'm just reckless in another way.

" I see it two ways: if you answer or receive the message it could be a ploy to find our location.

Two, there could be survivors... from nine years ago" The second that thought left my mouth it sounded more outlandish.

" cryostasis" Lena said softly, Winston and I turned to her, the distant and anxious look shadowed her face.

" that's possible, but we would have been alerted of those when they shut down" I stated.

" you know for a fact that there was no way they could have survived?" Asked Lena.

My thumb grazed my temple, the blizzard, a supposed avalanche and collapse of the building was well known. We searched with drones but absolutely no signal of the place. Angela was devastated, along with Lena. Hell... we all were. But there wasn't much we could have done at that point. We asked for more funding to search but had nothing to back up the slim to none chances.

" well this just adds to the mystery" Jesse snarled, his hand was gently rubbing Lena's back.

" and we already have so much on our hands, if we had any more people or resources... or something" grunted Winston.

" speaking of which, who exactly did you send the recall too?" Asked Lena.

Winston began anxiously fiddling with his glasses.

" oh you didn't..." gasped Lena.

This was my own fault too, I finally had a reason to discretely follow Angela closer, that Ana and I didn't fully do our research besides making sure none of us were tracked.

" it wasn't everyone, and I didn't give out my location at the time except to all of you. You all were the only ones to respond " Winston argued.

" is Ecopoint just using the old Overwatch channel that is funneled into your recall channel? Or was it the actual recall channel?" I asked.

" the Overwatch channel... " stated Winston.

I nodded and Lena cleared her throat for a moment.

" when we were scrambling to leave, ya know, when everything went to absolute rubbish. Winston reminded a select few of us to keep our old Overwatch emergency things on us... it was secure" she mumbled.

I never knew that, I knew what Ana told me, but she kept it somewhat vague. It wasn't my business at that point and I was a complete mess. But As Angela would tell me, anyone would be.

" I feel terrible just ignoring it..." Said Winston, once again fidgeting with his glasses.

" if you want to check it, I would advise asking Genji to trek a few miles away, that way if it is the Ecopoint, all will be well. And if it isn't we will have a head start on getting out" I answered after a few minutes of overthinking.

" I'll go" Said Winston.

" alright, that's your choice" I stated while turning back to the screens.

" if we have to move again I swear..." started Jesse but a swift Lena smack to the ribs stopped him from continuing.

" I'll go as far as I can" Winston replied as he stuffed the device into his pocket.

I buried my face in my hands for the moment that he opened and closed the doors.

" I mean, I woulda gone, and I'm faster but he can kinda cover more ground than I currently can" said Lena.

It would have been more of a calculated hassle for her, accidentally blinking off cliffs only to recall her position, over and over. She's already done that a billion too many times. I just nodded and drank the coffee.

Every image seemingly blurred together, nothing new or interesting happening. I would have more intrigue watching paint dry. The fact that somewhere they have Angela is just making the monotony unbearable. Even with our small team, minus Reinhardt we stand little to no chance.

" so, what're we gonna do about all this?" Grunted Jesse as he lit another cigar.

" I'm trying to not let my emotions get in the way of judgement calls. But it's damn hard" I confided.

A soft pat on my shoulder from Lena as she smiled weakly.

" believe me, I want to just charge in, but the uncertainty of where she is would be foolish. If I didn't have John. I probably would..."

I added. Fuck was I slipped truth serum or some shit?

"Yeah. I'll reckon kids'll do that to you" Said Jesse.

" never really stopped most of them, but Angela would kill me" alright drink some coffee and relax your mouth from all this feelings shit. In reality it just made me more tense. The more time that passes on the clock is making the situation worse.

" you don't think they'll turn her into Amélie do you?" Said Lena barely above a whisper.

" it's Talon" grunted Jesse.

" she has some antidotes she's tested out, so if worse comes to worse we can reverse it" was my knee jerk reply.

I know what absolute damage it would do to her, if her mind is altered in any way she would become a complete mess upon returning to reality.

" but that would destroy her" she uttered into her coffee cup.

I nodded, slowly turning back to the computers and letting out a slow sigh.

I just want her back, unharmed in any way. But that's not likely, chances are she's suffering in some way. They need the information out of her and despite all her training... she's still a pacifist. The beautiful, charming, highly intelligent woman that she is, only has so much she can handle. Or what anyone can handle for that matter. I never got the chance to fully absorb and understand what she was doing to her body, besides making her resilient to most things. But mentally? That's a whole other subject...

" what's that?" Blurted out Lena.

Fuck.

My eyes focused on the screens, more movement on the south base.

" I'm beginning to change my mind on that one. They wouldn't be doing this if they had her there... even for them it's too obvious" I mused.

" can't obvious also be the trick? To appear like everything is normal and running to actually deter us from thinking that?" Questioned Lena.

" in my experience, no. This would be a risky maneuver that would cost them more in the long run" I sighed and cracked my knuckles.

Talon is a growing force, and it's only gotten more powerful. The only encouraging thing is how long Overwatch pursued them, and knowing how Reyes works. It's not much of a foot up, but it's something.

Hours passed, nothing new but my growing agitation. Winston still wasn't back, he would call if he needed help. We'd also be notified if he was taken out or spotted, thanks to old tech. We are working with bare bones. Like a small resistance army.

A soft knock at the door almost made me leap from the chair. Instead I quickly stood behind the door while Lena answered.

" the little one woke up, and I wanted to refill any mugs and offer food if you feel like eating. I have some baked goods" came Ingrid's kind voice.

Lena glanced over at me and I shook my head.

" ah, I think we're alright! Thank you!" She chirped.

" speak for yourselves!" Said Jesse as he stood up and left the room, closing the door behind him. I could hear John's little footsteps and excitement as he greeted Jesse.

Well, he's safe for the day with Jesse. He's not much of a planner, but he's excellent at following orders... for the most part. Even better at reporting missions. The deadlock gang was lucky to have had him...

My eyes still focused on the feeds coming in. Fuck Talon. Fuck them for constantly being a threat. Terrorizing so many, destroying and taking away so many lives. If given a proper fighting chance Overwatch could have taken them down. My fingers dig into my temples, the more I stare the more unconvinced I am of where they have taken her.

We have footage of what we believe took her, of their drop-ship. But they easily could have used it at multiple locations.

The door kicked open as Jesse came in carrying a plate full of muffins and bacon. I smirked as he flopped back onto the bed and began shoveling the food into his face.

Lena dangled a piece of bacon in front of my eyes.

" ya gotta eat..." she mused while waving it back and forth. I grabbed it from her, mostly to stop the distraction in my eyeline. But the delicious crunch of it had me sold.

" fine, you win" I mumbled through the crunching.

" knew I could" she said as she handed me another piece.

"John was practically inhaling food, even I was put to shame" Said Jesse.

I snorted " that's my kid".

" like there was any doubt" teased Lena.

Kind of her, but that's also a stress inducing comment. There's no doubt at all that he's mine. Thankfully not taken by Talon... which is amazing in itself. Another point for Sombra, since they knew there was a kid when they attacked the safe house so long ago. Besides the dead soldiers, I'm not sure anyone actually saw him. But there would supposedly be body cams...

" when do ya think Winston'll be back?" Asked Lena.

" he probably went out pretty far" I replied as she tried to hand me a muffin.

I shook my head and instead finished my cup of coffee, instinctively she grabbed it and dashed off.

Within a minute she was back with a fresh cup and a half smile as she handed it to me.

" John's still eating, but Brigitte and Fareeha are looking rather cozy" she chirped. Thank goodness for Lena trying to keep the situation slightly less terrible. They had grown up together in a way. Sure at different bases the majority of the time but it's still not much of a surprise to me.

" thank you Lena " i said to her as the screens began to blur together again.

" just trying to keep things... well you know. Less—"

" horrible?" Finished Jesse.

" well I wasn't gonna say it that way!" Sighed Lena.

" it's alright, I think we all know how fucked up everything is right now" I grunted.

If only we could get some drones or something into the area. Ideally a team of people, but that is not happening in our numbers. My hands racked through my hair again.

A crashing noise caused Lena to jump, Jesse spun his gun around.

" just me" shouted Winston as he flung open the door. Quickly slamming it behind him, breathless as he stared at us.

Immediately my mind went to relocating again, wasting even more time. Moving Brigitte and Ingrid as well.

" well spit it out" Jesse said with annoyance.

Winston shook his head and slumped down.

" bad news?! " whimpered Lena.

" well, it's—-" he panted for a moment

" it's not all bad"

" do we have to relocate?" I asked, Winston shook his head and half smiled.

" Mei is alive" he said with elation.

" what?! How!?" Shrieked Lena as she bounced.

" cryogenic pods, but unfortunately... well. The rest didn't make it. It was just a recording. She's making her way across Antarctica.

Considering we though the entire unit was lost, one survivor and a super talented one at that was still alive.

" so what are we supposed to do about this?" Asked Jesse.

" well, I figured we could go get her" Said Winston with hopefulness in his voice.

Fuck this, we have too much on our plates already. Flying out there would mean more wasted time. Who knows how it was received...

Lena placed her hand on my shoulder " something wrong?"

" we can't waste anymore time!" I growled.

" but she's—" started Winston.

" we cannot risk it, obviously she needs help; she can easily get it elsewhere" I replied with more frustration in my voice than I wanted to express.

" but she's one of us" Argued Winston.

" I know that, but consider this. We are leaving to fly out and search for her. That could expose us, and put us in a worse position " I countered.

" he's right" Jesse states while looking at Winston.

The look of absolute defeat on his face showed.

" look, I know, no one is left behind we don't do that. But we are supremely depleted on supplies and people. If we can find another way, sure " I sighed while staring at the group.

Lena was twisting her hands before a small smile popped onto her face.

" wasn't Hana a fan of Mei's?" She said.

" uh, I didn't really follow Hana" I answered.

Lena's face scrunched as she began typing furiously.

" yep! She was a huge fan, devastated when the avalanche happened... awww lookit! A picture of her as a kid wearing a ' weather is cool' shirt!" Lena giggled.

" if I remember correctly... didn't you and Ange wear those as well?" Teased Jesse. Lena crumbled and smacked his back.

I'm glad they can some form of laughter right now, this is just a bit of a predicament.

" now, look! If we tell Hana, she can fly out to her, bring her back. Once we get a plan in place we have a better chance. Because we know Lucio and Hana want to help us get Angie, so that's three more " Said Lena.

Winston looked over at me expectantly.

" whatever works for all of you" I state while staring more intently at the screens.

" alright! I'll make the call to them. Winston do you have any idea of her travel path?" Lena mused.

While they formulated a plan I focused on the current situation at large. That could take some time, pushing back this rescue attempt further. The thudding noise echoed in my head as more anxiety swallowed my thoughts. I already mourned the lost at Eco point, we already had services and dealt with the loss. It was devastating, but not something completely surprising. They knew the risks they took before heading out there. It was their job, it was also during an incredibly stressful time. I should be celebrating with the small group we have assembled but I cannot. I can be happy that at least Mei survived, but there's too much for too few to handle.

" alright! I'll be back in a sec! Just gonna get far enough out there! Make the call and come back!" Lena chirped.

I nodded, still fully absorbed in the screens. Winston plunked down next to me and began fiddling with some of the cameras. With the second set of eyes I could rest mine for a few, as I ran my fingers around my temples.

Who knows how much time had passed, Lena was bouncing back into the room, grin plastered onto her face as she flung herself onto the bed.

" good news?" Asked Jesse.

" they are heading out later today! Taking one of their more incognito ships, but it'll get the job done. 'Specially with no one really following them. She's just gonna play it off if anyone follows her. But it'll work" Said Lena.

" Play it off how?" I caught myself saying.

" ya know! ' just happened to see someone while heading to see penguins ' or somethin' " Lena replied.

I snorted and turned back to the fresh cup of coffee Jesse brought in some time ago. I guess it's not fresh... it's fresher. At least it's not like Angela's coffee habit. She can drink... she's not here. Stop romanticizing her memory constantly. The years in hiding didn't always have tabs on her. The hardest years of my life. This is just like that.

" well what do you think?" Asked Winston.

" what?" I snapped.

" we're just askin' about the plan" Jesse defended.

" which one?"

" the one about Mei... have ya not been payin proper attention commander ?" Lena teased for a moment. My shoulders stiffened, as my hands almost broke the mug I was holding.

Inhale, focus... she meant no malice or anything by that. It's a difficult situation, she deals with it in humor.

" everything alright?" Her voice softened. Great now she's pandering to me or pitying. I cannot decide which is worse.

" I'm not your commander. Whatever plan you have in place should be fine, I'm going to check on Ana " I replied, almost surprising myself.

" uh, it's pretty light out, you are still THE soldier 76. Ya know. Wanted vigilante. " Said Lena softly.

Now that, was also frustrating. I'm losing track of time. It should start getting dark again soon. I can thank global warming or something for this.

I nodded, glancing at the time stamps on the footage started to sit uneasily with me.

" are you backing up all of this?" I asked.

" most of it" Winston answered.

" most? What is being cut?" I replied trying to not sound as frustrated as I am. It's either all or nothing.

" well uh... it's cutting all the footage without movement. Now birds and things can set off movement so we can have more—" started Winston but he stopped, probably because my face was expressing all the emotion i couldn't in regards to this situation.

" there's absolutely no backup? No safety window on the systems? On their systems? Anything..." my voice riddled with frustration.

I could hear Jesse and Lena try to remain silent during this interaction but It wasn't going too well.

" it's just satellite images mostly, but I uh, can see what I can do" stammered Winston.

" thank you" i voiced with hopefully a tinge of gratitude.

" did you notice something?" Asked Jesse.

" I'm just staring at the screen, so is Winston but there's always room for error, one wrong turn in the chair and we miss something " I replied, something was gnawing on the corners of my mind.

" makes sense. I'll do better in the future" Said Winston as he began to type away.

I should probably see how John is doing. I'm certain he's doing perfectly fine with Fareeha or Ingrid... or whomever is watching him now.

" uh, I'm going to check on John for a bit then " I said.

" oh I can!" Said Lena with a grin.

" thanks" I replied as I sat back down and she scurried off.

If I'm being honest with myself, he's a lot to handle right now. I see why Angela... her reason was safety. Mine is a mixture of safety and just looking at him depresses me. That's horrible to even think of. But he's our son, and his worry about Angela only adds to my guilt. Now the guilt of not wanting to see him is just more of an issue.

After a bit Winston left in search of snacks, Jesse was just fidgeting in the chair next to me.

" alright. Fine. I'll say it" started Jesse with a tone of apprehension.

I cocked my eyebrow at him and waited for him to continue while he played with his hat out of anxiousness.

" I don't blame you for shit. We all know he was unhinged. Sure it sucks that you went into hiding, I'm not gonna sugarcoat that. But if I was in your situation I'd reckon I woulda done the same, and I felt that needed saying, on a count of me not being the most welcoming" He then lit his cigar and leaned back.

" thanks" was all I could muster. It was nice of him to say all of that.

" and another thing... when'd your hair go white?" He said with a Sly grin.

" the minute I knew I would have to deal with you again" I quipped.

The chair he was rocking back on slammed it's legs onto the floor as he stared for a moment before bursting into laughter.

" goddamn it Jack!" He said while exhaling and choking back a laugh.

A small twitch of a smile skimmed my mouth for a moment. The screens reminding me of the severity of other matters as my smile immediately faded.

" sorry about all this" Jesse mumbled.

" it's my fault, I got cocky" I replied as Jesse began sputtering on words.

" don't say it wasn't. If there's one thing I know, it's when I'm at fault" I grunted.

Jesse grimaced and growled out " we thought we had him, accidents happen!"

" not like that, now Reinhardt is in bad shape. It seems his only hope would be Angela. Or the nanites in his system combined with whatever Ana is doing. He would still be in good health if Angela was here!" I barked.

Jesse leaned forward, a sharp stare at me as he found the words he was looking for.

" Reyes is tricky, she was surrounded by temple walls and monks... it was one of the safest places. Sanctuary and all that. But she was taken, she could have been taken regardless and with far more casualties. She woulda been horrified. You know her, you know what she would want. John is safe; that's what matters. Soon she'll be alright too. " he blew out a cloud of smoke as he leaned back in the wooden chair, the groan of the wood as he balanced on the back legs again.

He does have a point, he leaned over and poured some more coffee from the pot into my cup.

" it's a shame to think we only used you in Blackwatch for so long" i mused out loud.

He laughed for a moment and tipped his hat.

" ah, it helped me in a lotta ways. No regrets. Just well... what I witnessed there. But without that you woulda lacked a certain star witness!" He joked.

My eyes rolled as I let out a genuine laugh. Normally talking about this would have been an anxiety attack,but it's a nice break, and it's something Angela would have told me a million times. Somehow hearing it from this cowboy was what I needed, despite how ridiculous.

" I know how this shit works, bein' an outlaw and all" he won't stop will he? Corny jokes are my thing.

" I'll ease up, just figured you could use my personal opinion on these situations" he drawled out as he exhaled.

I just shook my head, nothing was happening on the screen.

" reckon you should take a break for a bit. I know you'll want to be awake when Lucio and Hana have news.

I can't argue, shifts usually work and for this I'm thankful. I nodded in thanks and attached the mask back on.

As I exited the room and headed towards the room we were staying in, I heard her angelic voice. Please don't tell me I'm going crazy, I couldn't make out what she was saying from behind the door. I gently pushed it open, only to find John and Lena perched on the bed holding the Holopad.

Well, at least I'm not completely losing it.

" daddy! " Squeaked John. I quickly removed my mask and joined the duo.

" Lena's showing me Mommy!" John exclaimed.

" I see that" I replied as I felt my chest ache. Lena's eyes were watery, Angela was speaking about the importance of peace during times of opposition, she was supposed to be staying on target of the dangerous virus happening at the time. But found a segway into peace. The riots for proper medical care during that time was heavy.

" look it's you!" Squeaked John as I took over the microphone once she finished. We kept a professional relationship in the public eye. But there's that tiny smirk I have as I spoke and glanced over at her and remarking her tenacity for always wanting to remain peaceful.

What hurt the most was the little smile and glance back as she lightly laughed. It was so soft you could barely hear it.

" How many of these have you watched?" I asked.

" only this one" said John.

" well yeah but when it's ten times!" Quipped Lena.

John flung a pillow at her, then suddenly stopped and burst into sobs.

" what...?" I questioned along with Lena.

" Mommy and I did this before" he whined.

" it's okay, it's okay. " I soothed.

" you want to watch it again?" Asked Lena trying to force out a smile.

John nodded as he sniffled, carefully tucking himself under my arm as he held the pad.

" alright, I'll go check on Jesse" Lena said as she jumped towards the door after giving John a pat on his head. The door clicked closed with a loud creak.

Such simpler times, this is just making things worse for me, but it's helping him. I'm not going to deny him what is comforting.

The moment I realized John was asleep I turned off the video, her face was off the screen, but not out of my mind. I let myself get more comfortable as I dozed off for a bit.

For once I slept rather soundly, maybe the video , in spite of filling my mind with anguish also brought some peace. Soon we will have Mei back in our group along with Lucio and Hana. Small numbers but a start, a pitiful start... someone had to come back from the dead for our numbers to grow.

The frustration of the entire situation increased my breathing, making John blearily look up at me.

" it's fine kid, get some rest" i soothed. Luckily he did fall back asleep in a short span of time. A few shifts in his position before completely out.

There's no way to feel about this entire situation, besides lost. It's been two days since she was taken. Almost three. There's no progress except for a ghost coming back to life. These things take time, but it's already been enough time.

It was late at night when we heard from Hana and Lucio. Lena and I were sitting in the 'control room' as we named it. Three days without Angela...

Mei was thrilled to be in contact with humans again, apparently she had been building a new ice gun to help get her to the tower. Wandered in the frozen arctic until Hana and Lucio spotted her. Some good news upped the morale of our group as we focused on our next mission. Retrieving Angela with our small crew, Ana and Fareeha debating taking Reinhardt for medical care under a code name was floating around.

I was arguing against it as it would expose our current location unless they left for a neighboring country to take him, request amnesty and hope nothing would come of it. But that's still speculation. He's not doing better but he's not getting worse.

Lena was discussing it when she blurted out using Angela's technology on him.

" it only works with her and her cells alone, also it's voice activated on top of it all, she was very clear about all of this so it wouldn't fall into the wrong hands" I replied.

" but... John has part of her DNA. Couldn't he try?" She mused, her hair hung over her slightly watery eyes.

I could feel my forehead crinkling with thought.

" that almost does sound possible, if we tweaked it a bit" Said Winston.

" meddling with her staff is something we shouldn't do" I replied.

" but Torbjorn could" Said Lena in wonderment at her own revelation.

" you are also asking my son to try to revive someone... Angela was clear on a few things and that just doesn't sound like something she would write off on" I answered.

" but Angela also wouldn't want her friend to die knowing that it was preventable had she been here!" Barked Lena, her eyes suddenly widened as she began sputtering apologies to the now silent room.

" you do realize how absolutely unethical this would be? Let alone to let a child do it? What if it fails and he feels like he killed Reinhardt?" I said into the quiet room.

" I think we should still try it" mumbled Winston.

I tried to contain my absolute frustration at this idea. It's risky, it's tampering with her things, involving our son into it all... but it could save Reinhardt and our asses from discovery.

" why don't we just run it by him? " Said Lena.

" I'm certain Reinhardt of all people would be against it" I said.

Lena sighed as she tossed herself off the bed for a moment before blinking out of the room.

I could really feel the effects of being over stressed and exhaustion.

The screens flickered for a moment, Winston barely batted his eyes at it.

" why is it doing that?" I asked.

" strong winds out there, nothing to be alarmed about" Winston answered.

" you are certain of this?"

" would I lie about something like this?" Winston grunted.

I pursed my lips and peered at the screens, the occasional flicker reminding me that this mundane footage was changing.

The idea of John using Angela's tech is still mulling around my mind. How could they even say these things? Altering any of it is not only risky and dangerous, it implies she won't be able too anymore. That thought makes my entire body feel colder. These ideas everyone just rushes ahead with, without thinking of how this would make John feel. Hopeless if he failed, he's a child... our child.

I need to calm this urge to lash out at everyone. I can't even begin to discuss this with Ana, that would cause more guilt. Maybe by now it's dark enough to check in?

I turned to Winston, he was slowly eating peanut butter and staring at the feed, exhaustion written on his face.

" you should get some rest" I stated.

" oh uh me? I'm fine, I was just thinking about everything. No need to be concerned. If anyone needs another break it's you" Winston replied almost too cheerfully.

" I was thinking about checking on Ana " I cautiously replied.

" go ahead, it's dark enough. Just check with errrr. I think Genji is on perimeter watch... Maybe? It's been awhile since I checked in on them"

I nodded, standing and stretching for a brief moment. Fastening my mask on and pausing to notice the amount of cups strewn about brought up memories of Angela's office. The amount of mugs she would get for the holidays, her cheerful laugh as her cheeks would flush for a moment, chastising her own disordered chaotic lifestyle. Being a soldier made me naturally neat, being messy is supposed to be a sign of genius I would remind her, while scooping up some stray cups. The shy and grateful smile that would slowly fill her face.

" you alright?" Winston asked, breaking my thoughts.

" fine... I was—" I started before noticing I had a bunch of handles looped around my fingers.

" me too" Winston said with a knowing nod.

" I'll be back, then you get to rest" I grunted, not wanting to get into it further.

Carefully closing the door with my foot as I walked into the kitchen. Ingrid was bustling around, barely noticing me finding out the contents of the cups and gently placing them onto the drying rack. The mundane task bringing a few minutes of normalcy.

" so, how did my husband get involved with a vigilante ? Or is it better I don't ask?" Ingrid said.

" it's Torbjörn " I simply said, a smile grew on her lips as she laughed for a moment.

" I figured I should know better than to ask" she said as she brushed a stray bit of her blonde hair behind her ear and returned to baking something.

I took this as my cue that it was safe to leave, staying around this area just depressed me. The chill in the air was apparent despite all these layers I wear.

I saw Genji's glowing green visor blink on and off for a moment as he gave me a quick nod. That is a blessing, I have nothing to say to him, or anyone right now. Nightfall only means another day without her, and I need to talk to the one other person who can sort through this while she's gone.

 **A/N: Sorry for the delay! But here's some of Jack's stuff, i know it can get repetitive, i apologize for that! But it's slightly important! i just had to find a good spotting point, because this chapter was almost 3x the length of typical one of mine. But i halved it, so hopefully i will edit the other portion more hastily than usual!**

 **Thank you so much to all who are still reading this, especially my loves : L0rdofTheMemes, CyborgNinja777 and the lovely ayumiiishinozakiii ! You all inspire me so much to continue writing! to those who wish to remain silent, i love you all too! just seeing the little "reading" count go up makes me feel better! Have a lovely day!**


	64. Chapter 64

The crunching of the snow under my boots, the stillness of the remote Little cabin in the woods. The incline slopes as the terrain changes towards the Little caves.

Finally I made it to the orca. The doors slowly opened as Ana popped outside, I could see Reinhardt sleeping on the table. In the corner Fareeha was sweetly snuggled with Brigitte, a smile creeped on my face a brief moment as the doors closed.

Ana let out a soft grunt as she motioned for me to follow her deeper into the cave, until we arrived at what looked like a makeshift Little workshop.

" Brigitte wanted a place of her own" Said Ana without missing a beat.

" can't say I blame her" I said stuffing my hands into my pockets as I asked how Reinhardt was.

" same as before, not getting better, occasionally getting worse then stabilizing, it's been... difficult to say the least" Ana confessed.

" I can partially imagine, I don't know what to do" I stated. Anyone else other than her and Angela and I wouldn't have been so blunt.

" well, just do what you think is right then. I'm sorry about the lack of information" Ana gently said, her eye glancing down briefly.

" this is the first time we've actually lost her, for days..." my voice cracked, I always had my ways of finding her, making sure she was safe from afar.

" I know, I trust we will find her, we just have to be patient. In the meantime, I really need to take him somewhere. I have him as comfortable as possible. But—-"now her voice broke off, her mouth twitches into a frown as she breaks down for a moment.

" if that's what you want" I answered, despite my apprehensions.

She shook her head and cleared her throat before muttering.

" I figured you would be the one to speak some sense about this idea".

A smirk registered for a moment on my face, hidden from her.

" your right, but I'm not completely against the idea, I obviously want him to recover and get the best care... well the second to best care, it's a risk that will probably need to be taken. "

" much better" she replied.

" yeah... well. I'm either sugarcoating or honest. It's your call" I stated.

" thank you, now what is bothering you? I could use the distraction" she paused for a moment before her head shook " besides the obvious".

Leaning my back against the wall I shrugged.

" we are all too old for this" she mumbled before cracking a smile.

" yeah, and they are all so optimistic. "

" we need that"

" not with the ideas they are having" I grunted.

" what kind of ideas?" Asked Ana.

" they want John to use Angela's caduceus"

Ana's eyebrows shot up as she let out a long sharp exhale, softly swearing under her breath.

" he's a child" she said after a moment. " besides that, Reinhardt would never allow it" her voice was bitter as her hands rested on her hips, shaking her head again in disagreement.

" alright. Well here's another thought. We aren't going to be able to invade wherever they are holding her. There's too many guards. There's just too much at stake. If I turn myself into the proper authorities I may be able to beg for assistance"

" what" was all she uttered.

" I'm running low on ideas " I said.

" clearly. It's one thing to surrender Reinhardt to a hospital. He'll face a small legal bit. But technically he is retired, Jack... go get some sleep. Please, do you need me to give you your medication?" Ana said the last part with concern.

" shit, you are probably right" I said.

" well, I clearly know best, let me grab it for you" she said without a pause as she dashed off.

I slipped off my jacket and rolled up my sleeve. Ana isn't the best at administering medication, Angela had the most gentle touch of any doctor I've ever come in contact with. She would try not to speak poorly of other doctors, but she always had to have a hand in everything. Nothing was ever quite up to her standards.

Ana returned, one hand swiped my arm with a sterilizing pad then immediately stabbing me with the needle. I winced and uttered a few choice words as she smirked.

" I take it you are just putting on a show for me?" She said.

Rotating my shoulder I glared at her through the mask.

" I'll take it you are thrilled with my specialized care"

" yep, that's exactly it" I quipped while putting my jacket back on.

" back to more serious matters, I think we will move him tomorrow night, unless we hear any other news, he's probably going to protest it, well. Not that he can. But in spirit he will be " Said Ana with a sigh.

" agreed"

" in the meantime, please get some rest" she said as she walked off.

I could feel my body relaxing under the medicine as I began the walk back. Fuck. I swear if Ana added something to this, I nodded at Genji, sure he blended into the tree line well but for some reason he was vividly there. Just like she was, standing in the doorway as I dealt with the incline.

Wearing a fluffy white coat she had borrowed from Ingrid, smile beaming on her face. I felt a cold hand steady me.

"Come on, i will get you inside" Genji's voice reassured me, his visor bumped under my arm as he hoisted me up.

In some amount of time I was laying in bed with him anxiously standing nearby.

" are you alright?" He asked after a moment. " I didn't see any injuries, nor is anyone in the immediate area... "

"Ana" I grunted.

" I can get her-"

" no, Ana , medication. " I said as I stared up at the ceiling.

" do you need anything?" He asked.

I let out a sigh, We both know who I need.

" besides, well...Do you want me to stay here for a bit? Or I can get someone"

Either I'm feeling very open or this medication is fucking me up but I started to just ramble, words hardly stringing together to form sentences about failure. Missing Angela... loss.

He just stood there calmly, nodding his head. Out of the corner of my eye I could see him removing his mask. The scared face peering over at me, his face matching how I feel.

I could hear him pulling over one of the carved chairs and promptly sitting in it.

" if there's one thing I'm certain of, it's how strong she is" I stated.

" she is very strong, probably stronger than both of us combined in spirit. Putting up with everything she has..." the pause hung in the air.

" in those years we livid together she surpassed most training in meditation. If there's such a thing as strength in that. I believe it will guide her through whatever comes her way. Not to mention her stubbornness"

I almost let out a laugh, but with how my mind is racing it came out more like a garbled noise.

"God is she ever"

" dealing with you for so many years probably didn't help" he taunted for a second before the smile wore off.

" or me... she forgave me so quickly. But it took me so long to... accept everything. She would forgive so readily, I know inside her is turmoil, and Reyes will push that. But if I didn't break her, on top of everything else. I believe she will be fine. "

It was refreshing to hear this side of Genji. He went from playboy to bitter and vengeful cyborg to monk. That journey alone would make her sympathetic.

" I am sorry " softly left his mouth.

I shook my head again, before looking over at his face, the distant look as if apologizing to a ghost. Something I would do whenever I would follow Angela, seeing her cry, or struggle. Knowing if I just...

" I've lost so much time with her..." my words left my mouth before I realized it.

" so we will retrieve her"

" how, we don't even know where she is"

" you just wait too long. You know where she is, you've always had very refined intuition. You just need to sleep on it. Clear your mind and focus on the task at hand. Focus on her, don't let a shred of doubt cross into your mind... think"

My brows furrowed under my mask.

" concentrate" he expressed.

The bases are too crowded, that just doesn't seem...

It doesn't seem right. Have we been looking in the wrong places this entire time? She's top priority to them to carry out more plans. Why would they hold her at a normal base?

The more I relaxed the more talon became spread out in my mind, no longer a tangled mess.

" very good" whispered Genji as I drifted off.

It became very clear, every piece settled into place, Max.

I woke up kicking blankets off as Lena shrieked.

" calm down it's not like I'm naked" I growled.

" yeh, I know that! Ya just startled me" she exclaimed while looking at me with wide eyes.

Even my mask was still on, fuck I must have slept like a fucking rock. I looked at the clock in confusion.

" how long?"

" around 18 hours " Lena replied.

" and no one tried to wake me?!" I barked.

" would you wake yourself from a sleep like that?!"

I grunted as I moved towards the door, still feeling slightly unbalanced.

" steady on!" Lena Squeaked while rushing to my side

" I'm fine" I retorted.

Her brown eyes full of concern tried peering into the mask, I brushed her off and made my way to Winston.

He was hunched over the desk, studying the footage as well as he could.

" pull up the casino footage" I mumbled as I slumped into the chair next to him.

" hello to you too!" He replied as he began typing.

" any reason why?"

" just a theory" I answered.

" alright, they have security pretty tight there... I'm not finding any camera feeds" he sighed.

How was I so stupid to not think of this place at the start? Before any logical thought kicked in I stood up and began walking out of the room, leaving Winston there.

First thing, I need to find out why the hell Ana drugged me. Second... get the hell out to that casino.

As I moved towards the front door a small pair of arms gripped onto my legs.

" daddy!" Shrieked John.

" hey kid" I replied as I bent down trying to pry him off my legs.

" what are we... can we play in the snow?" He asked.

My jaw locked into place, firstly it's late, he shouldn't be up... or this full of energy. But I wasn't around for the past eighteen hours to monitor him at all...

" come on kid, it's past your bedtime... again" Said Jesse.

John whines in protest.

" maybe tomorrow " I said, I'm lying of course, I can't say I feel good about it.

" daddy will you read me a story?" Asked John as he lets go if my legs.

Jesse looks at me expectantly.

" ah, you know uncle Jesse does the best voices" I quickly replied.

Jesse shrugged and shot a look at me, surprise cowboy, you can't read through my mask.

" get some rest kid" I said as he frowned. It hurts to act this way, but if he wants his mom back as much as I do, he'll understand... someday.

I listened for a moment to make sure they had left as their footsteps got more distant. I finally made it to the door, more snow falling from the sky. Great. Now would have been a good time to have Mei here, Mei... I hadn't checked on how that situation was developing.

Everything should be fine, I can fly in this. I've flown in inclement weather before, maybe not while coming down from whatever Ana gave me but fine.

The green visor lit up through the snowfall. Shit.

" I strongly advise you wait on whatever you are planning" hissed Genji as he gracefully rose from his tumble from the tree.

" why?!"

" first of all, they are gone. "

" shit! And no one told me?!"

" in all fairness commander you did sleep for—-"

I walked off not letting him finish.

My breathing began to shake. It's been days. Fucking days without her, by now she could be completely turned. It took a week for Amélie, or less, Angela never disclosed too much of what she discovered. Fuck.

She was always terrified of writing too much into the computers. Her notebooks were kept under lock and key. ' it's the safest way, ja?' She would coyly say to the higher ups. God was she charming, skirting her way around every protocol most of the time. No wonder Reyes hated her. I slumped against the back of the cabin. My boots swallowed by the snow.

No wonder he hated her, my mind repeated. She's still alive, he takes his time with revenge. The sheer amount of pain she must be in right now...

" I do not mean to interrupt you, you don't have to speak with me. I just know how you feel in a way" Said Genji. I didn't even notice him following me.

" fine" I replied motioning for him to sit, he uncharacteristically dropped to the snow and sat splayed out.

" you want to try and retrieve her?" He asked after a few minutes of silence.

"No shit" I grunted.

" I meant now" he casually replied.

" that was the plan"

" Ana should be back soon, after your mishap in ... well after she was perceived as dead by the world... she can't hang out anywhere"

" so who took Reinhardt into the hospital"

" Fareeha " he answered.

I nodded, my mind has been so cluttered that I rarely think of Ana as shrike. To be fair, I haven't thought of anyone but Angela. Even my own kid has taken backseat to all of this.

"That's good, any news on that front?"

" not much, they wanted to stay off radar as much as possible. Created a diversion, left him in an alley with Fareeha, made it look like a random attack or something. It was a messy plan, they may have changed it on the flight over"

" has anything been on the radar? Has anyone checked?"

His silence spoke volumes in that moment. We are far far too disorganized. I pulled out my phone and looked at headlines, nothing stuck out. Sighing in relief i returned it to my pocket.

My head titled back towards the night sky, inhaling deeply inside my mask.

" I think i should just surrender to Talon" the words came out of my mouth and I was met with a slap to my mask. The metal frame cut into my nose.

I could feel my fist collide with his mask as he fell backwards.

" what the fuck was that?" I growled.

" I thought it would make you think clearly" hissed Genji. " you were speaking nonsense"

" fuck, I thought you were supposed to be peaceful "

He snickered as he stood up, offering out a hand.

" go back inside, monitor things, we can leave when they return. But no surrendering. "

I accepted his help, rising to my feet and brushing off the snow.

" no surrendering" I mumbled as I walked back inside.

The wooden floorboards creaked as I walked towards the room I was sharing with John. Before I could open the door I heard Winston frantically typing. I pushed open that door instead, Lena was perched on the bed her mouth agape.

" what happened?" I asked.

" Ana was spotted, it's all over the news" Winston said through gritted teeth.

My legs gave out as I slumped against the wall. I've dealt with nightmare PR, government officials... everything. This I have no power over.

I stared blankly at the screen, my eyes scanning the article.

It wasn't terrible news, she was revealed as shrike. She went into the hospital with Reinhardt, no mention of the ORCA and no mentions of Fareeha and Brigitte.

" so the woman are on their way back?" I asked.

" we don't know, not a single article mentions how or why they got to the hospital. " Said Lena.

" if it was going to happen, this is the best outcome " I stated.

If all of them had been spotted with the ORCA it would have arose suspicion, especially with Brigitte, more speculation etc. We are all old friends, it would make sense for Fareeha to be with her mother, and girlfriend. There's already far too many conspiracy theories that are too close to the truth tied to me. I don't want any more suspicion drawn to the entire group.

At this point Lena just handed me the pot of coffee. My legs had regained their strength as I stood up, gripping the pot in one hand as I returned to my usual chair. My mask now removed for better focus and to drink.

Nerve wracking hours passed, I barely spoke to anyone. Just scouring headlines and trying to create a plan to storm the casino. Even if overwatch was operational this would take days of strategic planning.

The fleeting image of Angela curled up in bed, her notes haphazardly placed around her while she worked. I would be at the small desk peering over at her, making my own mission plans. Dedicated to our jobs and each other. Each taking turns trying to drag each other to bed, eventually relenting. Sometimes... I could see it too clearly. A tendril of hair covering her eyes as her papers became her pillow. I wouldn't disturb her, just letting her sleep while I collapsed on the couch. Only to wake up with her on my chest, her hair tickling my face. With a soft grunt I would carefully try to move her into a more comfortable position.

" are you okay?" Lena's voice jarred me back to reality.

" fine" I snorted before glaring at the screens.

" ya don't sound—"

" I'm not—" I paused trying to find the correct way to craft my answer.

Lena's eyes looked glassy and ready to spill more tears.

I placed a hand on her shoulder for a moment.

" I'm not accustomed to working with a team again, I worked alone for years. My first time attempting to lead everyone to take down someone I knew on such... well. He was my friend, and I knew him. I know his tricks I know his flaws... goddamnit I know how he takes his coffee and how his drinks are made. I fucking knew his life. And yet I cannot figure my way around this shit. "

" yeah but—" she protested for a moment before closing her mouth and listening.

" I had a plan. And now without knowing where or how those girls will get back here. Each minute I lose, Angela loses more and I can't handle that. The more I think about it the more of a hinderance it is" I exhaled as I watched the same old feed. The same news stories with no new leads. The same fucking bullshit.

" I know of someone who can help" Genji said softly as he pushed open the door to enter.

" ehmmm. I'll leave you two to it then? " Said Lena quickly before dashing away.

" I probably shouldn't have said so much" I sighed.

" I don't think she's used to you being honest about the severity of situations yet. " he replied.

A smirk appeared on my face for a moment.

" yeah well. Something about old dogs" I grunted.

" they could be back at any minute you know? "

" I don't like dealing in uncertainty anymore. If she is at the casino... there will be a lot of security. But once that is handled then it should make it easier to strike" my tone shifted from uncertain to confident.

I glared at Genji for a moment while he sat there looking as zen as usual.

" what the fuck did you do?" I asked him.

" nothing, I heard you open up again. Asked the right questions and directed your mind to a solution. In other words—"

" you tricked me"

" that is not a phrase I would use. I instead used guided meditation " the look on his real face was completely smug.

The look on his face never faltered from smug.

" you changed the medication?"

I growled.

" that I would never do, you probably reacted that way for reasons I couldn't explain. But I saw vulnerability, as Zenyatta saw in me. I used that as an opening to help you relax your mind and focus on the task at hand. You are very troubled. "

" it's not like you are a picture of sanity"

The smug look left his face as he recoiled.

" all this time I thought it was Angela's forgiveness I should be seeking—"

" it was, this is an irrelevant conversation, now you are the one changing things around"

" very well" he responded with a touch of sorrow.

" fuck it. Do you think you can handle storming this place with me?" I asked switching the subject back to the important matter.

" that would not be wise" he mused, eyes drifting off into space.

The anger rising in my body, I just pinched the bridge of my nose in complete frustration.

" I understand. But we should go as a group, we need backup. You know this, stop getting caught in your emotions" Genji reasoned.

" fine. We will wait to hear from Ana and Fareeha. Any more news on Mei?" I forced myself to ask. I care about all of them, but my one track mind these days.

" she is happy to be around people again. In remarkably good health for the cryostasis. That just from preliminary tests. They all somehow managed to remain unseen. They want to head here as well, but that is far too risky. "

I nodded taking it all in, again realizing the lack of any resources.a few years back that wouldn't have stopped me, I followed Angela across the world, in disguise. I was the vigilante soldier 76, I got shit done finally. I can do this again... except. Now we have a son, a confirmed son... before it was just a thought... an ultrasound. I had no idea if she actually gave birth. I exhaled and heard Genji awkwardly shuffling next to me.

" you can go" I growled as his body language changed again, heaviness in his body as he rose from the chair. He wasn't moving at his usual swift pace and Cat like agility. He looked worn down... I think we all are. At least Reinhardt is getting medical treatment, by sub-par doctors.

The screens kept blurring together. I have a son, who I've been ignoring for I don't know how long, it's been a long time without her now. Everything is running together, looking at him depresses me. Knowing I have no new answers or solutions to bring her back to us.

I still can go rogue... travel into town, barter for transportation. Eventually make it to the casino... that would take days this way.

I miss her, I miss her smile, her laugh... her warmth. I want her... more than just physically, although that would be wonderful too but I've gone years without her in the physical sense. Her emotional presence, her combative but reasonable approaches to everything but her own lifestyle.

I felt a light tug on my arm, glancing over at the source of it made my heart ache.

" John... what are you doing out of bed?" I asked.

" it's lunchtime!" He replied with a toothy grin. His bright blue eyes peering up at me, crumpled captain America shirt on with his hands reaching up for me. I lifted him onto my lap as he immediately turned to the computers.

" is this where mommy is?" He questioned, his voice was hopeful.

" unlikely" I replied, I don't want to lie to him. If that makes me a bad father... well congratulations to me, because I already missed years of his life.

" why... why are you watching it?" His tearful voice asked.

" to make sure of things, we have to monitor everything " I answered as he turned around to hug my neck. I patted his back before he wiggles free, flopping down to the floor.

" can I help?" He asked.

" you need to go eat something" I said.

He was tracing the notches in floorboards with his finger and ignoring me.

" John—-" I said.

" oh there's you are!" Squeaked Lena as she pushed open the rest of the door.

John climbed under the desk hiding from her, dangerously close to the plugs.

" John, come on, get out from under there" I said keeping my voice monotone. Lena exchanged glances of concern with me. His little hands lingered on one of the cords before finally crawling out.

Fortunately he didn't disturb anything electrical. We have a lot hooked up down there, and any accident could easily set us back.

I pat his head before he leaves with Lena. I drank the cold cup of coffee while aimlessly checking over the notes I had compiled on Maximilian's empire. That's the only way to properly describe it, it's an empire. If we hadn't signed on Genji, and if he didn't later reconcile with Hanzo... well. I have no doubt they would have wound up with Maximilian.

Especially after the Antonio Bartalotti assassination, that's a memory I don't want to revisit. Everything went downhill there, faster than we could contain. I skimmed through the old documents and news reports, I don't need to revisit this, I know every detail by heart. But I could see Angela's sweet face at the end of the day, her efforts to keep up morale. Her beautiful blue eyes full of worry whenever I would work late into the evenings in my office. Various news channels spouting out rumors and exaggerations, false information filling my ears as I tried to focus. But she would come floating into the office, fresh coffee, sometimes shots of whiskey as she would perch on the edge of the desk, blocking the news with her smile. Gently rubbing my back as she would whisper that it wasn't my fault, it wasn't my fault...

But now it is, everything that has taken place in the past month is my fault. All of it leading up to her capture, I got cocky, I wanted to end it all. I wanted to be free with her... instead I am chasing a phantom. I am chasing my past mistakes.

I'm a wanted criminal in a dead man's body.

I knock back what remains in the coffee mug and groan at the news now pouring in. Talon struck just outside Numbani again...

Right near Lucio's hometown, bolder... more aggressive. They have had the upper hand in all of this, and I can't stop it.

My hands clasp behind my neck as I close my eyes for a few minutes, listening to the reports. No death toll yet, it's a decently small attack, they believe it's talon. It doesn't matter, they won't respond, the UN is cowards in their offices. Making calls on what is important and what isn't. Never daring to strike against them. But they disbanded us...

A soft tap on my shoulder followed by a slumping into the chair next to me. Jesse plunked down a fresh pot of coffee onto a mat Bridgette must have crocheted. She had a phase... we all got scarves, multiple scarves... the memory almost bringing a smile to my face as we wrapped Lena and Angela in all of them.

" I also brought ya this... Lena insisted that you eat" Said Jesse as he handed over a smooshed muffin. That he stored in his pocket somehow.

I wrinkled my brow at him, he replied with a shrug.

" uh, could you tell her I ate it?" I asked eyeing it.

Jesse took a large bite as crumbs littered the desk.

" consider it done" he mumbled before launching into a coughing fit.

His face showed panic... fucking hell.

" dumb-ass cowboy" I said as I slapped him on back, muffin sprayed onto the screens.

" thank you kindly " he mumbled before he gulped down some coffee.

I glared at him motioning to the screens.

Through the muffin crumbs I noticed smoke on a screen near the casino.

Wait...

" oi! What's with all the commotion?!" Yelled Lena as she entered the room.

" that muffin was supposed to be for you!" Lena barked, I could hear her annoyance.

But right now figuring out the source of this smoke was top priority.

A few smudges remained on the screen, I tried shifting camera angles but none would pick up on it.

" get Winston" I ordered to anyone within earshot.

My heart was racing, what the fuck is happening ?!

The systems were running fine and backing everything up as I inspected the street videos that I could manage to find.

This is taking too long... where the fuck is Winston ?!

Maybe it's just a nearby building that caught on fire? I replayed a portion of the video before and after... there's no indication that just a fire started that. It's an explosion.

If she's there... I just... my chest tightened. A cold sweat broke out.

 **A/N: apologies for it being another month to release this, i didn't like the time jumps, but i'm just leaving it as is! i kept overthinking, and in order to advance to the other chapters i have ready and waiting, i couldn't let this one just, overpower me! Hopefully the next update will be quicker! Much love to all of you who are still reading this. (especially my loves : L0rdofThEMemes, Cyborgninja777 and ayumiiishinozakiii )**


	65. Chapter 65

**A/N: This is back to Angela's POV.**

 **T/W , C/W : There's a lot of gore, mind control, manipulation etc. If any of these are your triggers PLEASE message me. I will do my best to edit/ summarize this chapter for you.**

Something felt completely off, I want to scream but another part of me is intrigued.

Blurry vision reveals my bloody hands again, slowly coming into focus as muscle and tissue is mixed in. Instinctively wiping my hands on the clothes I am thankfully wearing. It all feels so strange, everything is moving so slowly.

The creases in my pants as I wipe off the blood. The feeling of fibers woven into them.

" well, now we are down a Doctor" someone voiced.

" but it appears we gained the one we wanted" gloated Max.

" How is the little devil doing?" Asked another voice.

I don't want to look, my eyes more focused on the body on the floor, previously known as Edwin, the blood stopped forming around him. It was nearly dried, a few hours? No. Oh I don't know anymore. His eyes dull, shocked expression plastered onto his face. I don't want to know.

' who cares?' came a small voice in my head.

What the fuck.

' who cares about one life. Now you can finally be in control. Have the power to truly practice medicine and science' it grew louder...

But... that's not...

" Devil... how are we feeling today?" Asked Reyes.

" Just fine" I replied without even realizing. Fight it.

I felt his hands on my body, lifting me off the table and back into the wheelchair. My legs still in the casts.

" simply a precaution for the time being. I promise" gleamed Max as he trailed a finger along my jaw.

I didn't recoil, I want to recoil.

' you are free, finally... why fight it?'

Because I'm not!

The door opened to the hallway, I'm finally leaving that horrible room.

Sombra was waiting in the hallway, her brow slightly raised when she looked at me.

' is that a look of sadness? What is her problem?! I'm stronger. More powerful, medical advancements can finally be made in this archaic world. '

I'm not like this, I don't think that way.

' wrong. I have always felt this way. Fuck the law... what have we been doing all these years? Hell your entire life... skirting around the law. And Jack? He made you weak. He turned you into a pathetic love sick bitch'

The rattling of the keys shaking me from my thoughts. Back into the cell? I let out a sigh.

" oh, don't worry diablesse ( she-devil ) this is temporary. We just want to make certain that you will cooperate. How quickly you forget" Max said.

Once again Reyes lifted me up and placed me into my bed, his mask hiding his rotting flesh. One of his claws grazed my flesh, my hand reaches out twisting his and growling under my breath.

A smile crept onto my face as I pulled him closer.

" let him go" ordered Max.

My grip released, without a thought.

His hand made contact with my face, immediately I struck back. Almost knocking off that ridiculous skull mask.

" OUT OF THERE" Max's voice boomed.

The hollow pits of Reyes' eyes glowed as he seemingly floated out of the cell. Max locked the door while staring ahead at me. Despite his emotionless facade, you could sense his satisfaction.

After another glance at me they left, and I could see the empty cell across from me. Usually holding Junkrat, I don't even have him to talk too.

Not that I'd want him to see me like this, why does that even matter?

' nobody came for you...'

They can't possibly know where I am.

' please, you know they are more intelligent than that'

Even so... their numbers are so few...

' it's easier for you to relent. You have so much more here. Including the illegal chemicals we need'

You know nothing of my work... fuck. I'm fighting with myself.

' that's right, end your pain and listen. Nobody gives a shit about you anymore. The world let you down, your family let you down. Again and again and again. You struggled against fighting and keeping peace... stop fighting yourself'

I can't stop this

' of course you can't. Did you think this would be easy?! That you prepared for this? Thought Amélie was weak because she wasn't trained?'

Stop it

' not you, never you. You are too smart for this'

Shut up.

' I bring back people from death! I can play god all I want! '

My nails started tearing into my palms.

' oh this again? Really? Pathetic... what next? Begging for a drink ? Going to go cry about it? Sob to a kind face?'

Make this stop. Please.

' I thought you were stronger than this! Didn't you?! Didn't you believe that you could somehow withstand all of this?'

My palms pressed against my ears as I let out a scream, pushing the voice out of my head that was laughing at me. Screaming as if it would stop my mind, stop the pain.

My throat felt raw as the scream grew louder.

" SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Shouted Reyes as he approaches the door.

I could feel my lungs aching, instead I paused for a moment.

' really ? This is your plan? Do you really—'

I started screaming again, my ears popping with the pressure.

Reyes rattles on the cell door for a moment before a guard rushed over.

" shut this stupid bitch up!" He barked.

The guard shrugged, you can't just shrug around Reyes. Especially when he is in control. The guard was met with Reyes' hand around his throat.

The guard and I screaming, well the guard tried to vocalize his fear.

Max approached from the shadows, gently unlocking the cell doors in a calculated manner.

" give this to her" I heard him order in between my screaming.

The guard clutches the syringe in his hand, looking apprehensively at Max before coming near me.

' fear... weakness... such a flawed human'

As he braced to inject me, my hand shot out from my side and directly into his throat. Blood coated my face as I brought him closer.

' how convenient'

" I'm so sorry" I gasped out as he fell onto my lap, I tried rolling him over but the pain shot through my legs.

A soft gurgle from his throat, a wheeze.

" would you like to fix him?" Asked Max.

' Angela Angela Angela... you just killed another person for no reason. Brilliant. '

" yes" I softly said.

" I couldn't hear that" replied Max coyly.

" yes " I forced out louder as I felt him dying on me. My hand touched his pale cheek, leaving another smear of blood on him.

' oh stop playing the victim. You just killed a man. Own it. Besides he was the enemy anyways in your false morals'

What false morals?

' you have to destroy to create progress. How pathetic and weak. '

" don't you want to bring him back to life?" Max stated...he's trying to ...

' to what? Finally let you reach your potential ? Nobody was ready for that. Nobody would listen to your reasoning. '

That is another lie...

" I can't. I can't" to force out of my throat was incredibly difficult. My body rocked with sobs but no tears.

" useless" Shouted Reyes as he slammed the cell doors closed. Max locked them, leaving me with the dead body just half laying on my abdomen. His face looked surprised, horrified... it just laid there on me. His knees planted on the ground... he shouldn't be able to rigor like this, but of course it's possible.

' fitting. You deal with this'

How the fuck am I supposed to do anything without anything.

Scheisse I just killed an innocent person.

' not that innocent'

True...

' now we can agree on something'

" YOU DID THIS!" I screamed.

' but I am you'

" no no no no no no no" I repeated over and over and over. Desperately trying to stay in control.

My eyes squeezed shut but I could feel the body getting colder on me.

' well, now that you have thrown a tantrum...'

This is what humans should feel! We should have remorse.

' for what? '

For killing people!

' pathetic'

How? How is that pathetic?!

' your weakness is that you care too much'

I hardly find that to be a weakness.

' would you be in here if it wasn't for that? ... '

" sleep diablesse" Max's voice rang through the walls.

—-

The doors to my cell creaked open waking me up. If I could be more optimistic I would hope everything was a nightmare.

' but that wouldn't be true. '

I looked over at my newest form of torture, Reyes.

He took a few brisk steps towards me, I'm not scared this time. A wave of calm instead of my usual anxiety.

He pushed the body off of me before his arms wrapped around me in an almost caring way. As he was lifting me up , a pain shot through my legs temporarily. I looked down at the body in remorse, but the voice in my head started screaming louder and louder in aversion to own.

" how does it feel to be helpless ?" He grunted as he placed me into the chair.

" I'm not helpless" I replied.

A laugh bellowed from him, he pushed me out of the cell. I couldn't see any guards lingering, or anyone for that matter.

My body eased back into the leather backing, staring up at the fluorescent lights.

' it's more rewarding to not feel a thing '

There's truth in that...

' of course there is. Fear makes you weak. '

Why isn't he speaking? Normally he would take this time to gloat.

' why should he speak to you? You are superior to him. He's just doing his job'

I'm not—-

' in rank, nothing more'

Glad to clear that up...

' naturally '

We stopped outside a large metal door. The vault... his back face me, unlocking the heavy door and swinging it open.

A freezer? What the fuck?! The muscles in my face strained for a moment fighting with my emotions.

' are you really surprised? '

It's not really a surprise, perhaps his methods can still catch me off guard.

' that would be surprise , god are you slipping mentally. '

Reyes turned around, his coat swirling around his ankles as he pushed me in.

The chill in the air making quick work of me.

" enjoy" was all he uttered before closing the door on his way out.

The grinding of the locks bolting into place.

Instinctively my hands let down my hair, as I began to messily braid the base trying to cover my ears. That's where you lose heat the fastest.

Am I losing heat? My breath made small puffs of warm air but just barely.

I tucked my mildly chilled fingers under my arms. Screaming will only cost me oxygen, tucking my head down to my chest.

The little puffs of warm air escaping my mouth and falling onto my flesh.

So this is how I go? In a fucking freezer? They would really allow this?

' what do you honestly think? Have you followed any basic orders? Helped them in any way? '

He kept giving me chances...

' did you take any of them? I think not... you brought this onto yourself. Now you get to die the martyr, in a way you win. Or maybe I will?'

Fuck off.

' ah yes, fighting yourself should be how you spend your remaining minutes'

What else am I supposed to do? My legs are still bound in this fucking archaic medical device. They should have healed by now! But they still feel so much pain.

' so that's that then...'

That's exactly it, all my medical advances and I don't know how it will manage in extreme temperatures.

Who knows how long this lasted, when the cold hits you it just takes over. Everything speeds up and then slows down... it could have been minutes or much longer, but the door unlocked and In stormed five soldiers.

Their guns pointed at me, a laugh exited my mouth and reverbs in the small room.

Their faces looked puzzled as I laughed harder, then Max casually strolled in. The small gust of heat hitting me, burning my flesh before I could realize what was happening.

The immediate shock of the situation kicked in, despite my laughter I yanked the closest soldier down to my level before swiftly snapping his neck.

Another one began firing a heat gun and I grabbed the next one trying to restrain me, using his body as a buffer. I could distinctly smell the burning flesh, as he screamed in my grasp I laughed.

Why the hell am I laughing ?

' because this is a comedic situation. Look at the ridiculous scenario playing out before you'

THIS ISN'T—

' oh but it is, for a part of you it is'

As the other soldiers tried to escape I killed them all,I must have... because now I'm just sitting in the chair, covered in blood and smiling. But the smile isn't mine, none of this was my personal choice.

I barely remembered returning to my cell, being placed on the bed and given a towel and a decent blanket for once.

All I can see is the blood and flesh sticking to my body. I can't hear the voice inside my head anymore, something horrible happened... but I feel completely numb.

Shock, this is shock. Come on, you've treated so many for this. I scrubbed desperately at my flesh.

" uh... Sheila. Not ta pry but uh. What happened to you?" Came the first actually friendly voice in ... I don't even know how long.

My head snapped up in response, the widening of my eyes as I saw Jack for a moment... but it's just Junkrat.

" s'all right. I don't need ta know, I'm not exactly the example of respectable citizen "

I returned to the towel, and finally began furiously scrubbing at my skin, trying to remove every fiber of blood and flesh that wasn't my own, until it was. Friction burns traced down my arms as I began to hyperventilate.

" Heh! Calm down there. It's not like you get another layer! " hissed Junkrat.

I flung the towel across the cell before hiding my face in my arms and sobbing. What did I do?! What the hell did I do?!

I could vaguely remember the freezer, and the soldiers, but all I could see was Max. Maybe he did this, Maybe it wasn't me. Maybe none of this is real.

" Was zum Teufel habe ich getan? Was zum Teufel habe ich getan?

WAS ZUM TEUFEL HABE ICH GETAN?!" I screamed. ( what the fuck did I do?)

" yer bein' a real mess right now! " he shouted back.

I gripped the sheet before anxiously shredding it, the tearing sounds sending shivers down my spine.

" hey darl' can ya stop that? Gimme a second"

I paused for a moment staring at him while he dug into his one dirty boot before procuring a vial of some sort.

" can ya catch?" He asked.

' curious'

Shut up!

" I can try" I whispered.

I watched as he scampered about again, carefully tying it into a strip of his own sheet before looking at me.

" ready?"

I nodded as I stared at him, catching things has never been my talent. It whirled through the air towards me, before plunking onto the bed.

" what is this?" I asked as I unwrapped the vial.

" dunno really... call it hogdrogen! Well. He calls it that. Just sniff some of it! " he cheerfully replied.

This could very well be a trap, or some form of drug I shouldn't inhale... but at this point I just don't care anymore. Anything that helps I'll try.

My hands twitched on the cork for a moment, then harder.

' don't you —'

The smell was awful, but also quite sweet, like a blend of chemicals... almost like a radiation drug ? Those haven't been used in a very long time. Decades...

I closed the vial, luckily more was left. I tried rewrapping it but my eyes can't seem to focus.

" keep it, they are doing worse to ya... but she'll be right. Just relax" he soothed.

' well now your in for it'

I don't give a single damn, I just want this pain and everything I've done to just go away, I have plenty of questionable substances in my

Body and this is just one more to the mix.

' some doctor you are'

I won't deny that statement, I'm terrible. I'm in this mess because everyone knew too much. But I desperately needed funding. It was always the issue... funding. There is always money in war, war the whole fucking thing that spiraled my entire life into this mashed up horror show.

People are the victims, innocent people.

' are you finished?'

No! I'll never be finished until someone finally listens... well. Someone other than Jack.

' ha! Look at how well he listened to you when you asked him to stay! Look at the years he hid from you. Pretending to be dead—-'

" SHUT UP!"

" uh, I didn't say a thing" replied Junkrat.

I looked over at my bewildered friend.

He must think I'm an absolute mess! A diabolical madman thinks I'm a mess.

I just inhaled a mystery substance from a known criminal...

' while idiotic and naive , you did what you wanted... you took a risk'

But you, I mean I warned me.

' think for yourself'

Oh great, now the voice in my head is telling my to think for myself...

" you alright? It always helps roadie... "

" what? Yes... thank you " I replied returning to the moment. My fingers and toes felt numb. A rush of adrenaline combined with comfort and calm. The two emotions clearly battling for some sort of buzzed control.

" is this normal?" My voice Squeaked as I laid back down, the ceiling was vibrating.

" soon she'll be alright, just take some time" he replied.

Focusing on the ceiling, and slowly inhaling and exhaling, desperately imagining stars or something more pleasant to look up at.

I could hear Junkrat's snores as I relaxed, just think of the stars.

The memory of laying in the grass with Jack crept into my mind.

Years ago, while stationed in a rural countryside, I can't even remember anymore. Just the sky and sky watching with a few fellow overwatch members, drinking and just relaxing for once. Slowly they would stumble off, until we were finally alone.

We wandered through a small forest, reminiscing of the area of our first kiss. I was far more drunk than him, he would shift from carrying me. To just holding my hand while I spun around him. Then just laying there. Occasionally he would lean over to gently kiss my cheek, and pull me closer while softly whispering "mein schöner Engel" ( my beautiful angel). His American accent attempting German for me was just... exhilarating. A electric sensation would buzz through me. Eventually straddling him and kissing his neck. His hands running along the small of my back, wishing we had somewhere much more secluded. It was one thing to be making out and caught in the woods, but anything further would have been... not allowed. What we were doing was already risky. The buildup of these moments just made sex so much more.

"mein schöner Engel" I heard him whispering in my mind.

But that's just a dream, hardly even a memory anymore. I remember no words just sensations...

' and now you are crying... what a welcome improvement'

And I'm back in hell.

' not quite. This is hardly hell, I had to listen to you dream about... well. hell is—- what are you doing?'

I just softly hummed, just enough to clear my mind.

Junkrat started yelling in his sleep, so I sat up, glancing down at my legs... MY LEGS!

There was no blood, no metal...

" Junkrat!" I Squeaked.

" YA WANNA FIGHT ME?!" He Shouted as he began to thrash. I covered my mouth to stifle a laugh. His hair was far more wild than normal, which is saying something.

The maniacal grin on his face, looked like a joker cartoon.

" aw shit. Hey darl' " he said as he scratched his head and slowly blinked at me.

" my legs?!" I said softly.

" er... whatabout them?" He asked peering over.

" are they?—" but my eyes focused again. Each screw back in place.

" I can assure you, yer gams are just right" he mumbled half asleep again.

They feel numb and painful, but everything is fairly numb in my body. The tingling sensation crawling over, my head feels more clear. A long relaxed breath pushed out of my pursed lips.

For the first time since... before that day, I feel more normal.

" get up!" Barked Reyes, my eyes popped open to see him hovering over me.

His talons clawed at my flesh for a moment as he tried to get me up.

" what now?" I growled back, evoking more rage from him.

"Your stubbornness is working out well for me. " the glee dripped in each word. Like a child at Christmas... sick bastard.

" seems fitting for a psychopath" I uttered. The small wrapped up vial was tucked under my pillow still.

" oh Angela, I wouldn't play with me today, you won't like the outcome " he sneered.

I rolled my eyes at him,where the hell is my fear?

' it's made you weak'

Possibly? That sounds like something he would say... or a line from something.

His nails jabbed into me as he carried me out of the cell. Junkrat was peacefully sleeping, I smiled at my sleeping friend. For once, thanks to him I had no nightmares, and I'm feeling more uplifted. What the hell is going on with my emotions and why I chose to focus on it right now is probably the only thing keeping me sane.

Reyes dropped me into the chair, my spine hitting against the hard seat causing my neck to ache. Wheeled down the hall again, my head began to ache as he spoke to me. Nothing he was saying was making any sense.

" vat?" I muttered after a moment of dizziness.

" stupid bitch" he replied in his menacing tone. Even with his new voice it's still the same old Reyes.

Another room, more guards lined up, my stomach clenched as I saw them.

Visions of bodies covered in blood and organs flickered in my memory. No... no. Not again not again. Please fuck no.

' sometimes we must learn to conquer our own beliefs and fears'

It's the decent thing to not kill, it's wrong.

' naive little bird'

I froze, every cell of my body felt like it was on fire. A scream left my throat, rattling my lungs.

I'm fucking on fire, I'm on fire. Like my father, like my mother. I'm on fire, sharp claws pressed into my shoulder, a temporary distraction from self roasting.

I saw the flames, the soldiers, the death the destruction.

' fight it'

I can't I can't... this isn't real this can't be real, tears streamed down my face, the smell was horrible, for decades I tried to erase the scent of burnt flesh from my psyche. It almost drove me out of my mind. This is me, this is fire, this is what—-

A guard charged at me— and I woke up in my bed. My hands bandages and covered in soot.

I can't scream, my throat still stings from the smoke and I can taste it. My mouth feels like I swallowed ash and flesh.

I wipe my arms with the dried bloody towel from who knows when. Who knows how the hell long I've been here, even more blood is stuck to my flesh over and under the ash.

" Sheila, do me a solid" whispered junkrat.

The absolute nerve of him, asking me for a favor right now. His face changed expressions, most likely from my response.

" take the stuff I gave ya" his voice sounded so pitiful, apologetic.

" are you doing this to me?" I whispered.

" what could I possibly do from inside here?" He replied with an insulted sniff.

I nodded while toweling off my face, my hair was only partially singed, surprising... but it wreaked of smoke. My hair contained the odor of it all, blood, flesh, smoke...

I reached for the vial, inhaling deeply. The fumes offsetting the even worse ones I'm trapped with. I quickly recapped it, pushing it back under the pillow before letting out a sigh.

" ya look worse than me after setting off— well. Don't matter. Feel better" his sad voice said.

The man who helped blow up part of Australia is taking pity on me... this world is mad. This world that I dedicated my life to heal, they've shown me what they want. They don't want help... they want revenge. It's exactly what Talon is proving to me.

The world is violent, I thought I could make peace, instead I created monsters and more violence... more greed and more fighting.

I'm so— a small laugh left my mouth... high.

" diablesse..." Came a sing-Song voice.

My body shot up in bed as I stared at the cage.

" my my... how you've changed no?"

" hey! Back off smurfette!" Chirped junkrat.

Amélie smiles into my cell, her hands delicately wrapped around the bars.

" I didn't think he could do this, but ah. He proved me wrong" her eyes looked emotionless.

" little devil put up quite the fight" Said Max as he joined her. The red eyes staring through me.

" how the mighty have come around " he added his tone softening for a moment as he spoke into her ear. A smile pulled her mouth up.

" thank you" she whispered.

" back to sleep diablesse" ordered Max as I obeyed.

My head hit the pillow harder than expected. I could hear the glass breaking softly through the fibers.

The fumes overwhelmed me, I tried to stifle laughter as they walked away hand in hand. Two emotionless beings have seemingly fallen in love.

My eyes pulled around in and out of focus as I giggled to myself.

" don't worry darl. She'll be alright. Just ya wait"

Whatever the fuck that means...

" thing is—- well soon" he whispered.

" soon for what?" I said a bit loudly.

" a parade" he replied bluntly.

The idea of a Talon parade made me laugh harder.

For once my head is light, my body is floating.

" well this'll make things easier" I could hear him mumbling and rattling things. For once the voices in my head quieted down enough to just, exist and not have to process a single trauma.

The only thing I remember is an injection earlier, at this point everything is fucked. But, there's some form of hope.

I could almost see Jack snuggled next to me, my arms could wrap around him, inhaling the scent of pulse ammunition and sweat. Wait, I'm actually smelling something...Burning... i smell smoke, the sound of boots crashing against the ground, combined with shouting... what the hell is happening?

 **A/N: phew. Okay, i know i keep saying this! i debated posting this chapter at all because it feels slightly repetitive, but it could seem that way because i've read and re-read this chapter more than i should have. I truly need to just release these chapters into the wild.**

 **ALSO I NEED TO CELEBRATE FOR A MOMENT 100 REVIEWS! when i started writing this fic i never thought i would get a single review. Super huge thanks to all of you who read this and comment! But shoutouts to my loves : L0rdOfThEMemes , CyborgNinja777, ayumiiishinozakiii and my newest reviewer robot584 ! (also my darling "guest" who magically appeared when i needed you, thank you! mercy76 is soooo underrepresented on here! )**


	66. Chapter 66

Winston's movement was getting closer and faster, the door flung open as Lena and him arrived.

Jesse moved immediately , as I struggled to explain the basics of " explosion".

Explosion...

Concrete... dust and smoke swirled around me. Choking my lungs... heavy metal crushed around me. Flames licking near my coat...

" hey... love? " Said Lena softly, her hand touched my should and I recoiled. I don't want to be touched, I want to be held by one woman. And she's fucking missing or in some fucking explosion!

" uhm. I'm going to try and look for any news regarding the casino because right now the cameras are failing. View is limited and this —-"

Started Winston.

" do whatever needs to be done" I barked.

The room was silent, I shouldn't have lashed out. But I also can't apologize. There is only one person i owe an apology too and she could be crushed...

" basic reports of an explosion, part of the... building is destroyed. " Winston spoke softly as he relayed that.

" well they wouldn't go to all this trouble to blow her up!" Shrieked Lena as she shook, her teeth gnawing at her lip, eyes welling up with tears.

" even with proper transportation it would take hours to get there" Genji voiced, when the hell did he step in here?

" well thanks for that completely unhelpful load of rubbish statement!" Lena snarled at him.

" we don't need to be arguing right now" grunted Jesse as he lit up a cigar, his hand shaking the match.

" track the vehicles leaving the area" I stated.

Winston nodded, the only sound was the crackle of Jesse's cigar and the tapping of Winston's typing. What the hell are we going to do?... she can survive an explosion ... she did when she pushed me out of the way, but her back suffered for a bit before healing... but combined with the substances they are probably... with. Well... whatever they are—- scratching in my throat as it tightened. Desperately fighting back the urge to start screaming in rage, breaking everything in this room and taking off.

Their eyes all shifting towards me, knowing I will snap at any moment. I can't leave this room. The shred of commander remaining in my psyche forcing me to restrain all emotion.

My angel... going through an explosion like that... STOP THINKING ABOUT IT. FOCUS ON THE FACTS!

No new reports, Talon is fairly good at getting reported on, but nobody wants to follow up on it. Vigilantes though ... now those are the real scum according to news outlets. They will drag people trying to do the right things, but the minute crime lords are committing public acts... silence. A few words written or spoken. That's all, that's all there is to it. They know the world is evil, they just want to bring everyone else to the same level.

A loud crash and startled shriek was heard in the cabin.

" BRIGETTE!" Was finally shouted louder from Ingrid.

" well that's one less worry" Said Winston with half a grin. Lena tore out of the room to greet the women.

I scratched my chin, the light stubble was getting thicker. Angela would hate this... always batting me away until I shaved, somewhere in the soldier enhancement program they cut down on hair, but it would still occasionally grow.

I'm thinking about facial hair, I'm losing my fucking mind or it's trying to protect me.

" I want to leave right away" I said out loud.

" I don't think that would be a good decision. The explosion and all..." Said Winston.

" that's the perfect time to go" I argued.

" not today, they are grounding flights due to Numbani and now this. " Winston protested.

I feel like a damn child being scolded, my head is throbbing.

" if we could , we would. It's best we just Play into their waiting game. " Winston said.

" she could be fucking dead" I growled.

Silence.

" I do not believe they would kill her. Why go to all this trouble just to kill her ?" States Genji.

Winston broke out of the temporary stupor he was in to slowly nod.

I can't handle this room any longer, I know they all care. But we are just sitting like fucking targets waiting. Months of just waiting around to strike on Talon and I fucked it up. If I went in solo they wouldn't expect it.

Maybe every plan I've had has been a disaster, I brought down Overwatch... literally. I put my mask back on telling the group to keep me informed.

" go get some rest" Said Winston emphatically.

I nodded my head and headed over to my room. John's things were strewn about, god I haven't been here for him at all. Just tossing him off to others... a heavy sigh left my chest. How did Angela's parents do this? No wonder she felt neglected. I began to pick up his things, putting them away as best as I could. I should check on him, but I have no news for him, in fact the situation is worse.

Letting out a long sigh and laying on the bed. The tablet was balanced on the nightstand, this probably needs charged. I fished for the cable as the tablet was bumped, activated as it fell onto the floor.

Angela's sweet face was on it, I quickly plugged it in. Staring at the footage of her smiling and laughing with young Fareeha. Tears threatened to fall, but exhaustion was more imminent.

I set an alarm with the alerts turned all the way up, an hour should do it.

The alarm forced me awake thankfully, I shouldn't sleep during all of this anyway. I shouldn't have rested but the fear of exhaustion hallucinations was threatening me psyche.

It's something she would have forced me to do if she was here, but if she was here I wouldn't be in this situation. In general if I was pulling too many all-nighters she would intervene or threaten to slam me with a doctors order, I almost could laugh at that. Her worried face mixed with anger as she would furiously begin typing and holding out the note. Fuck I miss her. Ever since she has entered my life I've known where she is, even during other captures during dangerous missions, we at-least had her location. But I don't want to think about that again, we agreed to lock those memories and never speak of them. Especially when she would go on a bender because of it. Her lithe body twirling under the influence, I would have to quietly escort her to her chambers. She would have enough wits to hook up an iv of fluids to re-hydrate and kick the effects. God was... no. She is stubborn and so am I.

I dragged my body out of the bed, changing and putting on the mask I'm so accustomed too, just to cross the hallway, but something was telling me to just go outside. I followed my intuition, I could hear John happily playing with Ingrid in the distance, Torbjorn laughing... all blissfully unaware of the news. Ingrid would rarely turn it on, made her too anxious.

The crunching of the snow under my boots as I rushed through the night towards the cave. It felt good to run again, I haven't had the chance since we left the watchpoint. It felt incredible...

She's somewhere out there and I'm going to find her, I feel I would know if... she's done so much to her body, to her cells and how it works. But her mind... I picked up my pace, the night vision and my own thoughts made me go a mile past the cave. I have a long flight... this was a good thing to do.

I jogged back to the cave, carefully prying up the door of the Orca.

A familiar whirring echoed in the emptiness.

" Bastion" I mumbled.

" hello friend!" He replied, the whirring sounded more soft. I haven't spoken to him in probably weeks...

Fuck.

Fuck.

I straightened my posture before speaking " I'm just going to make a quick flyover, you are welcome to join " I muttered.

" is he? And what about one more?" Hanzo's sudden booming voice made me jump.

" getting sloppy aren't you? Forgot I was keeping watch?" His voice didn't falter in rigidity.

" we have a cloaking device, we will be fine. " I growled.

Hanzo arched one brow at me, an almost amused smirk on his face.

" I'm coming " he stated.

" look I don't need—"

" it wasn't a suggestion, or a question. You aren't going out there alone—" started Hanzo before

Bastion angrily whirred at that statement.

" I have no Overwatch or Blackwatch affiliation, it will be easier for two... three to remain undetected. " he strode over to the passenger seat in the cockpit.

" are you sure about this?" I asked as I shut the doors.

He just sniffed in annoyance at the mere suggestion. I'm not going to argue, a sniper is always appreciated.

I started up the engines, glancing over at my disgruntled companion, he was staring ahead.

It felt good to fly, to finally feel like I'm being productive.

A few hours ticked by, we ignored the transmissions from the rest of the team. Hanzo was unsettling quiet, you could almost forget that he is there.

" what is the plan?" He said breaking the silence.

" well, just going to do an aerial assessment of the damage to the casino, picking up on any running on their part"

" running?" He asked.

" ehm... if there's any signs of chaos. I know explosions caused by Reyes" I replied, my hand began to shake for a moment. I could still taste the dust of concrete and ash in my mouth from that day.

" something wrong?"

" I'm fine, just —"

" good" he interrupted as he settled back into his seat.

I wonder how Angela lived with someone so uptight...but her mother apparently wasn't one for conversation either.

I still can't believe he blew up... may have... that just doesn't make sense.

" you don't think it could have been a strike from the U.N. ?" I mused out-loud.

" that would be foolish in the middle of the day, civilians around... and the casualties..." Hanzo curtly replies.

I didn't think about that, I don't want to think about that... her body blocking the blast from me, her back etched in burns that healed. She will be okay, she has to be.

Angela's POV:

" she's most important don't forget about her in case this gets out of hand" I heard an unfamiliar voice say.

I turned my head slightly inhaling more of the pillow to take away the horrid stench of smoke.

A loud boom shook the walls and my bed, a frustrated grunt, this is either a dream or something is actually happening. I closed my eyes again, trying to get some actual sleep.

" oh come on Sheila... ya gotta get up now" grunted Junkrat.

What the?

I started to let out a scream as he stood over me, but a greasy, oil slick hand covered my mouth as another hand dragged me up.

" but I can't" I started to say as he held me up.

" get on with ya, we gotta move fast" he expressed.

" I can't walk in these" I stated

" in what? So yeh need shoes? Hate to break it to ya but they aren't needed ya just need to have a go at it. " he started pulling at me and my legs moved oddly.

" these! These casts on my legs!" I yelled.

" uh, what casts?" He asked as He looked down.

My eyes kept zooming in and out, I could see my legs, my actual legs!

" fuck it. " he growled as he picked me up. His unstable gait as he ran down the halls, towards areas I had never been. The smoke was so thick, I kept coughing.

" don't breath too much in" he muttered as he scurried. But it already was taking effect. A mix of a bomb and some sort of nerve gas?

I woke up to the sounds of a loud engine, covered in a blanket that had some vomit on it. My nose crinkled as I looked around and pushed it off me.

Where the hell...

I could hear Junkrat complaining loudly to someone else.

" yeah yeah I know it was risky! But worth it!" He exclaimed. A loud loud grunt was his companions reply.

" hey sleepy head" I bolted upright and stared directly at Sombra. Again my eyes started to deceive me with dizziness. Could have been the gas or something else.

" aw cheers! She's awake! Eh roadie say hi!" Chirped Junkrat.

" hi" Came a terrifying, yet strangely comforting voice.

" what..." I managed to say. This is too much to process.

" well, we are probably on our fifth transportation change, and you have thankfully slept the entire time " Sombra causally states.

" why?" I asked.

" that's a bit long to answer, but you will be taken care of better at your new location. " she answered.

" Talon?"

The laughter from Junkrat was almost maniacal.

" ah. Sorry, no... unless you'd rather go back to them?" He Chirped after his laughter subsided.

I won't complain, I'm still a hostage but hopefully in less secure facilities, something anything is better than Talon.

I stretched out a little bit, Sombra made room for me to stretch my legs out. It's still absolutely mind blowing that I kept seeing them in the metal rigs for so long. Instead my fully functional legs are kicking out.

Then it began setting in, how much had been mind games? How many substances had been pumped into me?

' I suppose we won't find out'

Scheisse! I thought you left! What kind of things happened to me? What did I do? Who did I kill? Did I kill?! I remember it! No... I don't remember it. But I know it happened, something very dark stirred inside me.

I glanced at my arms seeing the blood all over again.

" hey hey, calm down! We removed a tracking device from your arms" Sombra's hand touched my arm with gentleness. I didn't expect that, I didn't expect her to be nice to me at all. Is this just another cruel trap? Just a terrible way to convince me of freedom only to strip it away again?!

' most likely'

I let out a frustrated shriek, my body rocked with sobs that filled the transport.

" I'm on it..." mumbled Junkrat as his companion handed him a spare gas mask. " here's ya go" he gently added as he placed it only my head.

The fumes overwhelmed me, my heart pounded, my lungs ache.

Then he pulled it off and smiled.

" there there, she'll be alright" he patted my head and turned back to face the road.

Sombra began cocooning me into blankets.

" you need to relax, get some rest" she murmured as she brushed a few stray hairs away from my face.

The simple act of kindness caused tears to run down my cheeks, dampening the blanket before I passed out.

Waking up in complete darkness, the air felt tight, my hands searched in the darkness only to find a slick vinyl surface, the back portion of a zipper. I could hear labored breathing and abdominal pressure. I'm upside down... well half of me is.

I jabbed my elbows into whoever was carrying me. A loud grunt came out of the person.

I could hear muffled talking as I was dropped rather quickly onto my face.

I could feel hands flipping and a lot of banging a few small explosions.

My pulse quickened, my hands struggled to claw at the back of the zipper. A hand slapped mine as I was being dragged again.

Another explosion rocked the ground under me. The pace quickened, almost frantic. Smaller arms lifted me and rolled me around for a moment. Large doors slammed shut, I hate feeling powerless. A few more doors slammed shut and an engine roared to life, this one had large wheels that Squeaked as we tore off. How old fashioned, wheels... I'll just focus on this. But the zipper opened after a few more minutes.

I let out a sigh of relief as I sat up, carefully stretching my arms out, almost slapping Sombra in the face. I don't want to strike anyone, even those who helped Talon.

She had a small cut across her lip, and a gash in her arm. My hand gently reached out to further inspect it, I could hear a sharp hiss of pain through her pursed lips.

" do you have any medical supplies?" I asked.

" ha! Who needs em!" Giggles Junkrat, but I noticed ' roadie' I'm guessing Mako Rutledge was pawing around in a dirty duffel bag. He tossed me a plastic case covered in pachimari stickers. I stifled a laugh, mein gott... my first laugh in who knows how long?

Inside were some basic supplies, at least something to clean the wound, a lighter, needle and surgical thread, along with some bandages and tweezers.

Sombra glared and twitched as I cleaned out the wound. The simplest of healing tasks...

focus

My hands began to shake, my teeth clamped down on my lip as I continued cleaning, Junkrat was babbling to Mako, whose only replies were " shut up" and " stop talking", I could hear no malice in his voice. Instead I heard amusement with a grumpy facade.

" gracias" Sombra mumbled after I told her I was done. Her skin would heal just fine , I just wish I could actually know what was going on.

Something still doesn't feel right in this adventure. They certainly aren't my rescuers, but for now I'm enjoying the minor freedoms. The voice is still screaming in the back of my fragile state of mind. Trying to focus on anything, even the dusty roads, weaving around places I don't recognize.

I felt her head slump onto my shoulders, a soft snore came out of her mouth. I saw Junkrat smirk in the mirror before mumbling something to roadie. Who is working for who? And how the hell did the four of us escape? Who is trustworthy...

" looking a bit anxious, here ya go" Said Junkrat as he held up a mask.

" I'm fine—- I'll just" I started to say before he lunged at me. Securing the mask to my face. What in the hell!

I tried pushing and he stopped what he was doing, however my joints already relaxed so much. My brain felt mellow as my eyes began to close again.

" just need you relaxed. It's a long drive" he said almost remorsefully. I could feel his hands in my hair for a minute, before I slumped over with Sombra.

I woke up to Sombra gripping my wrists and loudly swearing while Junkrat was trying his hardest to press the mask on me again.

" WHAT THE HELL?!" I Shrieked.

" awww Sheila yer back!" Cheered Junkrat as he loosened his grip, motioning at Sombra to do the same. My eyes adjusted to the darkness surrounding the vehicle, I could see the seat was torn apart and a few slashes on Junkrat's cheek.

" do me a favor, and just inhale this " Sombra states as she grabs the mask back from Junkrat.

I don't know what is going on, and I'm afraid to ask. I'm afraid to keep taking this, but it's my only option to not feel anything right now. I can't overpower any of these people, and Maybe they are helping me? But maybe it's just making everything worse.

I motion for her to continue securing it to my face, inhaling the weird scent and feeling blissfully at ease. As she removes the mask and hands it back to Junkrat I become fixated on her hands; the long beautiful purple nails. I carefully reach out to hold her hand for a moment, admiring the work while she is visibly confused. The sleek neon sheen, the intricate little blue lines.

She waves her free hand in front of my eyes, the colors trailing and weaving in the dim light. Like little fireworks...

Ugh. Jack loved those, must be the American in him. Every year insisting to help lead in the celebration of his countries independence, or something of that nature. The Americans would be pleased, especially with his grilling. The food was absolutely mouth watering. Seeing him happy was the best thing in my life, his absolute joy. But he would hold me later whispering that all he could think about all day was this, just holding me and falling asleep in my arms. I felt so safe, so protected... he would chase my nightmares away...wake up and talk to me all night if he had too. Just stroking my hair and telling me about—

" you alright?" Sombra Asked, interrupting my day dream, my happy place stripped away. My head was laying in her lap, my eyes focused on her blurry face. I could feel her nails against my scalp, slowly twisting my hair.

" what are you doing?" I asked as I pushed myself up.

" braiding your hair. You were drooling on it, so I figured why not?" She Said smugly.

" thanks" I mumbled, looking out the front window for a moment. The dim headlights shining on a barren road... that's not a road. That's water... where the fuck... we are in a car, on the water? Stranger things have happened.

I don't feel anxious, I don't feel anything but buzzing inside of my body. My mind is relaxed, rejuvenated.

The stress of just asking where they are taking me or why is a heavy weight. It keeps churning through my mind. I know how to handle these types of situations and right now... I just want to not be with Talon. The further from talon, the better the chances I have at seeing Jack again. I'll just focus on that... on him.

My head was upside down staring at the back of the large man, heavy footsteps as he carried me along a dirt road. My hands peeking out from a large sweatshirt, the hood closed tightly around my face over my mouth. I tried lifting my head up but my neck felt too heavy, that's not right my head... I quieted a giggle. My head is heavy. A car door Squeaked loudly before I was tossed in like a sack of something. Sombra crawled in next to me, wearing a veiled disguise. I only know it's her because of the nails and distinct scent of lavender, I didn't expect that, It's almost not like her, but since I've been in close quarters it's all I smell that is pleasant. The men just smell like oil, dust, explosives and sweat.

" gettin real bodgy with this" grumbled Junkrat.

" yeah" mumbled Roadhog.

" working on it, your the ones that put it this way" retorted Sombra.

" no need to get aggro! Just a bit tired" Junkrat sheepishly admitted.

" what's happening? " I stated before I could stop myself. The question hung in the air, Junkrat shifted in his seat, like a child being scolded.

" nothing Sheila. Just relax" he muttered after a minute, his long fingers twisting his hair tightly.

I know he's lying, and feels guilty about it all, but this... please don't let this be another hallucination. Another cruel mind experiment by Talon. Please please let this be real, at least then I'll have a chance. I fiddle with the strings on the sweatshirt I'm in. It smells like Junkrat, it was probably his at one point. The air is chilly, I can feel gusts coming through the small holes in the vehicle.

They keep putting the mask in my face, keeping me sedated and happy. There must be some guilt, I know Junkrat is feeling guilty... but he's a killer, a diabolical one at that. Maybe he can't stand to see some of his handiwork up-close. It's easier to distance yourself from the nightmares you cause.

I fell asleep again, for the seemingly hundredth time since leaving the explosion. Their hushed voices alerting me that I should just stay quiet and listen to whatever they are discussing.

" she wants her in the office in the next two hours or the deal is off" whispered Sombra angrily.

" ah dumb bitch can wait awhile longer. She's waited this long" Junkrat said in an attempted whisper.

" and whose fault is that?" Sombra replied.

" oh don't you come the raw prawn with me..." Junkrat hissed.

" what ? It's true... mr. Explosives expert!" She mocked, Roadhog let out a laugh while Junkrat had a sigh of disapproval.

" she's right " Roadhog laughed with glee.

" pipe down" grunted Junkrat still being quite loud.

" doesn't matter" Said Sombra as she gently stroked my hair again.

So I am going somewhere, where I'm being traded by the nicest people I know throughout this entire ordeal. They are being overly nice to me, no chances of this working out in a good way for me?

' did you really think they would just drop you off wherever and let you live your life?'

It's a dream not a reality.

' precisely, who the hell would risk fighting talon for you... especially out of these... people. '

" where are you taking me" I asked as I shifted to upright position.

I was greeted with silence, I could see Junkrat's jaw twitch for a moment as Roadhog glanced over at him.

"Well?" I asked again.

" darl just take your medicine and rest" he uttered under his breath. Roadhog was already handing him the mask to send back.

This time I accepted it willingly, deeply inhaling and feeling the relaxation of my mind.

I know I'm fucking this up, I shouldn't be taking this, hell I need to push this subject more.

Placing my feet against the back of Roadhog's seat, he growled in annoyance but it was the most comfortable I've been in...

" how long was I—" I started but Sombra shot me a look of disapproval.

Fine, they don't want to talk about anything.

The back area of the transport was dark, I don't think we are on actual seats, just a makeshift one. I'm finally realizing that Sombra has rarely used her phone or any tech. She's just sitting there in silence, sometimes fidgeting but mostly staring straight ahead.

If I have to make a guess about this situation, I think Junkrat isn't thrilled with it. He's almost riddled with guilt, the slight grimace as he speaks to me, the pleading glances at Roadhog. Something is off here, who owes who? And why am I being handled like this? A pyromaniac is taking a weird interest and pity on me.

Their hushed voices getting more aggressive, Sombra leaned forward her veil grazing my legs, perfect nails digging into Junkrats shoulder as she softly spoke. The medicine is buzzing throughout my body, their voices sound muffled as is, but adding in this and I'm just on another planet.

Focus on Jack, getting the fuck home from here. Actually living our lives, I pray we can live a normal life. No Overwatch, no U.N., no terrorists.

Just being able to wake up next to him again... feeling his arms tighten around me as I woke up. The instant shower of kisses, or just him running his finger down my back, sending a jolt of euphoria in my entire body. We lived for those moments, he would pull me onto him with such an intense desire as he made his way inside of me.

Sombra bumped against me as she resettled into her seat, jolting me from my precious memories. I glared for a second, she didn't notice as she folded her arms over her chest.

" something wrong?" I asked, I actually feel concern for her... well, I guess talon didn't completely destroy my faith in humanity.

"Sin hablar" ( no talking) she replied.

It took a moment to translate that, my brain in scrambled with the languages I remember.

" por que no?" ( why not?)

She tossed her hair and looked forward, sometimes I'm not sure why I even bother.

' of course you bother, because you genuinely care about everyone' Jack would say in response.

Her eyes looked more fierce than I've seen. I saw her reaching for her phone, the soft purple light casting to the windshield.

The brakes Squealed as Roadhog jerked the wheel around. I could see her typing frantically before Roadhog reaches back and grabs the phone in one fell swoop. The crunch of plastic and metal.

" THE FUCK" she yelled, reaching up towards him. Her claws ready to stick into his meaty flesh, but his hand slammed forward and grabbed hers. I heard a small pop of dislocation in the joint, followed by a fury of Spanish swearing, faster than I could translate.

I leaned back as Junkrat lightly boxed Roadhog's arm.

Sombra was nursing the wrist, restraining herself from whimpering too loudly.

I carefully moved my hand towards hers, offering a look of genuine concern. She just rolled her eyes and held out her arm, decently simple pop back in, I counted silently with my fingers for her before readjusting her wrist. She let out a howl and slapped me.

Then I didn't remember shit.

I just woke up slightly restrained, a mask over my face with a steady stream of the the medicine or whatever it is. Sombra was moaning in the corner. And Junkrat was settled in between us, looking straight ahead, scratch marks and lacerations over his face and flesh.

" what..."

" justa flesh wound" he retorted.

" can I fix them?" I softly asked.

Roadhog tossed the first aid kit into the back, I scrambled to catch it.

" I don't need any of that" protested Junkrat. I shrugged and tried to get a better look at Sombra, her hand was gripping her neck. Blood was trickling down her hands.

" what about her?"

" uhm, she'll be alright" his tense expression tightened more.

" no, really I can help" I insisted reaching a hand out towards her. She pushed herself against the wall of the truck.

" keep her away from me" she hissed.

My hand recoiled, but not before I saw the remains of dried blood, an attempt had been made to wipe it off.

What...

" did I do that?!" I Shrieked.

" no no, you tried to uh—" Junkrat started to speak but I keep going on and on.

" I did that... didn't I? " I kept repeating over and over. My pulse began to race, I'm a monster. I'm a monster.

" naw, just hit a bump in the road" Said Junkrat trying to calm me, gently placing the mask on my face again.

" just breathe it in, that'll do ya" He soothes, as he weirdly pats my back. What the hell is this nightmare? What did I do?

" dinnit do a thing, calm down" he repeated.

I could hear Roadhog laughing. Maybe he did it? I tried reasoning with myself. Maybe it was him, maybe we are all hostages...

An amused smile was on Junkrat's face, he removed the mask from my mouth.

Sombra began to kick him from the side. His metal arm reached out and held her legs firmly in place while she squirmed.

" I don't get paid enough for this shit" she growled while resisting.

Roadhog turned in his seat, slowing down the truck and firing a dart into her.

" you do know—-

sabrán si algo sale mal" ( they will know if anything goes wrong) she hissed as she was knocked out.

" what does-" I started to say, trying my best to translate.

" don't worry bout it! Rough night" Said Junkrat as he let go of her. Roadhog tossed back some rope, I could hear Junkrat almost sigh in remorse but the grunt from the man encouraged him to do it.

I watched as he tied the knots tightly around her hands and feet.

" was willst du von mir?" ( what do you want from me?) I asked.

" I understood none of that. Now, tell me something nice" Said Junkrat.

" Peace" I whispered then almost laughed. Apparently my male companions found that to be hysterical. An almost maniacal laugh burst from Junkrat, while Roadhog chuckled.

" s'right... something else then" Junkrat said between laughs.

I can't talk about him, but I want too.

" I'm a doctor " I responded then burst into laughter as well.

" well that's a given..." Junkrat laughed.

" any weird stories there? "

" besides your arm?" I asked looking at it.

" hey! It works just fine! Didn't want none of those fancy prosthetic" he defended.

" true, but you went with all metal? I know someone who could upgrade that " I said.

" do you? Always could use some improvements then an' again. But I could just do it myself! Didn't you make a man from metal?"

" ah yes, he's not entirely metal. He's more man than metal" I answered.

" so he's still—"

I blushed immediately knowing what he was implying, how very rude of him to ask... my head feels so light and dizzy.

" he's intact, not that it's your business"

Junkrat mocked being insulted, or maybe he was... my mind isn't functioning properly.

Roadhog began grunting heavily and sounding annoyed, Junkrat stumbled back into the front seat. His peg leg getting caught on something as he tripped forward.

Roadhog let out another full body laugh at that, even in my warped mind state, that isn't something to laugh about. Junkrat Just slapped his arm and plunked into his seat.

After a few moments he turned around, motioning for me to sleep. That's all I do, I sleep, I get knocked out... I don't remember anything... but I don't want whatever Roadhog shot into Sombra.

Closing my eyes for show and laying down , the dirty blanket I was laying on smelled heavily of explosive material. It's one of the strongest odors in here, I cover my nose with my hand. But the smell of dried blood permeates my senses. If Sombra was the aggressor why do I have blood on me?

I saw Roadhog grab Junkrat's neck for a moment before letting it go a moment later. Junkrat had a sad expression on his face that kept shifting from jesters grin to absolute sadness. I think I can trust him, everyone else? Probably not.

 **A/N: AH! sorry for this being so late, i'm currently working on some technical issues and learning Ashe! I'm a support main but i'm trying!**

 **I hope this combined chapter worked! i ended up halving them, to progress the story more, i reaaaally hoped this worked out, it's not my favorite way to do these things, but ehhh.**

 **Anyways! i hope everyone has been having a lovely day!**

 **Huge thanks of course to the lovely L0rdOfThEMemes , CyborgNinja777, ayumiiishinozakiii, robot584 and anyone else who is still supporting this extremely long fic!**


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